On Episode 5 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Dr. Heather Taylor, a surviving sibling, therapist, and grief advocate, who shares the story of losing her brother, Garrett, to an accidental overdose, and how that loss completely reshaped her life, her career, and her mission in the grief space.

Heather takes us back to her childhood growing up in a small town in Washington State, where she and her younger brother Garrett were raised surrounded by nature, imagination, and a deep sibling bond. They were each other's constant—playing outside, competing in sports, and later maintaining a close relationship into adulthood through what she lovingly calls their "sibling dates." Garrett was her biggest champion, the voice that reminded her who she was when she doubted herself.

That bond makes what happened next even more devastating.

In November 2009, just one month after a meaningful late-night conversation where Heather reminded Garrett she would love him no matter what, her world shattered. Garrett died suddenly from an accidental overdose after unknowingly taking methadone in combination with other substances. The loss was shocking, confusing, and layered with complicated emotions, especially as the family tried to make sense of what had happened in real time.

Heather shares the raw early days of grief—the shock, the numbness, the need to "do something" (even if that meant cutting out holiday apron patterns just to keep moving), and the surreal experience of planning a memorial while still trying to process the reality that her brother was gone.

What followed was years of unprocessed grief, anger, and searching for support that didn't exist in the way she needed. After multiple frustrating experiences trying to find a therapist who truly understood grief, Heather made a life-changing decision: she would become the therapist she couldn't find.

This episode is a powerful reminder that grief is not something to "get over," but something to live with, integrate, and carry forward—and that healing happens not by rushing the process, but by allowing grief to take up space in our lives.

In This Episode:

(0:00:00) – Meet Heather + Remembering Garrett Heather shares her childhood, growing up close with her younger brother, and the deep bond they carried into adulthood.

(0:02:30) – Growing Up in Nature + A Strong Sibling Bond From building forts in the woods to sibling dates in college, Heather reflects on their connection and Garrett's role as her biggest supporter.

(0:08:30) – The Conversation A late-night moment one month before Garrett's death becomes a memory Heather carries with her forever.

(0:10:00) – The Day Everything Changed Heather describes the moment her parents showed up at her office and how she learned Garrett had died unexpectedly.

(0:13:00) – Understanding What Happened The family learns Garrett died from an accidental overdose, adding layers of confusion, anger, and heartbreak.

(0:16:00) – Shock, Numbness, and "Doing Something" Heather shares how early grief felt—and why simple tasks like making aprons became a way to cope.

(0:20:00) – The Memorial + Early Grief Reactions Planning Garrett's service, wanting more photos, and navigating overwhelming emotions.

(0:22:00) – Finding a "Grief Buddy" Heather reflects on how connecting with someone else grieving helped her feel less alone.

(0:31:00) – The Importance of Finding the Right Therapist Why connection matters more than credentials—and how to know when it's not the right fit.

(0:36:00) – Grief as the "New Normal" Heather shares how she built her practice and podcast around redefining grief as something we integrate, not overcome.

(0:43:00) – Grief vs. Trauma Why not everything needs to be labeled as trauma—and how grief deserves its own space.

(0:47:00) – The "Grief Cyclone" Explained Heather introduces her powerful metaphor for how grief moves over time—not in stages, but in cycles.

(0:51:00) – Final Advice for the Newly Bereaved Why grief gets to take up space, why there's no timeline, and how to move at your own pace.

This episode is sponsored by Grief Is The New Normal

Connect with Heather:

Website: https://clinicians.griefisthenewnormal.com/homepage
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Grief-is-the-New-Normal-Psychological-Services/61555887374241/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/grief_is_the_new_normal/
Youtube: http://youtube.com/@Grief_Is_The_New_Normal
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@grief.is.the.new.normal

Connect with Maya:

Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/
Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast
Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod
Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com
Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast
YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast