CMA Sabotage: Thursday, November 21st, 2024

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Toast – CMA Sabotage

Episode Information

• Title: The Toast
• Hosts: Jackie & Claudia Oshry
• Episode: CMA Sabotage: Thursday, November 21st, 2024
• Release Date: November 21, 2024

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1. Personal Updates and Morning Banter

In the episode's opening, Jackie and Claudia share light-hearted conversations about their daily lives, emphasizing their unplanned and spontaneous approach to fashion. Jackie humorously remarks, “We literally show up looking like rats in sweatpants. Like, why would we plan that?” (00:23). The hosts also touch upon personal challenges, including Jackie’s discomfort with her current bra situation and the adjustments she's making during her pregnancy.

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2. CMA Awards Recap and Critique

Hosts' Initial Impressions

Jackie and Claudia express their disappointment with the recent CMA Awards, highlighting various aspects they found lacking. Jackie states, “We're always gassing up the country music industry... This is how it's done. Grammys, take note,” (05:09), setting the stage for their critical analysis.

Performances

• Post Malone and Chris Stapleton: The show kicked off with a performance by Post Malone and Chris Stapleton, which the hosts found satisfactory but noted some technical issues. Claudia mentions, “They sounded good,” (24:47), while Jackie adds, “Post Malone did not sound good in the opening either,” (28:43).

• Luke Combs: Celebrated as a standout performer, Jackie praises Luke, clarifying, “I'm not talking about Luke Combs because, like, I would not,” (05:48), and later acknowledges his powerful performance despite not winning major awards.

• Ella Langley: Claudia and Jackie laud Ella Langley’s performance, with Claudia describing her as “one of the best performers” (25:50) and Jackie noting, “she needs to get married,” (25:50) reflecting their admiration.

• Casey Musgraves: The duo appreciates Casey Musgraves’ return to country music, noting her song “Architect” as a highlight. Claudia remarks, “Her performance spoke for itself,” (26:37) while Jackie emphasizes, “I think she makes her best music when she's not trying to be something that she's not,” (26:43).

• Jelly Roll and Keith Urban: They commend Jelly Roll's weight loss transformation and his collaboration with Keith Urban, describing it as “the only song from the evening that I've now added to my Spotify,” (30:05).

Award Outcomes

• Male Vocalist of the Year: Chris Stapleton emerges as a significant winner. Jackie voices her frustration, stating, “They went out of their way not to give Shibuzi any awards,” (31:24), pointing out perceived biases within the CMA.

• Entertainer of the Year: Surprisingly awarded to Morgan Wallen, who was absent from the ceremony. Claudia observes, “Morgan Wallen, who was not there,” (31:27), and Jackie reflects on the legitimacy of the choice despite her personal preference for Luke Combs.

• New Artist of the Year: Megan Maroney wins, edging out Shabuzi and others. Claudia expresses satisfaction, “I was so happy to see her win,” (38:07), while Jackie remains defensive of Shabuzi’s deservingness.

• Album of the Year: Awarded to Cody Johnson’s “Leather,” which Jackie questions, “I don't think any of these albums were the album of the year,” (34:20), indicating disagreements with the selection.

• Female Vocalist of the Year: Laney Wilson takes the award, with Jackie and Claudia showing mixed feelings about her dominance in the category.

Technical Issues and Overall Show Quality

The hosts criticize technical glitches during performances, particularly affecting artists like Shabuzi and Post Malone. Jackie laments, “These performances were so off,” (28:29), and Claudia agrees, noting, “the production was bigger than the song,” (29:34). They argue that these issues detracted from the overall quality of the night, making it “country music's not the best night” (38:21).

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3. Entertainment News and Industry Insights

Upcoming Projects

• Anne Hathaway in "Verity": Claudia shares excitement about Anne Hathaway starring in an Amazon MGM adaptation of Colleen Hoover’s bestseller, “Verity.” Both hosts discuss Hathaway’s suitability for the role and the potential impact of the film.

• Coachella 2025 Lineup: The hosts delve into the announced lineup, highlighting headliners like Lady Gaga, Green Day, and Post Malone. They express concerns about Travis Scott's involvement in designing the festival, with Jackie humorously advising listeners to “Run for your life,” (45:17).

• Suits LA Spin-Off: Gabriel Macht reprises his role as Harvey Specter in the new spin-off “Suits LA.” Jackie and Claudia debate the potential success of the series, referencing past spin-offs like “Pearson.”

Celebrity Ventures

• Chrissy Teigen’s Podcast: The hosts critique Chrissy Teigen’s new wellness podcast, “Self Conscious,” arguing that the mission statement doesn’t align with her personality. Jackie suggests, “Every podcast has the same mission,” (57:41), emphasizing the importance of authentic content.

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4. Dear Toasters: Listener Advice

In the advice segment, listeners submit personal dilemmas for Jackie and Claudia to address.

A. Navigating Friendships and Boundaries

A listener recounts a situation where a friend in child protective services suggested she might have autism. Jackie and Claudia discuss the appropriateness of such unsolicited diagnoses, with Claudia affirming, “It's a very fair boundary,” (64:16).

B. Marital Boundaries and Personal Comfort

Another listener shares discomfort with her husband allowing his sister to massage him during a family gathering. The hosts debate the boundaries within relationships, with Claudia asserting, “Listen, not everyone has to show you every crevice of themselves,” (66:37).

C. Relationship Priorities

A third submission involves a wife concerned about her husband ranking her as the seventh priority in his life. Jackie and Claudia discuss the implications of such a ranking, emphasizing the importance of mutual respect and prioritization in marriages.

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5. Concluding Thoughts

Throughout the episode, Jackie and Claudia maintain a candid and humorous tone, blending personal anecdotes with critical industry analysis. Their discussions reflect a blend of personal experiences and professional insights, offering listeners both entertainment and thoughtful commentary on the country music scene and broader entertainment news.

Notable Quotes:

• “We literally show up looking like rats in sweatpants. Like, why would we plan that?” – Claudia (00:29)
• “This is how it's done. Grammys, take note.” – Claudia (05:09)
• “The Brezza machines... emblematic of the baby consumerism industry.” – Jackie (14:24)
• “Chris Stapleton was the big winner... They went out of their way not to give Shabuzi any awards.” – Jackie (31:24)
• “We need to start poisoning this man so that...” – Jackie (72:15)

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Timestamp References:

• 00:23 – Fashion discussion
• 05:09 – Introduction to CMA critique
• 14:24 – Discussion on baby products
• 24:47 – Performances overview
• 28:29 – Critique on Post Malone's performance
• 31:24 – Awards fairness
• 38:07 – New Artist of the Year
• 45:17 – Coachella lineup concerns
• 57:41 – Chrissy Teigen's podcast critique
• 64:16 – Listener advice on boundaries
• 66:37 – Marital boundaries discussion
• 72:15 – Advice on relationship priorities

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This comprehensive summary captures the essence of "The Toast" episode titled "CMA Sabotage," highlighting the hosts' personal anecdotes, critical analysis of the CMA Awards, entertainment news, and listener advice segments.

Transcript

[Claudia]

Good morning, millennials.

[Jackie]

Welcome back to the toast and happy Thursday. That feels like a Friday, because we're celebrating. Hey, Jax, how you doing?

[Claudia]

I'm Dur. I'm Dern, actually.

[Jackie]

Okay, Laura.

[Claudia]

The ladies in blue today.

[Jackie]

Okay, Laura.

[Claudia]

I feel like people wouldn't believe us when we say that we don't plan our outfits. We are just so simpatico that, like.

[Jackie]

I actually think people would believe it. We literally show up looking like rats in sweatpants. Like, why would we plan that?

[Claudia]

Plan matching. Like, yesterday, we were of the same elk. The day before, we were wearing cream sweaters and leggings. Today, we're both wearing blue. When do we ever wear blue?

[Jackie]

There's just, like, at least for me, like, a really limited amount of clothes that I'm willing to put on my body. So it couldn't be anything other than accidental, but it's always.

[Claudia]

It's just to say we are simpatico. Now.

[Jackie]

I just want to get out ahead of some of, you know, the drama, letting everyone know the good guys were using my studio yesterday. So if this episode never makes it to air, that's why.

[Claudia]

Okay, what were they doing in there?

[Jackie]

Just being good.

[Claudia]

Did they have a guest or something?

[Jackie]

They did, actually. They did.

[Claudia]

Do you want to spoil it and just, like, ruin their show? And they're surprised kind of, but I can't remember now. I want to know who.

[Jackie]

I can't remember their name. But Ben was, like, obsessed. I'm, like, in this very sort of territorial era. I don't know if it's, like, the hormones, but, like, anytime Ben's texting someone, I'm like, who's your girlfriend? Like, and I'm really. And he's like. He talks to a lot of people, and now he's only. There are certain people. The other day, he's, like, giggling in the bed, texting someone. I'm like, who you text? He says, alex Gornicelli. Oh, now Alex Gurdonicelli is in the list of approved people Ben can talk to because, you know, she's married. She doesn't seem romantically interested in Ben, so I'll allow it.

[Claudia]

Everyone else, got to keep your eyes wide open.

[Jackie]

Everyone who else Ben talks to is lesbian. Like, he's literally only allowed to talk to lesbians. I believe the guest on the podcast yesterday was lesbian. I said, that's fine. He has been texting a lot with Wishbone Kitchen because they're, like, doing a collab, and Ben is so excited about it, and, like, he ends up talking about this other Woman. And she's on my list now, even though she's a toaster, so she is approved. Although she's not a lesbian. She is a toaster, and she's in a relationship, so I'll allow it. He was talking to this other girl.

[Claudia]

I guess what happens when he's, like, in all these female spaces?

[Jackie]

Yes, yes.

[Claudia]

He's got a lot of female podcasting.

[Jackie]

Cooking, and he was talking to this other girl yesterday, and I'm like, who's that? He was like, she's a lesbian. Don't worry. Like, he's just talking to a lot of bitches.

[Claudia]

Or is she by Claudia? It's a spectrum.

[Jackie]

No, no, she's lesbian.

[Claudia]

One day here, next day there.

[Jackie]

And of course, you know, because I said this last week, nobody believes I have so many friends who are lesbians. The Taylors are always like, he's always texting Taylor. And I'm like, that's fine. That's fine.

[Claudia]

Yeah, that's completely approved.

[Jackie]

And I'm just like, I'm in a special type of mood today on the way to work. Like, my body started to break down. I'm not wearing the right bra. I can. Like, putting on a bra with, like, clasps and cups is so not in the wheelhouse of things I'm capable of doing. Like, I couldn't possibly fathom, like, putting on a regular bra and clipping it in the bottom.

[Claudia]

Just wait till you have to get the bra extender. What's that where it, like, extends? It's a. It clasps to the clasp, and it gives you a few more inches, and then it clasps to the other side.

[Jackie]

Okay. I don't think I'm gonna be needing those because I.

[Claudia]

You're not gonna be wearing bra.

[Jackie]

I will not be wearing. And so I bought these bras on Amazon that I really. Actually, when I was at your house, I was having so much trouble with bras. I just, like, ordered some shit on Amazon that would come the next. They're like, you know, a cross between a sports bra, but, like, a stretchy relaxation bra, comfort. And they're nice, but every time I wear them for, like, more than a day, they lose their, like, grip on me.

[Claudia]

So they're disposable.

[Jackie]

So I'm walking to work today, and, like, my tits are seriously hitting my knees. Like, there is no support in this bra. My back was killing me. I get to work, I literally took a ponytail, and I like, bunched up a lot of the extra material of the bra in the back. And, like, I Have a halter bra on now. And if you see my bra straps, like, through my sweater, I don't want to hear it.

[Claudia]

Like, do you own the bra that I have that you fell in love with this summer?

[Jackie]

Clasps. I'm seriously not doing it.

[Claudia]

Yes. Clasp.

[Jackie]

Asking a pregnant woman to clasp her own bra. Like, no, no. I'm only looking for over, like, over.

[Claudia]

The head bras and over the head situation.

[Jackie]

Situation. Yeah. It's kind of. It's been plaguing me. Like, I love the skims bralettes, but I. I'm at a place now where I need a little bit more support.

[Claudia]

And the. The rib, like, the elastic on the rib cage is tight because it's very supportive.

[Jackie]

Doesn't bother me.

[Claudia]

I couldn't. I couldn't go for that tightness.

[Jackie]

I'm really struggling. Although this halter scrunchie situation I've got going on feels amazing. I'm also using a heating pad. Like, I'm just. I'm. I'm in the. This. The phase of breaking down and from a physical perspective and just know if I've got a little extra edge today. That's why.

[Claudia]

That's why for Jackson Claude.

[Jackie]

And like, I already was feeling edgy because I was gathering my thoughts about the CMA Awards and they're all negative. And so I was. I just started off the day and, like, a really negative mode.

[Claudia]

Understood. I feel really fair about going in on the CMAs like we're about to today because we're always gassing up the country music industry. Like, we're always. Every award show, we're like, this is how it's done. Grammys, take note. Last night, my ears were bleeding. I don't know what I was watching. I was. But weirdly, I watched from start to finish. I just liked, like, being sat in a part of something and I was looking for something.

[Jackie]

I can watch you. Cable is where it's at.

[Claudia]

It just, like, worked for my schedule last night. Plus the commercials, as you said. But we need to talk about that because it was not good.

[Jackie]

I'm assuming that'll be our first story. I have such nasty things to say about the production, about the talent, about the awards, about the outfits. Like, seriously. I completely agree. We're always gassing them up. And I have the, like, most criticisms I've ever had for an award show that I. Yeah. And I didn't even make it more than halfway because I fell asleep at like, 9:30. I saw what I needed to see. And I just want to say all of my critiques. Just note, I am obviously not talking about Luke Combs because, like, I would not.

[Claudia]

Obviously not, because he saved the show with his presence, and he keep chasing.

[Jackie]

That same old devil.

[Claudia]

Devil. If you hear that opening intro and you're not lit up, Jackie, I think you're not alive. Twisters.

[Jackie]

Like, just to see the song in action, I guess.

[Claudia]

I guess.

[Jackie]

We love that song, Oklahoma by Luke Combs. He played it when we saw him at MetLife, and it was so good. He was so good last night, like, so just know when I'm slamming the country music community. This afternoon, today, whenever. Just know I'm not talking about my king, Luke Holmes. I wouldn't touch a hair on his face.

[Claudia]

And they didn't give him any awards. Those disgusting animals.

[Jackie]

I'm assuming that's our lead story.

[Claudia]

It is CMA's recap, plus awards, plus moments. So we'll get into that in the first story. I don't want to put the cart before the horse, as they say.

[Jackie]

I am experiencing something.

[Claudia]

Or as we would say, the curt before the horse.

[Jackie]

We would say the Kurt before the hurt. I'm experiencing something. You know, I don't know if I've ever said this on the podcast, but I never lived alone or, like, even not alone. Like, I never lived, like, with friends. Like, I went from living, you know, at the house we grew up in. I stayed there for, like, a little bit longer than I should have, and then I ended up moving in with Ben. So I never had, like, an adult apartment that was my own, you know, my own space, even with roommates. And so when Ben goes away on work trips, I like to larp that I'm, like, a single gal. Like, and, like, this is my apartment, and it's really interesting to see how clean I can maintain a space for X amount of time. And so we have our apartment. We have a housekeeper come once a week, and it's, like, the best day of my life. And I always try to maintain as many days of that freshness, but, you know, I live with Ben, so if he cooks dinner, like, we're back at square one. Now I'm just like, my apartment was just cleaned, and I'm like, a single gal living in New York City. And every time I, you know, use a dish, it gets cleaned immediately and put it away. And, like, all the clothes go in the laundry. And I hate being by myself because, like, I miss Ben, and I just, like, hate being alone. But I'm kind of loving this, like, single gal era. I'M currently in.

[Claudia]

You're finding the joy in it. That's good because that's always been your least favorite, but now, like, you're seeing the plus side.

[Jackie]

No, I literally, like, act like I'm a girl, like, who's, like, going on dates. Like, stop.

[Claudia]

She's gonna download him.

[Jackie]

No, literally, I'm just, like, single and like. Yeah, this is my house. I live here by myself and, like. Yeah, I do all the dishes.

[Claudia]

You want to come over for drinks?

[Jackie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's so, like. It's so mature, you know?

[Claudia]

It is mature.

[Jackie]

So my house. Nice. My house has never been so clean, and I love it.

[Claudia]

That's really scary because your house is always so clean.

[Jackie]

That's really nice of you to say. It's not.

[Claudia]

Oh, my God. What are you talking about? Like, you. There's not a speck of dust. Like, nothing. Everything's, like, in a cabinet. You don't let.

[Jackie]

That's so.

[Claudia]

That's seriously so nice. Yeah, it's on another level of cleanliness. Like, we. It really is. I feel like. I feel like I've given up trying to, like, achieve that because I'm just like. She's just like, turbo sweeper. Like, her house is just.

[Jackie]

My God. I know that you notice that's so.

[Claudia]

Clear and clean and under control. Yeah.

[Jackie]

My house is clean and clear and under control.

[Claudia]

And it just goes to show that opposite to track, because Ben is the exact polar opposite of you.

[Jackie]

He's getting worse. He's really just. I can't.

[Claudia]

Like, I'm curious to see. When you have a baby, like, they just come with so much stuff, and I'm. I'm looking forward to seeing, like, what you do with that stuff because I know you're not going to want to look at it.

[Jackie]

You know, a lot of. I'm so glad you just brought that up because that's. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I scared you.

[Claudia]

Like, it was loud. I scared by your microphone.

[Jackie]

I just shot my phone. Give me two seconds.

[Claudia]

And, like, I thought the yogurt might go flying.

[Jackie]

I thought the yogurt was going to go flying, too.

[Claudia]

That would just be so smelly for days. But it didn't.

[Jackie]

No, no, no. We're all good. I'm so glad you brought that up because a lot of people, like, are asking me questions, you know, like, are you nervous? Yada. And I'm not. I feel, like, really excited. The one thing that's giving me, like, a little bit of a pit is I feel I'm going to Lose control of my home and the order of things. And you know, I don't like clutter, but the baby brezza and the bottles, like, I'm worried about clutter. I'm worried about, like, dishes. I'm worried about just like an influx of laundry. Like, that is definitely something. Like, that's my number. I know. It's so up. Like, that's my number one concern.

[Claudia]

No, I feel like you'll get the. The brezza is so ugly. Like, they've got to do something about it. It needs to come in like a little Mackenzie Mackenzie Childers box.

[Jackie]

Whatever happened to a dishwasher? Like, you will not ever be able to explain to me why I can't just wash a bottle in the dishwasher.

[Claudia]

You can. You can. But how many times you rush your run your dishwasher? Once a day?

[Jackie]

No, like once a week.

[Claudia]

Right. The bottles, we probably at peak. Like when they're only on bottles and not food. We're probably running that bread like three or four times a day. And it's a smaller thing than a whole ass dishwasher.

[Jackie]

But it's a dishwasher. Like, I don't want to get a brezza.

[Claudia]

Dishwasher would suffice. Yes.

[Jackie]

Oh, it would.

[Claudia]

Yeah. I don't see why not.

[Jackie]

Oh, purge. Okay.

[Claudia]

But then also, like, the brezza dries them too. You don't want the bottle. I hate that drying rack, so. And things come out of the dishwasher still wet. So you put it on the drying rack to, like, dry out.

[Jackie]

Yeah. You know, this. See these conversations like this actually get. Makes me anxious and like, nervous. These conversations also.

[Claudia]

But I feel like the dishes and the laundry, like, you'll. That'll become part of your routine. Like, that's not the issue. It's like the stuff like the mats.

[Jackie]

Matt stroller. Where do people who live in New York City and by the way, my neighbors better get with it because that stroller staying in the hallway.

[Claudia]

Yeah. The thing is, I used to like, feel like, oh, I don't want to see all this, like, kids stuff. I thought that's how I was going to feel. I wouldn't want to like, buy all this stuff. I don't want to see it. But like, eventually by the time I got to the place where I was buying that stuff, like, looking at it brought me joy. Now I don't think that's what's going to happen for.

[Jackie]

So a lot of people are like, is Claudia going to move to the suburbs? Is she going to move. And if there's anything that's going to push me, it's not going to be my family. It's going to be the fact that I have no place to hide all of that ugly shit. That is what's going to put me over the edge.

[Claudia]

Yeah. Elbow room.

[Jackie]

And we talked about that. So yesterday, Jackie and I dropped an episode on our Patreon. I want to talk about Patreon really quickly because two things. Exciting. One, I just got an email that we've been actually asking Patreon to do this for a while. You can now buy Patreon gift cards, like for the holidays. If there's someone in your life who's always using your Patreon account, you can actually give them the gift of Patreon and sign them up with their email and you pay for it. So if you go to patreon.com, there are now gift cards, which I think is amazing. And like, with the holiday season, I wanted to let everyone know that. And two, we just dropped a brand new episode. Like a big Q and A about, like everything pregnancy wise. Like, from a lot of people want to know if I'm moving to Florida. I am not. Like, stop saying it. I'm not trying to conceive journey conception. So I think we really covered everything that we had wanted to.

[Claudia]

It's a video question set and audio.

[Jackie]

Episode on patreon.com the toast. And yeah, that's what I wanted to say.

[Claudia]

Yeah. No, so I guess the only question we didn't get to is, like, how do you feel about the incoming clutter?

[Jackie]

I could do a whole episode about that because I seriously feel really bad about it. Like, I feel scared and like, where are my minimalist mamas? Like, I know. Okay, so, and so you always are saying, like, the cave women did it. They didn't have a baby, Brad. So, like, why do I need all this stuff? Like, are there mamas who just don't. Like, I'm going to be the. It's like the de influencer, non consumer mama.

[Claudia]

Okay, well, the cave women didn't have formula and bottles, so they just breastfed and they didn't have dishes. If you want to strictly breastfeed, you don't need to get a brezza.

[Jackie]

Okay. By the way, now not enough people talk about how that is definitely a check in the column for breastfeeding. I don't know if I'm going to be able to, but I'm going to try super hard.

[Claudia]

Just no bottles, no pumping, no dishes.

[Jackie]

Oh, because that pump is so big and ugly. Yeah.

[Claudia]

No taking the bottle with you on ice, wherever you want to go. Just whip it out. Whip it.

[Jackie]

Yeah, Whip it good.

[Claudia]

Whip it real good.

[Jackie]

Not enough people talk about that.

[Claudia]

Yeah. It's a major key. So that's what the cave women did. But then also, when you want to be, like, a minimalist mama, then you have to just, like, be cautious of, like, sad, beige territory.

[Jackie]

Yeah, yeah.

[Claudia]

Because the children do need colors.

[Jackie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Claudia]

At some point, first they can only see black and white anyway. But, like, eventually they need their primaries, and you're gonna have to see that red, yellow, blue. Roy G. Biv in your house.

[Jackie]

I don't. By the way, I happen to love the rainbow. Like, I love color. Even though, like, my design palette for my home is very much, like, neutrals and a splash of emerald. I happen to love the rainbow. I think it's so beautiful. And, like, I love colors. Like, I'm not put off. I just mean, like, in the kitchen, the common spaces. Like, the brezza. The Reza, for me is emblematic of, like, the baby consumerism industry and how it's like, oh, it's gotten a little too far. I saw a machine that I think it's also made by baby brezza. So sorry for, like, dragging them, but I couldn't believe how stupid this was. Like, that puts the formula and the water together for you.

[Claudia]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

Like, bitch, it's a scoop and a bottle of water. Like, that's like that. To me, it's consumerism at its finest.

[Claudia]

People love that thing. But I've also heard some bad stories about that thing where they've malfunctioned and they're not putting enough formula powder formula in the bottle. And, like, babies were, like, hungry. The clinical term is called, like, they're not thriving when they're, like, not gaining enough weight and, like, developing. And it was because of those brezza machines.

[Jackie]

So if you follow the Turdy's anti consumerism baby mama journey, that you won't have these problems.

[Claudia]

Just shake it.

[Jackie]

Just like that.

[Claudia]

To me, how to say I never had one.

[Jackie]

And I guess, like, if I had the biggest house in the world, like, seriously, the biggest house, and I needed to fill it up with stuff, and I had unlimited money and unlimited space. All right, maybe I would get it.

[Claudia]

You would get an espresso for your.

[Jackie]

Formula, But I actually wouldn't because I feel like it takes longer to make the bottle. Like, and the kid is screaming and I'm hungry. Shake it. I'd be like, ben, what are you doing? He's like, I'm using the machine. Why? He, like. Do you know what I mean?

[Claudia]

Yeah. No, you're, like, standing there waiting.

[Jackie]

Yeah. Oh, my God. To me, like, that machine is emblematic of really what's wrong with, like, the baby industry and exploiting mothers.

[Claudia]

Honestly, I agree, but I just want to let you know, like, people love it.

[Jackie]

All right, sound off in the comments, you guys. Do I need one? No, no.

[Claudia]

Shake it.

[Jackie]

No. Yeah. So how do we get here? Oh, yeah, my back hurts. That's. That's what I'm dealing with.

[Claudia]

So, yeah, I guess the thing is.

[Jackie]

Actually, I don't know if I'm, like, going to be able to breastfeed, but I fucking better because I put off a breast reduction and lift seriously, for 10 years because I'm like, what if I want to breastfeed my kids? And if it turns out that I can't, and I could have had perky little tits ten years ago. Mad. I be so mad.

[Claudia]

Yeah, a lot of things. There's a lot of things that you can do to troubleshoot.

[Jackie]

Just sounds like more jobs, more work.

[Claudia]

Yeah, it's. That's really so hard.

[Jackie]

Yeah, I know. I spoke to Chantal.

[Claudia]

Good. She needs to. Yeah. I mean, but for some people, it just comes really eas Most natural thing in the world.

[Jackie]

Yeah, well, so there. That's what we were saying. There are girls who, like, you know, pregnancy is lovely and boobies produce milk at no challenge. I have come to terms with the fact, like, I will literally never be one of those girls. And that's okay, everybody. Not everyone's as funny and beautiful as me. Like, we all have been dealt different cards in life.

[Claudia]

Singing voice. I mean, that's a couple. That's a couple chips.

[Jackie]

I. I couldn't ask for anything more, so I can't complain. But I need to know, like, I can't go into it being like, oh, yeah, I'll be one of those girls. I'm not. Yeah, I'm not one of them girls. Where was Lee Bryce last night?

[Claudia]

Not there. Not there. Singing Summer of Us and that's why the show stunk. So let's get into our CMA recap and the Fast 5 stories.

[Jackie]

Without further ado and dear toasters, we will do it today.

[Claudia]

And. And how many do we have?

[Jackie]

I have a few. I have to sift through them. I want the best. The creme, the cream to rise. So just stay tuned for that.

[Claudia]

Love it. I really didn't like my segue so like, yeah, like ta da.

[Jackie]

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[Claudia]

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[Jackie]

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[Claudia]

Thank you.

[Jackie]

What can I.

[Claudia]

Thank you, Turt. Happening now, say, except dirt.

[Jackie]

Happening now.

[Claudia]

Our first. First.

[Jackie]

Oh, my God, she's emotional.

[Claudia]

Address the frog every time. Like, my frog and I are embarrassed. But first story. CMA Awards 2024 recap winners, performances. Where do we want to start? Let's start with the beginning, which were the hosts?

[Jackie]

Oh, I was unoffended by them.

[Claudia]

So unfunny and, like, not charming or enjoyable but not offensive.

[Jackie]

They were not offensive. And I. I did think. I'm like, damn, what is Peyton Manning running from? Like, the man says yes to everything. And he's such a legend. And the way they talk about him, you would never know because he's at the opening of every envelope. And he doesn't need to be doing things like this. Like, he's seriously, like, a decorated hall of fame. He still does football stuff. People love that. Him and Eli do, like, t ESPN recap, whatever. So every time I see him in last night, I was like, he's working so hard. Why? Why? Like, go home. Like, go be a dad. Like, I was seriously, like, kind of judging. I'm like, get out of here.

[Claudia]

Maybe he's like a shopaholic and he has, like, a very high credit card bill and he needs to work really hard to sustain his level of living.

[Jackie]

Although I don't think that, like, hosting the CMAs is a big payday.

[Claudia]

No, but it, like, it puts your name out there. So the big paydays come for other stuff. They see you in this, like, Lane, you've got hosting and Luke.

[Jackie]

It's also very good to just be in the good graces with the CMA brand because you want to win awards. And. And so I understand why they do it because, like, Luke Bryan's a big star. He doesn't need to be hosting this. Like, Laney's on her way up. I totally get why she did it. So I understand why, like, you know, it's politics at that point for the country music artists. Seriously, why the fudge was Peyton Manning there? I'm serious. I really feel like he is, like, unhappy at home and he's spending as much time away from his family as he can. That's what it looks like to me. He's always everywhere.

[Claudia]

To me, it looks like he has very expensive hobbies because you know what.

[Jackie]

You know who's not doing things like that? His brother Eli. Yeah, we actually saw his brother Eli on the beach this summer.

[Claudia]

And what was he doing?

[Jackie]

So busy with his kids, like, yeah, happy family, man. I'm telling you, there's something going on in Peyton Manning's personal life. He's saying yes to too many, like, low brow things.

[Claudia]

Well, that's a conversation, an episode for another day. Because the CMA Awards took place and he was in participation, so the hosts, I thought, kind of stunk, but, like, again, not offended.

[Jackie]

A show isn't made or break broken by a host. Like, who cares?

[Claudia]

Especially if they're not, like, trying so hard. So it's just fine. They were a conduit from one thing to the next with their little jokes. Yeah. Performers and winners, which do you want to do first?

[Jackie]

Performers.

[Claudia]

Performers. So the show opened with Post Malone and Chris Stapleton and they. They were. They sounded. They were good.

[Jackie]

Fine. Yeah.

[Claudia]

Yeah. I mean, everyone loves both of them. I thought they sounded really good. And, like, it didn't clue me in yet that, like, all the mics were fucked up and there was a.

[Jackie]

There was a production issue going on at that arena.

[Claudia]

Yes. So other performers, who were your favorites? Let's start with the good news.

[Jackie]

Luke Holmes was amazing.

[Claudia]

Yes.

[Jackie]

Excuse me.

[Claudia]

They were amazing. That sounded just like their record.

[Jackie]

So they. I have ended up on this side of TikTok. People are obsessed with them. They perform it. I think she opens for him on tour, so then she comes out when he's, you know, the headlining, and they sing it together almost every night. And they have amazing chemistry. I think people are, like, writing fan fiction about them because they're so dying for them. I mean, it's like. It's gorgeous. Like, they need to get married. I love them. So I've been following a lot of the lore, and I was really excited to see them live. She's new to the country scene. This song is huge for her. It's an amazing song. It's so different. What's her name? Ella Langley. She's amazing. She's a rising star in country. I thought she was one of the best performers, and I actually thought Riley Green sounded terrible.

[Claudia]

I thought she sounded great. She had such riz. Like.

[Jackie]

Yeah, she.

[Claudia]

The way when she was walking is like the whole room stopped and stared. She sounded exactly like what she sounds on her song. And she just. I don't know. She was really impressive. I never saw her before, but of course, I heard that song because I'm a living, breathing individual.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[Claudia]

And I was really impressed by her.

[Jackie]

I completely agree. I'm so glad you liked it. And I need you to, like, get on the fan fiction. Like, people are writing books about that.

[Claudia]

Because he's single, we saw him perform.

[Jackie]

He's so handsome, I think. I don't know. I feel like he dates, like, a lot of, like, you know, like, models and stuff, like, behind the scenes, which, like, I don't love for him. Like, I want him to date her, but I don't know a lot about his personal life.

[Claudia]

Got it. One of my favorite performances was Casey Musgraves, the Architect. That song is Parginus in a Bottle. She really, like, showed up and showed them. It's like, oh, you thought I went to the other world and I'm pop. No, I'm here.

[Jackie]

I actually don't think she showed up and showed them. I think it was a little bit like, hey, hey, how y'all doing?

[Claudia]

I'm back.

[Jackie]

Yeah. Like, I. To the pop world, and I kind of want to come back, please. And I think I'm glad that they, like, had her perform, and I'm glad she's, like, really back in the country fold, because I think she makes her best music when she's not trying to be something that she's not. And she's just, like, embraces her roots, and so I. And that song, the Architect, so comfortable songs. I Was actually really happy for her. She looked gorgeous.

[Claudia]

I do feel like it was a little bit like, like, hey, guys, I'm.

[Jackie]

Tail between my legs. Yeah.

[Claudia]

But like, she. Her performance spoke for a shot. She earned her spot. You know, it wasn't like, oh, pop wannabe, get out of here.

[Jackie]

No, no, no, no. Agreed.

[Claudia]

Then my boy Shabuzi performed. He performed two songs. He started with highway, and then he went into a bar song. And that was when the evening kind of shifted for me because up until that point that the songs were kind of like slower and. And people weren't like, singing along or standing. But then like a bar song comes on and that's been the biggest song of the year. And, like, not one person that they pan to know the. Knew the lyrics.

[Jackie]

That was weird. It really highlighted, like, a weird energy in the room. I would have loved to, like, speak to someone who was there if, like, were the vibes off? Because how everyone was not getting up, dancing, popping their pussy for Shabuzi was so strange. Even though I did feel like his vocals, like, he was also having some sort of production issue. Because I know he can sing. I've seen him perform that song many.

[Claudia]

Times at a certain point, like, there were production issues because people who we know can sing, like, didn't sound like themselves. Megan, you know what we needed? We needed Miley. When she was singing Flowers, she's like, I know you guys know this fucking song, like, get up and Dance.

[Jackie]

And, you know, I. I would feel like it was targeted towards Shabuzi if then after that performance I didn't notice it. He. Everyone was, like, in a bad mood the whole night. Like, it was not. It was not Shabuzi targeted. But that's what made me realize it because that is the big everyone. Even if you never. I have never went on Spotify and clicked that song. I know every single word.

[Claudia]

Yeah. So that was, like, really weird to me. And I was like, this is a sleepy crowd.

[Jackie]

Yeah. And it just.

[Claudia]

It's like, maybe they can't even hear. I mean, something was off with the audio, but I was like, okay, the vibes are off at this show.

[Jackie]

Yeah. What other performances?

[Claudia]

So Chris Stapleton performed with Post Malone, and then Alone, he performed his song what Am I Gonna Do? He always sounds good.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[Claudia]

And Post Malone also performed alone, and he did not sound good. Even though he has a nice voice.

[Jackie]

Yeah, he did not. Like, I didn't think he sounded good in the opening either. So I didn't want to be mean and say that because you were like, it's.

[Claudia]

But we know he has a nice voice, so I think he was really sad. I think they were all really sabotaged.

[Jackie]

Do you think he fell victim to the production issues?

[Claudia]

Yes.

[Jackie]

Okay.

[Claudia]

Megan Maroney.

[Jackie]

Oh, my God. She was the most sabotage because I've seen her perform live. Like, she can sing. That's, like, her thing.

[Claudia]

I also. I felt like the song she was singing wasn't big enough, sonically, for an award show. It's like. Like, it's just a little ditty. Like, the production was bigger than the song.

[Jackie]

You know, who absolutely slayed. But she always liked shows up, like, and does the job. Kelsey Ballerini. She has, like, an amazing voice. She did not fall victim to any. She was not letting those in ear monitor. She was not letting any of it get her. She sounded vocally stunning.

[Claudia]

Yeah. And I really like that song with Noah Khan, I guess is Khan. Even though there's an extra A Jelly.

[Jackie]

Roll performed with Brooks and Don. Jelly Roll looked amazing. I didn't know that he was on this health journey. When they cut to him, oh, my God, he had such a light in his face. I thought he looked amazing. I'm so happy for him. I think they said he lost, like, 75 pounds.

[Claudia]

He also performed a song, liar, with Keith Urban, which is the only song from the evening that I've now added to my Spotify. I loved that song also. You ain't nothing But I was listening this morning in the car. Liar.

[Jackie]

This keeps happening to me, like, oh, I really liked. And, you know, I don't really like Thomas Rhett. I loved his performance with Teddy Swimsuit.

[Claudia]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

And that was actually a song that I felt like everybody in the crowd was singing. It's funny how, like, everybody knew that song.

[Claudia]

And Thomas Red has only won two CMAs. When they introduced him, I thought that was, like, a little embarrassing.

[Jackie]

Let's get to the awards, because that's, like, really my big gripe.

[Claudia]

Yes. So the awards. Chris Stapleton was the big winner. And I just feel like when that happens, like, no one can really say anything he wants.

[Jackie]

I can say something. I can say something. Let me say this. I am a big country music fan, but it's not my only genre. So I very much exist, like, within the country music space, but also in popular culture and pop music, so. So I think that I bring a unique pov. I do not know that Chris Stapleton song.

[Claudia]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

I hadn't heard it. And for him to beat it so many times, to beat Shabuzi so many times. They went out of their way not to give Shibuzi in awards. And I'm sorry, CMA is not beating the allegations that they don't like black people. I'm sorry. Like with Beyonce and now Shabuzi, I tried to defend you, but you're kind of becoming indefensible. You can't give it to Shabuzi the biggest, best song of the year. Like, you're literally going out of your way to not give him a single award.

[Claudia]

No, that was the song of the year. There's no disputing it.

[Jackie]

And now I'm looking at cma, like, because, you know, with Beyonce, like, I felt that people were making valid arguments on both sides about whether she deserved to be nominated. I think she did deserve to be nominated, but I could hear like a country music critic, like, whatever. Yeah, Shabuzi is undeniably the biggest country music artist this year. And the fact that his song did not even get a single award, I'm looking at CMA's a little. A little suspiciously.

[Claudia]

And then Chris Stapleton also won male vocalist of the year. And when he won, they said, they announced they were like eight time winner, and they panned to Luke Combs, and.

[Jackie]

He'S like, who loses to him every year?

[Claudia]

He goes eight times.

[Jackie]

I think people were misconstruing that. Like, thinking he was mad. I think it was more of, like an impressed vibe.

[Claudia]

Impressed, shocked. Like, that's so, like, the funny. I didn't think he was mad. I don't think Luke gets mad about this stuff. Like, I think he's.

[Jackie]

I get mad on his behalf. Seriously. Snubbed for every single award. He didn't go home with one single award, but okay.

[Claudia]

However, entertainer of the year did not go to Chris Stapleton, shockingly. And what was so shocking was that it went to Morgan Wallen, who was not there. And Jeff Bridges read the card and he said, Morgan Whelan, which I really related to as someone who doesn't pronounce anyone's name right. And then they were like, morgan Whelan. And he's not here. And Jeff is like, so I'm accepting this award on his behalf. And he's like, to the. To the girl. He's like, give me the award.

[Jackie]

Like, it's really crazy for the biggest award of the night to go to someone who's not there. But that means that it. It's fair because it goes to show.

[Claudia]

That that's really how the Academy voted.

[Jackie]

And that's actually the one award I don't have A big gripe with. Because obviously I wish my boy Luke won, but for the past couple of years, it is so clearly been the entertainer of the year. Luke or Morgan, they're on the same level. They play the same size arenas as Beyonce, as Taylor Swift, as Ed Sheeran. Like, they're undeniably making the biggest impact in popular culture for the country music space. So while I obviously wish it had been Luke, I think Morgan is so deserving. I have no problems with it. I'm fine with it.

[Claudia]

No issue. I wonder why he didn't go.

[Jackie]

I'm sure Luke feels the same way to, like, lose to somebody who he actually feels like is on his level. Not, you know, some rando.

[Claudia]

Yeah. Not like. I just feel like Chris Stapleton. It's like when people don't know what to do, they just goes, chris Stapleton. And he's like, not offensive, but it's.

[Jackie]

Like, I don't know how you. Exciting how you beat everyone as the male vocalist of the year, but then you lose to the entertainer of the air. Like, was.

[Claudia]

Morgan was nominated for male vocalist, but that's. That's more so about, like, songs. Whereas entertainers. Tickets, tickets, tickets, brand, etc. Okay.

[Jackie]

Go through the awards like the main ones so I can.

[Claudia]

Okay. So entertainer Morgan Wallen. Single of the year. White Horse by Chris Stapleton.

[Jackie]

Should have been Shabuzi Album of the.

[Claudia]

Year went to Leather by Cody Johnson and beat out Fathers and Sons by Luke Combs. Deeper well by Casey Musgraves. Hire by Chris Stapleton. Beat Chris Stapleton in his own game. And Whitsit Chapel by Jelly Roll. And actually, in addition to Liar, I will be listening to Cody Johnson's album because he performed with Carrie Underwood. It sounded really nice and I feel like I would like him.

[Jackie]

So that was like Cody Johnson. I don't have a. I don't think that any of these albums were the album of the year. So whoever they gave it to, like, fine.

[Claudia]

Who would you. Who do you think it is?

[Jackie]

That's what I'm saying. Oh, I don't know. The big ones didn't really release this year. Morgan and Luke, so.

[Claudia]

Well, Luke did Fathers and Sons.

[Jackie]

Yeah. But that was like.

[Claudia]

That wasn't like games.

[Jackie]

Like a passion project.

[Claudia]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

So I'm fine with this.

[Claudia]

I also would have given it to Deeper. Well, I think that album is so parchy and perfect, and she doesn't. I agree with Credit. I think everyone does have a tail between her legs. But the song the Architect is like. It's a marvel.

[Jackie]

It's special.

[Claudia]

It's so special. She's not getting enough credit.

[Jackie]

I agree. She's kind of working her way back up, I think the country music ladder, for real. I think they, like that people really did not take it well that she blew up from country and really left them behind.

[Claudia]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

And then went on to do Breadwinner, and it was like, pop and like, it was. It wasn't a good look, honestly. And she's my queen. I literally. I invented her in this universe. Like, I've been listening to her longer than any of you snitches have. Like, you don't know.

[Claudia]

She left you, too.

[Jackie]

She left me too. And, like, I did not listen to Breadwinner.

[Claudia]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

That album was not for me. I don't know who it was for. Her, like, new fans.

[Claudia]

Yeah. Next song of the year went to White Horse by Chris Stapleton.

[Jackie]

And what else was nominated?

[Claudia]

Burn it Down Dirt Cheap. I had some help. And the painter. So actually, Shabuzi wasn't even nominated for that.

[Jackie]

That was weird, too. I had some help. Should have won. And I don't know why I didn't see a single nomination for post Malone song. Pour Me a drink with Blake Shelton, which I think is bigger than the Morgan Wallen one.

[Claudia]

I mean, we all have our Post Malone collabs that are, to us, bigger.

[Jackie]

Than the Morgan Wallen. That's not. That's not even my favorite one. I'm just saying, like, based on how I receive, see the culture and, like, where I playing in Duane Reade, like, it's the. It's the Blake Shelton one, weirdly, which there was no hype for. Everybody was hype for the Morgan one.

[Claudia]

Oh, I feel like the Morgan one was ever, like, did what it needed to do.

[Jackie]

I mean, it's good. It's good. The thing is, is that my overall takeaway from the CMAs, and I know that I come in, like, with a special pov, Like, I'm very Internet. Right. And there's a whole country music scene, country radio. I don't even live in the south, so. And that counts for something too. Of course. Now my POV in the world I exist in isn't the only one, but I think it accounts for, like, a huge part of success for people. TikTok social media. Is your music being played in New York. Like, that's how you know a song is really successful. And I just feel like they completely discounted anything that isn't, like, old school traditional country music, country radio, country world. And that is Shabuzi that is tick tock. That is social media. So I was really disappointed to see that, like, they were like, not willing to like, open up their world at all. Do you know what I mean?

[Claudia]

Yeah. And then there was also, like the other random shit that they keep doing. Female vocalist of the Year, Laney Wilson.

[Jackie]

Who else was nominated?

[Claudia]

Kelsey Ballerini, Ashley McBride, Megan Maroney, Casey Musgraves. Laney Wilson.

[Jackie]

It was Kelsey Ballerina's year. Yeah, it was.

[Claudia]

It's just like it's always Lainey Wilson is the female Chris Stapleton. Like, nobody's going to complain when you give it to her. Except for us, by the way.

[Jackie]

That's literally it, what you just said.

[Claudia]

But, like, the music, country music industry loves her. And by the way, loves him.

[Jackie]

And I say this every year.

[Claudia]

Totally talented.

[Jackie]

I love her.

[Claudia]

I have no issue with you.

[Jackie]

Hang tight, honey. I'm a wildlife Running down a dream of a long lost highway like obsessed.

[Claudia]

And then the only other category we need to discuss is New artist of the year, which went to Megan Maroney. And she beat out Shibuzi, Nate Smith, Mitchell Tenpenny, Zach Top, and Bailey Zimmerman. And as much as I like would have gone for Shabuzi, I also would have gone for Megan Rooney. Like, I'm happy with either.

[Jackie]

You're a little biased because I can tell you, like, that Shibuzi deserved to win for Bar Song because the song was so big. His album and his breadth of work hasn't taken on that life yet. Like, Megan Rooney has tons of hits. She has a whole album that everybody loves. Like, she is more of like a well rounded artist. While it remains to be seen if he's like a viral, like, you know, Old Town Road.

[Claudia]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

Or will it be this big, long career. So I actually, you know, I'm like, we're feeling very defensive of Shibuzi. I didn't think he should have won that category.

[Claudia]

I would have been happy if you won, but I was so happy to see her when she was so happy to win. She was so gorgeous.

[Jackie]

She's a beauty.

[Claudia]

She's a beautiful woman.

[Jackie]

Oh, my God, that face, like. And she was there. I don't know if I think she thought she wasn't gonna win. So she was, like, really surprised. That was a really nice moment.

[Claudia]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

Of which I think there were few.

[Claudia]

Yeah. It was not their best. It wasn't country music's best night. Maybe their biggest. Not their best, just appear to be.

[Jackie]

Like, like getting smaller. Do you know what I mean? And it sucks because it feels like, so many pop artists want to get involved in country music. Beyonce, Post Malone, like, the biggest. And I feel like every year, more and more people show up to the CMAs and do a collab. Teddy Swims, like, and it feels like the CMAs is so not receptive to that. Like, they're not willing.

[Claudia]

Well, I don't think they want all that. That.

[Jackie]

It's nice. It's nice.

[Claudia]

No, I think. I don't think they want, like, everyone, like, coming in and doing a little, you know, CMA spin. But I do think, like, the people who are in the industry, like, in all corners of it in that genre, like, should be more appreciated than the few. The selected few.

[Jackie]

Yeah. No, they have their. Their selects, and I'm over it. Like, so over it.

[Claudia]

Least you could do is fix your sound problems. You're not embarrassing these talented artists. My ears were bleeding at some point.

[Jackie]

Yeah. And, like, I. I don't want to be mean, but, like, the worst, like, I. You know, I'm not gonna say it.

[Claudia]

There was one person who was thinking. I was like, my ears are actually bleeding. Like, this is crazy. And I forget who it was. And I think that's for the best.

[Jackie]

I know who it was, but I won't say it.

[Claudia]

Who will you text me?

[Jackie]

We were texting about it.

[Claudia]

We were texting me on everything.

[Jackie]

Okay, whatever. I'll tell you after.

[Claudia]

Okay. Are you ready for our next story? One of our favorite categories of stories, favorite books, turning into movies, casting news. And Hathaway will star in an adaptation of Colleen Hoover's Verity for Amazon MGM Studio Studios and Michael Showalter. So following the success of the Amazon film the Idea of you, Anne Hathaway and director Michael Show Walter have found their next big project to team up on. She is set to star in Amazon MGM Studios upcoming feature Verity, which show Walter is helming. So they did idea of you together. Now they're doing Verity, based on the number one New York Times bestseller by Colleen Hoover. Like, nobody doesn't like this book.

[Jackie]

This is an amazing book, and it will be a very good movie. Am I wrong in remembering Verity being blonde? Not that Anne Hathaway can't be blonde, but.

[Claudia]

Or that Verity can't be brunette.

[Jackie]

Right? Right.

[Claudia]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

Is the woman upstairs?

[Claudia]

Yeah. She's not who I pictured for Verity, but she's a woman actress who can get the job done.

[Jackie]

She's actually not at all who I pictured. And my initial thought when I saw this, I was like, meh. But then I did remember the idea of you Which I was very, very critical of the book. And I opened my iPad on the TV on a plane, like, ready to hate the movie. And I absolutely loved it. So she did that project justice. She's got a little bit more credit in my book now that she did that. So I'll wait.

[Claudia]

This casting of her doesn't, like, excite me that much, but what excites me is that, like, this is getting off the ground. They're obviously taking it seriously. It's going to be big budget and it's going to be as good as it can be.

[Jackie]

So.

[Claudia]

So I'm excited about that. And it's not like I had anyone in mind that was like, this person is Verity. Also, as much as Verity is the title character, she's not the main character.

[Jackie]

She's barely in it.

[Claudia]

I want to know who's playing Loen.

[Jackie]

Is that her name? I always pictured Verity, the crazy blonde lady upstairs as. What's her name? Diane Kruger.

[Claudia]

Oh, but she's.

[Jackie]

You know what I mean?

[Claudia]

Yeah, yeah. But she's a little bit older. Veri's like, Diane. Oh, no, I'm sorry.

[Jackie]

You're thinking of Diane from Inglorious Bastards.

[Claudia]

Yes. Yeah.

[Jackie]

Oh, that's choked by Christoph Waltz. I don't know why. I've always thought of her as, like, you know, she's like, running around the upstairs looking crazy in a robe, like.

[Claudia]

Yeah. And the sources say that this will be in theaters.

[Jackie]

Oh, I love that. Yeah.

[Claudia]

It has the potential to be. You know, I said this about Housemate too, so I feel like they're going to kind of be like, coming out at the same time.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[Claudia]

Like the next Gone Girl. Really. It's a great, great thriller book, and if done well, we'll crush it.

[Jackie]

And I'm so glad that even though, you know, it had its drama, I'm so glad that it ends with us did so well in theaters because that means that movies like that will be put in theaters. And it's not just Big Dwayne the Rock Johnson movies in theaters anymore.

[Claudia]

Yeah, no, it kind of circumvents that. Matt Damon. Well, it plays into it because it's like there's an existing audience and we know this is going to do gangbusters because millions of people have read the book, but now we're getting quality movies and we're back to, like, rom coms and romance stories and for the girls. And not just like San Andreas Fault.

[Jackie]

Correct.

[Claudia]

So I'm glad that they found a solution to the lack of DVDs.

[Jackie]

Yes. And I. And when the movie comes out, like, I will go to theaters and support. We. I didn't realize that, like, it was difficult to get our type of movies into theaters, and now when they are released in theaters, we all have to go.

[Claudia]

Yeah. My husband's gonna love to hear that.

[Jackie]

I'll literally go with him.

[Claudia]

I'll go with him to do our part.

[Jackie]

Yes. We all have to do our part transnationally.

[Claudia]

Yeah. So that's exciting.

[Jackie]

That is.

[Claudia]

We'll keep you posted on other casting news.

[Jackie]

She's like a good actress. Do you know what I mean? Like, a talented actress. Like, that's really all it takes.

[Claudia]

Yes.

[Jackie]

Even if it's not what we visioned, you know, like.

[Claudia]

Yeah. Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Coachella lineup dropped.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[Claudia]

Coachella 2025 headliners are Lady Gaga night one, Green Day night two, Post Malone night three, and then some sub headliners are Missy Elliott, Benson Boone, Charlie xcx, Lisa.

[Jackie]

Charlie XCX wouldn't be a headliner for Coachella. Do you agree?

[Claudia]

She's the second. She's right before Green Day. That. I think that's a fair place for her.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[Claudia]

No, no.

[Jackie]

And when you think about, like, Lady Gaga, like, they're not on the same level, but, like, when you think about how many people know her music, especially the type of people that go to Coachella.

[Claudia]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

I would have thought she could have been a headliner.

[Claudia]

Maybe she could have been, but if they didn't get Green Day or Post Malone.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[Claudia]

Like, I think her being right under there and then her next album, she could totally be a headliner. I feel like that feels right. Like, remember when we went to Coachella and Billie Eilish, like, was second and.

[Jackie]

She was at some random stage? Right.

[Claudia]

But, like, she's bigger now than she. Like, now she headlined. I feel like it feels right.

[Jackie]

Yeah. I. When we went to Coachella, Lady Gaga was a headliner, and it was amazing. Like, she is such a performer. I'm shocked that she's the Friday night, even though she's Sunday.

[Claudia]

She said this. She said, I have long dream of throwing a massive night of chaos in the desert. It's like, girl, we were there.

[Jackie]

She said she wasn't the number one headline. No, she totally was.

[Claudia]

She was. She said, I've had a vision. I've never been able to fully realize at Coachella for reasons beyond our control, but I wanted to come through for music fans. Like, what do you mean we got a crap.

[Jackie]

I thought it was amazing. I loved every minute of it.

[Claudia]

I've been wanting to go back and do it right, and I. I am. What did she do?

[Jackie]

Oh, why does she have to, like.

[Claudia]

To be excited about something else?

[Jackie]

On the one that we went to.

[Claudia]

And what now it's like, the bar is so high. What the fuck are you gonna do? What couldn't you do?

[Jackie]

Ben's gonna want to go see Green Day.

[Claudia]

He. He could go for the night.

[Jackie]

Do you have the time? Like, he's gonna mosh and post.

[Claudia]

Malone will be good as well.

[Jackie]

Yeah, very good.

[Claudia]

This is a pretty good headline and lineup. I would say only good things. Except at the bottom it says, travis Scott designs the desert.

[Jackie]

Yikes. Run for your life.

[Claudia]

Yeah. I feel like that's worse than having him as a performer. He's designing a festival.

[Jackie]

He's a part of the infrastructure. That's way worse than having him headline all three nights. Like, that's terrible.

[Claudia]

So why would they get tickets? Keep that in mind. Designed by Travis Scott. Are they okay? The more I say it's a crazy back.

[Jackie]

Stay towards the back.

[Claudia]

The more I say, the crazier it sounds.

[Jackie]

Yeah, of course. Like, if they. For him to be involved in a festival is already, like, yikes. But you would assume his involvement is singing just, like, artistically, him being boots on the ground, like, in charge of security. I don't know. I don't like that. I don't think.

[Claudia]

I don't think that's what it. I'm sure it's just like, he's doing some art or shit, but, like, phrasing it like that. Travis Scott designed this festival. No, thanks.

[Jackie]

Run fast for your mother. Run fast for your father. Like, I wasn't planning on going, but if I was, this would definitely give me pause.

[Claudia]

And if I was, like, now I'm feeling a little, like, itchy to boycott. Just to let you guys know, this was a bad idea.

[Jackie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Claudia]

That's really crazy.

[Jackie]

It is.

[Claudia]

I. I'm not seeing really enough energy for that. Yeah, so he can. Yeah, that's. I'm sorry. Like, the more I think about it, I'm. I'm flabbergasted, Guffawed.

[Jackie]

Even though it's not the right word.

[Claudia]

Are you ready for our next story? Number four? Yeah, it's a little reboot. New spin off, I guess. Spin off. Suits LA is bringing back Harvey Specter. Gabriel Madre on an NBC spin off. So this is. This is the new Suits fans have been waiting for. The star of the hit legal drama will appear on the upcoming NBC Spin off suits la. Gabriel Macht, who played the brash and suave super lawyer Harvey Specter on the original series, will reprise his role on the offshoot in a three episode arc. Sources tell Deadline a rep for NBC decided to comment.

[Jackie]

So it suits la, but it's not surrounded around Harvey. He's just on three episodes, I guess.

[Claudia]

So, like, it's a passing of the baton, perhaps.

[Jackie]

Oh, that's like, this is like the Shake Shack news. Like, you must read the fine print.

[Claudia]

Suits la. Suits la.

[Jackie]

I actually feel like suits spin off shows have largely failed. They had that Pearson one, Jessica Pearson, who was like a favorite of a lot of people. She like, had her own law firm show, I don't know. So I'm not optimistic, especially because it's. And if they're ever. If they were gonna do one spin off the most beloved, like, everybody, it's Harvey. Like it's. Everyone loves Harvey. So handsome. So I feel like perhaps like the time for this has passed. Even though so many people got into suits like in the last year or two. Oh my God. Imagine it's successful. And like Meghan Markle does an episode obsessed. That's by the way. We all have to watch it. We need to make it popular so that that happens.

[Claudia]

I could see it happening. I saw a headline yesterday that like, Prince Harry was getting tattoos with jelly roll or something like that.

[Jackie]

You're kidding.

[Claudia]

No, I need to get the exact headline because it was so. It was so shocking. And I was like, in what world are we living in?

[Jackie]

Yeah, that's really crazy. Good for jelly Roll.

[Claudia]

Prince Harry jokes he wants a lower back or ass tattoo in hilarious video with jelly roll. That's a headline that I saw is.

[Jackie]

Rolling over in her grave.

[Claudia]

I don't know which part of this is more shocking. Like, I saw that headline. I was like, like, imagine Prince William reading that over his morning tea. Like, he's gonna choke on his tea.

[Jackie]

He's gonna choke. Maybe that was Harry's plan all along.

[Claudia]

He wants a lower back or ass tattoo. Is he okay?

[Jackie]

Seriously, Growing up and maturing is realizing like Prince Harry has always been and it will always be the problem. Like, he was a problem in his family, he's the problem in his marriage. Like, Megan took so much and it's him. It's literally him. I have such a hate for him. And I actually, like, I think we collectively need to rescue Megan and I think maybe suits law is the thing to just like give her the confidence to take her life back.

[Claudia]

Well, recently I've really Been itching, I've been ready for. And, like, I'm in a place to really receive the American Riviera Orchard show. Like, I was thinking. No, where is it? She launched her lemons basket.

[Jackie]

Change the name, remember?

[Claudia]

Yeah. In the spring. But those PR baskets went out in the spring.

[Jackie]

We're coming up in on that list.

[Claudia]

On almost one year. There's no show.

[Jackie]

That's so Megan. Like, that's my queen right there. Like, announcing projects, cutting the check and not finishing. Like. Like, that's literally me.

[Claudia]

It's goals. Like, how do you get away with that? I feel like we're always being held to our deliverables.

[Jackie]

It's so true. Like, she is just never, like, finishing what she's starting.

[Claudia]

Like a 20 million dollar podcast deal with Spotify for two highly produced seasons where she probably did like a. A total of. Speaking of two hours.

[Jackie]

And that's like all that. That's what it's about, like, life, like being a businesswoman, taking your time back. No, I love her. She's exploiting these big companies for her own self interest. And I live for it.

[Claudia]

And it's just like, you would think at some point that the issue with doing something like that is that the buck runs out and, like, people are on you and everyone's signing up.

[Jackie]

They want to work with her.

[Claudia]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

And that's not being interesting and beautiful and like, really mysterious.

[Claudia]

Yeah. But I'm just saying, like, I, every night when I, like, go to watch, she'd be like, if America, that's what you're looking for. Aro was out, Like, I would be watching it. And the fact that it's not here, like, it's the season for a nice, cozy cookie.

[Jackie]

She really, she really needs that. Like, I do think she has, like, great recipes and she's definitely, like, organic. Like, you're like, she makes her own.

[Claudia]

Butter and she has chickens.

[Jackie]

Yeah. I think that it's a missed opportunity, especially. Tis the damn season.

[Claudia]

Tis the season. Like, time is a wasting.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[Claudia]

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

[Jackie]

If it's our fifth and final story that's brought to you by Saks.com oh, it is. Turd.com the premier digital platform for luxury fashion. With the holidays literally right around the corner, Saks.com makes it easy to find the perfect gift for the pickiest of people on your list. Or if you're just shopping for yourself, they've got an expertly curated assortment of fashion. So whether you're shopping for a hard to please family member Jacqueline Filet Someone that seems to have everything. Jacqueline Foley or even your ultra stylish bestie Jacqueline Foley. Saks.com has you covered with the most versatile collection of fashion, beauty, home decor and so much more. And there's something about doing your holiday shopping online that really is integral in protecting your piece. And I think when you go to like the stores, if you're going last minute and like you, you end up like not getting the right thing because you're overwhelmed. You just want to get out of the store. 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[Claudia]

Thank you, Claudia.

[Jackie]

You're welcome.

[Claudia]

Our fifth and final story is some podcasting news, which we'll get into in a second, but it reminded me also of Meghan Markle and Lemonada. Remember when we reported that. Oh yeah, got her podcast and I was just reading up on it. They said that they pushed the launch of the podcast till 2025 so as not to compete with her new Netflix show cooking show the American, which didn't come out right. So we're just like, we're getting pushed back, more obsessed. Our fifth and final story is giving Lemonada, which is why I remember that, because someone is entering this podcasting sphere.

[Jackie]

Oh.

[Claudia]

Chrissy Teigen launches a new wellness podcast called Self Conscious. It is an Audible exclusive. So Chrissy Teigen is adding another title to her resume, Podcaster. She shares that she show hopes her show can help people break the cycle of negative thoughts. Thoughts. She said, quote, all we do is negative self talk all day. And I think it's just this beautiful hour release where we can do something to better ourselves and learn something. I honestly really hope that people learn to give themselves a lot of grace. I think it's really easy to be tough on ourselves and easy to think that we're not doing enough, we're not exercising enough, we are not meditating enough. I don't really worry that I don't meditate enough.

[Jackie]

I definitely don't exercise enough.

[Claudia]

Eating well enough. We drink too much. Over the course of these conversations, she's begun to peel back the layers of challenges hindering her own well being. She hopes for listeners of the podcast to do the same.

[Jackie]

I feel like when people come up with podcasts, they like, feel like they need a reason, like, and like a description that makes them different. Like a Podcast is a podcast. Talk about whatever the fuck you want. Like, the fact that you need this, like, mission statement that, like, we know you're not going to do. It's going to be end up like, you having Krishna on, like, you and your. That's great and that's great. But I think that whenever somebody comes to the space, especially, like, a little bit late, they feel they need to have, like, a structure that is so different from anything that's out there. And, like, that's why they're late, because they were coming up with this really unique idea. It's like, it's just a podcast. Is that serious?

[Claudia]

No. And, like, two people can, like, have the same mission. Five people can. A bunch of people can. You're all going to say different stuff, a different. We all take on the matter.

[Jackie]

Every podcast has the same mission. Like, to have interesting conversations like that.

[Claudia]

Right. Keep you coming.

[Jackie]

We don't need an outline. We don't need a deck of, like, the mission.

[Claudia]

Especially not one so dreadful. Like, come on.

[Jackie]

And that's not what I would have expected. Like, the thing about Chrissy Teigen is before she got canceled, but even still, like, she has a really loyal fan base of people who really, like, like her personality. And, like, her personality is, like, she makes fun of stuff and, like, she's really real. And so this, like, no negative. Why? Sometimes life is negative, and that's fine. Like, let's talk about it. It's funny. I actually don't think this mission statement really aligns with her personality and why people are drawn to her. They're drawn to her because she's like, yeah, this supermodel husband is a billionaire and she lives. But she's so real. She's out here, like, talking about how she wears diapers postpartum. Like, she really keeps it very real. And I wish that was the statement because that's really why she's so successful.

[Claudia]

Yeah. This podcast will finally probably fall under, like, the wellness category, where it's like, we don't want a wellness podcast from Chrissy Teigen. Like, she could have done something in comedy. She could have done something in, like, parenting.

[Jackie]

Yeah. Food.

[Claudia]

This. Yeah.

[Jackie]

Hosting.

[Claudia]

And I mean, hopefully it's not what she says it's going to be because this just really sounds, like, really boring. And it does.

[Jackie]

Like, hopefully, like, she has. Does an episode with John. She does an episode with her sister, who everybody loves. She does an episode on cooking, a holiday one. Like, she's very homemakery. Like, this is such a weird angle when. When The. Her doing a podcast, she's perfect for it. She has a great personality. She. People love to hear her talk. So why she had to come up with this, like, fakt new image. Just do a podcast.

[Claudia]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

So ashamed.

[Claudia]

Like, it's actually surprising that she's never done a podcast before. She's very podcast.

[Jackie]

I know, I know. Well, I think, like, there was a really, like, a big chunk of time where, like, she was a little too good for it, you know?

[Claudia]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

But now she's been humbled like the rest of us, and she goes where all former canceled people go, to the podcasting space. We welcome you with open arms. I wish you the best of luck.

[Claudia]

But actually, if this were like, an interview show, like armchair expert with, like, her famous friends just having, like, funny conversations, that would sound more interesting than whatever this is.

[Jackie]

Yeah. Because really, if you're. If you're going to do conversations, like interviews, which it sounds like she's going to do, you know, none of these people are any better of interviewers than the rest. None of these people are like formal journalists. So it's really just about, like, who you are and who you know. And if people want to trust you, like, she could get Kim on, you know.

[Claudia]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

And she's kind of perfect for it. She's really well connected and people really, I think. I think seem to like her and trust her, like, in the Hollywood space. So I don't know why she didn't just lean into that.

[Claudia]

No. She could have been female armchair expert.

[Jackie]

What was the name of the podcast?

[Claudia]

Self conscious with self. Like, really big and then conscience. So it's like self conscious.

[Jackie]

Bad name is a bad name. And I feel like she has this big brand.

[Claudia]

Conscious, not conscious.

[Jackie]

You're saying it weird. She should have tied it into her brand, which is cravings. Like cravings and chat.

[Claudia]

Chatter. Chit Chat.

[Jackie]

Yeah. Something. Yeah.

[Claudia]

Chrissy's Cravings. Chat. Chat.

[Jackie]

Yeah. Thank you. We love alliteration.

[Claudia]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

So we'll see. The thing is, the cream rises.

[Claudia]

Right.

[Jackie]

She might end up on our list of celebrities who started podcasts and never finished them. Ashley grabbed.

[Claudia]

Yeah. Is she on our list? Let's just.

[Jackie]

Ashley Graham.

[Claudia]

Yeah. Like, she on the official list? No. I thought the list is, like, that's not who comes to mind for me.

[Jackie]

But jvn.

[Claudia]

JVN is done.

[Jackie]

Yeah. Don't we always have this conversation?

[Claudia]

Yeah. And he's, like, canceled.

[Jackie]

Oh, right. He should come back to the podcast. Oh, my God.

[Claudia]

So many people on this list. I, like, didn't even know they had A podcast.

[Jackie]

Let alone Ellen Pompeo. Right?

[Claudia]

Ellen Pompeo, Yeah.

[Jackie]

Why is she on the list? I actually have this list memorized cuz it's so funny. Go the list.

[Claudia]

Okay.

[Jackie]

Jay Cutler, he had a podcast. Yeah.

[Claudia]

Remember sophia with an F1 on emerald?

[Jackie]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Claudia]

To me, she's the list.

[Jackie]

Oh yeah, she's. That's really emblematic of like this big push and then nothing archetypes.

[Claudia]

Which stays on the list until Illuminata brings it back. Kim Spotify podcast.

[Jackie]

Oh, and I'm sorry, I apologize to jbn. He released an episode yesterday.

[Claudia]

Oh, taking.

[Jackie]

I'm really sorry. But he definitely went on break because he was on the list at one point where they were like doing old reruns and.

[Claudia]

Oh, you know who we have to add? Anna Faris.

[Jackie]

Yeah, but I feel like it's unfair because that list is like failed podcasts.

[Claudia]

Are allowed to end. Like.

[Jackie]

Like she did it for years and she was enormously successful.

[Claudia]

I agree.

[Jackie]

She doesn't go on the list.

[Claudia]

I think we've already had this conversation and reached that same conclusion. Kim Spotify. Yeah, that's the true crime thing. Michelle Obama, Spotify.

[Jackie]

A lot of these were the Spotify when they were like throwing money at celebrities and it was supposed to be huge.

[Claudia]

Ashley Graham, as you've stated. Graham.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[Claudia]

Anderson Cooper.

[Jackie]

That's shocking.

[Claudia]

Shocking that he did a podcast. You're on TV every day. Like, why do we need.

[Jackie]

Why?

[Claudia]

Ellen Pompeo, as you said, hysterical. Margo Ashrae and Olivia.

[Jackie]

Oh my God. We had to listen. The call is coming from inside the house.

[Claudia]

Like you had to. And then Phineas and Claudia Saluski started a podcast in Covid and they don't do it anymore.

[Jackie]

That sounds dreadful. Oh my God.

[Claudia]

It's a classic tale, by the way. Feel free. I feel like you guys did this last time, but I forgot to take out my list and add people to it. Sound off in the comments if there are people we're missing. I want to get this list robust.

[Jackie]

Next up is Dear Toasters, one day late. But don't worry, next week it'll be one day early. And from here on out, we've discussed Tuesdays are Dear Toasters days because Wednesdays will be Real Housewives of Beverly Hills days. So Dear Toasters is our weekly advice segment where Jackson I hear from the girlies. We try to help them out. You can write in submissions to us two different ways. One, just send us an email dear toasters gmail.com or you can head over to our Website the Toast podcast dot com. Scroll down. There's a little deer toaster submission box that goes straight to us. Totally anonymous. We'll help you out with whatever you're dealing with. Hey, Jackson, turn. Long time toaster. First time writing in Love you lots. I'm in a pickle. About a year and a half ago, I became friends with my neighbor. Things were going great. Normal, no issues. She then had had some health issues and our group of friends was right there for her through it all. Once she was better, she convinced me to apply to work with her. She works in child protective services. Shortly after we began working together, things were going great. But she sent me a text out of the blue on a Sunday saying that she thought I had autism. I was a bit shocked. I didn't love the vibe of being diagnosed by a friend. When I didn't ask for it, I ignored it and just hoped that she would get the hint. But the next day at work, she doubled down. She asked me if I saw the text message, what my thoughts were, to which I said, I appreciate you as a friend, but that really isn't me. She then said that I was wrong and urged me to get testing done asap. I was put off by this and I ghosted her and then dropped the friendship completely. It has been about six months. We recently began speaking again about work stuff, and I'm starting to worry that I rushed into a decision to drop a friend. Am I being too sensitive about this or was dropping her appropriate? By the way, I just want to say it sounds like she's the one with autism. Like, yeah, because people with autism are known for, like, their directness and they're like, saying things that are socially weird. So saying someone randomly that you barely know, like, that you think they have autism, like, that's something. Actually an autistic person would say. Sorry.

[Claudia]

Yeah. Also, I feel like she offended you. Fine to take space, but now, like, you kind of miss her friendship and you're moving on from it. And that's also healthy too. Just because you, like, drop someone, it can be temporary and then you pick back up if you miss her and you. And you work with her and she's your neighbor, like, how can you really avoid her? And it sounds like you want to, like, forget that you're naturally coming back. And they're like, I like that. Normalize that too. You don't need to, like, drop someone forever. Sometimes you just need to teach someone a lesson. Like, maybe you guys were getting a little too close. She thought she could say Anything to you.

[Jackie]

Yeah.

[Claudia]

And you get. You put some distance between it now, get back to it, get after it.

[Jackie]

Yeah, I agree. I wouldn't fight like the natural urge that seems to be happening. Like some people come into your life in waves and that's fine. But if you're naturally kind of like swimming towards her for whatever reason, let it happen. And if it comes up, honestly, just say it like it's kind of crazy.

[Claudia]

Yeah. And time heals all. And don't like feel like, you know, you shouldn't forgive her. You know, forgiveness is a good thing. Even if she didn't say sorry. Like, you can still forgive and move on.

[Jackie]

Yeah. And just like. Yeah, people are really just crazy. That's what Dear Toaster teaches me.

[Claudia]

Yeah, people are.

[Jackie]

The way people act is really. Actually, that's a good segue into the second deer.

[Claudia]

You can't control how they act. You can only control how you react.

[Jackie]

Swirlies. My PJ gave me the biggest ick of my life and I need serious help. I am not an overtly physical person. I love affection for my husband, cuddling my babies. But unnecessary touch from others like is not welcome.

[Claudia]

Literally. I can relate. What is the ick?

[Jackie]

Recently we were at a family gathering at my in laws. I told my husband I was going to start gathering the kids to go home and I expected him to follow me. I was getting flustered, juggling the kids, wondering where he went. When I look up and I see my husband is getting a massage from his sister in the middle of the function. The massage continued while I stood there waiting with our tired kids. He even had the audacity to lay on the floor, request a lower back massage. I understand. As his wife, I've been lacking in giving him massages. That's why for his birthday, I gifted him a nice massage. And I often encourage him to go to a professional. Once we left the event, I let him know how icky it was to me. He seemed annoyed. And every time I bring it up jokingly, he gets upset at me. I need to move on. But I fear this ick will haunt our marriage forever. Please humble me or help me accept this ick. By the way, you're so valid.

[Claudia]

You're so valid. That is so crazy. Like, I know, like sister, sister, like people in families, like, give massages sometimes. Like, not like, like I like sometimes exactly. Like rub his, like grandma's back. Like if she's just sitting.

[Jackie]

He's a good grandson, right?

[Claudia]

Right.

[Jackie]

But like an old woman.

[Claudia]

So when you said sister.

[Jackie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Claudia]

No.

[Jackie]

Yeah. Ben actually rubs his dad's back all the time, but his dad actually has a bad back. So it's really nice.

[Claudia]

It's nice. Honestly. Like, I want that. Like, I will sign up for that one day. But the sister. And then he's laying on the floor. And then also, let's forget, like, the tired children. We need to go home. And he's like. And it's not like you even said, like, she's a professional chiropractor and she was adjusting him. Like, excuse me. No, I would never get over that. I would never let him live it down just to make sure he never does it again.

[Jackie]

And eventually, there's so many elements of it that are weird. Like, socially, you're laying down in the middle of a party. Get up. You're a father. Second of all, like, your sister's touching you. That's disgusting. Freudian type shit. 3. You are literally leaving me hanging. Getting the kids in their coats. They're screaming, they're tired, they're throwing food. Like, be an involved parent. Get the fuck up. This isn't the Canyon Ranch.

[Claudia]

No. And if he really likes, like, he needs you to massage him, you get him massages. His sister's massaging him. Like, he should see a doctor because his body's not functioning properly. Nobody needs this many massages. And you like making it putting on you. Like, maybe I don't give him enough massage.

[Jackie]

Jackie, I was. Let me read this.

[Claudia]

Give him one massage is more than enough.

[Jackie]

Too many. It's too many.

[Claudia]

Too many.

[Jackie]

I understand. As his wife, I've been lacking in giving him massages. That is not your job.

[Claudia]

No, it's not.

[Jackie]

And some people. Ben loves massages, so. So it may be this guy's the same way. And so you getting him for, like, a birthday and anniversary, always giving him a gift card to a massage is amazing. Like, that's seriously brilliant. There is literally no obligation on your part to rub this man's back.

[Claudia]

Is he a professional athlete? What is he doing? And if so, then get a masseuse to come to the house once a week.

[Jackie]

Sports therapist.

[Claudia]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

No. And I don't know if you're a professional athlete. Like, you're bringing home the big bucks. All right, I'll rub your back. You know, I don't have to work like that. I need to know more. But it just sounds like he's a big old baby and I hate him. No. And you're valid in your ick. And seriously, never let him live this down. If only so that he knows, like, that type of physical touch with your sister, like, is not appropriate.

[Claudia]

No. It's so crazy. And just. Even if he still thinks it's right just to never do it again to avoid, like, your ire.

[Jackie]

It feels like Melissa Gorga wrote this in and Teresa was rubbing Joe's back because they're, like, those type of siblings who definitely, like, you know, touch.

[Claudia]

That is so weird.

[Jackie]

Okay, the husbands are really acting out. Okay, here's another one about a husband. Hey, swirly twirly gumdrops, I need to know your thoughts on this. My husband and I have been together for three years. We've been married just over a year since we've been together. He has been adamant that I cannot see his butthole. I jokingly inquired about it a long time ago while we were dating, and he was very clear, like, no, that was a boundary for him. I could. That I could not see it. Now that we're married and he's locked in forever, I thought maybe it wouldn't be, you know, as big of a deal. But no, he is still. He will not quote show hole, as the kids say. I'm not really interested in seeing this part of him and I just make a joke about it occasionally, but now I'm genuinely curious, like, is this normal? Please share your thoughts. Sincerely, a wife in the Dark. I love your show. It keeps me alive. Thanks. Now, I want to say something really quickly because sometimes I jump to conclusions on Dear Toasters. Like last year, last week, a lot of people were mad at me when I said that it sounded like that girl's fiance had a gambling problem, when in reality, he's just from the south and people take sports, like, way seriously. So, okay, maybe I was off the mark on this one gun. And you guys know, like, I'm always jumping the gun. Like, your husband's gay, but it kind of sounds like your husband might have a stretched out booty hole from, like, you know, being gay, like, butt stuff. And maybe he didn't want you to see it.

[Claudia]

Oh, my God. I'm taking the total opposite approach. That is a totally fair boundary.

[Jackie]

I disagree.

[Claudia]

Why do you want to see his butthole?

[Jackie]

Not want to, but, like, things in life. Like, when you're. I've seen Ben's butthole. What time I to give him an enema?

[Claudia]

Right? And things like that would come up. But you're not saying he wouldn't even let me give him an enema. But, like, you just, like, want to, like, look at it for sport. Like, I'm Clenching. Just thinking about it, like, no, I.

[Jackie]

Have a great idea. Okay, listen, we need to start poisoning this man so that, yeah, we need to give him a modium, like making breakfast every day for a week. And he won't go to the bathroom and say, babe, like, I've gone to the bathroom in a week. And you say, oh, well, do you want an enema? It's not a big deal. I'll just give it to you and we'll see. If even in a medical emergency he won't show you his butthole, then something is off.

[Claudia]

Does a gay person who takes it up the butt really have that much of a different looking butthole than someone who doesn't?

[Jackie]

It depends, I think how active you are, but I do think you could have a stretched out booty hole. That's like the thing.

[Claudia]

That is the thing.

[Jackie]

I'm pretty sure it is. Let me just ask.

[Claudia]

Hold on. But I feel like you could if his booty was like a little stretched out because he's gay. Like, he could say I make like big duties. Like, I don't think he's hiding anything. I don't think he's hiding anything except once one part of himself, like the deepest inner corner of himself to be private.

[Jackie]

Bottoms a lot. Possibly have a stretched out butthole. Question mark.

[Claudia]

I just want to say I've never disagreed with Claudia more. Of course, there's always anyone, you know your husband could be gay. But like, that is not at all what I think is going on here. I think this is a very fair.

[Jackie]

It's so funny. Like, boundaries are so foreign to me.

[Claudia]

Oh my God.

[Jackie]

Because I just, like, I walk around my house and again, so does Ben. Like, boundaries are so foreign that my, my first instinct was like, he's gay.

[Claudia]

You can walk around your house naked and still not want to show someone the innards of your booty hole.

[Jackie]

I asked, does someone who bottoms a lot possibly have a stretched out butthole? Oh, for sure. Hot hot dog down a hallway vibes.

[Claudia]

Wait, but what about the hole itself? Would it be visible to the naked eye? Yeah, no, he's talking about once you're inside.

[Jackie]

Like, it would be visible to the naked eye. Question mark.

[Claudia]

The booty hole looks different than a virgin booty hole.

[Jackie]

Like, if I looked at your butthole, I would know that it's been stretched out. Question mark.

[Claudia]

I like, who'd you ask?

[Jackie]

I don't want to say, like, I'll tell you after, but like, I want to put this person on blast.

[Claudia]

Like, yeah, yeah.

[Jackie]

Oh, they usually Close.

[Claudia]

It's an elastic.

[Jackie]

Interesting. So it just, like, stretches.

[Claudia]

Listen, not everyone has to show you every crevice of themselves. And I understand why he doesn't want to bend over and spread them just because.

[Jackie]

Yeah, okay. My thing is wrong.

[Claudia]

Oh, I'm glad we got to the bottom of that. And I'm wrong. Like, one day in time, if you guys stay together, you will see his butthole. Like, there will be an enema. Maybe the time is coming. There might be a hemorrhoid. He might need you to look at something, but just to, like, look at it for shits and giggles. I understand why to him, that's like.

[Jackie]

No, I guess, like, it is just weird that there's, like, you live with this person and there's a part of them you haven't seen.

[Claudia]

I think there should be a little mystery in everyone. Nah, that is so not weird.

[Jackie]

Well, I don't know. It's like, a man gets to see, like, if you're married to a man and you have kids, like, he sees you at your worst at, like, the goriest. He sees every part of you, like, bend over. We need to be even for sure.

[Claudia]

But if you said to your husband, I don't want you to watch. Like, if that was for some reason how you felt, like, they wouldn't watch.

[Jackie]

They would look still curious. No, I feel like if you were.

[Claudia]

Really admin about it, like, they would respect that.

[Jackie]

Let's do one more, because I do have a fourth, and it's pretty good.

[Claudia]

And we.

[Jackie]

Jackson. Hey, Jackson. Claude. I'll make this short. I'm dating a total pjom who's been a literal angel sent from above. Now, this is the perfect example of. Of a running inside joke of, like, toast hood is that, like, people will write and be like, my pj and then they'll say, like, the P. John did something so not precious and not gem. Like, and I just want to say to this girl, you are not dating a P. John.

[Claudia]

Okay, start again.

[Jackie]

I'm dating a total pjom who's been a literal angel sent from above. Girl, you do not know the meaning of the word angel.

[Claudia]

No, and also, like, people don't even talk that way about, like, actual pjoms that they love.

[Jackie]

No, like, you have been hoodwinked. However, the last month, I feel like. I feel like he's been really distant. He recently shared with me how he would rank his priorities. One, it went himself to his family. Three, grad school. Four, the Arizona Cardinals. Five, his job. Six, a baseball team that he coaches and seven, his friends and me. This isn't sitting right with me. But is it enough to end it? He said he doesn't see these priorities ever changing. He's really obsessed with baseball. But is this normal? No.

[Claudia]

Well, no. There's so many issues here. First of all, if he's a PJ heaven sent onto your lap, and he said one thing wrong one time about his list of priorities, then what are you talking about? He's an angel from heaven, but he's been distant and he's so. He's so great that even though you're number seven, like. Like it feels like number one.

[Jackie]

Right, Right. But that's not what she's saying. It's not a perfect relationship because they've been experiencing this, like, rough patch.

[Claudia]

What I would say is, yeah, his priorities sound fucked up, but if you were to marry him, then you move up to family and you're not in the friend right now. Your girlfriend and friends, you're in.

[Jackie]

Right. So you would be two. You would be number two. And it's kind of crazy putting yourself as your number one priority and the.

[Claudia]

Baseball team that you co. Like, it's a. There's craziness here, however, like when you're someone's girlfriend, like the expectation like you. You grow in their hearts and you become. You grow. So I think eventually you'd be family. But he just sounds like a piece of work.

[Jackie]

He sounds like really self involved and really immature. Like, not someone who's looking for, like a real meaningful, you know, earth shaking kind of love.

[Claudia]

I don't know how you would get from friend to family while he's prioritizing grad school, his job, the Arizona Cardinals, and the little league team that he coaches, not to mention himself.

[Jackie]

Yeah. I think probably you being number seven. There's so many issues here, is you being number seven, you not even being number seven by yourself because you're looped in with friends. Another big issue we're not talking about is himself being number one.

[Claudia]

Yeah.

[Jackie]

That's like, really, really crazy.

[Claudia]

I think with a man like this, it's really hard to get from seven to two. I don't.

[Jackie]

Yeah. And I think you'll be like, even if he marries you, like, you'd be like fighting your whole life to be like an important person in your husband's life. Who the wants that?

[Claudia]

How I.

[Jackie]

You just want to be important.

[Claudia]

He is, I guess he's in grad school, so he's kind of young. Like 22.

[Jackie]

People go to grad school. No, no. I mean, some people go to grad school directly after college, but some people go years later. Yeah, you can go when you're 30. It doesn't mean. It doesn't necessarily mean you're 22.

[Claudia]

How does he have time to coach the little, like, team, go to grad school and have a job?

[Jackie]

Well, he's neglecting his girlfriend, that's how.

[Claudia]

Right.

[Jackie]

I don't know. I would just sit back and think, like, if your friend came to you and said, like, my boyfriend put me on number. Like, okay.

[Claudia]

However, like. But then it's also like, actions speak louder than words. He treats you like a PJ heaven sent from above. And. But then he said something, but he treats you great. So if he's what you said in the beginning, then what are we talking about? But.

[Jackie]

Right. By the way, do you. Do you feel like he's a pjom? What do you feel more, he's a PJ angel sent from heaven above, or do you feel more like number seven?

[Claudia]

Right. And also, like, sometimes men say stupid stuff and they. And they don't realize, like, how wrong it is until weeks later, maybe even years later, maybe years down the line. He would think back on this thing that he said. He'd say, I was so stupid, you know? And, like, he can grow out of that, like, stupidity.

[Jackie]

Oh, my God.

[Claudia]

But you have to evaluate the rest of your relationship because just because he said that thing one time, like, I. I don't think you have to write off what is otherwise a very good relationship.

[Jackie]

If it is.

[Claudia]

If it is. But you said it is.

[Jackie]

Yeah. Oh, my God, I'm starving. Like, can't wait for a big, fat, fatty lunch.

[Claudia]

What you're gonna have, though, I'm not sure yet.

[Jackie]

It's raining, so I feel like I need to be extra fat, extra cozy. Yeah. Extra padded.

[Claudia]

Extra padded.

[Jackie]

Husking up for winter. Yeah. That's our show, you guys. As promised to dear Toasters, was kind of banging. I'm so glad we waited. And it'll be on Tuesday next week, so we'll get into a good rhythm. Tomorrow's Friday. Great.

[Claudia]

Just great, great, great, great, great, great.

[Jackie]

Thank you so much for listening to the Toast Monday morning show while we Deliver the Fast5 stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subs Video thumbs up. We're also available as podcasts anywhere podcasts can be found. So it's Spotify itunes, Stitcher Public video. I have radio cast box all the places. Wherever you listen to podcasts, find us the toast. Leave a five star review about how beautiful, stunning and wickedly talented we are.

[Claudia]

Love ya. Bye.