The Toast – March 9, 2026: "The Five F's"

Episode Overview

Jackie and Claudia Oshry kick off the week on The Toast dissecting their weekends through the lens of the “Five F’s”: Food, Faith, Family, Friends, and…Findings (intellectual/curiosity). From grappling with the universal pain of daylight savings to playful debates about book choices, children’s literature, and the intersection of pop culture with personal life, the Oshry sisters bring their signature swirl of humor, earnestness, and fast-moving conversation. Key entertainment news ranges from Timothée Chalamet’s ballet backlash to viral updates on Donna Kelce, with detours through reality TV drama, children’s book franchises, home renovations, celebrity crime, and reality stars-turned-authors.

Notable Discussion Points

1. Daylight Savings Struggles & Weekend Recap

00:25 – 05:50

• Mutually despised spring daylight savings:
  • Both hosts bemoan the disruption and share how it cost them sleep and, humorously, “an hour of friendship.”
  • [00:51, A] “The other one where we get an extra hour of sleep—fine, fine. But that means we have to deal with this one where we lose an hour, and they cancel each other out.”
• Debate on the purpose of daylight savings:
  • Jokes about outmoded explanations (“Kids in Alaska,” “for the farmers”), with a modern twist:
    [02:18, A] “But, like, Bill Gates owns all the farms. So what now?”
• Weekend highlights mapped onto the "Five F's":
  • Jackie finished a novel (historical fiction about Evelyn Nesbit), had a cocktail, socialized, went to the beach, and enjoyed Shabbat.
  • Claudia played hostess, had friends and family over, and attended Shabbat dinner.
  • Playful brainstorming over a fifth “F”: “Findings” (for intellectual pursuits), and “Fulfilling” for restful weekends.
  • [05:02, A]: “What am I always saying? Food, faith, family, friends. That’s literally… and then also I need to come up with a word that starts with F that’s like, intellectual.”

2. Children’s Book Talk & Writing Process

06:45 – 08:25

• Jackie shares her foray into children’s literature (Little Blue Truck: Spring Edition—"you can skip it, it sucks") and reveals plans to write a counselor-camper sequel.
• Claudia presses for a timeline and offers to help with childcare to “free up bandwidth.”
• Discussion of the challenges and process behind writing and self-publishing kids’ books—plus a humorous plea for publishers to reach out given their self-made sales success.
  • [08:13, B]: “Proof of concept: we sold many, many copies!”

3. Substack, Cooking, and Content Creation

08:32 – 11:00

• Updates on Ben’s foray into the food Substack world, how modern recipe sharing is evolving, and the cozy domestic routines Jackie and her husband are settling into: “It’s insane how literary and evolved we are… last night, we like, rotted in bed for four hours and watched [Love Story]…”
• Love Story review: “Probably the worst episode… If even anything about the wedding is true, my god, her and John are so fudging annoying…” (10:16-11:04, A)
  • On Carolyn Bessette Kennedy: “If that’s true, we need to stop stanning Carolyn. Like, she’s the one. Talk about not being a girl’s girl.” (12:00, A)

4. TikTok Poses & Lip Gloss Break

12:21 – 14:16

• A typical, charmingly superficial debate about lip gloss options transitions into musings on TikTok trends: discovering and failing to master the new “Gen Z pout.”
  • “It’s very top lip heavy, like, and it’s kind of like you smelled something, you know?” (53:44, A)

5. Mahjong, Motherhood, and Naming Kids

13:42 – 17:20

• Extended riff on young women embracing mahjong and the cadence of Jackie’s group vs. older, retired players.
• Cooking eggs and exploring creative recipes for babies (bone marrow custard, broccoli cheddar pancakes).
• Playful banter on nicknames for their kids and the meta concept for a podcast that only interviews people with their children’s names: “Of course there are Maxes we need to interview. Maxwell Sheffield. I would love to chat with.” (16:43, A)

Main Pop Culture and News Stories

1. Timothée Chalamet vs. Ballet & Opera (23:52 – 28:48)

• Recap: Timothée’s “no one cares about ballet and opera” comment at a CNN Variety Town Hall draws backlash from international arts institutions.
  • Jackie: “The reaction is sort of proving his point… but I know what he’s saying. Obviously, he’s not being careful with his words.” (24:51, A)
  • Claudia: “They are having a moment, and ultimately they should be thanking Timothée because ballet and opera… are not what they used to be.” (25:38, B)
• Nuanced debate about elitism, funding, societal value of the arts, and whether Timothée will apologize for the “non-scandal”:
  • “It’s not that serious… he shouldn’t apologize, because that’s just, like, lame. Like, apology culture at its worst.” (27:53, B)
• Segues into how the era of “live performance” is overshadowed by accessibility, CGI, and modern mass appeal.

2. Donna Kelce’s Condo Renovation Goes Viral (32:57 – 35:14)

• TMZ headlines that Travis and Jason Kelce’s mother, Donna, is renovating her modest two-bedroom Florida condo.
  • Jackie: “When celebrities are talking about how they have no privacy, they do compared to Donna Kelsey.” (34:07, A)
  • The viral moment and Internet reaction (“How can I sleep at night knowing this?”) is critiqued and celebrated as “mindless news.”
• Call for Donna to embrace her moment with a possible HGTV miniseries or furniture commercial.
• “That’s my humble queen living in a two-bedroom condo.” (34:53, A)

3. LA Crime: Rachel Zoe & Rihanna Burglarized (35:14 – 40:54)

• Rachel Zoe’s home is burglarized during a Vegas trip, the latest in a “rite of passage” for Beverly Hills reality-adjacent celebrities; first successes in catching suspects.
  • “It never happens. Don’t you feel like her home wouldn’t have been robbed if she wasn’t a Real Housewife?” (37:58, A)
• Rihanna’s LA home shot at while she and her family were inside.
  • “Who would try to kill Rihanna? Like, seriously." (40:42, A)
• Reflections on fame, privacy for public figures, and increased celebrity vulnerability.

4. Las Vegas Social Sightings (45:28 – 48:20)

• Brooks Nader and Kevin Costner “friendly” in Vegas—particularly disappointing to Luann de Lesseps who once publicly thirsted for Costner.
  • Claudia: "Brooks Nader knows her own mind... whatever she chooses to do, she's an eldest daughter." (46:16, B)
  • “Not the great love of her life… when you can get any man in the world, Kevin Costner actually doesn’t do it.” (46:29, A)
• Alex Earle also in Vegas; teases tough edits and “family therapy” in her reality show, especially with her stepmom, Ashley Dupre.
  • “Sometimes we’ll just sweep things under the rug and we’re like, let’s not disturb the peace of the family… now we’re in family therapy.” (49:02, B)

5. Book & Memoir Title Discourse (54:25 – 59:35)

• Dave Portnoy’s upcoming memoir Cancel Me If You Can is praised for its title and anticipated “tell-all” nature.
  • “In terms of a title—ten out of ten.” (55:09, B)
• Wry comparison to other celebrity memoirs (Lisa Rinna’s These Lips Were Made for Talking, Dorit’s Unburdened by What Has Been, Ina’s “Luck Happens” title).
• Reflections on the art and agony of titling a memoir.

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Daylight Savings Side-Effects:
  • “I lost an hour of friendship. Dana said that she literally would have come a different weekend if she knew.” (02:25, B)
• Children’s Book Critique
  • “I just want to say you can skip it. Like, it fucking sucks.” (07:23, A)
• On Pop Culture Scandals:
  • “He kind of needed a little edge. Don’t you feel like this makes him a little sexier? Like he was just too beloved?” (32:17, A)

Timeline of Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-------------|------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:25–05:50 | Daylight savings, weekend “Five F” check-in | | 05:53–08:25 | Book talk, children’s books, kids’ lit writing process | | 08:32–11:00 | Substack, couples’ routines, critiques of Love Story series | | 12:21–14:16 | Lip gloss trials, TikTok “Gen Z pout” | | 13:42–17:20 | Mahjong, motherhood, children's nicknames, fictional podcast idea| | 23:52–28:48 | Timothée Chalamet ballet controversy, societal art consumption | | 32:57–35:14 | Donna Kelce’s viral home renovation news | | 35:14–40:54 | Rachel Zoe’s home burglary, Rihanna’s house shooting | | 45:28–48:20 | Brooks Nader & Kevin Costner in Vegas, Alex Earle reality show | | 54:25–59:35 | Celebrity memoirs & book titles |

Tone & Style

Upbeat, whirlwind banter with snark, heart, and a deeply millennial lens. Jackie and Claudia oscillate between friendly teasing and sharp pop culture commentary, channeling the vibe of “sisters on a couch catching up on everything.”

Summary in a (Butter) Toast:
The Oshrys blend the personal (“Five F’s” self-inventory, book clubs, mahjong, motherhood micro-updates) with pop culture’s biggest, quirkiest stories. They approach everything from Timothée Chalamet’s art world comments to Donna Kelce’s window replacements with a rare mix of wit and relatability. By the end, you’ll be in on TikTok’s latest face trend, down a recommended beach read (or not), and ready to debate whether “Cancel Me If You Can” is the perfect memoir title.