Restitution For Martha Stewart: Friday, November 1st, 2024

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Toast – "Restitution For Martha Stewart: Friday, November 1st, 2024"

Hosts: Jackie & Claudia Oshry
Podcast: The Toast by Dear Media
Episode Date: Friday, November 1st, 2024

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1. Halloween Reflections and Experiences

Personal Halloween Experiences: Jackie and Claudia begin the episode by sharing their individual Halloween experiences. Jackie recounts a disappointing Halloween where despite her elaborate costume, she received no trick-or-treaters, leading her to consume the candy she had prepared ("I did not get a singular trick or treater" [00:39]). In contrast, Claudia shares a positive experience, detailing how her household accommodates trick-or-treaters with a spritz bucket and emphasizes the respectful behavior of the children ("Everyone was super respectful" [01:15]).

Scheduling and Celebration: The hosts discuss the notion of consolidating Halloween festivities to a single day, preferably on a Friday, to reduce the extended duration they find unnecessary ("Halloween should fall out on Friday" [00:12]). Jackie expresses her longing for neighborhoods renowned for their Halloween block parties, highlighting areas like the West Village where celebrities attend, which amplifies her sense of missing out.

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2. Critique of Celebrity Halloween Costumes

Extravagant vs. Authentic Costumes: A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to critiquing the trend of celebrities sporting extravagant and often impractical Halloween costumes primarily for photo opportunities. Claudia criticizes celebrities like Kylie Jenner and Kim Kardashian for prioritizing elaborate photo shoots over genuine participation in Halloween festivities ("They do nothing else in that costume" [24:05]).

Notable Examples:

• Positive Instances: The duo praises more authentic celebrity costumes, such as Irina Shayk and Anne Hathaway attending Halloween events with their daughter in more relatable outfits ("Irina Shake and Anne Hathaway going together" [35:35]).
• Negative Instances: They highlight instances where costumes seemed more like costly photo ops, citing examples like Kim Kardashian's albino alligator costume, which they deem unnecessary and over-the-top ("That's not a costume" [25:17]).

Impact on Halloween Meaning: Jackie laments that the true spirit of Halloween—dressing up and enjoying the celebration—is being overshadowed by celebrities’ pursuit of attention through extravagant costumes ("We've lost the meaning of the word costume" [24:05]).

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3. In-Depth Discussion: Martha Stewart Documentary

Overview of Martha Stewart’s Rise: Jackie and Claudia delve deeply into a documentary about Martha Stewart, exploring her journey from humble beginnings to becoming a self-made female billionaire. They admire her resilience and business acumen, noting how she built a media empire from catering to cookbooks, magazines, and beyond ("She was crushing it, making a quarter of a million dollars a year" [51:00]).

Trial and Persecution: The hosts express strong condemnation of Martha Stewart’s trial, where she was convicted not for insider trading but for lying to the government. They criticize the legal system and figures like James Comey for targeting Stewart unfairly, suggesting that her high-profile status made her an easy target ("He wanted to make his bones off this" [58:17]).

Documentary Criticisms: Martha Stewart voices her dissatisfaction with the documentary’s portrayal of her, particularly criticizing the inclusion of scenes that depict her negatively and the use of classical music instead of rap, which she feels better represents her personality ("Those last scenes with me looking like a lonely old lady walking hunch over in the garden. Boy. I told him to get rid of those, and he refused" [62:37]).

Hosts’ Emotional Response: Both hosts convey a mix of admiration and frustration. They praise Stewart’s achievements and strength but are angered by how her trial was handled and the subsequent downfall of her company, which they believe was unjust ("I was so mad because everything everybody had said, right. Like, you can't take a company public that's based on one person because that person's reputation, that person could get hit by a car" [55:36]).

Quotes:

• Jackie on Martha’s resilience: “I feel like she really used her skills that she knew to start a business” [52:10].
• Claudia on the documentary’s impact: “I don't feel like I've had that guidance when” [65:00].

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4. Queenie and Weenie of the Week

Queenie of the Week: Claudia nominates Martha Stewart as the "Queenie of the Week," appreciating her enduring influence and strength despite past adversities. Jackie extends this honor to Chelsea Soffer for her contributions to making the podcast enjoyable and engaging ("She deserves it" [69:22]).

Weenie of the Week: Both hosts unanimously designate James Comey as the "Weenie of the Week," condemning his role in Martha Stewart’s downfall. They criticize his motives and actions, portraying him as inept and malicious in his pursuit to take down Stewart ("You are a piece of shit. And Martha Stewart is a queen" [70:36]).

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5. Sponsor Messages (Skipped)

As per user instructions, sponsorship and advertisement segments are omitted from this summary.

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Conclusion

In this episode of The Toast, Jackie and Claudia Oshry merge personal anecdotes with critical commentary on contemporary celebrity culture and a comprehensive review of Martha Stewart’s documentary. Their passionate discussion highlights themes of authenticity, the impact of media scrutiny on successful women, and the resilience required to rebuild one's legacy after public fallouts. The episode serves both as a reflection on maintaining personal traditions amidst societal pressures and a tribute to Martha Stewart's enduring influence and fortitude.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Claudia: "Everyone was super respectful" [01:15].
• Jackie: "I did not get a singular trick or treater" [00:39].
• Jackie: "She was crushing it, making a quarter of a million dollars a year" [51:00].
• Claudia: "Those last scenes with me looking like a lonely old lady walking hunch over in the garden. Boy. I told him to get rid of those, and he refused" [62:37].
• Jackie: "I was so mad because everything everybody had said, right. Like, you can't take a company public that's based on one person because that person's reputation, that person could get hit by a car" [55:36].
• Claudia: "You are a piece of shit. And Martha Stewart is a queen" [70:36].

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This summary encapsulates the core discussions and emotional undertones of the episode, providing listeners with a comprehensive overview of Jackie and Claudia’s perspectives on Halloween traditions, celebrity influence, and Martha Stewart’s personal and professional narrative.

Transcript

[A]

Good morning, millennials. Welcome back to the toast and Happy Friday. After such a successful toast to we and like, it's giving. We deserve this. We earned it.

[B]

But it's just so weird to have toast to eat like in the middle of the week and then to have another episode. I'm really feeling like for a number of reasons, Halloween should fall out on Friday. I know that it's like, about the date and not the day, but a Friday. Halloween is part on so many levels.

[A]

I mean, of course it's a holiday and like, why would we be doing anything else, like working or.

[B]

And we could just like enjoy Halloween vibes for three days and then call it a day as opposed to like this eight day weirdness.

[A]

Well, I had like kind of a terrible Halloween yesterday after toasting, which we'll get into, which was so fabulous. I did not get a singular, singular trick or treater.

[B]

That is really crazy. I had the opposite experience. I actually wasn't home. For the trick or treaters, we are the sort of house that just leaves a bowl by the door. Help yourselves in a spritz bucket.

[A]

Oh, of course. In a spritz bucket. Gotta teach the youth.

[B]

Gotta teach you. Maybe they'll say, what's this spritz do? A little, hopefully 21 plus.

[A]

Did you get any, like, kids stealing candy on, like, do you have like a camera or something?

[B]

I watched my camera footage. Everyone, like, was super respectful. Respectful. They took a respectful amount. But also like, yeah, no one like came in pillaged, which was nice.

[A]

But I mean, in this day and age when everybody has like a camera or a ring camera, to be a pillager, like, you have to be dumb as hell.

[B]

Yeah, it's really true. And I was like, you know, being mindful of that myself at other people's homes because we had a good mix of neighbors out and about, like, excited about Halloween. We had some buckets. We really pounded, we went, we went hard.

[A]

I mean, I got a lot of candy too. The candy that I bought for the kids that never came. So I just ate it all myself. Works. Yeah. I mean, candy's candy no matter where it comes from. But like, it's a fun part of adulthood to like open the door and see the kids with the smiles on their face. Nothing.

[B]

That is so crazy. That also means that one day, like, your building is not going to be trick or treating friendly, like for your family.

[A]

I know. Well, I now I saw like so many videos. There are a couple of blocks in the city that are like, famous for like having basically, like Halloween block parties, where the people on the block, like, pay themselves to, like, throw big parties. It's mostly streets that are, like, lined with brownstones and townhouses as opposed to, like, tall skyscraper buildings. And they decorate their porches and the stairs, and they put out to one. They put out speakers. Like, I saw. Apparently, like, it was celebrity filled in the West Village. Like, Andy Co and that crew. I saw Adriana, what's her name? Irina Shake, Bradley Cooper going together with Anne Hathaway. Like, everyone's out and about. West Village is famous for it. There's a couple of blocks on the Upper east side, and I was feeling so much fomo. Not that I would have gone, but, like, where are my kids?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, that's. That's a bummer. But the good thing about Toaster Ween is it, like, it gets you celebrating Halloween. Like, you had a busing Halloween, you dressed up, and you can kind of call a lid on Halloween, even if nothing else happens, a thousand percent.

[A]

And toasting was such a blast yesterday. Like, we just have to talk about how I love doing a costume that nobody guessed. Like, and because it's kind of a timeless. It's not a very topical costume. It's just a pop. An eternal pop culture reference. So nobody thought we were perhaps going to go into the archives. And I feel like now for Toastoweens of the future, like, no one really can guess because maybe we'll do something.

[B]

Well, that's what we did with High School Musical too. Like, it's always been an option that we could do famous sisters throughout history.

[A]

And I love that we kept the sibling. We almost didn't do siblings this year because we, like, couldn't really think. And I love that we kept doing siblings. It was funny. Ben was such a star. Yeah.

[B]

Ben really makes the episode. He is the cherry on top.

[A]

He was so funny. He loves to dress up as a girl, like, and he. Like, I was very thankful to him. And, like, you know, he cleared his whole morning for us. He was here making tiktoks, like, helping move cameras around. Like, great, great, great. And so, of course you want to be grateful to that person. But, like, I just know he loved every minute of it. That, like, I really don't even feel like I have to say thank you.

[B]

Yeah, you scratch my back, I scratch yours.

[A]

Like, I helped him flex that muscle. Where once a year he dresses like a woman.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he helps me with the content.

[B]

It's a beautiful win, win situation.

[A]

It is a beautiful win, win situation. Now, I know that you Watched the Martha documentary last night. Did you finish it?

[B]

I did, and we have a story about it. So I think I'll make it the fifth story so that we could go into a recap because I know it just came out also. So maybe you haven't watched it yet without going into our recap right now. Accidentally. I'll just say you should watch it.

[A]

I'll just say it was the best piece of content I've seen in my life. I literally would lay my life out on the line for Martha Stewart and the entire nation, namely one James Comey. Owe Martha Stewart an apology. We all do.

[B]

And not me, because I wasn't even into our recap. Now we'll leave it at that.

[A]

Yeah, and fuck Jim Comey. And, you know, I had heard that name before. He's kind of like in the political landscape, right?

[B]

Yeah, he's the director of the FBI, so a little bit in the landscape.

[A]

And I feel like he was, like, fired or something.

[B]

And he like his own movie about him. Do you remember that? I think it's called Comey.

[A]

No. Now all I really know about him is what he did to Martha Stewart. And let me just say, he's on my list. I hate.

[B]

Yeah, call me. Movie up. It's not coming up. It's. Oh, the Comey rule. Yeah, he was played by Jeff. This guy from Dumb and Dumber. No, he looks like Jeff Daniels. Jeff Daniels.

[A]

Well, like, seriously, nobody cares about you. That's why nobody knew about your movie. And what you did to Martha Stewart is a disgrace, and I literally hate you.

[B]

But we won't get into our recap now.

[A]

But we won't get into our recap now. We have a fabulous show. We've got stories. We've got Queenie and Weenie.

[B]

Let's.

[A]

What do we not have? We do not have deer toasters. And I know there's a strong but mighty community, a small but mighty community of dear toaster stands. Like, it kind of the week just kind of got away from us. Like, yeah, we could shove it in today, but then we, like Rush, Queenie and Weenie and the Martha recap. Like, we kind of missed it.

[B]

Like, we did miss it. We, like, we've been kicking the ball down the field the whole week. We couldn't do it Wednesday because the Kurds wouldn't have been able to withstand Thursday. Of course, like, it just was toast to wean. And now it's Friday and it didn't happen. So better luck next week. Yeah, maybe we'll see where we're at maybe, like, Dear Toasters, just for next week. Like, if Monday or Tuesday. And I could see Tuesday being a dry day because it's election day and no one's stepping out of line except for Erica Girardi to file for divorce.

[A]

No, I will be behaving on Tuesday. Like, I value my life.

[B]

And I could see, like, the news being quiet because the big news is taking place. So, like, maybe we slip in a DT on a quiet election day.

[A]

Yeah. And I think we'll all be looking for distractions anyways, so that would be a good option. So I wanted to acknowledge and apologize.

[B]

To the DT community, which is includes ourselves. We're hurting ourselves.

[A]

I love by the. We had such good submissions this week. Not to be, like, annoying.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

We kind of disrupted the order of things, and we need to not do that.

[B]

Speaking of election day, I think I'm going to try and vote today because.

[A]

You don't want to vote on your birthday, like, standing in a line.

[B]

No, my birthday is the next day. But thank you for being super excited. No, I don't want to vote on election day because now election day, it's, like, lines galore when you could vote early. And I've been trying to find time to vote all week, but I haven't had a moment, and now it's, like, getting away from me. So I think today is the day. So I don't have a plan. And I think that's, like, my first mistake. Of course.

[A]

And that's what the influencers have been saying.

[B]

I barely even knew where my vote. I thought my voting place was one place. You know, I've been talking about this big government building.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But apparently it's the library. So, like, this is nice. I'm without a plan, and I feel.

[A]

Like you're always at your local lives. I love the library.

[B]

I do.

[A]

You should, like, take a. I think.

[B]

I might break my tripod and, like, make just, like, separate, like, content for the redheads. You know, by the way, they take.

[A]

It really seriously in polling places. Any sort of, like, filming or videoing?

[B]

No, no. Separate from. I wouldn't be filming myself voting. Like, no. I'd be, like, going into the stacks and making content for the redheads. Okay.

[A]

I'm just saying, like, be careful wheeling that thing in and around your polling place. I feel like that is a felony.

[B]

It's not a felony, because then also you have to be able to record in government buildings. Remember? We learned that at the library this summer about the librarian who wasn't letting someone Record.

[A]

Cannot record at a polling place. Like, it. I. I whipped my phone out, and maybe I was trying to take a picture of Ben because he was being so slow. I literally got yelled at. You cannot even whip out your phone in a polling place. It's like a casino.

[B]

Are you sure? I don't. You see, like, videos of people, like, acting out, filming undercover.

[A]

Filming undercover.

[B]

Filming undercover. Okay.

[A]

Like, seriously, keep that tripod in your trunk.

[B]

I just want to let you know I have no interest in filming at my polling place.

[A]

Like, it sounds like you are really interested. Actually, no, I'm not.

[B]

It's a really big building. I'll be in a separate wing. Okay, you.

[A]

Sounds like you're literally dying to film.

[B]

Yeah, because that's the sort of content everybody wants, is more election content from influencers.

[A]

Let's take a look at the week at a glance. You know, it's Friday. Let's just sort of, like, unwind. What would you say was, like, the best part of your week? Besides toasting, obviously.

[B]

Is there, like, something that you want me to say?

[A]

No, I'm just trying to have a talk with my sister on our podcast.

[B]

I know, but, like, it's just, like, kind of random.

[A]

Why? I'm just sort of taking a conclusive approach to this episode.

[B]

I would have to, like, go through my camera roll and think back on the week. I don't have a grasp of the week in my mind at the moment.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

I have something really exciting going on, like, in my personal life. Do you mean personal? Yeah, but you guys will find out later today. I haven't even told you. I've been so coy.

[A]

What the hell is going on?

[B]

Should I tell you? I just.

[A]

Yeah, tell all of us.

[B]

I'll tell all of you. Because I'm finally. Today, like, the work is being done. I'm wallpapering my bathroom.

[A]

Oh, my God, you are so dramatic.

[B]

I can't.

[A]

Also, Margo and Olivia on their Instagram stories yesterday being, like, huge thing happening to us tomorrow. And I think there's a lot of.

[B]

Just roll with it. Like, huge thing happening tomorrow.

[A]

People think there's, like, a big family announcement coming today, and there isn't.

[B]

There is. No. But I didn't want to, like, say my bathrooms being done, like, earlier in the week, because then you have to wait, like, a few days to see it. I just wanted to do it all at once so that, like, it was instant gratification.

[A]

That's nice, actually. You know, I actually also didn't even talk about this on the podcast. Like, a big special project that I was working on. I don't know if you saw, because it was in Women's Wear Daily.

[B]

I did see.

[A]

Yeah. I became a brand ambassador for this new, like, pet wellness brand that I actually was familiar with and, like, joined the. I don't want to say the board, but there isn't on board. But if there was a board, I would have a seat on it. Very Martha Stewart of me. And we had, like, a launch party. What day of the week was that? It's been the longest week. I want to say Wednesday.

[B]

That's like two days ago.

[A]

My God, this party feels like six months ago. It's called Wagwell. It's like pet wellness, you know, I feel like. And I. I'm kind of taking, like, a Jackie O. Approach to parenthood when it comes to Romeo with the little, you know, a little what? A little laissez, like, whatever. I didn't, like, read a singular label, like, ingredients. I don't know. You know, I was very, like, trusting. Trusting and looked and blind and maybe willfully ignorant, I would say.

[B]

I would say and.

[A]

And look where that got me. And with Romeo, I'm, like, actually much more particular now about, like, everything. Kind of like, you. Like how you swapped out all your cleaning products and you got pregnant, like, literally me. Romeo's treats, like, now from Wagwell, they're all, like, grain free. He's on supplements for, like, allergies, like, and joint. I feel like I've gotten a second chance at life and, like, I'm taking it really seriously, like, dead ass.

[B]

I'm so glad to hear that. And I'm glad that you're finding, like, wellness hacks for your pup so that you don't have to lean on bp, you know?

[A]

And that's the thing. I feel like with Theo, I definitely, like, succumbed second came.

[B]

To big pet.

[A]

Like, I just would go to the pet store and buy.

[B]

Not even look me up.

[A]

I'm like, who would make something poor quality for dogs? Actually, quite a few people. So it's true you'll be hearing about, like, probably seeing billboards of me for this new brand Wag. Well, don't be alarmed. Like, me and Romeo just being celebrity endorsers.

[B]

I love that I actually now I have a grasp of my week and I can answer your question from before.

[A]

Isn't it a nice question?

[B]

It is a nice question. But, like, I didn't have a grasp of my week. I don't know, like, how else to say it.

[A]

She didn't have A grasp of her week.

[B]

Two highlights of my week, thank you for asking. First, driving the cyber truck and vlogging and the whole experience with my husband. We had a great day, a great afternoon at Tesla and we got to drive this out. We just had fun. And then it's also on the vlog. And the vlog was really like, creating the vlog was really fun. And that was.

[A]

It's so well received, the vlog.

[B]

It was like just a fun, creative project. And you guys know I love vlogging. I'm like Molly Mae with my bird watching camera, of course.

[A]

And then like, you know, ever since the great, like Chili vlog of like 2022, every time we put out a vlog, we're always like a little.

[B]

I'm a little.

[A]

Are they going to hate this?

[B]

Yeah, I do get nervous, but with this one, I actually, like, wasn't. I was like, even if I got. Even if people said that they didn't like it, like, it wouldn't bother me because, like, I'm so, like, I know that it was great. Like I was smiling, watching and I was having fun. Then the second great thing that I didn't even tell everyone, but I did tell everyone that I was going to the dentist. Right?

[A]

Because Bruno actually meant to ask you how that went.

[B]

Right. So I had a toothache when Bruno got 14 teeth extracted. And I was like, well, I can't go now because there's no budget. But it was really hurting. I was like getting a little worried. And I don't know if you guys know this about me, but I have like, not the greatest teeth. Like, they're kind of weak. I've had a root canal. I have like so many crowns. A root canal. I've had a root canal. I've had a root canal, which I barely remembered until I went to the dentist. And I was like, I think I've had a root canal. He's like, yeah, that's. That's a root canal. On the X ray. I've had million crowns, a million cavities. So, like when my tooth hurts, like, it means there's trouble. A bruin and it's not good. So I went and for the first time, it was he dentist words. This is quote, not a four alarm fire. I just have two crowns on two teeth next to each other that are not perfectly aligned. No big deal.

[A]

Oh, so they're like rubbing up against each other.

[B]

It just means stuff gets stuck back there. And then it just like irritates my gums. And so, like, I just need to. I do floss back there a lot, but just do more of it. And eventually, if I want to perfect it, he could give me a crown that would be perfectly next to it. It would make the problem go away, but not something I have to do right now. So I'm just going to think about it. But that was a major relief.

[A]

It's so rare to go to any sort of doctor, dentist, any sort of medical professional and be told that, like, your concern is, like, not real and there's, like, not much you have to do.

[B]

I feel like typically, like, you want the validation of, like, a. Even he was, like, making me do these jaw exercises to, like, open and shut my jaw. And he was like, oh, you turn. You go to the right a little bit on this. Like, tmj. And I'm like, are you saying I have tmj? Like, that's so exciting. It's so exciting to get a diagnosis sometimes, but in that situation, like your codenia, I mean.

[A]

And I've actually been wanting to talk about this pillow. So let me. Let me.

[B]

I'm just saying in that situation, it was, like, the best possible news that I don't have to get, like, another root canal or I wasn't sat there for emergency dental surgery. Like, it's just a small thing and, like, you'll be okay.

[A]

Huge win in someone's week.

[B]

It was a huge win. It was really, like, worrying me.

[A]

Now, I have recently, like, been watching our episodes, and might I say, they're just amazing. I love them. I can't recommend them enough, but jolly good, because it's, like, officially fall. I've entered my sweaters and leggings season. Like, that's what my uniform is. And because my coccydinia pillow is black and my pants are usually black in a lot of our clips. Like, I look like I have the fattest fucking ass. That's like. That's also, like, jiggly and flat. Like, it lays flat. And I just feel like every single day I need to put a disclaimer on the show. Like, if you are watching this on YouTube, like, I am sitting on a black pillow. That's what you're seeing. My ass is actually so firm and tiny. Like, you don't even see it.

[B]

You know what's so funny? Someone commented asking if I got a BBL because, like, these are the pillows that you sit on when you get a pbl. Also, by the way, easy hack for you. Get a different color pillow like mine. I know.

[A]

So that's so ugly.

[B]

I Would love to find. Maybe we could find a white pillow. Maybe we could have them, like, custom dyed.

[A]

I would love if we could get, like, a matching bouquet. Jackie, what if we got boucle tushy pillows?

[B]

I think that's, like, what we should get invested. Yeah.

[A]

Like, listen, let's loosen the purse strings. Let's get custom tushy pillows.

[B]

Why don't you knit us pillow covers?

[A]

You know, like, I.

[B]

Inspired by Martha.

[A]

I can really only knit, like, in a straight line, like a scarf.

[B]

We'll ask Craig less sewing down south. Like, can. I remember when I asked Craig if they do like custom pillows and he said because I have a bench that needs pillowing. And he said, like, no, but we could, like, work.

[A]

Perhaps they know the people.

[B]

Yeah, maybe we get custom pillow covers.

[A]

That's actually a good, good call. We need sewing down. So let's send them the dimensions of these pillows. We need boucle covers. I think they can do that actually, so easily.

[B]

We do. That's so fit. And also, let's. Why do we have to be confined to these dimensions? Why don't we have just a cushion?

[A]

The whole chair? Yeah. And it only makes sense, like, we are actually a studio that is styled and designed by sewing down south. My pillow, all of our, like, throw pillows are sewing down south.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's hilarious.

[B]

Hilarious. I think we should invest in this. Like, this is our business. We got big business. Bless you. Businesses boom in, like, you know, if you were an athlete, of course you're going to get, like, the greatest physical trainer.

[A]

No. And let me tell you, my coccydinia is getting worse. After toastaween yesterday, every time I get up off the show, like, I move a little slowly, and sometimes if I'm not sitting on the pillow 100 correctly, it's like I might as well not be sitting on it. And I felt a pain so deep in my anus, like, I. I had never felt anything. Like, I know my Cody is actively getting worse and I need to be more proactive about, like, protecting my tush.

[B]

Yeah, you do. And as always, I stand with you.

[A]

And as always, I don't feel like you've really been there for me during my coxidinia journey.

[B]

What do you mean? I'm about to get us bespoke pillows.

[A]

Maybe after the bespoke pillows, I'll feel differently. I don't know. I just don't feel like you've really been there for me.

[B]

I feel like I've been there for you as much as you've let me Be there for you, but you know yourself. Like, you push people away.

[A]

That's what someone would say who hasn't been there for someone, you know, only.

[B]

Someone'S super stacking craft.

[A]

Textbook. It's textbook.

[B]

Textbook what?

[A]

Your response. Textbook denial.

[B]

Oh, okay. Well, you know, I think it's textbook craftiness, and I think we can respect that.

[A]

I think we can respect the run of show and the run of show. I think it's kind of demanding that we dive into the fast five. You know, we don't have all day. We actually do.

[B]

We know I have to vote. I've got to get out the vote. I've got to make a plan.

[A]

What snack you gonna bring? I brought Ritz crackers. Like, I actually did.

[B]

Maybe a piece of sourdough.

[A]

Honestly, that's a good one. Wrap it in some tinfoil, toasted up with butter.

[B]

Yummo. Because I already ate my bar for the day, so yummo. I can't bring a bar. Why is there feels like there's a law in this world that you can't eat more than one bar in a day.

[A]

It's actually such a good call.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I think because, like, you can't. You can't. And, like, you shouldn't really. Because they're meant to be like meal replacements. Right. And you shouldn't be having three bars.

[B]

For your three meals a day, like hiking.

[A]

Yeah. I will say, like, when I first got off Ozempic and I was like, so panicked about, like, gaining weight and everybody was like, protein, protein. I was having, like three protein shakes and two bars a day. Like, it was really nutty. That's not good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I've been on the other side.

[B]

I'm a bar a day. I do not go above that.

[A]

And I really feel like bars are like, for the morning.

[B]

I think so too.

[A]

Yeah. Well, I think without further ado now.

[B]

Without further ado to do, Here are the Fast 5 stories that you need to know.

[A]

And the Fast 5 stories that you need to know are supported by State Farm. So we know the toasters agree. Nothing feels better than a personal win. Like when you get your final piece of furniture delivered to your apartment, your home really feels complete. Perhaps you hit a personal best in a workout. Perhaps you're training for a 5K, whatever it is. You know, maybe you're a toaster who managed to stop for a much needed iced coffee but still made it to work on time. Or perhaps you found a new pair of jeans that fit you perfectly. Or an old pair that you finally can squeeze into whatever it is that you define as a win. It definitely calls for a celebration. And who's cheering right beside you? State Farm. Because with the State Farm personal price plan, you can create an affordable price just for you when you bundle, home and auto. So celebrate by breaking out the confetti and those happy dance moves. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. However you choose to interact with your State Farm agent, like they will accommodate, like perhaps you're like really tech advanced, you want to be on the app, on the website, maybe you're a little bit slower, you can talk to them on the phone, maybe in person. Okay grandma, whatever it is, they can accommodate and make you comfortable and really find the best situation for you when it comes to insurance. So talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. Jacks, would you sing us out?

[B]

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

[A]

Today's episode is also brought to you by a new sponsor, but it's not new in our lives. Actually I use this company a lot when I was getting married, so I'm sure you guys are familiar with Minted. Whether you're decorating your home, throwing a party or sending love through the mail, Minted offers unique design, forward stationery, art and home decor that are designed by independent artists from around the world. So when it comes to holiday cards, Minted is for the swirlies and the only place we'd go to to for our new favorite holiday traditions. Minted has unmatched paper quality and customization options that allow you to level up your holiday cards and make a statement. You can also add luxurious hand pressed foil accents. Make an impression with Minted's letterpress designs. They make things easier with free recipient addressing. So printing all your loved ones addresses on envelopes for free. I feel like part of adulthood is like you get married and that's your first introduction to Minted. Like for me I had remember I had all my menus printed and then we had like beer Katamazone like the blessing you to say printed on the back. They really did it like really stunning. And that's your first introduction to Minted. And then you start like making a home and taking holiday cards and setting out thank you cards and like needing stations stationary and then minted becomes like a core part of your adult life and they just do it so well. First of all, like, the website is so user friendly. I feel like you can get all these customizations and it's not like confusing at all. It's so high quality. All their products are super unique. You're not gonna have like cookie cutter holiday cards that look like everybody else's. Like, they really will look and stand out on their own. So bring your traditions to life with independent art and design this holiday season. And we have a code. It's toast. You're gonna get 20 off minted holiday cards and gifts only when you use code toast to a S T Admin Today's episode is also brought to you by Saks.com the premier digital platform for luxury fashion. Actually, I spent all day on Saks.com yesterday looking for a gift for one swirly O& you did say you were like send me some ideas like of things that you had wanted for your birthday. You didn't?

[B]

No, I didn't yet. I didn't yet.

[A]

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[B]

Thank you. Turt.com youm're welcome. Our first.

[A]

Welcome.

[B]

Our first story, which is always going to be the lead story on November 1st. I don't make the rules.

[A]

Mariah Carey is awake.

[B]

No celebrity Halloween costumes.

[A]

So underwhelmed. And I just want to say, I think as a society, we have lost the meaning of the word costume.

[B]

We've lost the meaning of Halloween.

[A]

No, no, we've. You. A costume is something you get dressed into and go somewhere to a party. You go trick or treating celebrities and influencers, like, having these obscenely extravagant costumes put together for a photo shoot. And, like, they do nothing else in that costume, right? They probably took it weeks ago. That does not count.

[B]

No, it does not count. Like, seriously, who is that for? Like, we don't care. You're wasting your time, your money and your resources. Like, we need to stop. We need to abolish it.

[A]

Perfect example is, like, Kylie, right? She had so many costumes. First of all, maybe four. Three of them were silly photo shoots. Like, stop Barbarella. Some Demi Moore movie.

[B]

Please. Like, she, like, recreated the poster. You didn't leave. And by the way, she's naked. That's not a costume. That's not a costume.

[A]

And then last night, she got into a real costume, and her and Kendall went to a party. Like, that is Halloween. That's a costume. The other two was like, you just spending money for fun.

[B]

I just feel like, as the audience, like, we need to all come together and make our voices heard. And, like, not one person should like those photos. I want zero likes on those pictures, and maybe they'll stop doing it.

[A]

It's obscene. Like, I seriously don't understand it. No, it's really boring and it's uninteresting to me.

[B]

Like, it's not. I mean, it's unfortunate that you had to make Kylie the example because, like, you know, I would never want to say a crossword about her, but she is among those who are doing this.

[A]

Okay, you want me to call out someone else?

[B]

Well, then, Kim. I mean, to me, the peak of this is like the albino alligator. Kim. Kim dressed as an albino alligator for a photo.

[A]

I didn't realize that that's what that was.

[B]

Yeah, it said in the caption, I'll buy no alligator.

[A]

Okay, here's another example. And the Kardashians definitely, I feel like, started this trend, and now, like, everybody does it and it's annoying. So I definitely blame them. But it's trickled down, like, I saw. Okay, here's a good example. Alex Earl threw, like, a big Halloween party in LA like, last weekend and actually thought that was smart. I feel like she's kind of taking on, like, Heidi, Heidi Klum. Because Heidi Klum's party, I feel, is, like, it's dated. And did you see her looking like E. T. Last night? Like, it was so stupid.

[B]

And what's so crazy about her costume is it could have not even been Heidi in there.

[A]

Right. That's how it's been for the last couple years. Remember when she was a war.

[B]

Two years she's been at home.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Watching everyone think that she's walking the red carpet.

[A]

And I went last year, and it's clearly like, a money thing. Like, she has so many sponsors. So I actually think, like, even though Heidi didn't pass the baton, it feels like that was actually a really smart thing Alex Earl did. I liked. I think that if she continues to do it and, like, it becomes, like, an influencer type of thing, it could be like, you know, you think of Heidi's Halloween party, the Casamigos Halloween, and Alex Earl, and she had, like, this very creative costume. Whatever. And then she also did, like, a big photo shoot, like, where she got this custom box made where her and Braxton were Barbie and Ken. And it was like, they didn't go anywhere in this costume. They just, like, did a photo shoot. Like, why?

[B]

Yeah, but at least I'm being Barbie and Ken. It's not like they had to do, like, a million, like, makeup, sit in hair and makeup for six hours. That's why the albino alligator to me is so stupid. Worst offense. She didn't go anywhere. She just took a picture. I can't even imagine how many hours were spent on this. No.

[A]

And then when you see what Kylie actually dressed up as, like, for fun with her sister on Halloween. It was so cute. That video they made, they were like Isabella and Lizzie from the Lizzie McGuire movie. Purple and green matching, like it's a classic millennial. It reminds us like, they're just girls like us. Like, they made this cute little singing video like that. Why can't that just be enough?

[B]

Yeah. I also saw Kendall and Haley Bieber were Simple Life poster. I don't know if they went anywhere, but that is, like, a fun costume that you can move in and they maybe did something with it. I hope that they did. As opposed to just like sit at home and take content.

[A]

I don't know what the right word is for what celebrities do with all these photo shoots. It's like so overindulgent and it's so like gluttonous, if that's the right word. Yes.

[B]

But it's also just a good old fashioned waste of time and money. Time is the most precious thing we have.

[A]

We have. It's so many jobs.

[B]

Does Kim Kardashian have. And she's always telling us that she doesn't have enough time. But you have time for six hour alligator Albino just for a photo on your Instagram.

[A]

Not even like in Vogue.

[B]

That's why we need to use our power 0 likes.

[A]

I agree. And like, seeing all that, like I was saying, I saw all these pictures of Irina Shake and Anne Hathaway. Like, they were dressed up as like she was like a Tomb Raider. It was like for their kids. It was so sweet. Like, it just was built back to basics. I'm like, that's nice.

[B]

Yeah. I have a list of celebrity Halloween costumes. We'll let you know who was like, just her photo shoot who went out. But I actually think one of my favorite Halloween costumes. I don't know if she went anywhere, but she looked mobile. Was Elsa Hosk as Princess Diana.

[A]

Agreed. I feel like she didn't go anywhere. I feel like she just took a picture.

[B]

But she's wrong for that. She, like, I don't know why. No one's ever why has really. Maybe someone's done this before, but not in a.

[A]

No.

[B]

I feel like when they do Princess.

[A]

Diana, they do like the biker shorts and crew neck look.

[B]

She nailed it.

[A]

She did. She did the revenge dress. Like the black off the shoulder dress. She looked great.

[B]

Yeah, she really did. So then we also have Jennifer Gardner as Jenna Rink. What do you think about that? The self reference?

[A]

I don't mind it. And you like, she did it for a tick tock. At least she, like gave us something. It wasn't just like a dumb photo. She like recreated that iconic scene where she's getting ready for I'm going to a party in a limo.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, it was really cute.

[B]

Yeah, that is really cute.

[A]

I love someone who loves like an iconic role of theirs that, like, means so much to a generation. They don't like, ignore it and act like they hated that role. Like, she knows how much it means to people and she's always feeding us. Not in a way that's annoying and, like, too much so. You know what? I like it.

[B]

Mm. Then Sabrina got dressed up for her show. She did a Playboy bunny and she did Tinkerbell.

[A]

And then you talked about Carpenter, Right?

[B]

Is there another one?

[A]

Well, because then she did a lot of costumes because I saw two tiktoks. She was Sandy from Grease, which is so her.

[B]

I think the whole show, she kept changing into costumes.

[A]

And then she. This one didn't look. This looked like what she wore to, like, hang out with her friends because her friend was Miss Ungermeyer and she was Lizzie. When she's, like, in that fitting and she wears the big igloo dress.

[B]

Her friend was Miss Ungermeyer.

[A]

Yeah. It was hysterical.

[B]

That is really funny. Charlie D'Amelio was Black Swan. Adorable. Like, that's a real Halloween.

[A]

That's a good reference.

[B]

Oh, I've seen this a million times. And you know what? I'm finally going to mention it so that she can get the PR that she was hoping for. Lizzo as Ozempic.

[A]

I actually really did not like that. I'm so. I'm so glad you brought it up because, you know, she is on this weight loss journey, by the way. She looks great. And she's like, maintaining that she's not on Ozempic and everyone obviously accuses her of it, because if you're losing weight in this day and age, like, it's Ozempic and you've not lost it before, before. And she has said, like, she will take to her grave that she's not on. And I actually believe her because I feel like it's happening really slowly.

[B]

But do you think, like, she's on mount? That's the thing. People do too. They're like, it's semi glue tied compound, Jackie.

[A]

Literally me. Yeah. Like, if I took a lie detector test, like, I wasn't on Ozempic, I'm on Wiggle. I don't think she's lying. Like, I really don't. But the thing is, like, so you're not a part of the community. Like, you don't get to make jokes. Like, you're not on Ozempic, so get out of here.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And, you know, I was on Ozempic during last Halloween, and I dressed up as a skeleton because people were saying I looked like a skeleton. I was always gonna. And so, like, I was in on the joke and, like, I was getting. I was taking all the heat for being on Ozempic. So I'm allowed to reap the benefits of a costume. It's like, well, you're not. So, like, is my culture a costume to you? I don't think so.

[B]

That's really funny.

[A]

Like, it actually bothered me, but I'm, like, so protective over Ozempic and, like, when it comes to celebrities and, like, the media, that maybe I'm just, like, too close to it.

[B]

And I really feel like, in this day and age, like, if you're someone who's skinnier than they've ever been and you're on Ozempic, and by the way.

[A]

Like, there's literally nothing wrong with that. It's amazing.

[B]

Like, I. I think of a million people and, like, they would literally, they have to go on a lie detector. Like, there's no way for me to not think you're on. Okay.

[A]

And. And once.

[B]

If you're skinnier. Yeah. If you're skinnier than you've ever been and you. Yeah. And it's 2024. Like, you've lost weight. You're on Ozempic.

[A]

I don't believe in, like, speculating about who's on Ozempic.

[B]

Like, that's why I'm not naming names.

[A]

Like, I just.

[B]

I'm saying, like, big picture.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're on a topic.

[A]

That's what Josh. That's what Josh Peck is always saying, is that, like, he lost this huge amount of weight, like, before these drugs were an option for him, and, like, he feels robbed.

[B]

Yeah. Me too, by the way.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I would have been my whole life.

[A]

Jackie, you don't lose £200.

[B]

No, no. But I would have been on Ozempic my entire life as maintenance. And then I could have just, like, thought about other stuff for the last 10 years.

[A]

Yeah, you could have.

[B]

I could have.

[A]

Maybe you'd be a billionaire.

[B]

Maybe I would be a billionaire. But don't worry. One day when I go on those epic, it's over for you bitches.

[A]

Yeah, you keep saying that, and then, like, you didn't go on it, so.

[B]

I never said I'm going on it yet.

[A]

I know, but you keep saying one day. Like, when.

[B]

Oh, in years. Like, same time that I get. Like, when I'm done having children.

[A]

Like, when you get your tummy tuck.

[B]

It's for my golden years.

[A]

Got it. Got it.

[B]

I have to have something to look forward.

[A]

Look forward to. Breast reduction, tummy tuck, Ozempic.

[B]

Yeah. And then it's over.

[A]

When I am 75, it is over. You. It's so true.

[B]

Next up. I actually really like this costume. I'm going to give them some credit where it's due Kelly Ripa and Mark as Travis and Kelsey at the US Open.

[A]

Agreed. Recognizable, cute on. On trend.

[B]

I liked it well executed.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

I don't need, you know, a little video to show me who they are.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Oh, and then Olivia Coppo and Christian McCaffrey really, like, just went classic. Classic college Halloween. They were Dorothy and the Tin man from wizard of Oz.

[A]

So cute.

[B]

Oh, did you see Kristen Juszczyk, like.

[A]

Slayed Kristen and Kyle use. Check. Were Vinnie and Marisa Tomei for my cousin Vinnie. Like, seriously so good. I was, like, jealous. That's such a good costume. If I could pull off a unitard like that, maybe I would. I would have been that in my life. But I could never.

[B]

I just saw such a good costume right before this. Oh, shoot. I forget what it was.

[A]

There weren't a lot of really good celebrity costumes.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, Bethany Frankel was Wonder Woman. So was I. I forgot to tell you guys. That was my family Halloween. We were all superheroes, and I was Wonder Woman. She looks.

[A]

Yeah. You had to say brand safe.

[B]

She looks much better than me, I'll say that.

[A]

Oh, that's good. Yeah, She's. By the way, she's in her golden years. So it's over for you.

[B]

And, like, she's wearing, like, sexy Wonder Woman. Like, I'm, like, you know, in the neighborhood.

[A]

Right, Right. Yeah. Trying to be, like, a modest.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

For the children, of course. Oh, Janelle Monae also did ET There's a couple of Jessica rabbits. So there's some of, you know, that crossover. Yeah.

[A]

But overall, uninspiring. And I do believe this was the first year that Casamigos did not have their big La Casamigos Halloween party, which is where all the celebrities step out in their, like, best and brightest.

[B]

Unless it's this weekend.

[A]

No. I had heard that it wasn't happening. Isn't that interesting?

[B]

And I guess it would have been last weekend if it were happening, because, like, who's having a party on November 2nd?

[A]

It's Christmas.

[B]

Christmas.

[A]

It's Christmas.

[B]

Deck the Halls.

[A]

Even though it's 75 degrees in New York today, like, it's insane.

[B]

Yeah. You know what? I think it's warmer. Or at least yesterday it was, like, warmer in New York than it was here.

[A]

It was 81 degrees yesterday. 81. I had to walk home from the toast in my stupid costume because I was wearing shorts. It was so hot.

[B]

Oh, my God. I never had a chance to change out of my costume yesterday and, like, till the evening. So I'm like, running around like a cam counselor. It's actually, like, not a bad look.

[A]

No, not at all. It was quite cozy.

[B]

It was kind of a party Halloween.

[A]

It was.

[B]

It was a party toast. A ween.

[A]

Especially when I took that wig off. Oh, so itchy.

[B]

Our next story is something that you've alluded to a number of times now that I haven't taken the bait on. But Martha's a story. No, it's Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk trick or treating.

[A]

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

[B]

No, it's okay. I just usually, I tell you, don't worry. We're gonna talk about it. But I tried something new this time, which was not engaging.

[A]

And I was like, oh, she really doesn't care about these three getting together.

[B]

No, I cared enough to make it a story because I, too, thought it was remarkable for a number of reasons. Bradley Cooper and Irina Shake reunited for Halloween trick or treating with their daughter leia, who is 7. And Hathaway was also spotted with them. So there's a couple things that we have to break down here. The co parenting trick or treating. Like, that's really sweet of them.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Irene is Shake. I'm having an Irina Shake renaissance ever since the Victoria's Secret fashion show.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The way that she looked for trick or treating with her family was like, seriously, guard. She parched you on another level, to the point of, like, maybe it was too much, but, like, it was also.

[A]

I think, like, when you just look like that, it's hard not to be too much. She just put on, honestly, was probably from Spirit Halloween. Like, it wasn't even crazy. I just think when you're that tall, beautiful, thin, gorgeous model that, like, you put on your pajamas and it's too much.

[B]

Meanwhile, I think Anne Hathaway is wearing, like, elf ears.

[A]

No, Anne Hathaway was wearing, like, it was like, a gown to the floor that was, like, shredded. It was maybe like a mummy. I don't know. It was not obvious what she was.

[B]

I think she's probably something from, like, the Hobbit.

[A]

So the co parenting of it all is so interesting. Although, I mean, they've given us no reason to believe that they're not on good terms. I just feel like they're not, you know?

[B]

Yeah. I mean, divorce is not great, you know?

[A]

You know these celebrities, conscious uncoupling, like, they make it work.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When you have so much money, it's like, it's not that contentious, you know?

[B]

Yeah. I feel like Irina, like, doesn't get that Many opportunities to, like, rub something in his face. And this costume, was that.

[A]

Someone'S face? Did you see, upon the news of Giselle being pregnant being announced, Tom Brady posted, like, an emo photo, like, of nature with the word. With the song Landslide playing over top.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What did you make of that?

[B]

I think Tom Brady's just like the rest of us.

[A]

Like, do you think that was high, I'm struggling. Or just like, here's a picture of nature in a song that I like.

[B]

Yeah. And like, okay, this always happens where it's like, things look a certain way, but when you, like, peel it back. Like, I could see how he just took a picture of nature and then like, what's a good song about nature? Land slide.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And then anything that he posted that day, we're gonna break down.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I actually, I'm gonna say not related.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I don't think Tom Brady takes his feelings to Instagram. I don't even think he would know how to do that.

[A]

I agree. As a man and a man of a certain age and also a certain, like, level of fame, like, you don't do that. We're not posting quote cards.

[B]

But also, that's just like 45 year old grown man behavior. Like, I'm upset. Oh, let me go cry on Instagram. Like, it doesn't even cross his mind to do something.

[A]

I agree. Although it just was bizarre timing.

[B]

Yes. But I think anything that he posted that day, we would have looked at it through the lens of he's depressed. He's depressed because she's pregnant and he might have found out a week ago. What? What did he post seven days ago.

[A]

Right. When do you think he found out?

[B]

I think he found out a few days before the news was going to be public.

[A]

Yeah, me too. Because she. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I think she, like, she would have told him.

[A]

Okay, back to. Sorry. These three. What is the Anne Hathaway connection to either of them?

[B]

I think maybe it was what you said. Like, they were all on that street.

[A]

West. Yeah. I think when you're, like, wealthy and live in the West Village and you're a celebrity, like, you just. That's what I got from, like, Andy Cohen's books. Like, there's like a couple of restaurants you always go to. Like, you just know each other kind of. How? Like, you know, when you live in the suburbs, all the moms know each other.

[B]

Yeah. Like, how old is Anne Hathaway's son? Maybe he's in school.

[A]

Right. With their kids?

[B]

Something like that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Yeah, just like, cute celeb things.

[A]

Nice to see them having a nice moment. And like I said, I don't know why I feel like they really don't get along. They've never given us any reason to think that.

[B]

Well, because even when they were together, it looked like they didn't get along. And so now they're not.

[A]

Because that one photo shoot at Wimbledon.

[B]

No, but, like, there was so much weird stuff. Like, even with the Lady Gaga star is born moment, like, she was always, like, on the fringe, like.

[A]

Yep. I think she honestly did her dirty. If I was her, I would hate him too.

[B]

Yeah, I think so. Even when they were together, it didn't look like the happiest couple. And now that they've, like, separated and they have a child, but between them, like, seriously, I fucking hate you.

[A]

Yeah, it's no holds bar. Gloves are off. Like, you suck. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, nice that they made it work for the kid.

[B]

Yeah. Well, our next story number three is some other exciting child news. Because it's pregnancy news. Gossip Girls alums as Westwick's new wife is pregnant, Amy Jackson. And not to be like, you know, one of those.

[A]

But when you pregnant at the wedding. Yes. That's nice.

[B]

Right? Because you wouldn't announce a pregnancy, like, right when it happens. And they got married like a month.

[A]

Ago and she appeared to have a bump, although she's so small. I think maybe you have a bump, like, day one.

[B]

Oh, and also she has had a child before and you do get a bump quicker with your second or subsequent children than your first. The first takes a minute. Yeah. Interesting.

[A]

Well, this was a shock. And of course, like, I also thought immediately, because I'm such a wench and I just want to say there's literally.

[B]

Nothing wrong when I think that being.

[A]

Pregnant at your wedding or having a baby before, like, I feel like such.

[B]

A small town, like, yeah, like, conservative woman. Was she, like, pregnant wedlock.

[A]

I just want to say, like, there's literally nothing wrong with that. But of course I thought the same.

[B]

I feel like that song of Taylor. It's like Sarah's and Hannah's in their Sunday.

[A]

Yes. No, that's literally us. And that's why I had to say, like, there's nothing wrong. But also then you just can't drink at your wedding.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Not a huge loss.

[A]

A little bit of a bummer.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I guess it depends what your relationship with alcohol.

[B]

But it's like, if they never got married in the last few months, like, I wouldn't even say like, they'd be pregnant. I wouldn't be like, are they married? Are they not married? But, like, it's just. Because they just got married. Like, just the small town. Karen comes out.

[A]

Something about a wedding is, like, so like, traditional and religious that, like, you. You do think, like, you know. But no, that's fabulous. Happy for them.

[B]

That's fabulous. I am happy for them.

[A]

I'm like, I'm happy for them. And I know that, like, hearts are breaking everywhere, because even when he got married, like, a marriage is just a marriage. Right. Especially in Hollywood. But a child is binding, is binding for life. And I just know that, like, there are actually millions of girls out there, like, who just think that this should be them. And. And it's not. And I'm sorry. And it's tough to see other people living out your dreams.

[B]

So I'm like, do you think that he has millions of girls out there?

[A]

Yes. Like, people die for him also. Like, if I told you how many Instagram followers he had, like, you would be shocked.

[B]

They die for him because they die for Chuck Bass.

[A]

Yes. And he really has aged so well. Like, he has 11 million followers. Like, that's crazy.

[B]

How many show. How many does Chase Crawford have?

[A]

That's a good question. I think people die for Ed Westwick more than they die for Chase.

[B]

Yeah. Like, Nate was really okay.

[A]

This Chase Crawford, who, by the way, there is a Chase Crawford on Instagram who is verified, who has 264 followers. That's insane. And that's what. That's what came up for me. Am I blocked by Chase Crawford?

[B]

C H A C E. It is. Yeah. I could feel that. That's.

[A]

Yeah, you're right. Three million. Okay.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

So I'm telling you, there is, like, a cult following and sound like he went on to do other big things. Like, he had pretty much the same acting and career trajectory as Chase Crawford. There's no reason they shouldn't have similar amounts of followers. But he is, like, a global heartthrob.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow. And now, like, with a younger generation watching the show, like, they all love Chuck.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

Well, and I would argue that if you go to his Instagram now, like, he's more handsome now, I think, than he even was in the show. And I don't know if you could say that for all the guys.

[B]

Oh, for. Yeah. You know, he. He's aging nicely.

[A]

Yeah. And, you know, it's about to become a daddy.

[B]

Mazel tov.

[A]

Mazel tov. That's so nice.

[B]

Are you ready for our Next story number four.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A Game of Thrones movie is coming.

[A]

Enough with these people. Like, seriously, all they do is announce projects that never come to be. And the ones that do come to be House of the Dragon stink.

[B]

The project whose cinematic universe began with the TV series and adaptation of George R.R. martin's A Song of Ice and Fire book series, is in the very early stages of development of Warner Brothers, according to multiple outlets. Because the discussions are just beginning, no actors, writers or directors have been attached to the film.

[A]

Correct.

[B]

The track.

[A]

I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one in which I never asked to be a part of.

[B]

I saw a video recently that explained all of the Game of Thrones spin offs and what happened to them. And there were seriously, like 12. A lot of them are still, like, futzing around development. A lot of them are not happening. Like, you know Kit Harrington's one that was really, like, kind of.

[A]

That was sad. Yeah, yeah. What was that? Like a Jon Snow?

[B]

It was like, yeah, Jon Snow spin off.

[A]

Like, actually they're at this point, I do feel like they're kind of disgracing the legacy of girl with no job of. Of Game of Thrones with all this, like, will they, won't they? And they really need to stop because it's giving curse.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Well, in theory, a Game of Thrones movie. And would it be the same storyline? That's what it seems to be. It would be back to Westeros. It'd be a loop on the path of Kings Road. Oh, they love the King's Road. Like, the things that they do.

[A]

The Kings.

[B]

Would be similar to Game of Thrones. Yeah. And I love God, of course.

[A]

No, and maybe like. And directly after I would have. And I would have been down, but now that, like, there have so many. Been so many announcements, then so many derailments and X and Y and Z. Like, it's giving, like, messy.

[B]

Yeah, it is giving messy.

[A]

Like, stop trying actually, like, let sleeping dogs lie.

[B]

The next prequel series is coming out in late 2025, so in a year it's called A Night of the Seven Kingdoms.

[A]

Whatever. Like, for real. Whatever.

[B]

Yeah. Now it's just getting into, like, medieval porn, you know, like Game of Thrones. Amazing Anomaly.

[A]

But I don't watch medieval porn, Jackie. It is medieval porn. What are those restaurants called where you like, Medieval Times. Medieval Times, Yeah, it's. It's literally like porn stars at Medieval Times.

[B]

Yeah. That's how I felt watching House of the Dragon. Like, why am I watching, like, these, like, Medieval Crusaders. I don't watch shows like this.

[A]

It was harder to suspend disbelief with House of the Dragon, like Game of Thrones. They really built this universe and it.

[B]

Was like fantastic and anyone could love it. But there are a lot of shows like, you know, set in a similar time period. I don't watch them.

[A]

Right. No, it was different.

[B]

Dungeons and Dragons, like.

[A]

Right, right. Game of Thrones was different. And nothing else they've created since then has been and had that sort of magic.

[B]

It's true.

[A]

And I actually, I actually need them to stop trying.

[B]

Okay, well, now we can get into our fifth and final story.

[A]

Is it our fifth and final story? That is brought to you by Two Faced Cosmetics and their new Kissing Jelly lip Oil.

[B]

It is Turtle.

[A]

So too Faced viral bestseller, the Kissing Jelly lip oil has launched a new shade. It's called Birthday Kiss and it's now available exclusively at Sephora. So it's a brand new shade of their bestselling product. It delivers a 12 hour moisture, offers immediate shine. It is of course, vegan and cruelty free. And the sheer candy color and sparkle gloss smells like vanilla birthday cake. It's a perfect gift, you know, for the lady in your life who has the most gorgeous lips. That would be you.

[B]

And a birthday coming up.

[A]

Right, Right. So, so in honor of that, we have decided to play a little fun game with Too Faced. Since Jackie and I are obsessed with the idea of birthday buddies and this is a birthday themed product, we are going to play a little game. So, Jackie, I'm going to ask you a list of celebrity birthday twins that you have and if you would share a birthday party with them, give me a yes or no and your reason why. Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So if you had to, would you share a birthday party with your birthday twin, Lamar Odom?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I think. Yeah. No explanation needed.

[B]

No, like, it would be amazing. I could finally ask him what's going on with Keeping up with Sports maybe.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Chloe would be there.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Yeah, I think, I think Chris would definitely be there because she's so supportive and like, then she's at my birthday party.

[A]

I don't know if you know this, but the very famous elder lady, June Squibb is also your birthday buddy. And I can't believe we're just learning that. So would you share a birthday party with June Squibbly?

[B]

I would share a birthday party with June Squibb because that would really bring this entire thing full circle.

[A]

Full circle. You don't know June Squibb. Right? What do you know about June Squibb.

[B]

And I think it would be really great for you if you could meet June Squibb at my birthday party because you love her so much.

[A]

Right? Okay. And finally, if asked, would you share a birthday party, a joint party, with the icon herself, Sally Fields?

[B]

Yes, I would do that for Ben so that he could ask all of his questions about Mrs. About Mrs. Outfire.

[A]

That's really huge of you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Really, really huge.

[B]

And, you know, the more the merrier.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Birthday buddies. I love them. I identify with them. They're like a big part of who I am and how I see myself.

[A]

It's true.

[B]

And I would love to meet my fellow birthday buddies.

[A]

So now I have a list of birthday buddies you're gonna ask me. Let's turn the tables a bit, if we will.

[B]

Claudia, would you share a birthday party with Jessica Simpson?

[A]

I mean, it's a dream. And it's been a dream of mine since I was a child. Like, I think that at one point I maybe even had Jessica Simpson on my birthday cake. We like, had like a screen printed cake. So of course that, that would be full circle.

[B]

That would be a really fun party too.

[A]

Yeah. And we would play like, you know, all of her shop hits. It would be huge. Maybe Ashley would be there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Would you share a birthday party with Sophia Vergara?

[A]

No. We have, like, beef a little bit because she knows that, like, her ex man is the love of my life and, like, I would obviously have to invite him and that would be, like, put her in a tough spot. And I really am not interested in having a birthday to share a stage with somebody who's like, so much more beautiful and perfect looking than me. So I'm going to. I'm going to kick Sofia Vergara out of here. Birthday twin club. I wouldn't.

[B]

I understand. And I think I would feel the same.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Would you share a birthday party with Adrian Grenier?

[A]

I don't know if I knew that Adrian Grenier was my birthday buddy, and I absolutely would not because, you know, he would make us have it on, like the beach and we'd all be cleaning up the ocean or something, like, and that's a worthy cause and I'll do that like the next day, but for my birthday, like, I want straws. Like, you just know he would kind of ruin the party with his bad energy.

[B]

100%. And you know what? I feel like he wouldn't actually be cleaning up the beach. Like, he'd be sitting there, like, watching every delegating. Yeah.

[A]

Well, that was fun. Treat your lips to an ultra nourishing lip oil slash gloss hybrid that instantly softens your pout with our new shade, the two faced new shade of the Kissing Jelly Lip Oil. It is the Birthday Kiss shaded. It is available exclusively at Sephora. It has a sparkly finish and a birthday cake smell that will just leave you feeling timeless. Shop the new Birthday Kiss.

[B]

Timeless to me.

[A]

Shop the new Birthday Kiss Kissing Jelly Lip Oil Gloss exclusively at Sephora.

[B]

Thank you. Exclusively at Tertola Gefora. Yeah, our fifth and final story that's going to lead in tv, right? Recap is Martha now I actually think we should flip the tables and do the recap and then do the story because the story is about the documentary.

[A]

She's unhappy, right?

[B]

She has a few details that she would have changed. And so let's talk about the thing as a whole first.

[A]

She's gonna be so close to it. So I can say it's like an outsider. I thought it was perfect and I thought, I don't know if this was the goal of the documentary but I think that it really puts so much respect on her name for what she built. Like I knew that she had this big media company. I know that Martha Stewart's weddings is still a thing and I know at a certain time like she was the biggest and the best when it came to like food and cooking and home. But I really didn't know how she grew up super poor and how she took it from and how she was just this type of woman who was good at whatever she did. Like I think I'll fuck around and work at Goldman Sachs or whatever the equivalent was. And she was crushing it, making a quarter of a million dollars a year. Like she just has. And I didn't know this about her. Like she has this charisma and this talent and this energy. And I feel like it really accomplished two things. One, put a lot of respect on what she built because. And I don't know if I knew that she. And now I understand that that line, the first self made female billionaire, like that's inside what she did was insane. Taking a company public that was built exclusively on her. Yeah, insane.

[B]

I did not realize that she was the first female self made billionaire. Also really the first influencer. Because now there are so many companies that revolve around one person. One person is marketing like their lifestyle. Whether it's a New York Stock Exchange type of company or just a big influencer. It happens on so many different levels and it's so impressive that it. She was the first that it was her idea, that is a new business that had never been done before. And I feel like we missed Martha Stewart's heyday because by the time she went to prison, like we were still not even reading Socially conscious. Right. Like she was huge in the 90s. We were just growing up like we weren't her target audience. And I'm sad to have missed it. I tried to actually buy her book last night. The entertaining one.

[A]

Yeah, the first one.

[B]

It's like not in print anymore. But it was really interesting to see how someone, she became like an adjective. Martha Stewart living with her. Stewart magazine, Martha Stewart Media. How someone actually becomes that like tangibly without having like a leg up in this world. And how she really like used her skills that she knew to start a business. And that was like her catering business. Her catering business became a cookbook. Her cookbook. She had ideas flowing over, became a magazine.

[A]

Organic.

[B]

So organic. And like really step by step. No one sitting, like took a look at her one day and said, like, you could be a media empire. It was really her just knowing how much she had to offer.

[A]

And the documentary was so great because I feel like you really got to know her personality. And she's funny, she doesn't give a. And I also love that they highlighted like there were a lot of rumors at the time during the trial, but also before that she was kind of a nightmare and a. And like there are. They had all this old video footage of like her being kind of stern with people. And I love that she didn't apologize for that. She was like, yeah, like I was literally running a billion dollar company and like people were being moronic. Like, yeah, sorry, I had to talk to people in a stern way. Like, I kind of like that she didn't apologize for that. And like, no. No one would have made a singular comment about like a self made billionaire man who was like a dick.

[B]

Yeah. Who was very exacting in what he wanted. And someone said that in the documentary, like no one would say this about a man. And so. And he. And the person said like, it's cliche to even say that because anytime a woman does something, we'd say, we don't serve this bad man.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's so true.

[A]

It's so true. And I just loved getting to know her personality. And it's clear, like she's, she is who she is and she's always been this way. Like she's known what she wanted from a very young age. And I loved the documentary from the first moment. But really, when she told the story about coming home and telling her dad that she got engaged and he slapped her for marrying a Jew and she didn't give a fuck and she like literally got married and had kids with this guy, I like, just. Queen. Queen. I did not know what she was gonna say. Why did her dad slap her?

[B]

That was chilling.

[A]

Chilling.

[B]

Also, I didn't realize that she was. Had spent so much time close to Judaism in her life.

[A]

Yeah, No, I mean, her kids are Jewish.

[B]

Yeah, one. One kid, Right?

[A]

One kid, yeah. But she has grandkids too.

[B]

Oh, yeah. She was upset that they weren't included in the documentary. No. I thought it would like, really painted a really great picture of like how Martha Stewart Living came to be. And like, I was so. I was so impressed by her. Like, literally she's like up renovating her house, painting her walls, doing her own garden, building her own garden, having chickens. Like really, it's giving like, you know, ballerina farm.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, I guess to us is a modern day version.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But she was also doing like so much content, like so much teaching. That's a word that she used a lot. Like so much educating and what a great resource that was. And also, while also I love the Joan Didion piece that they kept quoting. I thought that she really like, really. I guess that's why she's Joan Didion. But really like put perfectly towards like the impact that Martha had. And like, it wasn't about like female hobbies, it was about like female power. Like the fact that you can find so much power in like the. In domesticity, to me, I find so interesting.

[A]

I agree. I thought that article was great. And I love that they remarked on two things. One, that like, yes, her traditional sort of like homemaking business was actually like a huge win for feminism. And then also I thought it was so interesting how really the biggest peak of her career, like when she went public was when she was in like her 40s and her 50s, which was so cool to see. But also that like, because like socioeconomically and just like what was happening in the culture was that like so many of the young women, when Martha was like 50, so many of like the young women who were getting married were raised by mothers who were thrown into the workforce and never taught them these things. Right. So you think about how like so and Martha learned it from her mom. Cause her mom was like a school teacher, made a 16 meals a day. Like she's very traditional. And then like when she was, you know, becoming a mom, they all Worked. And that's like the culture change. And so I thought it was so interesting. And I love that they just didn't like, clown on it as, like, you know, bad for women. You're teaching women to make cakes. They should be in the workforce. Like, shut up. No.

[B]

And I just said, even women who are in the workforce, like, they still.

[A]

Feel this drawn to the home.

[B]

Yeah. Because that's their. That's, you know, home, and that's their domain. That's the heart of their family. And so you can work and also still want to have, like, a warm home where you create things and you cook things.

[A]

Family.

[B]

Yeah. And sustain all that. So actually, I think they said, like, most of her audience was working women, not just people who sit at home and, like, are looking for things.

[A]

Cooking all day. Yeah. And honestly, the documentary was so interesting and her company went public, and I felt like it was almost over and I completely had forgotten the whole jail thing. And then the second half of the documentary is really, like, dedicated to that whole journey. And if you would have asked me, but I said, yeah, you know, she got a tip. She bought or sold or whatever, and she went to prison for it. And I so did not know how. Not the case that was. Now, I think when it comes to whether or not Martha actually did it, like, we will never know. She maintains her innocence, and I'm sure they're there. They had very little evidence. He said, she said some loser secretary saying, yeah, I heard him, whatever. But they were not able to bring charges onto Martha Stewart for insider trading. I did not know that she did not go to jail for insider trading. She went to jail for lying to the government because they couldn't get her on insider trading. So they were able to, like, go through one of her depositions and be like, well, this isn't 100% true, and we're going to take you to trial to prove it. So they were so clearly making an example of her and that guy, Jim's comey, whatever his name was, with some loser attorney general. Like, he wanted to make his bones off this. And you know what? It worked because he ended up, like you said, being the head of the FBI. Right. So he built his career out of the bones of women like Martha Stewart. It was. Honestly, now I don't even care if she broke the law because they abused the justice system. What a waste. First of all, like, Martha Stewart, 45 grand, she was a fucking billionaire. She was on the board of Revlon, of so many of the New York Stock Exchange, so many Publicly traded companies. Like, she needed 45 grand, please.

[B]

Right. No, that whole part, like, actually made me sick. Like, gave me a pit in my stomach. The fact that they could just, like, use.

[A]

Destroy everything she built.

[B]

Yeah. And like, that she's going to prison.

[A]

For a real prison.

[B]

And they could. And he didn't tip her off, the stock guy. So how. Whatever reason she had for making that trade, like, did not come because she knew that he didn't get his drug approved. Like, Right. It was sickening. And I, I just, like, I remember Martha Stewart going to jail. We didn't. I didn't really, like, know that, the details of it, but I feel like.

[A]

Now, like, Martha Stewart went to jail for insider trading. She did not. Yeah, for lying to the government.

[B]

And it just, like, really just makes you question. Like, I feel like at the time, were people, like. And there was some news coverage that was like, this was unfairly harsh. You could see.

[A]

No, but they were eating it up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But this ice queen who was allegedly rude to work with is also stealing from the government.

[B]

Like, it was so government if she's traded the investors. But, yeah, it was egregious. It was so upsetting. And honestly, I feel like the end of the documentary tried to, like, be like, and she's back and she's got this new life and actually going to jail set her free from her perfectionism. In a lot of way. I did not feel that optimism. I felt mad, Jackie. Me too mad. I'm not over it.

[A]

And I do remember, like, the official, you know, the comeback of Martha Stewart. I didn't realize it hinged so much on the roast of Justin Bieber. That's so funny and interesting to me and really brilliant. But I agree. And she is back and I know she's, you know, better than ever, but it made me so mad because her company went completely kaput. They were, what, 35, $40 a share, and then they were under $5, almost $2. Like, it made me so mad because everything everybody had said, right? Like, you can't take a company public that's based on one person because that person's reputation, that person could get hit by a car. Like, all of the things they ended up being right. Right. This billion dollar company did go because of her reputation, but she didn't do it. Or even if she did, it's not right how it went down. Like, it was so upset. Like, I was so mad. And honestly, when she was leaving prison wearing that crocheted poncho that one of her inmates made her like, let me tell you, Queen shit.

[B]

And then she did her show, and they're all wearing ponchos, and the dogs are wearing ponchos.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's a shame that her show didn't work out, that Margaret show. And I understood, like, why it didn't. But I think I was just like, I don't know how she could have. What moves she could have made to right. To right the ship at that point. Like, I think, you know, when she.

[A]

Said everything had to fall apart to not speak out. And that was, like, a mistake that she regrets. But I think even if she did speak out during the trial, like, it was such a coordinated from every media. There was nothing she could have done. Like, they wanted to destroy her, and they successfully did. And I was so angry, and I felt so sad for her, because when you think about how much it took for her to get to the place, like, she knew she was gonna take her company public, and everybody was like, you're crazy. She got Kmart to advance her the money to buy her company back. Like, everything she did was so fucking impressive. And I loved how the first thing she did when she made it big was. Was go to Kmart, and she's on Letterman, and Letterman's being such a dick. Kmart. Martha Stewart shops at Kmart. And she just, like, so understood the American woman being like, 70 million people shop in Kmart every single month. And just because you're shopping at Kmart doesn't mean you don't deserve nice things. Like.

[B]

Right.

[A]

She was so every woman. She wasn't really snobbish, even though the whole thing had, like, a very sort of elevated vibe to it. I was so angry.

[B]

I'm. I'm still angry.

[A]

I'm sure she is, too, by the way. You could tell there are certain things that happened to her in her life, like, even her first divorce, that she really wasn't over. Like, it was so clear she was so sad about that.

[B]

A billion dollars, she said she personally.

[A]

And I also did wish they asked, like, a couple more questions about her personal finances, because she' really very wealthy. But she became a billionaire, and then she said during the course of the trial, she lost personally a billion dollars.

[B]

I think that because of her, like, her stake in the company and the company losing so much.

[A]

But so how much money did she have at the end?

[B]

Oh, I don't know.

[A]

When they did that, Zoom out on the drone at the very end of her property. Her property is insane.

[B]

Yeah. So let's get into the fifth story, which is she has some notes on the documentary. She's not thrilled with a couple things, including what you just mentioned. So she has criticized the film by RJ Cutler over multiple editing choices that she disagreed with. She said, quote, those last scenes with me looking like a lonely old lady walking hunch over in the garden. Boy. I told him to get rid of those, and he refused.

[A]

I tell you, she's so funny.

[B]

So funny. She said, I hate those scenes. Hate them. She also took issue with the project's musical score, claiming it didn't reflect her taste. She said to rj, quote, an essential part of the film is that you play rap music. Dr. Jerry will probably score it, or Snoop Dogg or Frederick. I said, I want that music. And then he gets some lousy classical score in there, which has nothing to do with me.

[A]

They did play a Snoop Dogg song at the very end because they did a big part of the documentary, really giving him credit for a lot of her comeback. And so I thought that was a good nod. But I'm glad they didn't play rap music throughout the whole documentary. It wouldn't have fit.

[B]

I agree. And maybe that's like, where she is now. Or was she listening to rap music while she was renovating Turkey Hill? I don't know.

[A]

She wasn't. She was listening to classical, like, symphony.

[B]

The music fit to me. I didn't notice it. And that's a good thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then she also said that the director used very little footage from her personal archive, noting there was not even a mention of her two grandchildren. She also felt the doc placed too much focus on her 2004 ob obtion of justice trial, which led to her serving nearly five months.

[A]

She said, no, we. We needed that much. Because to understand really what they did to her and how coordinated it was, she should be glad. Like, she should feel vindicated. But I think maybe she's at this point in her life where, like, she can't care about it anymore.

[B]

Yeah. She said it was not that important. The trial and the actual incarceration was less than 2 years out of an 83 year light. I considered it a vacation. To tell you the truth, the trial itself was extremely boring. Even the judge fell asleep. RJ didn't even put that in. The judge was asleep at the bench. I wrote it in my diary every day.

[A]

No, Martha's so funny, like the. That she says that, like, you obviously think in your head, but you never say out loud. She was like, ugh. And that wench from the New York Post was there. She's Dead now. I'm glad she said, thank goodness. She's so funny.

[B]

Yeah, she is. I mean, at this point, like, she doesn't give a fuck. The worst thing that could possibly have happened to her happened. So let's let her rip, huh? I only. I only wish this documentary came out sooner because I think it will usher in a renaissance from Arthur Stewart. I think there's going to be more. Like the way that I looked to buy her cookbook. I think thousands of people are going to do. I wouldn't be surprised if they reissue it. I wouldn't be surprised if she writes more new ones. Like, I think that the big moment that she has so deserved. Even though she's had big moments, I just don't feel like they're as big as what she lost.

[A]

No. Agreed. And they tried to say that in the documentary. Like, she's back, a new generation reclaimed her relevance and she's huge. But no, not like, no.

[B]

And I think she deserves to have all of the things that she once.

[A]

Had and she deserves it all back.

[B]

And I only wish that this has happened sooner and also like that I knew about, like, because honestly I. I loved everything that I saw in the documentary. I wish that I hadn't known about what she had done sooner so that I could have maybe gotten some books and learned some things. I want to watch her show.

[A]

Yeah. It was an infuriating documentary.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the first hour was so inspiring. Like really, like just this badass woman in business who started with fucking nothing. Like really nothing. And when she was talking about like her house in the Hamptons. Oh my God, so sick. Like she's such a queen. And I really forgot. And I was like, I wonder how they're gonna wrap this up. Like, and then I forgot about this huge thing that happened to her so late in life and it really made me angry. Like, for real.

[B]

Yeah. And I buy magazines in the grocery store checkout aisle and like they are lacking because Martha Stewart, that's where she should be.

[A]

Correct.

[B]

So I just.

[A]

Disgraceful.

[B]

I'm mad at like what I've missed out on in this years of my life. Like I should have had Martha guiding me and I don't. And I didn't have that guidance when.

[A]

She said that she got put in solitary for 24 hours with no food and water because she accidentally. She didn't know that this person was a guard and touch their necklace being like cute necklace. I was shook.

[B]

That's so crazy.

[A]

She's very tough. Oh, and that piece of Google guy Microsoft, Charles. Yeah. I didn't realize that they had dated for so long.

[B]

He didn't visit her in jail. And then he broke up with her, like, laying in naked in bed.

[A]

And, like, sent her a jet to pick her up from jail, which was very generous, but only to break up with her.

[B]

Yeah. But she could have had her own jet. But also, like, who this just, like, speaks to? Like, I think Hollywood stuff, like, rich people stuff, where it's like, I'm sleeping with someone and I'm letting you know that I'm engaged to someone else, and that's why I'm breaking up with you. But I'm also engaged. But we. But you're my girlfriend, by the way. For 15 years. But I'm engaged.

[A]

No. And that's what she said also about Ina Garten when she was on watch Happens. I, like, so many people, like, really abandoned her because the stink of being a convict, like, some. And she ran in, like, hoity toity, fancy business lifestyle circles, and people didn't want that. And so that was probably another huge hit. Even getting out of prison. Like, you're free, but nobody wants to be near you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which ends up being a blessing, by the way.

[B]

Yeah. And she's like, you know, she has herself. Like, she's so strong. Like, I don't know. I liked how she wouldn't even make herself a victim for one second.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Even with, like, her husband cheating on her. Like, that's just, like, a tough person mentality. And I think it's really admirable.

[A]

She was so funny, like, talking about how horrible it was to be cheated on. And the guy was like, you also had an affair, though. Yes. And she's like, yeah, but he was Irish. Like, she.

[B]

No, she was like, he never knew. And we're like, no, we spoke to him. You knew, you know, he was a mensch.

[A]

Like, yeah, it didn't end right. But he, like, loved her and he supported her. He let her do whatever she wanted.

[B]

Yeah. But he had an affair with the girl who worked for her on their property. That's.

[A]

Yeah, but she had an affair, too.

[B]

Yeah. But it was an imperfect marriage. I wouldn't say.

[A]

I wouldn't say men, but I would.

[B]

Say, you know, they hurt each other.

[A]

Yeah. I just, like, loved him for, like, picking her out and loving her, like, instantly and marrying her and really bringing her up in this world. And she was able to do so much that she never would have been able to do without, like, sort of the access and the lifestyle that he gave her.

[B]

Or it might have just taken her longer, but she got to take a few steps forward.

[A]

Yeah. And so for that, I like him.

[B]

Yeah. And he let her like do whatever with Turkey Hill.

[A]

Literally, that how I love Turkey Hill.

[B]

I know.

[A]

She's such a queen. I love her.

[B]

I know. I just want like to consume more of her. But like, where the. Where can I find it?

[A]

I know. We need Martha back.

[B]

I guess she has her show with Snoop now, but it's like more like gamesy.

[A]

It's not on any.

[B]

I want the education that she's promised us.

[A]

Yeah. We need Magnolia Network to pick her up.

[B]

We do just Martha in the kitchen teaching.

[A]

So those were the fast five stories that you needed to know. And now it's time for Queenie and Weenie of the Week, Our favorite time of the week, where Jackie and I just sort of sit back and take at a glance look at the week and we deliver two awards. Queenie of the Week and Weenie of the Week. Someone who acted like a queenie and somebody acted like a weenie. It's not that serious. It's just like meant to be, you know, a fun little game. It's a seven day title. We're having fun. So let's start with Queenie.

[B]

My Queenie is of course Martha Stewart.

[A]

She's an honorable mention for me, but she's actually not my Queenie.

[B]

Oh, well, I'll just wrap up the conversation we just had about her because I could, like, it's hard not to let a Friday episode influence Queenie meaning. But like, after what I saw last night, like, she's absolutely the Queenie of my weekend.

[A]

I agree. Like, she deserves it. And I'm glad you gave it to her because I wanted to give my Queenie to Chelsea Soffer, who made Toasted Ween so funny and so great and was so down to play, down to clown and brought so much joy to so many people. Like, I was literally in the tub, like hours after Toasted Ween cracking up. People just tagging me in, like their stories, like random moments, filming Ben throughout the episode. Chessie is a queenie and she deserves the title.

[B]

Yeah, she deserves the world.

[A]

Now, my weenie is kind of directly in response to your queenie. My weenie is James Comey.

[B]

Yeah. You know, I didn't have a Weenie of the week. I went through everything, you know, I oriented myself to the week, my photos and then also reading the descriptions of our episodes. That's usually where the weenie finds me. And there was no weenie this week until 1. Jim's James Coney, my runner up weenie.

[A]

Of the week was going to be us for dropping the ball on Dear Toasters. But compared to what James. Compared to what James Comey did to Martha Stewart, nothing. Nothing. Also, it's really like behavior. Like if you're not good enough at your job for like a promotion, then that's just say that. But here's trying to build a career off the backs of successful women and successfully destroying them for your own personal gain is disgraceful. You are a piece of shit. And Martha Stewart is a queen.

[B]

Yes. And if you really couldn't find some real corruption on Wall street to charge, do better. Well, then you're not very good at your job.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

Very good lawyers. Are we.

[A]

He's clearly like inept and just took an easy way out. And everyone wanted to take down Martha. She was at the top of her game. She was a powerful woman. She wasn't like, nice. So it was easy. You know, the press was down. That doesn't make you good at your job. It makes you a scoundrel and a weasel.

[B]

Scoundrel and a weenie.

[A]

So Martha, we will protect you. She's like on our list of people we will here to for protect.

[B]

Yes, yes, yes.

[A]

Actually, I can't believe we have talked about Martha Stewart for literally 45 minutes and I have not shared the fact that I sat next to Martha Stewart at a dinner party. And I actually did stand up in front of Martha Stewart.

[B]

Remember when we sat next to her at dinner and she left Margaret's phone case?

[A]

Yes, yes, yes. But she was at a restaurant.

[B]

I forgot about that.

[A]

She was at a restaurant and we happened to be seated at like the next booth to her. No, no, I was at the same party as her. It was a dinner party and we sat next to each other.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And she was a queen. And then the host of the dinner party was like Claudia to stand up. Like, should we have her do a joke? And I seriously wanted to kill him, but I did it.

[B]

What'd you say?

[A]

I told like a little bit from. I had just released. I was about to release my special. So I did like a little bit for my special.

[B]

Which one?

[A]

Which bit about vaping on the plane And I had my vape with me. Martha thought it was hilarious. Like, she was cracking up when I called the flight attendant to c unto. And then like, I was also seated next to her. So we were just like chatting all day. And it was amazing. And I Just can't believe I talked about her this entire time without inserting myself. That's how powerful Martha is.

[B]

It's true. I hadn't even thought, like. Yeah, she was. She liked Margot's phone case. The one. What does Margot's phone case say?

[A]

Don't touch me.

[B]

It's a heart and it says, don't touch me. And Margo's phone was flipped over on the table because we don't use our phones at dinner. And she picked it up and she loved it. Yeah.

[A]

Martha was like, that's funny.

[B]

Now knowing her. Yeah, she should get that phone case.

[A]

Yeah. I don't think she. I don't even know she's. I know it's so personal to her, so she's gonna have her criticisms of it. But I think that if it takes off in the way that I think it will. It just came out yesterday, the day before. I think it will be another sort of like, you know, kindling, like how the Justin Bieber roast was for. It will ignite, I think another wave of Martha obsession.

[B]

1,000%. And really, like, nothing that comes next could ever make. Right. What happened. But we could start with a billion. How about we start with a billion? We'll work. But adjusted for inflation and for the year she would have spent investing with that by the. With all her good tips.

[A]

Right. That's also what she was saying when she was like, hanging. She was like, I started hanging out with billionaires through. I forget what it was. And she was like. And these were, you know, back in the day to be a billionaire. Not that being a billionaire now is anything to scoff at, but like, because of inflation and things like that, like, back in the day, a billionaire was a billionaire. She was like. It was different.

[B]

Yeah. So let's start paying her back. I'm ready to subscribe.

[A]

Where can I send the check? That's our show. That's our week. You guys, thank you so much for another fabulous week of the Toast, the Monday morning show where we deliver the fastest stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So you're watching us on YouTube. Please hope to subscribe this video. Thumbs up. We're also available as podcast anywhere. Podcast can be found on Spotify. June Sister public radio iron podcasting five star review about a beautiful, better, stunning and about how wickedly talented we are.

[B]

Love ya. Bye.

[A]

Have a great weekend.