Toast Herstory: I Want My Dinner Now (Original Airdate June 8th, 2022)

Summary

The Toast: Episode Summary – "Toast Herstory: I Want My Dinner Now"

Release Date: August 7, 2025
Original Airdate: June 8, 2022
Hosts: Jackie & Claudia Oshry
Description: Take a bite out of The Toast, weekdays with Jackie & Claudia Oshry.

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Introduction

In this episode of The Toast, hosts Jackie and Claudia Oshry navigate through a variety of engaging topics ranging from legal scandals and entertainment news to unique wedding choices and the latest in technology. Their dynamic conversation, filled with humor and insightful commentary, offers listeners a comprehensive overview of current events and personal anecdotes. Additionally, the episode features their popular advice segment, Dear Toasters, where they provide thoughtful responses to listener-submitted queries.

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1. Legal News: Todd and Julie Chrisley Found Guilty

Timestamp: 13:31 – 16:31

The episode kicks off with a deep dive into the recent legal developments surrounding reality stars Todd and Julie Chrisley. The couple has been found guilty of bank fraud and tax evasion, alongside their accountant Peter Tatino, who was convicted of aiding and abetting false tax returns.

• Jackie highlights the ambiguity surrounding the Chrisleys' claimed real estate endeavors:

  "It leaves a lot open for interpretation." (14:51)

• Claudia expresses skepticism about their professional roles, citing inconsistencies in their portrayed lifestyles:

  "They were always like, living this extravagant life and it wasn't clear what they did for a living." (15:20)

The hosts discuss the implications of the verdict, noting the lack of surprise given the Chrisleys' previously obscure financial activities. They also touch upon the potential sentencing and the recent allegations of Todd Chrisley's affair, adding layers to the ongoing legal saga.

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2. Casting News: Julia Garner to Play Madonna

Timestamp: 16:31 – 21:02

Moving on to entertainment news, the hosts discuss the exciting prospects of Julia Garner being offered the role of Madonna in an upcoming Universal biopic.

• Claudia draws parallels between Julia Garner's casting and past casting choices, mentioning Austin Butler for Elvis:

  "It's pretty good." (19:21)

• Jackie expresses mixed feelings about the casting, particularly concerning Garner's singing abilities:

  "I don't know why I've never read one of her books." (06:04)

Despite some reservations, both hosts acknowledge Garner's talent and her potential to bring depth to the iconic pop star's portrayal. They also speculate on other actresses who might have been considered, such as Liz Gillies and Lily James, emphasizing the challenges of capturing Madonna's essence on screen.

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3. Internet's Reaction: Minnie and Mickey at a Wedding

Timestamp: 21:02 – 33:34

The third story delves into a viral internet controversy where a couple opted to feature Minnie and Mickey Mouse at their wedding instead of allocating their budget towards catering.

• Jackie critiques the decision, labeling it as "delusional" while acknowledging the couple's autonomy in their choices:

  "But you are an unwell human being." (29:39)

• Claudia empathizes with the couple's creative vision but critiques the aunt's public disapproval:

  "It's definitely weird and definitely worth gossiping about behind the bride's back." (28:11)

The discussion highlights the balance between personal desires and social expectations, with both hosts debating the merits and pitfalls of prioritizing themed experiences over traditional wedding elements like food. They also reference the TV show Four Weddings, comparing the scenario to competitive wedding judging.

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4. Entertainment Update: Samantha Jones Returns to Sex and the City Spin-Off

Timestamp: 33:34 – 51:32

Jackie and Claudia shift focus to the highly anticipated return of Samantha Jones in the Sex and the City spin-off series. They discuss the implications of Kim Cattrall's absence and the show's plans to incorporate Samantha's character virtually.

• Claudia voices skepticism about the recasting or virtual inclusion of Samantha:

  "It's like literally the worst idea of all time." (23:56)

• Jackie speculates on potential narrative strategies, such as using a voiceover or an impersonator:

  "Maybe Carrie's on a Zoom with Samantha, but we don't see Samantha." (23:47)

The hosts critique the show's handling of Samantha's character, expressing concern over losing the original chemistry that made the character beloved. They also share personal anecdotes, including a humorous recount of their friend's negative reactions to the show's developments.

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5. Tech News: iOS 16 Introduces Message Editing and Unsending

Timestamp: 51:32 – 40:28

In the realm of technology, Jackie and Claudia discuss Apple's announcement at WWDC 2022, introducing new features for iOS 16, including the ability to edit and unsend text messages.

• Jackie highlights the practicality of these features for day-to-day communication:

  "This is what I need. Because usually I said what I said and I meant it..." (35:59)

• Claudia critiques Apple's approach to showcasing simple updates at major events:

  "Like, you don't need to make like a whole conference about it. It's so simple." (37:13)

The conversation covers user expectations, potential misuse of the new features, and the importance of clear communication settings. They also joke about the complexities these updates introduce into their personal texting habits.

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Dear Toasters: Advice Segment

Timestamp: 04:12 – 51:32

The episode concludes with the beloved Dear Toasters segment, where Jackie and Claudia offer advice to listeners facing personal dilemmas.

A. Forgotten Bridesmaid

Timestamp: 43:46 – 44:50

Submission: A listener expresses feelings of exclusion after not being asked to be a bridesmaid for her close friend’s wedding.

• Jackie advises maintaining the friendship despite the hurt:

  "I don't think you should throw away all the friendships." (43:28)

• Claudia suggests attending the wedding to preserve relationships but acknowledges the emotional impact:

  "You should go and have a good time." (43:11)

B. A Slightly Disturbed Toaster

Timestamp: 44:50 – 47:55

Submission: A listener recounts an uncomfortable encounter where her boyfriend's friend left a condom in the medicine cabinet, leading her to question their friendship.

• Claudia strongly advises cutting ties with the individual:

  "You really should never speak to this person again." (46:16)

• Jackie emphasizes the inappropriateness of the action and recommends avoiding the person:

  "Run, run, run." (46:07)

C. Peculiar Pickle with Boyfriend’s Friend

Timestamp: 47:55 – 51:32

Submission: A listener grapples with how to address a boyfriend’s friend who won’t contribute financially during outings, despite the friend’s recent breakup.

• Jackie suggests setting clear financial boundaries and addressing the issue directly:

  "You are not a charity and this behavior needs to stop." (49:13)

• Claudia advocates for practical solutions like leaving the check for the friend to cover, promoting accountability:

  "If he makes you pay, you then Venmo him." (49:13)

Both hosts reinforce the importance of self-respect and maintaining healthy boundaries within friendships.

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Conclusion

Throughout the episode, Jackie and Claudia provide a blend of humor, candid conversation, and thoughtful analysis. Their ability to navigate diverse topics—from high-profile legal cases and entertainment casting to personal advice—makes The Toast a versatile and engaging listen. Whether discussing the latest celebrity news or offering guidance on personal relationships, the hosts maintain a relatable and insightful tone, ensuring that listeners are both entertained and informed.

Notable Quotes:

• "We are harping LARP and harping. LARP and harping." – Jackie (05:22)
• "It's like, first of all, I think it will say edited if it's been edited." – Claudia (37:38)
• "Run, run, run like you run from it all." – Jackie (47:28)

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Join Jackie & Claudia every weekday on The Toast for more insightful discussions, current events, and personal stories. Whether you're navigating the middle of the week or just looking for some engaging conversation, The Toast has got you covered.

Transcript

[A]

Good morning, millennials.

[B]

Welcome back to the morning toast. Happy hump day. You made it to the middle of the week. Congratulations. Celebrate by humping someone you love. Jackie, get over here.

[A]

Might I suggest Bryce and Dyson?

[B]

That's always a good suggestion. I'm never going to turn down an opportunity to hump rice or dice. No, no, no, no.

[A]

Happy hump day. Can't believe it's only Wednesday. Yet here we are.

[B]

It's better. You know what it is? It's better than Tuesday and it's definitely better than Monday.

[A]

100%. Now, starting now, we'll be cruising down through the end of the week. It's like downhill, you know, the week.

[B]

Is a hill, it's an incline.

[A]

And Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday is the journey up, Wednesday on down.

[B]

Yeah. And you know what's cool about Wednesdays? Even though obviously it's not ideal, it's not the best day of the week, you're allowed to start having hope, and that can really fuel you through a long work day.

[A]

Yeah. And everybody hates Wednesday. Wednesdays, you know, so it's not like we're complaining.

[B]

Do people hate Wednesdays?

[A]

Yeah, because it's like the hump day.

[B]

I don't hate Wednesdays at all. Like, I'm like, oh, my God. Okay, now it's like, we can start looking forward to the weekend, like, on Monday and Tuesday. The weekend is so far out of my mind.

[A]

And Tuesday is really a nice day. A nice day. I think Tuesday's worst never hurt anybody.

[B]

I disagree.

[A]

Monday, of course, is extremely nefarious.

[B]

Problematic Monday needs to be canceled.

[A]

And.

[B]

And I know a lot of people give flak on Monday, but I think a lot of that energy should be reserved for Tuesday. Tuesday is arguably worse. We've already been through a whole Monday, and you feel like you deserve for it to be like, Thursday, but then it's just Tuesday.

[A]

No, but Tuesday, you've been eased into the week. It's not as stark as the Monday. You know, whatever you had waiting for you on Monday, you accomplished in Tuesday. You can. You can look a new. And on Tuesday, you're ready for the week.

[B]

No, no, I totally.

[A]

But then on Wednesday, you're like, it's still the week.

[B]

No, on Wednesday I'm like, there is a glimmer of hope. Like, I can see this top, tiniest bit of light out of this tunnel. On Tuesday, I'm still very much in the tunnel. You know what I mean?

[A]

Okay, fine. And then Thursday is just gorgeous. Friday is spectacular.

[B]

You know what? I'm gonna have another Hot take.

[A]

Like, oh, you can't be negative all negative all the time.

[B]

I wasn't. Let me say what I was gonna say. I think Thursdays are incredible. The truckers for Thursday are here. I think Thursdays are incredible. And, like, I kind of feel like sometimes Friday is, like, a little bit of a letdown. Like, it's kind of anticlimactic.

[A]

No, it's like, I like Thursday because we're so close to the weekend. We have it to look forward to, and then Friday, it's. It's almost like it's already here, and you need to start appreciating. Like, I don't like when something is here. I like when it's almost.

[B]

Yeah. You know, I mean, I have, like, a. An adoration for Fridays, obviously, because I'm human, but also because, like, growing up on Fridays in school, we would always get out super early because of a Shabbat, and we went to a Jewish school.

[A]

We get out of school at 5:00pm yeah. On regular Fridays, we got out at, like, 3.

[B]

No. In, like, the nice time of year. Like 12, 12:30, 1:30, when it would.

[A]

Get dark really early.

[B]

So some of my fondest memories are, like, just being done with the week and having, like, a nice window to nap before Shabbat dinner and, like, just the weekend could come. And that's, like, for so long, been my attachment to Fridays. But I don't really have that experience with Fridays anymore.

[A]

No.

[B]

So I kind of am loving Thursdays.

[A]

Okay. Do your thing.

[B]

Thursdays are the new Friday. Especially if you are your own businesswoman and you can cancel work on Friday.

[A]

And it's summer Fridays. And we also can't ever, like, we never cancel a show that wasn't played. Plan to be canceled unless we have the no, no virus. Oh, like, we talk such a big game. Like, yeah, we work when we want to. When we don't, when we don't. We are a slave to the schedule. We're.

[B]

Yeah, we're. We try and keep it really tight. And, like, I know it seems like maybe we take off a lot of time, but we try.

[A]

It always has to be, like, planned in advance. Ask for pto. Like, unless you. It's the no. No virus. That's really the only time we ever abruptly canceled a show.

[B]

And honestly, I really don't want to go down that road talking about the nonovirus, because over the weekend. No, no. Over the weekend, me and Ben were with you and a couple of your friends, and we were telling them about the nano virus because Ben had caught the no. No virus at your friend Rebecca's birthday party. And so we gave him, like, the whole rundown. And honestly, I feel fatigued and traumatized from that conversation. I can't talk about it.

[A]

No, I don't. I have no desire.

[B]

You're free from desire. Free from desire. So it's Wednesday, which means we're going to be hilarious, obviously. It also means we have Dear Toasters, our advice segment. So that'll be at the end of the show. And we've got a couple stories to. To tell you about some legal news, some more Disney news.

[A]

Claudia picked four out of the five, and you guys can guess which ones are which. Yeah, yeah, yeah, That'll be fun.

[B]

Totally. Also, since it's Wednesday, I'm being reminded of two things. One, last week, when we were doing Dear Toasters, I don't know if I was just, like, verklempt or overwhelmed, but we had three submissions, and I only read two of them.

[A]

That's really funny.

[B]

I have no idea why. And then yesterday's episode, you called me and you were like, wait, did you realize that when we were talking about the same Saint and Pete Davidson story, we went off on a tangent and literally never recapped the story?

[A]

We never even discussed what they did, who they were, what you need to know. We. We just saw the word Cheesecake Factory and we went down rabbit hole, and we never came back to it because I was like, you know, writing a little caption like we talk about. Boom, boom. So I went to look at the stories, and I was like, what did we say about Pete and Saint Nothing.

[B]

No, we talked about my internship. California Pizza Kitchen. Yeah. And Cheesecake Factory.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We are nothing if not professional.

[A]

You just never know where the show's gonna take you. And, like, okay, Pete and Satan went to Walmart. Now you know.

[B]

No. And you really can't throw Cheesecake factory into a story without expecting people to, you know, go off on tangents.

[A]

Harp and LARP.

[B]

HARP and LARP. 100%. That's what we did. We're the Harpers and the Larpers. We are harping LARP and harping. LARP and harping.

[A]

LARP and harping. LARP and harping. Larping.

[B]

Harp and larping.

[A]

Harping. Larping.

[B]

So what's new with you?

[A]

I started a new book last night. Well, I finished my book on the plaza. I told you guys yesterday. But then there were a bunch of pictures in the back, so I had to tap through to actually get the, you know, Credit for having read it. I rate it as 3.5. You know, I don't think it could have ever been any better than that. But now I have all this useless information about the Plaza. So if you want to know anything about the Plaza, come and ask me. And I've probably already forgotten. Then I started this book called the Lost Summers of Newport. It's by three authors. Trifecta. One of them is Beatrice Williams, who is a historical fiction writer who I've never read, but she's like a Kristin Hannah and I don't know why I've never read one of her books. So I'm excited.

[B]

And.

[A]

And it's about like Gilded Age summers in Newport. Very much like the show. So I've heard good things. And that's just my scene. That's my scene.

[B]

You're such a Newport guy.

[A]

1899, Newport is my scene.

[B]

That's where I'm at.

[A]

Looking for me, looking for me.

[B]

It's 1889 and I'm in Newport.

[A]

Right. And now I want to go back to Newport and do like a historical tour.

[B]

Well, no, I'll go with you.

[A]

You would like it. And now that you've watched Gilded Age, you don't think.

[B]

No, for sure. But like, when we went to Newport last time, we did like, wineries, bars. Like, that's very much, I think, like the energy I will be, you know, bringing if we do go to Newport, of course.

[A]

But we could do one day where we look at the houses like you did in second grade.

[B]

I have been to the house.

[A]

Me too. In Rhode island, second grade. But like, she couldn't have cared.

[B]

Also, we do need to go back to Newport because the last time we went to Newport was the situation with the Extremely Hasty Flush.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And we have to eradicate that memory from our brains entirely.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And if you don't know we're talking about because you're new from Tik Tok, but go look at our episode, the Extremely Hasty Flush. It happens in the beginning and it's a really traumatizing moment and it's a teachable moment for everyone who's ever going.

[A]

To use a rest stop in Connecticut, because they do. All these high tech rest stops are really gorgeous and congratulations to everyone in Connecticut. But they got really aggressive with their flushers. Also, it's a podcast only episode, so don't go looking for it on YouTube.

[B]

Good advice. Yeah. I feel like, you know, every. I feel like, you know, a lot of creators and YouTube personalities and influencers are tied to a cause. You Know they, they are a cause driven platform and I really feel like we should be championing the cause of no automatic toilets at rest stops.

[A]

No. You don't know what you're going to find when you say that's a can of worms you don't want to open.

[B]

No, I think I'm going to open it.

[A]

No. You don't want toilet bowls that are full.

[B]

No. What's so that's true. That's. That's very true. But. But what's so annoying is that like automatic flush means like it's a renovated bathroom and it's like, why can we have renovated bathrooms just with regular flushes? You know, it's like, I don't want to give up the new clean renovated bathroom.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know?

[A]

Yeah. I guess they could just be like a little less hasty is what I would say.

[B]

There should be like a 10 second.

[A]

Timer just in case you drop your keys.

[B]

Totally traumatizing.

[A]

Rental Jaguar this stop. Like I literally to the Jaguar that you rented. You splurged and you were like, what could go wrong?

[B]

Find you two girls who will walk into a, a rental car, a budget rental car and be like, give us the nicest car you have. And they actually had a Jaguar that was. And it was so fun to drive it. Like, I hate that I can't even reminisce on that weekend. Like, we had so much fun.

[A]

I. They're two separate events for me. You weren't driving because when I was reading the book, I forgot about the flush.

[B]

You weren't driving. You weren't the one who dropped the keys and you weren't also the one who secretly like thought she had Covid. I woke up that morning like with such a painful like feeling in my throat and we were driving everyone back. So I'm like, I'm gonna drive so fast. Get everyone. I don't want to. I was had the window open. I was like, I totally have Covid.

[A]

We all had colds when we got home from that. Remember?

[B]

I didn't have Covid. But like. And you know when you like during that time, every time you woke up like hungover, you're like, oh my God, I have covet.

[A]

Yeah, but even if you had it then we were all in such close quarters the whole time. Like we were on the same team.

[B]

No, I just like had anxiety and I'm like, I don't want anyone to know that, like I'm not feeling well. So let me just book it. We were making incredible time. It is like a five hour drive. And I was going 90 miles an hour. We were gonna make it back in two and a half hours, like dead ass. We stopped for one second and literally the whole day was derailed. We had to wait in the parking lot, wait for a local taxi, wait for the aaa. It was horrible.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm glad we relive that.

[A]

Yeah. But they're two separate things to me. And also, just be glad that it was Claudia who dropped the keys, because if it was anybody else, Claudia would have murdered them. Okay, so murder. That was murder on the freeway.

[B]

That was the general consensus of the group. Like, we're annoyed at you, but thank God it was you because, like, you would be so much more annoyed at us. And while I can definitely see how someone would think that of me, I.

[A]

Would never forgive whoever it was.

[B]

I really actually don't agree. You know, I think I would be relieved that it wasn't me. And I think, like, I mean, I had nowhere to go. If I was, like, in a rush, like, to make an appointment or something, I think I would have been just as helpful in calling the taxi and everything. I'm a doer, you know, I do. I don't think I would have been as scary as everyone thought I was going to be. And it actually kind of hurt my feelings. Feelings that everyone thought I was going to be so, like, scary good.

[A]

I'm glad that it resonated with you because that's how scary you would have been.

[B]

But I wouldn't have. I'm telling you.

[A]

No, Claudia.

[B]

No, I. Like, I'm telling you. I probably would have thought it was funny if it was on someone else's. Like, for me, the rental car was under my name, right? My license, my credit card. And it was a fucking Jaguar that we had to leave in the middle of Connecticut. So, like, if it was on someone else's ass, I don't think I would have been so stressed, you know?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I really believe that.

[A]

Just know thyself and just.

[B]

I know I am knowing myself.

[A]

She also probably would have not waited with the team and called an Uber and left.

[B]

Oh, no. That's really what you think of me? I never would do that. I'm a girl's girl.

[A]

Okay. The only thing that was like, thank God. There were so many. Thank gods. One, that it was Claudia and no one else.

[B]

Two, the car was open.

[A]

The car was open. Imagine if all of our stuff was locked in there. We would have had to wait with the car, wait for it to get open. But thankfully we were able to get.

[B]

Our stuff and like, leave the car and budget came and picked it up. Honestly. Shout out to budget.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was waiting like months later to get a charge, a hundred thousand dollars for the Jaguars.

[A]

Like, go to buy a house and your credit score is in the tubes and you're like, what happened? They're like, you never return the Jaguar.

[B]

That's true. But I do check my credit quite often, so I think I would know. Oh, my God. I did get like a big charge from them, like for the AAA. It's like $2,500.

[A]

Yeah, that seems fair.

[B]

But that's not the price of a Jaguar.

[A]

Sounds like the end of the redheads. That seems fair. Every time we rate the book.

[B]

That's funny.

[A]

We do the average of all of our ratings, so it's fair.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And snitch every single time. Because I.

[B]

That seems fair.

[A]

That seems fair.

[B]

You know what? Math is fair.

[A]

That's the thing about math.

[B]

It's a magic number.

[A]

Okay. Instead of going down this triggering.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Retrieval down memory lane, let's get into the fast five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

[B]

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[A]

Legal news Todd and Julie Chrisley have been found Guilty of bank fraud and tax evasion Reality stars Todd and Julie Chrisley were found guilty of bank fraud and tax evasion, team TMZ reported on Tuesday, according to a court clerk for the Northern District of Georgia. The couple's accountant, Peter Tatino, was also found guilty on a series of related charges, including aiding and abetting the filing of false tax returns. A sentencing date has yet to be scheduled and the Stars are currently free on bond. Todd's attorney told TMZ they plan to appeal the jury's decision, saying, we are disappointed in the verdict. They were initially indicted in August 2019 and a new indictment was filed in February of this year. Prosecutors alleged that the duo submitted fake documents to banks when applying for loans and that Julie also submitted false credit reports and bank statements when trying to rent a house in California.

[B]

I mean, I love when they're like we're going to appeal it. The verdict isn't sure. Like this isn't like a murder. He said she said, did she, didn't she? Like there's literally a paper trail whether you paid your taxes or not. Did you evade them? So I just feel like that's like such a lame response. Like you don't just get found guilty on tax evasion. No one's ever been framed for tax evasion. Like you either paid your taxes or you did it. So that is the first thought I have. And the second thought I have is like, obviously I'm not surprised by this. I think like if you've been at all familiar with the Chrisley's over the years, it's very unclear what they do for a living.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Like, and especially in the early seasons they had this big house and Todd was like this big. Like real estate is like what people say they do when they don't have a job. Of course they're very successful people.

[A]

Ambiguous. You could be at any different, like level of real estate, right?

[B]

You could be agent renting apartments. You could be the biggest developer in New York City.

[A]

A mogul.

[B]

Right. So it's just like this vague. It kind of gives the vibe. Like when someone says, like, I'm an entrepreneur, like, what does that mean?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. No, it leaves a lot open for interpretation.

[B]

It requires follow up questions.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So in the first couple seasons, like, they came on the show and like, I remember Todd was like, I've made my money. I want to make the next big department store in Atlanta. And obviously it never came to fruition. But they were always like, living this extravagant life and it wasn't clear what they did for a living. Julie was like a stay at home mom and Todd was like, kind of like retired. It was really bizarre.

[A]

I've never really watched an entire episode of the show, so if you had asked me to, like, tell you who they are and what they do, like, I kind of thought he was a preacher.

[B]

Honestly, I totally see that he gives.

[A]

Like preacher vibes because I feel like he's always like, preaching to his family.

[B]

Yeah, no, and I think he's definitely a man of the Lord.

[A]

Like, Chrisley knows best. What does he know?

[B]

What God knows because he's a preacher. That's literally the best call you've ever made. But no, he's not a preacher, but he does preach quite a bit. So it's always felt like they were living beyond their means in a confusing way. And then there was like a period where they downsized, which is never good on reality tv. Like, it. They're always like, well, the kids are in college. Like, no, it's always a little like, what's going on? So they moved to, like, this smaller house. It was still really nice, but like, much smaller. And they've always just been confusing about their finances. So this does not surprise me in the least.

[A]

Yeah, it'll be interesting to see what kind of sentencing they get. And also, the verdict comes just weeks after Todd's ex business partner, Mark Braddock, claimed that the reality star cheated on Julie with him and that they paid off a blackmailer to keep the alleged gay affair a secret. So there's a lot.

[B]

It's layered.

[A]

It's layered. Like most things.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I mean, the show still is not canceled.

[B]

That's so crazy. Aside from that gay affair thing, it is really sad to see, like, another reality star fall into, like, this trope of tax evasion. Like, it's becoming, like, standard for, like, people who become famous kind of overnight make money. It's like, it's giving Mike Sorrentino.

[A]

Yeah, well, there's Two things. One, I think a lot of reality stars or people who become famous really quickly don't know how or that they have to pay the amount of taxes that they do.

[B]

And that's, like, Mike's situation. I mean, I don't know.

[A]

I think Mike's was nefarious.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

I think it was, like, more intentional than that. But I think that happens a lot. I don't think you necessarily go to jail for that. But then there's also, like, intentional fraud, which, like. Teresa, this is Joe Judice. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Well, as much as it pains me, because, you know, I hate the irs. Like, you can't with them.

[A]

Like, no, you've got to pay your taxes.

[B]

You've got to pay your taxes. I've thought about not doing it many times. Like, one of these days, like, I'm just gonna stop. But today.

[A]

And then we'll be reading about you.

[B]

I know, but, like, finally people will be talking about me. Is it worth it if they let me go to, like, one of those nice prison. No, no. Sorry.

[A]

No, no, not for you.

[B]

No. So wishing them, you know, best of luck in your sentencing. I feel like this isn't the type of case where you get, like, a plea deal because there's, like, nothing to. No one to rat out.

[A]

Well, maybe, like, restitution could help.

[B]

Yeah. But I don't know, like, how much money they've got.

[A]

I don't know either. We shall see. We shall see. Best of luck. Next story. Little casting news. The role that A Million girls will kill for is going to Julia Garner. She has been offered the Madonna role in the Universal biopic of the Star and Inventing Anna. Actress Julia Garner has been offered the role of Madonna in a forthcoming biopic about the pop icon. Sources familiar with the project told Variety. She has emerged the favorite from over a dozen candidates, one insider added, and has for months been speculated as a front runner for the part. A performance Madonna will Shepherd herself as director. Garner's team is considering and expected to accept the offer, said another source. So the offer is out. It is not confirmed, signed, sealed, and delivered.

[B]

I mean, this is just reminding me of, like, years ago when we were talking about the casting for Elvis. It's the role A Million Girls wanted. And they kind of went with, like, the not super obvious choice with Austin Butler and with Julia Garner. Now people are obviously, like, using her hair as, like, the thing in, like, all the pictures, because, yeah, in the.

[A]

Pictures, they do a side by side. It's pretty. It's pretty good.

[B]

Yeah. Like, her Curly blonde natural hair, like, is really similar to the look Madonna had when she became like. Like an icon. So I see it visually. I'm not like a huge Madonna girl and I'm not a huge Julia Garner girl. So I have to say I probably won't see this movie.

[A]

Yeah, I agree. Also, some of the other names that had been floated. Yeah. Were Florence Pugh.

[B]

I don't see it.

[A]

Euphoria Star. Alexa Demi.

[B]

Oh. The only thing is they don't really look alike.

[A]

Well, you can make anyone look like anyone. Odessa Young, Bebe Rexha and Sky. Sky Ferreira. But I remember reading on Dumois once that Liz Gillies was up for the role. And now I can't get past that because she would be amazing. She's amazing actress and amazing singer. And, like, do these girlies sing? I don't know.

[B]

That's such a good call.

[A]

And it's kind of ruining this movie for me because now I'm just like, what could have been. Yeah. Should have been Liz.

[B]

Yeah. I was also thinking, and I don't know what, like, age they're looking for, but what's her name? Lily James. She was so good in Pam and Tommy. Like, irrecognizable. Like, I just see her as, like, this Downton Abbey, Cinderella, like, Princess Royal vibe. But in Pam and Tommy, she was, like, so transformative. She wasn't even herself. So I really could see her doing this.

[A]

Well, yeah. But I mean, it's Julia Gardner, so we should stop, like, LARPing as it being anyone else.

[B]

But would it be an episode of the Morning Toast if we weren't live action role playing?

[A]

No. And I agree this doesn't, like, do that much for me, but I'm sure it'll be good. She's a really good actress.

[B]

Yeah, she's very.

[A]

She was good as Anna Delvey.

[B]

Yeah, she was very good as Anna Delvey because, like, I literally hated her.

[A]

Yeah. You know, I still haven't seen it. Really going to see it.

[B]

Like, the fanfare is over now.

[A]

Yeah. No, I. I successfully because I had just given birth, so I successfully was able to escape.

[B]

But, like, if you are ever looking for something, like, it was good and it was, like, really interesting because I feel like even though we all became, like, invested in the storm, we all read the Vanity Fair article at the time. Like, the, like, the ins and outs of, like, how she actually did it. Like, how do you almost convince the biggest bank in the world? Like, literally a fortress. I think it was called Fortress to give you money. Like, the way in which she did it was actually kind of interesting to find out, like exactly how can learn some tips. Yeah. If you're a fraudster in the making, con woman wannabe, like definitely check it out.

[A]

Yeah. But I would also imagine like one. I'm sure this sort of series inspires plenty of con men and women, but it also alerts other people. Like this is what people do.

[B]

Also, my only problem with inventing Anna is like they took it way too far. Like when it was over, like the article came out, Anna was ruined, yada yada yada. It should have been over but like the journalist, like just had to go to Germany and meet her family. Like, stop. It was, it was like classic, like annoying journalist, you know?

[A]

Yeah. Classic, classic. Are you ready for our next story?

[B]

I think that I am.

[A]

And just like that season two storyline will include Samantha's character the Sex and the City spin off series and just like that will welcome back the show's beloved Samantha Jones, albeit virtually. The HBO Max series, which was renewed for season two, stars Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon and Kristen Davis, and a much buzzed about absence from the original series star Kim Cattrall. But fret not. Showrunner Michael Patrick King revealed to Variety the show's storyline will feature the dearly missed PR guru. King, who previously said the door wasn't open for her return, was asked if fans can expect to see Samantha's character creep into the storyline of the upcoming season. A bold and clear cut yes was his answer. He remained tight lipped about his plans for the show, telling the outlet, it's all so new right now. One of my big rules is don't tell things until they are real. Okay, Completely aside. When you got my lunch order yesterday at my house, what the fuck? Was there a soup? I'm just remembering that I ordered a soup and I never got it.

[B]

Okay, first of all. What?

[A]

Something about this story made me think of soup.

[B]

Okay. So second of all, Zach was the one who opened the bag and passed me your wrap so I could put it on a plate for you.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

So you would have to ask that because I didn't even get. I didn't even open the bag and get my lunch. I like wasn't hungry.

[A]

Okay, got it. Maybe it's in the fridge, but I just remember like I was looking forward to that soup and then I don't know where it went.

[B]

Okay, thanks. I don't know. I have no information for you. I'm shook. And back to the story. I feel like this is a big nothing. Burger.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because he said, will her character be like some part of the plot? Yes, her character was part of the plot. In the first season, Carrie was texting with Samantha while she was in Paris.

[A]

Yeah. Like when they said virtually again, like, maybe Carrie's on a zoom with Samantha, but we don't see Samantha. And maybe they get like some Kim Cattrall impersonator to have a voiceover.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Anything to cut out the only person who's worth watching on the show.

[B]

Hundred percent. The only other way I can see them doing this is them recasting Samantha, which I think would be like literally the worst idea of all time, because Samantha was a great character for sure, but she was really made exceptional by Kim Cattrall. It's not just a role that anyone could play.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

It's like Moira, you know?

[A]

No, that would be insane.

[B]

That would be so stupid. I hope they don't do that. But like, I. So Ben was in LA last week and on his way home, he flew united and they have. And just like that. And he started to watch it and he came home and like, he had seen so many thoughts. He's like, so what episode? Like, when does Samantha come back? He's like, I'm not gonna finish it. Just like, tell me. I'm like, I don't know how to tell you this, but she's like, not on the show. Heartbroken. He was like, what? He like, he obviously doesn't keep up with pop culture. Know that, like, the Kim Cattrall, Sarah Jessica Parker drama is like a thing. So he was absolutely devastated. He said it was the worst show he's ever seen in his life. Like, cringy. So try hard. Spoiler alert. He couldn't get over that they killed Big. Like, he imagine like, not caring so. So, like caring so little about pop culture that not knowing a year later that Big does.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, could never be me.

[A]

No.

[B]

Never.

[A]

No. It's crazy that they, like brought back the show just to kill Big.

[B]

Yeah. And Samantha.

[A]

Like, yeah, the two more likable characters.

[B]

And I have to say I remember recapping it. Like, I did actually really enjoy the show, but it was like a hate watching thing. And I don't think, like, if I had to, you know, give a critical analysis of the show, what I say, it was very good, but I did enjoy it.

[A]

Well, I mean, they would. They should bring Samantha back and they still won't. And they'll just tease like this. And that's annoying for the fans, but.

[B]

I don't think Samantha's return is their choice. I think it's Samantha's choice.

[A]

I think now it's both, you know, because she's also like, trash them. And it's really Sarah just Jessica Parker's show. And I don't know if she would have her back.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm just glad to be, like, extricated from the situation because I don't watch. And so I have no horse in this race.

[B]

Yeah, no, me neither. And honestly, I don't even know if I would want Kim Cattrall back because it would be so awkward between them. I don't think that they could recapture the magic that the four of them had back in the day.

[A]

But it was awkward back in the day too. When you listen to stories.

[B]

Yes. But it wasn't as bad as it is now.

[A]

Of course. Of course. And I think everyone would just be watching, being like, these people hate each other.

[B]

Yeah. And it's hard to watch movies with people who hate each other. Kissing Booth 2. Jacob Elordi and Joey King.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Literally. I think half of their scenes were filmed in, like, a split screen because they refused to be in the same room. Talk about no chemistry.

[A]

No, you can't date if you're gonna ruin the franchise 100%.

[B]

Like, either.

[A]

Do it in your contract. It should be like, are you mature enough to, if you fall in love with this person, be able to work with them again?

[B]

No. The contract should be like, are you planning on dating your co star? Yes. Okay. I will only fork over the salary. If you plan to date them up until this franchise is over, are you.

[A]

Open to dating your co star? Yes. Are you open to if you break up, still being an adult and being able to work with them?

[B]

Yeah. Yes. I have to say, like, not that I know anything about the situation, but from the kissing booth too, I do feel like it was Jacob Elordi who, like, couldn't stand Joey King. I don't know if he was hurt, but I think the vibe that I got, which is based on absolutely nothing, is that he was the one who, like, made it awkward.

[A]

Okay. So he'll need to have that in his contract going forward.

[B]

Yeah. And he loves to date co stars. He spotted with Zendaya.

[A]

Like, it's not for everyone.

[B]

It's not for everyone.

[A]

Our next story. The Internet is losing its mind over a couple who said they had Minnie and Mickey at their wedding. Instead of food, Reddit users went off on a person who claimed in a forum that she and her husband skipped catering their wedding so they can afford an appearance by Mickey and Minnie Mouse. My fiance and I just got married two months ago and we had our dream wedding. The Reddit for you wrote. However she wrote, she's a self described huge Disney fan. Quote, about a month and a half ago, my aunt started posting on Facebook about how disappointed she was with the whole ordeal. And if you guys sided with her, the cost to have both Minnie and Mickey for a good chunk of time, 30 minutes, was almost exactly what our parents allotted for our catering budget. So we scheduled an appearance during our first dance and our wedding photos for going served food, though there were plenty of facilities at the venue where people could eat. And then the post was removed by their own. Yeah, buy their own food. The moderator said that they removed posts from feeds for a variety of reasons, including keeping communities safe, civil, and true to their purpose.

[B]

But the screenshot of that girl's like, testimony has made its way around the Internet because you can delete everything you want, but the Internet lives forever and remembers everything. Okay, so my thoughts on this are twofold. Obviously, my first is that foregoing food to, like, foregoing food to have Mickey and Minnie at your wedding is so unwell. Like, it's delusional. But it's your wedding and you can really do whatever you want. So, like, don't invite me, but, like, sure, I empower other couples to make their wedding exactly how they want to be. But you are an unwell human being. But your aunt going on Facebook and like, starting a thread a month later about your wedding, like, oh, my God. Okay, you missed one meal. Calm the fudge down. It's definitely weird and definitely worth gossiping about behind the bride's back, 100%. But to start a thread on Facebook, like, that's kind of next level diabolical.

[A]

Yeah, I agree. But if and had started this, we would never know. So I'm grateful to the ante, but I'm just going to play devil's advocate for a second, you know, because we all eat three meals a day. Happens every day, most of the time. Some people more, some people less. And to miss one meal so that these people could have their dream, whatever it is, you know, everyone dreams differently. Like, it's their wedding. It just meant, like, you didn't have lunch, but they got Mickey and Minnie in their pictures forever. Okay, small price to pay.

[B]

I have two things to say.

[A]

Small price to pay.

[B]

I have two things to say. One, if these people were on Four Weddings, they literally would have come in last place. You ever watched Four Weddings?

[A]

No, I've Never even heard of it.

[B]

What? Oh, man. Me and Olivia used to be obsessed with the show. Can I tell you what it's about? It's a TLC show. Four brides are competing. They all go to their. They all plan their weddings and it's not sponsored at all. Like, they all plan it on their own budget. And each of the four brides goes to each other's weddings and grades it based on experience, food, overall fun, the dress. And then at the end of the show, all the couples are waiting together at like this bachelor style mansion. And whoever gets the highest score gets a free honeymoon.

[A]

Cute.

[B]

And is a really good show. But the brides are fucking evil. Like, literally, if they have to wait one extra second for their food or like if their food comes out like lukewarm but not warm enough. 3, 3 out of 10 for food.

[A]

It shouldn't be the fellow brides judging each other because of course they're going to want to sabotage so they can win. It should be like professional party goers. Say, you and I, who are, who are the professional judges? Yeah, they don't have a horse in the race.

[B]

Their scoring system does try and negate people giving intentionally low scores. Like, I think, I don't, I forget how they do it, but they have a system. It's not perfect for sure, but it's such a good show. And like people, the other brides find the most insane things to complain about at other people's weddings just to justify giving a lower score. And if this couple was on four Weddings, like, I could just imagine the episode. So that was the first thing that came to mind. Second of all, I do hear what you're saying. Like, yes, to forego a meal. However.

[A]

And there were vendors around, however, there.

[B]

Are people traveling for your wedding. Do you live in Orlando? You know what I mean? Is this a destination wedding?

[A]

I don't think so. No, I don't think so. It sounds like it was like an afternoon wedding.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Like a luncheon.

[B]

I just feel like if you're not gonna serve food, like, you do have to let people know for sure.

[A]

You do have to let people know. So they could bring a snack or they could bring, you know, some money for the vending machine.

[B]

I would literally bring in like a fiber one bar in my clutch or.

[A]

Have a big meal before or after.

[B]

Yeah, no, I guess like the, the concept that people are like hanging on to is like instead of giving, you know, the people you love in your life, like an experience to remember you had Mickey and Minnie and you're grown adults. Like, that's what I think.

[A]

Of course. Would I choose it for myself? No. I value food more than I value Mickey and Minnie. But say it wasn't. Say it was like, Kim, of course I would. I would forego.

[B]

You'll starve.

[A]

I would forego food for Kim 100%. And that's the same thing. Like, don't yuck their yums. Say some people wanted to hire the Strice brothers to come to their wedding. Bryce and Strice will be in all of your pictures.

[B]

But Bryce and Strice would do it for free.

[A]

That's the difference. Okay, but say, like, their fee even just to fly them out to your wedding was the same as the food. So they foregoed food to have the str at your wedding. And pictures. What are you gonna do?

[B]

I guess it's just the way that she wrote the post. Like, how obvious. Like, of course we let go of the food.

[A]

Right. And it's an. In a forum where you post to find out if you're in the wrong or to tell someone else they're in the wrong or to sit back and just watch.

[B]

That is a great concept for a forum.

[A]

Right. So that's why everybody is weighing in, because that's the point of the.

[B]

She asked.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That's interesting. So I agree. Like, it could never be me. And if that's gonna be you, like, sure. But, like, I do think you're, like, ill. Like, not okay.

[A]

Of course. And at the end of the day, if I were a guest at this wedding, I would never stop making fun of them.

[B]

I probably would never talk to you again.

[A]

Yeah, No, I would be hungry. I'd be hangry. But I just. I always like to offer an alternate person.

[B]

No. And you're like. You are right. Like, at the end of the day, it's your wedding. Like, your wedding is your choice. However you choose to spend your money, like, a hundred percent. It's just probably the weirdest thing I've ever heard in my life.

[A]

It's a weird choice for sure.

[B]

Could never be me, but, like, I empower you to make your own choices.

[A]

Your own weird choices. Yeah, that's freedom.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, freedom. Freedom. Freedom.

[B]

You got it.

[A]

No, we were going back and forth on freedom. Speaking of singing, are you ready for our fifth and final story? Yeah.

[B]

Oh, shit.

[A]

You didn't look ready.

[B]

How is this going to go?

[A]

Wherever the chips may fall, we're even now.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So you'll never know what I'm gonna do.

[B]

Wow, you're such a Loose cannon. It's the final story. It's a little story. Mickey and Minnie, go fuck yourselves. I want my dinner now. Are you okay? I want my dinner.

[A]

No, Scary. Scariest wedding guest.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Scariest wedding guest.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Of all time. She wants her dinner.

[B]

No, that's like how they used to sing in temple.

[A]

That is how they sung. I mean, if you and Ben weren't like an influencer duo, you would be.

[B]

A rabbi and a cantor duo.

[A]

Yeah. Or just two cantors duetting, actually. But you guys would like me, like.

[B]

Every room for this town's only big enough for one cantor.

[A]

Each of you would want the last note.

[B]

By the way, for those who don't know what a cantor is like, when you go to temple, there's a rabbi and a cantor, and the cantor is like a really beautiful voice and sings all the prayers. And for a brief period in my life, like, I really thought I could be the next big canter.

[A]

And Ben really has it in him. You guys heard how he did the final story. Like, that's the exact tenor of a camper I'm sorry. Of a cantor I keep in my head. I was like, I'm about to say camper. I'm like, no camper.

[B]

I want my dinner now. Amen.

[A]

Our fifth and final story. A little tech news. IOS 16 will let you edit and even unsend text messages.

[B]

What did you call it?

[A]

IOS.

[B]

It's iOS, right? Yeah.

[A]

Let's see. IOS.

[B]

That'S like the chapstick.

[A]

It's EOS.

[B]

It's iOS. Like, say it how you want, but I just want to, like, let you know it's iOS.

[A]

You don't think there's people who call it iOS?

[B]

I just found out there is. You.

[A]

There's people like me. We can start a community. Anyways. During its WWDC 2022 event, Apple announced a bunch of new features on the way for its software platforms, including the ability to edit messages you've already sent in its messages app. Apple Software Engineering VP announced the changes while discussing iOS 1616 updates, adding that users will be able to unsend messages and mark threads unread to easily revisit them later, covering three of the most requested features from imessage users. Unsend messages, edit messages, and mark threads unread to easily. This is what I need. This is what I need. Because usually I said what I said and I meant it, but I need the ability, if I open a message, to leave it unread, just like I do with my emails to Know that I need to come back to it 100. I completely forget about text messages all the time because I open them, forget about them and move on.

[B]

To be honest, like, the fact that Apple has to have like a whole presentation to add, like, the unread feature is so stupid. Like, put it in an update. Like, you don't need to make like a whole conference about it. It's so simple.

[A]

Yeah. They do their conference for, like, other things and, you know, showing us the new iPad or this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And now it's really like their biggest PR thing and people get used to it. And like, people sit around like, waiting for it to go live.

[B]

No, people, like, literally stand outside and live stream themselves, which is an interesting.

[A]

Way to spend your day. But, like, other people have Mickey and Minnie at their wedding.

[B]

Right, Right.

[A]

Everybody's different. They also said that the edit or recall for a message will be up to 15 minutes after sending it.

[B]

But what if the person has already seen it?

[A]

Yeah. No, and then you could gaslight that mean. I didn't say that. I think it'll be just like, first of all, I think it will say edited if it's been edited. And you probably also get a message when someone's. Something was unsent, like you do on Instagram. That's my favorite. Like when I get a whole flood of. In my. On my homepage, someone unsent a message on sentiments, I'm like, oh, someone's defecting and they're. That they were once crawled up my butt.

[B]

See, like, I feel. I feel like with the unsend, you should only be able to unsend a message that the person hasn't opened yet.

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

And Apple should be able to tell you that, like, if. If unsend comes up as an option, that means they haven't seen it yet. And if it doesn't come up as an option, the person hasn't seen it yet. To unsend a message that someone already saw is like, literally not the point.

[A]

Yeah, I guess like, just the. Like, say you like drunk texting and then the next morning you could like, erase all of them. And assuming the person didn't take a screenshot. Yeah, they know that you did it. But, like, you could wipe the slate.

[B]

But they already got it, so the. The message is done, you know? Yeah, I do like that thing, the option for an edit button. Because, like, as someone who literally cannot write one sentence without typos.

[A]

True.

[B]

Just to be able to. Instead of doing asterisk and then say the typo Again. And then asterisk again.

[A]

The asterisk is going to go out of business.

[B]

I love that. I'm a frequent asterisk user and you don't even bother.

[A]

You write, blah, blah, blah.

[B]

I don't bother with you.

[A]

Two weeks later, it's like, why didn't you do that? I'm like, what did you tell me to do?

[B]

Blah, blue. I don't bother with you. But, like, when I'm talking to, like, other people who, like, don't know how I communicate, I have to use my.

[A]

Asterisk, but you don't. And that's why, like, Sophia with an F thought. What? What did she.

[B]

130 and 10 30.

[A]

130 and 10 30. Exactly.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

But now you could edit that, but it also would require you to register error.

[B]

Yeah. So I will definitely be using edit. I would like more clarification on what the unsend rules are.

[A]

Yeah, it might just be like, for your own peace of mind.

[B]

Yeah. Like, the way Instagram does it is pretty good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You can unsend it, but you also see that they saw it. So I will never unsend something somebody already saw.

[A]

People don't have. Not everyone has their read response seats on.

[B]

On Instagram. They do.

[A]

No, on Twitch.

[B]

Yeah, I know. So I'm curious how it's gonna work.

[A]

And I don't want you to know when I'm reading stuff.

[B]

No, I got a new phone and, like, for the first month, nobody bothered to tell me my read receipts were on.

[A]

No, it wasn't that. It was like this do not disturb.

[B]

This was like a while ago.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And I just remember, like, literally shout out Matt Hardoon, Ben's friend was like, why are your read receipts on? I'm like, what? Nobody had told me, like, not even Ben.

[A]

Oh, I have mad respect for people with their read receipts on because that means that they get. Get around to things. Like, I couldn't have my re receipts on because you would see that I read it the moment that you sent it and I never answered.

[B]

No. And it's so embarrassing, the rate in.

[A]

Which I. Yeah, it was embarrassing for me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But now with this new mark is unread, like, that's going to be game changing for me.

[B]

Game changing.

[A]

That's what I've needed. So thank you.

[B]

Yeah, no, this sounds good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

People what they want.

[A]

Yeah, we'll see how it goes. I'm happy for the drunk texters. Yeah, that's going to be good.

[B]

Huge. Huge for the drunk texting industry.

[A]

Huge.

[B]

Should we dive into Dear Toasters, our advice segment.

[A]

Let's and if any of you were drunk texting any advice, there's your advice.

[B]

Dear Toasters, our advice segment we do every Wednesday. You can submit your [e-mail] Dear Harry, Theo, Bruce, Jackie, and Claudia in order of importance, Me last Wow. I moved away from my city a year ago with a solid group of friends. We worked together for years, we went on girls trips, and we were super close. I was particularly close with one girl named Margo. Margo got engaged a month before I moved. Leading up to it, we had talked so much about the future wedding where we wanted to go for the bachelorette party, and I was so excited. Excited to help her plan her big day. Fast forward a few months. My old friends and even some new ones who were introduced three months before the engagement were posting on social media with their will you be my bridesmaid? Gift box. I assumed mine was in the mail, but nothing ever arrived. We FaceTime once every few weeks and catch up like nothing is wrong, talk about wedding stuff, and then we say that we need to get together soon. The wedding is now two months away and I haven't been asked to be a bridesmaid, go on the bachelorette party, the bridal shower, or anything except to be a guest. I feel super left out. It makes me not even want to go to the wedding anymore. It's a flight across the country, a rental car, and a hotel for a girl who seemingly doesn't really want me and her life is anything more than acquaintance. But if I don't go, it will be awkward in our group and might sever the relationship for good. What would you do? Signed a forgotten toaster. Honestly, what?

[A]

Damn.

[B]

Like, there's nothing worse than like, the feeling that you're not wanted, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And like, sometimes you're like, overreacting. But usually if you're feeling that way, like, it's kind of the vibe. Like, if you're not invited somewhere, it's because they didn't want to invite you.

[A]

Of course. But there's a difference between not being someone's bridesmaid and like, not being wanted, period. And I think you not going to the wedding would sever a relationship that, like, is still pretty good. I mean, it's a bummer that she didn't ask you to be a bridesmaid. You never know, like, what her reason were, but it doesn't mean that you should, like, give up the whole friendship. And like, what about the other girls? And like, that would just sour this relationship that you have with this group of friends. And I'm. I understand that it's hurtful, but I don't think you should throw away, like, the whole friendship. Group of friends and. Or even just like, cause such a stink. Like, you'll have a fun weekend at the wedding. Not ever. Like, I have so many friends, close friends. So I don't just consider acquaintances who were at my wedding that weren't bridesmaids are on my bachelorette party. But, like, that doesn't mean you don't come to my wedding.

[B]

Yeah, I guess. But I don't know if this. They're like, even still friendly anymore. So they only talk every couple of weeks. Because she moved.

[A]

Right. So that would also explain why you weren't on the bachelorette party. But, like, you should still go see your friends. Like, I.

[B]

Yeah, I. I guess I agree. Like, you should be happy for. For other people.

[A]

And really, I'm not saying be happy for other people.

[B]

I'm just saying you should be happy. It's her wedding.

[A]

It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Yeah. Either a bridesmaid or you're not a friend.

[B]

Yeah. I'm an all or nothing girl.

[A]

Like, if someone didn't invite you on your batch on their bachelorette, you'd say, thank you so much. I appreciate you.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I do not be hurt at all.

[B]

I do happen to dislike bachelorette parties, like, immensely.

[A]

If someone didn't ask you not to be bridesmaid, you would say, thank you so much. You understand me? You get me?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't want to spend the whole day at the venue getting ready, but that's me.

[B]

That's not this girl.

[A]

Right, right, right. So everybody is different.

[B]

So.

[A]

And also, like, if you had moved away from all your friends and you were already feeling like a little untethered and then you got a blow like this, like, I think that would hurt you.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's probably like a pile on of things for this girl.

[A]

Yeah. But I don't think you should throw away all the friendships. And I think you should go and have a good time. And. And maybe when it's your bachelorette, this is what you should do. You should rush to get engaged. Rush, rush, rush. Like, find, get on hinge, get unhinged, Find someone to get engaged to. You have a bachelorette party, Invite everyone except that girl. Everyone except her. And then she'll know how, what it's like. And then you can break off the engagement and move on with your.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Best advice you've ever given.

[A]

Literally, hands down, an eye for an eye. Sometimes it's the only way.

[B]

I love when you get like this.

[A]

But an eye for an eye, the whole world goes blind.

[B]

Yeah. And that works for me. Honestly.

[A]

As long as we're all not seeing.

[B]

Yeah, right. Why should it just be me? I completely agree. Next up. Dear Claudia and Jackie, I love you both so much. Your episodes are literally getting me through med school. It would mean so much to me if you read this on the toast. One of my guy friends asked me to come over and make dinner, just us, last weekend.

[A]

Cute.

[B]

It has always been friend vibes between us, but I was kind of trying to keep an open mind because he's a really nice guy. We made dinner, we were watching TV afterwards and low key. I thought it was kind of awkward and I couldn't see us becoming more than friends. After a while, I went to the bathroom and I noticed that the medicine cabinet was left so slightly open.

[A]

Sure, sure, it was.

[B]

After I pried it open with.

[A]

After I left it slightly open, I noticed it was left slightly open.

[B]

After I opened it up, it was open. So I decided to snoop. But when I came back out, he asked me if I checked out the medicine cabinet. What? Of course, then I had to go look, but I so wish I didn't, because what do I find in the medicine cabinet? A fucking condom. One singular condom. Keep in mind, we literally hadn't held hands or kissed or anything of the sort. I was totally prepared to drink, just pretend I didn't see it. But of course, as soon as I came out again, he asked me what I thought about it. I told him I Run. Run.

[A]

Why are you still typing this?

[B]

Run. I told him I didn't want to ruin our friendship and I left soon afterwards.

[A]

Good.

[B]

The problem is that we're part of the same close friend group at a small school, and there's no way to avoid seeing him for the next few years. What should I do? Should I tell him how disrespectful and inappropriate that was? Or should I just pretend this never happened? Lastly, should I stay upset or just chalk this up to a really funny story? Story. Sincerely, a slightly disturbed toaster. I have to say, of all the ways I've heard of, like, men trying to get women into bed, this is a new one.

[A]

This is so.

[B]

Did you see that one condom in my medicine cabinet? What did you think? What'd you think?

[A]

That's horrific.

[B]

If you didn't have the ick from him before, like, you certainly have it Now.

[A]

That's the ickiest thing I've ever heard. Now what you should do is obviously avoid him at all costs. And in order to like, have your friends avoid him too. Just tell them the story.

[B]

Yeah, tell everyone the story. I don't know if like, I do feel like his heart was in the right place. He's just like a cringy man.

[A]

No, I don't think so. Like, that's really, really bad. Yeah, there's some like, either if you want to come, like, come on to someone, use your words.

[B]

Yeah, I agree. We're all adults.

[A]

Like, that is like, really creepy.

[B]

No, it's so weird.

[A]

So he did leave it open. They were on. He did leave it. Yeah.

[B]

No, they. All right. Sorry.

[A]

We.

[B]

We totally accused you.

[A]

We totally accused you especially. They were on the couch like they had just made dinner. She was keeping an open mind.

[B]

Like, could have been natural.

[A]

Put the moves on.

[B]

Yeah, but that's.

[A]

Hide behind your condom in the medicine cabinet is so weird.

[B]

That's lazy. And it also just means, like, he just wants to you. Like he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.

[A]

So weird.

[B]

That is Cringe Master 3000. Like, I. I'm. I'm in pain for you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And honestly, like, you really should never speak to this person again. He's obviously unwell.

[A]

Obvious. No, seriously, like, I'm not even joking.

[B]

Run, run, run like you run from it all.

[A]

Oh, that's funny. I was thinking Run by Lauren Molina. Sing it. Daddy said the truck's all yours if you let it run. Do you know this song? It's so good.

[B]

I don't think so.

[A]

It's so good.

[B]

I'll listen to it.

[A]

Listen to that. And then don't forget to listen to Soul by Lee Bryce.

[B]

And then the morning toast Patreon also. So that's our advice. Run. Right?

[A]

Run, run.

[B]

Run for the hills. Run forest run.

[A]

Should we keep going? Run, toaster, run.

[B]

Run. A slightly disturbed toaster. Run. All right. Our third and final Dear Toaster submission. I'm in quite a peculiar pickle. My boyfriend's friend was recently dumped by his long term girlfriend. And my P. Jump boyfriend has been trying to keep keep him busy.

[A]

My boyfriend's friend was dumped by his girlfriend.

[B]

So the P. John boyfriend is trying to keep the friend busy. He makes sure to include him whenever possible. Even if it's third willing with my boyfriend and I. I love his friend, but we have an issue. He never pays or even offers to pay for anything when we go out how should we approach this subject to him? We understand he's going through it. We are not made of money. We don't want to stop including him just because he won't pay. But enough is enough. I sincerely appreciate any words of advice from two beautiful, stunning and smart girlies.

[A]

So many things you can do to get him to pay. But first I would say like, okay, his girlfriend broke up with him. Doesn't mean you have to like adopt him and make sure he has a warm meal every day.

[B]

I just want to say he's not terminally ill. Like, he's heartbroken. He'll be fine.

[A]

No, like it's really not a big deal. Like, why don't you get him on a dating app and like, right, he's not an orphan. He can find someone else to pay for him. Yeah, but a few things you could do. One, you guys go to dinner and you leave him with the check and say, you got this one. Like we got all the other ones to you guys. If he makes you pay, you then venmo him. And if he doesn't ever get the message, then you either, then you say something or you stop inviting him, or you stop inviting him and you tell him it's because he doesn't pay. Like, you are not a charity and this behavior needs to stop.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No.

[B]

Are you a 501C3? I don't think so. You're not tax exempt and you don't need to be paying for this grown ass man's meals all the time.

[A]

Yeah. Messed up people have such nerve.

[B]

No, the self awareness, like the lack of self awareness when it comes to money with people in our generation is astounding. Like whether it's venmoing me 50 cents for like the vending machine pretzels we split or like not offering to pay like people. Especially when people write in. Like, you really see how people are so weird about money.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's like so uncomfortable and it really can like ruin a friendship. And that's where that age old phrase come from. Comes from. Like, you don't mix business with pleasure.

[A]

Of course. But let me just think about it from another angle for a second. Like are you guys, is he glomming on to your plans? Or like are you insisting he come with you because you're worried about him? Because if like you're always the ones doing in the inviting. And then what if he's not someone who would be dining out all this time? He's like, why should I times a week, why should I pay when, like, you guys asked me to come, and, like, I wouldn't be going out to dinner. I don't spend my money like that.

[B]

That's interesting, too. We need to understand who invited who.

[A]

And at the end of the day, like, you guys need to break free. Like, you're not a throuple.

[B]

This just sounds like a toxic.

[A]

He's fine. He will be fine.

[B]

He's fine.

[A]

Next time you see him, just, like, download an app for him so that he can find someone.

[B]

Or, like, if you want to spend time with him and make sure he's okay. Like, Stan.

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

Stan cook, order pizza. Like, low budget. Low budget, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Doesn't have to be like a. Oh, the camera's coming out for a public affair. When you take this guy out, you know, 100%, there's no need. There's no need for extravagance. Save that for date night. Honestly.

[A]

Yeah. No, or start. Oh, and say, by the way, say he's being a kaza and, like, that's just what it is. And he's insisting because he's so sad and heartbroken. Start going to, like, really gross restaurants.

[B]

Yeah. Take him to the Motel 6.

[A]

Yeah, no, like, go to restaurants with, like, a d. Cockroach.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Put a little.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Put a mice in your. A mouse in your purse.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I love that for you.

[A]

Yeah. Or like, whatever his least favorite cuisine is. Like, keep going there.

[B]

It sounds like you guys are spoiling him. Like. Yeah.

[A]

And you're wondering why he needs to.

[B]

Be knocked down if you. You pegs. Because, honestly, sounds like you made him a monster.

[A]

Yeah. Which could happen. And, like, that's why they say no good deed goes unpunished.

[B]

So true.

[A]

No good deed goes unpunished.

[B]

And that's why if you do no good deeds, you'll never be punished, gorgeous. That's today's lesson. And that's today's show.

[A]

That is today's show on a Wednesday, which, as discussed, is sometimes good, sometimes bad.

[B]

As aforementioned. Thank you guys so much for listening to the Morning Toast, the millennial morning show where we Deliver the Fast 5 stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you are watching this on YouTube, please subscribe. Please subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

[A]

Yes. But, you know, I think you need to redirect your efforts because, like, we have way more subscribers than we have viewers, which means the viewers have subscribed. But so what you need to ask is, for the podcast listeners, just go and subscribe even though it means nothing to them. Just for your ego.

[B]

What Jackie said Podcast listeners just go.

[A]

Onto YouTube and subscribe to us. We won't bother you. Yeah, we will not bother you. There's.

[B]

We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found, Set, Spotify, itunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, ihop, Radio, Castbox, all the places. So wherever you listen to podcasts, find us morning Toast and leave a five star review about how beautiful, stunning and smart we are. Hope you guys have an incredible Wednesday and we'll see you tomorrow once we're over the hump on Thursday.

[A]

Can't wait.

[B]

Goodbye.