On episode 1 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast® host, Maya Roffler is joined by Stephen Stott who opens up about the tragic loss of his sister, Stacy, to a car accident 24 years ago.

Stephen was just 16 when his life changed forever. After being "voluntold" to accompany his sister to a cheerleading camp six hours away, he shared a moment of deep personal truth with her the first person he ever came out to as queer. Just days later, on the drive home, they both fell asleep behind the wheel. Stacy didn't survive. Stephen did.

What follows is a deeply moving story of grief, identity, movement, and healing. Stephen shares how he turned toward dance, breathwork, and somatic healing not only to honor Stacy's memory but to help others process grief in their own bodies. He also reflects on his decision to found Embrace the Darkness, a platform and resource space that embraces the hard and sacred work of grief, especially for queer siblings and those needing support outside of traditional therapy.

This episode is about so much more than loss. It's about grief in the body, safe spaces for queer siblings, and what it means to move with your grief instead of away from it.

In This Episode:

(0:00:00) – Meet Stephen and Remembering Stacy Stephen shares who Stacy was, their sibling bond through movement, and the moment that changed everything.

(0:04:00) – Movement as Medicine: Honoring Stacy Through Dance Stephen describes how continuing cheer, gymnastics, and dance helped him stay close to his sister and move through grief.

(0:05:00) – Coming Out and Catastrophe: The Last Conversation Stephen tells the powerful story of coming out to his sister just days before the fatal car accident. It was the first time he told anyone he liked boys.

(0:06:30) – The Car Accident and Immediate Aftermath He recalls the surreal moment of waking up in the hospital, already knowing deep in his bones that Stacy was gone.

(0:08:00) – Back to School, No Time to Grieve Just a week after the accident, Stephen was thrown back into high school, sports, and work using distraction to survive.

(0:11:00) – Survivor Guilt, Queer Identity, and Grieving Alone Stephen reflects on how his queer identity shaped his grief and how he struggled to find representation and resources.

(0:14:00) – Why Queer Grief Spaces Are Essential Maya and Stephen dive into why queer-specific grief groups matter, and how judgment—even within sibling spaces can create harm.

(0:21:00) – The Turning Point at 21: A Grief Conference Shifts Everything Stephen's mother encouraged him to attend a grief conference, where a simple dance skit helped him feel seen and opened a path toward healing.

(0:25:00) – Becoming a Social Worker and Healing Through Service Stephen shares how his desire to help others evolved into a career in social work and ultimately into his grief-centered platform.

(0:27:00) – Founding Embrace the Darkness He explains why toxic positivity doesn't work, and how this powerful name emerged from his belief that we must sit with the dark to truly heal.

(0:43:00) – Parasympathetic Nervous System & Breathwork as Reset Maya and Stephen discuss how breathwork activates the vagus nerve and helps shift the body from chaos to calm.

(0:47:00) – The Mission Moving Forward Stephen talks about his workshops, his work with siblings globally, and his dream to bring more somatic healing into the grief world.

About Embrace the Darkness

Stephen is the founder of Embrace The Darkness, a platform that provides breathwork, sibling grief support, and LGBTQ+-affirming spaces for healing.

Stephen is starting a 6-month program and is offering $1,000 off for any surviving sibling.

The unspoken path community discount: https://embracethedarkness.org/surviving-siblings-podcast-special

This episode is sponsored by Embrace The Darkness

Connect with Stephen:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BreathingIntoGrief
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/breathingintogrief/
Email: Stephen@EmbraceTheDarkness.org
Website: https://embracethedarkness.org/

Connect with Maya:

Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/
Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast
Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod
Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com
Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast
YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

Stephen Loses Stacy To A Car Accident