Ozempic Curious with Jared Freid: Thursday, November 13th, 2025

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Toast – “Ozempic Curious with Jared Freid”

Date: November 13, 2025
Hosts: Claudia Oshry (“Claude”)
Guest: Jared Freid

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Overview

In this high-energy, candid episode of The Toast, Claudia Oshry welcomes back comedian and podcaster Jared Freid for a deep, hilarious, and refreshingly honest conversation. They navigate topics ranging from Jewish family dynamics and food anxieties, the cultural impact of Ozempic and GLP-1s, the trials of modern dating, and the realities of making it as a stand-up comic in today's media landscape. The episode is peppered with personal anecdotes, sharp observations about internet culture, and witty banter about the highs and lows of fame, career validation, and self-acceptance.

The main theme is both comedic and vulnerable: the lifelong struggle with weight, food, Jewish parental expectations, and how all of that collides in the current Ozempic era—plus the oddities and insecurities of internet-fueled comedy and modern dating.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jared’s Toast Audience & Jewish Upbringing

• Jared reflects on his previous Toast appearance and the feedback from the passionate “Toast” community, noting its uniquely enthusiastic nature and familial “mishpuka” vibe.

  “The Toast community, it’s huge. In love. I am—the mishpuka here is crazy.” (01:00)

• Shared experiences of Jewish mothers critiquing appearance, especially the use of the word “heavy.”

  “Moms use the words that, like, crush heavy. … The word ‘heavy’ is, like, tattooed to my memory.” (02:05)

• Food and body image were ever-present topics at home:

  “Eat, eat, eat. Stop eating. You’re getting heavy.” (06:49)

2. Ozempic & GLP-1 Culture

• Both hosts speak candidly about the social and psychological implications of weight struggles and food anxieties.
• Jared is pressured by his parents to try Ozempic, humorously describing himself as “Ozempic curious.”

  “My parents…are pro—oh, I’m pro-zempic.” (08:19)

• Claudia shares her own journey with GLP-1s, describing the mental freedom it provided from constant food noise.
• They discuss Dr. Terry Dubrow’s advice to microdose GLP-1s for longevity—even for those not overweight (10:36).

3. Comedy Career Validation & The Media Game

• Jared’s career as a stand-up comic: personal story arcs, connecting with audiences (especially Jews but extending universally through “mom” stories).
• The difference between internet and traditional career milestones: Netflix specials vs. TV spots vs. viral content.

  “When you get the Netflix special, you go, of course...I felt as confident as I’ve ever felt. And now I’m not a confident person.” (16:33)

• Discussion of the flattening of media, how everyone is a content creator, and how much harder it is to stand out, especially comedically.

4. Internet Fame, Standup, and Audience Demographics

• The overlap between Jared’s internet following (female-driven, “Toasters”) and his standup crowd.
• Navigating assumptions in both spheres:

  “I get a lot of boyfriends at the show…What’s this guy? He must be lying to my girlfriend if he likes him.” (19:00)

• Jared’s honesty as a “voice for women” while being a single man and how that complicates dating.

5. Modern Dating, Gender Culture, and Scott Galloway

• Deep dive into differences in male and female dating priorities and the current landscape, referencing Scott Galloway’s recent book about men’s loneliness.
• Jared pushes back on viral “man-bashing” and the internet’s incentives for “punching up” at men, while also acknowledging the cultural complexities and the need for “taking the air out of” big topics with humor (21:34–22:07).

6. Cultural Commentary & Accessible Comedy

• Discussion of the importance of not speaking in extremes, seeing both sides, and keeping commentary relatable (24:53).
• Claudia and Jared laugh about “icks” in dating—what turns someone off—and how those can be highly subjective and internet debates about them often miss the point (23:05–24:53).

7. Celebrity Culture

• They riff on SNL feuds, like Eddie Murphy’s long-standing grudge over a single joke, and Bethenny Frankel’s ability to monetize her own memes.
• They analyze the best strategy when celebrities are mocked online: lean in and have fun (“Yes, and”—the comedian’s response), as with Bethenny and Lea Michele (43:34).

8. Body Image, Instagram, and Amy Schumer

• Amy Schumer deletes pre-weight loss photos from her Instagram; Claudia and Jared discuss public scrutiny of women’s bodies, especially female comics.

  “There is nothing more backstabbing than seeing a picture where you don’t like it on a night where you got dressed, thinking you look good.” (52:17)

• Claudia relates, expressing understanding for anyone wanting to erase a visual record of an old self after a transformation (51:31–52:14).

9. Random News & Social Commentary

• The end of the penny (minted final one):

  “What are dads gonna talk about now? … That’s like a going dad fact where it’s like, you know, the penny costs more to make than…” (57:55)

• The hilariously disastrous ferry incident in England where an adult film was accidentally shown to families:

  “I love the idea of British children being horrified by a porno on TV.” (66:44)

10. Personal Growth and Self-Acceptance

• Claudia and Jared get candid about the reality of not being universally liked, audience feedback, and the delicate art of being “an acquired taste.”

  “What happens online is because we’re direct to consumer, and the consumer knows that, they feel the need to yell on their way out of the store.” (70:08)

• Self-acceptance, evolution, and taking criticism in stride.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Jewish Moms:

  “Moms use the words that, like, crush heavy. … The word ‘heavy’ is like, tattooed to my memory.” — Jared (02:05)

• On Food & Body Image:

  “If I see someone put a creamer in their coffee, I'm like, we are not alike, right? You and I.” — Jared (07:23)

• On Ozempic Pressure:

  “My dad literally looked at me and goes, 'It’s not about if you’re gonna take it, it’s when you’re gonna take it.'” — Jared (10:24)

• On Comedy Validation:

  “When you get the Netflix special, you go, of course. I felt like as confident as I’ve ever felt. And now I'm not a confident person.” — Jared (16:33)

• On Being a Crowd-Pleaser:

  “When you tell people you're a comedian…Oh, really? … 'Netflix.' And then: game over. Yeah, done.” — Jared (15:27)

• On 'Icks' and Internet Outrage:

  “One woman’s ick could be another woman’s husband.” — Jared (23:51)

• On Not Being for Everyone:

  “So when, like, someone’s like, I’ve seen your stuff on the internet, I’m like…But clench—say funny. Where is this going?” — Jared (68:37)

• On Getting Over Haters:

  “If you can't have fun with what I do, time to look in the mirror and say, hey, miserable fuck. Time to cheer up.” — Jared (69:27)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:00] – Jared on his relationship with the Toast fanbase
• [02:05] – Crushing words from Jewish mothers
• [06:49] – Early food and weight culture at home
• [08:19] – Jared’s parents push Ozempic
• [10:36] – Dr. Dubrow and microdosing GLP-1s for longevity
• [15:27] – Netflix special: career validation
• [19:00] – The “boyfriend effect” at standup shows
• [22:27] – Speaking in the “key of me” as a male dating voice
• [24:53] – Not speaking in extremes, seeing both sides
• [23:51] – The relativity of “ick” in dating
• [43:34] – Celebrity scandal reactions: yes-and vs. denial
• [51:29] – Amy Schumer’s body transformation and Instagram
• [57:55] – The penny is retired
• [66:44] – British ferry accidentally plays adult film
• [68:27] – Not being “for everyone” and learning acceptance
• [70:08] – Direct-to-consumer products (and personalities) and criticism

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Overall Tone

The episode brims with self-deprecating humor, warmth, and honesty. Claudia and Jared riff with authentic vulnerability about subjects that aren’t often discussed so openly, especially male body image and food struggles, while keeping the mood light and engaging. Their comedic chemistry, willingness to tackle awkward subjects, and refusal to sugar-coat make this episode especially resonant for listeners who grapple with similar life pressures—and anyone craving a real, no-filter conversation about the intersection of comedy, culture, and self.

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Final Thoughts

The Toast with Jared Freid is a masterclass in mixing humor and heart. Whether dissecting the absurdities of pop culture, sharing embarrassing family moments, or discussing the gnawing anxieties of body image and dating, the episode leaves listeners feeling seen, entertained, and more than a little less alone.

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Listen to the full episode for:

• More hysterical asides about Jewish family, standup pitfalls, and Ozempic culture
• Claudia and Jared’s distinctive takes on pop culture news
• Unfiltered, relatable honesty about flaws, fame, and food

Transcript

[A]

Good morning, girlies. It's the Toast. It's Jackson Claude, and we're your host. It's your favorite show. The best five things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly. It's the Toast. They sound amazing. Welcome back to the Toast and happy. Oh, Thursday, I am joined by somebody who's been on the Toast before, who was highly requested and kind of does give, like, energy of my husband. It's Jared Freed. Hey, Jared.

[B]

What a beautiful compliment. I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for having me back.

[A]

Thank you for dressing up. Let's talk about your outfit today.

[B]

So I listened to the Bethenny Frankel episode and you were like, thank you for dressing up. And then I thought back to my last appearance with Jackie, and I'm in a cut sleeve shirt.

[A]

What's a cut sleeve shirt?

[B]

Remind me like, no sleeves. Like a Del Rey.

[A]

Did you have your arms out?

[B]

Comes out. I looked like a total crazy Florida man. And my mom, I got done with it. My mom goes. Because all. Listen, let me just say, the toast community, it's huge. In love. I am. I am. The mishpuka here is crazy. Love them. I was at the airport. I'm at PBI yesterday. A girl comes up to me. She goes, are you here for the toast?

[A]

Oh, my God, I love that girl.

[B]

She was amazing. I go, I actually am. I flew back early so that I could be on with you. And so then I was like, I. I was like, I gotta get dressed up. I gotta look. I gotta bring Bethany energy here.

[A]

I dress mogul for you. But let me tell you why. Because you're a podcaster. Podcasters know it's like a cozy. Whenever somebody comes on and they're not a podcaster, like, I knew Bethany was gonna show up in a dress and heels. So I, like, leveled up a little bit.

[B]

You're so right.

[A]

So then I wore my leggings and my cardigan today. Cause I'm like, it's Jared. He hosts two podcasts.

[B]

I know I never shut the fuck up. And I know I listen. But then I left this show last time and, like, listen, the southeast Florida people were talking. And my mom goes, look what you wore. You look sloppy. Are you kidding me? You don't shave. You have a beard. Like, you know, you get that review.

[A]

From mom that's devastating.

[B]

And moms use the words that, like, crush heavy. You look heavy. The word heavy is, like, tattooed to my memory. Like, it makes sense.

[A]

It's almost worse than fat.

[B]

Heavy's Much worse than fat.

[A]

Yeah, there's such a, like, a dark connotation there.

[B]

Fat is, like, off the cuff.

[A]

Heavy. Thought. Fat is fun.

[B]

Yeah, Heavy. You've put thought into it. You've thought about my health.

[A]

Yeah, I was gonna say heavy has health implications, for sure.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

It's like what a doctor says. Like, a doctor wouldn't say fat. A doctor would say heavy.

[B]

Totally. You know, I coined the term heavy.

[A]

Oh, you did?

[B]

Yes. I. I actually invented the word heavy.

[A]

And you wrote the camper and the counselor.

[B]

Right, I wrote that. I. I am the inventor of all things heavy.

[A]

You guys, Bethany was on yesterday. I just have to say, the power of Bethany is so real, like, I could not believe the amount of like, likes comments. Like, she's such an. And, you know, force, especially on TikTok, like, which. And I'm not making a comment about her age. It's just like a younger. I mean, I strive. I feel old on the way. Like, her content. Every time we mentioned her, like, it's. She's so magnetic and she is this sort of just like lightning rod. Whatever she says, people have something to say about. And I can tell you in person, it was very disarming because she was really nice. And I don't know if I was expecting her to be nice. Do you know what I mean?

[B]

I totally understand because everything feels like an argument with her.

[A]

Right. And we're used to seeing her on tv, too.

[B]

Totally. I just. I think she's fantastic. I am a fan. I also like discussing her.

[A]

She's so interesting.

[B]

She's so interesting. She's, you know, you talked about, like, the money she's made. She's unbelievably successful. So, like, that is, like, without saying. She doesn't even have to say it. She will say it. She'll make sure to let you remind you how successful she is. And that's why it's so fun to discuss her. Like, I think she's lightning rod, a thousand percent.

[A]

Built for TikTok and built for TikTok. And she said so many interesting things. I don't know if you saw this part where she said that her now, like, you know, second career as a content creator influencer, like, day to day, makes so much more money than her former life as, like, a TV star.

[B]

Right. Well, the world is flattened as far as media is concerned. You know that here, like, there's. There's like, maybe less people watching each thing, but they're zoned into those things and there's less people watching the main Major stuff, you know, totally random.

[A]

You know what? I just remembered? The last time I saw you was not even planned. I went to the Comedy Cellar with, like a bunch of friends, and you were there. I have to tell you, I had never seen your Santa before. I'm familiar with, like, your Internet Persona, not your IRL Persona. Hysterical.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't expecting much. You know, someone, you're like, oh, yeah, there's like, no. And stand up is just like, very particular too.

[B]

I love. I am a stand up comedian. That's who I am. So I love doing. I'm on the road right now. I'm doing a tour. So thank you. I appreciate it, everyone. I'm Fort Lauderdale. Come to my show.

[A]

I would love that. You a question? I'm being so Bethany right now. Your Internet career, your standup career, how do they match up revenue wise? I'm just like, nosy.

[B]

Huh. I guess to me, it's all. I don't really, like, divide it that way. I think it's somewhat even. They're both doing, you know, mediocre. I need more of both.

[A]

Right, right, of course.

[B]

So whatever Bethany is saying no to, I'll take those other things.

[A]

The power of.

[B]

No, the power. I'm all about the power of. Yes. And more. More, more.

[A]

The power of what I can get.

[B]

Yeah. The power of. Please let me keep doing this. Please. I'm desperate. I need you. I need Jews to start, you know, going to my shows more.

[A]

Is that your demographic? Mostly?

[B]

I. I kind of say that because I think we all kind of have to have our people when it comes to, like, you know, the people that. The toast community. Whenever I meet them, I go, that's a toaster. You know, like, you know them. And then when you see someone outside of that community, I'm also, like, incredibly someone that I wouldn't recognize in my show. I'm like, I love it. I'm like, so excited that you get it. You're into it. You know, when I do my standup, like my last show that I taped, it was basically an episode of Seinfeld. And so the whole thing connected. The end connected to the beginning. And it was all about going to the beach with my family. And I tell this story and it went from a two minute story to an hour story. And then I'd have Jews come up to me and they're like, oh, my.

[A]

God, that's my life.

[B]

That's my life. And do not Jews get it? And it's like just like an episode of Seinfeld?

[A]

That's a good question.

[B]

Well, just like an episode of Seinfeld. That's a Jewish show to us.

[A]

Oh, yeah, but it's such a.

[B]

Never mentions being Jewish.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Rarely. And that's kind of how I do my shows. Cause I'd have everyone of every background come up to me and go, that's my mom.

[A]

Right, right, right, right, right.

[B]

Like, the mom saying you look heavy.

[A]

To me is a universal experience.

[B]

That is everyone. That word, it hits you and gives.

[A]

You a chill down between the eyes.

[B]

Totally. Like, my mom, literally on the way here, I'm calling her to let her know, like, I'm on my way here. And she goes, do you have a beard? Do you have a beer? And I'm like, can I just get through one sentence with you?

[A]

Right?

[B]

She goes in the saddest direction with every conversation in terms of, like, your.

[A]

Household growing up and food and weight. Like, what was the vibe?

[B]

Oh, my God. Eat, eat, eat. Stop eating. You're getting heavy.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Like, food foist upon and, well, you know, Bethany. Listen, I love Bethany, but, like, the idea that she's, like, not on board with Ozempic. Like, get. I think being a good friend, that.

[A]

Was somebody clearly who had never struggled with it. Like, if you don't get the struggle.

[B]

I actually brought this here. Okay.

[A]

You brought your own creamer?

[B]

No, no, no. There were creamer over there.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

If you look at a creamer and think, this is 7,000 calories, you are just like me. It is. It's insane. And this is like 20 calories. But it's like, to me, no, this.

[A]

Is the fattest thing you could do.

[B]

The fattest thing you could do. Like, if I see someone put a creamer in their coffee, I'm like, we are not alike, right? You and I. Like, I get black coffee so that I can eat later tonight, right. And have as many calories as I want, which will be way more than the creamer I want.

[A]

Oh, I didn't know you had an eating disorder. I'm so glad to talk to you about this because I do too.

[B]

Right? I mean, like, we. We.

[A]

It's the. It's the. It's. It's partial, like Jewish, just childhood, but it's really also the generation. We grew up in like, like toxic diet culture because. How old are you?

[B]

I'm 40.

[A]

Okay, yeah, maybe not. We grew up myself a little bit.

[B]

I'm a young 40.

[A]

But, like, that was the vibe back then. And now, like, parents would Never, like, snack wells.

[B]

You remember olene?

[A]

I remember snack wells.

[B]

My favorite, right? Like olean, that oil that was like, supposedly, like I was eating olean chips as if it was going to make me lose weight.

[A]

100 calorie packs.

[B]

100 calorie packs. And it's like the story of my life. I've been trying to lose £10 my whole life. Like, and it's like. So when I hear.

[A]

Have you ever dabbled in the GLP1?

[B]

So a lot of my new act, this show that I'm doing, is about my parents trying to get me to do Ozempic. Like, they are like, they're pro. Oh, I'm pro zempic. Yeah. Like. Like, I. Like, I am like, honestly, I say in the show, I'm ozempic curious. Like, I do have a. Like, that is like. Like, that's something. I'm like, oh, my God. There's a cure for this, right?

[A]

Literally.

[B]

Right? And I, you know, my parents are. Parents are both on it, and so they sent me to. This isn't in my act, but I sent. They sent me to a doctor, like, because I was like, I need a doctor.

[A]

Right? You need a. Yeah.

[B]

So I go to the doctor and they've been saying, like, they're hinting at. They're like, she's going to set you up. She's going to set you up. She's going to get you all set. You won't be eating like this forever. And I kind of ignore it because it does annoy me, of course, because it's like. Like when you're told to have go on Ozempic by your parents, it's like, how disg. Do I look?

[A]

Right? No, like, am I that. Am I that awful?

[B]

So the doctor, I walk in and I could tell she was told by them because the whole time she's going, you don't look so bad. You're pretty healthy.

[A]

I'm dying. I'm dying.

[B]

She's like, she honestly reacted to me as if she was surprised I didn't.

[A]

Get airlifted right into Dr. Nazaradan. And Jay. Yeah.

[B]

And I was like, she's like, your blood pressure's pretty good. I can't believe it. And I went to them, I go, did you guys say something to the doctor? And they're like, no. Hipaa. Hipaa. They just keep repeating hipaa. I'm like, that's not like, how it works.

[A]

How.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So what is stopping you from taking the plunge? Because I've done it and it's amazing.

[B]

Everyone who does it? I was just talking with, you know Name Drop by Des Bishop at the Cellar.

[A]

Okay. Name drop.

[B]

I'm such a name drop. So Des is. Was telling me about how he's like, dude, you. What is your resistance? It's just like you're saying. And I'm like, by the way, you look great.

[A]

You don't need to go on it.

[B]

Well, this is the other thing. I don't. I know I don't need it, but I would feel like, listen, if I went from an XL T shirt and stretching it out to. I don't even wanna go to a medium. I wanna go to an XL T shirt. Putting it on and doing that and walking away.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[B]

Like, walk away. T shirt, body. That's all I want.

[A]

Right?

[B]

And I literally. It's mostly because my parents are telling me to do it now.

[A]

Now, now. You don't want to. Cause.

[B]

Right. I don't want them to be right. My dad literally looked at me and goes, it's not about if you're gonna take it, it's when you're gonna take it.

[A]

I'm kinda with your dad.

[B]

I am too.

[A]

So do you know Dr. Terry Dubrow?

[B]

I don't know Dr. Terry Dubrow.

[A]

You don't? You will when I explain. Heather Dubrow from the real ttd. Ttd. Heather Dubrow from the Real houses of Orange County. Her husband's like a huge plastic surgeon. He does the show botched.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And he's also like just mega doctor. He goes on every podcast and he went on Ben's podcast and Ben keeps quoting this one line that he said that micro dosing GLP ones, even if you're not overweight, is like the best thing you can do right now, like, on planet Earth, for longevity. Like, he encourages everyone to take it. So just do that information.

[B]

No, I'm a pusher, though.

[A]

I'm a pusher. I believe.

[B]

Listen. And some people think this is like a sad. I hate people are like, oh, fuck off.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like, fuck off. This is a real life thing. The food noise thing. Like, Bethany, like, her talking about food noise, how she coined it. I'll make fun of her to the day I die about that. I like Bethany, but, like, if you don't know, you don't know. You can't understand. You can't empathize.

[A]

That's why I asked her, because I feel like people who. And I always know when I can meet someone, whether they're fat or skinny. Like, I can just tell almost instantly if they've ever Struggled with their weight.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because it's just a different breed of human being. And I find it, like, if you don't get it, good for you.

[B]

Right? I'm jealous.

[A]

I'm jealous. But that's why I hate when people talk about Ozempic when it's not for them.

[B]

Right. No, listen, don't. I do that with stand up. When I go on stage, I'm gonna talk about my life. Why would I talk about something that has nothing to do with me? That is actually offensive to put yourself in, to have a hot take, to try and get people angry. That's not what I'm looking to do. If you. Last night. Last night, I got done. I yell at the Bachelor. I love yelling at the Bachelor. Yelling at the Golden.

[A]

The golden.

[B]

The Golden. I. Mel season was a total disaster.

[A]

I'm cracking up. We have the Golden Bachelor correspondent here. I never watched.

[B]

I was on the show.

[A]

What?

[B]

I was. They did.

[A]

You were on the Golden Bachelor?

[B]

I was. They did a roast episode, and I.

[A]

Led the roast where the girls contested. The guy roasted. The guy.

[B]

Yeah. Because basically.

[A]

Was it Jerry?

[B]

No, it was Mel.

[A]

Mel. Okay. Oh, Mel's a guy. Okay.

[B]

Mel's a guy. And Mel basically said some stupid stuff on a podcast. So they're like, we got to make fun of him. It brought me on to make fun of him, and it was a fun episode. Episode. But it was cool. And then I went to the reunion. It was literally a dream come true.

[A]

I actually did not realize. I'm so sorry. That we were in the presence of, like, a major star, a network star.

[B]

I know. I am a public Persona. Yeah. I. You know, I'm the second most famous guy in Del Rey during the off.

[A]

Season because Dave Portnoy is the first.

[B]

Is he a Del Rey guy?

[A]

I think so.

[B]

Oh, no, I'm the third.

[A]

Who's the. Who's the other?

[B]

The guy who's shirtless on the bike who goes around with his speaker on local celebrity status. Love that. So I. I go. So the goal. So last night, I go. I get done with my Bachelor stuff, and I'm like, I'm hungry. Of course. Of course. I go to a bar to get. I'm like, I'll get chips and salsa.

[A]

Just a light app.

[B]

Just a light app. It's midnight. I gotta go on the toast. I gotta put on my suitcase.

[A]

Gotta look slim.

[B]

I gotta look skinny. So then all the seats of the bar are full, so I go to a pizza place next door. I have two slices of pizza while I'm eating the pizza. I'm thinking about the chips that I'm gonna get at the bar next door. Wait, that's really crazy of you. I thought you were gonna. I thought you were gonna relate.

[A]

No, the crazy. No, the thinking about food is not at all. The. Going to the pizza place.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

While your chips and salsa was on its way.

[B]

No, I didn't. I didn't order. I left.

[A]

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

[B]

Got the pizza. And then I was like, should I get the chips?

[A]

Oh, I thought you placed the order and it was taking too long. So you got pizza in the meantime?

[B]

No, no, no. I'm like, okay, well, that's. That'd be. That'd be a lot.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[B]

I agree with you. Oh, yeah, of course.

[A]

Course. Like, major regret.

[B]

Totally. And like, when I get.

[A]

Even though pizza greater than chips and guac.

[B]

Absolutely. I. When I go for coffee, if you look at the baked goods and you're not sitting there the whole time getting coffee going, don't get the cookie. Don't get the cookie. We're different people.

[A]

Well, we are different people because I get the cookie. I don't even think about it.

[B]

Well, then I get the cookie, and then 10 minutes later I'm like, what the hell?

[A]

Why did I get the cookie?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can I ask you a total question? You also had a Netflix special.

[B]

I did.

[A]

Can you tell me how that, like, what sort of tangible results does that change one's life?

[B]

Like, here's what it changed for me. And it's off of Netflix now. Oh, it was a two year lease.

[A]

Oh, it's been two years.

[B]

It's been two years. And then I have a new special that's taped and I'm trying to sell them again. And, you know, I have to, if I'm to be honest, like, a lot of, like, it was a lot of valid validation to get it the first time. The first time. Like, I've been doing stand up now 15 years. I do stand up every single night of the week for 15 years. And when you tell people you're a comedian, you know this. You tell people what you do. I'm a comedian. Oh, really?

[A]

It could be one of two things. It could be very sad or it could be very not sad. So I guess leading with. Yeah, I'm a comedian. I have a special on Netflix that's like the pinnacle of success in comedy. It's literally like snl.

[B]

Well, it is like SNL in the now. There's no debate, you know, there's nobody that can. Like, I have people oh, you're a comedian, really? And I used to say when I was like, oh, they're like, where can I find your stuff?

[A]

Netflix.

[B]

You know, I go, Netflix. And then the game over. Yeah, done.

[A]

Love that.

[B]

Like, boom. I lost that when it goes off. And so I, you know, a little.

[A]

By the way, they're not going to follow up.

[B]

I know. I feel bad, but I have like, the special I have taped right now is like, for us.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, it is about my parents. It's about my dad asking me how much I weigh when we were at the beach.

[A]

What?

[B]

And it's like at the beach. And it was in Delray beach at the Seagate. And I go there with my family and it was a two minute story that turned into an hour. And I love it. I love telling it. It hurts me every day that it's not out yet. Like, it actually pains me. And you're holding.

[A]

Yeah, but you're holding on special. But you're holding on to sell to the best possible.

[B]

I want. No, it's not even money. I want the most people like us to feel a community. Because I feel a community when I hear people go, I loved it. That's my mom, that's my dad. I'm like, this is a beautiful thing. Like, it actually. And I'm not doing this. I don't do this for hokey reasons.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I do this for me to make money and make a living.

[A]

It's your living. Yeah.

[B]

Right. But I. It really does pain me. So if anyone out there is at.

[A]

A buyer, if you're there.

[B]

So we're in talks and whatever. But I. When you get the Netflix special, you go, of course. I felt like as confident as I've ever felt. And now I'm not a confident person.

[A]

It's such a. Like a legitimizer.

[B]

Right? That's. That's it.

[A]

Especially when you do Internet stuff too. I think some people like it. It's considered. It's just like low brow. People look down on it.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

And so to get the big green check mark, you paid a lot for that.

[B]

No.

[A]

Right. It's just like a credit thing.

[B]

It's. You get money, prestige. I get paid back. I put my own money into it. So, you know, I did the Tonight show. When I did the Tonight show to my parents and their friends, it was the Tonight Show. Ooh, look at him. But then you do. Netflix is a different, different tier. And it was like our group, our age group, you know, my age group and yours.

[A]

That's not. Yeah, because we're not in the same age group. Say that again and you'll be escalated.

[B]

You're right. You're right. I'm an old man. I came here with my cane.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then snl. Has that ever been, like, a goal of yours?

[B]

I think it's passed me by. You know, when you get out and start doing open mics, it. You start to hear, like, so and so got an audition. Like, they kind of pluck you, right?

[A]

And you never got plucked.

[B]

Never got plucked.

[A]

Was it like a big dream of yours or you.

[B]

There was never, like, on my dream, like, growing up, I didn't, like, look out the at the moon at night and push upon a. Please, please on Michael.

[A]

No, because for some comics, like, that's the end, all be all.

[B]

It's a total. I have friends on the show that I love, respect, think are amazing. If that had happened for me, that would have been amazing. I had to take a different road, you know? And again, like, when you talk about the Internet stuff like, the Internet, for me, when I was doing it, it was an act of survival, right? Like, okay, no one's booking me. No one cares about me. No one thinks I have an opinion. That's interesting. All right, let's do a podcast. Let's write. Let's make jokes. Let's do TikTok. Let's do Twitter. Let's do Instagra. Let's yell at the Bachelor. Like, the things I do are stupid. No, they're all survival.

[A]

That's why I said you remind me so much of my husband because you appeal to women, but you're not talking about women's stuff. You're just talking about yourself. But so much of what you talk about and Ben to. With the food and the weight, it just. It's like a women's issue.

[B]

I love that you say that. And it. Because I'm not also pandering.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

And Ben is an either. We are doing what we love doing, right? Like, I love a kibbutz. Like, I love sitting and doing a podcast. Like, I love the hash out, the breakdown, the. When someone says this text from a guy, what do you think?

[A]

Right? Let's sit and talk about it.

[B]

That's. I've loved that my whole life.

[A]

He loves a kiki.

[B]

I love a kiki. So I. So when this whole thing was like, so I do get a lot of boyfriends in the beginning. Boyfriends at the show. What's this guy? He must be lying to my girlfriend if he likes him. It's like, no, your girlfriend's fucking cool. Yeah, she gets it. You should start fucking being funny too.

[A]

And then do you feel as though you use your platform at all to get women? Are you single?

[B]

I'm single. I.

[A]

You know, how do you manage being a voice for women and then also a man who likes women?

[B]

It's tough. I imagine it's tough because not in the way that, like, what was me. Right. It's tough to even talk about because I sound like anytime I do something publicly, it seems like I'm trying to fuck.

[A]

Interesting, right?

[B]

If you say like, oh, I'm in Florida. Oh, you know, he's in Florida. He's trying to find the Florida women, you know, like, so it's hard. And also, I have a dating podcast, so. And I am tasked on the dating podcast to speak honestly from the male point perspective.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So to some women, it's enraging because some of them, especially our listeners, the listeners here are successful, doing great. And the one thing maybe in their life that's like kind of driving their ass, not working, is dating. And then I come on there and I think dating and most men, it's much more simple. Not a priority for them. They don't care. There's no, there's no clock. Right. So it's very frustrating. And there's a male, female thing going on online right now where like, there's a lot of anger between the two sexes.

[A]

Oh, you know what I would love to hear? Do you know who Scott Galloway is? Yeah, he's that NYU professor. He's always like, doing theses on like, culture and stuff. And he's writing. I think he's on a press tour right now for a book he wrote all about men. And like, society has really abandoned men. It's like, haha, funny, men suck. But this is an entire species of people who's like, being forgotten about. And when men don't have have like, love in their lives, they don't have nurturing life, they turn to like, violence, pornography, and misogyny. And then the women are like, well, why is it our problem? And it's like, well, it's not. But, you know, well, what do we do?

[B]

He also doesn't say it's the women's fault. It always gets kind of missed.

[A]

No, but what he says is like, when a man doesn't have a relationship with like, a woman who loves him, then he turns to all these things. So it's like, well, you're crazy. Like, why is that our problem?

[B]

And it isn't I get annoyed when I kind of, he kind of leaves that out, I think purposely to get like, like clickbaity.

[A]

Yeah. But it took.

[B]

Even though he says he doesn't need clicks, he's like the click guy.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

I have my issues with him, but I also like what he's doing.

[A]

Me too. And it's an interesting conversation about like man hating culture, which is like very much the culture we live in, straight men and how like men are the worst and it's like it's in movies and it's kind of embedded in culture and it's like haha funny. And what he's saying is like these are actual now like the real life implications.

[B]

Well, there's also incentives online to make fun of men because it's harmless, it's easy. Right. And it's punch up. You know, online if you punch up, you're good. Doesn't matter who you're punching up at, but just best punch up.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So I get the joke, but I'm also allowed to go eye roll, you know.

[A]

So you are a victim of it.

[B]

I am a victim of, of so much, so much hate speech on the like. Well, that's the thing. That's why I really enjoy doing the UO podcast, because I'm taking a subject and I'm trying to take the air out of it. That's why we don't get a lot of viral clips.

[A]

Right. It's more thoughtful than that.

[B]

Right. I, well, because I go, I would love to go online and be like.

[A]

Like I see but this, men suck. Yeah.

[B]

And I go, well listen, here's what the anxieties a guy's going through. Take it or leave it. Like ours going saying on the UF podcast is I'm going to tell you the weather and if. And I might be telling you it's raining out, so bring an umbrella.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like I'm not here to you tell, apologize. I guess I am if I'm just explaining what a guy could be going through. And I think a lot of times women are like, these men are stupid, but they're also master manipulators at the same time when they're dating.

[A]

When a lot of times it's not that deep.

[B]

It's not that deep at all. And I'm saying I always try to speak in the key of me. I try to speak, I, I, I. Because if I speak for myself and I speak honestly, you can't hurt anyone. I'm not looking to hurt anyone. My goal is to just tell you what I Feel so, like, we had a thing. We had a clip that was like. Jordana asked me, like, what? Would I date someone who drank a Red Bull in the morning?

[A]

And I'm like, that's kind of crazy.

[B]

Well, Right. Would you? I said, no, I'm with you. But I'm not saying there's no man on earth who could or would. Right. I'm saying I wouldn't. I would look like. When you see the icks. Like, I did a bit in my special about the ick, and it was about how I can't understand it because it's not very male.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, there isn't one thing that could make me not want to fuck a woman.

[A]

Right. Right. That's really funny. Yeah.

[B]

So I talk about it, and then I collected women's icks. I kept asking. And the comments section, when people get mean about the icks, and it's the Scott Galloway problem. Because when people talk about icks, to me, a fun ick from a male perspective, a fun ick is that one woman's ick could be another woman's husband.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I would say, like, I'd go to, like, Phoenix, and I'd be like, what are your icks? And they'd be like, sandals with jeans. And all the women would be like, ew, ew. Hey, man. Hey, man. You know, so then they. And then there'll be one woman next to a guy, and he'd be in sandals with jeans, and she'd be like, robert, but you're cool.

[A]

Yeah. Not you.

[B]

And it's like. And you go, that's fun. Cause we're just taking the air out of you. When someone says mean to waitstaff, it's like, that's not an ick. That's an asshole. No one would aspire.

[A]

Okay. And I also think we've lost the plot when it comes to, like, the definition of it.

[B]

Right, right. I'm giving it to you.

[A]

Yeah. People will say an ick for something that's, like, illegal. Someone will say an ick for something that's, like, a deal breaker. He cheated on me. That's an ick. No.

[B]

Well, that's where I believe young men, if they're online and they're reading that they feel attacked because they go, so you think that, you know. Again, I'm not saying this is what's being said, but it could be felt that way. That, like, when you get carried away with any ick you say is a. You know, you can say it because you're a woman who's punching up.

[A]

Cause you're punching up. Exactly.

[B]

Now we've lost the plot, as you say. Correct. So again, I don't know. This is why I'm a middle class comedian. I never speak in extremes.

[A]

No, I see both sides.

[B]

I see both sides.

[A]

I'm constantly seeing both sides.

[B]

Right. I don't want to fuck a dude who wears sandals with jeans either.

[A]

1000%.

[B]

So I don't know. It's. I don't know. I love doing standup, and that's like the whole point of standup, you know? It's like the house is on fire.

[A]

Making people talk.

[B]

Right. But the house is on fire. Here's why I think it's on fire.

[A]

Right. It's commentary. It's more. Especially these days, comedy is less like slapstick punchline than it is like storytelling and cultural commentary.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

And some of my favorite, like, standup in recent memory is like, commentating on the state of the world because it is so up. It's not even so much like, you know, knock, knock.

[B]

Oh, totally. I mean, like, for me, I do 15 minutes on how my parents offered me their OIC.

[A]

And the fact that you didn't take it is, like, so crazy. OIC is so expensive.

[B]

Well, I'm lazy, so that doesn't help. Like, I'm like, oh, I should do that. And then like, a year later, of course, do it. So I move like a sloth. Just ask my parents. Like, I mean, I just bought a place in Delray beach, and when we went and searched for apartments, my dad would just turn to the realtor and be like, he can't handle it. He can't even wipe his own ass. He can't even do anything for himself. And I'm like, can we just keep this in house? Like, can we keep all my inabilities?

[A]

That's hilarious. What do your parents make of, like, them being your muse?

[B]

They. They go. They think it's, like, crazy. Yeah, all of it. They like, I. They love bringing their friends to the show and their friends. I have to say, my parents, like, I talk a lot of shit. They are. When I told them I wanted to be a comedian, my mom didn't get it. My mom. Because moms want to know that they did a good job. So my son's a doctor. Done. Mom did well.

[A]

Right?

[B]

My son's a comedian that you've never heard of. I got a lot of explaining to do. Moms aren't good at explaining. My dad was like, oh, okay, you want to be one of the guys on 30 Rock, who's sitting around the table writing, right? And he saw it as, like, a business venture. He's like, you got no wife, no kids.

[A]

Go try it, right?

[B]

Make it happen. And since then, like, and then two years in, I remember I did a show. You've probably been. I was in Connecticut. I'm doing a show at a casino, and I'm bombing. I'm just not doing well. My mom was there, and in the middle of bombing, like, no one's laughing. My mom starts laughing at me because of how badly I'm doing Queen. And I look at the crowd, I go, that's my mom. And they all started laughing. And from then on, she has been, like, so on board. She will literally love hearing from Toast people. Like, she heard about me from here, was like, the. What show were you on? I'd been hearing about it everywhere.

[A]

Oh, I love that.

[B]

Oh, yeah. She goes around the country club, and people. People go, did you see what your son said about you today? And she's like, what did he say?

[A]

What's your mom's name?

[B]

Kim.

[A]

Shout out Kim.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Kim. Not a Kimberly.

[A]

Straight up, just Kim.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She wasn't born Kimberly.

[B]

No. Kim.

[A]

That's really crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I love.

[B]

So, yeah, she's a total character. My whole life.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I've been. And I'm sure you have these people where. My whole life, everyone told you. No, they go, you're Kim's son. Like, that's my whole life.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And. And it's. It's. I wear it as a. You know, a badge of. And then I also, like, when Pete again, it's like, food, noise. If you don't get that we're two different people, you don't get, my mom.

[A]

What is your. And then we do have to dive in, but last question.

[B]

I never shut the fuck up.

[A]

Bringing girls to meet your mom.

[B]

Tough. Yeah, tough. It is. It's brutal. Well, so being single and being a comedian who talks about dating stuff, it's hard because I have to be more upfront than I'd like to be. Like, I'm more honest on a podcast than I am, you know, than I can be. Like, I'm here, I'm single. I'm having the. What are we talk right now with you.

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

So, like, I. So it's hard. And it's hard for me because I was in a relationship. And then when that ended, I think. And you know, this. The social media. When do you mix your life with social media?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's not even that It's a lot of people that care. It's just that you have to hear it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I don't want to. I don't want to have to undo that. I don't want to have to unbutton.

[A]

That shirt again, especially if it's somebody who hasn't, like, agreed to this sort of life.

[B]

I just want to be excited and so excited that I can put aside all logistics, all logical thought, and people who know me for a long time, you know, they'll go, well, it's been a long time of you saying that. And it's like, I know, I know. I feel badly because people ask me. They're like, do you want to be in a relationship? It's like, do I look like a weirdo?

[A]

Right, Right.

[B]

Like, do I look like some, like, Vinnie Borelli? Whatever.

[A]

Vinny Bobarelli?

[B]

Good old Vinny Bopparelli.

[A]

Do you exclusively date Jewish girls?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Love that.

[B]

I just think that we would. It's more a mathematical equation.

[A]

What do you talk about with a non Jewish girl?

[B]

I don't want to have to explain summer camp. I don't want to explain high holidays and how I don't go, but I say I go and I get tickets for it. I don't want to have to explain again, that's any. I just think I'm, like, playing the odds, so to speak. And I do feel a familial connection with people who are Jewish. So I, I. So it's really playing that where I'm like, I, again, like the time wasting. I don't want to waste other people. I'm fine wasting my own time, of course.

[A]

But when it's dating a girl who you don't think you could take it all the way with is a waste of their time, and I respect that immensely.

[B]

Well, I've wasted a lot of women's time.

[A]

I'm sure you have. So let's dive into the fast five stories. Are you ready, Jared Freed?

[B]

I cannot wait.

[A]

Today's episode of the Toast is brought to you by Smart Mouth. If you're a coffee drinker, a garlic lover, or just someone who never wants to think twice about their breath.

[B]

Breath.

[A]

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[B]

Toast.

[A]

That'll get you $10 off your first month of membership. The offer applies to select plans and restrictions do apply and the offer ends December 31st. So check out weightwatchers.com if you want to get started, learn more or join today and you can use our promo code Toast T O A S T for $10 off your first month of membership. Today's episode is also brought to you by Kettle and Fire Bone Broth is a game changer. It's an easy upgrade to make to your wellness routine and here's why you'll be hooked. Sipping bone broth instead of skipping breakfast or grabbing a bar is getting you 19 grams of protein to start the day. Or if you're looking to like, you know, fix that 3pm Crash or slump. If you're feeling tired and snacky, heating up a mug instead of reaching for drunk will junk will keep you full until dinner. So cantaloupe and fire bone broth is very rich, it's savory and it's slow simmered. It tastes as good as it is for you. So everybody knows bone broth is like so nutrient dense and so good for you. But here are actually, you know, daily benefits. Benefits for your gut health and digestion, muscle recovery and energy immune function. You're going to get all of this without changing your whole routine. You're just adding this to your team. You're heating it up and you're sipping it. It could not be easier. It's made with 100 grass fed and finished beef bones. It's organic free range chicken bones. There are no additives, no preservatives, no weird stuff. Just clean real ingredients. With up to 19 grams of protein per serving, it'll keep you full between meals. It can help curb cravings. It's perfect for a mid morning snack, a post workout recovery or evening or even an evening wind down. You're going to see a difference in your gut, health and cravings, a daily dose of kettle and the easiest way to nourish your body for a limited time. You can get a free carton of Kettle and Fire Bone Broth by going to kettle and fire.com toast. Just buy any three cartons in store. They will pay you back for this one. It works on any flavor at any retailer. You can find Kettle and fire in over 22,000 stores nationwide including Costco, Walmart, Target, Publix, Whole Foods, Kroger and Sprouts. That's K E T T L E and fire.com toast okay, so the stories today I chose like are not like the usual fodder but I feel like you just have funnier takes on them.

[B]

A lot of pressure.

[A]

And the first one is some comedy news because Eddie Murphy, you know he has a documentary coming out. I've heard where he admit that he refused to go on SNL for decades because they made a joke about his movie flopping. So Eddie Murphy has opened up in his new documentary Being Eddie about his decision to stay away from SNL for decades. It all stemmed from a joke that David Spade made on SNL in 1995 about Eddie Murphy's struggling movie career. Murphy previously called the joke racist, but he says in the doc that his anger was was directed towards the show at large and not David Spade directly. SNL made Eddie Murphy a comedy star and he revitalized SNL's ratings when he was cast from 1980 to 1984. And then a decade into his post SNL blockbuster movie career, he experienced a box office flop with the Wes Craven directed horror movie Vampires in Brooklyn.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then David Spade joked about how the poor reception on snl, he said on Weekend Update, look, children, it's a. It's a falling star. Make a wish. You make a Hollywood minute omelette, you break some. That's like crazy. First of all, I love that Eddie Murphy's just admitting to holding a grudge. Like normalized holding grudges for decades.

[B]

Totally. I mean, stars are just like us, you know, it kind of like makes me happy and sad.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, like, it's like.

[A]

Cause you think when you get to.

[B]

That level, we're on the same page.

[A]

Yeah. Nothing can hurt me.

[B]

Right. Eddie Murphy. What am I trying to. What am I pursuing if Eddie Murphy feels insecure?

[A]

It's so true about like one joke on a show that jokes about everyone.

[B]

Right. And it's like when people, when we talk about commenters, we're talking about like 1% that don't like us. When it's really just. You have to have such a huge audience who likes you to have haters. Have haters. And we get obsessed with it. And I'm like, well, once I do this or do that, once I have a Netflix special, I'll never care again.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I care even more if you call me Heavy, I will be very upset.

[A]

You should title your next special Heavy.

[B]

Heavy. Yeah, I gotta do a bit about that.

[A]

Oh, do you not have a bit? No, I just about the word heavy and hug, like how deep rooted it is.

[B]

Oh my God. Heavy.

[A]

Do you know the song Heavy by Florence and the Machine?

[B]

I like Florence and the Machine.

[A]

It's a great song. And then when you walk off stage, you could play that song, I think Free idea. So heavy. It's so good.

[B]

I've always wanted to come out. I wanted to end my special with what's her name. It was called Workout. Like I. I'm feeling my fitness.

[A]

Oh, Kanye Workout song.

[B]

No, know. It was what's her name?

[A]

Oh, oh, let's get physical. Olivia Newton John.

[B]

No, I'm, I'm okay. I just flopped the episode. Yeah, it's okay. Kick me off the show forever. I'm sorry.

[A]

The funny thing about Eddie Murphy taking this so personally is like, there are two reactions to getting made fun of on snl. You can either lean in and being like, this is amazing. Actually, to Bethany's credit, they made fun of her on snl. She made a million videos about how much she loved it. While it wasn't, like, the most amazing, flattering depiction of her, it was, like, obviously exaggerated, she loved it. I think if you've ever, you know, been made fun of on snl, you either, like, say, like, this was mean, or this was amazing.

[B]

You've made. There's an element of. They're talking about, oh, big time. If you're in the essence, if you're recognizable enough for SNL to talk about you. And that's Bethany. To Bethany, she's, bottom line, Bethany. Yeah. That's why she makes tick tocks all the time. You know that, right? Making hundreds of thousands of dollars from the creator fund. Yeah, the creator fund. Like, and she's all about money.

[A]

Well, and also, like, I feel like when people get upset that they've been mocked on snl, the SNL cast members are like, well, this is the art and this is comedy. They're all very much so. For Eddie Murphy to dislike a joke when, like, he did that to other people, I find that really interesting because he was on SNL for four years.

[B]

Right. I, I, I just, it's, it's just a showing of humanity from someone who was the biggest celebrity of all time.

[A]

It's so true.

[B]

So it's like you go, wow, it's beyond none of us. We all are insecure. We're all in our heads. It. So that makes me feel good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm like, man, Jared, I can't believe that I'm gonna, like.

[A]

It doesn't get better, right?

[B]

It doesn't get better, right?

[A]

Who's, like, your. Who do you look up to?

[B]

Who's career comedy?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I have friends that I love that, like, everyone should go check out.

[A]

Like, like, sorry, people we've heard of.

[B]

So Kevin J. Oh, that's a great one.

[A]

Are you familiar with what's going on with Kevin James on TikTok?

[B]

I heard there's a guy that looks like him who's at school teacher.

[A]

So people think it's him. I'm not sure. What the windup was, whether it was actually him AI generated or somebody who just looks like him. It's this guy teaching people how to paint. I'm making a canvas, like, if you want to follow along. And he. It's literally Kevin James.

[B]

It's crazy.

[A]

And what was the wind up there? Is it him? Is it not? Is it AI?

[B]

I don't think he's doing that.

[A]

I think, I mean, wealthy to do that, right?

[B]

Kevin James. So he has a special called Sweat the Small Stuff that you can go watch on YouTube. It's probably been.

[A]

It's old.

[B]

It's old. It's from the 90s, but it has so many bits that, like, last. And I just love how physical he is. I love how he, like, is. He's like. Like a big guy who moves.

[A]

Like.

[B]

I always wanted to be a big guy who was light up my face. I love that, you know, like, I wanted to be like a. Like a. Like a real, like, agile twinkle toes. Yeah. I love when big guys can wear good clothing. Like. Like, I like a big guy outfit. I like a big guy look. I. I'm just like, Kevin James to me is like. People have said to me, they're like, it reminds me of Kevin James. And I'm always like, you got it.

[A]

When you said it, I immediately got it. That's a great one.

[B]

I really. His standup and he's not known for standup.

[A]

No. I didn't even know that he did a lot of.

[B]

The King and Chris of Queens is a awesome show.

[A]

You know, it totally has, like, passed me by not to age myself. I think I'm a little young for it. But I love Leah Remini. She's great queen. A Scientologist queen.

[B]

How about Stiller? Jerry Stiller's in it, too. Oh, wow.

[A]

You're also so Jerry Stiller.

[B]

I. So I did the Nantucket Comedy Festival, which is just basically, they fly you out to do shows for a bunch of rich people. Fine. And Jerry Stiller apparently had a house that was. That was like, right by where the boat's coming to Nantucket. And he would do laps in the ocean every morning. Wow. Can you imagine? You pull up in Nantucket. Fucking George's dad is like, hey, waving to you as you pull into Nantucket.

[A]

Well, to me, like, the Stillers are so not Nantucket. Nantucket is so.

[B]

I totally agree.

[A]

Nantucket is so not Jewish.

[B]

So not Jewish. So not that energy type of Jew. Yeah, it's like banker Jew. I think there's phylums of Jews Yes. There's like, banker, Jew.

[A]

He's like Long Island Jew.

[B]

He's Long island. Like.

[A]

Yeah. Not that I find that so interesting.

[B]

Yeah, no, I, I, I love that story. I was like, oh, my God. Really? They're like, you might see him. They talk.

[A]

That is shocking.

[B]

Like, he was an animal.

[A]

Right. Like a whale.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Okay, next up, we have news about my favorite people in the world, Alec and Hilaria Baldwin. They.

[B]

Hilaria.

[A]

Hilaria from Weston, Massachusetts. She says that we're the same age.

[B]

And from outside of Boston.

[A]

We are, like, the same age.

[B]

I'm. Yeah. Added.

[A]

So Hillary, Hillary. Hillary Baldwin says that she and her husband Alec are in therapy.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

To navigate their age gap. I also feel like of all the things those two have been through, you know, the accidental murder, the, the, the Spanish scandal, your age gap is really not that bad. And not your worst problem.

[B]

She, she is like an unbelievable Internet watch.

[A]

Like, she's something else.

[B]

Because you can't lie on the Internet. You know that? You can't.

[A]

You'll get caught immediately.

[B]

You will be found.

[A]

You can't hide.

[B]

And she has been like, people are like, wait a minute, you're not Spanish, right. You're from western Massachusetts. You're 41 years old.

[A]

Your name is.

[B]

I went to high school with you. We called you Hillary. And then she is just, like, unbothered. Unbothered. I think she's bothered, but, like, she just kept.

[A]

Yeah. And, and she didn't change anything too. She'll still be, like, almost.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like, she's, she's seriously one of the craziest people ever. And I actually feel at this point, we have no choice but to respect her.

[B]

I. There is a level of respect for someone who could ignore commenters who are viciously angry at you.

[A]

And you know what? Like, and who, who got you. Like, you were lying.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And she won't. She's like Rachel Dolezal. It's insane. Even Rachel Dolezal admitted that she wasn't black.

[B]

I don't even remember the Rachel story. Why I know of it, but I'm.

[A]

Saying, like, she was, Is, was a white woman who pretended to be, like, a mixed race woman. And she pretended so hard she became the president of the naacp, like, the most prestigious black organization.

[B]

That's actually like a movie.

[A]

And it's actually a verb. It's a verb. When you pretend to be something you're not, you do Rachel Dolezald.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Mm. I made that up.

[B]

I.

[A]

Listen, I'm literally Bethany.

[B]

You're Bethany Coin. The term I. Anna Roisman, who's a hilarious comic. She's so funny. She does an impression of Hilaria Baldwin.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then Elaria Aria saw it, and then they got together to do a video. And then.

[A]

That's nice when you can lean in.

[B]

Right. But she said she, like, kind of half leaned in.

[A]

Yeah. The thing is, with celebrities, I think they know now, like, when the Internet comes up with something about them, the best way to handle it is to lean in. But they have, like, such big egos that for a lot of that times they won't. And it just makes them look bad. Or they do it, you know, kicking and screaming, and you can tell it's not real.

[B]

You know, as a comedian. Yes. And that's the only answer.

[A]

Yes. And I love that.

[B]

Yes. And you got a yes.

[A]

And like, when Lea Michele. That's a conspiracy theory that she doesn't know how to read.

[B]

Right.

[A]

It went on for years without her addressing it. And it was clearly bothering her so much. So much of the people were like, well, now I actually feel like it's true.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And she recently leaned in and it really helped her overall Q score rating, but she waited far too long, too little too late.

[B]

To me, you gotta really own it and make fun of yourself. But, like, it's a hard thing to do.

[A]

Like, you know, easier said than done.

[B]

If you hit on something that really. I mean, Eddie Murphy.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[B]

Like, you know, Eddie Murphy wouldn't go on SNL because of one joke that honestly, like, I don't even. So unmemorable, so upsetting to him.

[A]

But, you know, this is also not a good joke.

[B]

As my dad would always say to me, I can't tell you how to feel.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And you can't tell someone how to feel. And when I, you know, get angry that I want to have a cookie and I feel like crap about it, and then I eat the cookie and then I feel like crap again, feel like crap again, and then I eat a second cookie, thinking, maybe that'll bring me back, you know, I just want.

[A]

To say I don't know you all that well. Just based on our conversation. That's our. You seem like an excellent candidate for oic. I'm just saying, like, just like the way you talk about food and your thought process, not physically. I appreciate to me, the benefits from oic. Obviously, I loved being skinny. It was the greatest time of my life. Was more so how my mind felt. That's what I said to Bethany yesterday. It's. I'm not Addicted to oic. I'm addicted to the feeling.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Of just being free. It's like. It's like that meme where your shackles are off. Like, it's just freeing.

[B]

If I honestly what you're saying, I understand it.

[A]

You would run out of material.

[B]

That's a problem too.

[A]

It'd be bad for your career.

[B]

I don't know if you're an X Men fan.

[A]

I'm definitely not.

[B]

I asked that, thinking. What are you asking X Men. There's a portion of X Men where it's like, we found the cure for your genetic mutation. And then this idea of like, do I lose myself?

[A]

Right.

[B]

Will I lose myself? And I do like myself. I know life.

[A]

I felt that way too, you know? Yeah.

[B]

So. And also, what was what I talk about?

[A]

I.

[B]

All I talk about is what I'm going to eat, how I'm going to eat, when I'm going to eat, how much I ate, how mad it made me, how I hugged a pillow to go to bed at night.

[A]

But listen, you need to have more confidence in yourself than that. Like, you are super talented.

[B]

I'm okay. Thank you. I.

[A]

You'll be fine. You'll be fine.

[B]

We are talented.

[A]

Of course we are.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

All right. Our sister here. This is a perfect segue. Amy Schumer has revealed why she deleted all of her pre weight loss photos on Instagram. So Amy Schumer has gone through a huge weight loss. She's been open that she did it on Manjaro and she says she did it for health reasons. She had a ton of health issues like endometriosis.

[B]

She doesn't need to say that.

[A]

No, of course not. You know, she did then also, you know, lose weight. That's just what happened. And then like, a bunch of her Instagram photos went missing and people just assumed it was like, all fat photos gone. Which relatable. I think we've all been there. Sure. So fans noticed that she wiped her entire Instagram except for one carousel of herself in a mini dress. Just most recently, she looked super slim.

[B]

Shh.

[A]

But she then posted on Instagram to. To dispute the reasoning. She said, I'm proud of how I've always looked. I've been working to be pain free. I finally am. My endometriosis is better. Back is healing. I no longer have Cushing syndrome, so my face went back to normal. I'm grateful to be strong and healthy, especially for my son. Your Instagram is not your identity. It's a curation of what you want. The world to see. And I feel strong, great and beautiful. It's been fun sharing that she insisted she didn't purposely go on a weight loss journey and that her main focus has always been her health. I'm sure my weight will always fluctuate. I'm a perimenopausal woman on HRT meds. Wishing you strength and self love on whatever path you're on, as long as it's kind and respectful to all people, no matter their weight, race, or religion. Peace.

[B]

She's not saying no matter your weight, race, religion, black, white. She doesn't do this.

[A]

No, she doesn't.

[B]

This is what I actually. This is the type of story that will gain me no fans.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. You know, because I hear this and the Internet hates humanity.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The human response. I was at the Comedy Cellar two nights ago. I'm waiting to go on stage.

[A]

Humble brag, humble bragging.

[B]

I pull up my phone and it's Amy Schumer, who I have had name drop. I'm Mr. Nick, please. Whenever I'm around Amy, no one is nicer to comedians. Like, she remembers my name. She has no reason to remember me. She has done things that I've heard about, like, for other comedians. Oh, that's really sweet that when you hear them, you go, whatever. You know, whatever you feel. I just disagree with respect, Like, I have an ultimate. I just think Amy, like, and she puts comedians in her movies.

[A]

Yeah, she does. She's a real deal. I love her.

[B]

Right? And she's a stand up, like, at her soul. So, like, that's to me, Jewish people and stand up comedians. I have the same love for.

[A]

Well, they are usually one or they, you know, they. The Venn diagram is just a circle, right?

[B]

So I, when I saw the picture on Instagram, you go, whoa.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's a human reaction.

[A]

Yeah. No, she's had a transformation, right?

[B]

And I saw the picture and I was like, what? I was like. And immediately went to her profile, and then I saw no other pictures. So this.

[A]

That's what she wanted you to say.

[B]

Right? And so to get feedback for Amy to be like, you know, I guess the media is making a big deal. No human beings saw your picture, went, whoa.

[A]

What did she used to look like?

[B]

What did she used to look like? When did this happen? This is. And she looks fantastic. I'm happy she's happy.

[A]

We've been documenting her Manjaro journey because.

[B]

We'Re just sure we're obsessed, you know, glp.

[A]

So I have known that she's been on the journey for a while because I think she shared. She turned. Shared this, like, turn video in her car, like, maybe a year ago. And the thing with Amy Schumer is she's been famous for a long time. She's fluctuated her weight in the public eye for a long time. And I don't think unless you have been at her level and had your body talked about as much as people have talked about her, especially in the comedy space, where men can be just.

[B]

Vicious and men can go on stage, look, and say what they want. Of course, as far as looks are concerned, female comedy, that is the hardest thing in the world. What you wear on stage is such a thing that I don't have to deal with. Like, if I wore this suit on stage, people are like, what's the deal? Yeah, half a second.

[A]

You're too dressed up, right?

[B]

What a woman goes through with everything she's wearing, it's in her head. It's in the audience.

[A]

Makeup, jewelry, hair.

[B]

Disgusting men in the audience who are thinking, because she talks about sex, she must be talking about me, right? It's right. Right? It's like a whole. It's a whole Frappuccino of garbage. And I noticed that it, like, when I've opened for female comics and when I've been, you know. You know, and seen all this, you see it and you go, that is something I feel lucky to not. And I'm not saying I'm not trying to be a fucking hero.

[A]

I'm just like, no, but you're grateful that you don't deal with it.

[B]

Totally. So when I see, like, people I under. What you're saying is totally right. Like, she's dealt with this for now, two decades, right?

[A]

It's gotta be. And also having a baby which just changes your body. She can do whatever the fuck she wants, in my opinion. Like, I don't give a fuck. And you know what? I lost a significant amount of weight. And I can tell you I wanted to delete every fat picture of myself from the Internet. I so relate to this. And even though she claims that's not why she deleted the photo, she's not clearing up why she did clear her Instagram. It's not like she has a new album coming out. That's the only time you can clear Instagram.

[B]

Well, that's the thing she. When she goes, that's why I laugh at her. Race, religion, creed. You're like, you don't have to do this. Real humans, not people who aren't online. And disgusting.

[A]

Don't care.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Of course you're gonna delete.

[A]

No. The race religion piece thing is giving like cast and crew.

[B]

Yeah. You have to do that. That's where I go. Eye roll. I would say it's funny. Like when you see a picture, when you. There is nothing more backstabbing than seeing a picture where you don't like it on a night where you got dressed, thinking you look good.

[A]

What was the point?

[B]

Right? And you're like, is my. Am I delusional? Is my whole life a lie? So when you have your Instagram feed, you want it to be a representation of what you see and what you currently are and how you feel. So. So her being like, I'm just gonna. But you're right. Like when you're a celebrity, it's like there's just different rules for you.

[A]

There are. And you think like thinking you can get away with stuff that you can't get away with.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And then to media. Right.

[B]

Don't do that. Right. No assholes are gonna say, yeah.

[A]

Today's episode of the Toast is brought to you by Squarespace. Thank you, Squarespace, for sponsoring our episode. Squarespace is the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place and all on your own terms. Squarespace is doing what everybody needs to be doing and that's using AI to actually help us. Because creating a website used to be this like, insanely expensive, torturous endeavor. Well, thanks to design intelligence from Squarespace, they have combined two decades of industry leading design expertise with cutting edge AI technology to unlock your strongest creative potential. Design intelligence empowers anyone to build a beautiful, more personalized website tailored to their unique needs. 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That's squarespace.com toast to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Our episode is also brought to you today by Reco Jewels. And let me tell you, I met the founder Emily Recco. She came to I think a mean greet or something. She gave me a ton of jewelry. It is the Hamsa necklaces. It's the necklaces I wear all the time. And I get so many questions about toaster founded branches this amazing jewelry brand super successful. I'm so glad that she's one of our sponsors today. It is the it girl jewelry brand. They offer a blend of style of substance. Every piece is designed with an actual heartbeat featuring a deeply personal story or an inspiration. So I get so many questions about these necklaces. My Jewish star, my hamsa I have just like cute little pendant. Everything I get from reo jewels I love. Highly recommend for the Jewish girlies. Her Jewish it's hard to find like pretty Jewish jewelry that's not like corny. I feel like sometimes people just like make Jewish jewelry because they like feel like they have to and it's like not. It's not pary. I love everything I get from Emily Reco. We are putting you on go shop all the new jewelry that Emily has designed for the new Reco jewels winter 2025 collection. And we have a code toast 20. I'm so glad you guys. 20% off the entire order at recojules.com r e c c o j E-W-E-L-S.com and the code is all capital T o a s t 20 for 20% l [e-mail]. welcome to the new it girl jewelry club. You are going to love your pieces especially my Jewish sisters. Highly recommend all the. You don't have to be Jewish to shop at record Joel. So I'm just saying I don't think it's like a Jewish brand. I'm just saying a lot of times it's like not. It's not the vibe like the Jewish star necklaces. So cute. Toast 20 is the [e-mail]. today's episode is also brought to you by Roback. It's time to Talk about Roback. It's always time to talk about Roback. They have launched something so exciting. You probably see all the girlies wearing this gray mock neck. It's from Roback. Each time they drop something, it gets better and better. And the newest addition is the Bedford mock neck. It's the perfect cozy while still feeling a bit put together kind of outfit. It's the kind of thing that you can throw on for coffee, for errands or drop off and you're still going to look like you have your life together. It's selling out super fast for good reason. It is so soft, it feels like pajamas, but it's still chic. I love mock neck. I feel like Maknik is very the moment right now. Very Princess Diana. This one is so cute. It's the perfect blend of like structured, of cozy, of loose. Loose. And it comes in two colors, the gray and also a navy that has a really cute embroidery. They also come in green, which is a great, like fall shade. It's an autumnal green. If cozy is your love language, Roback's entire Ready collection has you covered with buttery soft hoodies, joggers and crewnecks that take lounging to the next level. So if you're in your comfort core era, post baby work from home, you just can't do jeans. This is the move. Also check out the Vista Collection. They just dropped leggings perfect to pair with the model mock neck. And they're everything. I'm very specific when it comes to leggings. It's a perfect formula. A perfect blend of cozy, of compressive, of not restrictive. The Vista Collection leggings from Roback are perchy or as Jared said, porgy. Use code toast on roback.com for a generous 20 off your first order through the end of this week. That's Roback. R H O b a c k.com code toast for generous 20 off your first order through the end of this week. Our last two stories are not super pop culture. A little bit more human interest. I thought you might have a funny take. The penny. Are you familiar with the penny? The coin.

[B]

I've had a couple pennies has died. No more penny.

[A]

No more penny. They've been talking about a long time. They minted the final penny.

[B]

Well, that's gonna be worth more than a penny.

[A]

232 years. So it currently takes 33 cents.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To create a penny. So the treasury has been operating at a deficit when it comes to the penny for a while and I don't know what took them so long? The penny is gone. Fun.

[B]

What are. What are dads gonna talk about now? Because that's like a going dad fact where it's like, you know, the penny costs more to make than it.

[A]

Right, right. It is a great, fun fact. Actually. Jackie was the one who just told me that the other day. I'm like, well, that's so dumb.

[B]

Like, do you have to deal with, like, living down here or being down here? Is it, like, the conversations with people that you must have?

[A]

Oh, I don't talk to anybody. I don't leave my house in New York or Florida. Like, I don't go anywhere.

[B]

People. But people must approach.

[A]

Approach you, Ben. Like, I don't. I literally do not leave my house. I love my house.

[B]

Become like a shut in. Like a. Because you're a social. You seem like a social person.

[A]

It's actually something I'm kind of struggling with, like, post having a baby. It's like, once I had the baby, I was like, all right, let's get back. Like, I want to go out. And the first couple of times I left, I felt horrible. Just like, I don't like being away. And so now I'm very much like, a shut in. And Ben is the one responsible for, like, our social events. And so he pushes me a little bit, which I'm glad he does because I would never, never leave the house if he didn't. But sometimes I. I want to slap him. I'm like, we're not going. We're not.

[B]

We're not going to the Jonas Brothers concert, right? Well, he wants to do, like, event events. That's like, a lot.

[A]

Like, all day things. Like, we went to the Rider Cup.

[B]

That's a lot with the baby. No, no, no.

[A]

So it's, like, tough because if I'm not with the baby, I'm in hell, right? And if I'm with the baby, I'm in hell too. I might have sweating my ass off. The Rider Cup. It was a thousand degrees walking around, and it was still great. It was a part G event. They had, like, golf carts and everything. We had this indoor thank you to Celsius. Like, with the air conditioning, it was still horrible.

[B]

But you still have to, like, drive there.

[A]

Drive, feed. I'm literally breastfeeding my tits out.

[B]

Like, it was just not some, like, intermediate events. We're so all or nothing starter events. I know you need, like, a couple's dinner maybe.

[A]

Okay, so I'm always suggesting a couple's dinner. And recently I've been really into the idea of hosting dinner parties because that way I don't have to leave the house.

[B]

Well, listen, I've never seen that episode.

[A]

Did you ever see that episode of 30 Rock where Steve Martin has like a dinner party at his big house in Connecticut and it turns out he's on house arrest? Oh, really? That's literally me.

[B]

The show 30 Rock. I mean, like, it's brilliant. It's almost like a timestamp, but it's like so current eventsy that I forgot it was current events.

[A]

It's also the craziest show. I have rewatched it probably three or four times. Not only does it get better every time, it is timeless. That's kind of how I feel about Friends. Even though recently it's like not been so good.

[B]

It's a comfort show.

[A]

It is. 30 Rock is definitely. I just rewatched it over the summer. It's the best show on tv.

[B]

I, I listen, I've never met Ben.

[A]

What?

[B]

I, I would love to meet.

[A]

You have to go on the good guys.

[B]

I will be. I would love to go on.

[A]

You're such a good guy, like, guy.

[B]

I would love to be you. I'll be. Be your hangout in Del Rey. Your intermediary hangout. I'm just, I'm not just saying this. We should get together. We'll have.

[A]

I can't believe you've never met Ben. Do you cook? Do you eat? Like what kind of. I know you eat.

[B]

He likes tuna, which I don't like. That's the one food I don't eat.

[A]

Wait, that's insane.

[B]

I can't stand tuna fish.

[A]

I mean, same, but.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Oh, but I'm like a very picky eater. I have peanut butter and jelly every day. Like, I eat like a two year old.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. I, I can't believe you don't like tuna.

[B]

I. It's the one thing my whole life.

[A]

I won't tell Ben.

[B]

Don't tell Ben because we want to start on a.

[A]

Do you eat fish?

[B]

I eat everything.

[A]

You eat chicken salad.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

Okay, so you probably just haven't had good tuna. Let Ben make you feel.

[B]

I think I had bad tuna once and it affected me, the smell, the, and the consistency. But I watch his food stuff. His food stuff's great.

[A]

He's an amazing chef.

[B]

Well, he's friends with so Plug City, go give a Plug Plug. My buddy's bar in Charleston. He knows my buddy Keith.

[A]

Okay, Keith and I. Yes, Keith.

[B]

Keith and I went to camp together and a bunch of.

[A]

Is it the Bar that Craig also owns.

[B]

Yeah. Uptown Social, by the way.

[A]

Oh, Uptown Social. Yeah, Ben's.

[B]

I was talking about that. By the way. Uptown Social.

[A]

They own a bunch of bars in the city, too.

[B]

In this. Off the wagon, down the hatch. Thirteen step. So Keith and I. Thirteen step.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

We're like, best friends. But Uptown Social, like, has been like a home to me. When I go to Charleston, I'm going to be there in the new year. I'm doing a show there. But I know that Ben. So, like, our paths have paralleled other than the podcast world.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

So. And Keith is always like, I love Ben. Yeah, you should meet him.

[A]

I find that really shocking.

[B]

We'll meet.

[A]

I'm going to tell Ben. You guys should do a podcast over here.

[B]

I'm in. I'm in. I'm in. Okay, but I. Jared in.

[A]

Penny out. Now I gotta start collecting them, because, you know they're gonna go up in value.

[B]

Well, that's the thing. Are we gonna be like Beanie Baby moms now? We're gonna, like, start collecting pennies worth something.

[A]

One day, a couple of months ago, I got a quarter.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And it was like, a special quarter.

[B]

What was special about it?

[A]

I just could tell it had, like, specialness. And I googled it. I actually took a picture and said, chatgpt, like, the year. It was like a design on the back I had never seen. Maybe it was like a special edition.

[B]

Do you remember when they did the quarters for each state?

[A]

Of course. Did you have the map?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, did I have the map? Oh, my God. I never filled it out.

[B]

It was like the monopoly game at McDonald's.

[A]

It was like the Livestrong bracelet. Like, if you didn't have it, like, right.

[B]

What are you, a loser?

[A]

And I actually asked Chat gbt the quarter. They said it could go for anywhere from 25 to, like, 25,000.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

I don't remember what I ended up doing with it. Well, all that to say, hold on to your pennies, kids. Are you. The first and final story. And again, I would never choose this, but this is so you.

[B]

Okay. Okay. This is. Does that ever scare you? Yes, of course.

[A]

Because you're about to be offended.

[B]

And you're like, right? They're. Oh, my God. This is so you. I saw.

[A]

And it's like something disgusting.

[B]

Something out of the garbage. And you're like, that's me. Totally. I just saw someone eat food off of their stomach while they were sitting at the beach.

[A]

Okay, well, this is so. You ready? Adult film.

[B]

Yeah, it's coming on putting up all the masturbation stuff.

[A]

No, no. Adult film is accidentally screened in a passenger lounge of a ferry, leaving young passengers screaming. So this happened in England, which makes it even funnier.

[B]

Love it.

[A]

A ferry company has issued an apology after accidentally playing an adult film in its passenger lounge. Dfds, which is the name of the company, said the unfortunate incident occurred on October 26th while one of their transmatch ferries was heading from the French commune of D.P. to the town of New Haven in England. Passengers had been watching the Formula one Grand Prix on the onboard lounge. So you know, everybody was had their eyes on the tv, totally on the tube as they say during a delay on the crossing. But once it had finished, the crew were unaware that an adult film was the next item to be shown.

[B]

Shown that's can't be an accident.

[A]

The company said. During the delay, a group of passenger passengers asked if they could watch the F1 Grand Prix on the TV in the lounges. And unfortunately the crew were not aware that once the program finished, the next item was in a to be broadcasted was an adult film. Once they were alerted, yada yada, they swiftly change. Very sorry for the understandable upset and anger that was caused. Their crew has worked hard to resolve the situation.

[B]

This is like the next act of the French Louvre robbers. They're like, we're moving on to horrifying young children.

[A]

Right? Did you hear that the password to the Louv security system was Louv?

[B]

I heard that. And it's like relatable. I mean relatable. We're all just. When you were a child, you thought adults were like smart and being adults.

[A]

And then every now and then I have these sort of like existential moments where I'm like, I am the adult, right?

[B]

You having a kid has to do that to you.

[A]

Yeah, of course. It's like I'm in charge and the people I thought were in charge like were so wise, I guess like I am kind of wise.

[B]

But I mean you have a multi million dollar business.

[A]

It's true. I'm still the dumbest you'll ever meet. Like sometimes I do things, I'm like oh my God, oh my God, I'm so stupid. I'm sometimes actually kept up at night by like the dumb things I've done in the last couple of years.

[B]

But you coined the term Porgy apology.

[A]

I have. I like Porgy too.

[B]

Porgy. Pargie. What does Parji mean? Now you said before I didn't know, I'm sorry.

[A]

So no it's totally fine.

[B]

I didn't read my.

[A]

So you didn't read the one sheet. So. Gargie. Parji.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So we just say. We say things weird, you know? So we say, oh, that's gorgeous. That's gorgeous. That's gorge. Gorge, gorge. Then we're like, gorge, guard. Garge, garge, gargy, gargy, gargy. Par.

[B]

It's so. It's evolved.

[A]

It's evolved from gorgeous. So, like, sometimes somebody would be like, all right, I'm at you there. 10. I'm like, okay, par. Now it means, like, great. Okay, beautiful. Like, it can be extreme. Like a supermodel.

[B]

She's par.

[A]

But we're meeting at 11. Pargy.

[B]

Par.

[A]

Yeah, it's very casual, too. Give it a little hand.

[B]

I also love it off the lips. Pargie agreed.

[A]

Especially with the headphones.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Very asmr.

[B]

People don't know how great it is to wear headphones.

[A]

We were talking about that before, and it's so funny, because when Ben came on, he's like, I never wear the headphones. I'm like, really?

[B]

He's out of his mind.

[A]

He's had his mind. I'm like, can you just test my theory? I think that when you can hear yourself here, it makes it. I know we're sitting in front of lights and cameras and people, but, like, sometimes podcasting can just feel like a conversation, like, in a good way, but it doesn't always feel like a performance. And when you put the headphones on, it's like when you get on stage with a microphone, it's power.

[B]

Totally. And also, it makes me a better listener.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And I get. I fear.

[A]

You know, Even though I have to say, I've dazed out. When you were telling that pizza, chips, and guac story, I missed the, like, the middle. That's what. That's why you didn't understand me.

[B]

Well, that's my fault. I gotta work on the story.

[A]

He's my fault. I was just like, I'm really tired, and I just, like, zoned up for 10 seconds, and I missed the important part. I'm like, wait, did you get the chips and guac? Or you went next door while you were waiting.

[B]

Right now there's someone listening who's like, me, too. Which is, like, the beautiful part of a podcast. But I.

[A]

So true community.

[B]

I was afraid of coming in here. I'm like, okay. Like, you know, you and I have a very similar energy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I don't know.

[A]

It can be a lot.

[B]

It can be a lot. And I Don't want to come on here and like, I want to be on your show and I want to like make. Make this work the best episode ever.

[A]

I feel like it was.

[B]

I think it was. I. I want to give you one.

[A]

Last question because you. I do believe we have similar energy.

[B]

Before we have one more question, if you don't mind. No, I love the idea of British children being horrified by a porno on tv.

[A]

Oh, we didn't talk about it.

[B]

What is that? We didn't even talk about this. I didn't even talk about the story.

[A]

It's like, it's disgusting, but so funny.

[B]

So fighting.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

Being British is just the accent.

[A]

Agreed. It being British makes it funnier, right. Especially because they're so buttoned up and like obnox. So it's like, well, you watch porn, right? What's less buttoned up than that, right?

[B]

Just some woman eating some dude's asshole on.

[A]

Right. I wonder how adult it was, right? Was it just like, you know, Euro trip or like a film?

[B]

I think if you're.

[A]

Was it a film for adults or an adult film? They said adult film.

[B]

They said. I think it's got to be a.

[A]

Prank because hang you, right. How does a pornographic DVD even get on a ferry?

[B]

Right. Why are you bringing it and why is it getting accidentally fell into the DVD machine? Right? So it's like that is a probably 20 year old dude.

[A]

Yeah. Who thought it was hilarious and then.

[B]

Saw like, you know, with pranks like that, it's like you expect you like in your imagination, you're like, it goes amazing. It's gonna be one but is one person's gonna laugh and that's it. When it's 30,000 kids watch.

[A]

It was like a school field trip, right?

[B]

Like not funny. Oh no.

[A]

My final question for you was because like you said, we have very similar energies and I feel like as I've gotten older, I've gotten much more comfortable. Like my energy is not me for. For everyone. But when I was younger, especially like doing, you know, this for a living, you just want everyone to think you're like the best, funniest and like want you around all the time. But we are, you know, an acquired taste. How do you, especially with like Internet, how do you get past not being for everyone? I haven't gotten past. I'm just like looking for tangible events.

[B]

Well, you and I, I think are very. I. I feel you. I feel like we're so alike that like probably our insecurities are like when you. I just want people to think I'm funny.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

That's, like, all I want.

[A]

100.

[B]

So when, like, someone's like, I've seen your stuff on the Internet, I'm like.

[A]

But Clench say funny. Where is this going? Right?

[B]

And so I. I'll never get over it. I'm gonna be Eddie Murphy no matter what. I would also say when I'm not for someone, like, my thing is just all fun and games and stupidity.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, I'm never.

[A]

So you're not for fun. Like, if somebody's not for you, you're not for fun.

[B]

That's exactly. That's kind of how I think about that. That person must be so miserable.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

To not like me. I'm talking about farts.

[A]

Imagine that.

[B]

Well, also, like, I only speak for myself, so I must have hit a nerve. A nerve. And this has taken time. Like, you know, you've evolved as a comedian, as a personality. Like, things you did when you were younger, you would never do now. Some people can never forgive who you were before.

[A]

Please. Yeah.

[B]

I am an evolving person with differing personal growth thoughts and opinions. And I'm willing to be wrong when I was before. And I have to say, if you can't have fun with what I do, time to look in the mirror and say, hey, miserable fuck. Time to cheer up.

[A]

That's more about them than it is about you. And as our viral TikTok sound, to quote the great TikTok sound from the toast. Yes, we are a delight, an absolute delight. Two more caring, charitable individuals. And I know us, like, offline. The fact that we have so many haters genuinely blows my mind.

[B]

It's crazy. And it's like, also, I think this. What happens is we live in a direct to consumer.

[A]

Yeah, it's dtc.

[B]

So we love a dtc. That's why we can do what we do. But we also have to accept that people are not going to shop at our business.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And what happens online is because we're direct to consumer, and the consumer knows that they feel the need to yell on their way out of the store.

[A]

Right. Announcing their departure like it's an airport. We don't give a.

[B]

And we.

[A]

We really don't.

[B]

But I do.

[A]

No, no. Sorry. I mean, this is my whole. I do not give a.

[B]

All from the puss, right? Direct from the puss.

[A]

Yeah. You heard it here first.

[B]

DT df Go, go.

[A]

Jared, I can say confidently, I'm definitely gonna have you back on if I come back to Florida. You passed the test.

[B]

I made it on a Claudia episode yes, you did. Because my energy with Jackie, I feel like you have to.

[A]

You have to shape shift.

[B]

I know. I love. Because I'm like, okay, I'm Claudia. Yeah. And now Claudia.

[A]

Right, right, right.

[B]

So I'm like. And I have people say that to me.

[A]

That's why I think you were the perfect co host with Jackie. Because we. It was very similar energy of a regular episode. Sure.

[B]

And I was nervous about sort of like manic Claudia. Yes.

[A]

Regular stable Jackie.

[B]

So I pull. You know, I was like, let's pull back. Let's.

[A]

So this was. You pulled back.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah. Right.

[B]

I had a great time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I didn't shut the up.

[A]

No, you were great. Everyone, follow Jared on Instagram, your podcasts, U up podcast, and the J Train podcast. He's on tour. Tell everyone where they can buy tickets, please.

[B]

Thank you so much. This is the only. Look, all I want for people to do is come to the show.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

If you could do one thing.

[B]

If you could do one thing. I'm in this weekend. I'm in Durham. There's not a lot of tickets sold. Okay.

[A]

We love the honesty.

[B]

Performing for the Ushers. I'm in North Carolina. Charlotte. I'm in Charlotte. That's doing okay. Okay. Fort Lauderdale. I want to invite you to the show. I would love to have you. I already told Jess we're gonna get her to the show soon. Fort Lauderdale, Miami, Thanksgiving weekend. So it's like the perfect. Get away from your parents, get away from your family, or bring your family. Cause I talk shit about my parents. So it'll be like me talking to you.

[A]

Perfect therapy moment.

[B]

Right. And then I go to San Diego as well as Orlando. And then I'm in Philly, New York, Boston, Tampa, Tempe, Arizona. I'm all over this great country of ours. JaredFreet.com Just go to my Instagram. It's all there. And again, like, what you said, like, I love what you guys do here because it's like, it's all fun and games. We're talking about pop culture.

[A]

Fun. Life should be fun.

[B]

I love it. And we're. We're. I'm a Florida man. You're a Florida woman.

[A]

I'm not, but ish. Yeah, Right. I'm here.

[B]

You're here. So I. And I can't thank you enough. I love being a part of the.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

When that woman came to me at the airport, it was kind of beautiful.

[A]

Beautiful.

[B]

It. No, it really does, like, tickle my to.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Guys, thank you so much for listening to the Toast and L Morning Show. We deliver the fastest series of each and every Monday Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video thumbs up or Also available this podcast anywhere. Podcasts can be found at Spotify, Tune, Public Video, ir, Castbox, all the places wherever. Listen to Podcast Find us the Toasty five star review about how beautiful, stunning and wickedly talented we are. We will see you tomorrow. Who is it going to be? I don't know.

[B]

They gotta hire you for the. The.

[A]

For the Storage wars bidding or.

[B]

Oh, that. Or I was gonna say the end of the prescription drug commercial.

[A]

Love that too. Hire me Ozempe.

[B]

Yeah.