The Toothless Wonder: Tuesday, November 11th, 2025

Summary

The Toast – "The Toothless Wonder"

Podcast: The Toast (Dear Media)
Hosts: Jackie & Claudia Oshry (Claudia co-hosting with husband Ben)
Air Date: Tuesday, November 11, 2025

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Episode Overview

This Tuesday’s episode brings Claudia together with her husband Ben, offering a hilarious and revealing catch-up in Jackie’s absence. The show is an energetic swirl through five “fast five” celebrity stories, intertwined with playful marital banter, and Claudia’s epic tale of surviving a root canal. Listeners are also treated to "Dear Toasters," an advice segment, where Claudia and Ben weigh in with their distinct perspectives. The episode showcases a blend of celebrity gossip, candid relationship talk, wellness trends, product recommendations, and authentic personal storytelling.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Weather and Location Banter

• The couple opens with weather shocks: it’s unusually cold and frosty in Florida (00:39), and snowing in New York, which Claudia is “devastated to be missing” (00:52).
• Ben offers the classic New Yorker’s take on snow: “Snow in New York is fun for, like, one second, and then it turns to slush and then you’re like, this place is absolutely vile.” (00:55 — Ben)

2. Friday’s Unexpected Hosts & Internet Comments

• Last Friday, both regular hosts were absent for the first time. Ben and Olivia hosted, which led Claudia to nervously check comments.
• Claudia’s takeaway: “I never got comments so nice about my own show in my whole fucking life.” (02:27 — Claudia)
• Ben brags about their seamless banter, likening it to a “ping pong match” (02:34), brushing off suggestions that he and Olivia should start a cooking podcast.

3. Bert Kreischer Content Mansion & Inspiration Talk

• Ben recalls his excitement at Bert Kreischer's filmed cooking show (03:12–03:51), gushing about Bert’s “content mansion” and kitchen.
• Claudia points out, “You give credit to Bert Kreischer, but I give credit to Bert Kreischer’s wife because, you know, she was like, well, you’re not cooking in my house with all these. Totally buy the house next door, Burt.” (03:54)
• They muse on their celebrity inspirations: Stanley Tucci and Ina Garten come out as gold standards for Ben (04:36).

4. The Wild Root Canal Saga

(Timestamped Subsection: 05:19 – 11:08)

• Claudia details her recent dental crisis which started with a tooth falling out while wrapping a gift at Bloomingdale’s months ago (“a part of my tooth did fall out at Bloomingdale’s,” 05:35) and ended in a surprise root canal.
• The experience was unexpected, as she went in for a suspected cavity and was immediately told: “This is one of the worst things I’ve ever seen. It’s going to be a root canal. And I said, right now?... If I left, I was never coming back. So I was like, you know what? Fuck me up, fam.” (08:44)
• Claudia shares her pain post-procedure, with Ben unhelpfully but comically observing: “You were screaming in pain.” (09:58)
• Claudia’s pride: “I’m not getting enough credit for raw dogging a root canal. Not only did, you know, no headphones. Yes. No TV.” (10:29)
• The couple riffs on dental hygiene: Claudia is “so meticulous about oral hygiene,” but genetics and pregnancy contributed to her issues—she hates the stigma that cavities = lack of cleanliness (11:04).

5. Tongue Scrapers, Wellness, and Oral Hygiene Rivalry

(11:56–14:46)

• Ben recently starts tongue scraping after Claudia bought him a scraper “years ago,” which irks Claudia (“to hear you waxing on like you invented tongue scraping is so annoying.” 13:02)
• Notable quote: “Claudia in another life was a police dog. Let me tell you. Like, she can smell what the neighbor four floors up is cooking for dinner.” (13:17 — Ben)
• Ben claims, “The tongue scraper was invented over 3,000 years ago. The first toothbrush … the 1700s,” insisting on the importance of scraping (14:14).

6. The Gucci T-shirt That Would Not Die: A Marital Anecdote

• Claudia reminisces about a funny gift fail—a limited-edition size-medium Gucci T-shirt that never fit Ben. They tried (and failed) to consign it. (06:13–07:12)

7. "Fast Five" Celebrity Stories

1. Hilary Duff’s Mini Tour (23:25)

• Claudia is unimpressed, Ben is a fan but cautious: “I was ready to go until I heard intimate. Yeah, intimate to me means probably acoustic. I’m not into that.” (24:36)
• The couple sings “Come Clean,” playfully bickering (25:36).

2. Kris Jenner's Iconic Birthday Bash & Deleted Meghan Markle Photo (27:42)

• Meghan Markle attended and was pictured but the Kardashians deleted the photos—prompting spirited speculation about why. Claudia: “Now it’s no secret that they were there. So why the photos would be removed? It does seem like Meghan or Meghan’s team just reached out and asked for the photos.” (28:38)
• Ben on Harry’s presence: “Sounds like he needs neutrophil.” (30:14)
• General consensus: Trying to erase awkward photos backfires, making it bigger news.

3. Kris Jenner’s Facelift & Party Cost (31:03)

• Claudia and Ben commend Kris’s transparency in crediting her plastic surgeon, Steven Levine, who was the “most popular guy at the party.”
• They discuss the evolving honesty of Kardashian-Jenner family about cosmetic procedures. “People have been begging them for years to be honest with us. They look amazing. We just want to know. We’re not asking to judge, we’re asking because we want to copy it.” (32:46)
• Party estimated price: $4–6.5 million, largely due to Bruno Mars’s performance.

4. Sydney Sweeney’s Flop Film ‘Christie’ (37:04)

• Claudia critiques the strategy: “Not everybody can be good at everything… I would love to say that she's killing it… but a lot of her roles are not good.” (40:10–41:02)
• Ben: “She needs a DiCaprio movie, her and Leonardo something… she needs those roles.” (40:51)

5. Robert Pattinson Would Return to Twilight (41:54)

• Robert Pattinson says he would return as Edward Cullen: “Oh, yeah, definitely… It would be fantastic. I enjoy taking roles from younger actors. I want to be 17 again.” (43:38)
• Claudia, a Twilight superfan, champions its cinematic worthiness: “Not only is it incredible, it is the best acting, writing, cinematic… Twilight is like an exercise in excellent acting, excellent producing, excellent directing, excellent location scouting. Excellent.” (44:09)
• Spirited debate: Ben insists the Batman trilogy is superior, to Claudia’s vehement refusal (44:50).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On internet critics and Friday’s co-hosts:
  “I never got comments so nice about my own show in my whole fucking life.” — Claudia (02:27)

• On enduring a brutal dental procedure:
  “I'm not getting enough credit for raw dogging a root canal. Not only did [I have] no headphones. No TV.” — Claudia (10:29)

• Ben on tongue scraping enlightenment:
  “I started tongue scraping two days ago, and let me tell you, my breath… I'm scraping my tongue and then I'm using my new favorite mouthwash, Swishables. Unbelievable.” (12:17)

• On Kardashians and transparency:
  “People have been begging them for years to be honest with us. They look amazing. We just want to know… we're not asking to judge, we’re asking because we want to copy it.” — Claudia (32:46)

• On Sydney Sweeney’s acting choices:
  “It's like, sometimes it's okay to just have a lane.” — Claudia (40:07)
  “She needs a DiCaprio movie… she needs those roles.” — Ben (40:51)

• On Twilight vs. Batman Trilogy:
  “Not only is it incredible, it is the best acting, writing, cinematic…” — Claudia (44:09)
  “Sorry, Pattinson, that was not a good Batman… it's not your fault.” — Ben (44:55)

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"Dear Toasters" Advice Segment (Principal Cases & Timestamps)

(53:11 – 62:15)

• 1. Potluck Kid’s Birthday Party Invite (53:11)
  Question: Is it tacky for a host to ask guests to bring food to a child's birthday?

  • Ben wants more context: “I’d love to understand what kind of year has she had?” (53:44)
  • Both agree: If the host is struggling, community support is sweet. If not, it's a strange move.
  • Claudia: “Do an audit of the social media… if they're living well and their kid is not, it's tough.” (55:16)

• 2. Niece’s Boy Secrets (56:00)
  Should an aunt keep secret her niece’s confessions about talking to boys?

  • Claudia and Ben go back and forth but agree: Mom needs to know, but aunt can’t be “ratted out.”
  • “Mom needs to know. But under the guise of being like, you can’t fucking rat me out because, one, we’re going to lose our information highway, and two, you’re going to make me look like a rat.” — Claudia (57:31)

• 3. Asking a Former Friends-With-Benefits for Sperm Donation (59:06)
  Is it nuts to ask a former FWB to provide sperm for embryo freezing?

  • Main advice: Only reach out if he’s single.
  • Ben: “If he’s single, what’s the worst… he could say no?” (59:53)
  • Claudia: “You can’t just text this… why don’t you ask him to dinner? You rekindle the friendship. Perhaps you get in one last quickie.” (60:50)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:39 — Florida weather & snow in New York
• 02:25 — Feedback on Friday’s guest host episode
• 03:12 — Bert Kreischer “content mansion” story
• 05:19 — Claudia’s tooth saga & root canal story
• 11:56 — Ben’s tongue scraping journey
• 23:25 — Fast 5 stories begin (Hilary Duff’s tour)
• 27:42 — Kris Jenner’s party/Meghan Markle photo drama
• 31:03 — Kris’s facelift doctor & party costs
• 37:04 — Sydney Sweeney’s box office fail
• 41:54 — Robert Pattinson says he’d return to Twilight
• 53:11 — Dear Toasters advice segment begins

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Tone and Banter

• Typical Oshry humor: unfiltered, sometimes raunchy (but always self-aware), brutally honest, quick-witted, and playful with running marital jokes and affectionate teasing.
• Ben fills in as a chaos agent, confidently delivering hot takes and dad jokes, often self-deprecating.

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Summary Takeaways

• This episode is a quintessential Toast experience: real-life confessionals (from Claudia’s dentistry to bizarre gifting history), genuine relationship humor, and on-point celebrity commentary.
• The breadth of content spans from oral hygiene trends to celebrity surgery, with time for an impromptu Hilary Duff duet and thoughtful (if rowdy) listener advice.
• Highlights include Claudia’s “toothless wonder” saga, Hilary Duff acoustic hand-wringing, and the hilarious Twilight vs. Batman cinematic debate.

If you missed it, this episode is a balance of relatable lifestyle themes and sharp pop-culture coverage, all wrapped in the Oshry signature blend of warmth and wit.

Transcript

[A]

Good morning, girlies. It's the Toast. It's Jackson Claude, and we're your host. It's your favorite show. The best five things you need to know. We'll start your day off Swirly. It's the Toast. They sound amazing. Welcome back to the Toast and happy Tuesday. Today, I've chosen to spend the morning with the person I chose to spend my life with. It's Ben, Softer celebrity, my husband. Hey, Ben, how you doing?

[B]

I'm doing excellent on this beautiful, frosty morning.

[A]

You guys, it's freezing in Florida. It's like in the 40s. Everybody here is drinking hot chocolate, and.

[B]

Honestly, it is a complete dream. I woke outside. Woke, woke, woke. I woke up. I went outside in my shorts, and let me tell you, I was too cold. I had to throw on a sweater.

[A]

It's also snowing in New York, which I am kind of devastated to be missing. I can't lie.

[B]

I'm not. Honestly, like, snow in New York is fun for, like, one second, and then it turns to slush and then you're like, this place is absolutely vile.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Every ounce of dirt.

[A]

When it snows in New York, all. All people do is, like, blame the mayor.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like the snow never gets cleaned up. It's all over the street.

[B]

By the way, it's something to blame.

[A]

The mayor for 1,000%. Like, this literally your job.

[B]

Yeah. Like, set up. What are the. I was going to call it a Zamboni.

[A]

Yeah. Zamboni.

[B]

Yeah. But that's not what it's called.

[A]

Like a zamboni.

[B]

A street cleaner for the snow.

[A]

Street.

[B]

A zamboni.

[A]

No. What's it called? The truck? Snowplow.

[B]

Snowplow, yeah. No, pla.

[A]

Ben is here with me today. He was also here on Friday. I haven't even spoken because I chatting yesterday and she was a guest and, you know, you have to, like, treat your guests like let them talk, but you're like, you know, old news. We need to talk about the fact that nobody who is a regular co host of today of this show showed up on Friday. It was an unprecedented event where not nor Jackie nor I were on this show. You and Olivia hosted, like, two randos.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

And let me tell you, I try not to read the comments. During maternity leave, Jackie was telling me because, like, you know, everybody's used to just me and Jackie. And even when if it's a great episode, people are always just, like, complaining. And it's like, work so hard on a maternity leave episode. You're doing it all by Yourself. Just for people to be like, well, I like it better when this person. And it's like, okay, great. So I really don't read the comments because I'm just doing my best. And I was very curious to see what people were saying when, you know, Jackie and I both didn't show up on Friday. And I just want to say I was sick. I know everyone's saying, like, you were faking. Ben thought I was faking, too.

[B]

You're having a tough week.

[A]

We're going to talk about that in a second, too.

[B]

Yeah, you are.

[A]

So I went to the comments to see what people were saying about you and Olivia. Have you read the comments?

[B]

Of course. Glowing reviews.

[A]

I never got comments so nice about my own show in my whole fucking life.

[B]

No, let me tell you, me and Olivia. Did you listen to the episode?

[A]

Of course not.

[B]

We were firing.

[A]

Really?

[B]

No, no. It was. You can ask Ben, our wonderful producer. It was like a ping pong match back and forth. There was never a single second of silence.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And I'm not gonna lie, I was incredibly funny.

[A]

Well, you know, you did have to, like, represent our family.

[B]

We crushed that. Said, we had one boring conversation about food, and a lot of the comments were like, you and Olivia should start a cooking podcast. You know how boring. A cooking podcast.

[A]

Don't mock my commenters only. I'm not allowed to do that.

[B]

There's only like six of them. And they were like, you and Olivia should start a cooking podcast. You actually.

[A]

A cooking podcast.

[B]

What do you do with. What's a cooking podcast?

[A]

Talk about cooking.

[B]

Yeah. No talk about cooking. Unless we did, like, a Bert Kreischer. Something's burning. Where like, oh, my God.

[A]

Ben went on this show once. How many times are you going to talk about Bert Kreischer, by the way? You're obsessed with him.

[B]

He's so funny.

[A]

When we were in LA, Ben went on Bert Kreischer has, like, a YouTube series where he interviews people, but he cooks for them. So it's like in this big kitchen, they sit at his bar stool, he's cooking up. He's like a big fancy cook. And he's also telling crazy stories. And they're telling. It's like, it's a really great concept. So Ben and Josh went on it. When I tell you, Ben has brought it up 1,000 times.

[B]

We went to Bert Kreischer's house, and.

[A]

Let me tell you, tell you about his mansion.

[B]

He has a mansion next to a mansion. He has a content mansion where he lives and Then a mansion, a content mansion where he makes content. And then a mansion where he lives, and you just walk in and it's the most gorgeous kitchen you've ever seen. I'm not gonna lie. I was a little. Jealous is the wrong word.

[A]

It was inspired. Inspired.

[B]

It was inspiring.

[A]

And you give credit to Bert Kreischer, but I give credit to Bert Kreischer's wife because, you know, she was like, well, you're not cooking in my house with all these. Totally by the house next door, Burt.

[B]

Totally, totally.

[A]

Classically Ann.

[B]

And he has his, like, 250 person tour bus just parked outside.

[A]

Is that your, like, I know Stanley Tucci is one of your heroes.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Like someone you look up to whose career you would like to emulate.

[B]

Absolutely. Do I want to emulate Burt's? No.

[A]

Would you throw Bert in that category of people who inspire you?

[B]

I would definitely say that it's inspirational, but no, I don't want, like, apples to apples.

[A]

That's not what I was saying that you want apples to apples. It's called inspiration.

[B]

Mood board is inspiration.

[A]

Who else would be inspiration for you? Stanley Tucci, Bert Kreischer. The duality of man.

[B]

Ina Sweet Aina. Yeah. She's fantastic. Maybe. No, I was gonna say Emeril. Lasagna. Mr. Lagasse.

[A]

Emeril Lagasse.

[B]

Emeril Lagasse. Maybe Like a Bobby Flay. No, but it's really Stanley. Stanley's the gold star.

[A]

Stanley's the gold standard.

[B]

He crushes. I just watched him on Ina. Fantastic.

[A]

You just watched him on Ina.

[B]

I did.

[A]

We did.

[B]

You weren't really paying attention.

[A]

How did he meet his wife?

[B]

Were you.

[A]

How did he meet his wife?

[B]

I'm not sure. You know? Yeah.

[A]

On the set of Devil Wears Product. Emily Blunt.

[B]

I watched it. I knew that.

[A]

And how many times has he been married?

[B]

Three?

[A]

Twice. I do want to. Just quick, I feel like we're talking about you, like, a little too much. Let's circle back to what happened to me yesterday.

[B]

Yeah. You got a root canal.

[A]

Oh, my God. Way to.

[B]

Just like you said, what happened to me? You got a root canal.

[A]

I said, let's talk about what happened to me.

[B]

What happened to you?

[A]

Get a root canal? Like that just makes it seem so routine, you know, I've had this little pain in my tooth a couple of days, I think.

[B]

A couple of days? You've had this pain in your tooth for 18 months.

[A]

Okay. So when I was pregnant, a part of my tooth did fall out at Bloomingdale's I was just. I was actually. The gift wrapping. I was buying a gift. I wonder who for. Oh, for you really ungrateful. Le Creuset set for your birthday.

[B]

But you buy me size, medium, Gucci Technicolor T shirt. Thank you so much.

[A]

Okay, you guys, Ben, just make. Remind me to come back to the root canal. That story. Like, 10 years ago. It was Ben's birthday, and, like, I didn't know what to get him. And so I went to. Everyone was talking about Dover street market in 10 years.

[B]

It was probably like eight. I was.

[A]

Why is that a big distinction?

[B]

It wasn't that long ago. Seven years ago. I was £260.

[A]

He was big. Yeah. It was Ben's big era.

[B]

She went to Dover Street.

[A]

Let me see the story.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I mean, it's over street market because, like, that's where like, cool kids were going.

[B]

Really. Just Kanye West.

[A]

It was the first and last time I had ever been there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they had, like, a little Gucci thing, and they had, like, limited edition stuff. So this black Gucci T shirt that had, like, the classic Gucci logo, you know, red and green, but instead of red and green, it was like shiny.

[B]

Rainbow, full blown pride.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And they only had it in a size medium. And I was like, perfect. So I gave it to Ben. And I will say to your credit, at the time, you were like, oh, it's so cool. Like, I don't know if it'll fit, but, like, whatever, we can return it and exchange it. Of course, we never did. And the way you guys know, I'm the sweeper. I get rid of everything I sell, I donate, I throw out.

[B]

Like, I'm always getting rid of this T shirt.

[A]

We cannot get rid of this T shirt. And actually so much so that in our. I said, you know what? It's time to part with the T shirt. We sent it to the real real. Did I ever tell you what happened?

[B]

Yeah, they told me.

[A]

They won't accept it.

[B]

They won't accept it. Who is a lovely gay gentleman in our life who's, like, a slim. Slim. No, it's really not. It's not Porky. You actually need to be quite slim. Who's a slim individual that would like that shirt? Joe. Joe.

[A]

Joe G. Joe Grun. Perfect for him.

[B]

Maybe. Maybe that's a good one. It would be. Yeah, that would work.

[A]

So did you ever wear it?

[B]

No, it never fit.

[A]

Right. Right.

[B]

Like, it's. It goes, like, up to my belly button.

[A]

Okay, can we go back to the root canal story?

[B]

Oh, yeah, you got a root canal.

[A]

So, okay. We had, like, very late. I was in the Blue Nails dressing room. I must have been, like, five or six months pregnant. I was in the Bloomingdale's gift wrapping center. And I'm like. All of a sudden, big piece of tooth comes out. I'm like, oh, that's good. My tooth is decaying to the point where pieces are falling off. We love that. Now everyone knows pregnancy is, like, notorious for dental issues. The babies literally suck all the nutrients out of your body. No calcium to fight cavities. And I was like, well, I know I have a cavity. Probably a really, um. I can't do anything about it, so let's just move on. And let me tell you, it never hurt. I just, like, knew it was bad because pieces were falling off. Can't stress that enough. Then I gave birth, and I was like, you know, I gotta take care of this tooth at some point. But it never hurt me till the last couple of days. It was starting to feel a little sore. I was like, oh, the cavity must be getting, like, a little big. Called up my friend Dr. Mark Leitung. Asked for a recommendation. Went to a par dentist yesterday. Walked in thinking, I'm like, all right, I'm gonna have to get my cavity. You know, cavities are kind of a big deal. So I was like, probably gonna have to get a shot of novocaine. I was gonna have to dump my breast milk. Like, so annoying. Even though they say it's breastfeeding safe. Like, why take? So I'm preparing myself. The doctor says, this is one of the worst things I've ever seen. It's going to be a root canal. And I said, right now? I didn't even bring headphones. She's like, yeah, well, right now. We can do it right now. And I knew if I left, I was never coming back. So I was like, you know what? Fuck me up, fam.

[B]

Which tooth was it?

[A]

I'm so glad you asked. Number 15.

[B]

So that's the second to last on the back left. Wow.

[A]

Yes, it is. I forgot that Ben interned at a Dr. Mark Leicht hunt at his office for many summers. Yes. Number 15.

[B]

So really, they could have just pulled it.

[A]

Well, so it was so bad you.

[B]

Would have even known it was gone.

[A]

Yeah. But then I'm just like a toothless wonder. Like, that's insane.

[B]

You are. You're. You're. It's. You're in your final form.

[A]

It's toothless wonder not to have a tooth. So it was crazy. I got so much novocaine. So much. And you know what? It actually didn't hurt. She did a wonderful job. Later in the night, when the numbing started to wear off before bed last.

[B]

Night, you were a torturer. Absolute terror.

[A]

It really hurt.

[B]

And then this morning, we didn't even talk about it. Mark texted. How was it? Oh, you know, I was just in, like, a little bit of pain last night. This is literally, Claudia, we're watching a show.

[A]

Cuz, you know, like, tooth pain just hits you out of nowhere. And also, let me say something before you. Before you continue.

[B]

Are you okay? I'm not okay.

[A]

If I could just say one thing. I know you're, like, new to, like, the space of being a public figure. Like, sometimes things happen, like, in our private lives. Like, you don't have to tell everyone that. Like, I was screaming. Like, you could just say I was in pain.

[B]

No, you were. You were screaming in pain.

[A]

Because you know what? Tooth pain, it just comes out of nowhere.

[B]

It's hard. Boom.

[A]

Up to your brain.

[B]

Yeah. No, it's terrible. I remember literally saying to you, was it like a lightning bolt?

[A]

Yeah. And then you're like, no. Then you're, like, asking a lot of annoying questions about, can I help you? You can't. You literally can't.

[B]

I could, actually, because I went and I got you a cold, nice ice pack. And you're like, no, I'm not using this. And then I look to the right.

[A]

And you used it.

[B]

You're like. I'm like, is it. Did it make you feel better? You're like, yeah, actually, like, it, like, kind of made it numb. I'm like, yeah, that's what it does. Yeah, that's what it does. It numbs the pain. Cold.

[A]

I just realized, like, I don't want you coming on the podcast anymore. Like, you're really annoying. I had like. And I just feel like I'm not getting enough credit for raw dogging a root canal.

[B]

Not only did, you know, no headphones. Yes.

[A]

No tv. And there was a tv. And I was like, are they going to ask if I want to put on Netflix or anything? No, nothing. No stimulation. Just like, listening to the sounds of a root canal.

[B]

Yeah, you crushed.

[A]

I have to go back for a crown. And then she's like, you got a bunch more cavities. You gotta come back. I'm like, yeah, sure. See you later. Yeah, once I get that crown, girl, you're never gonna see me again.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm just gonna take really good care of my teeth. Like and that's a crazy thing. I'm so meticulous about oral hygiene.

[B]

You are.

[A]

It's like. And that's when people are like, you have a cavity, or how, like, you sound gross. You know?

[B]

You know what's ironic?

[A]

Oh, I know what you're gonna say.

[B]

That's ironic.

[A]

Yes. What's ironic is that I'm so annoying about dental hygiene. I'm always encouraging you to be more hygienic because you're low key. Gross. And Ben's favorite fact about himself is that he's never have a cavity.

[B]

Never had a cavity.

[A]

Well, you haven't been to the dentist, by the way.

[B]

I have. I have. I go once a year. That's the proper amount of time to go.

[A]

Oh, my God. Nobody's ever told a bigger lie than you saying that you go to the dentist.

[B]

I go once a year. The last two years. Before that, it had been a couple of years.

[A]

Big fucking liar.

[B]

I literally get.

[A]

Ben, you don't even have a dentist.

[B]

Yes, I do.

[A]

And don't you dare say gallery.

[B]

Yes, I do.

[A]

Gallery. No, you have not been to gallery. Dental.

[B]

Have.

[A]

You are such a. You are such a disgusting liar.

[B]

I'll get them to call you.

[A]

Oh, you're.

[B]

I'm just gonna call them my records.

[A]

I'm gonna call them as Woman's Quest. My records. Oh, we have to talk about the show we started last night.

[B]

Of course. My records. Yeah, but wait, I wanna remind me on my oral health journey. Okay.

[A]

Oh, Ben started tongue screaming two days ago, and now he thinks he's, like.

[B]

The way to give it away. Yeah, just like that.

[A]

I bought us two.

[B]

Just like that. You give it away.

[A]

Lauren Bostick put me on.

[B]

I told the whole story.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Isn't it annoying to my.

[A]

Isn't it annoying? Isn't it annoying? Isn't it annoying?

[B]

O. I started tongue scraping two days ago, and let me tell you, my breath. I'm scraping my tongue and then I'm using my new favorite mouthwash, swishables. Unbelievable.

[A]

I really am getting annoyed.

[B]

Swishables. Tongue. Scrape. Swish.

[A]

I'm actually getting annoyed at this conversation. Okay.

[B]

Why? Because you told me to do it and I didn't listen.

[A]

So, like, a couple of years ago, I actually talked about it on the podcast how I was looking for low lift wellness things. Like, I wanted to get into wellness, but I was too fat and lazy to, like, do anything real. And Lauren Bostick had, I think, done like, an episode or something about low lift wellness and tongue scraping. I was like, oh, I Can do that. And I bought a pack of two on Amazon that came in these little orange boxes, and I literally left it on your side of your sink for years. I think I just threw it out because you never used it. So to hear you waxing on like you invented tongue scraping is so annoying.

[B]

Yeah. I'm actually really thankful to Jackie for turning me onto it. That was really. And then she gave me one for.

[A]

You to sit here and be like, my breath.

[B]

Fantastic.

[A]

Ben's breath. For years, I have talked about it on the toast.

[B]

Just absolutely for context. Claudia in another life was a police dog. Let me tell you. Like, she can smell.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

She can smell what the neighbor four floors up is cooking for dinner.

[A]

Yes. I have low tolerance for bad breath. Having said that, for you to just, like, brush past being like, oh, my breath is so much better. Like, you were making me sound so annoying for how much I commented on your breath. Now we can all agree your breath was not normal.

[B]

I think it was. Was slightly below average, and now it is way above average.

[A]

And I just. I love this journey for you. Like, I love your oral hygiene journey.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

And so it's like, the fact that you. You're the one who's never had any cavities, but I'm over here begging you to scrape your tongue.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

It's genetics. So I just hate, like, telling the story when people are, like, literally talking about, it's like, making my tooth. Tooth hurt. But it's like, the connotation. It's kind of like when you have lice. People like, oh, you're gross. Your house is dirty. Meanwhile, lice love clean hair. It's just like, I hate, like, I have to caveat by saying, like, I take amazing care of my teeth.

[B]

You. Absolutely.

[A]

It's a byproduct of being pregnant. You do all the nutrients in your body. Like, your body has no ability to fight bacteria. So I just want to say, like, it's not my fault.

[B]

You know what's a sham? The toothbrush. Okay, so now fact.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

The tongue scraper was invented over 3,000 years ago.

[A]

True.

[B]

The first toothbrush popped up in the 1700s. The modern toothbrush was invented 80 years ago. And let me tell you, this is not what's most important for dental hygiene. It is really the tongue scraper.

[A]

Okay, so you're making a root canal about my root canal about yourself.

[B]

No, I'm just sharing fun facts. You have any fun facts to share?

[A]

Yeah, my tooth hurts.

[B]

That's not a fun fact.

[A]

And the hardest thing Is like when I'm in pain or I'm just like, experience. Just experiencing distress, which I am right now. The only real way to comfort myself is to eat. Oh, my God. Having dinner last night, I was in hell. I did end up having a milkshake, so I was fine. But, like, being so hungry and unable to eat is a feeling I would not even foist upon. My worst enemy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Who's your worst enemy?

[B]

Who's my worst.

[A]

I actually feel like I've asked you.

[B]

This question and you said my worst enemy. I don't think that I. Even if I knew who it was, I couldn't say it here.

[A]

No, of course. You could just, like, mouth it to me. Do you have a worst enemy?

[B]

I don't think so.

[A]

Good for you.

[B]

Somebody that I. Oh, actually, yeah, I do.

[A]

Whisper to my hair.

[B]

But I do.

[A]

Who know you.

[B]

Who. Or he's just an enemy.

[A]

Yeah, that's your enemy.

[B]

He's an enemy.

[A]

Him.

[B]

Him.

[A]

Do you know who my enemy is? Yeah, of course.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw what you're about to say. Yeah. I mean, I would say it right now. Yeah, I would say right now.

[B]

Tl.

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So we actually have a lot to do today. We have amazing stories and we have Dear Toasters. Our crazy co host is joining us for Dear Doses.

[B]

Amazing. I'm gonna give, by the way. I give amazing advice. Okay.

[A]

That's the second biggest lie you've ever told.

[B]

I give amazing advice and it's so nice to be around people who actually want to hear it and need it and requested it. The people who are calling in.

[A]

Yeah, they were expecting Tammy and Jackie. Well, not Wish.

[B]

Surprise.

[A]

Also, was I right about the headphones?

[B]

No, like, it's the same thing. It's just like, why are we wearing headphones in person?

[A]

I like wearing the headphones when we're in the studio. Cause first of all, I sound much louder than you because I'm actually talking into the microphone. But we don't.

[B]

So am I.

[A]

No, you're not. Now you are. Why don't you move your chair in?

[B]

Because I'm good.

[A]

Please look how much closer I am. Okay, perfect. But also doesn't make like you can hear yourself. It feels like more of a performance. So you feel like you're being funnier and more charismatic because you can hear yourself. I know that sounds crazy. No, because this is, in my opinion, one of your best performances.

[B]

Agree to disagree.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I mean, you gotta listen to me on Friday. I think I'm just Like in my podcast era.

[A]

God, you're so annoying.

[B]

Crushing.

[A]

Should we dive into the fast five? There's a lot and I know there's. You want to talk? Okay. That was so crazy. Are you done?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Without further ado, Here are the Fast 5 stories that you need to know. Today's episode is brought to you by Neiman Marcus. Thank you, Neiman Marcus, for sponsoring today's episode. At Neiman Marcus, there's truly something special for everyone. You can find some of your favorite brands, Bottega, Veneta's new it bag, things for the home, things for the kids. Also, Neiman Marcus is one of my favorite places to send baby gifts from. It's just like, it's so elegant and it arrives really parchy. And they have great options for kids. They also cover, you know, lots of different categories like gourmet goodies, covetable it bags, elegant timepieces, stunning jewelry, the ultimate stocking stuffers, beauty must haves, chic kids clothes and toys. So even the impossible to shop for friends and family thanks to Neiman Marcus holiday gift guides and of course, their legendary fantasy gifts. They're one of a kind items, surpass every expectations. I feel like Neiman Marcus really steps our up for the holidays. Their catalogs are sick and they really offer great gift guides because I feel like it's really hard to like, shop for things for people that not everybody has. And Neiman Marcus is the go to place if you're looking for like, you know, things for girls who are not like other girls, you know, if you know what I'm saying. Shopping Neiman Marcus is the perfect way to find gifts that are guaranteed to surprise and delight. Head to Neiman Marcus today to shop off, to cross off things on your shopping list, but also to take care of oneself. Because if you're on an office holiday party wanting to be looking your partiest, Neiman Marcus is going to make sure you're stunting on all these hoes in addition to the hoes on your shopping list. So ho, ho, ho this holiday season at Neiman Marcus. And thank you, Neiman Marcus, for sponsoring today's episode. Today's episode is also brought to you by our best friends at Minky Couture. You will never want to buy another blanket ever again. Ever since we kind of became the faces of Minky Couture, more like the bodies of Minky Couture, we can really say that they make the best blanket on the planet. And I know Jackie got one first, and I remember her talking about it being like well, it's a blanket. Like it's probably really good, but like, how can a blanket be, you guys, Transformational. And then all these other companies started like popping up, copying Minky Couture. That's how you know that they're like the OG Chanel blanket. They are the best blankets on the planet. And they make this huge blanket. It's called the grande blanket. And I was like, oh, it's perfect. And then they came out with a bigger one. Do you know that our bed at home has the new bigger one?

[B]

I didn't.

[A]

And it literally like drapes to the floor. It's sick.

[B]

It's an incredible blanket. So soft, so luxurious.

[A]

So luxurious. And they make tons of different sizes, so they make infant ones, which is really cute. It also fits perfectly in a dog crate because Romeo just will. He will sleep where the Minky Couture blanket is the one in our living room. It' best blanket. I just can't really stress it enough. They come in tons of different colors, tons of different sizes. Really chic, really elegant. They really make the best blanket on the market. They are the creator of the original Hugs blanket. It's a double sided, stretchy and plush style that literally hugs you back. It is a female owned business started by a mom. We love moms. They're also really passionate about giving back to the community. So they have donated over 30, 000 of their mini Minky blankets to Nicus across the country every year, which we absolutely love. And lucky for you guys, we've partnered with Minky Couture to bring this comfort and luxury into your home by offering an exclusive 50 off discount. That's L half off when you use code toast at checkout for half off your next purchase of a full priced blanket, Visit their website softminky blankets.com Use code TOAST for 50 off your next purchase and treat yourself to the best blanket ever. Also follow them on Instagram for additional deals at Minky Couture. Today's episode is also brought to you. Oh, and I'm glad I have been here by Momentous Creatine. Not only are you the biggest user of their product, but you also are a bread endorser as well.

[B]

I absolutely love Momentous Creatine, let me tell you. And it came out. I don't even need to read it. They came out with their 1mg chews. Okay. You can chew in the morning, chew in the evening, chew when you're on the can, whenever you want to chew.

[A]

So Creatine, I know you're a man. But it's also really essential for women who naturally store about 70 to 80% less creatine than men. Which means consistent supplementation can have a greater impact on energy, on recovery and focus. Because creatine is not just for building muscle, it has become a daily essential for strength, focus, recovery, aging and cognitive performance. Yes, Ben loves to say that as somebody who takes the creatine every day but doesn't always go to the gym.

[B]

I never go to the gym, strictly take it for my brain. It is the gym for my brain.

[A]

So their chews deliver one gram of crea pure creatine monohydrate, which is the gold standard single source from Germany and nsf, certified for sport, trusted by Olympic athletes, pro sports teams and elite military operators. They have spent years testing until they created the first chewable that actually meets the standard, the momentous standard, which is uncompromising science, meticulous sourcing and real transparency. Right now, Momentous is offering toasters 35% off your first order with promo code toast only. When you go to livemomentous.com and use promo code toast for up to 35 off, that's livemomentous.com our promo code is toast. T O A S T Today's episode is also brought to you by Everyday Dose. So you know, we all live extremely busy, chaotic lifestyles. If you're constantly on the go and you love your coffee but you're looking for something a little bit better, a simple but effective alternative that doesn't make, that doesn't take even more time out of your day is Everyday Dose. So Everyday Dose is coffee plus benefits. They combine high quality coffee with powerful ingredients like lion's mane and chaga, collagen, protein and nootropics to fuel your brain, boost focus, give you clean, sustained energy all day long. It tastes just like coffee without the downside. No crash, no jitters, just clean, sustained energy. I think a lot of us can relate to the sort of toxic relationship we have with coffee. We feel like we need it, we feel like we love the taste, we can't live without it. But there aren't, you know, amazing things about coffee, the way they make you feel. It comes with a crash, comes with jitters, comes with anxiety, comes with a lot of poop.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

And so everyday doses. Just a company committed to understanding the coffee habit, trying to make it better, trying to make you feel better. It's also just better energy. It's more sustainable, it's more, you know, fueled throughout the day. And they're offering 61 off your first coffee plus starter kit plus a free A2 probiotic creamer with over a hundred dollars in free gifts by going to everydaydose.com toast or you can just go to their website and enter code TOAST T O A S T. That's everydaydose.com toast for 61 off your first order. Everyday Dose is also available at your local targets. While you're cruising the aisles, you know, perhaps picking up a spritz society at Target. You can also get Everyday Dose or just head over to their website to get that 61 off your first coffee plus starter kit with the free A2 probiotic creamer everydaydose.com toast all right, Ben, are you ready for the fast five stories?

[B]

I absolutely am. What's our first story?

[A]

So I chose it for you because normally like I wouldn't care because I feel like when it comes to Hillary Duff's music renaissance, like I've seen what I've needed to see. But I know you're a really big fan of her. So she is playing her first live show in over a decade. She has announced a mini tour. She says so it's starting in London but for the first time in over.

[B]

Why?

[A]

I know.

[B]

Why can't you start in America?

[A]

Because you want to know why? She's probably really nervous and as somebody who has toured before, not musically comedy, you do do like smaller. Yeah you do do not less important but like less high stakes venues before because you're nervous. You know, she's probably working through the songs, the vocals, the in ears. So by the time she gets to New York she'll probably feel like the the show is ready. That's what I would assume. So for the first time in over a decade, the 30 year old sing, 38 year old singer and actress announced that she will be returning to the stage for a series of intimate live shows. The tour is called Small rooms, Big nerves. It's a mini Tour starting in January 2026. She also released her song Mature. So there are four shows. First is London, second is Toronto, third is Brooklyn and then four is LA.

[B]

Where is the Brooklyn? When is the Brooklyn show?

[A]

January 27th. Are you gonna go?

[B]

Here's the thing.

[A]

You're kind of our Hilary Duff correspondent.

[B]

I was ready to go until I heard Intimate. Yeah, intimate to me means probably acoustic. I'm not into that. I saw Third Eye Blind acoustic. I didn't need it. I needed them full blast. I actually saw them I think in a Brooklyn bar and it sounds really cool. Like 100 people, third eye blind guitars. No, the song is meant to be sung the way that it was produced.

[A]

It depends on the person and their discography. There are certain people I would love. Taylor Swift's songs are all written guitar perfect acoustic queen. Some music lends itself to the acoustic, the drama of the acoustics of the theater, and some don't. And I would not disagree with you that Hilary Dust music doesn't really lend itself to the acoustic.

[B]

I don't think Coming Clean is gonna like. Is that a great acoustic song?

[A]

Probably sounds parchy. Some songs are just so good. They sing.

[B]

Can you sing any. What is it?

[A]

I'm Coming Clean.

[B]

No, I didn't get any of the song. Like. Oh, let the rain fall down.

[A]

Keep hitting the table.

[B]

Let it wash away my sanity. Cause I wanna feel the thunder, I wanna scream. Let the rain fall down. I'm coming clean.

[A]

Okay, harmony. This is what Jackie feels like. This is fucking annoying.

[B]

That was really good.

[A]

It was. But like, please don't do it again.

[B]

That was so good.

[A]

We also did listen to Hilary Duff's single, Remember.

[B]

Yeah, I kind of thought it was shite.

[A]

Yeah, it was like, shockingly not good given the fact that she's married to like a pretty critically accomplished. Clitically.

[B]

You like that newscaster?

[A]

A pretty tits. Critically acclaimed music producer. It low key stunk.

[B]

Yeah, I wasn't a fan. It's just like make a song that sounds exactly like the song that we really like.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That's like so rude to her.

[A]

Like, don't evolve.

[B]

Like, don't evolve.

[A]

Right.

[B]

She should be able to.

[A]

But don't.

[B]

It's sad. No, really, don't, like just like, do what you've done and do it again, you know?

[A]

Yeah. It's not my favorite.

[B]

No, it's not my favorite, but I. I would. I would love to see her. If the timing works out, I would love to see her. Maybe we can do a little meet and greet.

[A]

Well, why don't you go? Me and Hillary and I'll stay home.

[B]

No, you're coming.

[A]

No, I just. I don't leave the house much these days, so if I do, it's got to be something I really want to do.

[B]

Sure. Like the Jonas Brothers.

[A]

I would go to the Jonas Brothers.

[B]

Are we going to the Jonas Brothers? What is it, Sunday night? No, we'll be back. Why? Why? Why? No, I'm going.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Who am I going with? Am I really going alone with Mar.

[A]

Maybe your girlfriend?

[B]

Am I going alone with Martin?

[A]

Why don't you take your girlfriend?

[B]

You don't want to go?

[A]

No.

[B]

You want to go. No.

[A]

By the way, I do want to go, but, like, I. You don't know what it's like. I really need to prepare.

[B]

Okay, so let's just think. Who could they possibly bring out and how pissed will you be?

[A]

Taylor Swift or Luke Holmes?

[B]

If they brought it, they'll bring out neither of those people.

[A]

So I'm good. I'll sleep well.

[B]

I want, like, Natalie Ambrosio. Is that a no?

[A]

Imbruglia.

[B]

Imbruglia. Have they had Natalie Imbruglia?

[A]

Definitely.

[B]

I don't think they have yet.

[A]

Ben, I'm telling you, go.

[B]

Who else? They had click five already, right?

[A]

Yeah. I would have been.

[B]

TOR is killing it.

[A]

I want to do two stories next about Kris Jenner's birthday party, which we spoke about yesterday, but it looked so sick. And more stuff is coming out about the party that's making me chuckle but also making me curious. The first is that Meghan Markle was there, which is just crazy and fun. Harry was there too, and Kim posted a picture with her. Chris posted a picture with her, and they both deleted the picture.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah. So Kim Kardashian has seemingly removed a photo of Meghan Markle from her Instagram photo dump celebrating Kris Jenner's birthday party. Initially, Kim had included a picture of Megan in a carousel of pictures. The image showed Kim and Megan posing together, smiling for the camera. The Kim was wearing a slinky purple gown, and then Megan was wearing her black ensemble. And then Harry was spotted in the background sporting a tuxedo, having a conversation. He was kind of like, ruining the photo, and it's gone. They were there and then they weren't. Everybody else in the carousel seems totally untouched.

[B]

So strange.

[A]

Yeah. And then Chris had deleted a picture of Harry and Megan too. Now it's no secret that they were there. So why the photos would be removed? It does seem like Megan or Megan's team just reached out and asked for the photos to be removed. It's so lame.

[B]

It's just like the opposite of what she's trying to do.

[A]

Like, and this is the type of event, like, I feel like that really endears her to people. Everyone's talking about this party. So much fun. And it's all positive, Right? Everybody loved the theme. Everybody's like, the Kardashians do stuff. Sometimes they hate. People hate it. Sometimes people love it. People are like, oh, you're responsible for climate change. Like, but this was just like, good old fashioned fun. It seemed like everybody's Loving it. I think it was a really good place for Megan and Harry to be. You know, Beyonce was there. Like, everybody, hi. So, like, why you would want that removed? And now we're all talking about the removal. I'm sure she thought, like, nobody would notice. Megan does not understand how the Internet works, for sure. And so she thought, like, it would just get removed and nobody would think anything of it.

[B]

But of course, now, why want it removed?

[A]

Maybe she liked the way she looked. I don't know.

[B]

Who cares?

[A]

No, literally, who gives?

[B]

The Kardashians are posting you, right?

[A]

And, you know, the Kardashians, like, edit all their photos, and they edit everyone to look great.

[B]

Do you have a picture of her?

[A]

She looked great. I feel like it had more to do with Harry in the background. You could. He was tilting his head down. You could, like, kind of see, like, his bald spots.

[B]

Ah.

[A]

And there's a lot of talk about whether there was, like, an era last year where he wore hats a lot. So people thought he flew to Turkey to get. Not flew to Turkey, but you know what I mean? To get his hair transplants. Then he resurfaced, still balding. So we were like, oh, never mind. Maybe he was just really into hats. It was a. Not a great photo of his scalp. But, like, we know he's the most famous guy in the world. Like, we know you're balding.

[B]

It's exactly what it is. Then you think, yeah, Harry wanted it removed because of his bald spot, or his team sounds like he needs neutrophil.

[A]

But now. But now we're all talking about it more.

[B]

No, it's. It's. It was the wrong move.

[A]

It was the wrong move.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

I feel like whether it's them or the people around them, like, they're constantly being given bad advice.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Because everyone knows, like, no one would have thought anything of the picture. Now we're studying it, being like, well, maybe they didn't like this. And now we're pointing out all the bad things in the picture, whereas we would have just let the picture slide.

[B]

You know who looked amazing at the party?

[A]

Let me think. Who you're gonna say Oprah.

[B]

Chris.

[A]

Oh, agreed. Well, that actually is a great segue.

[B]

Into this next story about Jenner looked amazing. She looked like not even 50, 40. She looked really, really young. And I did see that picture of Oprah. Oprah doesn't look like that.

[A]

Doesn't look like what? She also looked. You thought it was an edited photo of Oprah?

[B]

Unless she also went to the same surgeon and nobody spoke about it as Kris Jenner. Oprah also looked like 30 years younger.

[A]

So apparently the surgeon was at the party.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And according to Us Weekly, doing quick.

[B]

Quick nip and tucks at the party.

[A]

The plastic surgeon Steven Levine was the most popular person at the birthday bash. She was so. Levine was a big hit among the guests as his client star studded birthday bash and literally the best walking advertisement for his handiwork, Kris Jenner. So the insider said everyone joked that he was the most popular guy at the party. And Jenner and Levine posted a picture together. She included him in her carousel where Meghan was also removed from.

[B]

See, if it was Meghan and Harry, they wouldn't have told anybody that she got a facelift. Well, so the Kardashians are so transparent. Whether you like them or not.

[A]

They're not actually recently Chris's. For years people have been begging, begging, begging the girls to talk about what they do. And anytime they've spoken about it, it's been like through a veil of truth, it really. I got a little. Yeah. I mean, think about Kim's ass. She got it X rayed on the old show Keeping up with the Kardashians being like, there's nothing there that is not a natural ass. And she still never to this day admitted like what it was. And then a couple of months ago, somebody made a tick tock being like, kylie, please tell me what you asked for when you got your tits done.

[B]

And then she did.

[A]

Right, because these tits are like the best tits ever and I want these tits. And Kylie commented like, here's what I asked for and here's the doctor that I went to. And there was so much positive feedback to that being like, yes, Kylie, that now. And you can't ignore how different Chris looks. Like it's so obvious now. They're leaning into it. 100 they talked about the facelift on the new season of Kardashians. This is a type of transparency people have been been begging them for and they came to it in their own time and I do respect that. But oh my God, we've been asked, we've been beg pleading with them for years to be honest with us. They look amazing. We just want to know. We're not asking to judge, we're asking because we want to copy it.

[B]

Got it, Got it.

[A]

So, yes, I. You are applauding their transparency. It's a new thing and I love it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I want more of it.

[B]

And Chris looks amazing.

[A]

Chris looks insane. And it's so nice that they invited the doctor. I mean I heard that the. A facelift from this guy cost a quarter of a million dollars. He's like a four year waitlist.

[B]

Did he do Bezos?

[A]

Bezos's face?

[B]

His face is different.

[A]

So is Bradley Cooper's. Oh, we talked about this.

[B]

We talked about this.

[A]

You think Bezos has a different face?

[B]

I do.

[A]

I have. I don't look at his face.

[B]

I do think that Bezos has a different face. Was Caitlyn there?

[A]

That's a great question. Because on the new season it seems like.

[B]

Seems like they're buds. I didn't see Caitlyn in any pictures.

[A]

You're right. Caitlyn Jenner birthday bash. I don't think so.

[B]

Was Caitlyn there? You're kidding.

[A]

I don't see anything about it.

[B]

I hate when she's snubbed me too.

[A]

Cuz I'm a Caitlyn apologist.

[B]

She's an og.

[A]

She's hilarious.

[B]

Hilarious.

[A]

First of all, oh, this is an interesting article. Guess how much the party costs.

[B]

Okay. Are they including, like obviously Bezos didn't charge her for the mansion, right?

[A]

No, venue is not.

[B]

Venue's not included.

[A]

So it was just like a black tie. It was basically like the nicest wedding you've ever been to where they didn't have to pay for the bed. You. I'm shocked by this figure.

[B]

Probably like a million dollars.

[A]

They had Bruno Mars perform. He probably charges.

[B]

Okay, okay. But he. Is it, is it what she paid or what somebody would pay?

[A]

What she paid?

[B]

I think she. I think she paid. Now that I know that Bruno Mars performed, I still think a million dollars flat. Okay. Am I right? I think it's lower.

[A]

You're so wrong.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

You're so off. Luxury party planners. This is an estimate by somebody who plans these types of events according to the Daily.

[B]

See, but that's different.

[A]

I know that's different. Well, you talk about what think it cost, not what you paid. What?

[B]

What do you think it cost? I think that it costs between three and four million.

[A]

This person saying it likely cost between four and six and a half.

[B]

Okay, so I was pretty close.

[A]

I bet Bruno Mars did it for free. No. Or no Bruno Mars, but you know he has crazy gambling debt. He doesn't get out of bed for free.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think he charges at least $2 million.

[B]

But I don't think that he charged Jenner. That I do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Really. What an amazing performer to have at a birthday.

[A]

I don't think you could have chosen a better performer.

[B]

That said I told you what I want to do. Right.

[A]

By the way, the cost for a private Bruno Mars concert ranges from approximately two and a half to $5 million. That's insane.

[B]

But you know what?

[A]

I don't think that there. He's probably on the same level as Beyonce.

[B]

Yeah. Oh.

[A]

In terms of what someone could charge, he's just as. He's not as famous as Beyonce, but he's. His music is universally beloved.

[B]

So good.

[A]

Perfect for old, young generations. He's apata. But he's also, you know, 24 karat magic. He's kind of. If I could have anyone perform an event, an event of mine, it would be Bruno Mars.

[B]

Who did we see? We saw, like, he's production partner DJ Anderson Paak. And he was amazing.

[A]

He's a dj? Yeah. They have, like, a little band together called.

[B]

But he, like, played a lot of Bruno. That's why I was.

[A]

Yeah, no, they work together a lot.

[B]

So. For my birthday this year, I know that you don't think that I'm gonna make it happen. April 3rd is my birthday. Okay. You know who's playing in New York on April 3rd at 6pm?

[A]

Boys like girls.

[B]

Boys like girls. What are they doing after? Probably nothing. So I'm gonna get them.

[A]

Yeah. I was like, okay, we can go see boys, the girls for your birthday. He's like, no, no. I want them to perform for me privately.

[B]

I want them to perform for me. What do you think they would charge me for a private concert? 100 people again, they're already there.

[A]

Right?

[B]

It's. It's gravy.

[A]

It's not. The thing is, with these performances, it's more so about. You have to pay for the sound system, the tech. Like, that's what makes it.

[B]

Is there any chance that they hear this and they just say, I want to do it for. For free?

[A]

No.

[B]

Boys like Girls, by the way. I want this for my birthday. She fucking wants this.

[A]

I am the biggest boys like girls fan.

[B]

The biggest.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You literally like songs that I had never even heard of.

[A]

Yeah. What's your favorite song? I was like, low key emo.

[B]

What's your favorite song?

[A]

Turn it up it's five minutes to midnight you're coming home with me tonight. Yeah.

[B]

That was a great harmony.

[A]

Yeah, it was.

[B]

That was sick. We should start art and emo punk alt, right?

[A]

Why do you have to take it too far?

[B]

Like, because we should start.

[A]

We should just have a nice moment.

[B]

You want to start a band?

[A]

No.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

This next story, like, nobody cares about. But I do who is it? Sydney Sweeney. So she's been promoting this, like, turnt movie, Christie. Do you know about it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's a type of movie where she's like, taking herself so seriously. She has, like, gained 30 pounds. She's like, became ugly, you know, like, she did this whole body transformation. I believe she's like a producer. She's like, a lot vested in this movie, and it's just like she's doing so much for this movie, and I don't understand why. And now the box office numbers have come out and they're truly abysmal. Sydney Sweeney's movie, Christie has ranked among the worst wide box office openings with $1.3 million opening weekend, which is insanely low.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now people are saying it has a lot to do with Sydney Sweeney's American Eagles. Yet she's just.

[B]

No, no. This movie just looks so bad.

[A]

Stupid.

[B]

The rap idiots so.

[A]

Well, actually, what they're saying is that there's more awareness of her American Jeans, American Eagle Jeans ad than there is about the movie. And you would think, like, you know, all press is good press. Everyone's talking about Sydney Sweeney. They might go see her movie. And I feel like it's more so just how stupid this movie is. And I respect Sydney Sweeney's like, hustle. Like, she really wants to be taken seriously as a serious actress. And so this was, you know, her Margot Robbie moment, you know, complete transformation, you know, when Margot Robbie turned into Tanya Harding. And Margot Robbie also, like, produced the movie, and it was her production company. And I feel like she's doing a lot of similar things to Margot Robbie. Like, very beautiful woman, but can be anything, can be a chameleon, can be a boxer. Like, I don't know why you're doing all that. Like, you're very pretty. Like, people, no offense, like, want to see you just, like, being beautiful and acting super, like, super justly. And I just don't know why she's doing all this, like, like taking her teeth out and like, getting bloody. Like, why.

[B]

I know. It's. It's so hard. Like, actors always want to be what they're not.

[A]

It's so drama.

[B]

Become so famous for something and all we want you to do. It's just like we spoke about with Hilary Duff. Just make more of the same music. That was really awesome.

[A]

I know. And it's like that stifles their creative process, but we don't give a fuck.

[B]

I know. It's really tough. It's like, do you want to feel fulfilled or do you do you want to make good stuff?

[A]

So every now and then it pays off. I feel like, you know who recently, like, low key, very quietly. Like, for so long, Steve Carell was just comedy, comedy, comedy, comedy, comedy, comedy. And he, like, very successfully became a serious actor.

[B]

Difference. You know why?

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because Steve Carell is unbelievably talented.

[A]

Yeah. He could do anything.

[B]

Like, too often these non serious role players try and play serious roles. I haven't seen Sydney Sweeney's.

[A]

Me neither.

[B]

Serious movie. And maybe I will. Maybe it's good. Barry, you said Christy. Christy. Okay.

[A]

Based on a real story. No, there are a couple of examples of people who have successfully, like, done different things. Like, I'm trying to think.

[B]

Yeah. I'm saying incredible talents. Robin Williams, incredible talent.

[A]

Melissa McCarthy, like, when she takes her toe into Sirius, she does great.

[B]

Incredible.

[A]

But she also, like, knows what she's good at. And I feel like she had, like, an era where she was trying to be taken seriously. She did really good. That movie with Bill. What's his name?

[B]

De Blasio.

[A]

No, what is that guy's name? Not Bill Maher. Bill. The guy. The old comedian Guy Cosby. Murray. Thank you, Murray.

[B]

That was my next guess.

[A]

That movie was great. St. Cloud or something. It was like a series. So she did. She. But like, she eventually went back to what she does. Yeah. And it's like, it's. Sometimes it's okay to just, like, have a lane.

[B]

Totally. You know, I totally agree.

[A]

And I feel like Sydney Sweeney's really trying to do everything. She's the face of a million brands. She's doing rom com. She's doing scary movies now she's doing serious body transformations. And it's like, well, not everybody can be good at everything.

[B]

I would love to say that she's killing it.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Just putting that aside.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She's killing it separately. She absolutely needs to be in, like, a James Bond.

[A]

Oh, totally.

[B]

Like what? Like, where is that part for her?

[A]

Great call.

[B]

Right? Yeah.

[A]

Well, they did just name a new Bond. Yeah.

[B]

She should be the Bond girl. It would crush.

[A]

Yeah. I do feel like they're gonna give Bond girl to, like, a young ingenue who's like. Who's gonna be like, this is their first breakout role.

[B]

Sure. Yeah. So that they can pay her nothing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But also, that's like kind of the Bond thing. They make people out of the Bond.

[B]

Or she needs a DiCaprio movie. Her and Leonardo something. She needs something like that because she's.

[A]

Like the most famous woman in the world.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And a lot of her.

[B]

No, her roles are.

[A]

Her roles are not good.

[B]

They're not good roles. Who's her agent? Yeah, her agent's stinking it up.

[A]

I think she's really involved in her own career. I think she wants to emulate that of Margot Robbie. Whereas, like, Margot Robbie was just, like, a really famous actress, but she ended up becoming, like. She's a moviemaker. She makes all the movies that she's in. I. Tanya, Barbie. Like, she's a director. She's a producer and an actress.

[B]

She was also, though, in. What was that movie with Brad Pitt and Leonardo Diclosia DiCaprio, where she had that.

[A]

That role once upon a time in Hollywood.

[B]

Once upon a time.

[A]

And also Wolf of Wall Street.

[B]

Like, yeah, she had those roles.

[A]

She's on the Oscar level. Sydney's, like, trying to get there in a really weird way.

[B]

Yeah, she doesn't. She doesn't have those roles yet, and she needs those roles.

[A]

I have roles.

[B]

I have roles, too. The.

[A]

The final story is, like, some of the best news I've ever heard. What?

[B]

I have rules.

[A]

Why are you laughing?

[B]

I have rules, too. So relatable.

[A]

After the final story is like.

[B]

Like.

[A]

And it's hard for me to talk about my boyfriend while my husband is here, but Robert Pattinson is talking about Twilight. He's doing a lot of press because he's in this new movie, I think it's called Die My Love with Jennifer Lawrence. And they're both talking like, she's. I don't, like, think about it this way, but she's in, like, a. A Twilight. She's in Hunger Games. And I know that's how she got her start, but, like, I never think about it. I'm just not a Hunger Games girl.

[B]

I am.

[A]

But Twilight is, like, the same level as. And so they've both been talking on this press tour a lot about their.

[B]

They're both in the same movie.

[A]

They're in it together. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God. I have to see this movie.

[A]

Yeah. It's not what you think it is.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

It's like a turnt movie, I think, about, like, to turn. No, I don't actually. Don't know. I think they have a baby and, like, it gets weird. I don't know. But I'll see it with you. Happily.

[B]

It's not like it should have been like, a Twilight or like.

[A]

No, it's not. It's nothing like that. It's not.

[B]

Nothing like extraterrestrial.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

Weird. Okay.

[A]

But they're doing press and they're both talking about their respective franchises. And he said he would definitely return to Twilight as Edward Cullen to see if he was ever offered the role. And they, you know, there was a prequel movie. Not a prequel, a prequel book. The girl who wrote Twilight just did a prequel. She also did like another set of books written from Edwards pov. She like, keeps turning shit out, so they might make more and more than a decade after the Twilight Saga has ended, fans are once again wondering whether Robert Pattinson would ever return to the role that made him a global heartthrob. He played Edward Cullen and when asked, he said, oh, yeah, definitely. Jennifer Lawrence asked him. They did like that Vanity Fair lie detector test where you ask actors like pressing questions and put them on a lie detector test and the lie detector says if they're lying. And so Jennifer Lawrence asked him if he would ever be willing to reprise his role and he replied without hesitation, oh, definitely. Lawrence acted surprised. She cautioned him that he probably shouldn't return to Twilight. Pattinson laughed and added, it would be fantastic. I enjoy taking roles from younger actors. I want to be 17 again. Which is a hilarious response. Who knew Robert Pattinson was funny, by the way?

[B]

He could do fun funny. He is an amazing actor.

[A]

Agreed.

[B]

She is an amazing actress.

[A]

And I know, I know.

[B]

I'd love to watch him go funny though.

[A]

I know the toasters are like, sick of me. Like the. Me and Jackie talk about this all the time. Because Twilight is like considered like a low brow teen.

[B]

It's an incredible franchise.

[A]

Not only is it incredible, it is the best acting, writing, cinematic. I know it. No, no, but that's like when people say like, that's like when people say like One Direction is like shitty pop music. It's some of the best music ever made.

[B]

Some. Sure.

[A]

And Twilight is like an exercise in excellent acting, excellent producing, excellent directing, excellent location scouting. Excellent.

[B]

It is an excellent franchise.

[A]

Yeah, but you're saying it like it like. No, no, it deserves an Oscar.

[B]

I can think of one better right now.

[A]

What?

[B]

That you fucking see. No.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Harry Potter is a hunt, by the way. And I love Harry Potter. Harry Potter's.

[A]

Ah, no, it's just as good as Twilight.

[B]

It's just as good as Twilight. Yeah. Okay. Okay. What's better that you refuse to see Batman? The trilogy of Batman is by far the greatest trilogy ever made. Christian Bale. Unbelievable.

[A]

It's okay to be wrong.

[B]

Believable. No. And by the way, sorry, Pattinson, that was not a good Batman.

[A]

Actually.

[B]

That's not Your fault.

[A]

You didn't even see it.

[B]

I saw it. I saw it on a plane. Pattinson.

[A]

Well, it was gonna be bad if you saw it on a plane.

[B]

No, but Pattinson was good in it. It's not his fault. It's like, I don't know why they like to make these like weird superhero movies that are like a little bit mental, healthy and dark. It's just like I don't give a shit.

[A]

Right?

[B]

I want to see you fly through the air and beat up bad guys.

[A]

You're wrong.

[B]

Twilight at the therapist office.

[A]

Twilight is some of the best.

[B]

No, I agreed with shit ever made. But the Batman trilogy is better. Is Twilight a trilogy?

[A]

It's a five part. And you've seen them all.

[B]

Yeah, they went on a little too long.

[A]

No, there's just one weird one new moon when like there's like this army of like zombies coming. Yeah, that one wasn't great. With the exception. Twilight 1 and Twilight 4 and 5 are the best ever. So Twilight 1 is the best movie because it's the original. And then Twilight 2 is like a good one, but Edward's barely in it because like they break up and it's really annoying and no offense, like, we need Edward. Twilight 3 is where they totally lose the plot. Like it's this really nuts thing. Four and five, some of the best ever made.

[B]

Dark Knight Rises. No Heath Ledger. No, Heath Ledger was unbelievable.

[A]

I believe it. It's just not as good as Twilight.

[B]

It's like not even close.

[A]

Yeah, you're wrong.

[B]

It's not even close.

[A]

The remainder of today's show is going to be dear Toasters and it is brought to you by Baked by Melissa. A new sponsor, but not a new friend of ours. We've been eating Baked by Melissa and.

[B]

We love Melissa and we.

[A]

Yeah, we know Melissa personally, dear friend. So finding the perfect gift can feel impossible. You want something that's thoughtful, fun and guaranteed to make people smile. And that's why Baked by Melissa is truly our go to. So ordering online, they have the easiest shipping. It comes in a pargy box. It's so thoughtful and everybody loves it because the bite sized cupcakes, like she really ate with that, you know, Nobody wants to sit down and eat a whole cupcake because you're like, well, what if I. Then you just have one little bite size. I'll have a little peanut butter.

[B]

And then you have all of them.

[A]

So good. The cupcakes are made by hand. They turn any moment into a celebration. They have beautiful gift boxes for birthdays. Thank yous. Congrats. Sending Love Sometimes you don't know what the right thing to send is. Sometimes someone's going through something tough. Baked by Melissa Slays Always this is it. They arrive in just one to two days nationwide guaranteeing that your treats arrive perfectly fresh. And there's something for everyone. They have gluten free vegan, no nut options. I have sent for, you know, congratulations for birthdays, for babies, for you know when someone was dealing with something tough. It has always surprised and delighted. They celebrate more than a hundred thousand birthdays since since 2008 and they've been featured in the Today show, Good Morning America, People magazine and right now they're offering our listeners 20% off your order when you go to bakedbymelissa.com toast that's bakedbymelissa.com T O A-T for 20% off your order. Baked by melissa.com toast highly recommend. If you've ever also want to pop into one of their facilities, they're in person. Stores can't recommend enough.

[B]

Fantastic. And in the airport.

[A]

Today's episode is also brought to you by Roback. They have just launched something so exciting, each time they drop something it gets better and better. And the newest addition to the women's line is the Bedford mock neck neck. The perfect cozy sweater while still feeling a little bit put together. The kind of thing that you throw on for coffee errands. Drop off and you still look like you have your life together. The Bedford mock neck sells out fast and for good reason. It's so soft it feels like pajamas, but it's still chic enough that people will ask you where you got it from. The gray navy colors have the cutest embroidery where the green is the and the green is the most perfect shade for fall. So if cozy is your love language, Roback's entire Ready collection has you covered with buttery soft hoodies, joggers and crewnecks that make lounging to the next level level. If you're in your comfort court era, which who isn't, whether you're post baby working from home, you just cannot wear jeans. Like for whatever reason, this is your move. The mock neck gives major Princess Diana energy and when you pair it with the Vista Collection leggings, you basically crack the code on looking cute and feeling like you're wrapped in a cloud. So the Bedford Mock neck and the Vista Collection are the dynamic duo of the fall. So grab yours while you still can. They won't be around for long and while you're on the website, I Do really think that the men's items from Roebuck are extremely slept on. It's hard for men to wear sweats without looking like a slob who, like, doesn't have a job. And I really like the ones from Roback. They come in sets so they look tailored, they look clean, they look, you know, put together, but your man stays comfy. So don't sleep on the men's stuff and use code [e-mail] for generous 20 off your first order through the end of this week. That's R H B A.com code toast. Today's episode is also brought to you by Weight Watchers, the number one doctor recommended weight loss program. It is the healthy and safe way to lose weight, whether or not you're taking weight loss medication. They have programs that can support any type of weight loss journey. I have used Weight Watchers twice successfully in my life. Once when I wanted to lose weight and another when I wanted to maintain weight. And I'm actually using Weight Watchers now. I'm clearly not in my weight loss era, but I'm really trying not to gain weight. And Weight Watchers has a nursing program because I'm breastfeeding. They understand that, like, women who breastfeed need extra calories. And so they're helping just curate lifestyle. Like whatever area you're in, if you're losing, maintaining, if you're on a GLP1, they work in tandem with GLP1 medications. I'm a huge fan of Weight Watchers. I feel like it's the same, safest, best way to lose weight. They've also launched a new Weight Watchers for Menopause program. So like I said, they understand, especially for women, different areas of life, like, require different science. And they totally get that. That's why I said they have the nursing program, they have the menopause program. And then with Weight Watchers, they now even offer access to prescription weight loss medication guided by a dedic, a dedicated clinical care team, so you can lose weight safely and effectively. They'll even provide a nutrition program tailored to help you minimize the side effects of a GLP1 while you lose weight. So it's just an enhanced program. It works. It'll help you get back to feeling like the most confident and healthy version of you, which is the best feeling. And you can get started@weight watchers.com today. It is, in my opinion, the best way to tackle weight loss. And we do have an offer from them, which is great because, you know, we're always trying to help out our swirlies in need. So if you go to weightwatchers.com get your journey started today. I'm just, I've just lost the offer, so give me one second, everyone.

[B]

It's a good one.

[A]

It is. So weight watchers.com is the website, and then when you use code toast, you're going to get $10 off your first month of membership. The offer applies to select plans. Restrictions apply. Offer ends December 31st. Today's episode is also brought to you by David Protein. And once again, I'm honored to be sitting down with the person who's probably eaten the most David protein bars in all of America. So introducing David. It is a protein bar packed with 20 grams of protein and just 150 calories. It has zero sugar, so they're giving you everything you need without all the junk. It's 40% more protein and 57% fewer calories than the bars you've seen for years. It is the most efficient way of having a portable protein bar. You probably have seen them. They sell them all over New York now, like in every bodega. It's the gold protein bar. And I have loved protein bars for a while, but sometimes it feels like you're trading off calories for protein. It's like it has a lot of protein, but also like 500 calories.

[B]

Fantastic.

[A]

Sometimes there's not enough protein because there's too few calories, and then sometimes the flavor is just disgusting.

[B]

They're blueberry.

[A]

Yeah. Ben likes, like, some of the more quirky flavors. And a recent survey has showed that over 71 of Americans want to increase their protein intake, cut sugar, and work to reduce calories. And that's why David is just so popular. It really helps keep you full. Keep you full, but without the trade off for flavor. Sometimes, like if you're trying to eat well, like, you're not enjoying totally. And that's sucks. It really does, because I enjoy eating. And David gets that. And after weeks of being out of stock, they're officially back in stock on their website. And they're offering the toast listeners a special deal. Buy four cartons, get the fifth free. When you use davidprotein.com toast. Tons of different flavors to try. So if you want to take advantage of this offer, do so while trying a bunch of different flavors. And if you prefer to shop in person, not a big deal. David is now in over 5000 stores nationwide. Check out their store locator to find a location near you. All right, Ben, are you ready to help out some swirlies in need. I don't know if you are.

[B]

And let me tell you, you are. Are so lucky to have me. I really do give such wonderful, sound advice.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So lucky.

[A]

I don't know. I mean, I guess we'll see, right?

[B]

So lucky.

[A]

Okay, we get it. I also forgot to pull up to your toasters. Give me a second. I think I maybe had a song you're singing.

[B]

It's not unusual.

[A]

I thought you were singing the To Be Loved, the Dancing with the Stars theme song. Wrong. Okay. Dear Toasters, is this tacky or am I in the wrong? I know I chose this one specifically for you. I was invited to a kid's birthday party and the host has asked volunteers to bring food to the party.

[B]

Tacky.

[A]

I'd understand if this was a potluck or like a holiday gathering, but I've never had this request before. This feels extremely icky. I've never heard of this, but it's important.

[B]

And I'm sure you get this with Dear Toasters too. When we do more on mail on the good guys. I'm always craving just a little more context.

[A]

I know, but I also tell people to keep it short. I know, because we don't have time all day to read, you know, all the history.

[B]

No, brevity's key.

[A]

Now, obviously this is weird and tacky, but I just want to say one thing. I would like a little bit of context just on this person's situation financially.

[B]

I'd love to understand what kind of year has she had?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like if is she calling on the community to help something special for her kid.

[A]

Right. If this was a party for her, I'd be like, oh, that's a little self indulgent. Like, skip your birthday this year, but your kid deserves a nice party. And so if it takes the community coming together.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

I do need more context. Or if this girl's always on vacation and just got veneers like, fuck her.

[B]

So I think, yeah, let's. Let's take both scenarios. Scenario number one, tacky, where I don't know, maybe she's like cheapskate. She just doesn't want to plan anything. She wants people to bring food. That would be terrible. I'm going to. I'm going to pretend that she's not a cheapskate. I'm gonna say she had a tough year. She wants the community to come together, rally around her child.

[A]

And if that's the case, like, go above and beyond. Yeah, go if you can. I will say this is unheard of. Like, I haven't heard of this, but I think if she. I don't think the girl would be writing in if this girl, like, you know, everyone knew that she was going through a tough time because everyone would just band together for the kid.

[B]

It also leads to such, like, a bizarre cuisine assortment. You're gonna show up with two boxes of pizza. I'm gonna bring chicken masala.

[A]

Like, why would you bring chicken masala if you ch.

[B]

Masala is delicious.

[A]

I would go to baked by Melissa. Honestly, like, not to. Not to.

[B]

All of a sudden, we have pizza, we have baked by Melissa, we have chicken masala, I have pizza, and baked.

[A]

By Melissa goes perfectly.

[B]

I just want to say masala or tikka masala.

[A]

Okay. You're thinking of.

[B]

I think it's tikka masala, and I'm.

[A]

Thinking of chicken Milanese.

[B]

Yeah, both would be great. Okay.

[A]

By the way, chicken Milanese is low key, like a chicken nugget.

[B]

We have tikka masala, we have chicken Milanese, we have pizza, we have baked by Melissa.

[A]

Delicious.

[B]

I'm bringing Spritz society, of course, to the kids party. Yeah.

[A]

Now, I do want to say, my advice here would just be like to do an audit on this girl's social media. Yeah.

[B]

Thousand percent.

[A]

Like, if she's living well, like, Shannon told me the most hilarious story that, like, somebody who literally owes her. She, like a business person who owes her $50,000. Or maybe it was 10. I can't believe if I'm making it, like, more dramatically, is always going on vacation and just got veneers. And so that's tough. You need to monitor this person's social media.

[B]

That's tough.

[A]

Because if they're living well and their kid is not, like, seriously off, it's tough. But why should the kid suffer?

[B]

The kid shouldn't suffer.

[A]

No, he should.

[B]

Shouldn't she?

[A]

We don't know. It doesn't matter. Do an audit of the social media.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And if the person is going through a hard time, of course. But I don't think that's the case because this girl wouldn't be writing in, like, shady.

[B]

So was that the best advice? No, but you didn't give us enough context.

[A]

Okay, next up, I have a sister dilemma that I need your help with. My sister has a daughter, my niece. She's 14 years old. She's already going to parties, talking to boys. I always tell my niece that I'm here for her to talk if she needs to. And finally, for the first time, she opened up to me this weekend about abortions. Talking to we gossiped a bit. I gave her the adult talk about being safe, not doing anything she's uncomfortable with, and never taking from a boy. But I also encouraged her to tell my sister about him. Now I'm in a weird spot because I want to keep my niece's trust, but I also really want to tell my sister. I'm afraid that if I do, my sister will say something and my niece will think that I said something, and there won't be space to open up anymore. Do I keep the secret until she's ready to tell her mom, or do I spill?

[B]

Spill.

[A]

Oh, I totally disagree.

[B]

No, you got to spill.

[A]

But there's nothing happening. Just that she's talking to a boy.

[B]

Yeah, but, like, I don't know. I think you spill. I think you tell the mom. No.

[A]

Oh, I guess. Yeah. But the thing is, it's so complicated because you have to tell the mom. Like, I'm telling you something, but you literally can't rat me out.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

And your. The mom wouldn't want to rob her out because it's a way of getting information.

[B]

It's an information tunnel.

[A]

Yeah, but it's also, like, it kind of. I was waiting for it to be like that. You know, she's something. Like, there's no secret here, just that she's talking to a boy like she's 14. Like, that's what girls do.

[B]

Totally. But, like, I don't think that it's the aunt's place to be giving, like, the. The. Like, it wasn't a sex talk, but, like, it was like something.

[A]

It was a safety talk.

[B]

A safety talk. Yeah, I guess that's the mom's job. The mom should be having the safety talk.

[A]

No, but sometimes a kid won't go to a parent, and you just want the kid to have the talk. It's like, doesn't matter where they're getting the talk. The talk needs to be talked.

[B]

Sure. But, like, I don't know. This is tough.

[A]

It is. I do think. Okay, I've rethought. The mom needs to know.

[B]

Mom needs to.

[A]

But under the guise of being like, you can't fucking rat me out because, one, we're gonna lose our information highway, and two, you're gonna make me look like a rat.

[B]

100%.

[A]

And you can't be obvious either. Like, oh, well, are you talking to any boys? Well, yeah, I just told auntie, so now I know that you know.

[B]

Yeah. No, you can't go in then.

[A]

And if the kid finds out, it's such a betrayal.

[B]

Like, sure, but then why is she confiding in the aunt? The aunt is one degree separated from the mom. Now, you can find somebody completely random that has no connection to your mom if you don't want your mom to find out.

[A]

That's because you think you. You trust the aunt. You think. You assume that if you're telling me aunt and the an says, I'm not telling your mom.

[B]

I know, but this isn't. This is important. Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

If you tell me a secret and tell me not to tell, I'm going to tell my wife.

[A]

Oh, same. If you tell me a secret and you tell me not to tell, you're telling me knowing I'm telling Jackie.

[B]

Like, well, see, but that's the same thing. Yeah, that's exact. That's the exact scenario.

[A]

Like, someone just told me something so crazy, and they were like, don't tell anyone. Obviously, I'm like, okay, but, you know, I'm telling Jackie.

[B]

They're like, yeah, of course, but that's the same scenario. A sister told a sister, but it's.

[A]

Not about a kid. Kid makes it different and.

[B]

No, it doesn't.

[A]

It does.

[B]

I think you're over two.

[A]

No, it's different because you have nieces and nephews on my side. You don't have any on your side yet. Sure. So I don't think you can really put yourself in the position, honestly. But, like, if one of Maddie's kids, God willing, God willing, a million years.

[B]

Came to you with a problem, I'm telling Maddie.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Yeah. What do you mean, right? Gaslighter? You've been on the other side of it the whole time.

[A]

No, I didn't.

[B]

Yes, you, by the way.

[A]

I literally was. And then I was like, wait, I changed my mind.

[B]

Okay, so we're on the same side.

[A]

We're agreeing. Why are you yelling at me?

[B]

Okay, cool. Very good.

[A]

Good talk. All right, our third and final do your toasters.

[B]

Very good.

[A]

This one's a little freaky. Oh, I'm about to turn spooky. I'm about to turn 30, and I've been saving to freeze my eggs as a birthday gift to myself. After talking with my OB gyn, I learned that freezing embryos is a safer option since they are more likely to survive the thawing process than eggs alone. So she basically wants to get sperm with the eggs, like before.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Her dilemma is, would it be crazy to ask my previous friends with benefits guy to be my sperm donor? We went to medical school together, we're best friends, we fell in love, and we Agreed not to date since we're both moving back to different states after graduation. We left on great terms. We haven't spoken since. He's smart, he's kind, he's handsome, he's stable. And honestly, a perfect candidate. Would it be insane to reach out after all this time to ask, love you.

[B]

Is he single?

[A]

Good question.

[B]

If he's married. Weird.

[A]

Agreed.

[B]

You can't do it.

[A]

Or if he's even in a relationship. It's inappropriate.

[B]

Can't do it. But if he's single, what's the worst.

[A]

He could say no?

[B]

I don't know. I would 100 ask if he's single.

[A]

I was. I was a little on the fence, but once you said he went to medical school. I don't know why. Like, I feel like as a doctor.

[B]

You'D understand it a little bit.

[A]

Yeah. Like, it's kind of less of an ask 100. And the thing is, is you're building a baby. You are so social weirdness. Like, literally, who gives a. Like, we're thinking big picture here. We're on to bigger and better things. So the absolute worst thing he could say is no. And then what? He rejected you and you never see or speak to him again because he lives in a different state and you guys never talk. I'm also thinking this is how you guys reconnect. Like it. You said you fell in love. You're perfect for one another, but you live in different states. Okay? So move.

[B]

Move. One of you guys. One of you. One of you has got to move, right?

[A]

No. No. It sounds like either. Here's so many different options here. One, you stalk him. You find out he's married or has a girlfriend. You don't ask and nothing happens.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Two, he's single. You feel like I think that you should ask, and so you do.

[B]

I would recommend either.

[A]

He says yes.

[B]

Dinner, right?

[A]

Oh, yeah. You can't just text.

[B]

You don't text this. Like, hey, I know we haven't spoken in a while, but do you mind, like, giving me your sperm so that I can make a baby with the two of us? Like, why don't you ask him to dinner?

[A]

Yeah, you'd have to fly to town.

[B]

You. You rekindle the friendship. Perhaps you get in one last quickly.

[A]

Oh, maybe you get pregnant the old way. Love that.

[B]

You could. You could. And if maybe flames aren't a flamin', then at the end, you ask on your way out, by the way, you know, do you mind giving me some of your sperm? I'm looking to Create life, a baby one day. And I would love to see yours.

[A]

So. Yeah. So here are your options. Don't ask, he's not married.

[B]

Don't ask if he's married.

[A]

Right. Yes, he's married. Sorry, he's not married. You go to dinner?

[B]

Yes. Yes.

[A]

If things sparks start flying, try getting pregnant at the old fashioned way.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Sparks aren't flying. Ask.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Worst he can say is no.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

3. So either he says yes, you're good, he says no, you go through the traditional channels. A sperm bank is par. They do all the work for you. Diseases, college education, you know, all that.

[B]

Stuff many pick like through. It's like a magazine.

[A]

Yeah, no, I actually we were helpful in selecting sperm for the tail colors.

[B]

We were.

[A]

And then. Yeah, that was eggs.

[B]

Oh God.

[A]

And they didn't choose who we thought they should, but they got pargy sperm. We of course were rooting for the Jewish guy.

[B]

Yeah, pargy sperm.

[A]

But they got really party athletic sperm.

[B]

They did. Wow.

[A]

Handsome guy too.

[B]

Athletic sperm.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's good stuff. So I give great advice. You agree?

[A]

I actually, I. You know what.

[B]

I give advice.

[A]

Yeah, I give great advice and you do great podcasts.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

It. Perfect timing.

[B]

Thanks, darling. Ben, is that our show?

[A]

That's our show. I'm sure you'll be back. Ben's now like at a once a week frequency. Which we appreciate. Yeah.

[B]

This has been the millennial morning show that it comes.

[A]

Oh, go for it. Yeah.

[B]

Comes to you live every Monday through Friday and you can listen to this podcast everywhere. You get your podcast, watch us on YouTube, share our clips on Instagram and TikTok. You know the girls are really firing on TikTok. Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, folks. We will see you next time. Love ya. Bye.

[A]

Leave a message. Come here, over here.

[B]

Love ya. Bye.

[A]

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