Toast Herstory: HemRata, Jeese and Zelener (Original Air Date March 27th, 2023)

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Toast – "Toast Herstory: HemRata, Jeese and Zelener"

Episode Information:

• Title: Toast Herstory: HemRata, Jeese and Zelener
• Hosts: Jackie & Claudia Oshry
• Original Air Date: March 27th, 2023
• Release Date: July 31, 2025
• Description: Take a bite out of The Toast, weekdays with Jackie & Claudia Oshry.

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1. Personal Anecdotes and Humorous Beginnings

The episode kicks off with Jackie and Claudia sharing light-hearted banter about their week, immediately drawing listeners into their relatable and playful dynamic.

Claudia: “We are on our way to Friday. At least we've, you know, gotten the ball rolling. We're on our way, just like Mason Ramsey taught us.” ([00:14])

Jackie: “I don't know how you could. Please tell them, Turdi. What happened to you?” ([01:09])

Claudia recounts a humorous yet embarrassing experience during a physical therapy session, highlighting the awkward moments that can occur in everyday life.

Claudia: “So I come back, he comes back in the room, and I'm in my gown with my bra and undies, and he's like, oh, I'm sorry. You could have left your pants on. I was like, but you said just my bra.” ([02:20])

This candid story sets a tone of candidness and humor, making the hosts immediately engaging.

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2. Navigating Parenthood and Personal Challenges

The conversation seamlessly transitions into their personal lives, discussing the challenges of parenting and maintaining social lives.

Claudia: “I have no core, so I don't have, like, that. The core is what keeps you centered. Yeah, my core is jelly.” ([08:35])

Jackie shares anecdotes about weekend activities, including a notable fall in front of Mary-Kate and Ashley, which adds a layer of personal vulnerability and relatability to the discussion.

Jackie: “I fell in front of Mary Kate and Ashley. It was humiliating.” ([06:04])

Despite these mishaps, both hosts emphasize resilience and the importance of staying committed to personal goals, such as Claudia’s dedication to physical therapy.

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3. Celebrating Music and Personal Interests

Jackie and Claudia delve into their musical tastes, particularly focusing on Luke Combs's new album, “Getting Older.”

Claudia: “Growing up was such an album that really spoke to me. And I realized, of these two albums, like, I am Growing up and you are Getting older.” ([09:59])

They explore the emotional depth of the album, connecting it to their own lives and illustrating how music serves as a backdrop to their personal narratives.

Jackie: “It's such a good album. His last album was so good, too.” ([10:35])

This segment highlights the hosts’ ability to intertwine personal experiences with broader cultural discussions, offering listeners both insight and entertainment.

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4. Celebrity Gossip and Pop Culture Insights

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to current celebrity news, providing the hosts' perspectives on various high-profile stories.

a. Harry Styles and Emily Ratajkowski in Tokyo

Jackie and Claudia discuss the buzz surrounding Harry Styles and Emily Ratajkowski spotted together in Tokyo, speculating on the nature of their relationship and its implications for fans.

Jackie: “A little soon for a makeout. No.” ([22:25])

Claudia: “I'm really not interested in dating Harry Styles. I am happily married, lest we forget.” ([25:17])

They express skepticism about the longevity of this potential relationship, considering Harry's recent breakup and Emily's dynamic dating history.

b. Reese Witherspoon's Divorce

The hosts reflect on Reese Witherspoon and Jim Toth’s 12-year marriage ending, analyzing the impact on their careers and the broader entertainment industry.

Claudia: “I find I. I think, you know, the proceedings. She's so rich now, and they built that company. Hello, Sunshine.” ([34:07])

They commend Reese's ability to maintain her poise and business acumen amidst personal turmoil, emphasizing her continued success beyond her marriage.

c. Selena Gomez and Zayn Malik Romance Rumors

Jackie and Claudia explore rumors of Selena Gomez and Zayn Malik dating, questioning the credibility of the reports and discussing the potential fallout for their respective relationships.

Claudia: “It's a stunt. Or, you know, like because now we're all talking about Clarissa or whatever her name was.” ([45:18])

They express doubt about the authenticity of the claims, highlighting the need for more evidence before accepting such rumors as true.

d. Gwyneth Paltrow's Trial

The conversation shifts to Gwyneth Paltrow’s trial, where the hosts critique the legal proceedings and the public’s perception of her statements.

Jackie: “This whole trial is a farce. It's a circus. And like, yeah, it's funny in the pop culture.” ([27:11])

They condemn the perceived misuse of the judicial system and Paltrow's handling of the situation, labeling it as both moronic and an abuse of justice.

e. Kelly Clarkson's Divorce Album "Chemistry"

Kelly Clarkson's upcoming album, inspired by her divorce, is discussed with an eye toward its emotional depth and authenticity.

Claudia: “It's not just like angry, sad, bad. Like it's a whole range of emotions.” ([50:01])

The hosts anticipate the album's mature exploration of relationships and personal growth, praising Clarkson's thoughtful approach to her music.

f. Adele's Las Vegas Residency

Adele's extended Las Vegas residency and concert film are lauded as significant accomplishments, with the hosts expressing excitement over her continued success.

Jackie: “She's not built for that. So to take a 45 minute flight once a week.” ([58:32])

They admire Adele's ability to balance her career with personal life, noting how the residency offers stability and financial success without the rigors of constant touring.

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5. TV Show Discussion: "Succession" Season 4 Premiere

Towards the end of the episode, Jackie and Claudia critique the latest season premiere of the TV show "Succession," sharing their frustrations with the show's direction and character development.

Claudia: “The show, you guys, I have to tell you, is so bad.” ([60:46])

Jackie: “Every time they say something, they've said absolutely nothing.” ([64:10])

They express disappointment with the lack of substantial plot progression and the repetitive power struggles among the Roy family members, highlighting specific plot points that they find unengaging or nonsensical.

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6. Final Thoughts and Wrap-Up

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts reaffirm their strong opinions on the topics discussed, maintaining their candid and humorous rapport.

Claudia: “I don't believe it.” ([44:05])

Jackie: “I'm glad he's home and back with his turd, though.” ([56:46])

They wrap up with a humorous exchange about potential future shows, leaving listeners with a sense of anticipation for upcoming episodes.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Claudia on Physical Therapy Embarrassment: “[02:20] ‘He said just leave your bra. I was like, damn, okay.’”
• Jackie on Falling in Front of Celebrities: “[06:04] ‘I fell in front of Mary Kate and Ashley. It was humiliating.’”
• Claudia on Luke Combs's Album: “[09:59] ‘Growing up was such an album that really spoke to me.’”
• Jackie on Reese Witherspoon: “[34:07] ‘She's so rich now, and they built that company. Hello, Sunshine.’”
• Claudia on Selena Gomez and Zayn Malik: “[45:18] ‘It's a stunt.’”
• Jackie on "Succession": “[60:46] ‘The show, you guys, I have to tell you, is so bad.’”
• Claudia on Kelly Clarkson’s Album: “[50:01] ‘It's a whole range of emotions.’”

---

Conclusion:

In this episode of "The Toast," Jackie and Claudia Oshry blend personal stories with sharp critiques of current celebrity news and pop culture phenomena. Their candid conversations, sprinkled with humor and relatable anecdotes, provide listeners with both entertainment and insightful commentary. Whether discussing the intricacies of celebrity relationships or dissecting popular TV shows, the hosts maintain an engaging and dynamic dialogue that resonates with a wide audience.

Transcript

[A]

Good morning, millennials.

[B]

Welcome back to the toast. Happy Monday. Sigh. Gasp. Eek. It's all right. It's all right. You want to know why?

[A]

Why, Turdy Lou?

[B]

Because we are on our way to Friday. At least we've, you know, gotten the ball rolling. We're on our way, just like Mason Ramsey taught us.

[A]

Yeah, no, it's a great Monday. I'm happy to be back with my girl Claire. Claudia. We didn't really catch up that much this weekend, so I kind of, like, want to know what's going on with you. How's Turdy? What's new with Turdi? How's Theo?

[B]

Theo's doing well. Turdy's okay.

[A]

What's wrong, Turdy?

[B]

Well, Turdi, you know, had an incident.

[A]

Oh, goodness me.

[B]

Turdi, you know, has been talking a lot about how she wants to try physical therapy. She went. I went on Friday after the show, and I so wish I went on Thursday just so I could have told the story on the podcast on Friday when it was fresh. But quite possibly, the most humiliating thing happened to me at physical therapy. Like, I haven't recovered since Friday.

[A]

I don't know how you could. Please tell them, Turdi. What happened to you?

[B]

Well, it just started out where, like, the physical therapist was, like, a really handsome guy, which I just feel like is wrong. Like, I don't like. It's just. It's. It's a power imbalance, you know, he was so handsome, and it just. I felt uncomfortable, to be honest. And the most embarrassing thing. So I get there, and I'm, like, so excited because, like, I really. And he was able to. He asked me, like, a bunch of questions, first, sat me down, and he was really able to diagnose me. I think I have a slip disc, and it's something that, like, stretches and, you know, weekly sessions for a few weeks really should be able. It's very common. So it had nothing to do with my boobs. I thought, like, he was like, no, your boobs will really give you, like, upper back pain. And I have, like, lower to middle back pain. So I felt good. I was getting diagnosed. And then he was like, all right, put the gown on, and we'll do some stretches. And, like, this machine. I was like. I was so excited. And he said. I was like, wow, a gown. I wasn't expecting that. He was like, just leave your bra on. I was like, damn, okay. And I was thinking. I'm like, there's no way he didn't also want me to leave my undies on. Like, I'm not going to be bare vagina on this table. Like, this is physical therapy, not like a spa.

[A]

Even still at the spa, I keep my undies on.

[B]

But, like, not everyone does, you know, it is optional. It's optional. I was just like. He definitely meant like, just leave your undergarments on. Not just my bra.

[A]

Yeah, he just probably doesn't know how, like, women's tings work.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. So I was like, you know what? I'm gonna do something crazy. I'm gonna leave my undies on. Because there's no way. There's no way. So I come back, he comes back in the room, and I'm in my gown with my bra and undies, and he's like, oh, oh, I'm sorry. You could have left your pants on. I was like, but you said just my bra. And I guess he meant, like, we're doing my back, so, like, why would my bottoms be even? And I should have, like, thought that way. But I was just listening. Like, I was following the rules and I was like, oh, I could have left my pants on. Thank God I didn't take my underwear off. And he was like, do you want me to leave so you can put your pants back on? I was like, please, like, thank you. And the session went on without a hitch. But like, my. My dignity was just destroyed.

[A]

Stripped from you, much like your pants.

[B]

And he did a really good job of not making me feel weird, but like, I'm so, like, I'm already like a self aware person and this was just like my first time meeting. And honestly, it was. It was humiliating.

[A]

Yeah. I can't even offer you words of support.

[B]

That's like an unburden yourself that I'm doing here on this Monday that we.

[A]

Just kind of have to sit with.

[B]

I know.

[A]

And there's no earning this burden. I can't even make you feel better because it's such a crazy story.

[B]

Stop. No, I know. It's so bad. Like, it was humiliating and I really, I. I really did try to not let it, like, mar my whole experience. Is that the right word? Mar? Yeah, because it was so fabulous. You know, I got a diagnosis which made me feel so good. I got a sickening massage and I got stretches and I've been doing them at home every day. I have to do them today. I've been really good. Like, am committed to fixing my back problem. And it was such a. It was a gorgeous place and it was a wonderful experience. But I. I'm blinded by. You could leave your pants On. I felt like a predator.

[A]

Like, yeah, you're like Pee Wee Herman at the movies.

[B]

Yeah. It's like, put your pants on. Oh, my God. It was. It was humiliating. It was. It was horrible. And he really. He really was such a nice guy, and he didn't make me feel bad. And then he was like, I hope you like country music, because that's what we play. And I was like. I was like, this. This is such a great experience. I wish I didn't ruin it.

[A]

Yeah. But it's okay. We're going to get through it. This is part of life.

[B]

It's just important for everyone to know. Like, before you judge me. Like, this is my first time ever doing physical therapy. I was shocked to even see a gown.

[A]

Yeah, you've only ever put a gown on, like, at the doctor, where it's a full body thing. Like, when you see a gown, you take your clothes off.

[B]

Right? Because, like, I really. I could have just laid there in my bra and pants. No bra and pants. Like, I don't know if I needed a gown. Whatever. It was just.

[A]

No, but he's like, that's how private he was.

[B]

No, that's how courteous. This man was such a gentleman.

[A]

And instead, we had Tertius taking her pants off.

[B]

Yeah, I'm. I am going back tomorrow, and I do think I'm gonna say, sir, you are far too handsome to be my physical therapist. Give me the ugliest guy you got. No.

[A]

Because there won't be anyone who can work with you, and you're stuck with a guy who you took your pants off for, and now you're calling him far too handso.

[B]

I know. I'm afraid.

[A]

Predator strikes again.

[B]

I feel. I'm afraid he's gonna hear this. No, I. I think I need to go with our lady.

[A]

I think I.

[B]

But you know what? Like, me and. Me and this guy, like, we made really great progress. Like, I am gonna stick with it. And you know what? I've already, on the first day, embarrassed myself to the nth degree. Like, how much worse could it really get?

[A]

History. I think it's fine. It's fine. Just stop, like, talking about people's looks and stop taking your clothes off unless expressly.

[B]

So you want me to stop being me?

[A]

No. Be. Taking your clothes off is not a part of.

[B]

No. It was so uncharacteristic. But I was really. I was like, you know what? I've never done physical therapy. This is how they do it. I'm gonna dive in and really give it my all.

[A]

And I gave.

[B]

I gave a little too much of my all. And I was wearing these, like, ugly under. Like, it was just. It was bad.

[A]

Do you see your underwear?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Full coverage.

[B]

I mean, do you know me? It was a little too full coverage. It was like a blanket.

[A]

That's good. That's good.

[B]

Yeah, they were like high waisted black granny panties.

[A]

You didn't moon him?

[B]

I didn't moon him. Oh, no. Imagine if I was wearing like a G string, like, hey, boys. Yeah, so that happened to be on Friday. And like my whole weekend was just kind of a blur of humiliation. I couldn't stop thinking about it. Ben was out of town, though, so I really needed to busy myself because if I had just like stewed on that and been alone, it would have been horrible. So I made myself busy. I saw my friends. I had a nice weekend, you know, Went out on Friday and Saturday night. She's a social girl. She has. She makes social calls. What'd you do? I went out to dinner. Yeah, I went to Carbone, your favorite, on Friday. Just like a low key dinner, you know. And then I went out on Saturday to Boom Boom Room, which I haven't been to in forever. Just, you know, saw the sights and I got home late. Oh, I fell. I fell. But you know what? It wasn't like an embarrassing fall. You know, the fall is really what started our entire unburden yourself segment. I fell in front of Mary Kate and Ashley. Actually, I don't know which one it was. It was just one, I think, Mary Kate. So if you have been here for a while, you know that that's what started, you know, the Monday unburdening segment. And I fell again on Saturday night. But it wasn't humiliating because I was with Taylor and Taylor, and, like, I can't embarrass myself in front of them like their family. Like, I wasn't embarrassed in the slightest. And this stranger on the street helped me up and he was actually really nice. And I wasn't humiliated. Like, I can't explain it. There was nothing about, like, I genuinely fell. It wasn't like I was so drunk. Like, I tripped. I was wearing big shoes. Like, things happen. I fell. I'm human. Shoot me for sure.

[A]

And I'm not worried about you being humiliated or anything. Like, I'm worried about your health. If you keep falling. Like, you're gonna hurt yourself.

[B]

I know, but, like, do you see the shoes I wear? I wear the biggest, tallest platforms. And I'm this tiny little girl who, like, has no upper body. Strength? I have no strength anywhere.

[A]

Like, that's why you're doing physical therapy, right? I'm building out for your heels.

[B]

100. But, like, I have no core, so I don't have, like, that. The core is what keeps you centered. Yeah, my core is jelly.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's no wonder I'm tripping all over this town.

[A]

Be careful, Turdy Lou.

[B]

I know. And I did. Like, I hit the deck. Like, I went, like, hands, knees, down on the concrete, but I didn't hurt myself or my ego. Like, I can't explain how some falls are just different.

[A]

No, I understand. I'm not embarrassed for you. I'm just, like, now, like, you're falling a lot.

[B]

Yeah, no, I have no center of gravity. I love to have cocktails, and I wear big shoes. I think that's a recipe for disaster.

[A]

Agreed. And so far, you've been blessed that you haven't, you know, hobbled into the toes on crutches. On a Monday morning.

[B]

No, on a Monday morning, I'm gonna come in with a boot. It's in my future. I know it. I'm so reckless. I don't, like, look before I cross the street. There's curbs and we're in the city. Bumpity, bumpity. And I was in the West Village. Those roads haven't been paved since the early 20s.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I'm merely a victim of circumstance. Honestly.

[A]

It'S a lot of things.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Including your own choices.

[B]

Jesus, you're such a teacher sometimes.

[A]

Like, I don't think teachers go that hard.

[B]

No, they should. The kids need it.

[A]

Should. But, like, that's really for the parents to do.

[B]

Yeah. No, you're such a parent. I was actually thinking this morning while I was listening to Luke Combs's new album, which I'm obsessed beyond, which is called Getting Older. Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's like a part of this dual album, really. Growing up is the first part, and this is Getting Older. There's a song Growing up and Getting Older. And for me, like, Growing up was such a. An album that really spoke to me. And I realized, like, of these two albums, like, I am Growing up and you are Getting older. Because there's a lot of songs about, like, parenthood.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And for. For the first part of it feels like Luke wrote the song when he was, like, thinking about having kids, the first album. And then the second album was, like, once he had the kids, you know?

[A]

Yeah. No, I really, really relate to this album. There's a couple songs that just speak right to my heart. It's such a good album. His last album was so good, too.

[B]

And, like, so good.

[A]

I still wasn't done listening to it, but for me, I'm loving this. I've been. I was listening to it all weekend. I actually think I'm gonna get in the car today and just sit in the driveway and listen to it some more.

[B]

Do you think that you agree with my call that, like, we are the two sides of this album?

[A]

Yes, I do.

[B]

Like, Luke probably, like, wrote it with us in mind.

[A]

You were. I posted that song take me with you, Take you with me to my story, because it was, like, my favorite and most emotional song. And then you were like, oh, my God. Yeah. Made me cry not to put you on the spot.

[B]

It did.

[A]

And then I was thinking, like, I'm.

[B]

Not ashamed of my emotions.

[A]

I was like, oh, oh. What part of this made Turdy Lou cry? Because I'm like, I know why I'm crying.

[B]

Because we're taking Rolled everywhere with us.

[A]

It was for Rolled. Okay. Because I didn't know if it was like, if I was like, is she relating to it, like, as the kid? Part of it is, like, you know.

[B]

No, I actually didn't relate to that part. Like, when I was a kid, I didn't really want to go places with my parents. I was like, let me go. Like, let me be on my own. I'm an adult.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

You know?

[A]

Yeah. I don't really. Like, I relate to the parent part of that song where it's like, I just want to take you with me everywhere.

[B]

No, that's us. Like, we're always thinking, like, how can we take Harry with us?

[A]

Yeah. We're not doing anything if we can't take him.

[B]

No. Yeah. Like, Harry, like, whenever we plan something, like, Harry coming, like, first of all, increases the budget. You know, it increases, like, the time. It increases everything. Yeah, but we're all constantly, like, how can we accommodate?

[A]

Yeah, like. Or. But it's just like, how could we be somewhere without him? Like, why would it be there?

[B]

Is it worth it? No.

[A]

So I'm loving this album. It's a masterpiece.

[B]

And I also listened a lot to Morgan Wallen's new album. We have a lot of new music, and we have a new music story, Kelly Clarkson. So we're just kind of. It's that time of year where everyone's gearing up for summer. So, like, the releases are starting because, like, everybody wants to have, like, the song or the album of the summer, and that takes a while. So this is summer Summer, Summer, Summer, Summer. So it's that time of year where we're getting really good music and we're just. I'm loving it.

[A]

Yeah, me too. I'm a little overwhelmed. But now that I have a car, I have a wonderful vessel in which to listen to all this new music, so I'm feeling less whelmed.

[B]

Less. Well, that's good. I'm glad the Tesla is underwhelming you.

[A]

Yeah, no, it's been good. Tesla makes it so easy to listen on Spotify. Except I didn't realize I have to pay for a premium subscription to my Tesla. It's like $10 a month if I want Spotify right there on my. So Scream. In addition to other things, not just for Spotify. It's like a million things. Karaoke. You know, there's car karaoke in the Tesla.

[B]

Okay, that does sound like something. That should be, like, an additional bonus. But Spotify is, like, a basic human right.

[A]

I know. Well, I can listen. You can listen to the radio. You could try Sears.

[B]

Could you plug in, like, your phone? And then for free.

[A]

There's, like, no plugs. I don't know how to plug in my phone.

[B]

Scars. Turn. I also have not been to Florida to see your Tesla. I am coming this week. Oh, psa. I'm coming to Florida Thursday. There is no show Friday. Jackie and I have, like, a business thing.

[A]

WOMAN TINGS we're like a businesswoman thing.

[B]

So there's no show Friday. Apologies. And then I haven't made my plans yet, but I hope to still be in Florida by Monday, so we could just do the show together.

[A]

Together harmoniously.

[B]

I'm feeling like it might be acrimoniously.

[A]

Why do you feel such a way, Turdy Lou?

[B]

I don't know. I'm just feeling like that might be the. The vibe.

[A]

Sounds like you want it to be the vibe.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, a little drama, a little fight, never hurt nobody. I mean, people are always asking. It does hurt. Okay, I wanted to share this. Now that enough time has passed, people are always asking, like, how do you and Jackie do the show? Like, if you're like sisters and you're fighting, like, what is. What happens to the show? And we really, like, don't fight as sisters or as business partners, but, like, what was it last week, maybe two weeks before last, during the show? Like, Jackie and I, like, maybe, like, we just, like, woke up on the wrong side of the bed. We were. We were just, like, talking about a story. It was like, the law roach story. We just, like, Started fighting in the story.

[A]

Yeah. No, it was like, neither of us.

[B]

Would back down from the point.

[A]

From the point. And that we couldn't pivot out of it.

[B]

No. And, like, I. I definitely ended up being wrong, but, like, you would not let it go.

[A]

I didn't realize I was being that way. Like, so we fought literally on the show versus Impact.

[B]

Impact, of course.

[A]

But I was saying I didn't realize I was, like, harming you.

[B]

You were just like. Like dog with a bone. That's what I had said during the fight. And so we literally fought on the show. We cut it out, obviously, and then we continued to do the show. And, like, for the first maybe minute, it was weird. Only if you knew, like, maybe you would even notice it. But then by the time the show was over, like, we ended up with such a great show. So, so funny. It really healed us. We didn't even really talk about it. We were both like, sorry, move on. So that's the only, like, honestly memory I can think of in the last maybe three years where people have asked, like, what if you and Jackie fight? And I don't have a point of reference now. I do.

[A]

Yeah. We just got, like, stuck in the mud on that.

[B]

That's exactly what it was. We were just, like, digging on this stupid story.

[A]

We got stuck. We got stuck. It happened to the best creatives.

[B]

But then the toast healed us, as.

[A]

The toast does, because by the end.

[B]

Of the show, I mean, I think I speak for both of us. Like, I didn't even care anymore. Like, it was like, whatever. The show that was over. The show was great.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And it was like, it wasn't a fight worth continuing. It's not like either one of us felt so hurt we needed to talk about it.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

And now we can talk about it. And now we've said it.

[A]

And now we have. So that's a little toast. Fun fact for you.

[B]

A little bts.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It was an acrimonious day.

[A]

Twas that turned harmonious.

[B]

Harmonious. Because the toast is a harmonizing brand.

[A]

Just like me when I listen to Luke Combs.

[B]

Not true, but sure.

[A]

Charity, just wait till you're in the car with me. Like, I'm hitting these notes. Lucas crying.

[B]

Jackie is singing because Luke Combs has a low voice and you have a high voice. Jackie is singing the same note but in a higher octave, and she thinks that is a harmony. I'm not getting into this again. I'm not getting into this again.

[A]

Like, no. Like, we were driving all weekend Listening to Luke Combs and like, I was in the. I actually drove a lot this weekend, considering Zach was in the car with me. There was only one outing where he drove. And like, your girl was just like hitting these notes, harmonizing.

[B]

Let me. Let me ask you a question. When you and Zach are going out somewhere together, do you take your mom car, you know, your Harry Safe Kia, or do you take your Tesla?

[A]

So they're both mom cars. Really? And.

[B]

Yeah, but, like, one of them is an suv.

[A]

No, no, they both are. They're the same size. So it's like we kind of need to switch one of them, which isn't going to happen.

[B]

Like a convertible or a one car.

[A]

That'S really big because kind of both of ours are like, if we have guests or something, it's a little small for mid size. Yeah.

[B]

So does your back row of Tesla have captain seats or three seats?

[A]

So that's.

[B]

And then is there a back. Back row?

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But Zach's has captain seats and a back. Back row, so.

[B]

Right.

[A]

They're both kind of conceit. The same amount of people. Just depends on the vibe.

[B]

No, that other car, Zach's car is like the mom's suv. Not the way Zach. Zach is like, that's his mobile office. He's got literally like desktop computers in there.

[A]

He has a folding table in there.

[B]

He has a fridge. He's literally. He could live out of the car.

[A]

Yeah. No, you'll. First of all, I think you have the wrong impression of Tesla, that it's. I do car.

[B]

When we were in Lauren Elizabeth's Tesla and in la. Is it the same one?

[A]

I don't remember what kind she had.

[B]

Okay. I have to see it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I can't wait to drive it.

[A]

I know you have to see it. I'm excited for you to drive it. But most of the time when we. In the last few weeks, like when we're doing a family outing, we take the Tesla just because it's more fun. But Zach will drive it sometimes too. But yesterday we took the Kia. We needed the extra seat. Just depends really.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

Yeah. Bryce is comfortable in both vehicles. He makes himself at home low key.

[B]

Like having a baby. It's like low key. Annoying with the cars. Like, that car seat is huge.

[A]

Yeah. And then in one, like, nobody wants.

[B]

To sit in the middle seat next to the car seat. The car seat's like on your lap.

[A]

For sure. But you get to, like, play with her.

[B]

Of course. Of course, of course.

[A]

But then there's also, like the Car seat. What's it called? If you, if it's your permanent car, you install like a car seat base.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And that way the car seat just clicks in. It's great. But that, but then that makes that seat unusable even when there's no baby. Forever. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, for sure. Like, oh, these kids, my God, they just need to learn how to drive already.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

Get their own car.

[A]

That's my job.

[B]

Oh, that's true. You did just learn how to drive.

[A]

Yeah. So it's been a fun adventure.

[B]

That's great. And you know what else is great? The wealth of stories we have. I mean, after the show on Friday, you know, Reese Witherspoon, strategic queen, dropping in on Friday afternoon. Like, divorce. Then there was Selena's new man. Like, actually, a lot came out. We have a lot to discuss and I'm ready.

[A]

We should. We could.

[B]

Yeah, we will. I think we will. Yeah.

[A]

The Fast 5 stories that you need to know.

[B]

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[A]

Our first story, the story that's on everybody's lips is that Harry Styles and Em Rada were on each other's lips this weekend. They were spotted making out in Tokyo. Hot and heavy. And everyone is really, really shook about it. So he's in Tokyo for his Love on tour tour.

[B]

Yep. He was doing. He's all over Asia. He's everywhere.

[A]

Who knows what bring. She just happened to be there too. It looked like they were at some sort of small gathering of friends.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it looks like someone else at the party was the one who took the video. Like, this is not paparazzi.

[B]

Yeah. It was definitely boots on the ground.

[A]

It was boots on the ground and it was, you know, it was passionate make out.

[B]

Yeah. We are now getting all different angles, videos, photos. They were definitely making out. There's no, you know, way around that. It was definitely them and they were definitely making out. And people are shook. I mean, I think whenever Harry is tied to a new person, people are automatically going to hate it because so many of his fans feel so territorial and everybody feels like it should be them. And I totally relate to that sentiment. Here are my thoughts. I thought she was dating that guy Eric Andre because literally a month ago on Valentine's Day, they were naked on Instagram together. So I'm just confused about that. 2. You know, one thing about me is, how do I put this delicately? I'm not like an Emrada super fan. I feel like every time we talk about her, every time we talk about her, like, I say that, like, I feel like her brand, which is very, like, sexy feminist, is so, like, not my vibe whatsoever. So I acknowledge that I'm definitely biased. So therefore I'm not here for this pairing. I also feel like it's a little soon. You know, Harry just got out of a really long term, like, it was a long relationship. That Olivia thing, like, it's a little soon.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, a little soon for a makeout. No.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I am not. That's not who I would choose for him, knowing that he is, you know, like the second most eligible bachelor after Jason Sudeikis.

[B]

Sudeikis.

[A]

But I kind of ship. I think, like, they're so both eligible. They're so good looking. They're so single. Why not? They're pretty similar in age.

[B]

You know, it's definitely a more age appropriate relationship than the last time. And this one is, like, a little bit more obvious with Olivia Wilde. I think we were all like, what?

[A]

But I also don't think that they're gonna start dating. I think maybe the fact that these videos went viral will make them, like, go out again. But they were just making out. Like, I don't think they're together. Emrata has been, like, bopping around dating. She's single. She's with Eric Andre. She was with Davidson. She was rumored to be with Brad Pitt. Like, I think she's just seeing what's out there. And fortunately for us, this was caught on camera. But we were never meant to know about this.

[B]

Very true as well. Even though it does make me feel like it's a little more serious if she's in Tokyo. Like, why would she be there if not for him? It's not like she's filming a big movie in Tokyo.

[A]

You know, I feel like celebrities to like, fly someone out to your show, to the hookup is like, not okay.

[B]

For sure. Tokyo.

[A]

I know.

[B]

It's not, you know, North Carolina. It's Tokyo. That's what, like a 19 hour flight?

[A]

Yeah. That's commitment.

[B]

That's not a. That's not a flying out just to see. That's not.

[A]

No. Maybe she was in a neighboring country and they like.

[B]

Maybe she's literally Sean Mendez. I'm a couple hundred miles from Japan.

[A]

I'm just thinking, what's that song? There's a song about this. It's such a good.

[B]

Yeah, like Lost in Japan.

[A]

You got plans tonight?

[B]

I just said that.

[A]

I got a couple hundred miles from Japan.

[B]

Japan.

[A]

And I. Oh, my God.

[B]

But we're looking for someone to hold your hand tonight.

[A]

This is them.

[B]

Good song. Literally, that could be what happened. That's very true. I don't know for me. And I feel like I say this every time. Like, it's always like, who's Pete Davidson gonna date next? And we were like, you know, guessing. And then it was Emrata. It's so obvious. Like, I don't know.

[A]

I like when it's obvious, though. Sometimes.

[B]

I don't know. I just wish Harry would like it. Surprise me, you know, Date someone ugly. Date someone chubby.

[A]

Okay. But he was. Couldn't have been more surprising with Olivia Wilde. And you weren't happy about that.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe I'm just like a woman Hater. That's kind of what I'm feeling.

[A]

I feel like you're feeling the way a lot of fans are feeling, which is, like, it's never going to be good enough unless it's you. Like, the way you just said, like, someone chubby.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Someone who's a podcaster. Like, I feel like unless it's you, you're not going to be happy.

[B]

No, that's. But, like, let me really say, like, with my full body, how. Like, I'm really not interested. Not that anyone's asking. I'm, like, not interested in dating Harry Styles. Like, first of all, like, I am happily married, lest we forget.

[A]

Yeah. Right. Like, germane to the convo.

[B]

Like, I'm not available. Like, I'm really not available.

[A]

No.

[B]

And. But I think, to be honest, like, yeah, Harry Styles is so handsome. Like, if I could choose any celebrity, like, hypothetically. Fuck. Like, he wouldn't even be in my top 10.

[A]

No, I know. And I don't think it's that, like, in practice, all these fans, like, really want Harry to show up on their door and ask them out, though. A lot of them do. I think it's more like this just territorialness where, like, this possession. Yeah. It's like, you're always gonna have this block up about who he dates. Because, like, this piece of you is just jealous. Doesn't mean that you're seriously hoping that you become.

[B]

Yeah, that's true.

[A]

His next girlfriend. But, like, you just can't be happy for him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you can't see him with someone else.

[B]

Although, like, I do really. Like, there are parts of me, like, my. All of me actually. Like, I ship him and Kendall. Like, I think they're perfect for each other. Like, I don't think I would be feeling that way, this way if. If Kendall was the girl in Tokyo.

[A]

Yeah. They are literally so similar. I know, which is why it's just, like, this block that you have.

[B]

You know, I'm not saying anything I say, like, makes sense.

[A]

No, no, because really, on its face, like, these are two very suited people who are suited for one another.

[B]

It's also just so crazy to think how, like, Emily Ratajkowski, for most, like, the entirety of her fame has been tied down. You know, she's been married for so long, and so imagine if she wasn't, like, how many, you know, eligible men she could have dated. Like, that's commitment.

[A]

I think she's making up for lost time.

[B]

Yes, she definitely is. So can you blame her?

[A]

I just want to go on the record That I am here for this couple. I don't think it'll turn serious. But if it were to like, I kind of love that, like photos of them being styling and walking in the streets.

[B]

Like, wait, by the way, I totally forgot before the show we were talking about stories. Do we have a story about Gwyneth Paltrow's trial?

[A]

No, we don't. I know. She's going viral though.

[B]

She is like, let's just talk about it for two seconds because I have so many thoughts. You don't have to add it as a story, just like a separate anecdote. Obviously. This clip went viral of the opposing council asking her about Taylor Swift, because Taylor Swift really kind of invented the whole thing of countersuing for a dollar where it's like, you're making a point. It's not about money, it's about justice. And then she was asked, do you know Taylor Swift? Are you friends with Taylor Swift? It was so irrelevant and it really, I know we're all like joking about this. It's such a gross misuse of our justice system. It's an abuse of people's time. This whole thing is a circus, it's a farce. And like everyone is sitting there, like everyone online, it's like, you know Gwyneth Paltrow because she's been sitting there getting cross examined, like with a smile on her face because this is so stupid. She didn't do anything wrong. And everyone's like, not Gwyneth Paltrow being so patronizing. Really, I would be too. Like, this whole trial is a farce. It's a circus. And like, yeah, it's funny in the pop culture. Haha. Like at the end of the day, like this is a, an abuse of the judicial system. It's abuse of the judges time, the jury's time. Like, this is so stupid. It's not fucking real. Literally nothing happened. And it's moronic. Moronic.

[A]

But I mean, how can you say that with certainty that nothing happened, that she did not do this?

[B]

Because look at what the council is spending their time on. Do you know Taylor Swift? Are you friends with Taylor Swift? When was the last time you spoke to Taylor Swift?

[A]

Things happen every day, like where people sue for nonsense.

[B]

I know, but we're all like eating it up. And I feel like it's really highlighting like how this is. We're such a. What's the word I'm looking for with an litigious, litigious country, you know, Everyone just sees everything that happens to them as an opportunity to sue.

[A]

Yeah. Well, that's for sure. But I do think it's part of, you know, being in America is having the right to sue someone if you have been wrong, but also having the right to defend yourself and, like, letting it play out. If Gwyneth is being wronged in this situation, like, the justice system will prevail in her favor. And for this guy, like, if he really was attacked by Gwyneth, then. Then he'll have his justice, too. Like, that's really what the judicial system is for. I know it's, like, a waste of everyone's time, but that is what. Like, in any case, like, there's someone who's blatantly wrong and blatantly right. But we have to sit there and we have to talk about it. And, yeah, I really.

[B]

I really hope, like, nobody's buying what this, you know, victim quote is saying. I'm so. And, yes, I'm definitely biased. I love Gwyneth.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But, like, I don't know how anyone could, like, watch this trial and be like, yeah, like, justice for this guy.

[A]

Like, well, what I'm seeing is what?

[B]

And his daughter's on the stand, like, making jokes, like, literally auditioning for snl, like, it's moronic.

[A]

Yikes. What I'm seeing, though, no, people, this quote of Gwynneths has been going viral because the prosecutor asked, like, did you suffer at all? I want to get the exact quote. Like, did you suffer from this incident? Like, I know you had planned, like, an expensive trip in Park City.

[B]

Right.

[A]

What was the exact question she was asked about the losses that she had suffered from the crash. And Gwenneth said, well, we lost half a day of skiing. So, yes, facts.

[B]

Because it was so insignificant.

[A]

Like, people are, like, mocking her over her response, though. Like, you know, any slight inconvenience to your life. Well, we lost half a day of skiing.

[B]

No, because that's how minimal this whole situation was. Like, nothing happened, you know?

[A]

Yeah. Actually, I saw a quote from Gwyneth that from her point of view, like, the man came from behind her, he collided into her, and his two skis went between her skis. So it. Like, her legs. Like, her legs spread and.

[B]

Thank God she's so flexible.

[A]

I know, but she said she. At first, she thought it was, like, a sexual assault. You know what I mean? Because if you don't know what's happening and all of a sudden something's coming from behind and forcing your legs apart, like, that's pretty scary.

[B]

Yeah. I just. It's so dumb. And she's handling herself with the utmost grace because I could never.

[A]

But that's, you know, that's what the courts are for. And yes, people take advantage.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it's also for the courts to, you know, and so that people don't take advantage. And it could. Gwyneth could have countersued for $300,000 too.

[B]

You know what I mean? Right, right. And also.

[A]

But she wouldn't try to punish him. She's just trying to clear her name.

[B]

Clear her name. It would have been easier for her because the judge capped it at 300, 000 to just pay it and not. She's spending more on legal fees, honestly.

[A]

Yeah, but your name is your name Turdy Lou.

[B]

Right, right. So she has to go through this circus just to clear her name.

[A]

Yes, but having the opportunity to clear.

[B]

Your name is what makes this country great.

[A]

I agree. So you just gotta trust the process, Turdy Lou, Even though I know it can be harrowing. Your favorite thing to do.

[B]

100.

[A]

Are you ready for our next. Okay, so overall, let's move on from Harry and Emerata.

[B]

Overall, it's fine. It's not like the most original creative idea. It's fine. At least it's age appropriate.

[A]

Yeah, I think it's a little cute.

[B]

Oh, I, I'm, I'm so not where you are.

[A]

It's just like, you know, they're so good looking. What's bad?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Are you ready for our next story?

[B]

Yes, definitely.

[A]

One ship builds, Another crumbles. Reese Witherspoon.

[B]

And another sinks.

[A]

Another sinks. Reese Witherspoon and her ex husband husband Jim Toth are divorcing after 12 years of marriage. Reese and her husband are calling it quits. The star announced the difficult news on her Instagram on Friday. She said, we have some personal news to share. It is with a great deal of care and consideration that we have made the difficult decision to divorce. The actress detailed that despite their split, they have enjoyed so many wonderful years together and are moving forward with deep love, kindness, a mutual respect for everything they've created together. Their biggest priority is their 10 year old son, Tennessee, as well as their entire family as they navigate this next chapter. That's a nice name.

[B]

Yeah. You know why this is tough? Because it's a celebrity businessman bow relationship that didn't stand the test of time. I mean, and, and it was a successful relationship. They got married. They were together for 12 years, which in Hollywood is very long. So I wouldn't consider this a failure, but it's always tough to See, you know the businessman Beau celeb starlet duo go down.

[A]

Agreed. Though I don't think that this is a knock in the businessman BO category, because when I think of a businessman, though, I want someone who's out of the industry.

[B]

Like, right, He's a businessman, Beau. He's an agent.

[A]

He's still in Hollywood. And to me, that's. It's. Yes, he's in the business of Hollywood. It's better than dating a fellow actor, but still not what I would have chosen. So I don't feel responsible for this.

[B]

I don't feel responsible either. And I find I. I think, you know, the proceedings. She's so rich now, and they built that company. Hello, Sunshine. That was just valued at a billion dollars. They built it during. She built it during the marriage. I have to assume he was a part of it. He's a businessman, and they were married. So I wonder what this means.

[A]

Yeah, but it's not like when they got married, she was like some nobody. Nobody with no success. Like, I'm sure everything is extremely tied up and spelled out.

[B]

Yeah. One of my favorite things about Reese Witherspoon is the way she's just kind of navigated maintaining her status as America's sweetheart. And nobody seems to remember that video. When she got pulled over, I think she was drunk driving and she was like, screaming at the cop, like, do you know who I am? I'm America's sweetheart. That's one of my favorite moments in pop culture history. And I love that nobody talks about it because she's a queen and she's totally evolved past it. And she, like, built this sickening business. And she really is like, with her, it's like the cream rises. She's so talented. You know, a million starlets tried and star business, start businesses. Not all of them become billion dollar companies backed by BlackRock, you know, and she's really just done something so unique, like with the books. Like, she's really. Well, I think she kills it.

[A]

I think it followed a really natural progression, and that's always how the best things happen. And now so many people. I think it's her passion to emulate hello, Sunshine. But I think when she started a book club, like, she just really liked to read. And then she read so many great books that she was like, I'd really like to see this as a movie. And then she's like, hey, I'm a movie person. Why can't. Why not me? And.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, that's how the best things happen. It's when you try so hard to do something, she burn it in. That's when it's bogus.

[B]

Yeah. So she'll still be rich. Of course. I just do wonder, you know, celebs, they're all tight knit, you know, they get their prenups, post nups, they do all that. But California, where a lot of people get married, is a community property state. That means, you know, half to everyone.

[A]

Yeah. Well, I hope that they can settle.

[B]

Things nicely, harmoniously and not acrimoniously.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

And also, you know, she's now on the market. Add her to our list. Like, who do we see Reese Witherspoon with? I mean, part of me, you know, always will stand her and Ryan Philippe, I think, you know, that was just, it was a moment in time. But they have two children together, you know, they're both so good looking. Would it hurt to try again? I don't know.

[A]

I don't know. But I don't get good vibes from the two of them.

[B]

I do feel like they were definitely like young and it was fast and they were, you know, hot and heavy until they weren't.

[A]

Do you think she'll go like older or younger? This might be the time in her life where she goes younger.

[B]

I mean, she literally could have the experience that she played in Nancy Myers's daughter's film Home Again, where she dates a 12 year old. But I don't like that for her now. I think, I think Rhys is like really confident in her, in her, her, you know, age and her maturity. And I think she'll want someone who validates that, like someone on her level. I really, I don't see her dating someone younger. I really don't.

[A]

But I feel like her being with Jim was like making that choice, you know, like.

[B]

Yeah, true.

[A]

Like she was going into the business world. More like she's really in a serious relationship. Like I think whatever she does next will be divergent from that. Not saying she's going to go younger, but she. I don't know that, that it's gonna be what you're saying.

[B]

It's interesting.

[A]

You know, you always like, then just choose the opposite of what you've had.

[B]

Right. Just as like a knee jerk reaction.

[A]

Might be with like a backup dancer after this.

[B]

Right. Very Casper smart. Yeah, no, that's a good point. It's also just hard when you're such a powerful woman. A lot, a lot of people can't handle that.

[A]

Right. But that's why I think a lot of powerful women for a number of Reasons, but one of them being this. They go younger because. Yeah, young guys, they're not in competition with you.

[B]

Like, so true.

[A]

And there's already like a college, right?

[B]

There's already a power imbalance because of the age.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, so what's a little, you know, what's a couple billion?

[A]

It's not competitive whatsoever.

[B]

Such a good point.

[A]

So there it is.

[B]

Makes you think and.

[A]

Because they can, right?

[B]

No, and it's fun. Like, who, no offense. Who wants a saggy ball sack when you can have a fresh one? Like, I get it, I get it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Isn't that why you go younger? You know, perky tits versus saggy tits, Perky balls versus saggy balls.

[A]

Like, I get a few reasons, but, yes, aesthetics. Yes.

[B]

Right. Like, conventionally, saggy balls are not as appetizing as perky balls.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you for continuing to say saggy balls.

[B]

Who wants a wrinkly scrotum when you could have a, you know, a big fleshy one? I get it.

[A]

It.

[B]

I'm human too. I get it. I get it.

[A]

Yeah. But I think also after 12 years of marriage with a businessman who's like, you know, probably smart and has opinions, it's like, I don't want you to challenge me anymore. Shut the up.

[B]

Yeah, No, I don't care. Someone beautiful. I just need someone beautiful.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. So I wouldn't be shocked either if that's kind of like a rebound relationship for her just to feel something different. I get it.

[A]

Yeah. But, you know, they were kind of a staple in the industry, so for sure.

[B]

And they were very, like, low key to the point where you almost forgot she was married.

[A]

Yeah. But like, then all these articles are coming out that this was like, you know, no surprise to Hollywood insiders. They've been living well, but why have they told us they've been living separate lives for a while.

[B]

Right? Everyone loves to be like, oh, I knew.

[A]

Yeah, totally. It's everyone's favorite thing. I called it.

[B]

Yeah. Like, no, I've literally known this for years. Insiders knew, like, shut up.

[A]

Shut up. Are you ready for our next story?

[B]

Yes. But it appears as though you're not.

[A]

Now I am. Some new relationship news, Potentially.

[B]

Oh, this is weird.

[A]

Selena Gomez and Zayn Malik spark romance rumors after alleged New York City dinner date Selena and Zayn sparked relationship rumors after the two singers were allegedly spotted on what appeared to be a romantic date night in New York City. A hostess at a celebrity loved Manhattan restaurant witnessed Selener and Zayn locking lips while grabbing dinner together. On Thursday night, Clarissa Garcia claimed in a tick tock video that has since gone viral. She told Page Six.

[B]

Clarissa Garcia is definitely also fired come Monday morning.

[A]

Yeah, but I feel like. I mean, now she's in Page Six. Her tick tock went viral. Probably not worth losing your job, but it's worth a shot. You know, it.

[B]

It, like, isn't worth a shot because people who, like, make videos like this, they definitely have a moment. It's a flash in the pan. They don't really start careers on. On as digital influencers after this. Like, yeah, it's the one video nobody's. Oh, let me follow that girl who one time saw something, you know?

[A]

Yeah. But maybe if she has something, this could have just been, like, a little boost. And now she has, you know, her big thing, and we're all gonna be able to see it. I don't know. She could have just sent it to Dumois, but actually, I probably wouldn't have believed it. She said no one noticed them except for the hostess. It was pretty public. But no one really cares about famous people in New York.

[B]

Did they say what restaurant? That's also not true.

[A]

Say what restaurant? And that is not true. I totally agree.

[B]

Not true.

[A]

They didn't say the restaurant. They blurted out. They walked in, hand in hand making out, and she seated them.

[B]

I don't know. This is, like, one girl's account. And she also said, like, nobody cared. And I'm just telling you, if Selena Gomez is insane, Malik walked into a restaurant, no matter how cool it was, people care.

[A]

Also, like, Pixar didn't happen.

[B]

Yeah, okay, but let's. Let's play. Let's assume that this is.

[A]

They went to dinner. Do you want to take the making out at face value, too?

[B]

Sure. Let's say they're dating. Let's just say I can't help but wonder what this means for Taylor Swift. Like, that's really where my.

[A]

That's what you said. Please explain why you're, well, Taylor Swift's.

[B]

Best friends in this world for many years. These aren't, like, fake celebrity friendships. Like, they're real. Selena Gomez and Gigi Hadid. Gigi Hadid is obviously, you know, very tightly linked to Zayn Malik. They have a child together. What does that mean for Taylor Swift? You know? But also, you know, that also means that Selena has, like, some inside scoop from Taylor about Gigi and Zane. And, like, let's we not forget Zayn, like, smacked Yolanda Hadid and threw down the stairs with the elder abuse. Like, I can't imagine hearing that firsthand and being like, yeah, that's someone I want to date.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Like, let me bring my grand to go meet my new boyfriend so he could, you know, give her a. Give her the old one, too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I just. I feel like we don't talk enough about how Zayn Malik was accused of elder abuse. Like.

[A]

No, no, no. He was accused. And the thing to me, it's like, shortly thereafter, like, him and JG broke up for good. They have not been like, spot, there's no going back. Like.

[B]

It'S true.

[A]

Yeah, it's true.

[B]

It has to be.

[A]

And Yolanda, that was a wild claim. It's not like so and so said, like.

[B]

There were papers.

[A]

Yeah. That's why we know about it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then like, Gigi did not go back. Like, it's true.

[B]

Yeah. I'm in agreement.

[A]

So. Yes. Not really like, what you want to hear about a potential boyfriend? I feel like.

[B]

And I'm sure Selita has even more details about it from Taylor.

[A]

Yeah. I feel like Taylor has always told the line about a few of her friendships conflict a little bit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, because Gigi's such good friends with Kendall and she's such good friends with Taylor, and obviously there's bad blood. Oh, yeah. Cringe. And she's done a good job. I feel like even when she hangs out with Gigi or Selena, they don't hang out together, so.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah, she'll toe the line. She'll be fine. Plus, she's busy and is probably not paying attention to all of this. And I also. That I don't believe it.

[B]

That I feel is her saving grace. Like, she doesn't have a responsibility to, like, you know, Gigi or Selena right now because she has a responsibility to her millions of fans. Like, she's out here doing the most three hour shows, you know, twice a week.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She can't be bothered. She's traveling. She's. She can't be bothered to be bogged down with petty gossip.

[A]

By the time her tour is over, we won't even remember that this was a story.

[B]

Yeah. So true. Great call. And you don't believe it?

[A]

Not at. Not at face value, no.

[B]

You know, I just need a little bit more than one person's account.

[A]

No. And like, maybe they walked into a restaurant together. I don't think they were making out. I don't think that they were making out. And nobody cared and nobody took a picture and nobody saw them again. Just like with my chain smokers call. Like, I think they might have been working on something. Like, maybe she's working on something with a lot of different people. Has an album coming out. Like, they got dinner after studio time, I don't think.

[B]

Actually, I wanted to tell you last week, I forget where I was, but I met a toaster who was just delightful. And she was like. By the way, I was at the bowling alley next to Drew and Selena. Like, I was the one who, like, took those photos that went viral, and they were making out the whole time.

[A]

They were.

[B]

They were. And she was like. It was, like, the craziest thing that ever happened to me. I was like, oh, my God, Yes, Queen. Right?

[A]

She didn't have a photo of them making out. She did, and it didn't make it to the airwaves.

[B]

I don't know why it didn't make it to the airwaves.

[A]

Did you see the photo?

[B]

I did not.

[A]

You have to question everything, but I do.

[B]

No, I know, but I don't think a toaster would lie to me. Like, for real.

[A]

No, I don't think so either.

[B]

But, like, that's an account I believe, you know, But I don't know this girl. But now I know the Selena. The. The Drew witness. I don't know this witness.

[A]

I don't know Turdy Lou and sir didn't happen, literally.

[B]

You want to know why? You want to know why I feel like these two situations are different? Because when the Drew and Selena thing happened, the person who took the photos didn't, like, try to get famous off of it. They just, like, put the photos out and, like, TMZ got them. Like, the whole story being centered around one woman makes me feel like it's very possible this is like, a. A stunt. Or, you know, like, because now we're all talking about Clarissa or whatever her name was. Yeah, that makes me a little suspicious.

[A]

Well, Clarissa got. Is not the hostess. Sorry. Clarissa's friend is the hostess. And texted Clarissa. So now we're 2 degrees.

[B]

That's even more broke. It's telephone.

[A]

It's a. Yeah, but. And the text messages from Clarissa.

[B]

Go.

[A]

Are you ready for. No. From Hostess. Go. Are you ready for this? I'm screaming. Clarissa.

[B]

What?

[A]

I'm scared. What happened? Hostess? Tell me how Selena Gomez and Zayn just walked into restaurant. That's blurred out, hand in hand, making out, and I seated them. Clarissa.

[B]

Ha.

[A]

Shut the up, hostess girl. Everyone's out here feeling bad for Selena. Meanwhile, she's with Gigi's baby, Zaddy.

[B]

Okay, so now I didn't realize that that is another layer of. So this Clarissa don't even work at the restaurant.

[A]

Hostess just said whatever she wanted and she gets to keep her job.

[B]

Right. Unless somebody at the restaurant can make, you know, the connection between Clarissa and potential hostess.

[A]

But they can't because this didn't happen. So every big restaurant is like, we're Gigi and where's Zayn and Selena here? Not us. Not us. Every hostess is safe.

[B]

Not Clarissa. Sending every VIP restaurant in this town into a tizzy.

[A]

Yeah, but there's nothing. I don't think this is true.

[B]

Interesting. Okay, well, I need to wait and see if the more stuff happens.

[A]

Yeah, same.

[B]

I'm gonna need more than Clarissa's text messages.

[A]

Yeah, agreed.

[B]

Today's episode of Toast Herstory is also brought to you by Quince. With summer in full swing, we feel that familiar urge to refresh our closets. But we're trying not to waste money on pieces that will only wear once or just for one season. And that's where Quince comes in. As you guys know, Quince is a longtime partner of the show. We are huge fans because their products are timeless. They feel luxurious, they look elevated, and the quality is way beyond what you would expect for that price point. So it's kind of like a wardrobe upgrade that just clicks. So if you're looking for new products to refresh, your wardrobe cannot recommend Quint enough. It's kind of the partiest but also most affordable way to do it. So if you're thinking 100% European linen tops, get them from Quince. They start at $30. They have washable silk dresses, skirts, soft cotton sweaters. They're super versatile pieces for the warm weather, for the cold weather. And everything with Quint is half the cost of similar brands. Which is the best part of shopping at Quintessential. They work directly with top artisans. They cut out the middleman, and they're passing on the savings to you. They give you luxury without the markup. They also only work with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. There's so many pieces from Quince that I adore. Also, their home stuff is fabulous. But I have sweaters, I have trousers, I have cardigans, I have their home items. Their curtains are fabulous. Can't recommend enough. I only recently learned that they did home. I'm a big fan. So get your summer closet and upgrade with quince. Go to quince.com toast for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q U-I-N C E.com toast to get free shipping and 365 day returns.

[A]

Quince.com toast Next story Kelly Clarkson's divorce album is forthcoming. It will cover the good, the bad and the ugly. Kelly announced on Sunday that she's coming out with a new album called Chemistry. The talk show host explained in an Instagram video that she came up with the title after her acrimonious divorce from her ex husband, Brandon Blackstock.

[B]

I feel like we are so like on the cutting edge and like really have made the word acrimonious. Like I have this revolution. Yeah, this renaissance.

[A]

We love to do that for words. Acrimonious wench, Nefarious.

[B]

True.

[A]

The list goes on. I was trying, I'll start a list on my phone, she said. I was trying to find a word that really described the whole thing because I didn't want everybody to think I was just coming out with some just like I'm angry, I'm sad, like just one or two emotions. You know, this album is definitely the arc of an entire relationship and a whole relationship shouldn't be just brought down to one thing. So there's, you know, the good, the bad and the ugly kind of thing going on in it. She said Chemistry can be really amazing, sexy, cool, fun thing, but it can also be very bad for you. So she thought it would be the perfect title for the all encompassing record.

[B]

I mean Respectful Queen. This man has literally, you know, robbed her blind, tried to strip her of everything and she still remains like such a peaceful, respectful co parent. Even in the music. She's not making a divorce album. It's really probably will be more of like a tragedy.

[A]

Yeah, well I think one, like he's the father of her children and so you just want to be respectful because they will be hearing this with one day. But two, I think there's a lot of truth in the statement that it's not just like angry, sad, bad. Like it's a whole range of emotions. You know, it's grief and it's loss and it's, you know, I'm sure some of it is extremely bittersweet. And even when you're fighting with someone I know he like, you know, squatted in the Montana house and there was all this drama. But like you loved this person once. They were married for 10 years. Since 2013. Yeah. So almost 10 years. Like there's a lot of history there and I think that it is reductive to just be angry. And that's not true to the human experience.

[B]

No, it's a very mature take.

[A]

She's a mature queen, so why would you expect anything less? Like, she's not putting out diss track a disappointment.

[B]

What, what do we think? Like, there's obviously going to be like a lead single called chemistry. So what do we think the song chemistry is going to be like?

[A]

Sound like it's going to be like, you know, Kelly's iconic sound top. But yeah, the lyrics are going to be kind of country where they kind of switch up at the end. Like all these good things about chemistry. But then it was like the chemistry that undid them.

[B]

But like, give me a melody.

[A]

Oh, this is really your specialty. You do the music chemistry. It's like a hard music. I'll do the lyrics.

[B]

You're literally Drew Barrymore. I am Hugh. Chemistry.

[A]

You don't think it's chemistry. I think it's gonna be upbeat where it like builds and builds and builds. And like the chorus is like upbeat and fun and then it ends with like a zinger line where it's like the music cuts. Yeah, like, yeah, yeah. Like we like. I don't even want to go there, but I could hear it in my head.

[B]

What's the song I made up for Selena? How did it go?

[A]

Oh, my God. I could have better than a fat not myself.

[B]

I'm not alone Too much to dance with your heart yeah but.

[A]

When I go only I lonely in.

[B]

The dark.

[A]

So I think it's gonna be pop anthem. But then it's like one, two, punch.

[B]

You know what I'm excited about? I feel like our generation and like the culture has a entirely new respect for Kelly Clarkson. In the last few years. I feel like her brand has like really taken off with the show and her karaoke cover as her karaoke. I feel like there's a whole new audience of people who are looking forward to this. And so I feel like in the past, a lot of the music she released has gone underappreciated. I really feel that way and I think it's disgusting. And I think like, that this is going to be really big for her. She's partnering. Not partnering. She's pairing this with her Vegas residency, which was right when Covid started. We had tickets. She had to cancel it, obviously, and now they are rescheduled for this summer.

[A]

Yes, I saw that too. She has a 10 date Vegas residency in the works, so that's really exciting. I don't think I'll be able to make it. So I'm just like kind of devastated about that. But I'm Hoping that she will do a chemistry tour and bring it on down here to me. But this is her first traditional album since 2017. Like, the fans are ready. It's been six years, and I've never pressured Kelly into releasing new music.

[B]

No. Because she's really been killing it in all other aspects of her career.

[A]

And, like, honestly, I don't want this album for a few months because, like, I've got Luke Combs, I've got Morgan Wallen, I've got Mimi Web. Like, I'm booked in Busy Kelly right now.

[B]

She said it's coming sooner than y'.

[A]

All think, but she didn't drop a date, which, for me, feels like it'll be at least May.

[B]

Yeah, I need time. For sure.

[A]

Yeah. Her also. Her titling at chemistry, like, was giving me, like, Ed Sheeran vibes now that we broke down. His.

[B]

Oh, another subject in school.

[A]

Another subject in school. Because we don't know where he goes from here. He's done all the math symbols. He has.

[B]

He had said in an interview recently, he was asked. He says he has another, you know.

[A]

Symbolic thing he could do. The exponent sign. You know, the little Carrot Top.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know what he would call it, but something about, like, multiple of exponential. That's a good title.

[B]

Pemdas is better.

[A]

Pemdas tour.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's on the. He's going on the Pemdas tour.

[B]

I know. Let me just tell you how never once in my life have I successfully used Pemdas in an equation. Like, equation that had parentheses, exponent, multiply. That doesn't work. Like, you cannot convince me that it does.

[A]

No, it does.

[B]

Pemdas doesn't work.

[A]

It does.

[B]

It's a faulty equation.

[A]

It's an acronym for a reason.

[B]

It's a lie.

[A]

I think you've just been burned by Pam Dawson.

[B]

Definitely.

[A]

I think you have some trust issues and you have walls up.

[B]

I definitely. I'm like on an episode of the Bachelor. Like, I have walls up.

[A]

You know what you have up? You have parentheses up to your left and to your right.

[B]

Everywhere I look, I'm just kind of being closed in on.

[A]

That's so turdy. So tur.

[B]

It's the Pemdas she can't solve.

[A]

That's so turdy.

[B]

It's so mysterious, dirty. That's so turdy. It's the flashlight. She can't see. That's so turdy. Where are her beans? Yeah.

[A]

That's so dirty. It's the flashlight. She can't see. That's so turdy. Blame Ben Safer celebrity.

[B]

Oh, that's really good.

[A]

How is bs?

[B]

BSC is doing well. BSC is home. The celebrity has returned. Thank God.

[A]

And he made it out of the country. They let him back in?

[B]

Yeah. Of course. Ben was able to find someone somewhere in New York to get his passport to. They were flying to Miami. Ben was flying through Miami to the Bahamas. Ben waited for them in the airport, got his passport and flew out to the Bahamas.

[A]

That's insane.

[B]

That's Ben's offer. A celebrity.

[A]

Yeah, I guess people will really do anything for you when you're a celebrity.

[B]

Thus he got his passport.

[A]

So was the lesson learned?

[B]

Of course not.

[A]

Fuck.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I'm glad he's home and back with his turd, though.

[B]

Me too. Theo. Really missed him.

[A]

We know you missed him too.

[B]

Oh, desperately.

[A]

So sweet.

[B]

Hate, Hate being alone.

[A]

Yeah. Are you ready for fifth and final story, which is some more iconic singing female news?

[B]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Adele has extended her Las Vegas residency and is planning a concert film. Adele announced Sunday that she's extending her Las Vegas residency with 34 more dates between June and November and also plans to release a concert film. Saturday Night show was the last performance in her original Weekends with Adele series that covered 34 dates since last November on the Strip. Her representatives said Adele show will resume at the Coliseum Coliseum at Caesar's palace on June 16 and run through November 4. The June performances will be recorded and released as a concert special.

[B]

I mean, I don't know why she wouldn't continue. When I was at the show, she literally said, I love doing this. Like, I literally get to be in Vegas for a day and a half. I get to be at home in LA for the rest of the week, be with my kids. My kids love coming to Vegas. Kids, sorry. It's a dream job. She's probably getting paid out the ass. Like, this has probably been one of the most successful residencies for what hotel?

[A]

Caesars.

[B]

Caesars.

[A]

And it is a real Caesar's palace, right?

[B]

Since Celine Dion. Like, this is. This is huge. I mean, Celine Dion's was bigger, of course, but I can't imagine one negative thing for anyone who was involved in this. Like, everyone's making money. Everyone's happy. So many videos have come out. Like, Adele goes viral every week for something she does. It's so good for her brand. It's good for her. I don't know why she would stop.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And she said when I was there, she's like, I really don't like touring. It's not something I'm comfortable with. Like, I did it once and it was hard. Like, it's a lot of time away from home. It's a lot of travel. She's not built for that. So to take a 45 minute flight once a week.

[A]

Yeah. And it's like, everybody can come to.

[B]

Me, and everybody does come. I mean, Kim went. Everyone goes. Vanessa Bryant. Yeah. Like, I don't know why she would ever stop.

[A]

Yeah. But I think this is something that happens with Vegas residencies where I think it really is so lucrative, so easy. But you get kind of stuck in it, you know? And I don't think she's close to doing that because she's just done 34 shows and she's doing 34 more. But I feel like it can be hard to come out of that cycle because it's. You get into such a good rhythm, and as a performing artist who, over the years, you don't have a lot of patterns and everything is so up and down and up and down. Like, you really cherish the stability of Vegas.

[B]

That's why it's typically used as, like a retirement plan.

[A]

Yeah. But I think it's hard to get out of there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't think that Adele will have that problem. I feel like she's found a life hack for being a performer because she'll still release new music and people can come and not like she's going to be there forever. But I think it might be hard to. Especially harder to get back on the road after this.

[B]

Yeah. Because it's just been so easy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I'm glad.

[A]

Should we do a Vegas residency?

[B]

Kind of.

[A]

I'm down.

[B]

Although when I was on tour, I've only in my life ever canceled, I think three shows. And I had to cancel my Vegas show due to poor performance. Literally two weeks out, like, five tickets had sold.

[A]

We're not big in Vegas.

[B]

We're not. Vegas is like a notoriously tough market because people don't usually buy tickets unless it's for, like, Adele till they get there. They see, oh, let me see, Donnie.

[A]

And Marie, you know. Yeah.

[B]

So you have to have a lot of faith in the fact that people might show up that day and buy tickets. But I was playing a room for a thousand people, and I had sold 100 tickets two weeks out. I was not doing that.

[A]

Right. And so we have to hope there's like a thousand toasters in Vegas every single weekend.

[B]

Right. Right.

[A]

Okay. Well, both we can dream and manifest.

[B]

The other thing I wanted to talk to you about. TV recap. Was Succession.

[A]

Last night, I watched Succession.

[B]

Highly anticipated season premiere for the final season. Truly gave us nothing.

[A]

The show, you guys, I have to tell you, is so bad. And if you think about. I've been saying this, like, for so long, in any given episode, absolutely nothing happens. If you think about how every season has been so titillating since season one. And, like, where we started in season one versus where we are, season four, episode one. Like, seriously, what's changed? They still own the company. The only thing that's changed now is there all three children are beefing with Logan, but it's like, they could literally turn him around, stab him in the back, each one of them six times. And then, like, the next day, it's like, so, are you gonna call the kids? No, let them call me. It's like, nothing is permanent. No betrayal is permanent.

[B]

Like, think about what they've all done.

[A]

Not.

[B]

But Logan, the one Kendall.

[A]

Kendall. I can't ever remember his name. Think about all the things that Kendall has done, and yet he still, like, has his inheritance even, like, right. I think Logan likes playing this game with his kids. They're kind of only the only worthy adversaries for him, only because they have his resources at their disposal. So it's just like, he gets to spar with himself.

[B]

I mean, he is sparring with himself because they're buying that company with the money they made from Waystar, which is their dad's company. They're literally like, the definition of entitled Nepo babies.

[A]

The definition. And I think people, like, who watch the show are rooting. Some people are rooting for the kids and think, like, they're the future. No, not me whatsoever. But, like, if you listen to what the kids say, like, they never say a word of substance. Everything they say is nonsense. Every idea they have is bad. They really think that they, like, are doing something and that they have. Like, they know what's best for the world and for culture. And, like, they're literally so fudgeing dumb.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the fact that Kendall values pierce at, like, 6, 7 billion, which is probably worth, let's say, 7.5. He was lowballing them. Let's say 8 even. But they paid an extra $2 billion to end the conversation. Like, do you have any concept of $1 when Roman was the only one, like, trying to break it down for them? Like, oh, we just paid an extra half a billion. Just 10. The conversation. Like, what?

[B]

That's $500 million, right?

[A]

Like, what? That money could be used for other things. So, like, I don't understand how after this, they have any money left to their name. And really, like, they have this opportunity to do whatever they want with their lives to create the companies that they wish to see in the world that they hoped that Logan would have created all these years. And instead they're going to take 10 steps back just to fight with their.

[B]

Dad, go buy an old ass. Basically another version of atn, which they've.

[A]

Hated all these years and they think is so backwards. They're gonna buy that just to with him. Instead of, like, starting something new and light on their feet with. For far less money and, like, trying to do something new. No, instead, like their relics. Just like the relics that they make fun of.

[B]

So this is my first time watching Succession. I feel like maybe last season I had caught up with, like, the last three episodes left, so I binged it all. And watching it in full is much more exciting because episode by episode, like, really, it was boring. Like, I was bored.

[A]

Yeah. No, And I checked the time. There is like, a countdown clock. A call has to be made within the next 24 hours or 48 hours for a contract to be signed. We never actually get to the signing of anything. Nothing actually ever changes or gets done. We just get people negotiating on the phone and, like, talking so slowly with so many filler words. Like, yeah was so like. And they literally put all that stuff into the dialogue I watched on.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

And the way that these people speak in, like, such broken sentences. And if you. If someone will say a bunch of words and, like, when you distill it down to what they've said, they've said. They've said absolutely nothing.

[B]

Yes, yes.

[A]

And that's, like, the vibe of the show, though, right? People just talking to, like, hear themselves speak. And then of course, last season, like, Tom, big, bad Tom, like, he's, you know, all. After all these seasons, like, he's finally having his comeuppance. And, like, no, he's still the same. He always was because he flopped back again in this episode. And everything for Logan, he gave.

[B]

He tipped Shiv off.

[A]

He tipped Shiv off. He's the reason why Logan lost his deal. And Logan's right to be like, if we're good, we're good.

[B]

Like, you don't get more than that 100%. I just felt, like, so bored the whole time.

[A]

Yeah, I felt bored.

[B]

Except the conversation about Greg's dates. That purse was quite possibly one of the funniest things of all time. Like how they just judged her immediately because her purse was a Little big.

[A]

Yeah. But she was also, like, walking around taking pictures, and she was out of control.

[B]

She was out of control, but that was hysterical.

[A]

Yeah, it was very funny.

[B]

Like, little things like that make the show really funny. And a lot of, like, the characters, like, quirks. But, like, last night was just so much like shiv in the kids, and I just. I hate them.

[A]

Hate. Except for Roman. And Roman needs to go back to the other side. But it's like, in every episode, like, someone will make a final decision.

[B]

We're betraying dad.

[A]

And now it's the next episode, and I'm like, well, you. Are you ready to go back yet? Like, there's no permanence in anything that happens. And nothing has changed since the first season. Like, nobody went to jail over the cruise ship stuff. Like, even Kendall. And remember when he left and he was just being such a loser with his, like, art collective? Like, nothing. Now we're back.

[B]

He's back with the kids.

[A]

With the kids. Now they own Pierce. Okay.

[B]

I guess.

[A]

Like, how do they have any money left?

[B]

I don't know their finances. Like, I get that they're, like, uber, uber, uber, uber wealthy, but, like, it really confuses me.

[A]

Yeah. Like, they're all using all the money that they got from this gojo sale to buy Pierce. So, like.

[B]

Well, I feel like something's gonna happen with this gojo sale because they keep saying 48 hours and it's not done yet.

[A]

Well, I think that Logan should cancel it. So the kids don't have the money to buy Pierce.

[B]

Yes, Duh. But, like. But then he also doesn't get that.

[A]

But it's like, why did he need to sell it in the first place? What was the problem a while ago? That.

[B]

Because it stung no one.

[A]

Like an FBI. What happened with them, Right?

[B]

No, like, oh, one thing about me is, like, half the shit that goes on in the show in terms of, like, business completely goes over my head. Like, I have really no idea what's going on at any point.

[A]

Yeah, but, you know, like, the big ideas, which is that he's competing for Pierce with the kids in this episode. But, like, the stuff in the past, I genuinely don't remember. Why did Logan have to offload the company so hastily? Right.

[B]

Because, like, they wanted him out. Jose, the board member. That guy. Adrian Brody.

[A]

Adrian Brody, right.

[B]

They wanted him out. And the company also, like, stinks. Like, they have, like, no, nothing big. They wanted to buy Gojo, but then it was like, actually, Gojo could buy us.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. No, I don't Remember?

[A]

Okay, so now Gojo doesn't buy them. Okay, so what? So we're back to season one, episode one.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

It's so, like, nothing ever happens. They were just always on the phone.

[B]

And, like, they're always on the phone.

[A]

It's just so stupid. And nobody trusts anybody else like that one. The kids, like, don't even trust themselves or their own instincts. At least Logan. I constantly confused Logan and Kendall, but at least Logan trusts himself. But, like, the fact that those three kids can't trust that, like, they're actually gonna be loyal to one another or.

[B]

They don't even trust the decisions that they make. They don't even know if what they do is, like, the right move. They're actually not. Smart business.

[A]

No. They've spent three months, like, luring investors into the hundred, which is just, like, master class.

[B]

Right. It's like a startup that's been done a million times. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And it's extremely pretentious and elite and, like, only for a handful of people.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But they're willing to walk away from all of that, which they thought was a good idea, but they're not sure that it's a good idea because, oh, there's this old dinosaur that's up for sale that our dad wants.

[B]

Right? Right. No, it's moronic.

[A]

Let's pull all of our money to. With him.

[B]

Like, Ben watched the episode with me, and he has no idea what the show's about. I just basically told him, like, these are the kids and that's the dad. And I honestly feel like it probably wasn't even hard for him to catch up because all the that's happened in the last four seasons, like, doesn't even feel important.

[A]

No, it's not important.

[B]

Right. It doesn't feel relevant to this current story.

[A]

And, like, why am I supposed to mourn the loss of Shiv and Tom's relationship when, like, the. They've never been in love or had any?

[B]

So I went on Twitter last night to see, like, if people were talking about the show, and, like, you know.

[A]

If I missed anything, say, what did they say?

[B]

People were like, this scene is so beautiful. Like, them holding hands, being like, we gave it a go. Such a. Such a stunning portrait of a marriage. I was like, these people are fucking delusional. Like, this is not a marriage that's even remotely relatable in any way. It wasn't really ever real.

[A]

No.

[B]

And we're supposed to be mourning it. I felt no emotions.

[A]

No, it was a beautiful. I feel like, was the point It's a beautiful apartment.

[B]

Stunning.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

But, like, Tom isn't, like, a real person. You don't feel empathy for Tom. He's like this caricature.

[A]

Yeah. And he has no scruples. He's just looking out for number one. I think when he ties, when he attaches himself to someone else. Like, if he could just be loyal to the person that he attaches himself to. I thought it was Kendall, but then he, like, had to go and call Shiv. Like, I would be able to.

[B]

You thought it was Logan?

[A]

Sorry, I thought it was Logan, but then he had to go call ship. I would have been able to have respect for his at least loyalty, considering.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's not like he's an ingenue. And so in the last episode of season three, when he chose Kendall and when. And warned Kendall, I had respect for him for, like, making a choice. Shiv treats him like. Wants an open relationship, and like, he. He's going straight to the big man. But then literally, like that, the respect is lost. And it's so funny how if you probably look at the tweets from, like, season three, season finale, like, Tom's a man like Tom.

[B]

And now.

[A]

What do you think?

[B]

No, but that's so Tom. Like, I actually feel like Tom is probably the most well developed character. Like, he's so spineless, and he's constantly being spineless, and he's constantly, like, exerting the little power he has over, like, people underneath him, like, Greg and, like, abusing it. He's really this, like, insane, insane person.

[A]

Yeah. But the thing is, I would have thought that his character developed, but then in this episode that he had to call Shiv and say the Naomi Pierce thing and ruin the complete time. So he hasn't developed at all.

[B]

No, but I'm saying Tom, as the character, like, is so detailed. Like, you know who he is. I.

[A]

Yes. As a character on a television show, but as a real person. Like, no, none of these people, like, are really relatable in any way. In. In the way that they think, like, having no scruples, no loyalty, no one they can trust, and, like, being okay with that. Yeah. And just being, like, so miserable in their lives when it's like, why don't you just go enjoy your life and stop worrying about with your dad? Just, like, say, hey, thanks for the billions.

[B]

Right. I'm gonna go get on my own.

[A]

Instead of, like, constantly festering in this horrible environment.

[B]

The kids are the worst. Except for Roman.

[A]

Except for Roman. But he's siding with the worst right now. So he is part of the worst. But even when he chooses Kendall's side sometimes, like he's done in the past, like, he's not fully on that side either.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's just always on the fence.

[B]

You mean Logan.

[A]

Sorry, Logan. It's. Why is it so confusing?

[B]

Because, like, the names give the. It's like. Yep. Yes.

[A]

I know you're gonna say that woman's tick tock where she's like.

[B]

If you like names that feel the same.

[A]

If you like the name Logan for your baby, but you can't use it because you know someone else had it. Try Kendall.

[B]

By the way, they. They look the same. Like they feel the same.

[A]

They are the same. Yeah. I don't confuse Kendall and shift or Kendall and Roman.

[B]

No, I know Roman is Roman. They have the same, like, phonetic structure. It's something that's a plot hole 100%. At the end of the day, I stand with Logan eternally. He's the best character.

[A]

I stand with Logan, too. And also, so many times he starts saying something, and I was like, oh, this is the part of the show where Logan loses his mind. He has. You know, he's dementia riddled and it's time for him to retire. But then he.

[B]

When he was watching ATN at the.

[A]

End or when he was at the diner with his bodyguard. Yeah. It was like, Logan's lost his marbles.

[B]

Every time they, like, zoom in on him slowly when he's watching TV and he goes to call someone and he, like, literally can't even move his hand to call. He's like.

[A]

And he starts, like, babbling something. I'm like. Like, Logan's lost it. And then it comes out, and I say to myself, it's like, oh, fair point. Facts.

[B]

That guy does look like a thumb. I always think. I'm like, oh, this is how the show ends. He's sick. He's gonna die, and none of this will have mattered.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, how does the show end? The show is about succession. It's about, like, the line of succession. Like, does Logan die? Does he finally hand over the keys to someone? Is it one of the kids? Like, how does this show end?

[A]

I think. I think the way it started, the kids come back on board, and they're in line whenever Logan chooses to retire. And by the way, the whole issue with the show, the whole reason they're even fighting is because Logan won't retire because their dad won't die fast enough.

[B]

Right? They're so evil.

[A]

These are so evil. So I Think it'll go back to the way that it was? Where the kids come over to Logan's side. They also own Pierce now they have an even bigger empire.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And if you could just fucking wait for your dad to die instead of kicking it into the grave, it will all be yours.

[B]

Yeah, but which kid? That was the whole point.

[A]

Oh, well, that's something. They have to sort who's running Pierce. They still have to figure that out amongst themselves. Kendall Logan is never gonna choose one of them though he should choose Roman. Even though Roman is also disgusting. You have to remember.

[B]

And I know he's. But who is in a little disgusting.

[A]

Really like perverse stuff. Not even the Jerry pictures, like, like with the girl. I forget what it was, but he's like. Like he's really degrading and like he.

[B]

Has some clear mental health issues.

[A]

Yes, yes. But he seems to be the better person of the three of them.

[B]

Yes, I agree. And he seems to be the one with like the slightest bit of family loyalty.

[A]

Yes. And who do you dislike more? Shiv Kendall or Shiv? Shiv. Shiv. I. I really like. Kendall is far and away like the worst because he's also really easy to hate. But Shiv is.

[B]

Kendall has been so humbled.

[A]

I know, it's nice.

[B]

Yeah, I know it's nice when somebody's so evil. Like gets what comes their way. Like it's. It makes them more likable.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Shiv is just like constantly floating through life like bulldozing and.

[A]

No, she seriously thinks she's morally superior to everyone.

[B]

She thinks she's the smartest person. Like even when she was opening the door at the Pierce's house and like coming in with her new offer when she had the 10 million, she had this smirk on her face. I just wanted to slap it off. She was like 10 million billion. I like. I just. I really don't like her.

[A]

I really don't like her as well. She.

[B]

It's like they all got together and said, how can we create the most unlikable character in the history of television? And Shiv Roy was born.

[A]

The thing is like people who watch the show like one love it. And I think people.

[B]

I like the show a lot.

[A]

I think people like love Shiv.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

I think people are team Kendall over Logan.

[B]

People are team kids.

[A]

But even when it was Kendall versus Logan and the. The other two were just insane, the other two were like working for ways for Royco. That's also weird. A lot to say.

[B]

Agreed. Way star Royco.

[A]

They were working for the family business and still, like, talking to Kendall.

[B]

Kendall.

[A]

So it was really a battle of a team Kendall or team Logan. Like, people on this earth, a lot of people were t. Kendall. Maybe even, like, the majority of people.

[B]

Yeah. L to the og dude, be the og. And I'm still playing so good. That was the best part.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Dude, be the og.

[A]

But it was. It was terrible.

[B]

It was horrifying. But somebody like. Like Kendall would do that. Like that level of narcissism, like, thinking that's a good idea.

[A]

Yeah. But also the thing about Logan is, like, even though he's so smart and this and that, it's like he's actually not. Because he has nobody worthy to leave his empire too.

[B]

Right. He's surrounded by enemies.

[A]

His family. Like, so what? So. So what's all this for?

[B]

That's a great.

[A]

But I think he also fostered this environment of competitiveness and, like, mistrusting of the kids. And I think a part of him also likes it. Yeah, he's created his own enemies, but he. He. I think he likes having enemies. Yeah.

[B]

Well, it keeps you on your toes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So hopefully more happens next week because I was unsatiated.

[A]

Nothing's gonna happen next week or anything. But then when we watch the season finale, I think we'll be able to say what happened this season.

[B]

Right, right, right.

[A]

I think.

[B]

I hope a girl can dream.

[A]

A girl can dream.

[B]

So that's our show. Nice long one for you. I hope you enjoyed it. Hope it got you to lunch, maybe even dinner, depending on when you're listening to this. Have an amazing day. Thank you so much for listening to the Toast, the millennial morning show where we Deliver the Fast 5 stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as podcast anywhere podcast can be found. So it's about June seat your public radio. I already castbox all the places in podcast financial about a beautiful sending and wickedly talented we are. Hope you guys have an increde. I'm gonna see you tomorrow for Tuesday Tuesday show. Bye.

[A]

Love ya. Bye.