The Five F's: Monday, March 9th, 2026

Summary

The Toast – March 9, 2026: "The Five F's"

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Episode Overview

Jackie and Claudia Oshry kick off the week on The Toast dissecting their weekends through the lens of the “Five F’s”: Food, Faith, Family, Friends, and…Findings (intellectual/curiosity). From grappling with the universal pain of daylight savings to playful debates about book choices, children’s literature, and the intersection of pop culture with personal life, the Oshry sisters bring their signature swirl of humor, earnestness, and fast-moving conversation. Key entertainment news ranges from Timothée Chalamet’s ballet backlash to viral updates on Donna Kelce, with detours through reality TV drama, children’s book franchises, home renovations, celebrity crime, and reality stars-turned-authors.

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Notable Discussion Points

1. Daylight Savings Struggles & Weekend Recap

00:25 – 05:50

• Mutually despised spring daylight savings:
  • Both hosts bemoan the disruption and share how it cost them sleep and, humorously, “an hour of friendship.”
  • [00:51, A] “The other one where we get an extra hour of sleep—fine, fine. But that means we have to deal with this one where we lose an hour, and they cancel each other out.”
• Debate on the purpose of daylight savings:
  • Jokes about outmoded explanations (“Kids in Alaska,” “for the farmers”), with a modern twist:
    [02:18, A] “But, like, Bill Gates owns all the farms. So what now?”
• Weekend highlights mapped onto the "Five F's":
  • Jackie finished a novel (historical fiction about Evelyn Nesbit), had a cocktail, socialized, went to the beach, and enjoyed Shabbat.
  • Claudia played hostess, had friends and family over, and attended Shabbat dinner.
  • Playful brainstorming over a fifth “F”: “Findings” (for intellectual pursuits), and “Fulfilling” for restful weekends.
  • [05:02, A]: “What am I always saying? Food, faith, family, friends. That’s literally… and then also I need to come up with a word that starts with F that’s like, intellectual.”

2. Children’s Book Talk & Writing Process

06:45 – 08:25

• Jackie shares her foray into children’s literature (Little Blue Truck: Spring Edition—"you can skip it, it sucks") and reveals plans to write a counselor-camper sequel.
• Claudia presses for a timeline and offers to help with childcare to “free up bandwidth.”
• Discussion of the challenges and process behind writing and self-publishing kids’ books—plus a humorous plea for publishers to reach out given their self-made sales success.
  • [08:13, B]: “Proof of concept: we sold many, many copies!”

3. Substack, Cooking, and Content Creation

08:32 – 11:00

• Updates on Ben’s foray into the food Substack world, how modern recipe sharing is evolving, and the cozy domestic routines Jackie and her husband are settling into: “It’s insane how literary and evolved we are… last night, we like, rotted in bed for four hours and watched [Love Story]…”
• Love Story review: “Probably the worst episode… If even anything about the wedding is true, my god, her and John are so fudging annoying…” (10:16-11:04, A)
  • On Carolyn Bessette Kennedy: “If that’s true, we need to stop stanning Carolyn. Like, she’s the one. Talk about not being a girl’s girl.” (12:00, A)

4. TikTok Poses & Lip Gloss Break

12:21 – 14:16

• A typical, charmingly superficial debate about lip gloss options transitions into musings on TikTok trends: discovering and failing to master the new “Gen Z pout.”
  • “It’s very top lip heavy, like, and it’s kind of like you smelled something, you know?” (53:44, A)

5. Mahjong, Motherhood, and Naming Kids

13:42 – 17:20

• Extended riff on young women embracing mahjong and the cadence of Jackie’s group vs. older, retired players.
• Cooking eggs and exploring creative recipes for babies (bone marrow custard, broccoli cheddar pancakes).
• Playful banter on nicknames for their kids and the meta concept for a podcast that only interviews people with their children’s names: “Of course there are Maxes we need to interview. Maxwell Sheffield. I would love to chat with.” (16:43, A)

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Main Pop Culture and News Stories

1. Timothée Chalamet vs. Ballet & Opera (23:52 – 28:48)

• Recap: Timothée’s “no one cares about ballet and opera” comment at a CNN Variety Town Hall draws backlash from international arts institutions.
  • Jackie: “The reaction is sort of proving his point… but I know what he’s saying. Obviously, he’s not being careful with his words.” (24:51, A)
  • Claudia: “They are having a moment, and ultimately they should be thanking Timothée because ballet and opera… are not what they used to be.” (25:38, B)
• Nuanced debate about elitism, funding, societal value of the arts, and whether Timothée will apologize for the “non-scandal”:
  • “It’s not that serious… he shouldn’t apologize, because that’s just, like, lame. Like, apology culture at its worst.” (27:53, B)
• Segues into how the era of “live performance” is overshadowed by accessibility, CGI, and modern mass appeal.

2. Donna Kelce’s Condo Renovation Goes Viral (32:57 – 35:14)

• TMZ headlines that Travis and Jason Kelce’s mother, Donna, is renovating her modest two-bedroom Florida condo.
  • Jackie: “When celebrities are talking about how they have no privacy, they do compared to Donna Kelsey.” (34:07, A)
  • The viral moment and Internet reaction (“How can I sleep at night knowing this?”) is critiqued and celebrated as “mindless news.”
• Call for Donna to embrace her moment with a possible HGTV miniseries or furniture commercial.
• “That’s my humble queen living in a two-bedroom condo.” (34:53, A)

3. LA Crime: Rachel Zoe & Rihanna Burglarized (35:14 – 40:54)

• Rachel Zoe’s home is burglarized during a Vegas trip, the latest in a “rite of passage” for Beverly Hills reality-adjacent celebrities; first successes in catching suspects.
  • “It never happens. Don’t you feel like her home wouldn’t have been robbed if she wasn’t a Real Housewife?” (37:58, A)
• Rihanna’s LA home shot at while she and her family were inside.
  • “Who would try to kill Rihanna? Like, seriously." (40:42, A)
• Reflections on fame, privacy for public figures, and increased celebrity vulnerability.

4. Las Vegas Social Sightings (45:28 – 48:20)

• Brooks Nader and Kevin Costner “friendly” in Vegas—particularly disappointing to Luann de Lesseps who once publicly thirsted for Costner.
  • Claudia: "Brooks Nader knows her own mind... whatever she chooses to do, she's an eldest daughter." (46:16, B)
  • “Not the great love of her life… when you can get any man in the world, Kevin Costner actually doesn’t do it.” (46:29, A)
• Alex Earle also in Vegas; teases tough edits and “family therapy” in her reality show, especially with her stepmom, Ashley Dupre.
  • “Sometimes we’ll just sweep things under the rug and we’re like, let’s not disturb the peace of the family… now we’re in family therapy.” (49:02, B)

5. Book & Memoir Title Discourse (54:25 – 59:35)

• Dave Portnoy’s upcoming memoir Cancel Me If You Can is praised for its title and anticipated “tell-all” nature.
  • “In terms of a title—ten out of ten.” (55:09, B)
• Wry comparison to other celebrity memoirs (Lisa Rinna’s These Lips Were Made for Talking, Dorit’s Unburdened by What Has Been, Ina’s “Luck Happens” title).
• Reflections on the art and agony of titling a memoir.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Daylight Savings Side-Effects:
  • “I lost an hour of friendship. Dana said that she literally would have come a different weekend if she knew.” (02:25, B)
• Children’s Book Critique
  • “I just want to say you can skip it. Like, it fucking sucks.” (07:23, A)
• On Pop Culture Scandals:
  • “He kind of needed a little edge. Don’t you feel like this makes him a little sexier? Like he was just too beloved?” (32:17, A)

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Timeline of Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-------------|------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:25–05:50 | Daylight savings, weekend “Five F” check-in | | 05:53–08:25 | Book talk, children’s books, kids’ lit writing process | | 08:32–11:00 | Substack, couples’ routines, critiques of Love Story series | | 12:21–14:16 | Lip gloss trials, TikTok “Gen Z pout” | | 13:42–17:20 | Mahjong, motherhood, children's nicknames, fictional podcast idea| | 23:52–28:48 | Timothée Chalamet ballet controversy, societal art consumption | | 32:57–35:14 | Donna Kelce’s viral home renovation news | | 35:14–40:54 | Rachel Zoe’s home burglary, Rihanna’s house shooting | | 45:28–48:20 | Brooks Nader & Kevin Costner in Vegas, Alex Earle reality show | | 54:25–59:35 | Celebrity memoirs & book titles |

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Tone & Style

Upbeat, whirlwind banter with snark, heart, and a deeply millennial lens. Jackie and Claudia oscillate between friendly teasing and sharp pop culture commentary, channeling the vibe of “sisters on a couch catching up on everything.”

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Summary in a (Butter) Toast:
The Oshrys blend the personal (“Five F’s” self-inventory, book clubs, mahjong, motherhood micro-updates) with pop culture’s biggest, quirkiest stories. They approach everything from Timothée Chalamet’s art world comments to Donna Kelce’s window replacements with a rare mix of wit and relatability. By the end, you’ll be in on TikTok’s latest face trend, down a recommended beach read (or not), and ready to debate whether “Cancel Me If You Can” is the perfect memoir title.

Transcript

[A]

Good morning, girlies.

[B]

It's the Toast. It's Jackson Claude, and we're your host. It's your favorite show, the best five things you need to know.

[A]

We'll start your day off swirly. It's the Toast.

[B]

They sound amazing.

[A]

Welcome back to the Toast and happy Monday. After daylight savings, we've sufficiently sprung forward, and I just want to say this is. Monday's not the vibe, like, at all.

[B]

It's not. Dlight savings is not the vibe. I'm not gonna go on and on about why. It's just not.

[A]

I don't feel like it needs to be.

[B]

It doesn't need to be said. I feel like we're all aligned. We're waiting for our civil servants to do something about it. So true.

[A]

I just can't take it anymore.

[B]

Like, cancel daylight savings. Especially this one.

[A]

The other one, Kids in Alaska, okay?

[B]

The other one, where we get an extra hour of sleep. Like, fine, fine. But that means that we have to deal with this one where we lose

[A]

an hour, and they both. They cancel each other out. Like, the goodness of, like, I do need either. I need for nothing in this life. Okay. No.

[B]

And it's. It's such a. Like, a startling change of lifestyle.

[A]

So true.

[B]

Do you know what I mean? Like, now we, like, will go to bed later because it stays light later. Like, we're kind of up with the sun and down with the sun. I remember, like, in the summer, we would go to sleep really late because it's, like, still light out, Right. And then when daylight savings happened in the fall, it got dark so early, and that's when we did our, like, major bedtime move up. And it's just a lot of change, you know?

[A]

It's a lot of change. Some of us can't really handle it, and I'm just not interested. And I find that every time it's spring forward, I just, like, happen to be, like, I don't go anywhere at night, you know? But, like, I had dinner plans, I had had a cocktail, and then I, like, lost an hour. It's really hard enough to have a cocktail and then wake up and be a parent.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And I just find that, like, had I known obviously that it was a spring forward, I would have chosen a different night for my one night out, you know?

[B]

Yeah. Also, Dana was here this weekend, and her flight was Sunday morning, and she left my house at, like, 10:00am but it meant she left my house at, like, 9:00am we literally lost an hour of friendship.

[A]

And, like, for what?

[B]

An hour? No one she lives.

[A]

No one has sufficiently explained to me the purpose. You told me it was about the kids in Alaska getting on the bus in the morning, and that's not true.

[B]

Initially, it's for the farmers.

[A]

Okay. But, like, Bill Gates owns all the farms. So what now?

[B]

No. And, like, we have lights, we have technology.

[A]

Correct.

[B]

I lost an hour of friendship. Dana said that she literally would have come a different weekend if she knew because she didn't even get to come that long because of, like, her kid's schedule. She got here Friday afternoon. She had to leave Sunday morning so that, like, you know, they wouldn't get home too late or anything. And we, like. So she was probably here all in all, like, 36 hours. 40 hours? Make it 39.

[A]

It's so crazy.

[B]

It's so upsetting.

[A]

I did so much this weekend. Like, I nourished, really, a lot of different parts of myself. I've finished a book for the first time since, like, I actually don't even know the last book I read in full. It might have been while I was pregnant. I, like, didn't read a lot when I was pregnant. Excellent book. Oh, I run for you. Here.

[B]

Oh, thank you.

[A]

Yeah, I took the book jacket off because I'm just, like, so, like, this is so organic. You know what I mean?

[B]

You're not reading a book. You're reading a novel.

[A]

Yes. No. I'm literally, like, living in the 1900s. It was such a good book. If you. If you, like, don't let anyone see the title. I know the title is not, like.

[B]

No, I like the title for Swirlitude, but, like, you know, for clout.

[A]

It doesn't give serious novels.

[B]

It doesn't give clout.

[A]

But you wouldn't know that. I read, like, a historical fiction novel based on the life of real life showgirl Evelyn Nesbit. Yeah. If you were into the. I just know Taylor read that book.

[B]

For sure. It sounds like a. Like, what's her name in the Showgirl song?

[A]

Kitty. Her name is Evelyn.

[B]

Her name is Kitty.

[A]

Made her money being pretty and witty. They literally gave her the keys to this city. You have to. And they say she didn't do it legitly.

[B]

That's so cool. Is that this book? Is that what happened?

[A]

I do feel like, either Taylor wrote about this book or this book was sort of inspired by Talos.

[B]

Or they both were inspired by Evelyn Nesbit.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. It's so funny because, like, before pictures and stuff, like, a woman, like, they were, like, famous women, and they were, like, the most beautiful women in the World, Right? And so this in the, in the book, the woman is like considered the most beautiful. And like when people meet her, they faint. Right? And then I. She was like posing for different modeling campaigns. And I like saw some of the sketches of her there. I don't know if they're actually like real pictures of her, but they're all sketches. And it's like no one would look twice at this girl like today. Do you know what I mean?

[B]

But we're so desensitized.

[A]

I know.

[B]

You know modern plastic surgery. But I see plenty of beautiful people who don't have plastic surgery.

[A]

So she wouldn't cut it. I'm just saying.

[B]

Well, makeup.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, but they wore makeup. Rouge.

[B]

A little rouge.

[A]

So I finished a whole book, I had a cocktail. Oh, and I bought another book. Like I'm so crazy just reading book after book. I went to the beach with my sister.

[B]

Alert. We went to the beach on Saturday.

[A]

I've literally just like sort of nourished mind, body and soul, checked every bucket except for the daylight savings of it all. Oh. And then I went out and like socialized. And I was home at 11. Like I'm so crazy. I kind of like checked every box. I kind of slayed.

[B]

And we had Shabbat Friday night.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Made brisket.

[A]

Jackie made a delicious Shabbos meal.

[B]

We checked like the faithfulness box.

[A]

What am I always saying? Food, faith, family, friends. That's literally. And then also I need to like come up with a word that starts with F. That's like intellectual.

[B]

Findings.

[A]

Chilling. Food, faith, family, friends, findings. Title. Yeah. Did you check as many boxes as me?

[B]

Oh, I checked a lot. I like, I checked heavy on the friends box.

[A]

Like I had. Wait, you had. You had a house guest?

[B]

I had friends over. Multiple guests. Cuz Dana and her husband and her kids came. So that's like friends, family. So we went hard. Faith. I mean, I hosted the Shabbat. So I guess we like check those boxes. Heavy.

[A]

Yeah. And you know what? It's okay if you didn't check any boxes this weekend. Not every weekend is going to check every box. But I just so happened to have like an extremely dynamic weekend. Oh. I went to the farmer's market.

[B]

Oh, another F. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Fresh wares.

[B]

Last weekend, as we all know. Twice I didn't take my pajamas off. Like sometimes.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And sometimes an amazing.

[A]

And what's the F word for that? Like sort of feverishly rotting.

[B]

No, it wasn't rotting. I don't really endorse rotting.

[A]

Well, laying in bed With a baby isn't rotting.

[B]

Not at all enriching.

[A]

Just sort of like feverishly enriching.

[B]

You just want to set. No, but it wasn't.

[A]

Can you tell? I recently read a book feverishly.

[B]

It was very F. And also like we had everyone over to my house last weekend. Like barbecue.

[A]

Very fulfilling.

[B]

Fulfilling is the word. That one was fulfilling. A book. Yeah, it's really helpful.

[A]

I actually read two books.

[B]

It's really helpful when you're reading.

[A]

Yes. It expands the mind.

[B]

Yeah. What other book did you read?

[A]

Little Blue Trucks, Spring edition. So I feel like when we talk about the sort of franchises within kids novels, we talk a lot about Llama Llama, of course, Dr. Seuss. Like books that like have different versions and then like movies and TV shows. Nobody talks about the little blue truck. And I wasn't familiar. Just sort of. I came in a stack of books that my mother in law gave me and I was very drawn to it. And then I was at Barnes and Noble Noble. And I didn't realize that like they did sequels. You didn't know that was happening much like Cynthia Rivo. So I got the little bit Truck Spring edition. I just want to say you can skip it. Like it fucking sucks.

[B]

Yeah, it sucks. It happens. Yeah.

[A]

Not every book can be a banger. When is the Camper and the Counselor sequel that's based on your other sister who's like loves you so much.

[B]

And I have this story in my heart.

[A]

Do you?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Have you told me it?

[B]

I feel like I have.

[A]

Have you said it here?

[B]

I don't know. I don't want to spoil it, but like Cameron, Counselor sequel is coming. It's just a matter of like bandwidth on my part.

[A]

Well, let's get to work. Come on. What do you need for? How can I help? Like, support. I could watch your kids, like, so you can get to work.

[B]

Yeah, I guess.

[A]

How long does it take to write a children's book?

[B]

You know, a couple hard sessions and then a couple hard sessions with the editor and then like all the liaising of like the. The illustrator and whatnot. However, my first children's book was self published, so that was even more work. I look forward to maybe having a publisher on the second time.

[A]

Okay. Publishers reach out like you would have

[B]

thought they would have on the 1st.

[A]

We sold a lot of copies of the campaign.

[B]

I have a lot of stats.

[A]

The proof of concept.

[B]

Proof of concept reach out to many, many copies.

[A]

Like how many books does Jimmy Fallon need to write for the kids? He's an adult entertainer.

[B]

No, they publish books that sell, like, not a lot of copies. I feel like Timothy Chalamet. Oh, we're gonna talk about it.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

But I sold a lot. I feel like Timothy Chalamet. Like, I sold a lot of copies.

[A]

Reach out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Lincoln bio.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I feel like it's crazy that Instagram hasn't figured out the whole link in bio thing.

[B]

Well, now it's like, stories. Yeah.

[A]

But, like, the fact that you can put a link in your caption and it takes you to safari.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It feels so archaic. Link in my profile. Ben recently launched his sub stack.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. Yeah.

[A]

Which has been. Apparently, that's, like, what you do in the food space. Like, if you are, like, a food creator and you write cookbooks, like, you also have a substack for, like, your free recipes. Like, anything you post online, like, are they always free?

[B]

I thought that was very generous of him. I follow some creators who I feel like I have to pay.

[A]

You know Aina has a substack. Do you know that? Just 600,000 subs, as Ben calls it. Subs.

[B]

Wow. It's like Patreon.

[A]

It's like Patreon. Yeah. But I think in the food space, a lot of people make it for free.

[B]

Podcasters, we go to Patreon.

[A]

Because you can't always be selling your recipes, like, in the form of a cookbook. You should also be giving them away for free. So Ben has recently launched his substack. I will say, like, we get into bed now, and, like, I'm reading Ben's, like, working on his substack. Like, it's insane how, like, literary and evolved we are. Like, okay, last night, we, like, rotted in bed for four hours and watch Love Story, but more Love Story. There was one more episode. It was the wedding, which is kind of like the climax, you know? You know, her famous wedding dress. Like, everyone thinks they're Carolyn was set when they get married these days. And a slick back bun. And I have to say, it was probably the worst episode. It. I felt like, when is this piece of gonna end? And it kept fading to black. And I was like, thank God. And then it was like picking back up in the back of a pickup truck. It was so bad. And I. I don't know if it's just, like, me coming to this realization or the. The amount that we talk about it being factually incorrect. It's like, so why am I watching this, like, fake in factual, like, fictional? It feels so random and stupid, and I'm really hating it. Like, I don't even know if I'll finish it. That's how bad I feel like it is.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And the wedding was really, like, not good. And if. And it's a big if. If even anything about the wedding is true. My God, her and John are so fudgeing annoying. Like, you're being so late to your wedding, you make all these Kennedys drive out in a pickup truck in the middle of, like, nowhere to sit in an air conditioning. List church. It's not even a church. It's a square box. Like, it's a shed. And you're just sitting there because there's not a zipper on your dress. Like, are you for real? That can't be real.

[B]

It honestly can't expect that. It isn't. No.

[A]

The most interesting part was, like, how she decided to go for, like, Narcisso Rodriguez, who was like, her friend versus Calvin Klein.

[B]

Oh, and in the. In the episode I just watched, she's like, in the apartment with her friend Narcy or whatever. That's Narciso Rodriguez figured. And they were, like, trying to, like, allude to stuff. And also the way they were engaging with each other, like, was just really annoying me.

[A]

I guess it was a really big deal that she. I don't think at the time that she got married, she had just left her job. But the fact that she didn't wear a Calvin Klein dress, which is like, she's so Calvin Klein.

[B]

Right? Yeah.

[A]

He did introduce them. He also really believed in her and championed her. Like, it was kind of a huge slap in the face. But I guess, like, it's supposed to be admirable that she, like, worked with a lesser known designer. I don't know her, like, her friend. I have no idea.

[B]

Oh, my God. The scene where John. Do you remember the scene where he, like, pulls up to their apartment, her apartment, and she's like, with Narcy in her bedroom and they're like, falling on top of each other, like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Being weird.

[A]

No. And also, I don't know if this is true either, but she does opt to make Carolyn Kennedy, Caroline Kennedy, her maid of honor instead of her own sister just because the Kennedys are so upset about their, like, small, random wedding. It's not a real Kennedy wedding. And Caroline's, like, being mean because she feels excluded, so she makes her sister in law her. Like, if that's true, we need to stop stanning Carolyn Bessette. Like, she's the one. Talk about not being a girl's girl. Like, that's fudgeing. Crazy.

[B]

Well, it's probably not true.

[A]

And Carolyn Kennedy was so awful to her. Like, really awful. And, like, that's her maid of honor, and things go to shit, of course. And who steps in? The real sister.

[B]

It's probably not true.

[A]

Who knows? With this show, like, I can't. It's not good. Can't wait for next week, you know? But actually, it's, like, starting to, like, lose its luster.

[B]

Do we have a lip gloss?

[A]

Do I have a lip gloss?

[B]

Of course I do. I could use a little gloss.

[A]

Hang on, hang on. Okay, I have options.

[B]

I expect that it won't have plump, but.

[A]

No, it will not have plump. First, I have, like, a summer Fridays bomb.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Always.

[B]

I would have taken that, like, but now I just want to see what you're.

[A]

If you're looking for hydration, I have, like, a la Mer.

[B]

I'm not looking to use my finger.

[A]

I love this. This is more of, like, a lipstick gloss. And then I have a. This is a fenty. Wait, wait, hold on. I have one more that I think.

[B]

Oh, wow. Wow. What the.

[A]

You've come to the right place.

[B]

The fenty gloss.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

But I want to try that one. I could use a little more color.

[A]

Yes, yes, yes. This is a fenty, like, lip diamond balm or whatever.

[B]

It's the diamond of the season.

[A]

Oh, and then if you want this, I also have.

[B]

I love.

[A]

Oh, you actually need to get that. Oh, excuse me. Put that on my side. Let me use a little.

[B]

Let me use a little again.

[A]

Shout out to my makeup artist, Carla, who was in my dream last night. Oh, my God. I just remembered, at my ma. Sister's wedding, she put on this lip that was so stunning, and I just had to purchase it. Oh, it's my.

[B]

I have my sister, Caroline Kennedy.

[A]

Literally, I would never. I just have.

[B]

You guys. 2026 card is coming out soon. Everyone's like.

[A]

Okay. I just want to say everyone's like, the 2026 cards coming out. They've been saying that for two months.

[B]

It's always been April.

[A]

And how does that make sense when the 2026 card come out in January?

[B]

I'm not mad because, like, I got to enjoy the 2025 card.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And now I'm ready for 2026.

[A]

I feel, you know, like. I feel like, you know how, like, young kids these days are, like, addicted to gambling on their phones. I'm, like, addicted to playing mahjong, and, like, we don't play enough. We don't know. Well, I do play a lot on my phone. But it's just to get by, you know, we don't play enough.

[B]

Yeah. What's the cadence that you guys are all playing at? Like, I actually feel like we're playing a lot. Probably twice a week too much. Twice a week? Yeah, on average. On a. On a slow week.

[A]

Like, we didn't play this weekend at all.

[B]

But how often are other people playing?

[A]

Well, I think that mahjong in our community is, like, an older lady game. And these are people who are retired. I think they play every day. They go to, like.

[B]

No, but I have the swirlies. Like, everyone's playing mahjong right now. Like, young girls.

[A]

Yeah, Moms.

[B]

Everyone's playing. So, like, how often are you guys playing to the swirlies?

[A]

My friends in New York play, like, once or twice a week at night. Okay.

[B]

Yeah, I can't play at night. Like, my brain is mush.

[A]

I'm also uninterested. Like, I have substacks to write. And if you want to know why Ben Subsack was written so well, like,

[B]

I. I have, like, muffins to make. I mean, muffins. Last night, like, God, I made egg bites. Oh, look at us.

[A]

Yeah. I'm, like, so culinary, it's insane.

[B]

Did you see what I sent you about, like, bone marrow for babies?

[A]

Yeah. Like, I am in the market for recipes, so, like, thanks. For the real.

[B]

I guess I'm gonna do that one when my time comes.

[A]

All right, so make me some. I'm not buying bones.

[B]

Like, buying bones. Roasting them, harvesting the marrow, and then whipping it into, like, a custard, like, dish.

[A]

Yeah, I'm gonna stick with my, like, broccoli cheddar pancakes. But.

[B]

But bone marrow apparently has, like, everything.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Brain density. So make it off the charts. I'll make it for you and Kruble.

[A]

Like, that's insane.

[B]

And cruise,

[A]

you guys.

[B]

Gray oven.

[A]

Have I updated everyone that Ruby's new name is Dewey Finn?

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah. Named after his father's hero, Dewey Finn from School of Rock. Jackie's what?

[B]

Rui.

[A]

Well, that's how it happened. Rui. Phooey. Dewey Finn.

[B]

Yeah, for me, that's how it happens. He's gray oven and moving. Yeah, he's moving and gray oven.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so I call him Gray. You know how, like, yes, people.

[A]

Like, literally Morgan. Morgan Stewart. Like, he's so aesthetic with, like, his cool girl name.

[B]

He's not gray. He's gray.

[A]

Yeah. You have to say with the. With the role of the Gray.

[B]

No, no, Gray. You have to add the U at the end.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Great.

[A]

And what are we calling Max?

[B]

Oh, Maxi. I also call Max.

[A]

Oh, God, I hate that. Oh, my Max.

[B]

She.

[A]

I hate that. M A X S H. Maxi. No, he's Luho to me.

[B]

Oh, that's funny. Sometimes he's an Easter.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Max and Easter.

[A]

I love that. I love that. You know what? He is his auntie's nephew. Like, I am a Maxa.

[B]

Yeah. So he could be ner.

[A]

I love that. I really do.

[B]

Ner. Maxi.

[A]

I know. Let's, like, wrap this show up so we can go back to our kids.

[B]

We, like, can't talk about our kids otherwise. What about Namesake? Any famous Maxes we need to have on?

[A]

Oh, I forgot about our podcast Namesake, where we only interview people who share the same names as our children. Of course there are Maxes we need to interview. Maxwell Sheffield. I would love to chat with.

[B]

We could also open up, like, the fictional.

[A]

Yes, if you are an actor named Steven, but you named someone named Max, but you are eligible.

[B]

Someone named Max. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. That's a really good way to get more people on our show.

[A]

I guess we need to interview, like, Ariel Charnis daughter Ruby. Ruby Low.

[B]

We do.

[A]

Yeah. Ruby Fu and Ruby Low.

[B]

When she's of age.

[A]

Yeah. Of course.

[B]

We also need to interview the people who voice Max and Ruby.

[A]

I mean, that's like when the podcast ends. Because we've reached Mecca.

[B]

Yeah. Max and Ruby. Ruby and Max.

[A]

I guess we could dive in.

[B]

I actually do want to talk about so many stories. Probably more than five. I'm just gonna.

[A]

That's fine.

[B]

Order them as I see fit and we'll just, like, let it rip. How about that? How about without further ado to do. To do. It is time for the stories that I'm gonna let rip.

[A]

Actually, if it's okay with you, without further ado to do, I'd much prefer for the Fast 5 stories to just sort of let the chips fall where they may.

[B]

1,000%. I'm going to let the stories fall. Oops.

[A]

Sometimes for Long island, fall where they may. Today's episode of the Toast is brought to you by Weight Watchers. We've all been guilty of joining the New Year New Me train. Well, if you're ready for a totally new way to start a very sustainable journey to managing and tracking your weight health, you will be blown away by what Weight Watchers has to offer. So it's all the expert support that you need to manage a weight loss journey, whether it's using a GLP1 or not. So 72% of Weight Watchers clinic members given the GLP1 companion program say that Weight Watchers clinic help helps minimize weight loss medication side effects. I think a lot of people don't know where to begin when it comes to getting on a GLP1. Weight Watchers is sort of like a tried and true brand in the space and they are now, you know, offering services as offering services for GLP1s and I think it's such a great option to do in conjunction with their program, which just has proven to work. 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[B]

Our first story Timothee Chalamet is facing backlash from the ballet and opera communities after a viral no one cares comment. So Timothy did his CNN Variety Town hall event with Matthew McConaughey a while ago.

[A]

A while ago nobody watched it in full except for the clips where he talked about Kylie because his comment went relatively under the radar until one person

[B]

pointed it out and he said that he didn't want theatrical movie go going to end up like the ballet or opera where artists want to, quote, keep this thing alive even though, quote, no one cares about it anymore. So now all of the international ballet,

[A]

the New York City Ballet being like, buy tickets even though nobody cares. They're obsessed with being the victim.

[B]

The London Royal Ballet and Opera took to Instagram to share footage of footage of its craft, people and performers in response to him saying, every night at the Royal Opera House, thousands of people gather for ballet and opera, for the music, for the storytelling, for the sheer magic of the live performance. If you'd like to reconsider, Timothy, our doors are open, but people are a big mad about this.

[A]

Okay, I just want to say like the reaction is sort of proving his point because like if anybody said like nobody cares about the Hollywood theater, it's like no AMC theater would be like writing it up, like, like crafting an apology. So I know what he's saying. Obviously he's not saying it in a way where he realizes like he's not being careful with his words. But he's saying that like different art forms, you can't compare ballet to moviemaking. The most famous ballerina in the world makes a fraction of what like the worst actor in the world makes. It's because it is about mass appeal. Ballet is more niche. Not every person wants to go see ballet. But like I have a hard time, you know, turning away somebody who doesn't want to watch a movie. Like, it's just more appealing to the masses. I know what he's saying. He said it in a harsh kind of way. And like I'm happy for the ballet. People like having their moment now, but like just also a little bit proving his point.

[B]

But they are having a moment and I think ultimately they should be Thanked in Timothy because of course like ballet and opera are not what they used to be. They used to be the mass form of entertainment until like movies and now how can you compete with cgi?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I do think for a society like we are all suffering because we don't consume arts like that.

[A]

It's much like the book that I read about real life showgirl Evelyn Nesbit. Like people would go to her shows as like the ERAS tour. Like it was the biggest, like what you are entertained by.

[B]

It's like Greatest showman.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

And so he was saying he. Yeah, I, I understand not knocking the art itself. Like these people are incredibly talented and it's honestly a shame that like we've moved away from those it's true forms of art. And I hope that we can move back and maybe like having to have this conversation will encourage more people to support ballet.

[A]

I just want to say, and all the people who are like big mad at Timothy, like I know you don't go see opera. Okay, so just stop.

[B]

And it's like a lot of the opera or ballet, they're, they're very like philanthropic societies and a lot of them like rely on like charitable donations. Like I wonder, you know, dollars and cents, like how much of it is like based on donations and like how much they actually earn.

[A]

It's probably mostly based on donations because if it was based on just like ticket sales, they're not selling a lot of tickets. Now I'm curious, this is sort of Timothy's first time in a bit of scandal. Do you think we'll get like a notes statement? Do you think we'll get a video or like we'll get.

[B]

No, no addressing based on the Timothy that I think I know my limited information about him, like he doesn't care.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I think he said what he said and maybe if he could go back he would have said it more gently.

[A]

But the message, it was just a delivery, not the message. There's nothing wrong with what he said. It was how he said it.

[B]

Well, I think for some people there was something wrong with what he said,

[A]

but I think he's just speaking facts. Not as many people watch ballet now as they did 20 years.

[B]

I don't think he'll regret like, like speaking the facts, but I think the way in which he said it, if he could go back, he would change it. Now is that something that you need to apologize for? I don't really think so.

[A]

I would imagine having a three way conference call with Christiana right now, like that's she's kind of the expert. Maybe she's, like, getting her opinion or he has no idea and doesn't care, like, how big this has become.

[B]

Yeah. I think it's also become, like, a silly little thing.

[A]

Yeah. It's not that serious.

[B]

It's not that serious. I don't think he's gonna lose jobs over this.

[A]

No.

[B]

And I don't think that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He should apologize, because that's just, like, lame. Like, apology culture at its worst.

[A]

No. And save your apology for something you're actually sorry about.

[B]

Right. So I don't know. But I also don't maybe know how big it's become. I just see, like, the memes and jokes Right in the. Texas.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Kyle Richards, Texas, with pk.

[A]

Yeah. It's just memes and jokes.

[B]

And I think it's, like, a funny thing that's net. Net. Good for ballet. Fine arts.

[A]

For the arts. Yeah.

[B]

So I. I think that's good. And I. I support. I wish. I wish there was more ballet and opera to support. You know, I agree. It's beautiful art form.

[A]

You know, I could have been in ballerina.

[B]

But I genuinely, like. I don't know, like, I need to watch the larger conversation because, like, what were they talking about?

[A]

They covered a lot of different topics in that random CNN town hall.

[B]

You want to know something? I was actually so influenced by that CNN town hall that. You know what I did this weekend?

[A]

You watched Interstellar?

[B]

Well, I started it. I think I watched 50 minutes before max woke up. I watched it with Dana on Saturday night. We, like, wanted to watch a flick. She never saw it either. And I. Timothy has been raving how this is the greatest movie ever made. And I'm endeavoring to watch it now. I have, like, three more days on my rental.

[A]

Oh, you gotta act quick.

[B]

I have to act with haste.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'll try and watch a little bit every night, but I really want to watch it. I've heard amazing things a little bit every night.

[A]

I don't believe that's how Timothy intended.

[B]

I know, but, like, Timothy, I'm a new mama for the third time.

[A]

Yeah, just. Just watch it. Yeah, that's right. You got to just sit down. You can't do it. I feel like you're not going to like it as much as Timothy wants

[B]

you to like it. But I actually think I paused at a good part because they're, like, in space. Spoiler alert. And it's going to take two years to reach their destination. Not a spoiler. I barely started the movie.

[A]

I Just feel like you're spoiling a lot for me.

[B]

No, I, I paused right before like the two year gap. So now I'm like having this big gap so by the time I turn it back on, it'll be more realistic that it's two years later.

[A]

Well, why don't you just wait two years for like the full real life experience?

[B]

That's probably what's gonna wind up happening 1,000%. I'm gonna lose my 399.

[A]

Oh, well, that's actually happened to me twice. I rented two movies since I've been here. Oh my God. I have to tell you. You know what? This turned TV in the bedroom of the place we're staying has become kind of like the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Samsung TV plus, which is like not a thing they have the most turn content. Do you know that Rachel Ray has a show and the whole concept is the same thing. You know, she's a queen of 30 minute meals and that's why she was so successful. Like mothers everywhere just like whipping up meals, not afraid to use store bought whatever. So she like reiterated that concept. But it's clear she doesn't own the name 30 Minute Meals because it's Rachel Ray's meals and minutes.

[B]

Minutes.

[A]

And they're all like 25 to 30 minutes. And it's literally like a vlog. She films it in her home kitchen. Her husband sits on a chair by the bar. Like, it's just, it is the weirdest format. She's the craziest person.

[B]

I kind of like that because on 30 minute meals, like there's commercials. I feel like things were prepped for her. Like nothing's prepped. I like that. It's like, it's not fair to call it a 30 minute meal when the recipe calls for chopped onions, chopped carrots, and it's like, like, no, she's chopping it right there, factoring it into this. So true.

[A]

No, no, it's. And she does not stop yapping. It's probably a 10 minute meal. She doesn't shut the up. She just like knows everything and it's like we don't care like tomatillo or tomato, just like tell me which one to use. You know, she's so chatty. And her husband, they're like, they're kind of boozy. So like every. He's there to make a cocktail for what she drink, for what she cooks, and they're just always like cocktailing it up. She's so nutty. I feel like she's drinking like, before, during, and after. Like, she's just so nutty. And she literally, like, she burned the whole me meal. And so it's like very vlog style. It's not tailored. And it's just like, she.

[B]

That's what people want these days. Authenticity.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

No.

[A]

And you know how, like, every cooking show, they block out, like, all the labels of whatever they're using, which is kind of annoying. She doesn't give a. Like, those labels on everything. Her kitchen is a mess. There's, like, mail in the background.

[B]

That's realistic. That's what people want to see.

[A]

It's a Samsung TV plus exclusive piece of content. It's the craziest thing. And they're just like, slinging drinks, burning everything. But, you know, she's making a nice meal.

[B]

My Samsung TV plus go to show right now. That comes on when I turn on my TV for the last, like, couple weeks has been Dawson's Creek.

[A]

Never seen it.

[B]

Me neither. It's before our time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like Carolyn Bessette of shows.

[A]

Literally.

[B]

Yeah. Like, she was watching Dawson's Creek.

[A]

She definitely wasn't. She was too busy, like, chain smoking and ruining her sister's life.

[B]

I'm cracking.

[A]

She was set, sister. That scene really upset me.

[B]

Timothy's in about a hot water. We'll see how we navigate.

[A]

He kind of needed a little edge. Don't you feel like this makes him a little sexier? Like he was just too beloved?

[B]

Yeah, but, like, this is so such a non scandal. Like, you've offended, like, the highbrow art. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

No, but it's a good scandal. Like he needed something.

[B]

And then of course, people are, like, making it. Like, how are you going to put down live performance when it's the only job I can't take?

[A]

People will make anything about AI.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you just tell that to my AI generated cheddar broccoli egg bite recipe. Okay, when you say AI, it's not helping anyone.

[B]

Are you ready for our next story, which is some other major news that has become major over that I'm obsessed

[A]

with so going viral.

[B]

Kelsey's going viral because TMZ put out an article. They just.

[A]

And they put it out in their, like, sort of standard TMZ aesthetic, which is always. They break news like, someone died, somebody

[B]

gave birth, somebody's getting divorced.

[A]

Like, there. You know, they have an office down at the courthouse, as Kelsey says. So, like, I was like, oh, my God. I. When I first saw just like, the sheer headline, I'm like, donna Kelsey died. Like, they're so drama with their red and black alert.

[B]

But no, Donna Kelsey is renovating her Florida home. So the news is that Tracen and Travis's Trace and Travis. Travis. Donna is glowing up her Florida pad. She's in the middle of a home renovation, TMZ has learned, according to official records filed last month. So this is where they're getting in. Taylor's future mother in law appears to be redoing her two bed, two bath, 1,430 foot square foot pad in Florida.

[A]

Where?

[B]

Orlando.

[A]

I wonder why she has a place in Orlando.

[B]

Maybe she likes Diz.

[A]

I could see her actually being a dizzy doll.

[B]

1000 and I feel like whenever I feel like Jason's like taking his daughters there a bunch, especially when they win

[A]

the super bowl always comes.

[B]

So maybe like Donna's like, maybe that's where they stay. Yeah. The documents show Donna hired a company to replace.

[A]

This is insane. Six stories at the home when celebrities are talking about like how they have no privacy like they do compared to Donna Kelsey. Like why, why was this written up? And then people's reactions to it is what made it an even bigger story. Like it might have just gone by the way's head, but this is some crappy read about in like life and style.

[B]

It's just like mindless news. And then people reacted to it like as they should, just being like, well, how can I sleep at night knowing this?

[A]

Right?

[B]

And it's hysterical. Now it's like world news that Donna Kelce is renovating her. Her, her condo.

[A]

I hope she sort of cashes in on this big moment and maybe like gets a Raymore and Flanagan commercial or does like an HGTV miniseries.

[B]

1000 because now I need to see the condo. Like, show me the nine windows.

[A]

And you know what? That's my humble queen living in a two bedroom condo.

[B]

Six doors.

[A]

And that's not renovating, just so, you know, replacing windows and doors. I feel like in Florida with the hurricanes, like you sort of have to every X amount of years. So it sounds like she's just doing some routine maintenance on her condo. And yet here we are discussing it as if it's world news.

[B]

It is. It really, really is. I hope she shares before and afters.

[A]

I would love that. Does Donna Kelsey even have an Instagram?

[B]

I feel like she does.

[A]

I feel like it's like run by like a team.

[B]

I would love a transition reel.

[A]

I would love a transition reel set

[B]

to maybe a little us. Just.

[A]

Just an idea.

[B]

Just give it to us. And you know, she likes to give the people what they want. She's like such a pop culture girly.

[A]

And one thing about Donna, she's. And I think it's why people like her so much. She's very regular, you know, and, like, that's what regular folks do. They make transition reels.

[B]

So those were the big stories of the weekend. Donna Kelsey renovating her condo or house. And I think condo, yeah. I don't know why I think. But I think. And Timothy sort of water himself into trouble. Are you ready for our next bit of news, which is some crime in Los Angeles first? I am. Rachel Zo's home was hit by burglars this weekend. So Rachel Zo was in Las Vegas for the opening of Zero Bond. Las Vegas, and her home was burglarized early Sunday morning while she was really

[A]

quickly town, you know, Rachel Zoe was in Vegas for the Zero Bunch. Did you know what crew she was with?

[B]

No.

[A]

She was with the Naders and Pippa from Tell Me Lies. Like, that was.

[B]

Oh, I saw the Naders with Pippa. Yeah.

[A]

And Rachel Zoe was a part of that crew too. And I knew that Rachel Zoe and Brooke's daughter were friends because I feel like they recently hung out out, but I didn't, like, know that was happening. And I'm just kind of obsessed with that crew. Like, how does the three of them get. Get together?

[B]

And they're saying Alex Earl and Tom Brady were there too. I saw that noodling. I saw that at Seth's Halloween party.

[A]

Yeah, I saw that too at Chris. I'm glad she's having fun. I feel like the fling has run its course.

[B]

I'm personally, like, ignoring it now. I'm not ignoring until they, like, step out together. Like, of course they go to the same parties. They're on the same circuit every time they're seen together. I don't believe it. She's still crying over Braxton. Like.

[A]

I know, I know. He's definitely just, like, obsessed with her.

[B]

You think so?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what? I don't. I mean, I don't. I don't think so.

[A]

I do. I think he's, like, losing sleep, like, thinking about this young, hot thing.

[B]

I think, like, Olivia said, like, he's, like, mentoring her.

[A]

Oh, my God. You and Olivia, like delusional queens.

[B]

Yeah, he's mentoring her.

[A]

No, she's like, the weekend and Angelina Jolie were meeting for business.

[B]

She didn't say that he's mentoring her, actually. She said that she thought that they could relate to each other being the

[A]

best at what they do. Also an amazing point. Olivia has never said anything in factual like, that's my queen right there.

[B]

Wait, so here's the story. Rachel Zoe's home was burglarized. TMZ has told her. Alarm company received an activation alert and the alarm company quickly notified police. Patrol units in the neighborhood responded and spotted two male suspects leaving the property. TMZ is told one of those suspects is in custody.

[A]

Good. That never happens.

[B]

That never happens.

[A]

Don't you feel like her home wouldn't have been robbed if she wasn't a real housewife of Beverly Hills? It's literally a rite of passage. We've had got Teddy, we've got Kyle, we've now got Rachel Zoe. I feel like we have Kathy Sutton. That both of their houses were burglarized over Bravo Con this year. It's insane.

[B]

It's really insane.

[A]

And I feel like if you're. I don't know why they go for like, oh, Dorit, sorry, I forgot to mention her. I don't know why, like, they go for reality stars more than they go for, like, traditional celebrities, but maybe it's because reality stars are always telling people where they are.

[B]

Instagram. Ye. Yeah.

[A]

And unfortunately, I just feel like we're gonna start seeing, like, reality stars who are, like, of, you know, means not being, you know, posting in real time anymore. If I was, I would never, like, never.

[B]

Yeah, it's. It's so crazy. I'm glad that they caught someone because

[A]

I know that also never happens. They never caught the guys who did. Doritz. Right.

[B]

They never catch anyone who does anything.

[A]

It's so true.

[B]

Also, did they get anything, I mean, talk about, like, unclear what they got if they got.

[A]

Talk about stumbling upon, like, treasure.

[B]

Yeah. Also, more crime in Beverly Hills news. Rihanna's mansion was hit by gunfire on Sunday. Early Sunday morning while she was home.

[A]

A third while she was home.

[B]

Yeah. A 30 year old woman was arrested Sunday. Early Sunday morning after 5. So like 1:20am no, actually, hold on. After firing several shots with a rifle at Rihanna's mansion while the singer was allegedly inside her house. La LAPD responded to the report of the shooting at 1:20pm Sunday and quickly took the suspect into custody. One bullet reportedly pierced a wall of the home. Photos from the scene showed yellow police tape outside the singer's home. LA authorities were also seen closing off the street near her property.

[A]

Oh, my God, we're never getting that album now. I just want to let you know, she's not giving the fans anything like, this is the price of fame. Literally, her home with her. Where her children live, being shot at with guns. Oh, my God. That's insane. I didn't even hear about this. I think those LAPD working overtime this weekend.

[B]

I mean, I think every weekend.

[A]

I think every weekend, too. That's crazy.

[B]

Published last night, so that's why you probably didn't hear about it.

[A]

That's like. I feel like there are a couple of things that, like, if you're a celebrity, you sort of expect to happen to you. Like stalkers, robberies. Gunshot. Like, that's insane. I'm like, she must be freaking.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She's also such a private celebrity, and. But she has, like, a lot of different homes, so, like, it's even freakier to know that, like, this person knew you were home.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because she's not somebody who, like, who's,

[B]

like, posting on Instagram.

[A]

Not only that, she's not somebody who gets paparazzi, like, all the time. Like, we know when she's in New York because it's, like, a big deal, but, like, nobody knows where she is, like, most of the time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, with Taylor, I feel like people always know where she is. That must be so scary.

[B]

Yeah. Really, really crazy. The outlet also reported that the police dispatch for the incident noted approximately 10 shots being fired at the house, which came from a vehicle across the street. Street from the house.

[A]

Like, who would try to kill Rihanna?

[B]

Like, seriously sped off in a white Tesla.

[A]

You said it was a. A woman.

[B]

Yeah. I'm glad they caught someone.

[A]

Yeah. Again.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my God. That is so scary.

[B]

So scary.

[A]

People are deeply, like, deeply unwell. Today's episode of the Toast is brought to you by Quince. These days, we are all about quality over quantity, especially in our closets. If it's not well made, if it's not versatile, it's really just not worth it. And that's why I love Quince. The fabrics feel elevated, the cuts are thoughtful, and the pricing actually makes sense. I'm obsessed with seeing this trend on Tick Tock, where, like, young people are being more thoughtful about what they purchase. And everything they bring into their closet is, like a capsule wardrobe item. It's more high quality, it's built to last. And Quince is an amazing resource if you're looking to build a wardrobe of clothes that aren't disposable, that aren't poorly made, that aren't unraveling after one wear. Quince makes high quality wardrobe staples. 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[B]

The aforementioned Brooks Nader spotted getting friendly with Kevin Costner in Las Vegas. Vegas. Big weekend in Vegas at the aforementioned

[A]

Zero Bond launch at the Win. And I just want to say, like, I know this is crushing to Luann de Lesseps because it's sort of like the final nail in the coffin of what could have been. Luanne.

[B]

I don't think Luann stays down long. Like, she put it out there. Kevin Costner. It didn't happen. On to the next.

[A]

Whenever I see him, I think about how, like, the perfect woman is out there for him. Like, I think about that a lot. I can't think of anything, anything other than Luanda Costner when I see Kevin Costner. Now, having said that, I'm obsessed with this. And I know everyone's like, you know, but she's 20. Like, I don't give a fuck. One thing about Brooke Snader is, like, she's in charge. And I just know he was dazzled by her.

[B]

Brooks Nader knows her own mind.

[A]

So true.

[B]

So whatever she chooses to do, she's an eldest daughter.

[A]

Like, you know, you can't tell her what to do.

[B]

Yeah. She's over 25.

[A]

She's divorced, frontal lobe developed.

[B]

She knows her mind.

[A]

I'm obsessed with this. Now, I don't think this is, like, the great love of her life. I doubt she really entertained it because, like, when you can get any man in the world, like, Kevin Costner actually doesn't do it when, like, I heard

[B]

he's kind of an arse.

[A]

Yeah. I've heard he's a dick.

[B]

Even. I feel like, not even. Like, we've heard it. Like, everyone. He fights with everyone.

[A]

It's, like, confirmed.

[B]

Not on Yellowstone.

[A]

It's confirmed. Yeah. Yeah. Having said that, I could see him, like, being so obsessed with her.

[B]

She, like, likes, like an RC guy. It's true.

[A]

Glab.

[B]

Yeah. She, like, famously said, I want to dance at the biggest douchebag on Dancing with the Stars.

[A]

Having said that, I'm not, like, I'm obsessed with this moment, but I. I hope it ends here. I don't think that this is, like, the next big thing.

[B]

It's not really a word I use. What the word I just said.

[A]

D bag.

[B]

Yeah. I was quoting the great Brooks Nader.

[A]

Of course. What is the actual item? Like, a douchebag.

[B]

Oh, please. Please. No.

[A]

It's a perennial device, Right?

[B]

Yeah, but I never call anyone that word.

[A]

Me neither. It's. I mean, we're not in a sorority. I feel like if you're, like, talking about, like, frat boys, you use that word. It's like, a young person's word.

[B]

Yeah. Not even. No, I feel like it's just, you know, you either use it or you don't.

[A]

Okay. When you, like, what's the equivalent? Like, what do we say? Like, he's such an ass.

[B]

I think I just said ours.

[A]

I say, like, he's such a dick.

[B]

I guess I don't really say that either.

[A]

You don't really say much, like, in terms of. I don't much in terms of, like, profanity.

[B]

In terms of, like, he's not a good guy.

[A]

Okay. He's a good guy.

[B]

I like that he's a bad guy.

[A]

So just want to say loving this moment, hoping it ends here.

[B]

Yeah. And they were just, like, spotted sitting next to each other talking. But when two single people are doing that, like, of course you wonder what's brewing.

[A]

I just love Brooks. Like, I am obsessed with, like, the fame of Brooks Nader, you know? Like, she's just doing it, right. She's having fun. I think she's making a lot of money.

[B]

Yeah. So we'll see what. What happens betwixt the two.

[A]

Two lovers.

[B]

Our next story. Alex Earle was also in Vegas, but this isn't about her jaunt of Vegas. She's teasing some tough conversations with her stepmom in her new reality show. So Alex Earl did a vlog talking about everything, you know, in her life, but also what fans can expect from her reality show that's coming. She touched on what it's been like to lose control of the editing process with the show, admitting she's feeling nervous about how she and her relationships will be portrayed. She said the parts where I'm, like, saying nice things or, like, retracting what I'm saying, I'm like, that's definitely probably not getting in the edit.

[A]

Right?

[B]

So I think it's just scary how things can be edited and portrayed. That's at least what I've heard from a lot of people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Specifically called out the way that the reality shows filming was impacting her family's relationships with each other. This is really interesting. She said. Said, quote, when there's an issue, you have to go up and talk to them and figure out the issue on the show. Sometimes we'll just sweep things under the rug and we're like, let's not disturb the peace of the family.

[A]

That's not a good TV show.

[B]

It's kind of like, now we're in family therapy. You've really got to talk through all of the issues and, like, have conversations face to face with people. She mentioned that her and her stepmother, Ashley Dupree, had been having a lot of conversations as a result of the filming as well.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I think that. I don't think. Of course, when you think about. About her stepmother, you think about, like, how she came to be her stepmother and the drama beyond it. But it doesn't sound like that's actually with the conversations that they're having. I think that, like, remember when we were reporting on Dancing with the Stars? Like, Ash is just kind of, like, nutty. And, like, when she was posting that stuff, like, kind of making Alex look badly coming for Carrie Anne, like, okay, just like, putting sort of Alex's job in jeopardy and putting Alex in, like, a weird situation. I think it's more situations like that where, like, they're. They're all becoming famous now. And Ashley is, like, a content creator. She has a lot of followers. She does, like, a lot of mom content. She does, like, a lot of conspiracy theories. She's, like, into UFOs or whatever. Whatever. Yeah, but she has a lot of followers. And so, like, with that, it's like, you have to be careful with what you say because, like, yeah, you're a content creator, but you're Alex Earl's stepmom first. And I bet that, like, gets weird for Alex.

[B]

You think that's going to be the bane of their issues on the show.

[A]

Yeah, unless they're sitting down talking about the affair, but that was so long ago. And it seems like they all, like, actually genuinely moved on. I'm the only one still talking about it. So, no, I don't think they're having those types of conversations.

[B]

She said, me and my stepmom have been having a lot of conversations about our relationship, and it's been good. It's been scary. There's also, like, been drama with that. I can't imagine how it all comes together.

[A]

No, I imagine like, if I'm Alex and, like, her stepmom is riding her coattails, like, probably as much as, like, Ashton is, like, Ashton is kind of more popular, but. And she's also, like, posting crazy things

[B]

about just, like, the world and Alex's

[A]

and also Alex's life. And it's like. Like, she. Like, you know what I bet is a storyline. She was doing, like, an outfit with her husband or whatever, and she was saying that, like, I forget what it is, but Alex's dad was wearing this blazer and she was like, I saw Tom Brady wearing it and I bought it for him. Like, things like that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, like that.

[A]

Like, Alex is probably mad at that and she's right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like, you're.

[B]

Well, if they're filming, like, right this minute, I wonder if they'll address the Tom Brady stuff. Also to say, like, that they're not together.

[A]

Yeah. Also when she talks about, like, losing the edit, whatever. I know that her. She announced the show on Netflix. It's in product in partnership with, like, a production company. Dave Grutman, her friend. Like, I don't feel like she's completely cut out of the editing process. She's not, like, totally, like, hands off.

[B]

Yes. But, like, at a certain point.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're gonna have to make a show.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And things might wind up in there that she. She would otherwise not have preferred, but, like, it's gonna be good television.

[A]

I'm sad for the show.

[B]

I am as well. And I think she's doing a good job of, like, making content about the show while filming a show and teasing the show. Because, remember, we said, like, she could run a little, like, you know, spread herself a little thin, like, having to do all this content at the reality show. But I feel like this is a great example of, like, a good way to do it.

[A]

Yeah. But it does feel like a lot. And I haven't seen a lot of her tiktoks recently. Like, with. I feel like she's just doing a lot now. I forgot. Thank you for bringing up TikTok. Do you know that there's, like, a new. There's a new face on Tick Tock? Yeah. Like, if you, like, want to be young and cool, like, there's. You know how, like, when we grew up, it was like the smize. Like, the.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

There's like, a new pose.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's called the pout. And it's not like the pout that we know. Right. It's actually, like, I have a hard time.

[B]

Mary Kate and Ashley. It's like, it's.

[A]

It's an iteration of that, but it's like Gen Z. Mary Kane National. Okay, ready?

[B]

You want to show me a video of it? I'm sorry, what? Show me a video.

[A]

I don't have a video.

[B]

It's just like, who does it? Everyone. Where should I see it?

[A]

Like all the cool girls.

[B]

Like Ash General does it. Let me go look at her.

[A]

I feel like I'm doing it.

[B]

Does Sally do it?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Happy belated birthday, Sally.

[A]

Like this.

[B]

Ashton Earl. Okay, I. Maybe it's like not what?

[A]

You have to try it.

[B]

This, that Ashton's doing, like. No, she's just like dead.

[A]

Yeah, she's not doing anything There.

[B]

This. Well, she's not doing anything.

[A]

Give me the phone. Hold on, let me. I'll find one and then yes, you can recreate it. I'm talking about kids.

[B]

This.

[A]

She's. No, no, no.

[B]

Like, okay, like this.

[A]

No, but like more relaxed.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Here, here, here. You see, it's like a mug and it's really like upper lip heavy.

[B]

And also you got to cleanse your cheeks a little bit because you.

[A]

Yeah, kind of, kind of. It's like you're like doing a little too much. It's like supposed to be a little bit more effortless.

[B]

I'm just learning.

[A]

Yeah, no, no, I'm just giving. I'm just giving tips. It's just, it's very top lip heavy, like, and like it's kind of like you smelled something, you know?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I feel like I'm doing it. No, no, no. I have to say I have to

[B]

see what it looks like in order to tell you if you're doing it. And Ashton doing it with sunglasses on. This is Haley Bieber. Do it.

[A]

I don't know, it's like, it's a little bit more TikTok, you know, it's

[B]

like younger than that. Yeah, well, can't go too young, you know.

[A]

Of course, of course. That wouldn't be very fulfilling of us.

[B]

No, it wouldn't. Our fifth or sixth and final story,

[A]

whatever it may be.

[B]

Dave Portnoy is writing a memoir and the title is here and it's great. Pretty fantastic. So Dave Portnoy posted on his Instagram actually in response to Sophia Franklin, but he also shared that he is writing a book and it's called Cancel me if you can. It's available for pre order. It's coming out in June and I think like he's gonna tell his. I'm assuming it's his story, like his Memoirs.

[A]

I feel like he probably, like, touched

[B]

on Daddy, wherein he would touch on

[A]

that a little bit, but.

[B]

And I. And Sophia's obviously touching on it in hers and talking about Dave, and he's

[A]

kind of using, like, the momentum of her. Sophia's book to promote his own, which is interesting. It is.

[B]

And also his book's coming out first.

[A]

Yeah. In terms of a title.

[B]

So it was, like, time to tell everyone I know.

[A]

In terms of a title. I. All ten out of ten.

[B]

Ten out of ten.

[A]

Ten out of 10. I think it's probably, like, more zoomed out. Like, you know how he started Barstool. Like, we think of him now, like, as modern, but there's so much lore, like. I don't know. I feel like the. The fact that he's sort of using the Sophia Franklin, like. I don't know. I don't know.

[B]

I did. I saw that she. He, like, posted her clip where she was asked something about him, but I couldn't watch with sound and there were no subtitles.

[A]

What she had. She was doing, like a listener Q A People writing in questions about her book. Being like, you're going to talk about Dave por. She's like, yeah, okay.

[B]

And he's gonna talk about her. And I. I don't even know if

[A]

he's really gonna talk about her. Like, it's not really his story to tell. Do you know what I mean? I feel like he'd talk more about Alex.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He could probably mention the caller Daddy thing, but, like, I don't know. I don't need to hear his side.

[B]

And I also feel like one. We've heard his side.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Remember, like, he took over their podcast when they stopped releasing episodes. That's, like, also what blew it up. So, again, I feel like Sophia is the side that we haven't heard entirely yet because she says there's, like, way more. But I look forward to reading both sides. I'll read both of these books.

[A]

Actually, when I went to Barnes and Noble this weekend, I did look in the celebrity memoir section. I was looking for Lisa Rinna's. Maybe it's not out yet because I didn't see it.

[B]

There's no way.

[A]

I know. Is that weird?

[B]

No, I'm sorry. It's out. Like, you think. You don't do this much press for something that hasn't come out yet. Let's see. Was hers. These lips were made for talking.

[A]

It was not in the memoir section. I'm just letting you know it's out. You better believe I'm gonna Talk about it, which is a great title.

[B]

These Lips were Made.

[A]

It's out you. Yeah, I couldn't find it.

[B]

Actually, that's kind of a good title, too. These Lips for. Were Made for Talking.

[A]

She has so many one liners.

[B]

Like, yeah, you better believe I'm going to talk about it. That's kind of, like, chewy one.

[A]

Yeah, it's a little long.

[B]

Read it. I wouldn't.

[A]

I would rate it pretty well. Like, some. For some reason, like, celebrities, like, lose their mind when they name their memoirs and they go so rogue and stupid. At least she's, like, referencing, like, one of her iconic lines. Maybe it's not the line I would have referred to, but, like, it's better than Hope Luck catches Ina. What was that book called?

[B]

Also Doritz, which is unburdened by what has been terrible.

[A]

That's Kamala's book.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What is Ina's title? Like, be Ready when the Luck Happens. Like, that's what I mean. Celebrities lose their fucking minds.

[B]

I know. That's why I never go for the obvious thing. No, but it's hard to see yourself. Like, even if, like, if I had to sit down and, like, choose a name for my memoirs right now, I would have a hard time. But the audience could tell me in two seconds what my memoirs are.

[A]

Pochit Jackie's memoir be named. Let me think. Hold on.

[B]

Memoirs of a Jack. Jacks. Well, this.

[A]

Well, now with this one. But I mean, outside of, like, our running joke.

[B]

Ever wrote a book of memoirs which, like, wouldn't happen, but, like, I would say Memoirs of a Streisand. It would know it would be Memoirs of a Jacks because of the lore. Not just because I think that's a great memoir name, but because actually, not

[A]

a good memoir name.

[B]

Memoirs of a Jacks.

[A]

No, because Memoirs of a Geisha. Like, you need two syllables. Memoirs of a Charity.

[B]

But you didn't.

[A]

No. And when I was titling my book book, at the. At the last minute, somebody was like, but just like, Girl with no job, I'm like, oh, yeah. Like, no.

[B]

And, like, from a publisher's perspective, like, it has recognition.

[A]

Yeah. No, I. I have no regrets about the title of my book. Like, I couldn't get creative with the title, but then the subtext I could have. The beautiful life of a crazy Instagram Thirst monster.

[B]

The crazy beautiful life. Whatever. Not of. Of an Instagram Thursday. Not a crazy Instagram.

[A]

And it should have just taken out Instagram because I thirst on all platforms.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. It's a sign. Of the times. It's a time capsule. Yeah, I love that.

[A]

As it should be. So what should Jackie's title be like? Toast Swirl.

[B]

I feel like there's so many things. See it.

[A]

Rihanna's lingerie company, Savage has an item called the swirly Girly bra or whatever.

[B]

Yeah. Our influence, for sure. I just feel like. Because it's so out there, like, girly. Swirly.

[A]

Swirly. Not girly. Like, sure, if it had been the girly twirly, I would have.

[B]

Girly swirly. Yeah.

[A]

But they just flipped it swirly girly.

[B]

But even if they had the swirly bra, like, we would say, oh, the bra has swirls or whatever. It's swirly and whirly together.

[A]

Correct.

[B]

That's the magic of swirly and girly.

[A]

I thought that was interesting. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, we're just sort of ubiquitous. It is what it is.

[A]

Shaping culture.

[B]

Yeah. Happy to do it. Love to do it.

[A]

It's a story. Oh, memoir.

[B]

Memoirs of a Dave Portnoy.

[A]

Cancel Me if youf can is a great, great title.

[B]

It's really fantastic. Memoirs of a Barstool.

[A]

That would have been good. No, it wouldn't. I like that.

[B]

It would have been just the two of us.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. But I guess then we could, like, go and tell everyone about it. But no, cancel me if you can. Like, Seriously.

[A]

No notes.

[B]

Give him a race.

[A]

I enjoyed those eight stories.

[B]

I did as well. Lots to catch up on on this Mondays.

[A]

I'm still sort of like recovering from the news that Donna Kelce's renovating her home. So sorry if I felt like a little low energy for the second half of the show. It was a lot to take in.

[B]

I do beg and plead that someone make the most moment. Like, camera's up. I need a contracting like Tyler Cameron. Get in there.

[A]

That's what I was thinking.

[B]

Get in there, somebody.

[A]

Tyler Cameron's very busy renovating the Bachelor mansion with host Taisha Adams and Hannah Brown.

[B]

Really? Yeah. I think it's the three of them. And I've. First of all, Hannah Brown is a new toaster.

[A]

Yeah, I saw that.

[B]

Welcome. Second of all, she's been posting. She moved into a new home and she's been posting like a tour while also sharing what she's going to do to every room.

[A]

Home. Home.

[B]

And it's. It's captivating stuff.

[A]

Well, maybe she is on that show then.

[B]

Oh, yeah, she's renovating her own, but she also has, like an ex. Her home right now is really pretty and she's like showing us what she's doing. I thoroughly enjoyed the content. I look forward to seeing some transition reels.

[A]

That's wonderful.

[B]

So welcome, Hannah Brown.

[A]

Yeah. I don't find myself, like, talking a lot about Hannah Brown on this show, so.

[B]

Good. Yeah, of course.

[A]

But, like, when somebody whose name comes up a lot on the show and then I find out that they listen every day, like, that just happened with somebody actually extremely famous. I won't it put up their spot. But we talk about her, like, maybe once every two weeks. And then I found out that she watches every day and, like, I kind of need her to stop. Like, no.

[B]

It's just a hard line to walk.

[A]

It is. Reminds me, of course, of Bobby and OSA from Shadows of Sunset.

[B]

Reminds me, of course, of Philip Phillips. Pug Casa. We're gonna find out.

[A]

Like, we have been offered an interview with Pug Caso. The master singer team reached out. We were like, okay, but like, before we agreed to an interview, like, we need to know who it is. They're like, we can't tell. I'm like, well, what if it's like a baseball player?

[B]

Like, not even that. Like, what if it's somebody who hates us?

[A]

What if it's somebody more likely who we hate? Like, I don't know. I can't. Like, I respect that how serious they take the show, but, like, I can't commit.

[B]

And the fact that they wouldn't even tell us, like, just first of all, like, we're not going to tell anyone. You're part of the show. Like, we're not just telling them. Tell us who it is.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Just fucking tell us who it is.

[A]

They're being kind of narcy, like, literally losing our minds. And you can't even just tell. Like, come on, commit. Like, we're kind of a big show. We can't commit just anyone. But if it's like a not famous person.

[B]

And aside from the interview, just, like, put these girls out of their misery.

[A]

Like, seriously, they shoot horses, don't they?

[B]

Tell us who it is.

[A]

I didn't even read that book. I just, like, know the title and I remember being, like, really shook by it. It's a great title. That is our show. Happy Monday. Hope we've sprung you forward in a meaningful and fulfilling way. Thank you guys so much for listening to the show host the millennial morning show where we deliver the fast side stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as podcasts and our podcast we found so Spotify Public Radio. Real talented we are. Have an amazing day and we'll see you tomorrow.

[B]

Love you. Bye.

[C]

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