Turd (1:39)

Yeah, well, we'll just have to.

Jackie (1:40)

It was like, bound to happen.

Turd (1:42)

It's true, actually. You need a gate.

Jackie (1:45)

I have a gate, but I.

Turd (1:47)

It was like, no, you need a gate for the door, for the. For like a lock, a keypad, like, with a four digit lock.

Jackie (1:53)

Yeah. Okay. Live and learn.

Turd (1:56)

I'm here.

Jackie (1:58)

Welcome to you.

Turd (1:59)

Yeah. Which I think is a huge deal as far as I know. Yet I have not contracted notor virus. My husband was just like in the throes of it yesterday. We quarantined him. It felt like Covid. He was not allowed to leave the room. I kept like, leaving stuff for him outside the door drama. I mean, he was being like, seriously convalescing like a woman who just had a facelift. Like, he was just like on the couch with like, hot compresses. Warm compresses. Heating pad. Drama. Like body armor. Water the drama. He's bright eye, bushy tailed. This morning. I Think the worst is behind it for him. I feel like I'm gonna give myself another 24 hours to assume that I don't have it and if it did, hit my home and miss me completely. Oh, and, Phil. Yeah? I'm one of God's chosen ones.

Jackie (2:38)

But don't celebrate yet. You're not out of the woods yet.

Turd (2:42)

If I'm here tomorrow, like, we're good.

Jackie (2:44)

Yeah, because then you could have it over the weekend. And that doesn't conflict with our schedule?

Turd (2:48)

Oh, no. I mean. I mean, we're good. Like, I don't have it.

Jackie (2:52)

Yeah, no, no, you're. You're looking good. Things are looking good. We're also simpatico today in our little, like, oatmeal pants.

Turd (3:00)

I kind of think oatmeal is my color. I'm like, I want my whole life to be oatmeal. Not life, because I don't even like oatmeal as a food. My whole wardrobe to be oatmeal. I'm feeling like it's my color. I don't know if it matches with the profile that the color analyst gave to me, but I just, like, refused to be bound by the colors that the analyst gave me. You know what I mean?

Jackie (3:16)

Yeah. Like, everyone said I look great in brown. I don't know if that was on my sheep, but it. Brown, to me is like, that's a neutral. And neutral oatmeal is like a neutral. It's like wearing white. Yeah. Everyone looks good in white.

Turd (3:27)

We're black.

Jackie (3:27)

Everyone looks good in black. I know. I did something.

Turd (3:30)

I did something crazy last night.

Jackie (3:31)

You watched?

Turd (3:34)

No.

Jackie (3:35)

You read Next to Heaven.

Turd (3:41)

How did you know that?

Jackie (3:41)

You wrote it in our group chat.

Turd (3:44)

I'm cracking up. Yes, I did write in the group chat. My beat, not me spoiling the toast.

Jackie (3:50)

Yeah.

Turd (3:51)

I started a book, which is crazy, because I've kind of been like, struggling with my reading literacy. Yeah. But I did. I read and I read this book that Jackie recommended. It was a redheads pick, and it's, like, been my next book forever, and I've had it on my nightstand. I bought a physical copy, and it's just taken me about a month to actually open it up. And, boy, do I wish I started sooner. Gotta get me a house in New Brunswick. Any of the toasters here listening live in New Brunswick? If so, I gotta come up for the weekend. I gotta see what this book's all about.

Jackie (4:19)

It's called New Brunswick. Yeah, well, it's a fake town, but it's, like, based On.

Turd (4:25)

Wait, it's a fake town?

Jackie (4:27)

Yeah. The town that they're in, like, isn't. That name is not, like, a real town, but it's, like, models. No, it might be a town. It might be, like, a name of a town, but not the town. It's, like, modeled after, like, Greenwich, Connecticut, or like, Bedford.

Turd (4:42)

Wait, it's not a true story? Wait, I didn't think it was a true story, but they talked a lot about this town and how so many wealthy people ended up there and how it's such a party town.

Jackie (4:53)

It's not New Brunswick.

Turd (4:54)

They gave. They gave the history of the town.

Jackie (4:57)

Yes.

Turd (4:58)

Of the town and how it became to be.

Jackie (4:59)

There's certainly a town in Connecticut or upstate New York that has that same history, blah, blah, blah. But it's not that town, and it's definitely not in the book.

Turd (5:08)

Next to heaven.

Jackie (5:09)

What town do they live in?

Turd (5:10)

Is the town New Brunswick a real place?

Jackie (5:13)

Where are you getting Brunswick, Jackie?

Turd (5:15)

Because I Googled it. I'm reading the book last night. It's called New Bed.

Jackie (5:20)

Thank you. Yeah, because it was all about, like,

Turd (5:22)

okay, wait, I'm fucking cracking crack. I can't. Wait. They would never.

Jackie (5:26)

Then.

Turd (5:26)

Wait, wait. The book was like, so many famous people live here. And so I was like, google. They were saying a famous author, a famous athlete, but they wouldn't say who. So I googled people who live in New Brunswick. Famous people. And they were like, there are no ways.

Jackie (5:39)

So they live in New Bethlehem, which is not a real place like that. Maybe you live in a town in New Bethlehem, Maryland. I'm not talking to you. They're talking. They're, like, in Connecticut or like, not

Turd (5:48)

a real place based loosely on wealthy Connecticut towns, especially New Canaan.

Jackie (5:53)

I read the book six months ago.

Turd (5:55)

Oh, my God, I'm so upset. I was literally on Zillow, like, looking for a house in New Brunswick. I'm fudgeing. Cracking up.

Jackie (6:01)

No, it's called.

Turd (6:02)

I'm really, like, not a smart person. It's insane.

Jackie (6:05)

You were right. You are struggling.

Turd (6:07)

I am. That's, like, so great.

Jackie (6:11)

So it's based. It's called New Bethlehem in the book, and it's loosely based on New Canaan. So you might want to look for a house in New Canaan.

Turd (6:19)

Not to be, like, a Know it all, even though I clearly know nothing. It's actually pronounced a new canon.

Jackie (6:25)

Well, it would be if we're speaking Hebrew.

Turd (6:27)

If you went to Hebrew school, then, you know it's New Canaan, which is the original name for the land of Israel.

Jackie (6:32)

Yeah. If you are speaking Hebrew, it would be canon, but if you're speaking English,

Turd (6:36)

no, if you're sort of authentic, you're saying. So you don't call Jerusalem Yerushalayim shells

Jackie (6:44)

a hub, but you don't ever say Jerusalem.

Turd (6:47)

No, I literally, the other day, I said yurushalayim. I don't say Jerusalem.

Jackie (6:51)

I saw it on your story.

Turd (6:52)

I say Simla.

Jackie (6:54)

You do say Sima.

Turd (6:56)

Like, I. Obviously, I'm authentic. I'm literally that character from the Funny or Die sketch.

Jackie (7:01)

But you Pierogi. But you don't say an accent,

Turd (7:05)

because it's. It's not an accent. It's just how I speak. I'm so authentic.

Jackie (7:08)

It's not a costume.

Turd (7:09)

It's not a costume.

Jackie (7:11)

So you like the book?

Turd (7:13)

I like the book, and I didn't watch tv, so I feel so smart. Even though, like, we're not off to a great start. Let's just reset.

Jackie (7:19)

Yeah.

Turd (7:19)

I read, and I was, like, sleeping in my bed alone, but Ben was in the other room. It was such a weird feeling. Like, I felt like one of those couples that sleep in separate bedrooms. I will say I slept amazing.

Jackie (7:30)

That actually works for you because it's not that you don't want to sleep alone. It's like, you don't want to be in the house alone. But wait, he could be in the house, but not in the bed.

Turd (7:38)

I am on to something because I. When Ben's gone, I'm so afraid. The whole night, I'm afraid. I'm like. I'm literally. No, I'm afraid. I'm sleeping, and I'm like, what was that? I have crazy dreams. It's the worst, most fitful sleep. But knowing that there was, like, a man in the house who was closer to the front door than me, and I got the bed to myself. What's bad? What's bad? We're gonna become one of those couples poisoning him. Yes. Somebody who has go to virus, come

Jackie (8:05)

over, keep him sick.

Turd (8:08)

You can't keep a good girl down, you know?

Jackie (8:10)

Yeah. Well, I shopped last night. I didn't watch tv. I was gonna watch the Valley, but then the shops were calling my name.

Turd (8:16)

Life got in the way.

Jackie (8:17)

Yeah. I actually am, like, working on something. I'm. I'm vlogging it, so I, like, didn't want to spoil the vlog, but I think the vlog might be, like, part one and two. But I just, like, I need to tell everyone, like, I'm redoing my kitchen.

Turd (8:29)

Oh, yeah. For those of us who have been here, like, on the journey, we know it's kind of been. It's kind of been a drama and a half.

Jackie (8:37)

It has been. But no, like, no, I haven't, like, told anyone. And then I just sort of, like started. And I don't. I don't even think I took content for transition reels. Like, I don't know what I'm doing, but I've been vlogging it for Patreon. So I felt like I'm making content, but I'm like, wait, I didn't even tell anyone. You guys are going to see, like, open cabinets in the back of my kitchen. Like, I'm redoing my kitchen. So I was shopping for my kitchen.

Turd (8:56)

Like slabs and things?

Jackie (8:57)

No, like faucets and hardware. Very microwave. We're finally having a built in microwave. Do you know, in every place I've lived in since I've been with Zach, coincidentally, I do know this. In my house here in our former apartments, none of them had a built in microwave. We always had like a random one on the counter if we wanted a microwave.

Turd (9:16)

She has, like a freestanding microwave that plugs into an outlet. Honestly, every time I'm at your house, I can never find it.

Jackie (9:20)

I always move it around because it's

Turd (9:22)

not a move, it's moving.

Jackie (9:24)

Freestanding, moving, grey oven.

Turd (9:27)

I know it sounds like a lot of fun, like slabs and faucets and mood boards and things, but I've been along for the journey on, like, your design process. And I just want to say I think remodeling and just designing homes, first of all, I don't have a knack for it, so that's. I'm already off to a bad start. It is genuinely one of the most unfun, unpleasant things to do. And I feel like when the time comes that, like, I do, like, settle down, buy a house, wherever that is. Like, I'm gonna need one of those, like one Shannon's, like a builder grade home where, like, I just literally want to come in with my toothbrush and a pair of underwear.

Jackie (9:59)

Yeah, yeah. But even builder grade, like, then you do have to, like, design it. They don't buy you furniture and, and do molding and all that.

Turd (10:07)

Somebody needs to like, start a firm, like a design architecture firm, where it's called, like, toothbrush, the toothbrush firm. And all you need to do is bring your toothbrush. Like, why can't I buy a house and like, all the furniture's there already, you know?

Jackie (10:18)

Well, sometimes you can, especially if it's like, stage with furniture.

Turd (10:21)

No, I'm sorry, I don't want somebody's old. I'm not buying a furnished, smelly old couch.

Jackie (10:25)

No, but if it's staged, like the stagers, you can wind up buying it. And it's always, like, really nice. Everyone just uses, like, restoration hardware, which is, like, super pargy.

Turd (10:33)

Everyone uses restoration hardware. I don't know that to be true.

Jackie (10:35)

No, like, in, like, a nice staged home, they go with that vibe. Sorry, it might not be RH brand, but, like, that's the. That's the. The vibe, which is really beautiful.

Turd (10:43)

When I was, like, spending my sabbatical in Florida over the last couple of months, Ben and I were looking at some places there, and every time I went in, I'm like, oh, is this your furniture? Oh, my God, this your furniture? And they're like, no, it's staged. And I was like, can you, like. I felt so low brow, but I'm like, can you buy the stage furniture? They were like, I guess it's like,

Jackie (11:01)

can I have a stager come?

Turd (11:04)

Just, like, stage. I'm so uninterested, and I feel like that's why I'll never truly be settled. Because in order to, like, have a home, you have to put in the work. Like, you have to go find the house. A lot of them, most of them, especially if you're a cardboard Koji, like, need work if you want to get a good deal.

Jackie (11:17)

Yeah.

Turd (11:17)

And it's like, well, guess I'll just live in a rental forever. Like, I just can't.

Jackie (11:21)

That may work for you, but I just want to say, now that we started the work, it's so exciting. I'm loving it. I'm living with, like, all. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. I feel like I'm in the second season of OC when, like, Sandy and Kirsten are getting a new kitchen. They can't use their kitchen. Like, they're on the brink of divorce. Except, like, Zach and I are doing really great.

Turd (11:37)

Yeah, you're thriving.

Jackie (11:38)

No, like, it really hasn't been that intrusive yet. Like, I can still work in my kitchen. It's like, you'll see in the vlog why, like, how we're doing it. And I just find every day to be so exciting. Like, I got a new a faucet that arrived yesterday that's being installed on Friday. And, like, let me tell you, I've never been so excited about a faucet. Faucet. Are you greater than.

Turd (12:01)

Are you diying, like, any element like, are you getting involved? Are you just truly letting the professionals handle it?

Jackie (12:09)

So I got, like, new outlet covers. Like, marble outlet covers, like, to match my marble. And I will attempt to unscrew.

Turd (12:16)

I actually think you can do it, and.

Jackie (12:18)

Yeah, that I'm attempt that. And if I can, like, I'll just ask the. The carpenter to do it. It'll take him two seconds, but I'm gonna attempt it.

Turd (12:24)

Yeah, I like that.

Jackie (12:25)

Like, I'm so excited about my new outlet covers.

Turd (12:28)

That's so exciting.

Jackie (12:29)

It's so exciting. I just want to say, like, if you, like, have a project that you know you need to do or, like, you think, like, oh, we'll do it next time we leave town or, like, whenever, whatever. Just start. Like, it's so exciting. It's so exciting. I wish I did it sooner.

Turd (12:40)

Yeah. Although I do feel like the excitement, like, quickly wears off and just the novelty of not having a functional kitchen becomes the primary.

Jackie (12:46)

Yeah. The way that we're doing it, like, our major appliances aren't moving and still work. So, like, I can still cook dinner. I might make a chili today.

Turd (12:54)

I made a chili over the weekend.

Jackie (12:55)

I may make a chili in my half kitchen.

Turd (12:57)

Half kitchen?

Jackie (12:58)

Yeah.

Turd (12:58)

Like, some people have half baths. I have a half kitchen, half kitsch. I had a chili over the weekend.

Jackie (13:04)

And tell me about the experience.

Turd (13:06)

It was.

Jackie (13:07)

Would you recommend for a friend?

Turd (13:09)

I would recommend especially for a Passover meal because although, you know, I love to use chips and rice for my chili, I just used matzah, and it was very good. Although you can have chips technically. Like, no. Like the potato. Yes. Like, not really. And, like, I was being, you know,

Jackie (13:29)

you just, like, wanted the authentic experience of mine.

Turd (13:31)

And as the holiday progresses, like, of course, this was day two. You're, like, firing on all cylinders on day two, and you feel like a true child of God. Oh, speaking of God, give me two seconds then. You know, as the days go on, tonight it does end. And I just want to say I'm so grateful. Like, the way I desperately need, like, a bowl of pasta.

Jackie (13:51)

Yeah. I haven't had pasta. Just to, like, tell myself a little bit. I don't keep Passover that strictly. Like, not to be, like, a total heretic. I. I do keep it in a sense. Like, I. I don't eat bread.

Turd (14:04)

Like, slices.

Jackie (14:05)

I don't make bread. That, to me, is. Would be blasphemy if I was, like, literally having pargie loaves when, like, they couldn't get their bread to rise. Like, however, like, I do Think, like, they could have grabbed a pretzel. If they. If they had a pretzel, they would have grabbed a pretzel.

Turd (14:20)

Oh, my God, I would love a pretzel.

Jackie (14:21)

Right? So I don't keep it that closely, but I haven't had pasta. I haven't made a party loaf.

Turd (14:26)

And pasta is so good.

Jackie (14:27)

Yeah. Ms.

Turd (14:28)

Pasta, I just want to say I was a person who was, like, severely impacted by a random documentary I watched once on Netflix called Keep Sweet, Pray and Obey, which was about the fundamentalist lds, like, this offshoot of Mormonism. They lived in, like, this, you know, ranch in Utah, and it was just really awful. Like, they. The guy ended up going to prison for, like, 50 years because he was married to, like, a million women, including minors. And there was, like, a lot of abuse. It was terrible. And then when the documentary came out, I guess it, like, revived parts of the remaining people in the religion, and this new guy took over and they were making a documentary about it, like a sequel to Keep Sweet, Pray and Obey. And it just came out, the trailer on Netflix, that what started out as, like, an innocent documentarian ended up being, like, the documentarian infiltrating the cult. One of the wives reached out to her and was like, there's so much abuse going on. Like, you have to help us and, like, taking it down from within. So, like, I don't even know if it's technically considered a documentary anymore. And he's now in prison. And I just want to say, like, if you were a Keep Sweet, Pray and Obey girl, you have to watch a new documentary on Netflix. I haven't seen it yet. I don't even know if it's out yet. But they just dropped the trailer, and it's kind of taking the world by storm.

Jackie (15:34)

Oh, interesting. You didn't segue that at all. I was still waiting. I said, speaking of God, I. I was still. I was, like, waiting for how it tied back to Passover. I'm like. And then they had a matzah God. Understood. Understood. I'm like, they had lemon bread. Was the leavening in the room with us. God. But not even, don't insult God.

Turd (15:55)

She could be a Christian.

Jackie (15:58)

Don't insult God by associating those people.

Turd (16:01)

No, no, I'm.

Jackie (16:01)

Capital H. I m. You meant religion.

Turd (16:06)

I don't even know if I would insult religion by calling it a religion. You know, I thought today because I was watching as I do my morning scroll on Tick Tock, which I feel like has really set me up for, like, I feel Like, I'm always bringing, like, recently, like, interesting facts to the show, sound office.

Jackie (16:20)

To the show.

Turd (16:21)

Yeah. Relevant stories that, like, my grandma sister doesn't know I was watching.

Jackie (16:25)

I feel like most of the things that you bring up, like, I've seen of them, but I don't know, the

Turd (16:29)

deets, you know, I'm literally like, the explainer.

Jackie (16:32)

Yeah. Claudia explains it all. Our favorite segment.

Turd (16:34)

Turd explains it all. Well, I was watching stuff about Euphoria. I don't know if the first episode came out yet or whatever. I am gonna watch it, but just. It was. I was like, one of the interviews from the red carpet, someone was talking about the cast members who have passed away. Like, there's, you know, Angus. Angus Cloud and Eric date. And you know what? I feel like nobody's made this comparison yet, so I just want to, like, put it out there. Doesn't it feel like Euphoria is, like, very much like a modern version, like, this generation's Glee, where it's, like, this very successful show and it seems kind of cursed and it, like, in different ways. But I feel like there's, like, a similar vibe.

Jackie (17:13)

I don't want to not support your calls.

Turd (17:15)

Oh, because it's. But. But you can't. Not because it's literally ingrained in your blood.

Jackie (17:20)

But I don't support this call, and I don't have that feeling at all. But also, like, Euphoria is. It's not even a blind spot for me. It's like I'm turning a blind eye. You know, I turn a blind eye to you.

Turd (17:31)

She's taking moral high ground.

Jackie (17:32)

Like, when I thought you were gonna tell me about Kaylor Negaro, like, tell me about the greats of Tick Tock. Don't tell me about Euphoria.

Turd (17:40)

I'm just glad, like, we're all now, like, what's. It's coming to light. Like, the lack of support for my calls. It's really. It's fantastic. And I'm just gonna keep making them, and I'm actually gonna keep making worse and worse calls just to set you up.

Jackie (17:53)

Why. But you should do it to, like, see, it's like a test. Like, actually, I don't know what that would prove other than I don't.

Turd (18:01)

No, I mean, we all agree, like, you don't support my calls, and I support your calls to the death. Like, because you know what it is? Like, I think you're so smart, you know? Like, to me, it's like, what if I.

Jackie (18:09)

Big sister, what if I made a call what if I made a call and you just didn't agree with it? What would you say?

Turd (18:14)

I'm.

Jackie (18:15)

I'm not capable, like, seriously, you're literally such a dissenter. You're always arguing.

Turd (18:21)

I'm not capable of not agreeing with you.

Jackie (18:23)

Okay.

Turd (18:24)

And I never argue with you. I don't even know what you're talking about.

Jackie (18:26)

Okay, so you agree that Euphoria and Glee are not similar?

Turd (18:32)

No, I'm not going to agree. Agree with your rejections of my brilliant calls. And like, those who know, now you know.

Jackie (18:38)

Yeah. Yeah. Anything else on the talk that you have to alert us about?

Turd (18:45)

Just more. Artemis.

Jackie (18:47)

Artemis. Cuties.

Turd (18:49)

You know, they're entering a part of orbit where, like, they will be out of communication. I miss for like 45 minutes.

Jackie (18:56)

I miss them.

Turd (18:58)

But them coming back on is like, you know, a big deal.

Jackie (19:00)

Yeah.

Turd (19:01)

Because like, if they're not, I feel like that's one of those movies, you know?

Jackie (19:03)

Yeah. Or it's like it's 45 minutes for us, but it's five years for them. That's like interstellar. If they go into like a different time space continuum and people are making

Turd (19:13)

like so many tick tock edits, I can face the odds. I can go the distance because that woman is actually. I didn't realize. She's like a history maker. She's the first woman to orbit the moon.

Jackie (19:25)

Oh, wow. Major for womankind.

Turd (19:30)

Major.

Jackie (19:31)

One small step for womankind. Slay, slay, mama.

Turd (19:36)

The future is female Herstory is happening today.

Jackie (19:41)

It is. That's pretty cool.

Turd (19:43)

I know.

Jackie (19:44)

I wonder what she's doing about her period.

Turd (19:46)

Well, hopefully her period doesn't come out of her throat due to gravity. Like, we're seriously disgusting. Like the first woman in space and we're talking about her period. But it's. It's a part of Toastler, if you guys don't know. We had a very viral video like, a couple of years ago where we were like, I wonder what happens if you go to space with your period. Like, does gravity cause the period to come out of your throat? Or like, does the tampon even stay in because of gravity? Like, whatever. It's just like kind of an honest and raw conversation. But we would never, like, diminish a woman's accomplishments to her period, just so you know.

Jackie (20:14)

No, but like, we don't even like talking about parents. That would be so inconvenient in the spacesuit.

Turd (20:19)

Not only would it be so inconvenient and having to change your tampon, like, in close quarters in the spaceship but also. No, that's it. Sorry, I didn't have anything.

Jackie (20:31)

How long end to end is the journey?

Turd (20:34)

I don't know. And it's been, what, a couple of days? I don't know.

Jackie (20:38)

Maybe she like, planned. It's so hard to be a woman.

Turd (20:42)

It is. So you know what I mean?

Jackie (20:44)

Like, how unfair.

Turd (20:46)

I do know what you mean.

Jackie (20:50)

Let's wrap. Let's just end the show. Because it's too hard to be a woman.

Turd (20:54)

Oh, I love that. Sorry I can't come today. I'm a woman. Love.

Jackie (21:01)

Love. Okay, let's get into the story, shall we?

Turd (21:05)

Yes. And I think it's very appropriate that today's episode is brought to you by Wayfair in the spirit of home design.

Jackie (21:12)

Wayfair, you got the hardware that I need? My hardware is coming today from Wayfair.

Turd (21:16)

It's Way day at Wayfair. You should have waited.

Jackie (21:19)

Don't worry, it's just samples, so I'm gonna order the rest for way day today. Thanks for the flag.

Turd (21:26)

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Jackie (22:51)

I love it.

Turd (22:52)

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Jackie (27:04)

Thank you Turdback.

Turd (27:06)

You're welcome. Jerd back.

Jackie (27:07)

Our first story, some scandal in sports world that has everyone a Twitter New England Patriots is Mike Vrabel and top New York Times NFL reporter Diana Rossini were spotted holding hands and hugging at a luxury hotel. Have you not seen this?

Turd (27:25)

No.

Jackie (27:26)

You haven't seen these pictures?

Turd (27:29)

I saw that and I thought it was Bill Belichick.

Jackie (27:31)

No.

Turd (27:32)

So he explained to me like why, like who are the players and why I care.

Jackie (27:36)

He's the head coach for the Patriots.

Turd (27:38)

Okay, so like formerly Bill Belichick.

Jackie (27:41)

The new Bill Belichick. Yeah, the new Bill Belichick. So that's a big job.

Turd (27:44)

Oh and then remind me to tell you about what happened with Alex Earl.

Jackie (27:47)

She used to be an anchor on ESPN SportsCenter and now she works for the New York Times is NFL publication called the Athletic.

Turd (27:57)

Everyone reads.

Jackie (27:58)

Right. But anyway, she's a big sportscaster in the NFL. He's a coach. They were spotted together in Sedona, like holding hands and then sitting poolside together. They are both married.

Turd (28:09)

Also who would recognize these people enough to take a picture?

Jackie (28:12)

And the person who recognized them and took pictures has pictures of them all over the hotel. Like when she sees them from afar, she takes a picture and then also

Turd (28:21)

how do you know it's a woman?

Jackie (28:21)

Because it's a woman. And when, when the, when the lady walks past her at the pool, she takes a picture. Look, look at this.

Turd (28:28)

She's obviously.

Jackie (28:29)

And then now old clips are resurfacing of like this lady.

Turd (28:33)

Oh, I saw this on Liz Wood's story and I just thought it was a funny clip, like somewhat recent. So I was cracking up. But now I understand she has a long history of like degrading her husband publicly.

Jackie (28:41)

Right. She old clips are resurfacing of like things that she used to say about him on her show when she was on SportsCenter. Just saying how he's like average and

Turd (28:49)

ugly and a loser. Yeah. Like really?

Jackie (28:50)

She joked about her marriage falling apart. She's like kind of crazy.

Turd (28:54)

Yeah. Yeah.

Jackie (28:55)

And now it seems as though she's stepping out on her mans with like someone else in the sports world, which makes it like a scandal for people.

Turd (29:02)

It's giving Amy and tj.

Jackie (29:04)

Yeah, it is.

Turd (29:05)

Yeah. Thanks for supporting my call.

Jackie (29:08)

You're welcome.

Turd (29:10)

This is so funny. Okay. I like, I've seen all the content that you just referenced. I did not know how they were connected. Wait, can I quickly tell you? Alex Earl, I meant to tell you this. Sure. So she did get ready with me like two days ago being like, get ready with me to go on a first date. And Yeah. I thought it was like, shockingly.

Jackie (29:25)

She's so authentic. She's so.

Turd (29:27)

Yeah. And then she did like an un get ready with me and slay because this video was so interesting. And she was doing her whole skincare routine.

Jackie (29:35)

Yeah.

Turd (29:36)

But she was basically saying how she doesn't think there's gonna be a second date. But I told the story of this like very strange date. It was at like 3:30 and she had plans that night. Like, so he came and picked her up and was like, dinner's at 7:30 in Malibu. And she's like, oh, I like, this is like a day date. Like, I have stuff to do tonight. I mean, he was like, but I'm so hungry right now. And she was like, okay, I'm not that hungry. And he like took her to Starbucks. No, I swear to God. She was like, I got like a coffee and like he got a croissant or something. And then we were just like driving around Malibu. Like the plan was like to go to Malibu and like walk on the beach a little bit and like hang out and then like have dinner or have a meal. Like, the timing was weird.

Jackie (30:17)

It sounds like she didn't have her schedule on lock either. Like.

Turd (30:20)

No, he was just very loose with it. And she was like, I have a date at 3:30. I can go out that night.

Jackie (30:25)

Yeah.

Turd (30:26)

So. And it's in Malibu. So she like tells the story. He's like driving around. She's like just driving. And he's driving further and further away from. And she was like, are we going somewhere? Like, we're driving really far. He's like, oh, no, no. I'm just, like, driving. And then she started to get a little scared. She was like, I'm, like, in a car with a strange man. She was like, we should, like, do something, like, go to a farmer's market or whatever. I actually didn't finish watching the video because, like, something happened, but I just thought it was so funny that this guy took her to Starbucks.

Jackie (30:49)

And you're telling me none of you saw Alex Earl and this random at Starbucks and took a picture?

Turd (30:54)

So then I was actually going to put it out on my Instagram. Like, I didn't want to be a drama. Like, I need, like, on a biblical level, I need to know who this day was, because obviously it was someone high profile, whether it's an individual who's wealthy or a celebrity. And, like, Duma, if you are worth your salt, you will find out who

Jackie (31:09)

the fudge this is 100%. I just, like, need to know the

Turd (31:12)

kind of guys that don't call yourself Duma. If you can't find out, I'm being dead serious.

Jackie (31:15)

And maybe she, like, got a tip, like, Alex Earl spotted with, like, random, you know, tech startup guy at Starbucks. And she was like, no, she. Who cares? No, she was like, I don't believe you because it's not believable.

Turd (31:28)

And the comments were like, girl, this is a bad date. Even for, like, our standards, like, regular people. This is a Starbucks. It was really crazy. I thought it was crazy that she was, like, talking about it so publicly. Starbucks. And then it ended up being this, like, catastrophic date.

Jackie (31:42)

Oh, my God. Well, she definitely doesn't want a second date because he's obviously. Obviously gonna see that. And he wouldn't want to go out with her again either, knowing that she spilled the beans.

Turd (31:51)

Yeah.

Jackie (31:51)

So she doesn't care.

Turd (31:53)

I often wonder about people who make, like, dating content, how you can, like, genuinely show your face.

Jackie (32:00)

No, you can't show your face. And if you ever do wind up liking someone, then your content is done. Like, unless that person's thirsty and is, like, happy to be a part of it. But, like, who are you?

Turd (32:12)

Unless. Let me introduce you to someone who I know you don't know. Her name is Danielle Walters.

Jackie (32:15)

I. I don't know.

Turd (32:17)

And I just want to say, like, I will, like, defend this girl till I die.

Jackie (32:20)

Tell me what she did.

Turd (32:21)

She did a lot of, like, single girl dating content. Like, very. From the POV of, like, Hopeless romantic, right? Like you know, really looking for a knight in shining armor, a Prince Charming, whatever. And she goes on dates and recaps them while she does her makeup, talks about like this guy, that guy, she never says their name, she's like oh, the guy from Starbucks or whatever. And people were just like along for the journey because it was very relatable. Just like this hopeless romantic, like Norma, nice girl looking for a normal nice guy and just like not being able to do that.

Jackie (32:46)

Yeah. And just like funny dating hijinks.

Turd (32:48)

And then she started dating this guy and it moved very quickly and as she was sharing like date number one, date number two, and she would, you know, share a lot about like milestones and like when you say I love you and like people were really taken aback at the speed in which the whole thing was happening and they were taking things that she said being like, he's love bombing you, he's abusive, you know, like the way people just the way they do run with things. And she was like a decently popular tiktoker but this particular relationship that she got into and then documenting it

Jackie (33:16)

really

Turd (33:17)

put her on a level of like, like the wrong side of the Internet. And she became so deeply hated, like Reddit hate accounts but like literally in, in sane. And it kind of blew up. This like her and her boyfriend, she's like, I have a boyfriend. Like it was so cute and sweet, whatever. Then she disappeared for like a couple of weeks slash, months and then she comes back and her hot content is very highly produced. So she comes back with these, this series and she's like sitting on a park bench and she just introduce, went to her boyfriend. I don't have to tell you the threads. I met him once, yada yada. He's just a guy, like I don't know anything about him. I think he used to be an Uber driver. They say he's like really thirsty and famous. Like who cares? They just got engaged. Okay. I don't know end to end, how long it's been. It's, it's obviously like a fast moving relationship, but she's a woman of a certain age and like she doesn't give a. And she like, you know, she does things her own way. Like she knew she was getting engaged. They like kind of set a date for it. They're very intentional with each other. They're like deeply in love. Why did I bring this up? You said because, I don't know, because

Jackie (34:14)

I said how can you get out of that, doing that sort of content when you find a real relationship. Because who would want to be like,

Turd (34:20)

well, now he's a part of it. And I think he also was, like, a little content creator before. Also, he's a little thirsty.

Jackie (34:25)

Okay, so that's what I said. You have to be with a thirst monster. Yeah.

Turd (34:28)

No, and just, like, seriously, leave her alone too.

Jackie (34:33)

Just because someone is a thirst monster, which, like, a lot of, like, men are, especially of women who are reality stars, like, doesn't mean they can't also be a decent partner.

Turd (34:43)

Agreed. And it's like, I'm thirsty. I'm a good person. I'm a thirsty person. Like, what's wrong? Thirsty is just a, like, a. A code word for networking. Like, I'm sorry. If he was a C suite executive moving like that, like, you guys wouldn't think twice just because it's on the Internet.

Jackie (34:55)

If he's using you, if he doesn't love you, if he actually dislikes you and just, like, pretends to like you, that's a different thing. But, like, you have to have be with someone then who's like. Or you no longer do that sort of content. Or you're with someone who's, like, down to clown and up for that sort of lifestyle, which not everyone is.

Turd (35:12)

Agreed.

Jackie (35:14)

So that's why it's kind of tough, like, when you actually do find a relationship. When you make that sort of content or you even. Not even a relationship, like someone you want to go on a third date with. It's like, wait, what do I tell them about the last date? What if he sees it and then he knows how I felt about our last date? Those. That's what's weirder.

Turd (35:28)

Yeah, of course. I mean, I don't know if I'd be defending this girl if she wasn't getting so much.

Jackie (35:32)

I. I have yet to hear what she's done wrong.

Turd (35:34)

Insane. Insane. She's just moving in ways in her relationship and her dating life that, like, other people wouldn't like.

Jackie (35:40)

Okay, it's giving. Jealous.

Turd (35:42)

It's gonna be jealous. They think all of her content is, like, so staged and fake. Even though she was upfront with her audience being like, no, no, we planned when to get engaged. She's not hiding anything. Like, it's just not how, you know, I would do it or it's not how someone else would do it. That doesn't make it wrong. Yeah, she's like a sweet little girl, and she, like, put a lot of wallpaper up in her house. That's how she got viral. She was doing all These, like, crazy diy. She lives in a really cute apartment that she, like, designed herself completely.

Jackie (36:03)

I, I, I've gotten to the wallpaper stage. I just, I just got past engagement. That's funny. I'm, I'm surprised she didn't come up for me because, like, I look at everyone with walls.

Turd (36:11)

Is she on reals?

Jackie (36:12)

She's unreal. She's a real person. She's a real person for sure. Well, mazel tov to her. I don't see the problem.

Turd (36:19)

I don't see the problem either, but I don't know how people, like, actually show their face when they, like, actively date.

Jackie (36:24)

It was like, say you went on a first date with someone and you had a good time, but your job is to, like, talk about your dates so you, like, made. Right.

Turd (36:31)

But the thing with Alex Earl is that it's actually not her job. So she, like, actually.

Jackie (36:34)

Yeah, no, I'm not saying you have to do, like, someone else and then you make a video. Like, I had to just had a great first date. He's like this and that, and then

Turd (36:40)

he saw that I would die. I would seriously die.

Jackie (36:43)

No, no, seriously.

Turd (36:45)

It's like that one time I made a Vine about Ben. You know, I never recovered from it. I'm still talking about it 15 years later.

Jackie (36:50)

Yeah, but you kind of, like, slay. Slayed, I would say you slayed in despite, like, not because of my digital footprint.

Turd (36:57)

A thousand percent. Okay, back to this, like, NFL drama.

Jackie (37:02)

Everyone, like, wants the next astronomer wants an xtj. Name me now. This is the as genre of the sports world. Sure. I'm just, like, not in the mood today.

Turd (37:10)

I know, I know.

Jackie (37:11)

And because I didn't even know of one of these people. Not a name, not a nothing. I can't now care. I can't now, like. And that would be so phony. Be like, outrage. How could Mike Vrabel do that to his beloved?

Turd (37:23)

I don't know.

Jackie (37:24)

Mike Rabel.

Turd (37:24)

Maybe he, I don't know these people. Maybe this is my plate.

Jackie (37:27)

Maybe he does it all the time.

Turd (37:29)

That's like a lot of the rhetoric on Scamandable right now, where it's like, oh, I don't know the players. Like, can somebody catch me up? It's like, no, sorry. Like, we've put in the work.

Jackie (37:37)

And if you don't know the players, you will never understand why it is such a significant. Because when I say, oh, it's her friend's ex boyfriend from two years ago, they dated for six months and now she Just got divorced and now she started dating him. Like, okay, that's kind of kosher. Like, but it's about the fact that her whole shtick when she didn't have a lot on the show aside from her marriage, was like, girl code in the bed, girls crying. Sierra. Like, you had to have watched that over and over again every week for the last two years to understand my. Such a betrayal.

Turd (38:06)

It's so true. Like, and actually, Bethany is kind of in hot water because she was doing press and was asked about it, and she obviously doesn't know, like, deep the lore. She's like, what's the big deal? A castmate date? Another castmate's boyfriend who she dated for a couple of months.

Jackie (38:16)

Yeah.

Turd (38:17)

Yeah. And it's like, well, it's so much deeper than that, Bethany.

Jackie (38:20)

But, okay, I saw Bethany's take, and that's obviously not my take, but, like, I appreciate the take. I. First of all, I like when people say different stuff, and I especially like when it's not popular. Like, it doesn't mean that she's right or wrong. Or we all have to, like. Like, be like, oh, how could she said that's what she thinks. Great.

Turd (38:33)

No, I. I also gather that, like, she doesn't actually know the context.

Jackie (38:36)

Actually knew. Because even when, you know, like, no one committed any crimes, there's no adultery here. It's just bad form, and it's bad friendship.

Turd (38:43)

It's just shocking.

Jackie (38:44)

It's just shocking is what it is. It's just shocking. And then also, I just want to

Turd (38:49)

say the label of Amanda, like, and I agree with you what you said, like, her whole thing was, girls, girls, girls, girl. That was such a false label. Nobody was meaner to the new girls. Like, why did every new girl become friends with Lindsay?

Jackie (38:57)

I don't even think.

Turd (38:57)

Gabby. Hello, Gabby.

Jackie (38:59)

I don't think she was mean to the new girls. I just think she was, like, a little bit. She's a. It's funny how, like, she's just, like, standoffish.

Turd (39:06)

She was like, you have to fend for yourself.

Jackie (39:07)

Yeah. And I felt like even with Lexi, she kind of was Lexi's connection to the house. And then she, like, didn't have Lexi's back. And I forget what happened in the scene on the porch where she's, like, telling Lexi what Jesse had said about her. Like, something like, that's upsetting to Lexi. And I just felt like she didn't

Turd (39:20)

have her comfort her.

Jackie (39:22)

And then when she saw, like, things weren't going, like, in the way of, like, Saying no, she didn't support Lexi at all. Lexi had no one in. Amanda was her connection to the house. Like, Like, I don't think she was mean to the mean girls. I just like, don't think that she ever was like, hey, I'm Amanda. Like, let's make you feel warm.

Turd (39:35)

And no, she was never welcoming. She was never welcoming. It was very much like fend for yourself.

Jackie (39:38)

But like, if agency Sierra had been welcoming, then she would have been welcoming.

Turd (39:41)

I just want to say when Paige

Jackie (39:43)

and Sierra were welcoming, she was welcoming Paige and Sierra.

Turd (39:45)

We just where everyone's like opening up old wounds about like Hannah and Jules. And I don't see enough people talking about Lexi. We are Lexi truthers. And I like, I can't even look at Jesse Solomon because of it. Like, it bothers me so much not enough people are talking about Lexi. Yeah, the girls were awful to her. Amanda specifically. Yeah.

Jackie (40:03)

And just like gaslighting her that she's crazy for wanting like her man to be appropriate around them. Because now we know like all this flirting, it's not brother sister.

Turd (40:11)

Oh, absolutely. Lexi clocked it first. How inappropriate. Everybody acts. You're sucking on Sierra's toe or whoever. Whose toe?

Jackie (40:17)

Was it a random. Oh, even worse, a random.

Turd (40:22)

Yeah. That's weird that everyone in this house is brainwashed into like fornicating with their friends.

Jackie (40:28)

No, like laying on top of each other in the bed, in the pool, in your bathing suit, the legs. And like, it's not weird. And it is. She was right for saying, like, Jesse obviously feels some sort of way about Sierra because this season he said he wanted to make out with Sierra, which I don't think you would make out with your sister. And she was also right for saying all these close friendships. Like, it's a little bit concerning because look, Amanda and was best friends. Brother, sister, brother says her justice for Lexi. And it's not just Jesse that I'm at. I'm mad at Bravo because she should have been there this season to like have a redemption, have a career. Like, they just brought her on this show, ruined her life, broke her heart and said go in the garbage can by.

Turd (41:09)

It's so true. The network like so left her hanging

Jackie (41:12)

out to dry after she like, I know she also liked Jesse back so it worked out. But he gave her no choice but to date him. Like he so aggressively pursued co opted her time, like was on top of her and she likes him and thought he was cute. So like, great. But like just totally took advantage of her life.

Turd (41:30)

Agreed.

Jackie (41:31)

Oh, it Makes me sick.

Turd (41:32)

Let's talk about Lexi.

Jackie (41:34)

Let's talk about Lexi Next. I guess we have to be like, what the jewels truthers have been Lexi truthers. Yeah. Yeah. Next, let's talk about summer house, actually, because Kyle Cook is sharing a little bit of a lover boy update as he cashes in on West Mandeval. You know what else I was thinking? Carl's a mess is the send it to Daryl of.

Turd (41:56)

Yes, West Mandeval. It's also like the goodbye Kyle of like, Lisa Vanderbilt. Yeah.

Jackie (42:02)

But like, Lala Kent literally bought a house off of sending Darryl merch, and now Carl's a mess is going to save lover boy.

Turd (42:09)

I believe they have Carl's a mess merch.

Jackie (42:11)

They do. They do. And he made a video. I guess everyone's been, like, buying merchant, supporting lover boy.

Turd (42:16)

I hope Carl gets a piece of that.

Jackie (42:18)

I feel like he will. Because also this season has been a lot about how Kyle hasn't supported Carl. And I feel like even if he takes a piece of that Merchant invests it in soft bar. Like, he absolutely has to or he's the biggest idiot on the planet.

Turd (42:29)

Like, yeah, yeah.

Jackie (42:30)

This is an alley. You like slam dunk.

Turd (42:32)

Yep.

Jackie (42:33)

Slam dunk opportunity.

Turd (42:34)

Like, I would actually wear a sweatshirt that says girls a mess. I think it's so funny. I thought goodbye to Daryl was like, no, send it to Daryl was really forced. I didn't think it was like, a funny. I think, like, I watched a video. I was impact unimpacted by what she said. And then everybody started saying, send it to Daryl. And I was like. Like, it just felt so forced being like, but this is so genuinely funny. Carl's a mess. Like, hilarious. I would wear a sweatshirt.

Jackie (42:58)

Wow, you've really done it.

Turd (42:59)

About face. No on Kyle. Well, it's hard to, like, hate someone who's like, such a loser. Like, yeah, he's just not threatening to me anymore.

Jackie (43:11)

Yeah. Also, I think lover boy is, like, doing better. I. I'm surprised they even made it from the summer until now given how he was talking about lover boys financials. He said they had six months, and it's. It's been more than six months since the end of August. I guess people are like, buying lover boy and buying merch right now. And.

Turd (43:26)

But I don't think they've been actively dropping new products. I think, like, they sell in a bunch of stores.

Jackie (43:30)

They're like, sunsetting a little bit.

Turd (43:32)

Yeah. Yeah. And I think they probably got a bunch of online orders.

Jackie (43:35)

I hope this doesn't encourage him. To, like, keep it going. No, because, like, this will fade, and then he's, like, back to what he had before, and I just. Like, it would just be so weird to me if you're like, oh, Amanda is hooking up with West. Let me buy a Lover Boy.

Turd (43:48)

Like, no, but people do. I mean, that's what happened with spritz. What?

Jackie (43:54)

Craig.

Turd (43:55)

Craig 20?

Jackie (43:56)

Oh, yeah. No, but we had launched a new flavor. Like, it was actually about, like, the product.

Turd (44:01)

No, we hadn't.

Jackie (44:02)

The Craig flavor.

Turd (44:03)

Yeah, but that's not what Craig20 was about.

Jackie (44:06)

The drama. Well, no, we were giving it. But we're giving you a discount, so buy it. Because there's a discount.

Turd (44:10)

Right?

Jackie (44:11)

Not just, like, Amanda.

Turd (44:12)

Also to support Craig from the slander.

Jackie (44:14)

Yeah. No, but it was also, like, we're running a promotion.

Turd (44:16)

Bravo fans do.

Jackie (44:17)

We're running a promotion based on. So, yeah. Oh, I can get this on sale.

Turd (44:21)

Great.

Jackie (44:22)

But this is, like, I didn't want Lover Boy for the last six years, but now that Amanda has hooked up with Wes, I want to love.

Turd (44:29)

Give me one of those espresso martini margarita teas. They have such crazy flavors. It's just funny.

Jackie (44:35)

But. Yeah, I guess that's just the. The circle of life. And happy for Kyle. Who would have ever thought?

Turd (44:44)

Who would have? And it's so funny because watching the new episodes, like, he's acting, like, so awful. Whatever. I don't know. I'm just, like, genuinely unfazed by it, where it used to actually make me so mad, but now it's like, well, no, she was obviously awful, so it's just.

Jackie (44:57)

It's so hard. And, like, two episodes ago, when he told her, you. Which was obviously so wrong. And I will condemn that every time he says in his confessional, like, all these p. All these guys in the house, like, say that they're here for me. They're here for me. But it's like, if you're really here for me, you would tell her to, like, stop, like, giving you guys all this attention and give some attention to her husband. And when he said that, it was before Wes Mandeval, and everyone's like, kyle, so terrible. But, like, now knowing, like, what she's capable of, it. It's actually sort of prophetic what she said.

Turd (45:22)

And I feel like no one's really willing to hear him out. So you don't even. Like, you don't even ingest what he says. But, like, even before West Mandible, I think we all could have agreed, like, she does spend a lot of time with the other guys, she's very flirty and touchy and it's like, well, yeah, I could see your husband, no matter how awful he is, being annoyed that, like, not only are you not spending time with him, but you're like, all over these other guys.

Jackie (45:43)

If we had said that before Wes Mandeval, we would have been so canceled.

Turd (45:47)

I know, I know.

Jackie (45:47)

Which is just a good reminder that, like, you should say the truth. Even, like, not that I felt like saying that then. I wasn't really thinking about them that much, but it's just a good reminder, like, say your truth before it becomes so painfully obvious. Right.

Turd (46:00)

Like, you couldn't defend Kyle.

Jackie (46:02)

No, you couldn't. And like, you really should. He told his wife you. But like, he had some points and they were just all. They were all lost by the way that he acted too.

Turd (46:10)

But, like, it's not the message, it's the delivery.

Jackie (46:12)

You could have never ever said that before before. Like, you couldn't have never said, well, maybe Amanda's not like the most like, amazing wife because he was a worse husband.

Turd (46:23)

Yeah. What came first, the chicken or the egg?

Jackie (46:25)

They're both still true. And it's also crazy how now that the, like, gates are open because she likes, like, now people can say like the nastiest about her and it's like, that's not nice either.

Turd (46:34)

No, people are taking it too far. Like, calm down. Yeah. Like, calm down. The bathing suitor meanwhile gobbling it up

Jackie (46:44)

so quickly of Haley Bieber.

Turd (46:46)

Like, shut up. Yeah. No, like, the Bravo fandom is so fickle. Like, it's so. It's crazy.

Jackie (46:52)

It's so scary.

Turd (46:53)

It's so scary.

Jackie (46:54)

Yeah. I mean, hyping up like Oliver Press, Amanda Betula.

Turd (46:58)

Right? Like, literally, our animatics slay mama.

Jackie (47:03)

Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? The housemaid author Freda McFadden reveals her true identity after living a double life for 23 years. So Frida McFadden is finally dropping the disguise and the double life. She revealed on Wednesday her real name, which is Sarah Cohen, and that she's a New York born doctor who treated brain disorders as she has built a publishing empire over the last 23 years. So she did an interview with USA

Turd (47:26)

Today saying, I'm gonna at a point

Jackie (47:28)

in my career when I'm where I'm tired of this being a secret. I'm tired of people debating if I'm a real person or if I'm three men. I am a real person and I have a real identity and I don't have anything to hide.

Turd (47:40)

Okay. So, like, I love this, but I feel like I knew this. I saw.

Jackie (47:44)

I'm glad there's a picture of her. Yeah, I've seen a picture of her.

Turd (47:47)

I've seen pictures, but I guess we never knew her biological government name. She always, like, she attended the red carpets for her books and stuff. But she wore a wig. Yes.

Jackie (47:56)

Yeah. And she's, like, wearing the same hair and glasses in this interview.

Turd (48:02)

Yeah. So maybe that's just her hair.

Jackie (48:03)

She said, I have no idea how to style my hair.

Turd (48:07)

Cracking up. So maybe she's rang away.

Jackie (48:09)

We also didn't know that she was a brain surgeon.

Turd (48:12)

I thought she was, like, a psychologist. I knew she was something like a doctor, Like.

Jackie (48:15)

Like a brain doctor, maybe. That could be a psychologist or a brain surgeon.

Turd (48:19)

It's so true.

Jackie (48:22)

She treats. I'm cracking up. She's a psychologist. She's not a surgeon.

Turd (48:26)

I'm cracking up. It must. Yeah, that's what I thought. Like, a very, very high level. She treats like very disturbed individuals.

Jackie (48:31)

We knew that.

Turd (48:31)

Yeah. So all of this I knew.

Jackie (48:33)

Yeah. So I didn't know her real name, which I guess I didn't know it was.

Turd (48:35)

That she was a Jew. Now I won't read her books. Now I won't read her books because she's a Jew. Clip it. Yeah. I won't read that Jew's books. I feel like Mark Ruffalo.

Jackie (48:55)

How does it feel?

Turd (48:58)

Powerful.

Jackie (48:58)

Yeah.

Turd (49:00)

Yeah. So, like, congrats. I thought we knew this, but congrats. Congrats.

Jackie (49:15)

I'm cracking the fuck up.

Turd (49:19)

Oh, my God, you sound so funny. Like, I'm seriously cracking.

Jackie (49:25)

Can we still call her Frida McFadden, though? Like, what's she gonna publish her next book as?

Turd (49:29)

That's what I was gonna ask.

Jackie (49:30)

Are you still free to read us?

Turd (49:33)

I think that she has to keep her name.

Jackie (49:36)

I just read it.

Turd (49:37)

Does a pen name only serve when they don't know your identity?

Jackie (49:42)

No. Like, I feel like pen names still serve. Like Lemony Snicket.

Turd (49:50)

Yeah. I think she should keep it. It's also such a great name.

Jackie (49:52)

Yeah. And, like, I want to read twisted thrillers from Free to make that and

Turd (49:56)

not from Sarah Cohen, some random Jew. Yeah, I'm all set. I like how she made herself Irish. Like, what do you. McFadden?

Jackie (50:10)

Frida.

Turd (50:11)

Frida. She, like, that's such, like, so opposite.

Jackie (50:15)

Yeah. I mean, maybe she was on to something. Would. Do you think she could have had. Had this success as a Jew?

Turd (50:21)

I have a pen name.

Jackie (50:23)

Co Journer's.

Turd (50:24)

Truth. Turtle. Free Bush.

Jackie (50:27)

That's not your pen name. Nobody calls you that.

Turd (50:29)

It's just my name.

Jackie (50:30)

No, your name is CO Jerner.

Turd (50:32)

Turdy Lou. Everybody calls me Turdi.

Jackie (50:35)

Your name is Turdy Lou.

Turd (50:36)

What? Like when I get stabbed in the street, Turdy Lou? Yeah, and that. Like even like friends of mine call me.

Jackie (50:45)

Of course. Everybody sisters.

Turd (50:47)

And you know, I've always wanted a nickname. Like, I just love it so much.

Jackie (50:50)

Turt.

Turd (50:52)

Sure.

Jackie (50:52)

Really Turtle?

Turd (50:54)

Really Turt? Yeah. Really Jew.

Jackie (50:59)

Well, anyways, I'm happy for Frida that she feels unburdened by the thing that I didn't know was burdening.

Turd (51:05)

She's putting the free in Frida.

Jackie (51:06)

Yeah, she's free. But I guess like for like, you know, uncultured swine, they didn't know. But like we're so close to it. Like we've read every book. Like we did know this because we also like see her picture when we go on Goodreads and we click the book. So like, yeah, she had to like put herself out there for like, probably new fans of the housemaid. People who only watch movies don't read books, right? Yeah. So now you know.

Turd (51:25)

The remainder of today's show is brought to you by booking dot com. Booking dot com. Booking dot yeah, yeah, yeah. Booking dot com offers a wide array of hotels and vacation rentals across the US So you can find exactly what you are booking for. There's something for everyone, even those who are impossible to please. So whether you're booking for yourself, your partner should be very generous of you picky teenagers or a mom who sleeps late and rises early. You can find exactly what you're looking for@booking.com or I could say you can find exactly what you're booking for. So obviously it's great. You know, booking.com. i like booking.com because I feel like I'm always running out of ideas of like places to travel. And their website is super helpful in helping find where to go and then of course where to stay. And for different trips you just require different things. You know, sometimes you need a big house with lots of rooms, cribs, kitchens, sinks. And that's really helpful. Booking dot com. Sometimes it's just you and your man's and you know, you can relax and you could just do like a party hotel with a swim up bar and a casino. Whatever you're looking for. Hooking.com. hooking.com. I'm cracking up. Booking.com has exactly what you need. So find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com booking. Yeah, you can book today on the site or in their app, which is the booking.com app or their website is. It's what? Oh, yeah, it's booking.com b O-O-K-I-N-G.com if we can find our perfect stay on booking.com, anyone can. Today's episode is also brought to you by Legacy Box. With Mother's Day fast approaching, Legacy Box is an amazing gift for the entire family. So you can relive old family memories like wedding days, first steps, an embarrassing haircut you might have had in the 90s, reconnect with your family's history and hear your grandmother's voice again for the first time. So this is honestly such a great gift for Mother's Day. 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Because then not only you're giving a gift, but you're also then giving, like, the experience because then you can sit around all day, like, watching home movies, crying, you know, eating popcorn. So cute. It's such a good gift. And take advantage of the sale because legacybox.com toast will help you save 60 during their best Mother's Day sale ever. So that's legacybox.com toast. Today's episode is also brought to you by Rocket Money. Cardboard Cadets. Listen up. So if you want to, you know, get your finances in order, be a little bit more organized, or just like, have a good understanding of how you are spending your money, I love Rocket Money as a personal finance app with so many amazing features. I think a Lot of people get into the app for their subscriptions so they help you find all the subscriptions, cancel the unwanted ones and just make sure you're not. When I did it, I was like paying for a Furbo Dog camera. And at that point like Theo had died like a year later. Like I was, you pay for so much. I was paying for two Kindle Unlimited. Like they help you find, get organized. Then if you want to cancel any of them, some people, some other apps like help you find but then they don't help you cancel. And it's like, then I have to talk to customer service. They help you cancel them. And then once you use all the apps, premium features that I think a lot of people do after the subscriptions because it's so such a positive experience. You can save so much money. You can also budget for things if you're wanting to save up for like a trip or something special, perhaps a purse. You can set budgets, goals, get personalized insights, regular reports and receive real time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds and low balances. So user users who create a financial goal with Rocket money save over $70 on average within the first 30 days. So they have automated savings that help you grow towards goals. 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Jackie (55:54)

A S T thank you Turt Money.

Turd (55:56)

You're welcome, Turt Money.

Jackie (56:01)

Next. Lauren Conrad has an awkward response to her nemesis Spencer Pratt's LA mayoral bid. So the new Laguna beach old reunion on Roku is coming out soon. They're doing press and Stephen, Kristen and Lauren, which is so crazy.

Turd (56:18)

They were all on it's insane.

Jackie (56:19)

The Today show with Jen and Bush, Hager and Chanil, Neil Jones. They were asked if they would vote for Spencer. Great question.

Turd (56:26)

Yeah.

Jackie (56:28)

Lauren responded, I'm not a resident of la. And Stephen said, we live in Orange County. Kristen said, I've seen it everywhere. I can't get away from it. She said, I don't live in LA either, but I think he's on to something. We'll see what happens. I will always have a soft spot for Spencer. She then the. The host inquired whether Lauren and Spencer have since squashed their beef from their time on the show. And like, Lauren, she said she was confused. She was like looking at Kristen and then. And didn't answer. And she, then she was like, oh, I didn't know the question was for her. She thought it was for someone else. And like, didn't answer. And then she said, you're asking me about people I haven't spoken to in decades. Agreeing that she doesn't care at this point.

Turd (57:05)

I mean, the refreshing thing about Lauren Conrad is she's probably one of the only people from reality TV who has like genuinely no interest in. In ever being on TV again. She's completely not media trained. So it's very refreshing to like, just hear a normal person talk. She was on Kristen Cavallari's podcast talking just about like, you know, her decision to do the Roku thing and her obsession with like not wanting to be famous and how her time during the Hills, I guess it was just like so successful, all the different ventures like the books and the shows that she just doesn't have to work. And she's so blessed because she just like lives with her family and she hangs out with her friends and that's exactly how she wants it. It's just like, like it's so unbelievable to Kristen Cavallari, who's like the total opposite, who's been like hustling from the second that the show ended. And it's just two totally different girls with two totally different perspectives. So this question is just like, you're not gonna get like a media trained. I wonder if like somebody even briefed Lauren on like that this might potentially come up. Former cast mate and like, maybe, you know, to have like a more polished answer. And like, I do believe that she didn't think the question was for her because she's so not. Not strategic.

Jackie (58:07)

Yeah. I also think she hates him.

Turd (58:10)

Yeah.

Jackie (58:11)

Still does. Always will. Like, you just never forget your first. And even though you think I go, it's reality TV and it's 10 years later, like to her, like, that's her Roman Empire. Like, she's not moving on. Especially like, why would she move on? Nothing's happened to make it better. No.

Turd (58:26)

And I actually think the beef is not even from the show because we know so much of the show was scripted and like, maybe, you know, you're just young and yeah, they thought he was a bad boyfriend. But you know, Heidi and Spencer have a great Marriage.

Jackie (58:36)

It was like, a sex tape thing that she. When they were fighting on the show, it was because, like, Heidi and Spencer, she said Heidi and Spencer started a rumor that, like, she had a sex tape with Jason Waller that was out there. And that's when she's like, you know what you did?

Turd (58:52)

Oh, that's really bad. But I also was gonna say, I think a lot of her resentment is things that Spencer has said long after the show. Right.

Jackie (58:59)

Like, try up.

Turd (59:00)

No. And he, like, was trying to reverse psychology, like, Lauren's the villain, trying to, like, turn people on. Lauren. And so I think a lot of it, like, maybe you can get past, like, teenage drama. Yeah, the sex tape, maybe not so much, but I think a lot of it is, like, not even about the show. It's about the years later. Like, they kind of don't stop.

Jackie (59:18)

Yeah, that's true. I don't know how much she sees of that, but I think it's like, just, like, that was, like, friendship ending for her, and, like, nothing since then has, like, brought it back. But it is so interesting how she was able to, like, make, I guess, enough money from the show and, like, her. Her ventures afterwards, because she still, like, works and, like, has her line at, like, cold content. Just like that. She set herself up so nicely to not have to work forever, where it's like, no one else has been able to really do that in reality tv.

Turd (59:45)

Well, she probably, like, took the deals that other people didn't want. You know, you're on top of the world. Who wants to work with Kohl's. Right. But she has a licensing line there for, what, what, 15 years now? Yeah, like, it's so smart. And I think she makes mailbox money. And yeah, she does have Instagram, and I think she's, like, a little blog company. Whatever. I don't think that's really what's paying the bills.

Jackie (60:05)

No, but she's, like, a lifestyle influencer.

Turd (60:09)

Like. Yeah, but she doesn't do, like, a million brand deals.

Jackie (60:11)

No, but she used to. Well, she has to, like, you know, have a brand out there in order for people, like, want to buy her stuff. And certainly in the years after the Hills, she did, like, more life. Like, she was, like, such a vibe, you know, the hair.

Turd (60:23)

Oh, my God. Her book books, her coffee table books,

Jackie (60:25)

and, like, her braid in her hair and, like, the waves and the pictures.

Turd (60:28)

Like a Tumblr girl.

Jackie (60:29)

Yeah. And so, like, I think she actually has, like, a really great household name of, like, oh, if you're telling me it's Lauren Conrad. I know the vibes.

Turd (60:37)

Yes, yes. Beachy California.

Jackie (60:39)

Yeah. Yeah.

Turd (60:40)

And she looks the same.

Jackie (60:41)

I want to watch her on Kristen's podcast and I wonder why she decided to do the reunion.

Turd (60:46)

She talks about it because she wants to put a pin in it forever. And so they were doing this with or without her. And so she felt like it was the perfect way to close the chapter because she gets a million opportunities over the years to do this, talk about it.

Jackie (61:03)

She never does back. She didn't go on it.

Turd (61:06)

I think she had a very positive experience to doing Back to the beach, which they spoke about on Kristen's podcast again. And she thought this was like, the perfect way to end it. It was happening. She didn't want to not be a part of it. And she's like. And I'd never want to talk about it ever again.

Jackie (61:19)

Okay. And you know what? I want to watch it because now that I love Stephen from Traders. What a guy.

Turd (61:26)

Yeah, what a guy.

Jackie (61:28)

Also, our fifth and final story is some more like reality t og reunion news. How much did they pay them? Because Roni icons Bethany, Ramona and Sonia have teamed up for a skin care advertisement and an icon.

Turd (61:43)

They're doing a campaign together.

Jackie (61:45)

They're doing a campaign together, but it's very big. So Roni legends Bethenny Frankel, Ramona Singer and Sonya Morgan recently reunited in Paris to shoot a campaign for French skincare brand Rocks. Latest and most advanced anti aging launch. Retinol Correction. Deep wrinkle Rich cream. They did like a whole sketch. It was like, called the Reunion. It was like. And it was about, like, Bethany getting her friends ready to be back on tv. They're like, like, it's like, I guess it's scripted, but it's comedy. She's saying, like, so that they don't. We need to get them looking good so they don't embarrass me. Like, it was just so. It literally felt like I was watching like an old episode of Housewives.

Turd (62:20)

And what's funny is that they were spotted filming this in Paris. And I think everybody thought that Bethany was finally joining the golden years.

Jackie (62:26)

Yeah.

Turd (62:26)

And that they take a group trip to Paris. And I thought that's what it was too. And I was like, oh, my God, that's so funny. Like, Bethany made a million videos saying how she would never do it, and then here she is. I think this is a perfect way for her to engage. Obviously, they all probably got paid extremely handsome. Handsomely.

Jackie (62:39)

That's always, I imagine Bethany got paid so much for this because for her to like, you know, go back to doing like, you know, Roni Lore sort of stuff. They're going to Paris there. She's putting all of her like brand and endorsement behind skincare line. Like, I think this is a huge campaign for them.

Turd (62:57)

Yeah. Rock is also like a party skincare line. And I feel like Bethany's really particular about like where she. And so I think it's, I think it's fabulous for everyone. I'm sure Ramona and Sonia were thrilled.

Jackie (63:07)

Yeah. And I also think it's so smart to like tap these women who have aged in the public eye like very gracefully for 20 years. Like you want to sell anti aging cream, like get.

Turd (63:16)

I don't know if I would say very gracefully.

Jackie (63:19)

But physically.

Turd (63:20)

Physically, yeah, but not like behavior.

Jackie (63:22)

I'm saying physically, like Ramona's in her 70s.

Turd (63:25)

It's insane.

Jackie (63:26)

Right. Or she's in her 60s.

Turd (63:28)

Late 60s.

Jackie (63:29)

Late 60s. If you want to advertise your anti aging skin care line, call Ramona Singer. I can't think of someone who is so true. Better endorsement for looking fabulous at any age. Looking ageless, looking like someone Rock should actually come out with a line in collaboration with her called Ageless by Ramona Singer. Like, I think that's, it's such a great. Yeah.

Turd (63:54)

Housewives don't get tapped enough because there are, it's, you know, it's a show that focuses on older women and there are a. But. And yeah, of course they're all very open about the fact that they have work done, which is fine. But there are many women on the network who are like insane looking for their age and they should tap into that more.

Jackie (64:08)

Yeah. It's a huge market. I feel like they, you know, everyone's like, oh, who's Gen Z? But like, don't forget about the anti aging women who want, who don't forget

Turd (64:16)

the, the boomers with disposable income, with spending power. Correct.

Jackie (64:20)

So I think this is really. And I thought the sketches were so cute. I couldn't believe that they got the three of them, especially Bethany, to like participate. I'm like, like, the budget is massive.

Turd (64:29)

I, you know, I appreciate that about Bethany. Like she, you know, stands where she stands and she says what she says. But she can be bought. That's extremely relatable.

Jackie (64:37)

She can be bought, but it has to be like really worth it. And I don't think she would do it for like any old skincare brand and any amount of money. So like, I, I don't know, I just Feel like this is a ringing endorsement. It's really a sleigh.

Turd (64:51)

Yeah, I. I enjoyed it very much,

Jackie (64:52)

and the content was really good. It was making me nostalgic.

Turd (64:55)

And I'm like, Bethany was, like, making them do tick tocks. I was cracking up.

Jackie (64:58)

So funny. And they also like talking about skincare in between. It's hysterical. But it. But it worked. And, like, Bethany has to go on the new show. I'm sorry.

Turd (65:05)

I know. I, like, I understand. I do. But I think not only do they need it because she's so polarizing, like, something about her just grinds the gears. And maybe Kelly Bensmod would have to be escorted out, and I think that would be fine.

Jackie (65:22)

Oh, because they don't talk like.

Turd (65:24)

No. I think Bethany, like, actually would never film with. With Kelly Bensbone ever again. And I would. I would understand. I would. So. Okay, okay. But I think she should do it like I do.

Jackie (65:33)

And this was just such a fun treat to watch.

Turd (65:35)

And I think also maybe part of her hesitation is, like, I do think while she's okay with Jill, I think they've got, like, just tension. That's what I'm saying. So I think that. I do think that they're fine. Like, they'll say hi to one another, but I do believe that they both, like, deeply, deeply hate each other. And now Jill's not on the show, so, Beth, that he should come.

Jackie (65:56)

Oh, okay. Because I'm like, well, if they hate, like, yeah, like, Bethany's not at a

Turd (66:02)

place where she needs to put herself in situations like that.

Jackie (66:04)

And, like, the whole thing, that was, like, reality TV reckoning. And she's very, like, anti reality tv. So I don't really know how that would all work, but I also think they'll have, like, way more control over what they're doing versus when they were just starting out and, like, needed the show and would have done anything to, like, make it work. It's just different plan playing field.

Turd (66:20)

I'm. I hope she had a good experience with them on the skincare collab. And maybe it'll be the motivation. The motivation that she needs to. To join the show.

Jackie (66:29)

It's giving Toasty lions. I just want to say. Yeah, it was like they threw them out of Paris.

Turd (66:35)

Very high brow to France. Oh, France.

Jackie (66:39)

Sivu play super blue.

Turd (66:43)

Well, that's our show. A Narafi Narrath. I can't see hour seven.

Jackie (66:49)

Hour seven. Okay. It's Nuraf bordering.

Turd (66:52)

It's on the border.

Jackie (66:53)

On the border of Niloth.

Turd (66:54)

And I'm the Border Patrol and today's episode is over. Thank you guys so much for listening to the toast and Monday morning show where we deliver the Fast 5 stories I need to every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So you're watching us on YouTube. Please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as podcast. Every podcast can be found set Spotify, itunes, Stitcher Public radio I read a castbox all the place web bills in the podcast A toast leave a five star review about a beautiful about a stunning about how wickedly talented we are.

Jackie (67:17)

Love you bye.