Digital Talent with Joey Camasta: Tuesday, December 9th, 2025

Summary

The Toast – "Digital Talent with Joey Camasta"

Date: December 9, 2025
Hosts: Claudia Oshry, Joey Camasta (Guest Host)
Episode Theme: Celebrating Joey’s final episode as co-host, holiday traditions, pop culture catch-ups, behind-the-scenes influencer life, and listener advice

Episode Overview

This episode marks Joey Camasta’s fourth and final co-host appearance for the season, and it’s a nostalgic, funny, and lively hour full of personality and pop culture. Claudia and Joey reflect on his time with The Toast, chat about holiday plans, reminisce about beloved movies, and dissect trending celebrity stories. They also take listener-submitted questions in their "Dear Toasters" segment, offering advice with their signature wit and honesty.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Joey’s Toast Farewell & Reflections ([00:32]–[01:20])

• Claudia opens by acknowledging Joey’s last day co-hosting this season.
• Reflection: Joey shares he’s gained “brand deals, tons of PR, a bevy of new Toasters followers,” plus “a new lease on life” – feeling more confident and accomplished.

  “I’m just more confident. I’m more sure of myself. Yeah, I feel accomplished.” – Joey ([01:22])

• Banter around former co-host Margo and what Joey has taken from sitting in the Toast seat.

2. Holiday Plans and Family Traditions ([02:45]–[04:20])

• Joey details his family’s cozy holiday rituals, including Christmas Eve at his father’s with a seafood spread and Christmas morning with his dog, Piccolo.
• Joey talks about his dog Piccolo’s “legal name” (Italian for “small”) and shares about the challenges and perks of always bringing his psychiatric service dog everywhere.

  “I have him everywhere. He’s my psychiatric service dog...I’m mentally ill!” – Joey ([03:48])

3. Sibling Dynamics & Pop Culture Identity ([04:28]–[05:33])

• Claudia quizzes Joey about his sisters; he jokes they “roll their eyes at me a lot,” lacking the “lore of Joey Kamasta in their home.”
• “I’m the Mary, you’re the Rhoda!” – Claudia and Joey playfully compare themselves to iconic duos, segueing into a loving debate about “Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion.”

4. Nostalgia Movie Wrap-up: Romy & Michele, The Comeback, Bratz, Rosie O’Donnell, and More ([05:33]–[09:15])

• They reminisce about favorite lines from 'Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion.'
• Memorable Quote:

  “If you haven’t seen it, ladies Toasters, do yourself a toasty favor!” – Joey ([06:15])

• Reflections on Lisa Kudrow’s career, The Comeback, and the Bratz Movie’s odd place in their lives—including discovering they lost a parent while watching it.
• Discussion of Rosie O’Donnell’s character shifts, encounters with celebrities, and Joey’s brushes with Lady Gaga pre-fame.

5. Celebrity Sightings & Music Talents ([09:15]–[12:45])

• Joey’s brief Lady Gaga origin story: hanging out at St. Jerome’s before her stardom. Claudia challenges Joey to show off his singing voice, prompting his rendition of “Show Me Love.”

  “That’ll wake you up!” – Claudia, after Joey belts out a note ([11:43])

• Claudia shares stories about her own music-recording experiences and dreams for Joey’s potential stage name: “Lil Joe? Wiggles?”

6. Hopes & Dreams for 2026 ([13:21]–[13:46])

• Joey hopes for his dog to be better behaved, to lose 25 lbs (“girl, you and me both!” – Claudia), and to further his cooking career by potentially publishing a cookbook and going on a brand trip.

  “I want to do my cooking career more. So I just have to get in the kitchen and start burning.” – Joey ([13:44])

7. Influencer Trips & Industry Tea ([14:03]–[14:58])

• Joey dishes on trying to get himself on brand influencer trips (“Get Joey on the trip!”), playfully exposing that he replied from a friend’s phone trying to score an invite.
• banter about inclusivity and the “gay limit” on certain influencer trips.
• “The more than three is considered a gang – a gang bang.” – Joey ([14:51])

8. Past Lives & Service Industry Hilarity ([15:11]–[16:42])

• Joey shares about working (and getting fired) in food service, infusing tales of pineapple-infused sake and closing early.
• “I just loved the theater of it...carrying the plates, being dramatic.” ([16:20])

9. Personal Histories: First Loves & Family ([17:17]–[19:13])

• Joey recounts his first boyfriend, Mark the Marine, and the gifts/stories attached (Balenciaga City bag!). A frank discussion on relationships not working out due to not coming out of the closet.

10. Pop Culture & Reality TV Corner

a) Joey at the Jersey Shore Wedding ([19:58]–[22:18])

• Joey attended Sammy “Sweetheart’s” wedding, describing her as “AI flawless” and telling stories about the dynamic (and drinking habits) of the Jersey Shore cast:

  “They call me Digital Talent because, at an MTV event, they made me go to the digital talent section on the carpet instead of with them.” ([21:45])

b) Netflix Screeners & Emily in Paris ([22:25]–[23:45])

• Joey brags about access to unreleased Netflix content thanks to his friend, including a new ‘Knives Out’ and ‘Emily in Paris’ season 5 (“This season she’s in Rome!”).

c) Sexual Identity Banter ([24:01]–[24:34])

• Conversation about queer and trans identification, mostly in a tongue-in-cheek tone.

  “I don’t consider...anything. But yes, I do identify as trans—if I can get into a better school or get a bigger contract.” – Joey ([24:32])

11. Fashion and Entertainment Fast Five

a) Timothée Chalamet & Kylie Jenner Red Carpet ([31:01]–[34:04])

• Dissecting their Chrome Hearts matching outfits and what the brand even is (“I think it’s just custom couture for everyone...everything looks leather and tight and not breathable.”—Joey [32:56]).
• Movie nostalgia: “Call Me By Your Name,” “Brokeback Mountain,” and which leading man they preferred.

  “Gay or straight…that was a gut-wrenching [movie].” – Joey on Brokeback ([34:01])

b) Jenna Bush’s New Co-Host ([36:30]–[39:16])

• Claudia vents about NBC’s underwhelming pick (“Chanel Jones”) after a year-long search and why she hoped for a younger or more groundbreaking choice like Justin Sylvester.

c) Dream Jobs and Lifestyle Gurus ([39:30]–[41:40])

• Both hosts agree their dream job is “not needing one.” Joey envisions himself as a Martha Stewart-type—cookbooks, decor lines, and being a “style icon.”

12. Bravo & Reality TV Updates ([41:40]–[46:07])

• Joey and Claudia discuss "Summer House" and Kyle/Amanda’s marital drama making for another explosive season.
• “He’s over 40…he’s the last one up, DJing in the living room. Like, it’s sad.” – Claudia ([45:48])

13. Parallel Parking & Jonas Brothers Detour ([47:16]–[50:14])

• Viral TikTok of Joe Jonas failing to parallel park leads to a deep-dive on Jonas Brothers favorites, Nick being Joey’s pick.

14. Love Is Blind Divorce—Alexa & Brennan ([55:12]–[57:08])

• Sad news about the breakup of fan-favorites Alexa & Brennan and discussion of how real love in reality TV rarely lasts.

15. Dear Toasters: Listener Advice ([58:28]–[68:10])

• Makeup Class for Mom? Joey recommends making it a fun, non-threatening girls’ day rather than a corrective lesson ([59:30]).
• Affiliate Link Drama: Strong advice not to pander to a jealous sister over affiliate earnings—“This is deeper than links...your sister hates you!” ([63:49]).
• Saying ‘Pussy’ in Corporate Settings: Claudia assures the writer not to stress; no one is thinking about it as much as she is ([67:03]).
• Costco Sheet Recommendations: Hot tip—Kirkland white sheets “600 thread count, hotel fresh!” ([65:18]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Joey, on his Toast gains:
  “A bevy of new Toasters followers and a new lease on life.” ([01:10])
• Claudia sums up her dream:
  “My dream job is not needing one.” ([39:37])
• On influencer trips:
  “The more than three is considered a gang—a gangbang!” – Joey ([14:51])
• On fashion:
  “Everything looks leather and, like, tight and not breathable. I could never.” – Joey on Chrome Hearts ([32:56])
• On food service past:
  “I just loved the theater of it...carrying the plates and being dramatic.” ([16:20])

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Highlight Timestamps

• Joey Recaps His Toast Experience: [01:10]
• Holiday Stories & Piccolo the Dog: [02:45]
• Romy & Michele Quotes: [06:05]
• Lady Gaga Before Fame: [09:26]
• Joey Sings ‘Show Me Love’: [11:00]
• Jersey Shore Wedding Recap: [19:58]
• Netflix Screeners & Emily in Paris: [22:25]
• Timothée & Kylie’s Red Carpet: [31:01]
• Summer House Drama: [42:11]–[46:07]
• Dear Toasters Segment Begins: [58:28]
• Costco Sheets Hot Tip: [65:18]
• Series Wrap on Joey: [70:54]
• Joey Sings Out: [71:19]

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Tone & Language

The chemistry between Joey and Claudia is breezy, irreverent, and deeply pop-culture fluent. The banter is playful, occasionally self-deprecating, and full of in-jokes and pop references that make listeners feel like part of an inner circle. Both hosts are unafraid of blunt honesty and pepper their conversation with camp, warmth, and occasional colorful language.

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For New & Returning Listeners:

• Episode delivers: A mix of nostalgic pop-culture, personal storytelling, playful gossip, influencer tea, reality TV breakdowns, and truly unfiltered listener Q&A.
• Best moments: Candid stories from Joey’s life, the pair’s loyal/fun movie debates, and frank, funny listener advice.
• Insider feel: Like eavesdropping on a sharp, funny group text about everything pop and current in digital and entertainment culture.

Transcript

[A]

Good morning, girlies. It's the Toast.

It's Jackson Claude and we're your host.

It's your favorite show, the Fast 5 things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly. It's the Toast. They sound amazing. Welcome back to the Toast and Happy Tuesday. Which, you know, Tuesday always feels like a fresh beginning, beginning of the week. But today is sort of the closing of a chapter.

[B]

It is.

[A]

Co host. Today is Joey Master, his fourth and final episode.

[B]

I'm upset about this now. When is she coming back in the new year?

[A]

So the show ends for the season this week and then next week there's no show. Well, just.

[B]

Did you order a third chair for me just to sit right in the middle.

[A]

So I didn't.

[B]

Remember when. Remember when Margo used to sit here and press buttons?

[A]

Oh, I would love that. You know, I spoke to Margo yesterday. Margo also hosted a bunch of times and we did a sort of roundup at the end, you know, taking a look back at a glance and she said, you know, she got a lot out of her time here. Yeah, I would love to know, Joey, what have you taken from this experience, from your multiple? Like, what are you walking away with?

[B]

Deal, brand deals, tons of pr, a bevy of new toasty followers. Thank you. And a new lease on life.

[A]

And what is that lease on life?

[B]

Well, I'm just more confident. I'm more sure of myself. Yeah, I, you know, I feel. I feel accomplished.

[A]

You look amazing.

[B]

It is so cold out today. It's literally four point. It's minus four degrees C. No, it's not.

[A]

It's like 18. I checked.

[B]

I'm talking Celsius, though. Oh, I'm not. Sorry. Oh, I'm so sorry.

[A]

Oh, my God, I forgot I wasan. Yeah, they go Celsius metric system over there, but yeah, so yes, it's minus 4 Celsius. And I hear you're wearing a shirt that you purchased in Paris.

[B]

I did. You know, I did a lot of vintage shopping there. And Western culture, believe it or not, is very. It's very big over there. So I got, you know, some.

[A]

This is probably from, say, Western culture is very big over there. Oh, oh, you mean like, not the actual West?

[B]

Like, like, like Western? Like, like American Western?

[A]

Because you have horses on your shirt. Yeah, I'm crying up.

Like, Western culture. Crack up. So you got that shirt at what, a vintage shop?

[B]

A vintage shop in the Lambre district. I got a bunch of stuff and it's cheap there too.

[A]

And you bought me Nothing. To be clear.

[B]

I have it at home. You have to come over. We missed our dinner party this weekend.

[A]

Well, you have to invite me.

[B]

I had a holiday party I had.

[A]

To go to over for dinner and he wasn't available.

[B]

Who else came?

[A]

No one.

[B]

Oh, so you didn't do it?

[A]

Sometimes I like to just, like, pretend like I'm gonna do a dinner party, but, like, I know I'm not.

[B]

You know, you have a big dining room table.

[A]

Yeah. And I would love for you to come over and sit at it.

[B]

Yeah, I would love to.

[A]

Holiday plans. Walk me through yours, Joey. Well, with your boyfriend.

[B]

No, we're not. He goes away with his family every year. No, none at all. He goes. He goes out with his family every year. They have this, like, big house they do with, like, all the kids and.

[A]

Oh, where are they going?

[B]

They go to Florida.

[A]

Lovely.

[B]

Yeah, they'll probably be by your. By your homegirl.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

So I'll be home with my family. I do a Christmas Eve at my father's house, and I. I do. We do the seafood, of course, special, so we do all, you know, the, The. The. The crustaceans and, you know, little fishies. And then the next day, now that I'm a mother, last year my kid was too small to live. Really appreciate thing, Christmas and the holidays. This year he's gonna, like, you know, he knows who Santa is and everything like that, so.

[A]

And when you say your kid, you're.

[B]

Of course referring to your dog Piccolo. Yeah, of course.

[A]

And what is your dog's name?

[B]

Because you call your dog everything else.

[A]

And what is the name?

[B]

His. His legal name is Piccolo.

[A]

Okay, what is that?

[B]

It means, like, little and Italian.

[A]

Okay, I forget that you're, like, authentic Italian.

[B]

Yeah, Piccolo. And then also it's also a little flute, and it just means tiny and small.

[A]

So cute.

[B]

So. And I call him Peaky. I call him Tweaky.

[A]

Does your family let you bring your dog home?

[B]

Yeah, I bring him everywhere. Oh, yeah, I have. I have. He's my psychiatric service dog, so of course I had to bring him everywhere. I'm mentally ill, so I have my psychiatric team review, and now I have. So I can bring him anywhere. But I don't like to push the limits too much because, you know, sometimes dogs aren't supposed to be certain places.

[A]

Yeah, no, I don't know why I don't know your dad. I just like knowing from your Instagram and I could just see him. Not liking your dog.

[B]

No, he loves my dog.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, no, he Likes your dog. So now that he. My piccolo is. Knows what it is. I want to have. I wanted to wake up Christmas morning at my house, of course. So I'm gonna.

[A]

Family tradition.

[B]

So I'm gonna have my sister and my dad, everyone crash at my. My house so we can wake up there and then, you know, and just cook and be merry.

[A]

I don't know if I realize that you have a sister.

[B]

I have two sisters.

[A]

I feel like you would be a great brother. Like, I would love to have you as my brother.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you think that they appreciate you?

[B]

No, I think they just, like. They roll their eyes at me a lot and just, like, you know, take me for granted.

[A]

You think so?

[B]

Nothing for granted, but, you know, they could. They don't have the lore of Joey.

[A]

Kamasta in the home, like the stardom of their brother.

[B]

Know.

[A]

Do you think that they find you, like. Do you feel misunderstood?

[B]

No, they understand. They're just jealous that I am the Mary and they're the Rota. You know what I mean?

[A]

That's an elite reference.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

I'm the Mary, you're the Rota.

[B]

Yeah, she is. They're coming back.

[A]

Who? Romeo Michelle?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Are they?

[B]

Yes. For second movie.

[A]

Do you feel like you're. And you know what? I need them to not do that.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Romeo and Michelle is a perfect film.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Do you feel like you're more of a Romy or more of a Michelle?

[B]

I am more of a Michelle.

[A]

You are more of a Michelle.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I, like, hate myself because I think I'm more of a Romeo. And I hated roaming. She was. First of all, she was wrong. We can get in that fight. Like, she's wrong.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And she was just like a. And like, Michelle was better. And Michelle ends up being their ticket out because.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Sandy.

[B]

Sandy Frank. She goes. She gets. She hooks up with him. And they get that boutiques where they fold scarves.

[A]

Let's put scars. Okay. We need to watch Romeo Michelle today.

[B]

I know. Could we drag one of your mattresses into the living room and have a big, cozy movie night?

[A]

Or you just get in the bed.

[B]

Yeah, there we go.

[A]

In my room too.

[B]

Oh, me.

[A]

What's your favorite movie?

[B]

It is Ron. Michelle's high school union.

[A]

Robbie. Michelle is, like, definitely one of my top 10 favorite.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What do you think is, like, the best quote from that movie? Because Jackie and I are always saying, what kind of business y' all in.

[B]

Yeah, that's good. Can we get two burgers? Who? Diet Cokes into fries and. Yeah, for businesswomen. Do you guys have some sort of businesswoman special?

[A]

What kind of business y' all in?

[B]

Yeah. She goes. She goes. She looks at her. It's the best movie ever. If you haven't seen it, ladies toasters, do yourself a toasty favor.

[A]

It is the best movie ever. And I think a lot of people, when they talk about Lisa Kudrow, they talk about friends. And sometimes more recently, they talk about the comeback, which are HBO show which is coming.

[B]

Oh, my God. I watched that the morning my mother died.

[A]

It's.

[B]

Oh, that's the only thing that comforted me. I watch every season of it, but it's like, that's. That's my favorite favorite series ever.

[A]

You know, we were watching the Bratz movie when we found out that our father died.

[B]

Who's in that? Is it cartoon based?

[A]

You know who's. No, it's not a cartoon. Good question, though.

[B]

Oh, this is so weird. The cap comes off.

[A]

Yeah, that's what happens with water bottles. You take the cap off.

[B]

No, but in Europe, it's. We have it.

I was like, well, now what do I do with this? I'm gonna lose it.

[A]

So sorry. That's so American of us to have water. I forgot you were coming to this studio today. I should have had your. Your international beverages shipped in.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Yeah, we were watching the Bratz movie when we found out our dearly beloved father had passed away. And no, it's not a.

Cartoon. It's like a straight to dvd, like, young adult film. It was so weird.

[B]

They all have lip injections.

[A]

It was just beyond. And the only recognizable actor who you would know from it, and same me as well, is the main brat. Her mom is played by the mom from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. The big woman with the curly hair.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I love her.

[B]

Kathy and Jimmy. No, that's not her.

[A]

It's not Kathy Najimi. No, she's from Hocus Pocus.

[B]

That's. Hocus Pocus is not the same lady.

[A]

No, it's not Catherine.

[B]

She's not in the Greek movies.

[A]

No, she's not in the Greek. She might. No, she's not in the Greek movies. And she's certainly not the mom.

[B]

Aiden's in it, though.

[A]

Aiden is in it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Such a good movie.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you know that Tom Hanks is a producer of that movie?

[B]

No, but, you know, I wanted to have sex with Tom Hanks from A League of Their Own.

[A]

I've never seen that movie.

[B]

He was so hot.

[A]

I thought it was a. A woman movie.

[B]

It is, but he played the coach.

[A]

Of course. A coach had to be a man.

[B]

Yeah, he. Because he hurt his foot and he couldn't go out to war, so he had to stay back.

[A]

What do you think of Rosie o'? Donnell?

[B]

I loved her back in the day when. Okay, this is gonna be horrible to say. I loved her back in the day when she was on a Rosie show and she was talking like a. Like a big, you know, like a cozy, like, Italian mom and like, whatever, like, you know, and then she. When she turned into like, like, I don't know, like, you era. A super dyke maybe.

[A]

Oh, wow. Okay. We're just going straight for it today.

[B]

Yeah, like a super, like, like, like getting involved in scandals and like, it just. It took. It took the comfort, the coziness of me laying on her bosom and like.

[A]

Right. Big Italian mother energy.

[B]

Yeah. It was just too. I mean, I'm sure she was standing up for what she believes in, but I got. It was just too much for me.

[A]

Yeah. You know, I actually ran into her once at. In a hotel lobby. We were both checking into the Four Seasons, and she, like, striked up a conversation with me, like, asked me what I did. And I was like, explaining just like, whatever. Jackie was there too, I think. Olivia.

[B]

Was she hitting on you?

[A]

No, no. She was, like, genuinely curious how, like, these three little girls were staying at the Four Seasons. Like, I like, where are your parents? And then she ended up tweeting, I just met this girl with no job on Twitter. Like, it was kind of an interesting interaction, like something I don't think about often.

[B]

Do you have her behind the curtain? Is that what's happening? She's coming out.

[A]

Who is the most famous person you've ever met, Joey?

[B]

Oh.

I don't know. Maybe Lady Gaga.

[A]

When did you meet Lady Gaga?

[B]

I was friends with Gaga before she was. Before she was really big.

[A]

Stephanie.

[B]

Stephanie German Otter. Were you? Yes. So back in the day, my friend Colleen, who I worked with him, we were to max together. I always Ladies Starlight. She was her. Like they. They ladies was go. Go dancing at this bar called St. Jerome down in on Rivington Street. And so we would all hang out there all the time. Sometimes I'd get on there and just an underwear. Underwear and circle. Go dancing. So she used to. She was dating the bartender Luke at the time.

[A]

So was she. Had she released Just Dancing?

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[A]

So that doesn't really count.

[B]

This is.

[A]

I said the most famous person, like, before she was famous. Doesn't count.

[B]

No, no, I've seen her afterwards.

[A]

Oh, you have?

[B]

Yes, yes.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah. Not. Not. But not socially. Like in the same room. Like. Like.

[A]

Like at a concert?

[B]

No.

No, like at. Like a. Like a cocktail party. Like a event. Like, event. Like, like a. Like a media event type thing.

[A]

Okay. Media event.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Joey, do you have a good singing voice? I feel like you might.

[B]

I. I could. Yeah. In the. Right. In the right side. Not as much as. I don't have. I.

[A]

Well, of course, of course.

[B]

No. Do you know that. Well, as my friend.

Who'S Judy Chesa.

[A]

Melania.

[B]

Melania.

[A]

Okay. But you have my song.

[B]

I have your song on your ipod. On my favorite. So every time I'll be. Listen, I forget that they're on there, and then all of a sudden they'll just pop up and, like, it'll be such a good surprise. That was a bop bop.

[A]

I got more music in 2026. So you say you have a decent singing voice?

[B]

I think so. I mean, I could hit.

[A]

Let's hear it.

[B]

Okay. Well, my one claim to fame is, you know the show me love?

If you want me, you got to show me love. Well, in the beginning. In the beginning part of it, she does. She belts like this. The. The first lyric is a belt, like. And I can hit that.

[A]

Let's hear it. Move your microphone like, a little bit back if it's gonna be loud. Yeah.

I know the note you're referring to.

[B]

Now you've got to show me love. Yeah. Wait, do you think there's any music producers looking? Wait. Promises you never don't go. I've got more than my share.

[A]

You can't see your head. That was first.

[B]

That'll wake you up.

[A]

You did hit that note. I just want to say that.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

The end was, like, not my favorite, but you hit that note.

[B]

That's. Oh, that's the only note I know.

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

Is that C minus?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you know the notes?

[A]

No, I don't. I wish I did. Like, Charlie Puth. How he could be like F. Yeah.

[B]

When you were recording your song, did you have, like. Were you, like, leaning into it, like, being dramatic? Like, just for. Just for. Of course I was. Were you, like, would you hold one ear when you didn't have to.

[A]

I have videos of it. So my first song I recorded, like, in LA at a studio, and there was, like, a bunch in the room, and I was being such a diva. And then my second song.

[B]

Did you ask for peppermint tea or something dramatic?

[A]

No, I was being like, I think I had, like.

A Brett. Like a vocal steamer that I had in my hotel room and pastels. And then the second one I recorded remotely. So, like, the producer I was using was based in Arizona. He also produced the Toast theme song, Shout Out Curtis. And then I was in New York and, like, I was paying by the hour and I was like, let's just get in and out. Like, I was not. It wasn't. The fantasy was over.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah. I would love to see your musical career era.

[B]

Well, who knows? Maybe it'll pop off.

[A]

I mean, you've manifested quite a bit on this show. Put it out there. What would your stage name be? Joey C. Lil Joe.

[B]

I don't know. Maybe Wiggles.

[A]

Beautiful.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now you're here to join me. Today we have Fast Five. I might have chosen four stories. Like, I. I couldn't remember. We also have Dear Toasters. I love to.

[B]

Oh, I love Dear Toasters.

[A]

Have you. On Tuesday, we actually had somebody write in specifically looking for advice from you.

[B]

For a Toasty Tuesday.

[A]

For Toasty Tuesday, they said, dear Joey, oh, my God. We would like to get that girl, you know, the help that she needs.

[B]

Give her, her, her flowers.

[A]

If she's coming to you for help. Sounds like she's in dire straits.

[B]

Must be severe.

[A]

Joey, what are your hopes and dreams for 2026?

[B]

Oh, my hopes and dreams would be, I just want my dog to, like, become a better child and learn how to behave better.

[A]

That's such a real request.

[B]

That's what I would like to.

Lose, like, 25 pounds.

[A]

Oh, girl, you and me both.

[B]

Yeah. I would like to really focus on my cooking career. I really swear.

[A]

Aligned goals.

[B]

Yes. I want to do my cooking career more. So I just have to get in the kitchen and start burning.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, start doing it. And I like to have a cookbook. Love that. I would like to go on a brand trip. Oh, I. I was a little upset that I was not picked. Triple one chart. Can I tell you an insider secret?

[A]

Get Joey on the trip. Like, this is.

[B]

Well, I. So she invited Nicole and. Yeah. So then. So Nicole obviously couldn't go because she has 1500 kids and she's like. So I took her phone and replied back, I can't make it, but my friend Joey would be amazing to come on the trip. I don't think she replied. Oh, you know, I don't know she replied. I didn't check her. I haven't checked the calls, messages, cosmetics.

[A]

You're wrong for that. Like, you need Jo. Your trip for morale for content. Like.

[B]

Well, they have that new gay on the block, that Dylan. That Dylan. Me in the ass. I love him. And I love, I mean he deserves all his, his flowers to say.

[A]

Like, I followed him before everybody else. I saw the first video, Shut the up.

[B]

And me, I love him. So I'm happy for him too.

[A]

Getting along, swimming.

[B]

Yes. We follow each other. But yeah, I'm. I'm proud.

[A]

Tart has like a gay limit.

[B]

I. I would, I would hope so. Well, you know, the more than three is considered a gang.

[A]

A gang bang.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, you should be careful.

[A]

Well, shout out Lizzie, my former assistant who now runs those tar trips.

[B]

Oh, does she?

[A]

Lizzy, Lizzie you've definitely met.

[B]

Well, can I just come and like work the front desk and just reap the benefits of the first class flight?

[A]

For sure. You'll be the flight attendant on the jet?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Getting everyone there.

[B]

Are they on a private jet?

[A]

Sometimes, yeah. Did you ever work in food service?

[B]

I worked at a place called Bow 111 on Avenue C and I got fired twice.

Because I closed. Because basically you're in charge of like opening. I guess the lead waiter, waitress at the time was in charge of, of like opening, closing, restaurant. We closed it like 2am we served. Our kitchen was open to like 2am and I was there by the time after like midnight. No one was coming in. I wasn't sitting there for another hour. So then I was like. So I would just like leave early and close the restaurant and then like the boss would like walk by because he lives in the neighborhood and he found out and he fired me.

[A]

I just feel like that's not that big of a deal.

[B]

Yeah, no, I didn't like steal anything. Well, I did. Yeah.

[A]

Well, of course. Food.

[B]

Yeah, food and. Food and wine.

[A]

Food. Free food.

[B]

Yep, we got free food. But then the thing is, we had a sake. Like the sake that we would serve. Like there was bartenders or the drink. There was. We had house infused sakes and we'd have them in the place.

[A]

Still open?

[B]

No, it's closed down. It's gone. It was a Vietnamese plate restaurant. I know I'm very global. And then so I would go into the back like we were serving and I would just start like, I would like kneel down by like the, where the pictures were and I just fill up like water glasses of the, of the pineapple infused sake and just slam it.

[A]

I could see that for you. And so you didn't feel like food service was your future?

[B]

No, I, because I didn't. I, I Loved it. Because I love the theater of it. I love, you know, carrying the plates and being dramatic and like, talking to.

[A]

People and like, putting on a performance.

[B]

Yeah. But I was. I was really bad at it because I would forget things all the time and then like, forget to put entrees in. Then I have to, like, go and like, beg the person to, like, give me this. Someone else's table.

[A]

Yeah. And did you write things down or you're more of like a memorizer?

[B]

I think I'm good at memorizing. But I did have to write things down.

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

But then that's what I hated about. Because that I didn't even have registers then. This is the 40s, so we had to use smoke signals, believe it or not.

[A]

Right. How did you, like, communicate? You wrote it down and then just like, passed it on?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

They had to read your handwriting.

[B]

Read the handwriting. But there was like, shorthand. Like, it's like two chicks. Like, chx.

[A]

Yeah, it's chicken. Yeah.

[B]

But then at the end of the night, you had to like, get all the little receipts together and like, type it. Like I had to like a little glass on and type like in a calculator and like press all these buttons and there's paper, stacks of papers and.

[A]

Did you make good tips?

[B]

I guess for the time, maybe, but I would just. Just go out to the bars with it right after I got out, of course.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

And spend it all.

[A]

Who was your first boyfriend ever?

[B]

Boyfriend was Mark.

[A]

Okay, Mark. Tell me about him.

[B]

He was.

I don't even know if he's out yet.

Yeah, his name is Mark and he was a. This is. This is just after 9, 11. And he was. Well, he was a Marine. He was a marine. So he was. He was. He was deployed. He was. He was deployed.

[A]

Oh, my God, look at him.

[B]

So I met him. He was a marine and he was like a voice. We went at the Coliseum.

[A]

That's our Coliseum.

[B]

No, the Coliseum Gay bar in Surreyville, New Jersey. And he was blonde and had like a high and tight cut. And his, his like, family was like. It's like, like a very religious family. And he was a Marine and. Yeah, but he was bad news. But I loved it. He was like, invite involved in like shady, like he, like scams and scandals and stuff. And then so he took me on the best trips and bought me the best bags, like all the time, really.

[A]

He had a lot of money for being in the marines.

[B]

They got a lot of money from his. From his side quests of Being of doing. Of shady.

[A]

Interesting. And what kind of bags? Bags you still have to stay.

[B]

Yeah, like Louis Vuitton bags. I. I had the first. I don't even think it's her big bag. Remember that Balenciaga bag with the strings hanging off it?

[A]

The city bag?

[B]

Yeah. I had. I got that like, when it first came out. I was like. I was like such a bad.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I felt just like one of the Olsen twins.

[A]

Yeah. I have one actually to this day. We were like, as kids, we were not kids. I guess. Teenagers. We were obsessed with those bags.

[B]

Are you going to let Ruby carry it and.

[A]

Well, so, like, no, because blood sugar, sort of like controversial.

[B]

Oh, meow.

[A]

And so I'm just hanging on to it. Like, I'm not going to sell it or anything. I'm hanging on to it.

[B]

I forgot they, they, they.

[A]

They were being free.

[B]

Demonic children.

[A]

Yeah. Right, right, right. So just in case it comes back, I hung on to one.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But we were obsessed. Like, every picture from my childhood, me and my sisters were like, chubby with.

[B]

Valencia, huge sunglasses covering your whole face.

[A]

Your first boyfriend?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

That speak to him? Yes.

[B]

His birthday was just this week.

[A]

You're kidding. Facebook.

[B]

No, I remember it.

[A]

That's really sweet.

[B]

We did it for years, for like seven years.

[A]

So it was like a significant relationship.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And why didn't it work out?

[B]

Because he just wasn't able to come out of the closet.

[A]

That'll do it.

[B]

Yeah. And I was just, you know, and we were. It was just getting toxic.

[A]

Yeah. And then before we dive into the stories, how was your inner saboteur today?

[B]

I did have a little bit of a breakdown this morning. Getting dressed. I had five different outfits on. I was feel. You know, I had red wine last night.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I had. I hosted a dinner party last night.

[A]

Wait, you. Okay, first of all, like, host one more dinner party and not invite me, like. And you're not gonna be walking back here. Okay. How many times have you on the podcast before I get invited to dinner? First of all. Second of all, I can't believe I've been sitting with you for so long and not actually about the major event you went to this weekend.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Jersey Shore wedding. We talked about you on the toast a couple of days ago. Because Sammy sweetheart got married.

[B]

She did.

[A]

And the craziest thing about you is, like, you're just a part of this. Of friends that, like, you don't understand. Like, my obsession.

[B]

I know when you come to Jersey Shore, I forget that they're famous.

[A]

It's like not only are they famous, they are deeply.

[B]

Especially Paulie. Like, everyone freaks out about Paulie.

[A]

Maybe you don't get it, cuz you're not American, but like deeply embedded in American culture. Like I. Especially people my age. We die for them. How was the wedding?

[B]

It was flawless. Okay, first of all, when she walked down the aisle, I thought I was seeing AI. She was. When I say flaw, someone's flawless. There was not a hair out of place, not a. Like a gloss lump on the side. Like she was just like AI image walking down the aisle. Flawless. The wedding was beautiful. There was a scandal because this is the same place that Angelina's got married. That. The wedding that didn't last.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And also the wedding that everyone quit the show because. Right, because they made those bad speeches and stuff.

[A]

Is it Jersey?

[B]

It's in Jersey. It's called the Park Chateau.

[A]

And the group in general, like when they get together, do they still party hard? Like drink?

[B]

No, I mean, we, me, Nicole, Me and Nicole and Dina do.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Vinnie wasn't feeling well, so he was like, you know, he was, you know, he was like, you know, I don't think he was drinking. He was like sipping a tea and being dramatic.

[A]

That is so.

[B]

He was so dramatic about it. He was like sniffling, like, relax.

[A]

Yeah, right?

[B]

And Paulie and Nikki, I think they, I think everyone else had some, some drinks, but they're not partying like that. Jenny was slamming drinks.

[A]

What is she like?

[B]

She's so funny. She's like. She's just, you know, she's just all. She's off the cuff. She's just very like always on and always. Oh, something's always going on.

[A]

I'd like literally live for this group. And the fact that you just like we're at this wedding. I was watching your story. It's like, it's so crazy. What do they make of you?

[B]

They love me.

[A]

Because you entered the group as like Nicole's friend, but now you're very much friends with everyone.

[B]

I mean, it's like brothers and sisters. We crack on each other. Like, we all like, you know, they call me Digital Talent. Like, because screen. Because, like, because when we go to event. One time we went to visit a big MTV event and there was a red carpet and there was two separate carpets and I had to. We were all walking together and they made me leave the line to go to the digital talent section. They'll never let me live this down. So they call me. So they say, joe, this is Joey. We have Joey from Digital Talent. Here. So, like, the whole team says it, like, it's a stole of joke to this day. I know. It's like, bye, guys. I'll see you over on the other side. And I was like, with fucking bloggers. I was like, hey, guys.

[A]

Laughing so hard like your life is seriously not real.

[B]

I know.

[A]

And I did want to share with you that I'm gonna. What?

[B]

Oh, sorry, I forgot to tell you. I just became. And I have to get you on if you're not already. My friend works in Netflix, and he came over my house the other day, and he put his login in. So I have the. I can see all the shows and previews are coming out in the next, like, two months that aren't released yet.

[A]

Just the previews or you watch.

[B]

No, you watch the whole thing. So there's a wait.

[A]

That's amazing. I didn't know Netflix employees had that.

[B]

They do. And so. So do journalists. So I can get you on the list.

[A]

Okay. And so who, like, what's on there?

[B]

Okay, so we watched. There's a new Knives out that Billy and I watch. He likes that movie. It's three hours long. Very good.

[A]

I fell asleep during the second one.

[B]

But, I mean, this is. I have goosebumps. Look, I see the fifth season of Emily in Paris is up, and I am not. I have to. I have to. First of all, I have to get myself situated. I have to get into, you know, the preacher mindset. Yeah, preacher mindset. I have to, you know, put the translations on, and I have to, you know, just have a baguette next to me at all times before I. Before I dive in. But this is the season. She's in Rome.

[A]

What do you make of Emily in Paris? As you know, it's kind of the retelling of your story.

[B]

I mean, it's a little. It's. It's kind of, you know, it's. It's mocking my culture, I think, a little bit. But I do like it because. Because I like to, like, see, and I'll be like, oh, my God, that's right. That's where I did this.

[A]

That's where we did that. Yeah, I get it.

[B]

I like. I think it's, you know, it's. It's the. It's the modern. The modern fix for Sex and City fiends that we needed. Like, it's. It's campy. It's. You know, it's the Darren Star of it all.

[A]

And you're still loving heated rivalry.

[B]

Oh, have you seen any of it?

[A]

No.

[B]

Season Episode three. It wasn't about the main characters. New two new characters. The guy that makes smoothies and the hockey player had started a love affair. Very hot.

[A]

He's with the other hockey player.

[B]

No, there's no. There's a third. Third queer. A third gay.

[A]

Do you identify as queer?

[B]

No, I think that's for like.

Not me.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

I think I need a septum piercing and to be. So how do you identify a bad love that me hook. Me sleeping with Matt is like the least interesting thing about me.

[A]

Completely.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like. And it's not. That's not that exciting. There's nothing really to. I wouldn't want to talk about to anyone anyway. Like, I'm just praying for it to be over every time it happens.

[A]

I feel that wholeheartedly, you know.

[B]

So I don't consider like, you know, anything.

[A]

But you do identify as trans?

[B]

I do.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

If. What if I can get into a better school or get a bigger contract.

[A]

You're also Native American.

[B]

Yeah, anything. I need to get the. A bigger PR package.

[A]

Of course. Well, Joey, we have a lot to do here today. We've kind of just a lot of work to get together without doing what we need, we need to get done. So.

[B]

I wish I was wearing your outfit so I'm really cozy. You look so cozy.

[A]

Thank you so much. Joey, are you ready for the Fast 5 stories?

[B]

Chanel?

[A]

Yes, I am wearing Chanel ballet flats.

[B]

Is that outfit Chanel?

[A]

No, it's Revolve. Oh, they don't make Chanel size.

[B]

Triple Revolve is fantastic too.

[A]

Yes, it is. Joey, are you ready for the Fast 5 stories?

[B]

I've never been more ready.

[A]

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That's V I v r e l l e dot com. Our code is TOAST50 for 50 off one month of membership. Today's episode of the Toast is also brought to you by Eero. EERO delivers WI fi that just works. It's fast, it's reliable, it's secure, and it's powerful. ERA provides a strong, consistent connection for all of your devices in every corner of your home and even outside with the Eero Outdoor 7, which can extend your WI fi to porches, patios, backyards, year round, no matter the weather. So it's so important to have good WI fi in your house. Not even if you're like an elite podcaster. If you have different TVs where you stream, use Netflix. It's really important to have premium WI Fi and a lot of like I just moved into an apartment that had a complete dead zone in my bedroom, exactly where my TV was. And the guy who installed my WI fi was like, I can't even help you get an ero. That was the first time I ever heard of Eero. I now have three in my home. I have the best WI fi. 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Like I haven't been living my life to the fullest. Today's episode is also brought to you by quo, formerly known as Open Phone. So let's talk about something every business owner knows all too, too well. Missed calls. Missing a business call is like watching money fly out the window and straight into your competitor's hands. And that's why today's episode is brought to you by quo, formerly known as Open Phone, the smarter way to run your business communications. What is Quo? It is the number one business phone system. It's built for 2025, not 1995. And it's rated the top choice for customer satisfaction with over 3, 000 reviews on G2. So forget juggling multiple phones using a landline. Quill works right from an app on your phone or your computer. And your whole team team can share one number. You can collaborate on calls, texts, like a shared inbox almost. So you're giving faster responses and getting happier customers. Quote is not just a phone system, it's a smart system. 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It is so the season of caraway, you guys. It is cozy season. We're making, you know, cozy dishes, one pot dishes. If you're gathering this season, whether you're alone or having people over, you absolutely need something from Caraway. Hosting season is also here if you need new pots, new pans to either cook and host or to bring a nice gift to somebody's house. Caraway is such a great option. So they make everything for the kitchen. Kitchenware, bakeware, food storage, appliances. Like I love their peeler. All these different things that appliances are utensils, cutting boards. Our cutting boards are great. It is premium. So of course you can get these things anywhere. But you're going to want to get them from Caraway 1 because they are so aesthetic. They have so many different colors, metal colors. I have the sage green, but I also just placed a big order for a new blue one. It's also easy cooking. So the ceramics naturally slick surface means minimal oil or butter are required for slide off the pen eggs. Very easy cleaning. If you have a husband who likes to burn everything and you find yourself like literally scrubbing till your fingers bleed, a carry pan will change your life. Just a little soap, little sponge like it's literally could not be easier. It's also well loved. Over a hundred thousand people have rated five stars about their Caraway kitchen and now it's time to try it for yourself. The holidays are closer than ever so get their gift or yours in time. Visit carawayhome.com toasters to take advantage of this limited time offer for up to 20 off your next purchase. Again, that's CarawayHome.com toasters to get new kitchenware before the holidays. Caraway. It's non toxic kitchenware made modern. Kylie and Timothy putting the rumors to bed. Everybody said they're broken up, they're broken up.

[B]

Even Clementine on the red carpet.

[A]

Clementine. They walk the red carpet for his new movie Marty supreme, which a Kardashian are like fully supporting promoting. Haley Bieber was wearing a Marty supreme jacket. Christian posted on Instagram, go see Marty Supreme. It's like his big new movie and there were a couple of rumors that they were broken up, and I never believed them. And the couple, who've been now dating for over two years, stunned on the red carpet in matching neon orange outfits as they posed hand in hand, they.

[B]

Chrome hearts.

[A]

Right? So he's wearing a patent leather, shiny orange suit, pants and a shirt and orange boots. And with a satchel, a black satchel. Ping pong holder. Like, it looks like a ping pong racket holder.

[B]

Didn't he play Willy Wonka?

[A]

He did.

[B]

It's giving me Willy Wonka flashbacks. Like, he went into the orange. Orange area. And, like, in the candy machine, she's.

[A]

Wearing the same orange material in a sultry dress.

[B]

It isn't her.

[A]

She looks so much like him. It was the first time. I remember when Kim went to the Met Gala. Heavenly bodies.

This outfit has, like, a big cross and she's wearing a big cross on her neck. She looks so much like him now.

[B]

Would you and Ben ever do something like this?

[A]

Quite literally never. Like, and Ben would. Ben and I. I call Ben Bozo when he always is wanting to. Like, if we're going to a wedding and it's black tie, he's going to wear his suit and then have, like. He's like, I have this, like, pink bow tie. And I'm like, bozo, just put on the black bow tie. Like, stop. He's always trying to do something.

[B]

He's trying to flex a little crazy.

[A]

And I call him, like, his Bozo moment. So Ben would love to wear, like, matching neon orange outfits to an event with me. I would quite literally never. And also. So this outfit is custom chrome hearts. And I want to talk about chrome hearts.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know much about it.

[A]

You and everybody else. Like, it's literally a brand. I feel like.

[B]

Is it a religious brand? They have crosses on everything.

[A]

I feel like it's a brand that only exists on Instagram and only celebrities and, like, really wealthy people buy it as, like, some sort of status symbol. I don't know if they have stores.

[B]

I think. I think it's like a showroom in la.

[A]

I've never seen, like, a rack at Saks.

[B]

Like, I've never.

[A]

What the hell is chrome hearts?

[B]

Is it. Is it all couture? Is it?

[A]

It's couture, yeah.

[B]

I think it's just custom couture for everyone. And they sell like. Like, I don't know what it is. I don't think I'd fit into it. I think I'd be sweating and everything. Because everything Looks leather and, like, tight and not breathable. Yeah, I couldn't. I could never.

[A]

Well, I never think Timothy Chalamet's hot unless he's standing next to Kylie and, like, grabbing her ass. And, like, they're being really cutesy on this carpet, so. I happen to think he looks good.

[B]

Well, he's by himself. I don't think he looks too twink. He reminds me of Keebler Elf.

[A]

Did you watch Call me by your name?

[B]

Oh, I've loved that movie.

[A]

You did?

[B]

Yeah, but I wasn't attracted to him in that movie. I was attracted to the one that eats people.

[A]

The cannibal?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And what about the movie did you like?

[B]

I like that it was an emotional gut wrenching. So. I also love that it was in Italy and they were drinking tangerine juice.

[A]

So I've never seen Call me by your name.

[B]

Apricot juice.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

I have seen Broke Back.

[B]

That one. I. That's where I'm from.

[A]

You are giving Broke Back today.

[B]

I. That made me. That was a gut wrenching movie. Gay or straight, no matter what it is, it was a gut wrenching. And I remember I went through a whole box of Kleenex. I was sitting on the bed when my roommate came home and I was. I was inconsolable. I was like, why would someone make this? Yeah, like, when he was holding the shirt, it's like I. I have goosebumps again.

[A]

I saw it during COVID Maybe I'm anemic.

[B]

What's going on?

[A]

I had heard the lore. You always hear, like, Broke Back Mountain. It's almost like a joke now, like in gay culture, like Broke Back.

[B]

But I never seen.

[A]

Exactly. I'd never actually seen the film. During Company. I took it upon myself to watch it. Oh, my God.

[B]

Oh, what a gut feeling. Devastating. Do you know the Michelle Williams and Anne Hathaway were like 15 when they made that movie?

[A]

No, I didn't know.

[B]

They were young. They were. I don't know how old they were. They were young.

[A]

Super young. And who do you find more attractive? Heath Ledger at the time.

[B]

No, Jake Gyllenhaal, always. Really? Yeah.

[A]

I think Heath and Heath was like the toxic one, right? Like, Jake was ready to.

[B]

Yeah, he was the bottom. He wants to get married up. Yeah.

[A]

He was ready to, like, live free and, like, live in sin. And it would be hard, but that's.

[B]

Why he's doing sucking in the alleyway.

[A]

Who. When he was killed, you mean?

[B]

No, when he was like. He like, like was like, just like. He couldn't resist anymore because his boyfriend was away and never hanging out with him anymore, so he has to go get his dick sucked in the alleyway.

[A]

Now, let's say you were living in that time. Do you think you would have been more of a Heath Ledger, More of a Jake Gyllenhaal? Do you think you would have been brave?

[B]

No, I would be the Jake Gyllenhaal probably. Unless I had a lot of money. And then I would be like. Then I'd be like hoes and different zip codes.

[A]

But neither of them had a lot of money, which made them even sadder.

[B]

But they had. They had love and they had dedication.

[A]

It was a really good movie.

[B]

I know. So that's. That's kind of what this movie's about. That's the new how you rivalry is about out. But it's not as like, talk. No one's dead yet. I don't know if that's. They die.

[A]

I have no idea.

[B]

Everyone's dead.

[A]

Right? Spoiler alert. I have no idea what Marty supreme was even about either.

[B]

Is it a Scorsese movie?

[A]

It's giving highbrow. Gwyneth Paltrow's in it.

[B]

Oh, she is.

[A]

Yes. So I feel like I would see it. Like, I would go to the theater.

[B]

No. We'd get like the Amazon stick.

[A]

If you ever wanted to invite me over, like, we could watch it together. I would like that. If we are going to be together. Like, I think we should just watch on me and Michelle.

[B]

Yeah. On the big screen. Yeah.

[A]

How big is the TV in your living room?

[B]

109.

[A]

You're kidding. That's the biggest TV ever.

[B]

And it's in the bedroom, too.

[A]

109 inch TVs. First of all. I love that.

[B]

Thank you. I can't see. I have to. That's the one above the 85, right?

[A]

I. I don't know, because the biggest TV in my house I think is like 75.

[B]

It's like an iPad on the screen, on the. On the floor.

[A]

I have to tell you, I have enormous respect for the 109. Like. Like, there's no such thing as a TV.

[B]

That's. Yeah. They're saying. Then they say, like, you know, feature wall and. And. And a TV is like, is ghost should having a house. I was like, I have both. Both.

[A]

Like, literally. Who cares? Next story. I have been following this saga for almost a year now.

[B]

Excited. Oh, my God.

[A]

You know Hoda left.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And Jenna Bush did. Like Jenna and Friends.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

She did it for a year and eventually, like, we all stopped caring because we thought, like, the weeks after Hoda, we were like, oh, she's going to be replaced by. And then she never picked. So we, like, don't care. Up until yesterday, she was doing Jenna and Friends. Scarlett Johansson, Olivia Mun, everybody, just. But a couple of people had been hosting kind of how, like, you come here, like, Sylvester's.

[B]

The Sylvesters of it all.

[A]

Justin Sylvester, Matt Rogers, Heather McMahon. Heather McMahon. And so they announced this morning that Jenna at 10 o' clock was going to announce her co host. And I was almost positive that it was going to be Justin. When I asked him the. When he was here, I thought maybe he couldn't tell me. He was like, no, I don't think it's gonna be me. And I thought he was just being shy, but to me, it's like he's so obviously the right.

[B]

Are you gonna tell me the answer?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God, I'm so nervous.

[A]

Oh, I don't think you're gonna, like, die for it.

[B]

If it's Ryan Seacrest, I'm leaving.

[A]

It's. It's Chanel Jones.

[B]

Who's that?

[A]

She already works at the Today show. She does the third hour. She's like a newscaster.

[B]

So she's got a. She's got a promotion.

[A]

Yeah. Like, they promoted from within, which I just feel like after a whole year, you're giving us a Scarlett Johansson, like, huge celebrities. It was gonna be a letdown. And Chanel. I'm not saying Chanel Jones is a bad choice. Like, she's a professional newscaster.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

People love her. She went through, like, her husband had cancer and he died. And so people, like, are endeared to her, but them doing this whole.

[B]

They have banter.

[A]

She's go. She's good. She's good. Like, I have no problem with her, but, like, I'm sorry. It should have been Justin.

[B]

It just. It took it to a whole different level as a whole different show. Kathy and Hoda. It brought me back to the cat Kathy Lee days when they were drinking wine on the show. So I like. I like the. May I. If I may say, the tree of it all.

[A]

Yeah, of course. No, like, first of all, Justin is, like, young.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Ushering in, like, a new era. He's gay, he's black. Like, it's. It's never been done before.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's also already on an NBC contract because he hosts E. News, which just got canceled, so he's free. I don't think he would be terribly expensive for the network. Because he's already on contract and it would just be like ushering in this new era. I feel like, who the fuck watches this Today show? But people have been tuning in for like just a. And Matt Rogers, like people love. He's like a young podcaster. I just feel like of all the people they could have chosen. I have no problem with Chanel Jones. I'm sure she's gonna be amazing. But yeah, more of the same. And a whole year just to choose someone from the third hour to the fourth hour.

[B]

I know what you mean. They were stringing us along.

[A]

They were stringing us along. Well, Joey, you get this job.

[B]

Do I get the job?

[A]

Hypothetically?

[B]

Let's get the job.

[A]

How does that work?

[B]

Oh, if I became a third host, I pro.

I probably get fired soon.

[A]

And why.

[B]

I think I would have a slip of a tongue or offend someone or.

[A]

I did already hear today say.

Yeah, you said effortry. Have you said anything else?

[B]

I'm sure I said my ex boyfriend's last name.

[A]

You did.

[B]

That's not out. Yeah.

[A]

Don't worry. Yeah, I guess maybe this is not the right job for you.

[B]

Yeah. I mean not, not on. Not daytime tv, this one, you know, you can. You. You choose to watch this, I'm. This not going to be forced in your face face like when you're washing the dishes.

[A]

What is your dream job Joey can master?

[B]

I don't think it's. I don't dream of having a job. That's the thing. I don't want a job. My dream job would just be a lifestyle guru. Right.

[A]

My dream job is like not needing one.

[B]

Yeah. Not even I would want to do like the Martha Stewart of it all. The kind of garden of it all. Like, I want to have my. I want to have my cookbooks. I don't have a lifestyle. I want them to say like, oh my God, I'm gonna have a joycon master crack Christmas. Yeah. I'm gonna have a Joey cast this summer. That means they'll know exactly what that means. It's the spritzes, it's the lemons, it's the. I want to have like a style be. It's like a style icon.

[A]

Right. Except that, you know, like Martha and Aina, like, they work tremendously hard.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it all looks effortless, but it's endless hours.

[B]

Endless.

[A]

And I don't think that that's the life for us.

[B]

Yeah. And it's not in the cards, but like, we could find a loophole on the Internet, I'm sure.

[A]

Yeah. For sure.

[B]

But yeah, so I'm like, you know, just maybe I would have a line of like, I would start with like, you know, doing Joey Comes to X things and like, and like have like my Sonoma. Yeah. And I'd have like my little collabs and stuff. And then eventually I had my own cookware brand and my own like bedding and decor. I'm like, you like Jonathan Adler boutique.

[A]

Stuff like, like Ed by Ellen DeGeneres.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

She has a home line at like Bed Bath and Beyond.

[B]

You know who my favorite one is? Other celebrity homelines.

[A]

Laura Ashley.

[B]

No, Rachel Zoe.

[A]

We talked about TJ Maxx at TJ Maxx. Obsessed.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Did you watch her debut on Beverly Hills Housewives?

[B]

I watched it at Bravo Con, but I didn't. I wasn't there. I watched it like, you know, from the people on the videos I broke on. I thought it was good.

[A]

Yeah, I think she's a fun addition. She's wealthy and stylish and that's really all I personally asked for from a first time housewife.

[B]

And didn't Rachel Zoe say that she dated Mauricio for like a minute? No, she said her friend did.

[A]

Did. No, she said that when Mauricio, it was announced that he was smashed, by the way, a thousand.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

Smash Jewish king. Even though his recent behavior has been like a little embarrassing. It's fine.

[B]

DJing was skinny jeans on.

[A]

Rachel Zoe said that when Mauricio and Kyle broke up like five of Rachel's. Those friends tried to set her up because like she's eligible. They're both Jewish.

[B]

Like, yeah, yeah, why not?

[A]

But I don't think it was like.

[B]

But now Kyle's a dyke, a lesbian, allegedly a bisexual. What was she. Remember she was doing this weird music videos with that other woman.

Wow.

[A]

Now what do you think?

[B]

Wow, the relationship.

[A]

I feel like there's a very complicated relationship between gay men and lesbian women. Sometimes it's a love affair and sometimes like, you know, there's a little bit of.

[B]

Oh, I'm pretty sure.

[A]

What do you think about lesbian?

[B]

Oh, I love it.

[A]

Do you think they love you?

[B]

I think so. I think so. Because they need feminine energy around at all times.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

I like it because, you know, of the obvious. I, you know, I need some drywall installed or some Sheetrock. Those are my girls. They're gonna get it. If you need a stud gun.

[A]

Speaking of Mauricio being embarrassing being a dj, let's just segue a little bit.

[B]

If that ever happens to you, I'm gonna have to call you out on that.

[A]

Oh, my God. Please. Well, similar. You know Kyle Cook from my arch nemesis from Summer House.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

To the Summer House.

[B]

Is that the one that made this the. The spritz gate?

[A]

Yes, exactly. Like, literally, my nemesis. I will seriously never dislike, never not despise him. And he was, like, talking to Taylor Strecker, being like, I don't have a problem with Claudia and Ben. Like, I really like them. Like, we literally hate you. Like, don't even try. Like, I will hate you to the day I die. And, like, you could try apologizing. Try apologizing. I'm a forgiving person.

[B]

That's a start.

[A]

Why don't you at least try? Yeah. So the trailer for the new season of Summer House dropped, and I think.

[B]

A lot of people thought, like, was lighting up.

[A]

Yes. Once Paige left, like, it would be a doozy, but it's giving not doozy, and it's giving a lot of issues in Kyle and Amanda's relationship. There's, like, a lot of speculation and, like, pretty much like, confirmation that they're separated, living apart, although neither of them have confirmed it. And they both, like, kind of keep leaning into the rumors, like making tick tocks but not telling us what's happening.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And the big moment that people are taking away from this trailer is Amanda is telling a story that her husband, Kyle Cook, slept at a fan's apartment. So Kyle and Amanda Petula's marital struggles will play out in the forthcoming season of Summer House House. She's saying this in the trailer. I wanted him to stop going out and partying. And he found a career where he literally has to go out late and.

[B]

Party as a DJ.

[A]

Cook, 43, is then seen telling his co star, Carl, I played the biggest gig of my life. But Amanda couldn't care less. I don't know what matters to her anymore. And then in a later scene, Amanda is talking to Sierra and Lindsay, and she said Kyle fell asleep at some fan's apartment and came home at like 6:30 in the morning.

[B]

Well, we all know what he's doing there.

[A]

Of course. I.

[B]

And now, I mean, was it a fan of a lady fan department or a man fans?

[A]

I'm gonna. I don't think there are a lot of man fans of Summer House. Like, I'm gonna say it's a woman.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And here's the thing. This is obviously the craziest thing ever. Like, jail for Kyle doing that to his wife.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But of all the Kyle Cook things, I don't know why? This is like. He's literally like the worst man husband ever. Like, we know this. He's cheated on Amanda. He has said horrible things to her. Like. Like every season it's like, what fresh hell is.

[B]

Did they meet on the show?

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Every season it's like, what fresh hell is Kyle going to inflict on his poor wife this season? So this is not that crazy in the grand scheme for a normal person. Obviously, this is terrible for Kyle. It's like, oh, yeah, well, it's Kyle. He is who he is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What you want about him? And I just wonder, like.

When does. Where does it. When did. Where does this go where? She's like, she has up until this point, not divorced him. They have. Have love for one another.

[B]

So they have kids.

[A]

No, I mean, I just. Easy break.

[B]

I just think. I mean, I don't know much about this couple, but I do know, like. Like, behaviors like this. He needs to get whatever's going on out of his system. There's. There's some. His inner cyber tour is coming out, and it's now. What is his ninth job? He's DJing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. So the DJing. And it's a new thing.

[A]

He started, like, a year ago.

[B]

Why don't you start DJing, like, you know, like, brand events and stuff instead of doing nightclubs where you have to, like.

[A]

I think he does, but love.

[B]

Oh, multitasking.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I just think. I don't know. I can. Also being on a reality show when you're married. Does she sleep at the house, too? Yeah. Oh, so she came on the show.

[A]

Yep. Oh, they're both, like, stars on the.

[B]

Show, but they got. They didn't meet on the show.

[A]

No, he. She came on his. As his girlfriend and then eventually became friends with everybody and is a main cast member now for many years. Oh, yeah. I just feel like of all the things he's done, like, this is on par with the worst of it. But it's not the worst. Like, he's just, like, a bad guy. But Travis really likes him. So, like, it seems like.

[B]

Is he like, the Jax Taylor of Summer House? Oh, yeah, that's what it seems like.

[A]

And, you know, Summer House is supposed to be about this show of, like, young singles in their 20s going to the Hamptons every weekend, and Kyle's, like.

[B]

Well over 40, and so I have a chance.

[A]

Yes. And a lot of the people in the house during the summer, like, are in their 30s, and they don't go out so much anymore. And now some of the younger people that go out till six in the morning and it's like Kyle's like literally coming home with these 21, 22, 23 year old castmates. He's over 40. He's the last one up. He's DJing in the living room. Like it's sad.

[B]

And will you stop me if that happens to me? No. You're just gonna let me do it?

[A]

It's different. Like you can just do it. I can't explain it.

[B]

Okay. With a skinny jean, of course.

[A]

Even though you're wearing a boot cut today.

[B]

Yes, I am. I had to always have my boots on. My western boots.

[A]

Of course. Western as in country West?

[B]

Yes, Country Western values. Yeah. I don't even know what western values are.

[A]

It's like when you. I think like western culture is like modern, like in the west, like America is.

[B]

That's what they say. Like in Asia, they say like western.

[A]

Exactly. So China is. Asia is eastern and. And western is considered like more modern. The western world. So when you said that, it was like, okay, geopolitical.

[B]

That'S another thing I'll get canceled for.

[A]

But once again, this is a great opportunity to remind everyone that cast Joey Master for the next season of Summer House.

[B]

Yes. Or any other reality show that's going to pay me a lot of money.

[A]

It doesn't pay well, but it doesn't have the opportunity.

[B]

But I add value to anything I do. I'm like bacon.

[A]

And you're like salt.

[B]

Salt.

[A]

Because you're necessary. Bacon is not necessary. A lot of people. A lot of people don't have bacon.

[B]

For I don't really like bacon. I'd rather have sausage.

[A]

I said salt.

[B]

Salt.

[A]

Because you. You make it better.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And more often than not, it's required.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Next up, Joe Jonas is in the hot seat, quite literally because a fan has caught him struggling to parallel park in a viral tick tock. The singer responds with a video of his own. So a tick tocker filmed Joe Jonas attempting to parallel park in New York City, claiming that she'd been watching him for seven minutes trying to parallel park New York City.

[B]

Power parking is different than LA parallel parking.

[A]

True. And this was in New York. The video, set to the Jonas Brothers theme song Burning up, has more than eight and a half million views. Joe joined in on the fun. The girl had written, I love New York because I've been watching Joe Jonas parallel park for the last seven minutes. And then he commented, and I saw you watch and not help once. The Tick tocker did not miss a beat. Fired Back with an equally charming comment. Listening and learning will do better next time. Brands and fans flooded. And then he made his own little video. If you'd like to watch his response.

Joking that he's just finishing up parallel parking from yesterday. Now, no one really cares about this story, but I did want to use it as a springboard to talk to you about the Jonas Brothers. Which Jonas brother do you think is most attractive?

[B]

Nick Jonas.

[A]

Really? You're a Nick girl?

[B]

Yes. I mean, the other ones are a fine, but they're just not for me. I think. I think it's. He's the most, like, homoerotic. He's the one. He's the sluttiest. Yeah.

[A]

Okay, so I definitely think in terms of the gay community, like, Nick gives the girls what. What they want a little bit more. But I do think you're wrong about him being the most conventionally attractive.

[B]

Which one's Joe is. I guess I feel like a model. Like, model. Yeah.

[A]

They're all very short, too.

[B]

Yeah. Nick is very, like, just like. More like bro y. I think that's why.

[A]

Do you have, like, a. A thesis or a thought on shore? Men, like. Is that a thing that bothers you? Would you. Do you, like, turn away from people who are short?

[B]

Oh, no, I don't mind it. I don't know. I mean, I think. I think they have. They think what's called Napoleon syndrome. They get. You know, they become like, you know, their bark's bigger than their bite. Right. Type thing. Right. I mean, I don't know. I mean, everyone has their insecurities, but, yeah, I mean, I think. I think. I think they're cute.

[A]

What's your favorite Jonas Brothers song?

[B]

Burning up.

[A]

Really? The only one you know?

[B]

Yeah, that's the only one I know.

[A]

Sing it.

Yes. Keep going.

[B]

Is that the right song? I'm burning for your love.

[A]

No, you lost it. But you were almost there.

[B]

Well, that's the one I like. Did one of them go on their own?

[A]

Nick. So Nick broke up the band many years ago. Yeah. Just, like, by being a jealous wench and, like a miserable wench. And then they all went off and did their own things. Like, Kevin got into real estate. Joe started a band, Cake by the ocean. You know that song?

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Keep on.

[B]

Who is that? Joe.

[A]

Joe and his band. Dnce. And then Nick did his solo where he took. Did I still get jealous.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, I like that song, too.

[A]

Now everybody want.

[B]

And so do they sing those at the concerts?

[A]

They do. They do their solo music but they do.

[B]

You saw my best friend was wing out with them backstage.

[A]

See? And you didn't go, did you?

[B]

I wasn't invited.

[A]

But now you know how I feel about.

[B]

I know she met with all her daughters, but she went with her daughters and all her friends.

[A]

Her daughters.

[B]

The daughters. And then, yeah, she was doing tic Tacs with them backstage.

[A]

Joey, would you ever move back to New Jersey or you, like, love being in the city?

[B]

I love being the city. I would move back, I wouldn't move to. When I. When I. When I get my house, eventually it's going to be upstate New York and Hudson Valley.

[A]

Okay, so not. Not Jersey. Not back to your roots. Why not?

[B]

Maybe I would if I could find the right. I just don't think that it has the. The vibe I need. Like, I want. I want, like, you know, like, barn and farm, and I'm sure there's barns and farms there, but I think they're in. In just ingenuous, I guess. I think upstate New York is just.

[A]

A more, like, more authentic experience.

[B]

Yeah, Like Adirondacks. I to want on, you know.

[A]

That's beautiful. Today's episode of the Toast is brought to you by Skims. We love sleepwear here. We're kind of sleepwear professionals, and we only partner with the best and the baddest in the game, and that's Skims. Now, I'm sure not a lot of you guys are familiar with skims. Their bras are so viral. They're amazing, especially if you have big boobs. All of their undergarments, their shapewear, and their sleepwear is elite. It's hard to find a combination of sleepwear that, like, makes you look polished. Like, yeah, I'm a lovely woman who sleeps in this. But also, like, we got to be cozy. We don't to want to sweat. Oh, my God. I love the sleepwear. I love everything from Skims, but the pajamas are so underrated. Sometimes we can find yourself, like, really slipping into bad habits where we're wearing, like, ratty old T shirts to bed. You want to look beautiful even in your sleep, and Skims totally gets that. The Skims soft lounge sleep set has taken the place of even the rattiest clothes in your closet. If you want to feel put together. It's lightweight, it's comfortable, and you can shop all the best and my favorite [e-mail]. after you place your order, be sure to let them know that we sent you select select Toast in the survey. Be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows after you select podcast. And if you're looking for the perfect gift for everyone on your list, the Skims Holiday Shop is now [e-mail] Skims has great gifts. Also, feel free to send a skims link to the man in your life or the woman in your life and be like, hey, light suggestion. Love something from Skims. They also have a new flagship store in New York. They're doing the most over at Skims. So whether it's the Fits Everybody collection, the sleepwear which we love. So cute to get like matching sleepwear for the holidays, it makes sense. Like Chris's morning picks look so cute. Head to skims.com be sure to let them know that we sent you. We're big fans of Skims here at the Toast. Today's episode is also brought to you by Baked by Melissa. The perfect gift for literally everyone. They come okay, so you guys know Baked by Melissa from social media. You know the mini cupcakes that took the world by storm when they launched. It is the best holiday gift. I think a lot of times like during this year we want to send like cute baskets or different sweet treats and a lot of them do not deliver well. The shipping is not fast, the packaging is not parent crunchy. Big one Melissa does it all. Like their gift boxes are just part delicious. We know there's nothing better than a little treat and Big by Melissa literally invented the little treat. The cupcakes themselves are made entirely by hand, so it's turning really any moment into a celebration you have. They offer beautiful gift boxes for any occasion. 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Like when somebody comes and co hosts the toast. Sometimes I send flowers, sometimes I send Baked by Melissa Cupcakes. They are so fast and so parchy. Right now, Baked by Melissa is offering our listeners 20 off your [e-mail] toast that's bakedbymelissa.com toast for 20 off your order. Baked B A K E D by melissa.com/toast. That link will get you 20 off your order. Today's episode is also brought to you by Everyday Dose, a real savior for the body. It's not only an incredible coffee, it also has collagen functional mushrooms that get rid of any negative side effects effects of coffee on your stomach. So coffee is like this sort of necessarily evil. I think a lot of people have very toxic relationships with coffee. It makes them jittery, it doesn't always keep them, you know, their best. It can give anxiety. It can go rough on an empty stomach or any stomach. So I think a lot of people are looking for better alternatives to coffee. And we really like Everyday Dose. 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[B]

Streams and rivers of course.

[A]

Can't forget the creeks.

[B]

Yeah, and creeks.

[A]

Our fifth and final story is a little love is blind news. Because a beloved couple from Love is Blind who literally just had a baby are getting divorced. It's Alexa Lemieux and Brendan Lemieux. Everyone was obsessed with them. She's like a Jewish Israeli king and he is like this farmer from the middle of nowhere. They were the most unlikely pairing but they were so in Love. They got married. They had a baby. Like, we've just sort of put them in a box. We don't worry about them anymore.

[B]

Right. Lo and behold, trouble in paradise.

[A]

And she has responded to her estranged husband Brennan's divorce filing. She alleges that he is the one responsible for their split, according to court documents. So Alexa and him met in 2021 while filming season three of Netflix. She argued in the filing that she is owed more money when it comes to divvying up their estate for several reasons, one of which was because she said her estranged partner was at fault in the breakup of the marriage. So I know, you know, the estranged.

[B]

Partner is the guy she married on the show.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So let me just tell you, because I know you didn't watch, like, so she was this, like, very. Not, like, spoiled because she was a nice girl, but she came from, like, money.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And her dad was very, like, you know, I'll take care of you my whole life, and I want you, your husband, to, like, kind of take over that role. And she married this, like, poor little farmer, and he had, like, no money, but he loved her so much. And, you know, she was, like, getting dicked down.

[B]

Did she talk about money before they got Saw each other out of the.

[A]

That's what you have to do in those shows. Like, you talk about the awkward things, like money. And she, like, didn't really work, and she had a nice apartment that her parents paid for. And he, like, literally lived with his parents on their farm. And, like, it was just, like, so unlikely. I don't think he had ever met a Jewish person in his whole life.

[B]

Was he, like, insanely hot, though?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. And it was just, like, a really unique pairing, and it was kind of emblematic of why that show was so great. Like, two people, like, that would never meet normally.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And now they're getting divorced. Love is dead.

[B]

That's sad. Yeah. I think that they're putting too much pressure on those people. How many people are actually from that show actually stayed married?

[A]

A couple.

[B]

Like, not two.

[A]

No, Like a. Like a bunch.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

There are.

[B]

Maybe it does work.

[A]

It could work. There's no. Like, is love blind? Yes or no? Like, sometimes. Yes.

[B]

Marriage is so dramatic. Like, the week. The day you meet someone. That's just pushing a lot of pressure. And I know it's. I know it's a television show. We're not supposed to, like, wait and watch, but maybe figure it out a way to, like. Like, have, like, a year of them dating. So then Go get married.

[A]

Do you think you could be a potential. Like, do you think that you could love someone? Meeting them through a wall, talking for hours on end, getting to know about them, completely agreeing to get married without ever physically seeing them?

[B]

Unless they were like, like, yeah. Yes, I can. Unless they were, like, like, really hideous.

[A]

Right. Because the thing with the show is that it's all blind, but everybody's pretty much. Some people are, like, hotter than others. Nobody's butt ugly. They've never done somebody, like, obese. Like, it' same elk of people. So they're all in the same league. For the most part.

[B]

Yeah. But if there's like. But if he, like, had something annoying, like, if he had an annoying, like, not a lisp. Something wrong. Yeah, something. Something would annoy me about it. I think I'd be open to it. Yeah.

[A]

I like to think that I'm mature enough that, like, beauty is on the inside.

[B]

Yeah. I don't think my. I don't think I. I lead with looks. I know I'm not, like, you know, a troll, but it's like, I think my personality is, like, where I shine.

[A]

Yeah. I think you're very handsome, but I think if somebody falls in love with you, they're falling love with your personality.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And what did you fall in love with on your boyfriend? Like, his looks? His personality?

[B]

Well, first looks, because I didn't. We didn't speak the first night. No, we did speak, but. No, the first looks. But then, you know. Yeah, the. It just all worked out.

[A]

I love that video. Are you ready to do Dear Toasters, our weekly advice segment? It's our final Dear Toasters of the Year. Joey.

[B]

Oh, my God. When does the show end?

[A]

This Friday.

[B]

Oh, who's. Who's coming tomorrow?

[A]

I can't tell, though.

[B]

Okay, is it Kathy's new replacement? Hoda's new replacement?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Jones. Yeah.

[A]

We have Dear Toasters, our weekly advice segment, where every Tuesday, Jackie and I. And this week, Joey and I try to help out the swirlies in need. If you ever want to get advice from us, you can write us an email, dear toasters, gmail.com or head over to our website, the toastpodcast.com forward slash. Joey, scroll down a little bit. There's a submission box. Totally anonymous. Don't worry. Okay, Joey, are you ready? I'll start with the one that was written in literally for you. Oh, hello. Please be Joey. My mom is really bad with makeup. She uses the wrong color foundation. She doesn't always apply it to her whole face. And I Thought it would be a fun gift for a makeup class for Christmas so she feels more confident while putting it on. My husband thinks it could potentially be perceived as backhanded and told me to consult with some friends. So I'm here asking for your help. Is this an appropriate gift?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Well, like, your mom seems happy with the way she does her makeup. You're the one who has an issue with it. It.

[B]

I, I. But I think you should approach it as, like, don't book it as, like, a classic. This is for ugly people that don't know how to do their makeup. Do it like, it's like a girl's thing, like a spa day, like, let's go to dinner, like, make it for her birthday, whatever. And like, okay, we're gonna get our makeup done. But then, like, when you sign up, I'm sure when, when you sign up the makeup artist, they could even have, like an just application or a lesson. Right. Sign her up for the lesson. Yeah.

[A]

And make it like, the gift is not the lesson. The gift is the experience of doing it together with you.

[B]

Yeah. So it's not. Instead of her, like, having to ask all the questions like, something's wrong the with it, just have the. Have the makeup artist, like, be, like, overbearingly, like, educational so she doesn't catch on.

[A]

And your husband is right that, like, this is low key rude, because it doesn't sound like your mom has any issues with her makeup. You're the one who just, like, can't stand to look at your own mother.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you do have to be sensitive or you just get over it. Like, your mom's happy and, like, why do you care?

[B]

Yeah. I think it's. There's a, it's a good gift tactical way. I think you could make it as a girl's thing, as a treat, like, thing it does. Like, you have to sneakily have her learn new things or even that just, like, look through magazines and be like, oh, my God, look how gorgeous this is. You should try this eyeshadow, though.

[A]

One of, like, your many talents that people don't even talk about because we're just, like, so focused on your cooking and your comedy and your podcasting is. You're a glam queen.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Is that how you met Snooki?

[B]

Yeah, I was doing her makeup. Yeah.

[A]

And you were a Mac makeup artist for many years.

[B]

Yes, Many moons.

[A]

So for any of the girlies listening who maybe don't have a good grasp on makeup and want to get into it, like, what are your top three Tips. Top three products to, like, get started with.

[B]

I would just make sure your skin is, like, as. As pretty and glowing as it could be. So, like, you know, to make sure that you're not wearing too heavy, make sure. Make sure the color. Get your foundation right, get the base.

[A]

Stuff, go to the store and get.

[B]

A match, and you spend your money on that, because that's what's gonna make me important. And then just, you know, less is more. Honestly, you think? Yes.

[A]

What do you think of my makeup today?

[B]

It's. I think it's radiant and glowing.

[A]

Can you be honest? Like, give me a critique? Like, what could I do better?

[B]

I don't think. I think you're wearing less makeup than I normally see you wear. Are you?

[A]

I'm actually wearing more because I went to a breast.

[B]

Oh, that's right. I think. I think you're. You're saying such really good skin. No notes.

[A]

Come on, just give me something.

[B]

I would maybe. Maybe add a little definition on the eyes. Maybe a little bit of eyeliner. Yeah, you used to now turn. Used to love a line liner.

[A]

I do a liner when I go out stage for stage. Yes. My daytime toast makeup has just mascara and, like, a little bronzer in my crease. What is, like, an eye look I could do. I don't like eyeline eyeliner in my waterline. Like.

[B]

Yeah, I would do maybe some, like, a dark. Just. Maybe like a darker shadow.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Just smudged a little bit on the outer corner into the lash line, like a. Like a faux liner.

[A]

And I just learned about tight lining.

[B]

I was highlighting.

[A]

Yeah. I really like the way that it looks, but, like, said, I like cry.

[B]

Yeah. Like, how the.

[A]

Do you do it?

[B]

Yeah, you need a good pencil. The Victoria Beckham's the best one.

[A]

Is it? Okay. Product tip.

[B]

If you don't have. If you don't see about Victoria Beckham's makeup, it is some of the best stuff I've ever used.

[A]

Yeah. He's obsessed with Victoria Beckham.

[B]

I love it. I have, like, the little clicky pen.

[A]

Did you watch the Victoria Beckham documentary?

[B]

I did. I loved it.

[A]

Yeah. Did you like the David one better?

[B]

I didn't watch that one.

[A]

Oh, you're missing out. It's their whole story. Oh, yeah, it's better. The only reason she. They did a documentary first because his was so popular, mostly about their family. Everyone was really interested, so then they did one for Victoria, but all the good stuff was already in David's.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You like it? They took their wedding.

[B]

They're an Enjoyable couple.

[A]

You know, they wore purple to their wedding. He wore a purple tuxedo and she wore a purple dress.

[B]

Really?

[A]

You have to watch a documentary. They're kind of crazy.

[B]

Kooky.

[A]

Okay, this one's kind of crazy and it's so funny. I was just telling you about the app shop.

[B]

My. Yes.

[A]

It's like an affiliate.

[B]

Yes. I'm waiting for them to respond. So.

[A]

Hey, girlies. I'm a small influencer slash content creator and I recently started a shop my account. My sister refuses to buy through my affiliate links unless I give her a cut. I'm willing to give her a small cut, but I think she'd rather someone else get the money than me. I've worked so hard to build my growing account. She seems to think that I don't deserve the money. This is not abnormal for her. She's not been the best sister over the years. What should I do? Give her a cut or say screw it and take my affiliate links elsewhere?

[B]

Well, first and foremost, if anyone's watching on my shop, I. I did shop my. I did apply and I've never heard. Back back.

[A]

Shot by.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now how much money is she making from. That's what I'm saying.

[A]

It's not a lot. I just want to say your sister sounds like the biggest cunt on the planet. Like, this is insane.

[B]

Yeah, no, she's jealous and she was just like a.

[A]

And she could secretly. What a lot of people do is like when they. When they see something on an influencer shop my. That they like, but they like don't want to support the influencer, they'll then go Google like the product. They'll swipe the link, not buy it. Write down the title. Go to Google to like cut the influencer out of the affiliate. Really Up. Grow up your own own sister making you like seriously send me your link.

[B]

This is. This is deeper. This is deeper than the link. Oh yeah.

[A]

Your sister hates you, by the way.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. This is like she's. This is like a vendetta against you. And it's not that she doesn't want to support you. She wants to make sure that like you're that being damaged.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And what's scary. What sort of links. So scary. What sort of links do you hope to start affiliating?

[B]

I would do like my. My home decor things most first and foremost. Like my favorite bedding. My favorite.

[A]

What is your favorite bed setting?

[B]

Brooklyn and Monkey couture. Yeah, of course. Oh, no, no. Oh, sorry.

Is my favorite blanket yeah, but I, I like the bowl and branch. Those are the ones.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. So I don't mess with Brooklyn and I do Bow and Branch.

[B]

You know, I, I didn't mind Brooklyn, but they, they would come off the bed. Like they, they pop off the bed.

[A]

So I have a lot.

[B]

Yeah, I need a deep sheet.

[A]

What kind of mattress do you have? Have.

[B]

I have a Casper.

[A]

Okay. Soleil. I have a Tempur Pedic and it's big, so like a regular sheet for 18 inches. Yes. It doesn't cover, but.

[B]

Can I give. Can I give a hot chip for the girlies, please? Okay. So I. For. For many years I had white sheets and I couldn't stand getting. Spending all this money on the white sheets and then get like, you know, dingy or whatever because you have to like, you know, wash them all the time. But my secret trick is I have these sheets I get from Costco. Go. The Kirkland brand sheet. 600 thread count. They are the perfect crispest whish sheets. So I buy. I have like six pair of them, six sets of them in the box. I've been using those lately. And it's like your bed always looks like a hotel. They're super fresh.

[A]

Costco, where you do Instacart?

[B]

I do, I do Instacart for most of it. But then I'll go there like if, like sometimes they don't have. They, they. They lie and say they don't have things on there. Like the house goes, like, I can't like order. Like, it's like a, like a steam cleaner from there. They're like, what do you think is.

[A]

The best product from Costco that you found? Like, what's your Costco fave? I love those Sanders caramel chocolates.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Oh, my God. M.

[B]

Costco. I like the. What do I get there? A lot. I like their shrimp. They're the frozen shrimp.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

They have a great selection of that.

[A]

They have a great kosher section as well.

[B]

Oh, do they?

I mean, really everything? I mean, there's nothing specific that they sell there only. But I like the sheets there.

[A]

No. Very good to know.

[B]

Yeah. The Kirkland.

[A]

Our third and final. I'm afraid that being a toaster has gotten this girl into trouble.

[B]

Okay. Oh, Lord.

[A]

Hey, girlies. I'm embarrassed. I have embarrassed myself in a corporate setting and I need some advice. As a long time toaster, I've developed some slip. I've developed some of your lingo. I was on a zoom call with a new employee that I was training. I was Commending her on how well she was doing and how she's learning so quickly. She asked me about my experience and I proceeded to tell her that it took me much longer. Longer. Then I said I was also handling this other account at the same time and I couldn't put my whole into it.

Yes. I said pussy to a new employee. I immediately tried to backtrack and I stumbled over my words. I said, sorry, I didn't mean to say that. I told her it was a phrase from this podcast and I asked her if she was a listener. Nope. Love that for me. Be right back. I get a call from hr. Any advice on how to recover from this? Should I send her a link to the podcast? Love ya.

[B]

Well, I know this very well because it's, you know, this term step your up that we have music for many, many moons in my culture.

[A]

Yes, of course. So are appropriating your culture when we say it.

[B]

I know. So I think that. I think that. Do you think. I wonder if the person was offended or like, if she was like, steps taken back that she said it to.

[A]

This is one of those situations where you have to really remember, like, no one's thinking about you as much as you are. Like, yes, this girl just started a new job. She's probably, like, loving that you messed up because it makes her feel better. Like, she's certainly not looking a rat on HR to you and you were just helping her. Honestly, I would let it go.

[B]

I think she likes. I think she's. She's more impressive than she's not.

[A]

Well, yeah, hopefully she's a swirly like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But even if she's not, like, she's just not thinking about you. This is one of those situations where, like, I don't want to give you advice. I just want to, like, tell you, like, you need to unburden yourself. Like you told us, let it go. Let, like, this need not be a chip on your shoulder. It's really not a big deal. And she's probably not even thinking about it anymore. And if she is, she's probably just like telling her friends, like, the funniest thing. I have to meet my new job. And just like, it's fine. Like, I really. I. I would not work.

[B]

I had a similar experience to this. Did you recently?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It wasn't me. It was something I read. So I'm on. I now this may shock some people. I took the bus the other day. Day.

[A]

I love the bus.

[B]

I like the bunch around the subway.

[A]

Better than the subway. Not People talk about the traffic is annoying, but it's so civilized. It's cleaner.

[B]

Yeah. So I said to myself, I was waiting for. There was like, no cabs and the bus pulled up. I was like, you know what I'm going to say? Just right up Madison Avenue myself.

[A]

It was the Madison avenue bus.

[B]

Yeah. 54. From 54 to where I was going from down to up.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So then I got on there. So then I'm on there reading, and I saw this tweet from someone or a thing. Thing. It says this is something like the struggle is when. When I saw my family, I was. I was craving a pargy loaf. And no one knows what that. No one knows what that means. Right.

[A]

That's when you make a really nice big duty.

[B]

Oh, is that what it is? Yeah, I thought it was. I thought it was one of.

Her sour bro started.

[A]

And she would always, like, post pictures of her loaf and being like, what a part of. And Ben was like, it sounds like you're talking about pinching a loaf loaf.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so Ben, like, would walk out of the bathroom over the summer and be like, I made a party loaf. And so now, yes, you can use it for either a poop or a loaf of sourdough bread.

[B]

Oh, I prefer the latter.

[A]

And that's what the girl was talking about.

[B]

Yeah. The. The actual sourdough.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, I was so funny. So I was cackling on the bus.

[A]

Yeah, I love the bus.

[B]

Yeah, me too.

[A]

True New Yorkers take the bus.

[B]

Yeah. And I love that you can just scan your little phone there. Now, remember when you had to go in the basement to get. To get the cards?

[A]

Yeah, of course. To the subway. The bus. You had to go down also, did you see Andy Cohen was, like, hired by the mta. Yes. To make some content. And honestly, it was a good partnership because it was the first time learning that New York City is getting rid of the Metro card.

[B]

There's a new car. It's called the City card. What's it called?

[A]

It's, like, black and it's sleek, and it's just taps. So it's no more swiping. It's tapping. Fuck this. I just want to say, like, seriously, fuck this. The Metro card is so iconic. When you watch checks in the City, it's the same yellow Metro card.

[B]

Like. Yes.

[A]

It's kind of like. Like a part of New York culture.

[B]

Yeah. We don't need it.

[A]

Maybe it's not the most efficient way. Please. The subway is a thousand years old. It's the Dirtiest, worst. No one's, no one's not getting places because of the Metro card.

[B]

Yeah. Ours are paper in Paris. Are they really? Yeah, but they have like, they have like a metal ring inside.

[A]

You take public transpo in Paris?

[B]

I, I, I, I was forced to, yeah.

[A]

The tube.

[B]

I liked it though.

[A]

What'd you take, the train or this.

[B]

Bus or like the train. I mean, nobody do a trolley to the train and then underground. The underground around and you know, Ubers and stuff.

[A]

Of course, yeah. But public transportation compared to New York.

[B]

City, it's very similar. Yeah. Yeah. Easy to get around.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

Yeah. That's why I chose, that's why I chose this massive. Yeah. Wait, I don't want to leave.

[A]

I know. So the stories are done, dear. Toasters are done. The Preface 5 banner is done. Now, before I let you go, Joey, for the final time, any last words?

[B]

Well, this has been lovely.

I hope I can come back as a correspondent.

[A]

You know what? I would love that.

[B]

I really would.

[A]

We don't do much of that, but I'll speak to Jackie about finding a place for you here or maybe if.

[B]

You get your desk, maybe if you need like me to go out on the street and do and find something out or investigate something or go like, you know, something. We send Joey out. He's on, he's on the front lines to go find out what's going on at this new pop up or whatever it is. I think I can do that.

[A]

You want to go to a pop up is what you're saying?

[B]

I just want, I just need a job.

[A]

Okay, you know what? We're gonna get you paying.

[B]

Okay, good.

[A]

You guys, give it up for Joey Kamasta. And that's a wrap on Joey Kamasta.

[B]

That's a series wrap on Joey.

[A]

On Joey. Guys, thank you so much for listening to the Toast and l Morning show where you del the Fast 5 stories to every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So you're watching us on YouTube? Please subscribe and give us video thumbs up. We're also available as podcasting. Podcast, Spotify, Guess all the places wherever you listen to podcast. Beautiful. Sounding talented. We are. Make sure to follow at Joey ka on Instagram Tik tok. Clock it. Clock it. And would you, would you sing us out with your. With your note?

[B]

So baby.

[A]

Whoa, whoa. Hey, yeah. You've got to show me love. Love ya. Bye.

[B]

And Doug, here we have the limu.

[A]

Emu in its natural habitat, helping people.

[B]

Customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally. Double Limu. Is that guy with the binoculars watching us? Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty Liberty. Liberty. Liberty Savings Ferry. Underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company Affiliates excludes Massachusetts.