A (2:18)

1,000%. So we didn't get to hang out in LA. You've kind of picked up and moved to the west coast, like, in a really annoying way. When I've needed you most. I know your wife is pregnant. You haven't been on the toast with me in, like, a year. We have so much to catch up on. Hey, girl. Hey.

B (2:32)

Taylor's trigger.

A (2:33)

How are you?

B (2:34)

I am so good. Listen, I miss New York at my core. Like, she's a New Yorker, but I feel like, how about this? I'll say I'm not a west coaster, but I am enjoying my time the most I ever have when I'm visiting L. A. Said, like a true New Yorker, I.

A (2:51)

Don'T want to make you jealous, but you are missing, like, the best time in New York. Central park is, like, yellow and orange and green. It's insanely beautiful. Like, the weather is so crisp. Everybody's just wearing, like, their wool coats. Not to make you jealous. I'm glad you're having a good time. I have a sneaky feeling I know what you're up to in L. A. So it's like, time well spent. Yeah. And I know you're limited on what you can say. She is, but I just have a sneaky feeling I know what you're doing and it's good.

B (3:15)

Thank you for saying that. It really is. I'm. I am fine. I'm living my dreams.

A (3:21)

Yeah.

B (3:22)

She's been in this business for 20 years. Like, it's about fucking time.

A (3:26)

So, yeah, you're crushing it. Like, and it's been fun to watch. And I cannot believe that you moved your wife across the country when she's, what now, like, seven months pregnant.

B (3:34)

Listen, listen. We are fulfilling her dreams of having a baby. And bitch has dreams too. Okay, I just take a back seat now. Listen, I didn't plan for our dreams to slam into each other at the same, same time. The timing could not be worse, but, like, when it happens, it happens. And you just have to be ready, willing and able.

A (3:58)

Men, plans. God. Laughs. Jackie and I always say, like, everything in our life happens at once. Like, weeks go by. No. What is that phrase? It's like, days happen in a year and years happen in a day or whatever. Yep, it's something like that. How is Taylor Donahue doing?

B (4:15)

She's so good. Honestly, she is the chillest pregnant person ever. I could never. I am. I act more like a hormonal pregnant woman than she does pregnant. So I really appreciate that she still let me be the diva bitch baby throughout the pregnancy. It's like she is. She hasn't complained. She's farting a lot.

A (4:36)

And do they smell different?

B (4:37)

You know what? I don't. I don't know if they smell different, but I don't mind them. Now, I want to be clear. They're not like my fart, because my farts are the most amazing things you've ever smelled in your entire life.

A (4:49)

Of course. Perfume.

B (4:50)

Oh, my God. Like, bottle it and let me just fucking inhale it. Like I have a huffing problem, you know?

A (4:55)

Number five.

B (4:58)

You know it. But hers are becoming less potent and more similar to my, like. Like, they hit like mine do, but it's not as enjoyable, but, like, it's not repugnant.

A (5:11)

Do you want to hear something crazy that you're gonna experience? Like, when the baby is born and you're, like, changing diapers and the baby's farting and you want the baby to fart, it means they're, like, clearing out gas, and it, like, provides them a lot of relief. You will notice that the baby's farts, like, smell like Taylor's, especially if she's breastfeeding. Is that on Taylor's journey? I haven't spoken to her about that.

B (5:31)

Oh, my God. We just went to a breastfeeding class the other day. Yeah, it's on her. It's on her, Jo. For sure.

A (5:37)

Wait, what kind of class? And why don't you just call me if you have questions? I could teach that class.

B (5:41)

It's just like. It was just like, a lactation thing. Like, we're, like. We're trying to, like, do. Do the things. We're trying to jump off the to do list. It's like lactation. We also are trying to, like, figure out, like, do we have to go to a Lamaze class? Do we?

A (5:56)

So Lamaze is, like, a thing of the past. Although a lot of the techniques, like the breathing techniques, are still implemented. Some people. It's, like, kind of a choice. You'd have to ask Taylor. Some people do all the classes, right? Like, you can do Lamaze. You can do labor prep. You can do newborn prep. Because some people feel like they're best when they are most prepared. I personally opted not to do any of those things because I just felt like it would scare me.

B (6:19)

Yes. Yes.

A (6:20)

Like, I don't want to know. Like, I'm all set.

B (6:22)

And, like, you still did it with flying colors, right?

A (6:27)

Not really, but I did it. You know, I just kind of feel.

B (6:31)

Like we're do it kind of girlies, too. Like, Tay's, like, she's very low maintenance. She's very easy, breezy, beautiful cover girl. I just feel like maybe we just, like, go in and see how it goes.

A (6:42)

That's my preferred method. I. I have no regrets about going in without, you know, a spreadsheet and a binder full of information. I actually think it was better. Yeah. But I am curious, you know, I feel like everybody's like, how's Teddy? How's Teddy? How's Teddy? But you know what? How's Taylor?

B (6:56)

Thank you so much for asking. No one ever asks about me anymore. It's already happening. This baby is taking my role in my relationships. You should see the two of them, Claudia, hanging out without me, and literally every single time. First of all, they did a couple's costume this year. I was not included. Yep, the Bump was the main character of that costume. And then I'm over here being Blake Lively. Everybody thought I was fucking Brittany Mahomes.

A (7:23)

Okay, I have two things I want to say to you. The first is that when you go on your tirades against Taylor and the baby, I'm never going to be on your side. I just want you to know because usually it's like you and I versus Teddy and Ben.

B (7:33)

Yeah.

A (7:34)

But in this scenario, I am Teddi, and, like, I ride for Teddy. Whatever Teddy wants, Teddy gets. Like, you just better act right, bitch. Okay.

B (7:40)

No, no, no.

A (7:42)

I'm so glad you brought up your costume. I need to talk to you about your Halloween costume, please. I fucking loved it.

B (7:48)

Thank you.

A (7:48)

I understood it immediately. Like, anybody who did it. Oh, please. Slobs. Like, guys, she dressed up as Blake Lively at the super bowl when she wore, like, that really curly blonde hair, the red tracksuit, Ben was. Ben literally said to me last night, randomly, he was like, why was Taylor Strecker Sue Sylvester for Halloween?

B (8:06)

So many people thought that Claudia. It's great.

A (8:09)

She does own the red tracksuit. So, like, I hear that, but the hair, I thought the mole. You executed it perfectly. I loved it. I was so, so impressed.

B (8:18)

Oh, my God. Thank you so much. I just wanted to be something not hideous this year. Like, the last time I dress up, I was an Internet troll, and I was disgusting.

A (8:25)

I was funny, though.

B (8:26)

It was.

A (8:26)

That was really funny.

B (8:28)

As long as it's funny.

A (8:30)

Your costume was funny. But that video you had posted, pretending to be an Internet troll was even funnier when you were like, oh, Sorry, I didn't think you were gonna open this.

B (8:38)

Yeah, it's like, I hate this fugly so much. And it's like, oh, wait, you saw this. I love you. That's. That's the relationship. That was a very.

A (8:47)

That was funny.

B (8:48)

Brilliant costume and well executed. But I felt like a. Like I just not.

A (8:53)

You didn't feel pretty.

B (8:53)

I felt beyond fugly and I was so hot. I was like standing next to like, like reality TV stars in their underpants and I just look like a schlub. A dub. So anyway, I said this year she will. Because I'm usually something funny. And I said, this year I give myself permission to. To show my stomach while my wife is pregnant.

A (9:12)

You looked amazing and you are. And I. I know you know this, but I can't stress enough to you how blessed you are that you are going to have a baby and you will never have had to go off of Ozempic. I don't think you are grateful. I think you're taking that for granted. I think you're right. I don't think you're grateful enough for it. Like, I think there are, obviously I wouldn't know, but like a lot of challenges coming with that come with being a lesbian. Right? You know, coming out, journey, the social norms. That time that, you know, person called you the D word in the pizza place, remember?

B (9:46)

Yeah.

A (9:47)

So I understand there are a lot of challenges and so you've sort of earned this. Thank you. But it's not fair. It's not fair.

B (9:53)

You know what, thank you for reminding me why I'm so allowed to just bask in the glory of the Zempi Furoa forever. Forever and ever. I know, it's so. I really. I took my shot today. I'm like, sorry.

A (10:06)

You're disgusting. I'm so sorry. Some of us are over here getting bigger by the minute.

B (10:12)

Honestly, you look phenomenal. And don't you forget it.

A (10:15)

Please don't patronize me.

B (10:17)

I'm not.

A (10:17)

Don't. Don't patronize me. Okay?

B (10:20)

I'm not. It's the truth.

A (10:22)

I miss you so much. We haven't had a Kiki. I've only been out like since I had the babes, like five or six times. We had an amazing time when we went to Lady Gaga together. That was so much fun, the fact that you're not here.

B (10:34)

Although we had an interesting moment. You. How about this? You witnessed an interesting moment for me. We cannot go into the details, but there I have an interesting moment at Gaga.

A (10:44)

I mean, you know, I I will refrain from going into too much detail because the toasters have accused you of talking too much about your former life. But just in case anybody is new here, I just want to say one thing. You might not know that at one point Taylor was married to a straight man. And Taylor has lived two lives. I have only personally known you. We met like, 10 years ago, which was in your, you know, post divorce life. I never knew you in your, like, straight girl era.

B (11:08)

Yeah.

A (11:09)

And you were just very much just like Tribeca brat. Like, it's insane. Like, you had, like, you carried a shell bag, you had a huge ring on your hand. Like, it's. I just. It's just so crazy. I can't even picture it.

B (11:20)

I miss her. I love her. I hope she's doing well.

A (11:24)

Having said that, every now and then we'll be out together and you will run into somebody from your former life.

B (11:30)

Correct.

A (11:31)

And it's insane to see, like, the way you switch, really explain. So when we were at Gaga, we ran into somebody who obviously, like, I didn't even know who they were, but, like, it was like, just somebody you knew from your former life. Like, sort of like a couple friend from your former life. Yeah. And I don't know if it's necessarily you switching, but I think it's also you just, like, kind of freaking because, like, you're in this new life freaking, and you just want everybody from your past to, like, die. Like, you're like, I don't want to see you ever again. You don't exist. And then when they kind of penetrate your bubble, it's very jarring.

B (12:00)

Right. Even if you, like, said people, it's still close. It's still like, oh, my God, like, you know so much.

A (12:06)

What are you doing here? This is my planet. And you're on the other planet. You can't be here. Planet.

B (12:14)

Yeah.

A (12:14)

Literally.

B (12:15)

So. And this is the thing is, I know I also get accused by my.

A (12:18)

Audience of being repetitive Rita.

B (12:21)

Of literally never letting anything go. And just they're like, get over it. It's been over 10 years. You're with Teddi for a decade. And I'm like, no, no, no. I know it. And I know I'm so annoying, and I know I'm God awful, but, like, people have to understand that, like, if I. I will never be able to fully escape it. It will. It will always be. So when. When I am reminded of it, I. Fudgeing ricochet right back to, like 1992 or whatever the fuck it was.

A (12:49)

If we're drinking which we usually are. You become like, low key, toxic.

B (12:53)

Do you think? No, I'm really trying to work, like, especially like now here where I am, like, I'm like, Taylor, you've, like, look where you are. You really have gotten the things that you wanted. So, like, like, let's move on. Like, let's enter this new phase of our life. Like, let's not wallow in the past and like, obsess.

A (13:12)

Wow. After 10 years, she's not wallowing. Yes, Queen.

B (13:16)

I'm trying, but, like, you know, I did. I recently got interviewed for Cosmopolitan uk. Thank you, thank you. And I was, I'm. Oh, this is the thing too. I'm always asked about. My story's very. Like, you were married to a man.

A (13:29)

Because it's very interesting.

B (13:31)

It is.

A (13:31)

You don't know a lot. Meet a lot of, like, late in life lesbians who are as open as you are. So to that we commend you.

B (13:38)

Thank you so much. So I was asked about, like, the husband of it all. And I, when I read the quote, I thought, chef's kiss. It was so nice about him. And it deserves to be. Like, we are, you know, so we're growing. She's growing.

A (13:53)

I love that Taylor. Now, I had one more thing I wanted to ask you. How is Teddy doing? And I've spoken to her briefly about it, but, like, you know, we. And I struggled with it too. Like, we are swirlies who love a cocktail. We like to swirl it up with a cocktail. Yes. I know that you have not been like a sympathetic partner. You've not stopped drinking.

B (14:12)

No.

A (14:13)

How is Teddi doing without the drinking?

B (14:15)

So I've been cocktailing more than ever, which is the problem. But like, that's like, she's so cool. She never gives me shit. There was a time in the beginning when I was drinking, I'd be like, are you mad at me? Is this annoying? Are you mad at me?

A (14:29)

Oh, God. You would become like a self conscious drunk person. How annoying.

B (14:33)

She's like, if you keep asking me, it's gonna be annoying. Just drink and chat up about it. She really doesn't care. But she's been amazing. And I've even been like, tay, like, you're in your third trimester. Like you, you truly could. Because we were out to dinner one night. She's like, oh, what I would do for a glass of red. And I said, you, you could. I won't judge. And she is just like, I don't want to. I don't want to.

A (14:56)

Yeah, that was like a Nice part of pregnancy that I realized because I was worried like so much of my social life is, you know, revolves around. I love a cocktail. I love going out to dinner. And like you worry that it's going to be boring or that you're going to yearn for it and you can't have it. And your body really helps you out. Like it's the last thing you want. You have no cravings for it. Like it's just yucky.

B (15:15)

It's like in your mind you want to put. When you get it, you're like, this is not worth anything that's woring me. It's kind of like when I first started going on oics.

A (15:24)

Whatever.

B (15:25)

It's like I. I poured it cuz I. Cuz I had addiction. But then as I'm drinking it, I'm like, this tastes like swill.

A (15:34)

Yeah. Let me ask you another question.

B (15:36)

Yeah.

A (15:39)

Did you hear what I said on the toast about the baby's name?

B (15:41)

I did.

A (15:43)

And what did you think?

B (15:43)

Thank you for the shout out. The way I love a shout out. It really means everything to me. Please never stop.

A (15:48)

So you're never. I mean you're not never. You're not telling anyone the baby's name? Listen, you and Teddy know it. Who came up with it?

B (15:55)

We came up with it together.

A (15:57)

Who came up with it?

B (15:58)

We came up with it together.

A (16:00)

Who?

B (16:00)

Her?

A (16:00)

Yeah.

B (16:00)

Fine. I guess it's me if you have to pay.

A (16:03)

Oh, sure, sure. Okay.

B (16:05)

No, like when you find out, you will understand. The truth will be revealed.

A (16:09)

And so did you. Did you like my suggestion though?

B (16:11)

Your suggestion was so good. So yours was Birdie, right?

A (16:16)

Yeah.

B (16:16)

Okay, here's the T. Birdie was on our list. Very hardcore. We didn't even think about the eagles. Birds connection. Brilliant. Beyond brilliant.

A (16:27)

Oh, you just liked the name.

B (16:28)

It was so good we almost put it back on the list. Because that's how good your logic was. Like, I was like. But should we? It was a very strong contender. But then my sister in law, Tay's little sister Allie, she has been fostering dogs and she fostered a dog that we were kind of interested in maybe adopting and she accidentally, without realizing what she was doing, named it Birdie. And Birdie and her. She's a beautiful girl. Okay. But Birdie and her snaggletooths. I could never. I could never get it out of my head.

A (16:58)

No, you made me hate the name.

B (17:00)

Now Birdie is officially off the list. But a very valiant effort and such a good guess and very. Anyone we have told no one Tay's mother does not know her sister. Ashley is literally Ashley. Just recently, she. She's really a for effort. She's really trying to try. She was like, tay's birthday's coming up. I want to get her something. But I feel like it'd be, like, really great to get her something for the baby, but I want to get it monogrammed, monogram. So if you could give me. And I was like, listen, you know, I would tell you, like, right, Right. The second. I am scared of Tay. She is a pregnant woman. She doesn't ask for anything. This is the one thing.

A (17:43)

No, we have to honor it. We have to honor it. I just want to say, like, it's insane that you're not telling me, and I'm so upset.

B (17:48)

I know. Don't worry. Join the fucking club. And so. But I almost gave her the initials, but then I was like, you know what? Things could really change in the 11th hour.

A (17:56)

True.

B (17:57)

So I just said, it's worth me not giving you the initials, but just like, no. I'm so sorry.

A (18:04)

I can't wait for you to come home. I can't wait for you guys to have a baby. Like, it's gonna be so much fun. Like, us and Brian. Like, we all have babies. Like, it's gonna be sick.

B (18:11)

I know. Tay's actually coming home a little bit before me.

A (18:15)

Good. If she needs anything, you know, she can come stay with me.

B (18:17)

Literally. Can she come live with you? By the way, how's the new pad?

A (18:22)

It's so great. I'm so happy to be home from la, by the way. I'm glad you're having, like, a nice time, but not for me. Not for me.

B (18:32)

I do get it. I do get it. And don't worry, nobody's at risk of us moving out here. Okay.

A (18:37)

I don't know. You're kind of crushing it with what I think you're doing.

B (18:40)

I just come out here extended periods of time. Loves it for work. I, I, I cannot be an LA.

A (18:48)

Person in the car all day. I can't.

B (18:51)

It's not for me.

A (18:52)

Well, in terms of things you can do.

B (18:55)

Yeah.

A (18:55)

Taylor, are you ready for the last five stories that you need to know?

B (18:59)

So ready. Let's go.

A (19:00)

All right. Today's episode of the Toast is brought to you by Neiman Marcus and Neiman Marcus. There's really something truly special for everyone. You can find anything from home to kids. I've gotten some fabulous kids items at Neiman Marcus. It's one of my favorite places to shop. The website is super fun. You're going to discover amazing new brands. They have tons of different categories too. So they have, you know, cover coveted IT bags, gourmet goodies, elegant timepieces, very stunning jewelry, the ultimate stocking stuffers, beauty must haves and the chicest kids clothings. They also carry toys. A lot of people don't know that, so if you're shopping for the impossible to shop for a friend or family member, Neiman Marcus and their holiday gift guides make it so easy. And of course they're legendary fantasy gifts. One of a kind items that can surpass every expectations. 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Whatever your style or your budget is, you can earn rewards and get the best savings in the neighborhood. They have a huge selection of home goods. Everything you need for living room, outdoor areas, bedrooms and more. They make it easy with fast and free shipping. Even on the big stuff. They will help you set it up. Tons of different shipping and delivery options too, which I really appreciate. So don't miss out on early Black Friday deals. Head to wayfair.com now to shop Wayfair's Black Friday deals for up to 70% off. That's w a y F a I r. The sale ends December 7th. So you know, take time, make your mood board, save links, make an account. That way you can save everything but really take advantage. It's so good. W a y f a f aIr.com the Black Friday deals and the sale ends December 7th. What order do I want to do this in? You know. Okay. Yeah, okay. Jennifer Aniston has a new man. They're going Instagram official. His name is Jim Curtis. She's called him my love. So the friend star Hard launched her romance on social media as she wished her boyfriend a happy birthday. Alongside a very sweet black and white photo of her hugging him from the back, she wrote, happy birthday to my love, cherished. And then she added a red heart emoji. I saw, you know, she tagged him, so of course I did, like, a very, you know, brief Stock. He had 700,000 followers. So he's like. Like a content creator? Yeah, he's like a content creator.

B (25:29)

Oh, shit.

A (25:31)

Yeah, he does, like, wellness and things and, you know, whatever.

B (25:35)

I thought he was a magician, but then I just reminded myself he's actually a hypnotist.

A (25:40)

Oh, is he?

B (25:41)

Yeah, he's like, I think he does a lot of woo stuff, but, like, one of his main things is hypnotizing. People like, to quit.

A (25:47)

Do you think she maybe doesn't love him? He just hypnotized her.

B (25:50)

That's the fear. Is she okay?

A (25:52)

That's like fudgeing crazy.

B (25:54)

That crazy. I mean, listen, he's very hot, but, like, he is. Yeah, he's not a no 1, but, I mean, he has seven times more Instagram followers than me. Not that I'm counting, but that's really.

A (26:05)

Crazy that he's a hypnotist. I never thought about that, like, because, you know, you just find yourself in conversations all the time, like, oh, what do you do? What does your husband do? Oh, my husband's a hypnotist.

B (26:12)

So really, I don't want to judge, but it's an interesting profession. We'll say that.

A (26:18)

I. I like that. It's an interesting job. For sure.

B (26:21)

It would.

A (26:22)

Have you ever been hypnotized?

B (26:23)

I actually have not. Have you?

A (26:26)

I have. I have.

B (26:27)

For what?

A (26:29)

So I know you didn't grow up going to summer camp, so you might not understand, but, like a core memory and a core part of, like, literally any New England summer campus experience is, like an evening activity being. Like, they bring in, like, a hypnotist who, like, hypnotizes the kids.

B (26:43)

And that sounds like a legal issue.

A (26:46)

So everyone's, like, in the gym and like, the. The hypnotist, like, chooses. Chooses, like 10 people. They run it at school too, actually. Chooses, like 10 people to hypnotize. And you go and you sit on the chair and I remember I had. I have experienced like five or six over different summers and stuff. Five or six hypnotists. And I remember wanting to be chosen so badly because it's like the whole camp is packed into the gym and like only 10 or 15 kids get chosen. And I remember getting chosen and I remember like faking the entire time because he's like, when I snap my fingers, this girl will think she's driving a bus. And so he stops. And I was like, hello. I was just like pretending to drive. Like, it was so fake and so stupid. So I kind of understand what Jennifer Aniston's dealing with.

B (27:41)

Yeah, yeah, totally. Same, same.

A (27:44)

I imagine it's just like so frustrating to date a hypnotist. Like, you get into an argument and like, instead of gaslighting you, he just like takes a pendant and starts like.

B (27:51)

Swinging it in front of your eyes. Yeah, I'm a little worried about her. Like, is she okay?

A (27:57)

No. So, I mean, she's definitely getting dick the fuck down. He's enormous and so hot.

B (28:02)

Yeah.

A (28:03)

And she's like in perfect shape. You know, she could put her legs behind her back. So I think they're having a good time. I love an age appropriate relationship. She threw him a birthday party and it looked like Courtney Cox was there. Sandra Bullock, Adam Sandler, tons of A listers. So I think he's just fine, you know.

B (28:16)

So Reese Witherspoon was just on Armchair Expert and she was kind of taught.

A (28:20)

Somehow Jennifer Aniston came up about Brad Pitt, right?

B (28:22)

Yes. And she basically was saying how, like, she doesn't like overthink things, she doesn't hold on to things. She's like actually like the most lovely person ever. She's friendly with all of her ex, Brad Pitt included. And like, who was the guy she was married to for literally one Justin Thoreau. Yes. And like. And like, oh, and also Gwyneth Paltrow was at her at Jennifer Aniston's 50th and she was Brad Pitt's fiance.

A (28:44)

Girlfriend. Yeah. Well, you know what? It actually is so sad and crazy.

B (28:48)

Yeah.

A (28:48)

That even. Even today, like when I went to choose stories on the front page of Paid Chicks, they were talking about Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. Like, literally nobody's ever moved on from that. And it must. She's like a deeply accomplished person. She's like a obviously a huge actress. She's invested in a ton of businesses. She's the face of a lot of companies. Like, she's killer businesswoman. She's so accomplished and all we're ever fudgeing, talking about is Brad Pitt. It's insane.

B (29:11)

It's insane. So I'd like, to introduce a new line of communication or conversation when it comes to her. Can we talk about how toxic it is to be friends with all of your exes and, like, all the people that are their exes too? That set that speaks volumes. That. That doesn't. That's not a good look to me. That's a bad look. That's a fake look. That's a fraudulent look.

A (29:31)

So I feel like I really can't contribute to this conversation because, like, one of my greatest slays in life is that I married my first boyfriend. Like, I don't have any exes. Like, I don't have to worry about, like, you know, running into it. Someone at a restaurant, like, you kind of do. So I don't know if it's crazy to be friends with an ex. It sounds nice. It's also crazy to, like, you had sex with that person. I don't know. It's just crazy. But I can't relate.

B (29:54)

I think it's crazy. But I'm also negative and can't let shit go. So maybe I need to look into the mirror for a second.

A (30:00)

Maybe I need to, like, have negative toxic tendencies. That's for sure. What do you think is the most toxic thing about you?

B (30:09)

The way I can hold a grudge.

A (30:11)

I like that, but I actually don't think, like, I think holding a grudge gets a bad rap. Like, did you do something bad? Why should I forget?

B (30:17)

Like, right. And also, like, Queen Taylor Swift, she also loves a grudge. And look at the gorgeous art we get from the grudge holding. So it's actually an amazing thing.

A (30:26)

And I actually have a Taylor Swift lyric for you that I think you will love. Go. And I bury hatchets, but I keep maps of where I put them. I bury hatchets, but I keep maps of, like, we'll bury the hatchet, but I could keep maps of where I put them in case I want to unbury it. That's such a good line.

B (30:42)

I like that. What's that from this new album?

A (30:44)

Reputation. No.

B (30:45)

Yeah. I'm fraudulent. I'm a fraudulent swifty.

A (30:48)

I know.

B (30:49)

I'm a low tier swifty.

A (30:51)

Well, I was saying this on the episode with Xander yesterday. Like, I actually appreciate people who say, like, I like some of her music because I think in this day and age, like, you have to be a swifty if you want to be, like, a content creator. And if you say otherwise, like, I think a lot of people fake how much they like Taylor Swift. Me and Margo. I was just thinking about this. The Other day when the ERA tour was in New York, we went to one of the shows with a brand like in a suite and low key. Me and Margo had the worst time. Everyone there was fake fans like me. Me and Margo are like die hards. We know every song ever for like 10, 15 years. These people were like dancing and jumping, filming themselves for like 22 Shake it off. And then sat through the rest of the concert and then we went home and saw their content and was like literally best night of my fucking life.

B (31:33)

Stop.

A (31:34)

You're so fake. That is. I feel like it's such annoying thing now where like people overplay and like exaggerate the type of safety there. So I really appreciate you saying like I like her music. I think she's a nice girl. But like, you don't have to be the biggest fan of everyone. It's okay.

B (31:46)

I really, really like her. You know what? Actually I have like. You know those memories that you have that you're like this. Like whenever you think about it. You want to die, do. Boy, do I. Would you say one of them was when we went and did karaoke together?

A (31:59)

Absolutely. No. I have so many like butt clenching memories. Especially when I'm drunk.

B (32:04)

Wait, wait, so mine is actually from the same day that you did we. The karaoke. And we were. Shannon Ford. We were at Cipriani.

A (32:14)

Yes.

B (32:14)

The three of us, we sat down and Taylor Swift came up. And you and Shannon, you weren't trying to trick me, but I felt like you were trying to trick me, but you weren't. And you guys were both like, oh, what's your favorite Taylor Swift song? And I started to panic and I felt like I was.

A (32:27)

It's so funny. I have no memory of this. The fact that like it's something you have relived 10,000 times in your brain. I have no idea what you're talking about. I know we all went to Chipriani for lunch.

B (32:36)

The way I feel like you and Shannon after were like, that was so embarrassing about it.

A (32:43)

What did you say?

B (32:44)

You didn't go home and write about in your diary?

A (32:46)

No. What did you say when we asked?

B (32:48)

I panicked. Like I was given a pop quiz and I like forgot names of songs. Like everything went blank.

A (32:54)

Oh my God.

B (32:54)

And I was like, for you. What did you say? The one that's about Connor Kennedy, which. There isn't one.

A (33:00)

I just think it is there. Which song were you talking about?

B (33:04)

You're on your own, kid. You always have been.

A (33:06)

Okay, that's so not about Connor Kennedy. Fifteen years later, there are some songs on Red about Connor Kennedy, but that's funny.

B (33:13)

Yeah. So anyway, so look at that.

A (33:17)

Let this be a lesson to the listeners. Like the moment in your mind that keeps you up at night, that like, you're deeply ashamed of, that you like, have gone over and gone over and gone over that keeps you up at night. No one else is thinking about it. Taylor, I don't even know what you're talking about.

B (33:29)

Oh, my God. That is the most. You know what this is? Life lessons with Taylor and Claude Healing. Yeah, truly.

A (33:36)

Okay, next up, an American institution has died.

B (33:40)

McDonald's.

A (33:42)

God forbid.

B (33:44)

I know.

A (33:46)

Six Flags has officially closed after 50 years of operation. And I don't know why I chose this story. Because I feel like you, like, used to fuck around at six.

B (33:54)

Oh yeah, that's so funny. Now listen, I didn't get fingered on a roller coaster like Reese Witherspoon in Fear. Although I've never seen that movie. Couldn't we all dream? Oh my God, I ruined it for you. I'm so sorry. It's the best part of the movie.

A (34:06)

I wasn't gonna see it.

B (34:09)

I will say this. First of all, watch it. It's amazing. Second of all, like, my germaphobia overcometh me when I think about that scene because I'm like, they didn't have Purell back then. He didn't have wet wipes.

A (34:21)

Like, and those places are filthy.

B (34:23)

Filthy. So I, unlike Reese, I don't want to get fingered at an amusement park.

A (34:30)

But, well, they posted on their Instagram, like, thank you for 50 years of family fun, yada yada. But I had heard that they were doing like some sort of partnership with Travis Kelsey. Oh yeah. In October, it was announced that he would be joining a group of high profile business people to invest in the brand and enhance shareholder value. Improve the, improving the guest experience.

B (34:51)

What happened?

A (34:52)

So, so is. Are they failing after Travis Kelsey or like, they failed and now Travis is coming to help?

B (34:59)

Oh, I don't know.

A (35:00)

Let's.

B (35:01)

Let's say the latter because I like.

A (35:02)

That it actually makes me sad. Like for kids these days. I feel like this is like a real indicator of like kids don't play outside anymore. Like when I. I definitely been to Six Flags, but I'm not like a big roller coaster person. Margot used to go all the time. I like more like a water park, but. But those are like, that was like the most fun you could have as a kid. Right? If you said your dream day, you would say like, I want to go To Six Flags with my friends. And I feel like everybody made so many core memories and now, like, what? They're just like, inside, like, playing Twitch. It's just sad.

B (35:30)

I know. I mean, I could never get fingered out of Six Flags. That's horrible.

A (35:34)

It's horrible.

B (35:36)

What a loss.

A (35:39)

You're. I know, like, you are a lesbian, but you're obsessed with getting fingered.

B (35:42)

No, I actually hate fingering. Think it's disgusting and everybody just cut it out. Like, grow up.

A (35:46)

Oh my. Oh, so you're self hating Les? No, it's not about Les.

B (35:51)

It's about everyone. Heterose are included too. Straighties are also a part of this. Actually, straighties are the biggest culprits of the fingering crime.

A (35:58)

Oh, of course. It's our fault.

B (35:59)

It's disgusting.

A (36:00)

You're so negative.

B (36:02)

I'm such a straight hater.

A (36:05)

You are such a straight hater.

B (36:06)

Straight a phobic.

A (36:08)

I just like, I feel this sisk flag thing is like a really bad sign. Maybe I'm looking too much into it.

B (36:14)

I know. Don't worry. Don't worry. Like, listen, this is.

A (36:17)

By the way, I am worried, but, like, Block doesn't exist anymore.

B (36:20)

And then we got Netflix, so maybe we'll.

A (36:24)

Do you ever yearn for the days where you could just, like, get in the car? Oh, no, no.

B (36:29)

What? Get in the car. Like, have to go stand in the aisles. For some reason, Blockbuster always made me have to poop. It's like the library or Walgreens.

A (36:38)

It just made it more of like an activity. Like nowadays, like, you rot, get in bed, and you just like scroll on your phone while a movie plays in the background. Whereas before, like, you would have to go and pay. And it made it a whole thing. It made it like movies exciting.

B (36:51)

I mean, yes, but like, also, I don't know, I think that we just. We're. We're so spoiled. Like, we. We long for things that are actually so annoying.

A (36:59)

Yeah, but that's true because, like, they're inconvenient. But, you know, this would be a great time to bring up our 11 year age gap, which is one of my favorite things to talk about. How did you interact with Blockbuster? Like, how old were you? Were you like, going to Blockbuster in college?

B (37:14)

Yeah, I was 33 at Blockbusters. Cause I'm 103 right now. I took my kids there. Fuck you.

A (37:24)

No, it was like 20 years ago.

B (37:26)

I was like 12.

A (37:27)

10. No, I was like 12, Taylor.

B (37:29)

Me too.

A (37:30)

No, you weren't, bitch. You were like working in a corporate job.

B (37:33)

Okay, just. Just wait a second. So I top it with the elderly abuse. Also, I. Yeah. When I was in college, I wasn't a loser going to Blockbuster. I was doing keg stands and taking, like, bong hits.

A (37:47)

Oh, yeah. One of the, like, craziest fun facts about Taylor Strecker that, like, doesn't add up with the profile I've built of you in my head is that you went to Ithaca College. Okay, wait. It's seriously the weirdest thing about you.

B (37:59)

Explain yourself. I have so many questions. Like, do you feel like it's too good of a school or less good of a school?

A (38:05)

I don't even know if it's good or bad. It's like, an unknown rando school. Who's ever heard of Ithaca College? Oh, like, when I think of Ithaca.

B (38:11)

College, I'm like, oh, Cornell, welcome to my biggest trigger.

A (38:17)

It's just, like, a random school. I don't know anything about it. I guess it's how people feel about, like, Jackie going to Colgate. Now that I know about Colgate.

B (38:23)

Colgate's much bigger.

A (38:24)

I get it.

B (38:24)

No, no, no.

A (38:25)

Is it bigger? How many. How many kids? Like, is it. Is it a community college?

B (38:34)

I was raised by such educational elitists.

A (38:38)

There are. No. Your dad is a doctor.

B (38:40)

He went to Harvard.

A (38:42)

Oh, right.

B (38:42)

My mom went to Boston College. At least in Boston. That's like the Harvard of Boston.

A (38:46)

But no. Yeah, it's a big school. Harvard's in Boston.

B (38:52)

But, like, you, like, BC is a really good school, at least?

A (38:54)

Yes, it is.

B (38:55)

Where I. Whatever. My brother went to Harvard, my sister went to bc, and they were like, oh, good. Good luck at your idiot school.

A (39:04)

You know what? I've never asked you this because I only know you as an adult, but, like, what sort of role did you play as Taylor in your family? Your siblings are younger than you? Yeah.

B (39:14)

Yeah, A lot. Paige is six and a half, seven years younger than me, and Zach is 11 and a half. Like, younger and same parents. There's like.

A (39:22)

So you were the older sister. You were meant to, like, sort of like Olivia. And in our family, like, Olivia really set the example. She was a very good student. She was definitely the smartest. She knew that she was, like, supposed to be a leader, and she was used to yell at us all the fucking time.

B (39:38)

Yeah.

A (39:39)

And, like, was that the role you took on?

B (39:41)

I. I took more of a role of the cautionary tale.

A (39:45)

Oh, okay. Like, also an important role.

B (39:48)

Very. It was like, see what Taylor does, do the literal opposite.

A (39:52)

Did any of your other siblings get Sent to San Francisco for the summer.

B (39:56)

To live with their Uncle Beau.

A (39:57)

No.

B (39:57)

No, they did not. They did not get that. Honor and privilege.

A (40:00)

Taylor. One of Taylor's, like, it's actually your favorite story. Taylor has the same 10 stories, much like I do Keenan's Uber driver. I have the same 10 stories. You have the same 10 stories too. And I'll never forget when you told me the story, and I'm like, I've listened to your same 10 stories 100 times, and you never thought to bring up this one. Taylor was, like, a troubled youth. How old were you?

B (40:20)

I was going to my senior year of high school, so what that. That makes me 16 or 17.

A (40:24)

And you were, like, behaving poorly, so your parents sent you.

B (40:26)

I was a boy who loved pot, and my parents did not. And my dad was like, they wanted to drug test him. And I said, no. And then my dad said, I want to be in the room where it happened. The room where it happened. He literally was like, I want to see the pee come out of his penis. I don't trust this kid. He's gonna bring his friends clean urine. And I was like, you can't look at my boyfriend's penis. And my dad was like, I'm gay. My dad was like, I'm a doctor.

A (40:56)

To which I said, that's also true. That's true.

B (40:58)

Eye surgeon.

A (41:00)

It's okay. Doctors are doctors.

B (41:02)

I guess doctors are doctors. Anyway, so I just said, he's. He'll fail it. Forget it. Anyway, so they shipped me away to get away from him, where I lived in San Francisco and smoked even more marijuana.

A (41:13)

And you're. You spent. What was it? At, like, the state fair.

B (41:18)

So I worked for my uncle in his casting agency, and he said I was the worst employee ever had, and he fired me, but he said I had to work to teach me, like, life lessons, et cetera. So we got a job working at a carnival with a former employee of his who drove a 1980s teal Corvette, not in a cool way. And got her. I feel like her and her husband were pot dealers. Like, the. Like, the irony of what I was moved away from to go to. So I left pot, and I basically ended up by mistake doing meth.

A (41:48)

Can you tell everyone the story? I actually haven't heard it in a while, and it's seriously the craziest story. You're literally Leanne Locken being a carny kid.

B (41:54)

I'm a. I'm Lee and Locke and Carney kid. I'm selling paintball games at discount. What A saleswoman.

A (41:59)

I was.

B (42:00)

I sold that shit out of those games. And there were always these, like, Toothless Wonders that were, like, our carny neighbors. Okay. And so they loved me. Ugh. Of course. Hit on me. Anyway, so we were. It was the end of the carney season. I love this, like, carney graduation. And so they were like, let's go. Go into the.

A (42:29)

Okay.

B (42:29)

Let's go to the Toothless Wonders, the Toothless Twins, Winnebago, where they live, and have, like, farewell party.

A (42:38)

Like a Kiki. Yeah.

B (42:39)

So we're all sitting around, gorgeous upholstery shag rug, and I go to the fridge to get a beer, and all I know is they all go like this.

A (42:50)

None of new stuff.

B (42:51)

There was a cooler. There was a cooler full of beers. I just thought of. I go to open the fridge, they all scream, no. The next thing I know, I am outside of the Winnebago on the ground being brought back to life, and they are like. Like, we can't live there anymore. Our home is ruined. So it is my understanding that I opened their meth lab and the noxious fumes, like, literally knocked me out and I ruined her house.

A (43:32)

Like, seriously. That's what I mean when I say, Taylor Strecker has lived 100 lives. When you told me that story, I couldn't believe I'd known you for 10 years and you never told me that story. It was just so fucking funny.

B (43:46)

Thank you. Thank you.

A (43:48)

Okay, moving on. Vanderpump Rules has a new show. Like, they're starting from scratch. It's season 12. They released a trailer. There's a ton of hookers in it. I didn't know anyone. Their names are Venus Binkley, Jason Cohen, Shane Davis, Chris Hahn, Angela Angelica Jensen, Marcus Johnson, Audrey Lingle, Natalie McGuire, Demi Salem, and Kim Suarez. Yeah, they're trying something new. They're not having, like, OG cast members. No one to, like, grandfather in the. The way. I don't give a fuck, you know?

B (44:23)

Same. First off, check on Sheena. Is she okay that she's not, like, cast Lisa Vanderpump.

A (44:27)

Did you see that Sheena was talking about her decision to not join the Valley?

B (44:31)

Please?

A (44:32)

No, but she said, like, she actually had Alex Baskin, the producer on, to, like, sort of corroborate that. She said no, because nobody would believe it.

B (44:38)

I'm still not. I. I extra don't believe it.

A (44:41)

Do you have beef with Sheena?

B (44:45)

You know, I talked my fair share of smack back in the day when I was at Sirius, and she definitely heard because there's like an o. G reunion, like, second or third season, where she's screaming at Stassi and she's saying how Stasi talked mad on the cast. And Stassa's like, no, I didn't. And she's like, you went on. On that girl show and called me Savannah pump old.

A (45:08)

Oh, girl.

B (45:09)

We didn't.

A (45:09)

We.

B (45:10)

First of all, we didn't. Second of all, like, Sheena stops stalking me. So I will say this. Sheena definitely when we are at the same places, which is not often, but when we have been in the past, she avoids me enough that it tells me that she does know me and knows the things that I've said. Fair enough. I mean, there's been, like, back in the day, I would go to, like, I remember we had a dinner. Like, it was Stassi and Kristen and. And Katie and Sheena, and we were at the Soho house. Tay was there, and Sheena was like, she's just so pick me. And I was like, girl, we're all here. Like, everyone's sharing stories. Like, stop. Like, she. Like, when it wasn't about her, she was, like, pushing her food around on her plate, pouting. It's just not for me.

A (45:51)

I just feel like this show is also not for me. Like, I'm just a little mature. I've moved on. Like, I like the graduated shows. Like the Valley, I actually really enjoy. They said they were giving us a Stassi Schroeder reality show. I don't know if Hulu has gotten their act together. I did see Stassi posted. It looked like there was a camera crew with her in Vegas. And also my friend Taylor, who's sitting right here, seemed to have been there too.

B (46:14)

There was. I did. I saw a TMZ story that said that Stassi was filming somewhere and you were there, so.

A (46:22)

So you would know if they were filming.

B (46:25)

I don't. I didn't see myself on tmz.

A (46:28)

I did.

B (46:29)

Oh, really? What was I doing?

A (46:31)

You were dancing at the pool. Right.

B (46:37)

I.

A (46:39)

So all that to say I will not be watching this. I wish everyone the best.

B (46:44)

Yeah, listen, I do. I like Lisa Vanderpump very much so.

A (46:48)

Oh, I saw Katie and Stassi were. Sorry to cut you off. They were just hanging out.

B (46:53)

Yeah, that's what I saw on tmz. Very.

A (46:55)

Oh.

B (46:55)

Oh, it looks very exciting.

A (46:57)

Yes, it does. Wishes of weho have returned.

B (47:00)

I know, right? I love a reunion.

A (47:03)

Yeah. In terms of this. Yes, I'm all set.

B (47:06)

Yeah, I think I'm good. I Love, Lisa. So it's like, lisa, I want your show to do well because you're, you know, you're Lisa Vanderpump. Obviously, Vanderpump rules, but it's just not for me. I know the trailer came out. I just feel like it's.

A (47:16)

I don't know, it's. I feel as though we've beat this horse dead. They tried to regenerate the show many times, and I don't think it's worth saving. Like, it was a moment in time. It will never be what it was. Like, just let it be, right?

B (47:31)

It's like, yeah, I don't know. I mean, there's been so many sequels that have happened and people were like, I like, I wish. I wish Legally Blonde too didn't exist because it, like, ruined my mems. So maybe this is gonna be the same thing. Or maybe it will be amazing. I will get. I will watch the first episode that I will do.

A (47:48)

Oh, that's big of you. I won't. If it's amazing, I feel like I'll feel the pressure to watch it. And then I'll start in the middle.

B (47:54)

I'll let you know. I'll be your litmus test.

A (47:56)

Today's episode of the Toast is brought to you by Nanit. Parenthood looks a lot different today than ever before. And the tools that we have access to do also like Nanit. So think about how obvious it feels to track your own steps, your own sleep, or how you wouldn't leave your house without your phone, your smartphone. Well, it's hard to imagine parenting today without a smart baby monitor. Lets you see your baby anytime, anywhere, and so much more. I love Nanit. Oh, my God. It was like the first thing on my registry and it was the now it's the thing I buy for people most on their registry because it's such a good thing to have. I'm always checking the Nanit if you're tracking sleep. If you're in your sleep training area, you get so many good insights and statistics. I feel like, silly even doing an ad for Nanit. It's a really a product that speaks for itself. And I don't know anybody that doesn't have an ad. It is so worth the money. 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They're not one size fits all because neither are we. They have evolved. They are a personalized health solution designed to meet you where you are in life. Today. Weight Watchers combines their proven science behavior change program with new, more flexible options to make your journey more effective and sustainable. They're also like fully embracing GLP1. I'm obviously on a breastfeed journey, so I can't really lose weight and I can't really limit my calorie intake. But I do want to maintain my weight and I have been using Weight Watchers now for a few weeks just to keep track of what I'm eating to making sure I'm eating like whole and balanced meals. They have a nursing program so if you're breastfeeding, they have a postpartum program. They totally understand the different stages of womanhood and how that can affect your weight. So I really appreciate Weight Watchers like constantly evolving with the modern woman and with modern medicine. They also offer GLP1s. 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Holiday sales are the time to splurge, but you splurge on just anything you want. Products that make a real difference in your life and don't and that and that make you feel extraordinary every single day. And ever since then, we discovered Bowling Branch, which is years now. We have really become their biggest fans and we can really attest to how their bedding makes you feel so comfortable. So party. And their best sale of the year is the one that you can't miss. So we always work with Bowling Branch, but I feel like we're always hyping them up towards the holiday season because it is their biggest sale of the year. And if you're looking to do a whole bedroom refresh, if you're looking for just like a couple of bed accessories, if you're like parging up your guest room or for guests who are coming. Yeah, that's right, Jack. Some coming to town, head over to Bolland Branch. 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Today's episode is also brought to you by Roback. They just launched something so exciting. Each time they have a drop, it gets better and better. The newest addition to the women's line is the Bedford mock neck. And honestly, it is perfect for, you know, that cozy feeling while still feeling a little bit put together. It's kind of thing that you throw on for coffee for errands, for drop off and you still look like you have your life together. So the Bedford Mock Neck is selling out fast and for good reason. It is so soft it feels like pajamas, but very chic. People will stop to ask you where you got it. The gray navy colors have a very cute embroidery while the green is the most perfect shade for fall. It is cozy if cozy is your love language. Roback's entire Ready collection has you covered with buttery soft hoodies, joggers and crewnecks that make lounging to the next level. If you're also doing joggers, spring summer highly recommend. 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T O A S T for 20 off your first order through the end of this week. Happy shopping. Huge news in the music space. The music industry will never be the same because Hilary Duff reveals a countdown on her website ahead of a music comeback. So she teased a comeback and then she posted on her Instagram that she is releasing a song November 6th. It's called Mature.

B (54:05)

I'm worried about the title but I don't care.

A (54:08)

I know. Then she also posted well, not she. Jake Shane posted that he's having his season finale and it appears as though Hillary Duff is the guest that he was hinting at and he's really like the go to podcast, especially for music. I think a lot of musicians like understand his influence so that's a great place for her to go and talk about her new career. Love her husband Matthew Colma is like a digitally, not digitally a critically Acclaimed producer. So I actually do think the production value will be there.

B (54:35)

I mean, listen, she is. I am so obsessed with Hillary Duff and I'm like a late in life lesbian and a late in life Hillary Duff fan. So I'm. Because I'm old. I. She. I remember my little sister watching Lizzie McGuire.

A (54:49)

Lizzie McGuire.

B (54:50)

So it was like kids stuff. And you watch a girl. I watched Day by the Bell.

A (54:55)

Okay. I watched it on. Did they have TV when you were growing up?

B (54:59)

No, it was just pictures. I just. I just moved the picture.

A (55:02)

The radio.

B (55:03)

Yeah, no, the.

A (55:04)

We.

B (55:05)

We got the picture book right after the advent of the radio. That's beautiful. But I just like. So when I got to work for younger and I did their after show, Getting Younger.

A (55:15)

Oh, I forgot you hosted that show.

B (55:17)

I like didn't understand that Hillary Hill hysteria that existed. And I got to know her through doing the show and she is just truly the most amazing celebrity I've ever met in my entire life. She's the best. She's salt of the earth. I'm completely obsessed with her. So. And like she can like do no wrong. Like I just.

A (55:38)

Well, she did do wrong to me, but I don't want to get it.

B (55:40)

Oh my God, I forgot.

A (55:42)

You know what? I've moved on. She went on the Good Guys and Ben said the same as you that she was is amazing. Like if Hillary Duff is your hero, I think like meeting her would be above and beyond your expectations.

B (55:55)

She like, like, even I come on set, she'd be like, so how's Taylor doing? She like real. She's like a real person.

A (56:00)

I love that. That's really nice.

B (56:02)

You must have just had you better. You must met her. Like she maybe was coming down with the flu.

A (56:05)

So it. No, it was when she had brown hair.

B (56:08)

That's it.

A (56:09)

Do you remember?

B (56:09)

Like, I can.

A (56:11)

She was post. Post Disney in her pop star era. She was definitely just like a bratty. She wasn't a teenager. I think she was in her young 20s. But like, you know, she was like a. Like a starlet.

B (56:23)

Those are hard times for children stars.

A (56:26)

Yes, definitely. And I also think what you're talking about, like her humanity is a real testament to how she has maintained a good career from child to adult.

B (56:35)

Very hard.

A (56:36)

It takes. It takes a mentally tough person.

B (56:38)

Truly. I think I interviewed Justin Bieber when he was like, I'm not a widow boy. I'm a big boy. And it was a disaster.

A (56:44)

Disaster.

B (56:45)

And I talk about things that keep you up at my. Jesus Christ.

A (56:49)

Oh, that so.

B (56:50)

Yeah, I definitely. But, you know Justin. I mean, I don't know if he's thriving, but he's been through it. But, you know, he's doing. He's doing better than me.

A (57:01)

I also think, like, we don't know how Justin Bieber's doing. Like, I think everything is very much like a facade.

B (57:06)

Fair, fair, fair.

A (57:08)

Now, Taylor, you're one of my favorite people to have on, especially on a Tuesday when we do Dear Toasters, our weekly advice segment. So will you join me in helping the swirlies out there in desperate need of our help?

B (57:16)

Love, love. I mean, listen, do what I say, not what I do.

A (57:19)

Oh, of course, of course. Now, every Tuesday here at the ter, we like to give a little bit of advice to our listeners. So if you ever want to write in, please do. So head to the toastpodcast.com. there's a little submission box. Totally anonymous. Or you can just shoot us an email to your Toasters gmail.com. both methods. Totally anonymous. We'll help you out. Anything from office, workplace drama, relationship drama, wedding, family. We don't give a. All right. Hey, ladies. I'm a bridesmaid in an upcoming coming wedding for my best. What?

B (57:44)

I just love wedding drama. Go do you.

A (57:47)

Okay, so I'm gonna. I feel like you and I are gonna have different takes on this. I am a bridesmaid in an upcoming wedding for my best friend. I have a baby who will be two months old. She is exclusively breastfed and will not take a bottle. After some thinking, my friend and her soon to be husband have decided that they don't want children under 10 at the wedding, including breastfed babies. Yeah, my feelings are hurt as an exception cannot be made for my baby to be there, and therefore I'm unable to be there. Logistically, I don't think it's possible for me to be a breastfeeding mama and a bridesmaid at the same time. Am I the problem here? Is it fair for me to back out as a bridesmaid? Thanks for the help. I. I just feel like everyone's giving up, like, so quickly. There's not a solution. Doesn't have to be in attendance.

B (58:24)

They are giving up so quickly. It's like, what if. Well, listen, I don't know the ins and outs of breastfeeding, even though I took one whole class. I know that's crazy. I'm not an expert yet, but, like, I. Here's the thing. I already love this person. I love this woman, this girl, this mother, this breastfeeding mom, because she is like, you know what, these are the rules and it's just not going to work for me. So I'm just going to remove myself because there's a lot of people who make everybody else's wedding about them. Yes, yes, I suffered at the fate of that once upon a time. But we've moved on now and we're grown. But like I'm literally being triggered so hard. I'm like, don't say it. But I just feel like, you know what? Like, yeah, if you can't do something for a wedding. And like I respect so hard that she's already following the rules.

A (59:09)

Rules.

B (59:10)

So I think we're off to a grand start. I think she should go to the bride and be like, listen, I love you. Your rules are your rules. Your wedding is your wedding. I respect that shit out of you. That being said, I'm a breastfeeding mom. I have a baby who will not take a bottle. It's like an issue.

A (59:23)

So I, well, what does this bride expect you to do? I feel like the bride, like low key doesn't want you to be a bridesmaid anymore because she's literally put you in an impossible situation. Of course your baby's not going to starve. So if the baby's literally not let on the premises and you can't be there. But I don't know, this kind of sounds weird. Let's like you would try to make this work. You're also, you have a two month old. That's, that is so postpartum. The fact that you're like going to her wedding and spending the day away from your 28 weeks, like that's crazy. I don't know why. I just feel like this girl doesn't want you at her wedding because she's not being even remotely flexible. It's something. I feel like I'm missing a piece of information here.

B (59:55)

I do too. I feel like, how about this? She'll get her answer. I think she just go back and be like, respect your boundaries. Cuz every bride like loves to hear that and then say, but because of that, I don't think I can not only be a bridesmaid, but attend the wedding. But definitely not a bridesmaid because it's all day long. So just say so. Like, I'm not mad, it's all good. I'm just gonna back out if that's okay with you. And then you'll see, the bride will either be like, wait, wait, wait, I don't want that. Let's try.

A (60:23)

You're Right. She's. She's saying backing out of the bridesmaid duty, not of the wedding.

B (60:27)

Right. Because that's like a whole day long. Wrong. And then you'll see your friends like so you'll get your answer. Either should be like, okay, get the out. Or she'll be like, oh wait, let me figure out what I can do. Or fine, you're the exception to the rule, but you're a bridesmaid so we can like make it work. Her answer will tell you all you need to know about your friends.

A (60:45)

Yes, because not to be a conspiracy theorist, but just based on the information given, it's like, oh, your friend hates you.

B (60:50)

Lol. Right to the dark side. I'm as.

A (60:54)

That's just what it feels like. Like, like obviously it's her wedding and it's all about her and whatever she wants, she gets. But you can be a little bit flexible with the girl who's in your bride bridal party who had a baby eight weeks ago. Like no, no, no.

B (61:04)

You know what? You're right. This is my non mom side talking. It's like, no. Like her friend, if she's not a total self absorbed bitch, should be like.

A (61:12)

Would just make a few accommodations. Would be like.

B (61:14)

But that doesn't apply to you. I know you just had your baby, so obviously we'll work something out. Her just sending this like blanket statement rules. Yeah, you're right.

A (61:23)

Exactly.

B (61:23)

There is like a. There's a subtext to the context.

A (61:27)

It's hard not to be a conspiracy theorist. Your friend hates you.

B (61:29)

She's the worst friend ever. I hate her. I'll never talk to the again.

A (61:31)

Your husband is gay boyfriend.

B (61:33)

I know. I saw him at the gay bar the other day. He was at the other. You know what?

A (61:38)

Next. You know what? I heard you.

B (61:39)

Baby hates you too.

A (61:40)

Oh, Taylor, I'm Trevor.

B (61:42)

I thought we were joking.

A (61:44)

We are. This next one is a total 180. Okay. One of my friends has decided to introduce herself to a guy at a party in an Irish accent. She told him that she grew up in Ireland.

B (61:53)

I'm dead.

A (61:54)

She in fact did not. She studied abroad there for two months. We were just out to dinner with a group of our friends. She mentioned that she's still going on dates with this guy and they're actually getting quite serious. I didn't say anything about it because I thought maybe it was just a bit. But as we were leaving dinner, she called him and as she walked to her car, I heard her doing the accent. She's always been Kind of like a pathological liar. And I've really kept my distance from her in that aspect, but this is really out of hand. Do I confront her? Is this crazy? It is so crazy. I just want to say this girl sounds funny. I know it's, like, probably annoying to have a friend who's a pathological liar, but I respect her, like, committing to the bit. It. You definitely should have confront her, because it's, like, literally none of your business. Who cares if she's, like, lying to this random guy? But it's a funny story. Like, I'm cracking.

B (62:32)

She's fun. I like her. I want to hang out with her.

A (62:34)

Let's.

B (62:35)

Let's bring her out with the swirlies.

A (62:37)

Do you know anyone? Do you have, like, a friend in your life who you know is just, like, a fucking liar? Like, everything that comes out of their mouth is a true lie?

B (62:43)

Yes, yes, yes, yes. And this person I knew and loved, and then we kind of had a falling out. And then anybody that would listen to me, I was like, she's a liar. She's a liar. She told a lie about me that was so crazy. Like, truly, like, made me question her mental health. Like, it was. She made it up out of thin air. It was based in absolute.

A (63:05)

No truth, no fact. Yeah. But it's very freeing when you realize that about someone that, like, everything they say is a lie. But it's hard to get, like, other people to believe you.

B (63:13)

But. But we reconnected, and she's awesome, and, like, I don't even care because she's just.

A (63:18)

Oh, by the way. Wait, no. So she totally did the thing that you totally did that.

B (63:23)

No, I did not.

A (63:24)

Yes, you did.

B (63:24)

No, and no.

A (63:25)

Because how could you forgive someone like that?

B (63:26)

Because she's so fun, and we never do.

A (63:29)

I know this person, by the way.

B (63:30)

You do not know this person. But she. And we've actually never talked about that part of it, but I'm willing to let it go because I think that she was in a momentary.

A (63:39)

Like, I think that she became a psychosis.

B (63:41)

Yes. Because she was dating somebody who made her insane. And so I actually don't take it personally. So you know what? I walked that back. I don't think she's a liar. She did lie on me, but I think it was just extenuating circumstances.

A (63:53)

Okay. You say you can hold grudges, but you really don't because that's a very healed thing for you to say. Now you blaming her boyfriend.

B (64:00)

Like, I blame him for everything to the day I die.

A (64:03)

I'm sorry. Just this girl walking to her car and putting on a fake Irish accent for her man. Like, you know what? It's hard to get a guy and sometimes you have to spruce up your personality. You know, we all, we all act differently on a date. You know, we talk a little bit more proper and we sit a little bit straighter. So she's pretending to be Irish. You know what? I commend her because, you know, to get married these days, you have to be really committed and you have to put your best foot forward.

B (64:27)

Yeah.

A (64:27)

And you know what? I respect it.

B (64:30)

It's giving Hilaria Baldwin.

A (64:32)

It is giving Eladia.

B (64:34)

Sometimes you have to be interesting for your man's. If you want to, you know, if you want to catch him, if you want to make him Mary's you.

A (64:39)

And you know what? While she did have a momentary cancellation, she's doing better than ever. Hilarious. So I feel like we're gonna see this Irish girl on Dancing with a Star.

B (64:47)

The fraudulent Irish girl.

A (64:49)

The fraudulent Irishman. Our third and final is a little bit of, like, weight related, which I think we're both really experts on.

B (64:58)

Yes.

A (64:59)

Hey, Claude and Jax. I'm a long time listener in desperate need of advice. My mother in law loves to buy me clothes just because was. Normally I would consider this a sweet gesture. However, each item of clothing is hideous and it's always a size extra small or small, despite my mother in law knowing I'm a medium slash large. My whole life I've told her this many times. Each time she gives me these clothes, it's in a group setting. And each time I hold up the item and check the tag, she always announces, now, sweetie, I couldn't remember what size you were, so I got two of them. Just let me know if you need the bigger size and I can return this one. It's such a move. It makes me want to crawl out of my skin. I just graduated law school and pass the bar exam. I'm trying to lose that extra weight I gained during that stressful time. And my mother in law's comments really make me want to die. My husband says I'm thinking too much into this and that my mother in law is just trying to be nice, but I've always been a bigger girl and I have to admit, I can't fit into a size extra small. Small to a whole table of people is embarrassing. I feel like it's intentional. Am I crazy or is my mother in law totally trying to fat shame me? What do I do?

B (65:51)

Please help Your mother in law is crazy. She's the incarnate.

A (65:55)

And your. Your husband's an asshole.

B (65:57)

Totally. Oh, of course. Course she's not doing that. Shut up.

A (66:01)

Right? Shut up. And here's the thing. We have to. This woman is hurting you, right? She's embarrassing you. She's making you. And I just want to be clear. Yes, she maybe doesn't know your weight, but if you said, like, you're an oversized. Not oversized. Sorry, you said a heavier sized girl. And her buying an extra small. Everybody knows when you buy a gift for somebody, like, if you want it to fit you, you just go bigger. And you don't even talk about the size. You just like, give it to them. Your mother in law's a. Your husband's an asshole. This is 100% intentional. And we have to, to. We have to get her back. Like, sorry, if Jackie were here, she would be like, well, maybe now, now we have to get this woman back. And here's what you do.

B (66:33)

Okay?

A (66:33)

Because she, like, buys two sizes. Yeah. And this woman's like, clearly spending a lot of money. Let her. Okay, here's what, here's what you do. You're going to donate the clothes you're throwing away. Don't give her the other size. Like, let her keep spending money. Be like, yeah, I love it. More, more, more. Let her run up a big fat ass bill. Meanwhile, you're sell it poshmark.

B (66:50)

Start a poshmark release art. That's what I did. I had somebody who I used to know, okay, I'm gonna lay it there. And they got me an extra small bikini. Everyone knows you size up. Okay.

A (67:04)

And I mean, I don't know that because I don't wear bikinis, but good to know.

B (67:07)

And. Well, I never wore it because it didn't fit my goddamn. It didn't even fit my finger. And she also made a comment of like, I heard that when you wear bikinis that are smaller, it makes you look thinner.

A (67:19)

She said, who is this bitch girl?

B (67:22)

And I was like, you are setting me up. And then every time I saw her that summer, why did she wear the bikini? Why aren't you in the bikini? Why don't you wear the bikini? Psychotic hose beast. So, no, I literally, this happened to me. And the girl was being mean. She also said to me, and I quote, one time I wore a short dress. I'm very insecure about my legs. I do not like my knees. I never show my legs. And I literally was hashtag brave one day and wore a dress at Jack Just skimmed my knees. And she said, oh, my God, look at you. I never see you in short things. And that was it. No, like, and you look great. So I'm telling you, these people exist. They walk the earth.

A (67:56)

Yes. And they have to be stabbed back the way they're stabbing you. Here's another idea. She's always buying you gifts. Why don't you buy her something?

B (68:03)

Yeah, buy her something triggering in.

A (68:05)

In an offensive size.

B (68:06)

Correct.

A (68:07)

Yeah. Be like, oh, I thought this fit you great. And it's. I like. And like, it's big.

B (68:11)

Give her a taste of her own.

A (68:13)

She's a. And honestly, like, your husband's really pissing me off. Like, I know it's not his fault, but, like, the fact that he's not. Hashtag believing women.

B (68:20)

No, he has to. You have to believe the victim. You must.

A (68:23)

Yeah. You have to play this episode for him because, like, he doesn't get it. And I understand. He's not a woman. He doesn't understand, like, the trauma and the generational trauma that comes with sizing. And, like, when you see a tag, like, you're automatically transported to, like, sweating in a dressing room. Like, it's very triggering. He maybe doesn't get it. It. But the fact that, like, he's now gaslighting you and you're like, wait, am I crazy? No, you're 100% valid.

B (68:43)

Well, I think that the way you get back at her is you force him into therapy. Thank you so much, mother in law, for the excuse. And then you make him hate her.

A (68:50)

Ha. Oh, love that. But that's like, that's kind of. That's playing the long term. That doesn't happen overnight, right?

B (68:59)

Yeah, I'm good at that.

A (69:01)

Yeah. You do need to start planting seeds, though, because you need to start making. Actually, you know what? I'm a boy mom now. Mom and I see things differently. And I would never encourage somebody to.

B (69:10)

But you would never do that.

A (69:12)

I don't know. Like, I remember when Jackie became a mom and she started doing Dear Toasters, you know, she started changing her tune a little bit and she. She stopped siding so much with the daughter in law's writing in. You know, she'd be like, but maybe.

B (69:24)

Wait, wait, did you see the girlfriend? Did you see the girlfriend that I did. Whose side were you on?

A (69:32)

Depends. Like, you know, who are you asking? Mama turd?

B (69:35)

I'm asking her wife. Turd turdy. Lou Freebush.

A (69:39)

Turtle Freebush is a mama. And I'll leave you with that. Okay.

B (69:46)

It's hard to pick cherry side but cherry. Yeah, cherry.

A (69:52)

Guys, give it up for Taylor Strecker. Absolutely. Always crushing. Thank you so much for doing this. I'm sure you'll be back during the maternity leave. I to do follow Taylor on Instagram Weekly Daily Show Weekly Podcast Taste of Taylor thank you A Dear Media podcast thank you so much Taylor. And thank you guys for listening to the Toast and Monday morning show where we deliver the fastest stories engine on Monday through Friday and YouTube. If you're watching us on YouTube please subscribe this video a thumbs up. We're also available as podcast anywhere Podcast we found out Spotify, G Sister Public Radio I already cast box all the places we listen to podcast Vanessa Toast Leave a five star review about a beautiful, studying and wickedly talented. We are. We love you and we will see you tomorrow. Bye.