Toast Herstory: Sharks Don't Speak English (Original Airdate July 16, 2021)

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Toast — Toast Herstory: Sharks Don't Speak English

Podcast: The Toast (Dear Media)
Episode Airdate: July 16, 2021
Summary Date: August 28, 2025
Hosts: Jackie & Claudia Oshry

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Overview

In this lively “Toast Herstory” episode, Jackie and Claudia kick off an end-of-week conversation filled with humor, personal updates, and their signature comedic takes on trending stories. The main theme revolves around pop culture news, lifestyle anecdotes, and a particularly spirited debate about the proposed “rebranding” of shark attacks. Their candid banter captures the spirit of millennial podcasting—equal parts light-hearted, critical, and unfiltered.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Morning Banter & Friday Vibes

• Claudia and Jackie open with their traditional “Good Morning Millennials!” greeting and poke fun at each other’s Friday appearances.
  • Claudia comments on Jackie’s more “snatched” look and they joke about their typical Friday “merch sweatpants” dress code.
  • Jackie explains her logic in dressing up on her last show before vacation: “I really didn't want the last thumbnail to be like, me in a groutfit again” [00:50].
  • They lightly debate self-tanners, with Claudia championing Isle of Paradise and Jackie sticking to San Tropez, noting the influence of TikTok beauty influencer Sophia LaCourt [01:29].

2. Comedy Cellar Night & “Realizing Stuff”

• Claudia recounts her night at NYC’s Comedy Cellar, emphasizing the liberating atmosphere of being phoneless and hearing edgy humor.
  • “It, like, refreshed my brain that, like, you can joke about stuff. And it was so delightful.” [03:01]
  • She relishes a civilized night out: “Not every night has to be like, blacked out till the break of dawn.” [05:31]

3. Weekend Plans & Studio Comfort

• Both hosts discuss their upcoming busy weekends and joke about studio temperature preferences, a recurring podcast theme.
  • Jackie: “It’s still cold in the studio. Not as cold as it's been…this is a perfect temperature.” [06:51]

4. Content “Slim Pickings” & Fast 5 Stories

• The hosts admit the week’s celeb news is sparse but promise quirky stories for conversation fodder at weekend events.
  • Jackie: “You might need to talk about Jeff Bezos going to space. Maybe you need some interesting factoids about it. Maybe, right?” [07:32]

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Fast 5 Stories Breakdown

1. Machine Gun Kelly Had a Megan Fox Poster as a Teen [10:19]

• The hosts joke about the full-circle romance, likening it to other “celebrity destiny” stories (e.g., Jason Momoa and Lisa Bonet).
  • Claudia: “That’s some full circle shit...now they are very much in love and together.” [10:27]

2. Kyle Richards’ New Movie: The Real Housewives of the North Pole [14:00]

• Claudia predicts a “Hallmark holiday movie,” while Jackie reads the official plot: two rivals in a Vermont house decorating contest.
  • Both riff on how “uniquely Peacock” this film is and get excited for Christmas.
  • “You really can't go wrong with a great Christmas movie premise. And then to have this Housewives tie-in makes it uniquely Peacock.” — Jackie [17:11]

3. Mark Wahlberg’s 11,000 Calorie Diet for “Stu” [20:41]

• The hosts marvel at the extremes actors take for roles.
  • Jackie: “The fact that people can have that much control over their weight is the most impressive thing to me.” [20:48]
  • They segue into mocking Mark’s complaints about “pain” from overeating, quipping about the privilege of being paid to gain weight.

4. Jeff Bezos to Space with “Youngest and Oldest” Passengers [25:55]

• The hosts derisively assess Bezos’s “record-breaking” attempts as a response to Richard Branson’s earlier mission.
  • Claudia: “He's just giving me, like, major Luan de Lesseps...constantly one upping her fancy friends.” [26:32]
  • They reminisce about Bezos’s leaked text scandal, agreeing the world has generally forgotten but “we'll never forget.” [29:52]

5. Shark Attacks to Be Rebranded as “Shark Interactions” [32:58]

• The segment takes a comical but critical turn, with both hosts rejecting the push to soften language around shark attacks in Australia.
  • Claudia: “Sharks don't have feelings...they don’t really care about, like, your...Sharks don't speak English.” [34:03, 34:11]
  • Both incredulous about societal priorities: “No wonder we haven’t cured cancer yet—everyone’s focused on...the linguistics of Shark Hood.” [34:13]
  • The ensuing “shark attack” chant becomes a memorable, defiant rally: “Attack. Attack. Shark attack. Shark attack. Shark attack. Shark attack.” [36:02]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On comedy in a digital age:

  • Claudia: “We operate in the digital space, which is...sensitive, politically correct, safe space...to hear people making crazy jokes...it was so refreshing.” [03:01]

• On Jeff Bezos’s motivations:

  • Jackie: “Do it for yourself, Diana. Don’t do it for other people.” [26:57]

• On the shark story:

  • Claudia: “Sharks don't have feelings and they don’t really care about, like, your...Sharks don't speak English.” [34:03, 34:11]
  • Jackie: “If only the sharks knew that there were these losers advocating for them, the sharks would bite them.” [34:28]

• Chant:

  • “Attack. Attack. Shark attack. Shark attack. Shark attack.” [36:02]

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Other Topics Covered

Love Island Recap [37:40]

• Discussion on relationship drama involving contestants (Cinco, Trina, Cash, Amy, Jeremy, etc.), shower hour logistics, group living challenges, and the appeal of the Love Island villa.
  • Claudia describes the unique social dynamics: “I think the only thing I couldn’t envision myself being a part of is the sleeping arrangements...having to sleep with a stranger, in a room with 15 other people.” [46:54]

Meteorological Musings & Christmas Longing

• Both hosts admit to disliking summer heat and longing for the “coziness” of winter and Christmas.
  • Jackie: “Normalize stanning winter.” [19:15]

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Timestamps for Noteworthy Segments

• Opening banter, wardrobe debate: 00:01–01:17
• Comedy Cellar experience & “phone-free” revelations: 02:39–05:59
• Population of “Toasters” (show audience) discussed: 11:49–12:22
• Machine Gun Kelly poster story: 10:19–13:02
• Kyle Richards film / Christmas talk: 14:00–19:15
• Mark Wahlberg’s diet: 20:41–23:16
• Jeff Bezos space narrative/scandal/CD: 25:55–30:16
• Shark attack “rebrand” debate & comedic rant: 32:58–37:12
• Love Island recap: 37:40–47:56
• Closing, co-host previews: 48:03–49:54

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Tone & Language

The episode features the hosts’ trademark sarcastic warmth, irreverent pop culture references, and rapid-fire humor. Jokes and inside references abound, but Claudia and Jackie remain relatable for even new listeners. The “shark attack” debate, in particular, is a comedic high point—both riffing off the absurdity and venting their exasperation with political correctness taken too far.

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Conclusion

This episode is classic Toast: chatty, irreverent, bridging celeb gossip with everyday relatability and hard-hitting opinions on the world’s most random news (sharks, Bezos, and beyond). The “shark attacks” story provides the episode’s most quotable moment, giving both hosts a platform to lampoon the excesses of language policing, while their pop culture asides and Love Island analysis round out a fast-paced Friday show.

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Key Quote:
“Sharks don't speak English.” — Claudia, [34:11]
“Attack. Attack. Shark attack. Shark attack. Shark attack.” — Claudia & Jackie, [36:02]

Transcript

[A]

Good morning, millennials. Welcome back to the morning toast. It's Friday, Friday. Gotta get down on Friday. Oh, my God, it's Friday. Do you know that?

[B]

So exciting. It's so beautiful. I love.

[A]

You're not dressed like it's a Friday.

[B]

Well, if I may, we have an.

[A]

Unspoken rule here that Friday is, like, merch, sweatpant day. It's when you show up looking, like, snatched Karen from finance. It's not nice.

[B]

Thank you so much for that compliment. Calling me snatch. It's so nice. So if I may, can I tell you I understand. Can I tell you my logic?

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

All week, I dressed like it was Friday. Like, sweats, merch, just, like, really brought nothing to the show.

[A]

And I've never loved you more.

[B]

Okay. But this is my last show for about 10 days.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I really didn't want the last thumbnail to be like, me in a groutfit again. I wanted to leave them on a high note.

[A]

And.

[B]

And so I just felt like. And also, like, for myself, like, when I wear sweats that many days in a row, I'm like, do my other clothes still fit me? So I just needed to, like, get into some real clothes. And I have a busy weekend where I'm going to be, like, dressing up all weekend. And so I was like, I might as well get the ball rolling now and, like, put on something with a zipper. And so here I am. And also, even though this outfit, like, looks so fancy and fabulous, it's actually really comfortable. Sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So mine, it's really comfortable.

[A]

I'm wearing the toast spot, went spring.

[B]

Summer, and I shaved my legs and put on a little self tanner. So I thought the gams needed a day out.

[A]

The gams need a day out. Have you switched to Isle of Paradise yet?

[B]

No, I haven't. I used San Tropez last night and it's pretty good. It makes me, like, a little, like, green. Yellow.

[A]

Yeah, it's. Honestly, it's not the right fit for us, I'm telling you.

[B]

I'm not sure that it was, but I also bought, like, a spray bottle that's, like, kind like that I have never used. I bought it. I was influenced by an influencer and she also has red hair, so I was like, okay, maybe this will work for my coloring too.

[A]

Which one?

[B]

Sophia lacourt.

[A]

Oh, my God, we're obsessed. She's like a TikTok. Where'd you buy it? On it. Do you follow her on Instagram?

[B]

I follow her on Instagram.

[A]

Oh. I only follow her on TikTok?

[B]

Yeah. No. I'm so thoroughly influenced by her. So I bought it, but I still never used it, because every time I'd gone to use it, I'm like, what if I do it wrong? And then I have, like, a wedding, and so I need to use it, like, on a boring week, but it hasn't happened yet.

[A]

Speaking of Sophia lacourt, what was that redheads book by Renee Carlino between two strangers?

[B]

Before we were strangers.

[A]

Before we were strangers. And the main girl is a girl named Grace, who has red hair. Right.

[B]

I thought she had blonde hair. But sometimes those things can translate differently for people.

[A]

Well, whatever I imagined when I was reading the book and I was very, like, into it the whole time, I thought of the main girl, Grace, as Sofia LaCour, because I, like, just started seeing her on TikTok, and she was, like, in my brain. And now I just have, like, association between the two.

[B]

That's really funny.

[A]

Yeah. I just want to tell you really quickly about my night because I just did, like, so many things. You know, I went to Comedy Cellar, which was so premium. Like, you know, usually you see a comedy show, like, some comedians are better than others. Like, this was just, like, sickening lineup. But I guess that's, like, the point of comedy seller. It's like a premium de la creme. So, like, cream.

[B]

That means cream.

[A]

Every single comic was better than the next. Like, it was so hysterical. Like, I was actually, like, belly laughing. And it was. First of all, they take your phones when you and, like, your Apple watches when you walk in. So at first I was, like, a little annoyed. Like, crazy anxiety. I was like, oh, my God, what if I get canceled? Like, I just, like, something about not being on my phone just gives me terrible anxiety. But once I was able to let that go, it was so premium for a million reasons. Like, you know, we operate very much in the digital space, which is this, like, you know, sensitive, politically correct, safe space, at least our corner of it. And just to hear people, like, making crazy fucking jokes, like, about any. Everything was so refreshing. I forgot that people talk that way, like, because we, like, we just don't joke like that. And it was so refreshing. And I was just, like, cackling the whole time. And it was like a whole. It. It, like, refreshed my brain that, like, you can joke about stuff. And it was so delightful. And I loved the premise of no one having their phones. Like, it was just really safe, like, for the comics. And it was just so premium. And I just. I can't Recommend going to comedy seller enough.

[B]

Like, and I guess Dana goes like, all the time.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Gotta go a lot.

[A]

And it's so premium. Like, I had been a million years ago because it's by NY and they had like a really small club and now they have, like multiple locations. And I went to, like, one of the big ones with, like, air conditioning, and it was like, so premium. And like, it had like a million drinks, mozzarella sticks. Like, really premium. Can't recommend if you're looking for something fun to do in New York. Premium. I hadn't heard.

[B]

No, I think we're thankful for your recommendation. I know everyone's like, been knowing this also a lot of times, like, comics will well known, like a list comics show up there to try out new material. Like Amy Schumer's always spotted. So Dana literally waits outside calmly come comedy seller every night until she can go and see Amy Schumer. And she's actually gotten to see her.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I guess the point. Most people go, of course, for the show, but, like, hoping that a celebrity is just gonna, like, stop by. And I was like, really hoping, like, Dave Chappelle or like, Pete. When they took our phones, I was like, do they do this every night or is someone special coming? And Pete Davidson is, like, very strict about phones at his show. So I was. The whole time I was waiting for Pete Davidson, who never showed up. But the show was so good. Like, I actually did not mind.

[B]

Yeah, premium experience.

[A]

So I know everyone knows that, but I just never go downtown.

[B]

That's nice that you know it now.

[A]

Yeah, it was so, so fabulous. Like, I want to go again.

[B]

You should.

[A]

And the air conditioning, like, I just can't stress how high powered and voluminous it was.

[B]

That's amazing.

[A]

And then I, like, had a night on the town, and I really am proud of myself because it's a Friday and I'm not hungover.

[B]

You know, it's a Friday. We saw your stories last night. I was like, okay, Claudia's going out and she's going out again and more and more. And I was like, okay, so it's a hungover show and I'm wearing a pussy bow. It is what it is. Yeah, but look at you.

[A]

No. First of all, I got home at like 12, because comedy seller was like 8 to 10. And then we had dinner and drinks from like 10 to 11:30. And. And it was just like a civilized adult night. Like, not. I guess I'm realizing this now. Like, not every night has to be like, blacked out till the break of dawn.

[B]

It sounds like last night was the night of realizing stuff for you.

[A]

It was because I still had fun and I was so happy to be home by 12.

[B]

Yeah. And like to go to sleep without the spins.

[A]

Without the spins. And I woke up feeling completely fine.

[B]

That is so Claudia. That's beautiful.

[A]

I would love to eventually get to a place where my partying and my work life can sustain each other.

[B]

Yeah. There's no reason why they should constantly be in conflict.

[A]

They're constantly battling one another and it's so toxic for my mental health.

[B]

Well, I'm glad that there was a detente last night and that you can give us date onto like peace, ceasefire.

[A]

God, yeah, there was a ceasefire for sure.

[B]

And that you can give us full Claudia today.

[A]

Yeah, no, I'm thrilled to be alive on a Friday.

[B]

It's nice.

[A]

It's beautiful these Fridays.

[B]

Weekends ahead of you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Beautiful stuff. I have such a busy weekend. Like I said. So we're here. We got to do what we got to do.

[A]

We gotta do what we gotta do.

[B]

And other. I actually had a really busy day yesterday. Like all the errands I've been putting off, like manicure, pedicure, like wax, etc. So I was just. Errands, errands, errands, Meetings, meetings, meetings. Podcast, podcast. Podcast.

[A]

So we're gonna do what we do best and we're gonna podcast for you on this stunning, so hot Friday. Even though I'm still wearing a sweatshirt. Don't ask me why.

[B]

It's still cold in the studio. Not as cold as it's been. It's as if someone here watches our show and saw us struggling.

[A]

Well, if you're watching the show, we don't agree on the air conditioning thing. Please.

[B]

This is a perfect temperature.

[A]

Put the air conditioning back on work.

[B]

This is a perfect temperature. It's a little hot. You can wear shorts and they're not needing a blanket.

[A]

It's a little hot.

[B]

Perfect temperature.

[A]

It's just.

[B]

Okay. And you're wearing a sweatshirt.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A form fitting sweatshirt. So that never helps.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So let's dive in because we've got a. We don't have a lot to talk about because like we said. Well, we actually didn't say it. We said it before the show. There's true slim pickings. Tell us about your experience trying to choose.

[B]

Today was one of those days where I went through all the sites and I was still at zero stories.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

So I had to go through them all again. Then I Had to go to like the reserve sites. And you know what? You are going to get some interesting world news, but I know you guys love to hear it, especially on a Friday when you're going out to embark on a weekend. You might need meet new people. Maybe you guys need to talk about Jeff Bezos going to space. Maybe you need some interesting factoids about it. Maybe, right?

[A]

Like maybe you're going to be at a wedding and you're going to be like, you know, a far off friend who gets seated at a table with people you don't meet, you don't know, you've never met, and you need something to talk about and you'll be so grateful. You listen to this random ass episode.

[B]

Of the Toast, right? And you're gonna be like, what do you think about shark attacks? And right now that doesn't mean anything to you, but in 45 minutes you're gonna have a whole new opinion on that.

[A]

Yeah. And you know what? After coming from Comedy Cellar, I have this whole new vibe. Like I'm ready to offend people. And I think the shark community is gonna be my first target because I've been inspired by the brave comedians who fought for our right to joke about whatever we wanna joke about. And I'm feeling all revved up like I wanna be like a crazy, offensive comedian today.

[B]

Okay, cool.

[A]

That's exciting for all you all and your pit bulls. No, I'm kidding. I'm joking.

[B]

She can't handle it.

[A]

I can't. I was 100% kidding. Like, please don't come for me.

[B]

Okay, cool. Now I think without further ado to do. Where are you? Right here. Being perfect, it is time for the Fast 5 stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

[A]

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[B]

Okay, first story. You know we'll hit you with some mindless celeb news. Machine Gun Kelly had a Megan Fox poster in his bedroom as a teen.

[A]

Oh that's cool. Cute.

[B]

Isn't that cute? The rapper, now 31, had a poster of Fox, now 35, hanging in his bedroom as a teenager years before the pair ended up dating. He said it was from her GQ shoot. So that's some full circle shit as now they are very much in love and together.

[A]

Yeah, I guess. That's so crazy. That's kind of like how they're not dating but like Billie Eilish is like a comrade of Justin Bieber when like her whole early childhood was devoted to stanning Justin Bieber.

[B]

Yeah, you love to see people living out their dreams. To me it reminds me of the story of Jason Momoa and Lisa Bonet. Mama, Mama. When he saw her on TV and he said and he literally pointed to her on the TV child and he.

[A]

Said he turned to his mom and he pointed to Lisa on the television was like mama, I'm gonna marry her. Which is kind of weird. Just how old was Lisa? She was on the Cosby show right yeah.

[B]

And she's older than him, right?

[A]

No, of course. So, like, I just want to know how old he was when he was fantasizing, you know, it's just like, age is so weird, you know?

[B]

Yeah, it is weird when you think of things in those terms, but it could also be cute. And in this situation, I think it's cute.

[A]

If you ever heard Jason Momoa tell the story about, like, him looking at the tv, Google it. It's so funny because all I took away from it was mama.

[B]

And if you've been listening to the show long enough, you know that's a morning breath joke. You know that. That sent us.

[A]

I just want to, like, I'm so confused on who our audience is actually, because we. We have so many toasters who are new. We have so many OG Toasters who fall off the wagon. Like, who are the toasters right now? Do you guys know that mama joke?

[B]

The toasters?

[A]

Because I could start recycling jokes, making them like they're new, you know?

[B]

Right. No. First of all, the toast is a revolving door, literally. And I do feel like so many listeners have been with us since day.

[A]

One, but I don't want to exclude those new ones by making old age.

[B]

But I also think that so many are constantly discovering us because we'll get comments like, what's rdh? Like, that's not even that old. So, you know, I think the toast is really for everyone. It's ubiquitous.

[A]

So if you're an OG toaster, apologies for the redundancy. I just think that's a really good inside joke we need to bring back.

[B]

Yeah, I agree.

[A]

We have so many inside jokes, so many. Justice for the girls.

[B]

I know. Apparently someone reminded us that's what we used to wish for at 11.

[A]

11, right. Justice for the girls.

[B]

In reference specifically to R. Kelly.

[A]

Justice for those girls, but justice for.

[B]

Like, all the girls.

[A]

Justice for girls everywhere.

[B]

Agreed.

[A]

Okay, so he had a picture of. Who are we talking about? Oh, Machine Gun Kelly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I feel like that actually tracks just, like, timeline wise. I feel like every guy who, like, grew up in the 90s or early 2000s had a big ass poster of, like, Megan Fox because she was The. The. The it gal.

[B]

2000S.

[A]

Yeah. What did I say?

[B]

90S?

[A]

Yeah, 2000s. I feel like I've been in bedrooms, like, where there was a Megan Fox poster.

[B]

Yeah, for sure. She's definitely, like, a poster girl.

[A]

What poster did you have? Oh, you had a Backstreet Boys poster.

[B]

I did. It was very cool.

[A]

And, like, it was like, not even A poster. It was like a silk.

[B]

It was like a silky material. Like, it wasn't like something that you wear from magazine. It was like. It was gifted to me where it like rolled down. It was.

[A]

Yeah, it'. Parchment.

[B]

Honestly, like a piece of art.

[A]

Yeah. Olivia had the same one for NSync. And if you want to hear about the ASHRAE family childhood battle between NSYNC and Backstreet Boys, which is a lot more fascinating than you might think, read about it in my New York Times best selling book, Girl with no the Crazy Beautiful Life of an Instagram Thirst Monster.

[B]

Yeah, so that Jackie O.

[A]

Approved. She read it four times.

[B]

Three. Sorry, I just. Because I said this week I read it three times that, like, people would like.

[A]

So you haven't read it one more time since we last spoke? That's disgusting.

[B]

I haven't had a lot of time. I'm sorry.

[A]

Disgusting.

[B]

Are you ready for our next story, which is some cute, exciting news?

[A]

Some ces.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Kyle Richards will be starring in a movie for Peacock called the Real Housewives of the North Pole.

[A]

Oh, I didn't know that that's what it was called. I just read the headline that she was doing like a Hallmark holiday movie, and I'm like, oh, cute. Perfect for, like, her level of acting.

[B]

Called the Real Housewives of the North Pole, which is actually like, even more perfect, but a little confusing.

[A]

Yeah. Because now I'm not thinking it's going to be like a, you know, a Hallmark holiday movie. It's gonna be like a parody.

[B]

No, well, I. No, I don't think it's gonna be a parody. I think it's gonna be a Hallmark holiday movie about. I don't know.

[A]

It's really where the other Housewives cast.

[B]

As the only other cast member announced is Betsy Brandt.

[A]

Yes. I saw that on Kyle's Instagram and I do not know who she is.

[B]

Me neither. But Peacock announced on Thursday that an original film titled the Real Housewives of the North Pole will arrive on the streaming service later this year. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills vet Kyle Richards will star in the project alongside Breaking Bad alum Betsy Branch.

[A]

Who'd she played in Breaking Bad?

[B]

Do you recognize this woman?

[A]

Kind of. Breaking Bad was so long ago. No, honestly, I've literally never met that woman in my life.

[B]

Okay, well, you're about to.

[A]

Yeah. Can you tell me who she played?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Marie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The DEA agent's husband. Yeah. Yeah, I never watched it. Oh, my God, she was so annoying.

[B]

Well, hopefully.

[A]

You ever watch Breaking Bad.

[B]

No, I have spoken about this. We have spoken about it. And it's honestly not even on my content plate.

[A]

I have a really, really kind of hot take for you. When it comes to Peacock. In, you know, the wars of streaming, Peacock is like shitting the bed. Like they're not doing anything even remotely remarkable. Except for the Real Housewives All Stars, which hasn't even come out yet. And I just feel like every time we hear something like that they're doing, I'm just not into it. And also I have every streaming service. I don't even know if I have Peacock downloaded on my Apple tv and if I do, I never open it. Except one time when I was with Olivia, we watched at her house. We watched NYC Prep. That was premium.

[B]

They have a pretty good cat backlog catalog.

[A]

Bethany Ever After.

[B]

And when I did watch Downton Abbey, I'm pretty sure it was on Peacock even though it is now on Netflix. Definitely. Check it out. Here's a little more.

[A]

By the way, all the as of like last week, all of the Twilight films are now on Netflix and I bought them on Amazon prime. So like, it doesn't really affect me. Happy to support the franchise though.

[B]

So exciting and you know, if it's reaching new people, that's just so beautiful.

[A]

For like we're always welcoming new stands.

[B]

Here's a little descriptor of the movie. In the upcoming film, Richardson Brand stars Trish and Diana, AKA the Christmas queens of North Pole, Vermont. Okay, so they're not like Santa's elves. Okay. Okay, that's important. To clarify, it is the Christmas queens of North Pole, Vermont. Trish and Diana have won the best holiday house decorating competition every year for the past nine years.

[A]

It sounds so good.

[B]

But days before Christmas, a friendship ending argument sparks a town wide feud and draws the attention of a national magazine writer hoping to make a name for herself with her scintillating expose titled the Real Housewives of the North Pole.

[A]

Okay, this sounds stunning, stunning, Oscar worthy. So they obviously have like a battle. They both will decorate their home separately. Tribeca Film Festival is quite Sundance can Toronto tiff.

[B]

They're all calling saying we want this film.

[A]

It sounds so good.

[B]

Dennis.

[A]

Okay, I take back. Maybe, maybe Peacock is on to something.

[B]

Maybe Peacock is onto something. I mean you really can't go wrong with a great Christmas movie premise. And then to have this like Housewives tie in makes it uniquely Peacock.

[A]

Uniquely peacock.

[B]

No one else could.

[A]

Unique lock.

[B]

No one else could.

[A]

No one else could. This actually does not sound bad.

[B]

It does not Sound bad. I'm excited for Kyle.

[A]

I haven't really seen Kyle act in anything except on this week's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills when they did the flashback to Little House on the Prairie. I'm not gonna lie, I was quaking.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was shook.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

My bed was just rockin'.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So was hers, literally, because she had scarlet fever.

[B]

So upsetting.

[A]

So I don't think I've ever act. Seen her act in anything. So she wasn't acting an American woman. Right.

[B]

She was producing.

[A]

She was producing, and I never saw.

[B]

Her remake to Witch Mountain or.

[A]

No, that was when she was still a kid. Yeah, she also did that. What's that scary movie that's, like, really famous that she's in with Mike Myers and Jamie Lee Curtis. Halloween. They redid it too. Never saw it either. So.

[B]

Okay, so this will be the first.

[A]

I'm definitely gonna watch this. And you know what? I'm not trying to, like, jump to any conclusions or anything, but we are, like, low key, like, really close to Christmas.

[B]

I know. You know, I was. When I was watching Potomac, it made me so, so excited for winter when they were pulling up to Wendy's house and they were, like, getting out of the car and it was, like, snowy and icy and, like, it was, like, chilly. I was like, I love that feeling.

[A]

No, I know. And honestly, like, I'm on this side of Tick Tock where it's like they show you Christmas cookie videos and it's like 105 days till Christmas. And honestly, I feel like a part of growing up is like, really? I feel like when you were a kid, you would, like, die for the summer. And now I'm like, the summer's so hot. I still have to work. Like, I want Christmas time. Like, once Halloween starts, I feel like I'm actually the happiest. And that really harks back to what I said yesterday about me having reverse seasonal depression. Like, the summer does not make me happy. Nice weather does not make me happy. Like, staying inside with a hot cocoa and a fire roaring and a Christmas tree, like, that really brings me joy.

[B]

Would cultivate vibes. There are no vibes cultivated in the summer. That's so funny.

[A]

Yes. Because literally, like, I made the decision to sit in my living room on Sunday and I'm like, should I cultivate a vibe? Like, light some candles, dim the lights?

[B]

It doesn't work.

[A]

It's too hot to light candles.

[B]

It doesn't work in the summer.

[A]

It doesn't work. So I just feel, like, normalize. Stanning winter.

[B]

I think a lot of people do. The only thing I'll say is like, yes, that time is so exciting. Halloween, my birthday, Christmas, like, everyone's quaking. Jackie's birthday.

[A]

You're so lucky to have a birthday in November.

[B]

But then after New Year's it is bleak. Dark for a while, but for like four months.

[A]

But you know what I've realized since then? And I feel like when I was younger, I used to get like, really depressed after winter break. And it's like so much time until next summer or winter or summer break. But you know what's the cool thing about like the years is that they always come back around. So it's like, yes, okay, you could say it's, you know, right after Christmas, but you could also say 360 days till Christmas. You know what I mean?

[B]

I, I understand what you're, what you're saying, but I just.

[A]

No, whatever the message, I'm trying to.

[B]

Instead we should plan like an amazing trip for like February, March. Have something to look forward to.

[A]

Yeah, no, you're 100% right. February and March are really dark. Yeah, we need a. I mean, I guess we've like Passover slash Easter in like April.

[B]

Yeah, but no.

[A]

And Valentine's Day in February. But that's like a fake fucking holiday.

[B]

Yeah, but no.

[A]

Yeah, no.

[B]

Need a trip.

[A]

Yeah, let's get on that.

[B]

Let's get on that. Yeah, we're gonna preempt the calendar.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Are you ready for our next story?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Mark Wahlberg regrets going on an 11,000 calorie diet to quickly gain weight for his new movie.

[A]

You know, I really actually enjoy reporting on stories where like method actors or like really like highly trained actors get into shape or like gain weight, lose weight for a movie. Because the fact that people can have that much control over their weight is the most impressive thing to me. Like, if I knew how to do that, I could literally build a rocket. Like, I would be the smartest person ever.

[B]

The 50 year old departed service of the Tonight show on July 15th to promote his forthcoming drama Joe Bell. During the interview, Jimmy Fallon asked about the recent shoot for his latest film Stu, during which Mark at one point gained at least 20 pounds over the course of three weeks to portray a real life boxer turned priest. When he spoke with Jimmy back in April, before the process had begun, Mark sounded excited ebullent about the chance to gain a significant amount of weight over the course of the 30 day film. However, as he explained to Jimmy Fallon, he has since learned this was perhaps not the wisest choice, he said, unfortunately, I had to consume for two weeks, 7,000 calories, and then for another two weeks, 11,000 calories. And it was fun for about an hour. It was such a hard, physical thing to do. Losing weight, you just kind of tough it out. You just don't eat and exercise and this even when you're full. I would wake up after a meal and have another meal. I was eating every three hours. It was not fun.

[A]

I really just, like, have never related less to Mark Wahlberg.

[B]

Yeah, no, I can.

[A]

I can understand the. The plight of, like, having to eat when you're not hung. That's actually painful. But to even compare it to being harder than losing weight, like. No.

[B]

Well, I also think maybe, like, mentally, when you are, like, grinding to lose weight, there's, like, you know, you have a goal and you're. And you want to work towards that goal, but, like, the goal on this end is just to, you know, be unhealthy, and it's, like, hard to motivate yourself to want to do that to your body.

[A]

Yeah, I guess that's true.

[B]

But, like, especially when you're someone like Mark Wahlberg. Wahlberg. Mark Wahlberg, who's, like, always up in the gym working on his fitness.

[A]

He's my witness.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

He'd be riding down the block just to watch what I got.

[B]

So delicious.

[A]

So delicious. But you know what? Mark Wahlberg, like, is fergalicious. So I feel like that's. That makes this whole thing okay.

[B]

Yeah, no, he's definitely fergalicious. But I. He was struggling with things that were delicious. And his witness.

[A]

And he'd be riding around the block just to watch what I got.

[B]

Tasty. Taste it.

[A]

Fergalicious stuff. Fergalicious stuff. And you don't know that rap.

[B]

Gain weight when you don't want to.

[A]

Like, yeah, but, like, imagine just like, oh, I wish my life was involved with, like, me having to gain weight to make, like, $30 million in a movie. Like, I'm sorry. These celebrities are getting more and more out of touch.

[B]

Okay. Probably. But it's like Jimmy Fallon asked, you know.

[A]

Yeah. And that's on Jimmy Fountain.

[B]

And, like, they go on these shows to talk about what they've been up to, and, like, that's what he's been up to.

[A]

Yeah. I do feel like I haven't really heard a lot about Jimmy Fallon. Do you know what I mean? I feel like he was, like, interfaces for a while.

[B]

I feel like I go out of my way not to hear About Jimmy Fallon. Like, I saw a headline about Move away.

[A]

Like, yeah, you have.

[B]

Like I said on the Jimmies. Like, I can't.

[A]

If you had to rank the Jimmy's.

[B]

To me, they're both really bad, I.

[A]

Would say, including James Corden.

[B]

James Corden is probably my favorite because of like carpool karaoke. And he's given us a lot. I would say the little Jimmy Kimmel.

[A]

No, Fallon.

[B]

The shorter one. Kimmel, Smaller.

[A]

How many Jimmy's are there? Jimmy Fallon? Jimmy. Jimmy Kimmel.

[B]

No, I think Jimmy Kimmel is like.

[A]

You don't know who Jimmy Kimmel is?

[B]

He's the bigger one.

[A]

No, yeah, there. Jimmy Fallon is taller.

[B]

Okay. Jimmy Kimmel is not the one I'm talking is the bigger one.

[A]

Wait, and so which Jimmy is there? Another Jimmy.

[B]

Jimmy Fallon?

[A]

Yeah, Andy's friend.

[B]

I was gonna say that's the smaller one.

[A]

I would argue. He's bigger. He's taller.

[B]

Okay. Jimmy Fallon, height. Oh, six foot. Okay, I guess that's pretty tall. Let's find Jimmy Kimmel's height.

[A]

Well, I think he's like 5, 9.

[B]

Jimmy Kimmel, height. 6:1. So I was right.

[A]

No, he's not.

[B]

No, it's literally.

[A]

What does it say?

[B]

6:1.

[A]

Joe, Jimmy Kimmel is not the same.

[B]

6:1, but on a different side. It says 5 foot 11. You just can't get straight answers.

[A]

Okay, whatever. So if you rank best to worst.

[B]

Okay. I really don't like them all. I would say I like Fallon more than Kimmel. If. Of course, if I had to say.

[A]

Yeah. And you like James Corden better than both of them?

[B]

Yes, but also because, like, I guess James Corden is around a lot and like, in your face are.

[A]

The Gen Z generation hates Jimmy Fallon. Like, like, no James Corden.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yes. They despise him. Like they were. There was so much outrage that he was on the Friends reunion. Like, they just think he's so annoying. And honestly, I like him.

[B]

You do like him.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I just lost all my stories, like, trying to find the Jimmies. Okay. And that's why I hate the Jimmies.

[A]

Unbelievable.

[B]

My stories are back.

[A]

Okay, good.

[B]

Like, I got them. I. They didn't just pop back up.

[A]

The boys are back. The boys are back. Probably the worst song from High School Musical, but the most. Is that when they're in the junkyard.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Atrocious.

[B]

And then they're like, kids, kids.

[A]

The campers.

[B]

Oh, my God, so bad.

[A]

Horrible.

[B]

Anyways, in a little space. News of the week. You guys know Jeff Bezos is going to space and his flight will include the youngest and the oldest humans to go to space.

[A]

I just feel like he's overcompensating for the fact that Richard Branson got there first. He's like, well, I'm gonna break some world records.

[B]

Like, and I understand why. Like, you know, he made all these strides to go to space, and he's not even going to be, like, the first billionaire private, like, bought a ticket to go to space. No.

[A]

Now you're, like, a loser copier.

[B]

So I understand his need to, like, one up and do something for the Guinness Book of World Records. Sure. But I don't think that this is it.

[A]

No. It's not even impressive. Not. Not to be rude.

[B]

Like, could he bring a dog to space?

[A]

Love that idea. You know, also, like, he's just giving me, like, major Luan de La steps, like, early Real Housewives of New York vibes, like, constantly one upping, like, him, her fancy friends. This is just like, I feel like he should just take the loss, you know, like, him overcompensating for getting their second with these illusory attempts, it's kind of making the whole thing more loser.

[B]

And it's like, if you really want to go to space, like, that should be enough for you. Like, do it for yourself, Diana. Don't do it for other people.

[A]

So true.

[B]

If that doesn't fulfill you going to space on its own, whether first, second, third. But by the way, you're second. Don't think that you're first.

[A]

Don't get it twisted.

[B]

Then, like, really, what's the point of how much money you spend and all of this?

[A]

No, you're so right. That's actually one of the key takeaways from my bestselling book, Book Girl with no Job, the Crazy Beautiful Life of an Instagram third sponsor. It's like doing things for yourself, not for, like, the perception of others. And I feel like that's something Jeff Bezos could actually really use from my book.

[B]

Yeah. And you can get it on Amazon really easily.

[A]

Prime comes in a day.

[B]

Yeah, I'm sure. Or the Kindle is automatic download, like, in a minute.

[A]

Yeah. He could download it on his Kindle on his way to space. Great read. You know, for his journey. Yeah.

[B]

Space read. Right? It's like, you could take a book into. There's so many things that you could do.

[A]

You know, you're 100, right. If we're gonna break a record, like, let's do a cool one. This is honestly not inspiring at all.

[B]

But he's taking an 18 year old and an 82 year old. And that's what he wants you to know. And that's what he thinks is gonna set him apart.

[A]

I just have to say, and I don't want to jinx anything. I'm not trying to be like a bad omen, but like all this, like, billionaire, like, having fun in space, spending money. It's all fun and games till something goes wrong. You know, like we're. We're not just like, you know, taking a roller coaster ride. Like we're actually doing something incredibly dangerous.

[B]

100%. Which reminds me of Jessica Simpson's book, which is when like she was in school and they were watching. They were watching the season space takeoff. I forget what the name of the flight was.

[A]

We weren't. We weren't alive.

[B]

The one that crashed.

[A]

And like they played it in all the schools. It was like such a big deal.

[B]

The Challenger, seven years old and.

[A]

And they never took off. The whole thing just exploded.

[B]

No, they took off and, and it exploded.

[A]

Okay, so.

[B]

And they all like were watching it.

[A]

Yeah. Like all these kids were traumatized. A generation of kids traumatized from watching like a live killing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I'm just saying, like, we're all joking about it, but it's actually very dangerous. And NASA, even the world's leading space researchers, even though you had made a mistake a couple years ago with the Challenger. So, like, it's not that crazy, but it's a dangerous job.

[B]

I think that's what Jeff wants you to, to think too. Like Jeff Bezos. Brave.

[A]

I'm not gonna lie. When I think of Jeff Bezos, a lot of adjectives come up. And brave is not on that list. I think of smart, greedy, bald. Like, I think of a lot of things. Brain.

[B]

No, I think of newspaper in the morning.

[A]

That's what I think I think of. I want to get drunk with you. Not, not too drunk, just a little tipsy. Yeah, that's what I think.

[B]

Sick.

[A]

And I want to read the newspaper with you.

[B]

So sick. That's really what I think of. Honestly. I hope he brings a newspaper to space.

[A]

To be honest, I really don't think Jeff Bezos has ever fully recovered reputation wise. From his skin.

[B]

No.

[A]

Where his text messages were released.

[B]

Crazy. I think that he has recovered reputation wise. 100. Like nobody even references it anymore. Like he's still with her, even though it's like the brother who leaked the messages. But for me, like, that's all I think about. And it's, I guess because he like decides what people think. About. He's put it out of their minds. I, like, can't be, like, controlled. I can't be tamed.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like that. I'm still thinking about it, but I think it's a really good point. I can't believe that everybody's moved on in the way that they have. And not every article starts with Jeff Bezos, who once said, I want to wake up with you and read the newspaper.

[A]

Like, no, by the way, you're 100% right. But I can believe that people have forgotten about it for the exact reason you just mentioned. Like, he owns the Washington Post. He's, like, one of the most powerful people in our country. Like, of course we're no longer thinking about it. He doesn't want us to. He put a chip in us. Like, you're 100% right.

[B]

So that's my. That's my thoughts. But I. We're at the morning toast. We're here to remind you. Like, those things happen.

[A]

You know what? You know what I think I'll do today? I think I'll repost those text messages on our Instagram.

[B]

Never forget.

[A]

Hashtag never forget. And then. And probably my favorite time to ever be alive was when his text messages came out and there was, like, a challenge in the toaster community when girls were sending word for word what he was like these creepy, kind of, like, lame attempts at romance.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Romantic text messages to their, like, fiance's or girlfriends or husbands. And the responses were so funny. That was, like, my favorite time to be alive.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And now I have nothing to live for because everyone's forgotten.

[B]

Everyone's forgotten, but not us. You can't. You can't run away from it, Jeff. Like, you can go to space, but we'll never forget.

[A]

Just like. Who did you say. You said Jason Momoa was? Zoe. No. Remember when you said.

[B]

Remember when you said that Jason Momoa That. That Zoe Kravitz is Jason Momoa's stepdaughter?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Daughter.

[A]

What's wrong with me? Yeah. Memories of that is, like, now. It's like, I don't know where I was going with this. Maybe just move on.

[B]

Okay, I'll move on until you can get your footing back.

[A]

It's not gonna happen.

[B]

So are you ready for our fifth and final story?

[A]

Only if it's the final story.

[B]

We need a triangle, because when I. When I hit.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

When I hit that last note, I just want to ding the triangle.

[A]

Order it from Jeff Bezos's blog.

[B]

Okay. Our fifth and final.

[A]

And we'll get Like a little hook and we'll hang it right here.

[B]

Yeah, it's just like.

[A]

Or maybe we need. We need like a. What's it called on the drums? A timber timble.

[B]

No, no, but for this particular song, the sound we're emulating is a triangle.

[A]

I actually feel like. What's it called? Symbol.

[B]

No, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Like, I think that is actually more of the vibe I'm personally going for musically.

[B]

Okay, that's fine for you, but I want a triangle.

[A]

Can you order two triangles? Thanks.

[B]

Thanks. That's exciting, you guys. The toast is moving on up.

[A]

We're becoming a musical show.

[B]

We always were.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But we used to be acapella and now we're gonna have instruments.

[A]

Yeah, we're going acoustic.

[B]

Are you ready?

[A]

God, my legs are hairy. I really need to use my Athena Club razor.

[B]

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

[A]

Can you guys see it?

[B]

No, they can't because my legs have been so hairy all week.

[A]

This is actually like chutzpah level.

[B]

No, they can't see it. I've already conducted this experiment on the show.

[A]

Can you see it? Your. My hair from your purview?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No, I don't think so. Are you ready?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

For our fifth and final story. Because it's so controversial, shark advocates are calling for a rebranding of violent attacks as interactions. So they want them to be called instead of shark attacks, they want them to be called shark interactions. Marine experts and advocates in Australia are urging the public to refrain from using the word attack in reference to sharks, declaring that the majestic predatory fish has been unfairly stigmatized as a deliberate killer. Instead, officials have suggested that violent run ins with sharks be dubbed with more neutral words such as interaction. Others have suggested swapping the word with the terms negative, encounter, incident, or simply bites. The University of Sydney language researcher Christopher Pepin Neff said shark attack is a lie. He argued that a majority of what people call attacks are merely nips and minor injuries from smaller sharks.

[A]

Like, honestly, stories like this make me not want to like, live in this world anymore. Like, like for real, like, are you serious? Like, you're worried about the sharks feelings?

[B]

Like, no offense, sharks doesn't watch the news.

[A]

No. And like, no offense, like, sharks don't have feelings and they don't really care about, like, your.

[B]

Sharks don't speak English.

[A]

Okay. Sharks don't speak English. Totally. And like, I just can't believe that they're like actually really smart people who have dedicated their entire lives to like professor to academia and, and this is what they came up with, like, no wonder we haven't cured cancer yet. Everyone's focused on the dumb of all time. Like the linguistics of Shark Hood. Like I, I honestly can. And it's really upsetting. Like, I know we're joking, but like, it's really upsetting. No, do you know what I'm saying?

[B]

This is really upsetting because this is.

[A]

What, where we've gotten to as a society. Minutia of how we refer to shark attacks. And I'm sorry, we don't attack sharks, they attack us. It's an attack.

[B]

It's an attack.

[A]

So I'm just like disgusted. Like I really am. Especially coming off of being at Comedy Cellar last night where like everyone was saying the craziest shit and I'm like, really? And now I'm back in the real world.

[B]

Like where it's like shark interaction. It's a shark interaction.

[A]

Literally. Like, how did we get here?

[B]

Like, so upsetting. And it also like it you worry about. Okay, say you know what? Shark enthusiasts, go ahead. Like, then what's next?

[A]

No, of course it's not about the sharks. Even though it kind of is like, like it's just about the.

[B]

It's not about the sharks, honestly. It's about the people. Cuz the sharks don't care.

[A]

No. And it's like if only the sharks knew that. Like there were these losers advocating the.

[B]

Sharks would bite them.

[A]

Literally. And you know what? Justice for anyone who's ever been bitten by a shark. This is so insensitive to them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm just really sick. And I reject this. I reject. I reject. No. Shark attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Shark attack. Shark attack. Shark attack. Shark attack. Shark attack. What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? Shark attack. Shark attack. Shark attack. What was that? Oh, it was a shark attack attack. What are you gonna do about that, huh, Professor Christopher? What are you gonna do? Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack.

[B]

Attack.

[A]

Attack. Shark attack. Shark attack. Shark attack. Christopher. Shark attack.

[B]

You're reminding me of that shark from Finding Nemo.

[A]

Which one?

[B]

You know, the one. Fish are friends, not food.

[A]

Yeah. And I feel like, honestly, that movie was actually detrimental and, and was one of the reasons that got us here. It's like, look, the shark is nice. It's not based on a real story. No shark ever said fish are friend, not food because they eat fish, because.

[B]

They don't speak English.

[A]

That as well. So I just feel like it's kind of been this like subliminal messaging teaching.

[B]

Our kids like normalizing Normalizing.

[A]

Sharks. And it's like, they are a deadly predator. No, Ellen. Animated feature film is gonna change that.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Shark Attack. Shark Attack.

[B]

And honestly, like, you can't negotiate with a shark.

[A]

No, you can't. And I wouldn't suggest it. And also, and I just really can't stress this enough, as you said so pointantly, sharks don't speak English.

[B]

Also, like, when I said, like, what comes next? I'll tell you what it would be. They would make them change the name of Shark Tank.

[A]

No doubt.

[B]

They would make them change the name because it's offensive to sharks.

[A]

I'm surprised we haven't gotten there yet in this twisted society.

[B]

But if this. If this goes through, that's what's next.

[A]

It's not gonna go through. You want to know why? Because we reject it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Shark attack. Shark Attack. Shark Attack. Attack. We need Kevin O' Leary back on.

[B]

The show just to discuss this 100%. So anyways, if you do find yourself, like, at a dinner party or a wedding this weekend, like, I do feel like this is a good topic of conversation. You can get to know a lot about someone based on what they.

[A]

What their opinion is on their story.

[B]

100.

[A]

And honestly, if you just feel like starting at, like, a family barbecue to stand up and say, shark attack. Shark attack. Shark attack. Yeah, we have a little TV recap, because Love island was on last night, and we both caught up. All right. Love Island. I have to say, on Wednesday night's episode, at the very end, when Cinco chose Trina, I had a feeling he was going to. But part of me was, like, when he was actually saying it, he seemed so sad. I'm like, oh, I think maybe he's actually gonna pick Cash. I was devastated. Like, I really was. And it's very possible that he was meant to be with Trina and they have, like, a better connection. But I just don't like how the whole thing unraveled. And when they were all sitting at that all girls brunch, and basically, Cash was just trying to, like, I don't even know if that's true. Like, he went for Trina because she didn't open up. She was just trying to, like, rationalize what was going on. And I thought Trina was, like, being rude, like, basically saying, like, interrupting her and being like, I find that offensive because you're basically saying, like, I'm his second choice when, like, she really was not saying that at all. And I just. I know she was saying it a little bit. Well, you know what?

[B]

She should.

[A]

Because literally what Trina did. Trina was being a Jezebel.

[B]

I don't think so. Like, this is the name of the game. I think these two girls are friends. I think it's painful for both of them, and you don't need to put one down in order.

[A]

She didn't even mention Trina.

[B]

No, but, like. Like, that's what she was doing.

[A]

No, she wasn't.

[B]

And I also feel like I totally understand why Cash is upset, but I feel like everything that she says kind of is or is saying, like, about the situation, like, I'm not upset. Like, and then she'll say, like, I. I put up walls with Cinco. But then she'll also say, like, I was like. But then we see her, and she's fully into him, and I'm just like, but how do you really feel? Because I feel like she's just, like, wanting to say the right things because she knows that, like, that's the show. Like, that this. You know, you have to be open, and everybody gets to meet everyone. But it's like, I'm having a hard time getting at how she really feels about it.

[A]

That's actually a good point. She does contradict herself a little bit, but I. I.

[B]

Not for any, like, malevolent reason other than I just think she really is trying to be rational and not emotional. But it's like, you can be emotional. It's love Island. Love is emotional.

[A]

Yeah. She definitely is, like, has her guard up on. On what she wants to reveal and how she wants to be perceived. Because, honestly, now that he chose Trina, she doesn't really have any other prospects. She's spoken to no one. No.

[B]

But then Isaiah just popped up, and all of a sudden, there's connection there. I really like. Because I like Amy and Jeremy together.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

I think she likes him and his bad kissing and all.

[A]

I know. There's just, like, something so loser about Jeremy.

[B]

I know. I just feel like whenever we see his conversations with the woman that he's into, like. Like, they're not showing us anything of interest.

[A]

Substantial. Yeah.

[B]

But then it's like, he has such a good friendship with Cash, and, like, you see him, like, around the house, and it's like, okay, there must be more to this man, because everyone really.

[A]

Likes him, and, like, they all, like, respect him, and they say he's, like, the nicest guy in the house.

[B]

So if he was such a dud, that wouldn't be the case.

[A]

Yeah, but he's giving off Duddy vibes.

[B]

100 and I like Shannon and Josh once again.

[A]

Yes, me too. Honestly, I feel like I'm on the roller coaster with Shannon. Like I, I hate Josh. But also like, they're clearly otp.

[B]

No, but also like when he came back from that date, he was doing the most. It was actually the perfect exercise for him. And in being able to prove to Shannon that he's 100, like he did everything so right, like above and beyond. Right. Like leaving, kissing her, coming back, kissing her, like, didn't really give Florina any. He said she was like beautiful and stuff. But yeah, didn't really give her any hope.

[A]

Yeah. My worry with Josh, like, if I was Shannon is like on the weekend where the boys are in charge, like he can be a dick. And then on the week where like Shannon is in charge, he's like a kiss ass.

[B]

But it's actually been the opposite.

[A]

Yes, that's true. Because he, I don't think he realized that the first recoupling was going to be the girls because he wouldn't have on that morning kissed Amy. No. Was it? Yeah.

[B]

Amy, I think you know who the recoupling is going to be based on who. If there's more boys.

[A]

More boys and girls. I know, but it was like the first week. I honestly don't think he know. He realized. I really don't.

[B]

Wow. That would, that would actually be kind of of sweet if he didn't realize. Because that means he's not just thinking about sticking around, he's just sort of going with how he feels.

[A]

I just don't understand why they don't just commit to each other. Because then like when she was like, I'm gonna talk to Isaiah, like they get in trouble when they agree to like be open with other people. But then they get jealous. Like, why don't you just agree not to be open?

[B]

Because it's too early and they're really there to meet more people. So it's like if there's going to be someone who comes in who's better suited for them, then they should, they should be able to discover that because they're there to meet the person that's best for them.

[A]

I know, but don't they also want to win and the long couples win?

[B]

So I would just like find someone necessarily. The long couples win because if they just cut became in a couple now and that was it, there was nothing really more from them. They wouldn't win because nobody really likes either of them yet. Like, they are not boring. They haven't like had to choose each other over other people. Like, with Strife, it's a lot. It's a lot more than that. And still, like, right now, watching it, I don't know. I don't know which couple would. Is even a front runner for winning.

[A]

Well, they're all so messy. Like, I feel like they, like. Like Will and Kira, but they are boring. You're right. And I, like, don't like them. I, like, hate them both.

[B]

No, I just get. I just think something is gonna happen.

[A]

She's a lot like. And he appears to be into, like, her overwhelming kind of smothering nature, but that does get old in a house for weeks.

[B]

Yeah. And, like, what if someone comes in who catches his eye and his mind, like, just right now. He hasn't been with met anyone who he likes more than Kira, so that makes it really easy. But, like, you know who I think.

[A]

He'S actually really well suited for? Amy.

[B]

They had a little.

[A]

They had something and they never explored it because he decided to stay with you.

[B]

But that could come back around, right?

[A]

Because, like, they're. They both speak Spanish.

[B]

They're vegan.

[A]

They're vegan. They're both just kind of like, weirdly intellectual in like a, you know, metaphysical sense.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's always, like, doing yoga. She wants to preserve the planet for her future children. Like. Like, I think that actually they're a perfect match because I think him and Kira is a very physical relationship. And I think that definitely will fizzle out. Like, I don't think they're going to ride it out together.

[B]

I don't think it's sustainable. Yeah, it's too much too soon.

[A]

It's overwhelming. Like, they are never not together. Like, they sleep together, they wake up, they do yoga together, they breakfast together, they sit on the pool together. Like, it's a lot.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just human nature, like, to be with the same person for so long.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I'm just, like, loving. I know I keep saying this, like, being a part of something, even though I gotta download the app and, like, start voting. Because, like, all three girls going on a date with Corey.

[B]

Twisted. It didn't make sense because.

[A]

Because they all said who they wanted.

[B]

To go came in in the first episode and we. When did people vote? Because we were watching the episode when we met them and then later.

[A]

No, at the end of.

[B]

We got introduced to them and then they said.

[A]

It said, go vote at the end of, like, an episode from the end of last week.

[B]

Okay. But I really like, like, Corey and Florina.

[A]

Me too, of course.

[B]

I think that actually if they can, like, like, that's a couple where it's like, okay, we see what they have in common. They've explored other people. They're really. And if they got together and then continue to build, like, that's a couple that could win.

[A]

Yeah. No, I think they're a good couple, too. And of course, I was happy for Cory because he's, like, had literally nothing going on.

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

But all three girls getting the date, like, made no sense. And it wasn't even a date. It was literally them sitting in the corner of the house. I thought they were gonna leave.

[B]

No, it was really silly. But then they got their actual dates, which sucks for Corey because they were like. Like, I'm not taking Corey on a romantic day because we've already spent time with him. And so they took people that they just wanted to talk to that they hadn't gotten a chance to yet.

[A]

Yeah. The house is so nice.

[B]

Like, sick.

[A]

Every time they pan, I'm like, I would love to go on vacation here. Like, it's so bright and colorful. The slide looks very dangerous.

[B]

All the houses, like, they do a really good job with the neon signs and, like, the bright colors, the big heart. Also, the females, like, just looks and glam and outfits are just so on point.

[A]

You want to know why? Because I think, like, I think they spend most of their days, like, sitting in that makeup room because they really don't swim that. That much or, like, do anything. They, like, work out in the morning and then they, like, gossip, and they always gossip in the room. So if that was me, I'd be sitting in the air conditioning flat ironing my hair the entire day.

[B]

No, it really is like camp. I think in the morning they do the workouts, and I do think they. That they swim, but they probably can't wear their mics while they're swimming. So there's nothing that interesting. And then I think it's like shower hour. And then they all.

[A]

Let's talk about shower.

[B]

They all step out and they do their, like, slow mo and like, they walk to. They each get a glass of wine and it's just like, must be the most fun camp.

[A]

I agree as well. But let's talk about shower hour. Do the boys and girls have separate showers? Because it always looks like they're in the same room, not at the same time.

[B]

I think that they do because it's CBS and the house is huge.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So why would there be one bathroom?

[A]

But they probably just, like, are the same exact layout because I always see them, like, in the same shower as the boys. But then it's also multiple heads in the shower, but no doors.

[B]

Right. So they're just, you know, looking at each other.

[A]

Something that happened a few weeks ago, like. No, actually, like, maybe at the beginning of this week when Cinco was, like, starting to have feelings for Trina again. He was talking to the guys and they were in the shower, and he was not in the shower. And he opened the door and stuck his head in to talk to them. There was two guys in the shower. So he was, like, looking at two penises, being like, I don't know what to do. Like, Cash is like, you know, I'm having second thoughts or whatever. And I'm like, did you just stick your head into the shower?

[B]

Yes, he did. And if I had to guess, I would say would be because maybe he thought the audio wouldn't get picked up.

[A]

Oh, oh, oh. Yeah. They do not let go of those microphones. They sleep with them.

[B]

Like, I know. Oh.

[A]

And I never. I didn't really understand why every time they wake up, they put on sunglasses. It's because they're under production lighting when they've just been asleep.

[B]

Yeah. No, the room gets so bright from being pitch black. Yeah.

[A]

Awful.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think the only thing I couldn't envision myself being a part of is the sleeping arrangements. Like, of course, being in bathing suits. Yeah. But having to sleep with a stranger, and not only that, in a room with 15 other people, it's actually very unsettling. Like, what if you fart? Like, you know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah. I'm sure there's a lot of farting.

[A]

Yeah. Like, I haven't slept with a stranger since I was, like, in college.

[B]

Well, camp.

[A]

Yeah, I guess. But like, in camp, you're only with girls and, like, you're all just like. Yeah. Farting and like, you're shaving your legs. Like you're like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All like, gross together. But, like, with boys, like, you wouldn't. Wouldn't do that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's the part that, like, also I felt that way about. Too hot to handle. And the two hot to handle beds are very small. I think they're full size mattresses. Where I think is in Love island, they're all queen size.

[B]

Yeah. No, it seems like, pretty, like, a good setup. And I'm sure they got comfort. Like, maybe at first it's weird, but I think they're, like, comfortable now. I'm sure when they go home, they, like, miss all their camp friends.

[A]

That's how I used to feel I can't like it, miss the, you know, the, the loudness of the bunk and then you get back to your home and it's like so silent, so quiet. I think as a child I went through like many a mini depression after camp. Like I took it really hard.

[B]

I think most that's a sign of.

[A]

A good summer 100 now I crave the winters. And that is our show.

[B]

That is our show.

[A]

So for next week, let's talk about it. I have lined up a couple guests.

[B]

A couple premium guests. I'm really excited to watch.

[A]

The schedule is not set yet, so I will be posting at some point over the weekend the entire schedule for next week. I'm really hoping to do Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday in studio with fabulous co hosts and then you and I can catch up Thursday, Friday with some podcast only transatlantic, continental, transcontinental content. So stay tuned. I will keep you abreast, but I'm just working on some last minute logistics. I've got two out of three of the co hosts booked, looking to host one more. But I'll keep you abreast as always. But we'll, we'll be in studio on Monday, so just stay with us.

[B]

Yeah, I'm so excited to watch. I'm excited for my trip. I'm gonna miss you guys, but I'm really excited. I'm excited to get away. You know, I always come back with so, with a whole new energy. Joa de Viville and I really, I think that I need that. You know, it's like this, in this heat of July and like it's time for me to go and it's time.

[A]

For us to go into our weekends and for you to go back to work or to start drinking. I don't know. Thank you guys so much for listening to the morning shows. The millennial morning show where we deliver the fast five stories that you. Yes, you need to know before you wake up Monday through Friday.

[B]

Before you wake up and take a bite out of. No, before you.

[A]

This is what the problem we had yesterday. Thank you so much for listening to the morning toast, the millennium morning show where we Deliver the Fast 5 stories every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast anywhere. Podcasts can be found so at Spotify, itunes, stitcher, Public Radio, IO Radio, Castbox, all the places. So wherever you listen to podcasts, find us when you show us. Leave a five star review about how beautiful stunning and smart. We are now that we know that a lot of people still listen. Because all of you guys left the matcha emoji today.

[B]

I think Shark emoji today.

[A]

Oh, for sure. Shark emoji on our Instagram. This is like a secret little society. I'm so excited. Thank you. I can't believe how many people commented on our Instagram.

[B]

It was just so fun to watch.

[A]

Love you guys. We have to wrap it up so people don't think there's something happening. Love you guys.

[B]

Have a great day.

[A]

We'll see you on Monday.

[B]

Shark Attack. Bye.