Attract Don't Chase with Chitra Rochlani

3 Key Steps to Optimize your mindset

We treat our bodies like temples, yet we often treat our minds like overflowing storage units.Think about your routine. We go to the gym to work out. We take care of our skin by drinking water and using the right products. We visit spas for treatments that make us glow. We obsess over longevity and “Blue Zone” habits. We nourish ourselves with high-nutrient foods.We do so much for the physical vessel we live in. But here is the uncomfortable question I need you to ask yourself today: Are you doing the same for your mind?Or are you just skipping that part?The High Cost of Mental ClutterYou could have the most physically fit body in the room. You could have perfect blood work and glowing skin. But if you are miserable on the inside if you are living in a constant state of fear, worry, doubt, or insecurity what is the point?Authentic success begins with Inner Alignment. If your mindset isn’t working at its optimal best, your quality of life drops tremendously, regardless of how “healthy” you look on the outside.I call this having an unofficial PhD in mindset. I spend my days studying the patterns, behaviors, and belief systems that make us who we are. And just like we need a protocol for our physical health, we need one for our mental health.Here is a 3-step protocol, aligned with the G.R.O.W. model, to help you detoxify your mind.1. The Assessment (Get Insight)You cannot fix what you do not see. Step one is simply to assess where your mind is right now.Take a moment. On a scale of one to ten, where are you?* Is it a 1? (”I’m so stressed I don’t even know what’s going on.”)* Is it a 10? (”I’m in a state of bliss.”)Be honest. Are you constantly bombarded with thoughts of fear or insecurity? Are you running on the “hamster wheel,” trying to get everything done and please everyone else?In my workshops, I describe the mind like a TV screen with a ticker tape scrolling at the bottom, like the stock prices on a news channel. Right now, is your ticker tape filled with 20,000 distracting thoughts? Or are you actually present?We have glorified multitasking, but splitting your focus only adds stress. We need to stop pretending that watching TV while scrolling our phones is “relaxing”. It is just noise.2. The Detox (Recognize & Release)Once you have assessed the damage, you have to detox what does not serve you.Just like you wouldn’t let garbage pile up in your kitchen, you have to clear the “old gunk” from your mind. This gunk looks like old fears, doubts, and insecurities that you have been holding onto for years. Maybe they kept you safe when you were younger, but now they are just holding you back.This is the Peel phase of my PFH framework. We need to peel away the layers.* Release the patterns: Write down the old beliefs that are limiting you and burn the paper (safely!) or flush it away. It is a physical act of letting go.* Release the toxicity: This includes toxic media and toxic people. I stopped watching the news years ago because the toxicity was too high a price to pay for “being informed”.* Energetic Detachment: If you cannot physically remove a toxic person (maybe they are a coworker or family member), you can still energetically detach from them. This is a powerful boundary setting technique I teach my clients to protect their peace.3. The Nourishment (Overturn & Win)Now that you have cleared the space, you must nourish it.You wouldn’t detox your body just to fill it back up with processed junk. So, why do we do that to our minds?Look at where you are spending your time, energy, and money. Are you spending it on things that bring peace, or things that add stress?* Are you buying things just to “keep up with the Joneses”?* Are you using coping mechanisms like food, alcohol, or shopping to check out?* Are you giving in to a tantrum (from a child or an adult) just to buy a moment of quiet, even though it reinforces bad behavior?True nourishment comes from quality people, quality situations, and quality time with yourself. It comes from making decisions that attract peace in the long run, not just convenience in the short run.Your Inner Alignment StrategyThis work does not happen overnight. Sometimes it takes years to peel back these layers. But it is never too late to begin.I want you to have a strong body and a strong mind. You deserve to feel as successful on the inside as you look on the outside.If you are looking for a safe harbor to do this work a place where you can drop the mask and focus on building true mental strength this is your invitation to join us inside the Align Lab. We have facilitators providing different modalities because I know one size does not fit all.Let’s start treating our minds with the same respect we give our bodies.To your peace,Chitra RochlaniP.S. Ready to declutter your mind? * Join the Community: If you want a fun, safe place to work on your mindset, check out the Align Lab membership, join here: https://www.fitwarriorlife.com/alignlab Get full access to Chitra Rochlani at thewarriormindset.substack.com/subscribe

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She Survived Breast Cancer, Then Leukemia. Here’s How She Kept Laughing.

Dec 1600:40:10Tap to summarize

In this week’s episode, I sat down with a new friend, Nancy Steinberg, who has a story that will stop you in your tracks. Nancy is a healthcare communications professional and a passionate cancer patient advocate. But before she was an advocate, she was a patient navigating a terrifying reality not once, but twice.Nancy is a 26-year breast cancer survivor and has been living with Chronic Myeloid Leukemia (CML) for the past 14 years. Her story isn’t just about medical survival; it is about the emotional resilience required to keep living fully while managing chronic illness.Here are the biggest takeaways from our conversation.1. Grief and Diagnosis Often CollideNancy’s first diagnosis came at the hardest possible moment. Twenty-six years ago, just two months after her mother passed away from metastatic breast cancer, Nancy was diagnosed with the same disease.She was a young mother to a two-year-old son and was still reeling from the loss of her best friend and confidant. Instead of taking time to grieve, she had to go into survival mode. She underwent a mastectomy and reconstruction while working through chemotherapy, driven by the need to be there for her son.“For me, the hardest thing was losing my mom... knowing that I had to look after [my son], and be strong, I just sort of persevered.”2. The Fear of Discrimination is RealFourteen years ago, a routine blood test revealed Nancy had elevated white blood cells, leading to a diagnosis of CML, a type of blood cancer. Unlike her breast cancer, which she was open about, Nancy hid her leukemia diagnosis from her employers for years.She admitted she was “petrified” of discrimination. She feared that if she checked “Yes” on the disability forms or disclosed her illness, she would be passed over for promotions or seen as unable to handle responsibilities. It is a stark reminder that even in modern workplaces, the fear of professional stigma forces many to suffer in silence.3. Step Away from “Dr. Google”If there is one piece of advice Nancy wants every patient to hear, it is this: Do not consult Dr. Google.The internet is filled with worst-case scenarios that can send you down a negative path. Instead, Nancy emphasizes finding a community, real people who have walked the path before you. Whether it is a support group or just a friend who listens, connecting with others who understand your experience is far more healing than researching symptoms online.4. Find Your “Fetal Position” ComfortHow do you cope with the anxiety of scans and chronic management? Nancy’s approach is refreshing: embrace what brings you joy, no matter how small or “immature” it might seem.For Nancy, that means enjoying New York City theater, engaging in a little “retail therapy,” or sleeping in the fetal position with a comforting teddy bear from London. Her philosophy is simple: Do the things that make you happy. Cancer is something she lives with, It’s not who she is.“I have my husband and I have my work and I have cancer... you have to maintain it.”Final ThoughtsNancy’s transition from a patient hiding her diagnosis to an outspoken advocate was sparked by an epiphany at a conference. She realized her unique position, straddling the worlds of healthcare PR and patient experience, allowed her to help others feel less alone.If you are feeling overwhelmed by a health challenge today, take a page out of Nancy’s book: Step away from the search bar, call a friend, and don’t be afraid to find comfort in the little things.Connect with Nancy: If Nancy’s story resonated with you, you can connect with her on LinkedIn: 🔗 Nancy Steinberg on LinkedIn Get full access to Chitra Rochlani at thewarriormindset.substack.com/subscribe

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Stop Being “Nice”: The Hidden Cost of Compliance

Dec 900:46:23Tap to summarize

We are taught that empathy is a virtue. But what happens when your kindness becomes the weapon used against you?We often believe that if we are just “nice enough,” “helpful enough,” or “compliant enough,” we can make our relationships work. We think our empathy is a shield. But my latest guest, communication coach Robin Robin Golinski, learned the hard way that for a manipulator, your empathy isn’t a shield, it’s a target.In a candid and heartbreaking conversation, Robin shared how she went from being a prominent business owner to facing a “dark night of the soul” in 2011: a trifecta of divorce, bankruptcy, and foreclosure.Here is what she learned about the high cost of compliance, and how you can reclaim your voice before it’s too late.The “Service” TrapRobin’s struggle didn’t start with her husband; it started with a core limiting belief developed in childhood: “I am only of worth through my own acts of service.”.This is a common trap for many of us. We believe we are only lovable if we are useful. We think we can only be respected as long as we are providing value.Because of this low self-worth, Robin was perfectly positioned for a manipulator. Unlike her mother, who was critical, her husband was her “biggest cheerleader”. He validated her. He love-bombed her.As Robin put it in one of the most chilling metaphors of the episode:“His praise was just the rope used to tie me up with.”“I Thought You Were Smart”The most painful moment of Robin’s story wasn’t the loss of money—it was the loss of identity.When the house of cards finally collapsed and Robin realized her husband had buried her financially, she had to tell her 17-year-old daughter. Her daughter looked at her and said five words that cut deeper than any bankruptcy hearing:“Huh. I thought you were smart.”It was a knife through the heart. Robin had spent years trying to “finesse” the situation, thinking she was smart enough to untangle the mess quietly. But manipulators thrive in the shadows. By keeping his secrets to avoid “confrontation,” she had become an accomplice to her own destruction.The Cost of ComplianceWhy do we stay? Why do we say “yes” when our intuition screams “no”?Robin explains that we are terrified of the backlash. We convince ourselves that “it’s just easier” to comply in the moment to wear the outfit he wants, to sign the paper, to agree to the demand.But Robin argues that we need to calculate the Cost of Compliance. The cost is not just annoyance; it is the “erosion of yourself”. When you constantly comply to keep the peace, you stop trusting yourself. You realize you cannot rely on you.The Tool: Hit The Pause ButtonSo, how do you break free?Robin teaches us that we don’t need to start a war. We just need to stop rolling over. Her number one tool for building mental resilience is simple: The Pause Button.Manipulators rely on urgency. They want you to agree now, while you are distracted or emotional.* Step 1: Stop talking. (Talking too much provides fodder for them to use against you) .* Step 2: Take a breath to move from your “fight or flight” brain back to your thinking brain.* Step 3: Use a non-compliant phrase. “I’ll think about it.” “I’m not making that decision right now.”.A New BeginningIf you are currently staring down the barrel of a major life reset, a divorce, a job loss, a betrayal, Robin has one final reframing for you.When we lose everything, we feel like we have failed. But Robin channels Janis Joplin’s philosophy: Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.Is it a loss? Or is it a new beginning?.When Robin stopped trying to save the “house of cards” and finally let it fall, she found something stronger underneath: her own resilience. She realized her creativity, her skills, and her voice were things that couldn’t be foreclosed on.Listen to the full episode to hear exactly how Robin rebuilt her life and the specific scripts she uses to outwit manipulators. Get full access to Chitra Rochlani at thewarriormindset.substack.com/subscribe

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Heal Yourself First: The Problem with Trendy Spirituality

Aug 1200:10:59Tap to summarize

Before you try to heal the world, there’s a crucial first step we’re skipping in our rush for spiritual trends.Everywhere you look these days, it seems people are identifying as “spiritual”. The landscape is filled with a vast menu of appealing modalities: breathwork, meditation, sound healing, Reiki, tarot, and forest bathing, to name a few. These tools can be amazing, but a nagging question arises: Are we truly going deep enough with the concept of spirituality, or are we just taking it at the surface level and running with it?.There’s a pattern emerging that looks a lot like diet culture. When working in fitness and nutrition, I saw how people clung to their favorite diet almost like a religion. Whether it was weight-loss shakes, high-fat diets, or intermittent fasting, many believed their method was the best and only way. Over time, however, our understanding of health has deepened. We’ve moved from just counting calories to focusing on food quality and even gut health, realizing there is no “one size fits all” solution. It is critical that we don’t make the same mistake with our spiritual journey that we made with our health journey.The real danger lies in running with the first modality that appeals to us without understanding its foundational purpose. A person might benefit from breathwork and immediately feel compelled to teach it, believing it will change everyone's life. But it won’t be the right fit for everybody. Some people might find more comfort and peace from ice plungers, astrology, or sound healing. The purpose of spirituality is not to become a healer or make money selling these modalities. In fact, I would caution everyone against this. It worries me to see healers who are not doing the work to heal themselves first. We simply cannot heal the world when we are not healed ourselves.So, what is the point of a spiritual journey? Its primary function is to help you deal with the stress, pressures, and suffering in your own life so you can release it and become free and liberated. The first step should always be to understand ourselves through the lens of our spirit. Ask yourself: Is my spirit and my life in alignment?. Do I feel the joy and peace I’m looking for, or am I experiencing conflict on the inside?. If there is conflict, the work is to heal that first before trying to go out and help others.This is a long journey, and we are all at different stages. Some of us are not yet aware of what needs to heal , while others have not fully accepted the past stories that need work. The path is to go through your own karmic cycles of pain, process the emotions, and use your human abilities to communicate and take action to heal.Only then, from a place of inner peace and alignment, can you naturally go out and help people where they are. This is how we create collective healing—by learning our own lessons first and then teaching them to those around us who need to hear them.I encourage you to look at spirituality in your own way and redefine it for yourself. My current definition is to get to know your soul and to honor its truth at every single moment. When you honor your truth, you won’t be in conflict with yourself or anyone else.So, before you try to heal the world, dig deep. Take time for reflection and introspection to see where you are on your journey. If you find that you are at peace and in full alignment, then by all means, go forward and help others. That is what we are here to doIf these ideas resonate with you and you'd like to continue the conversation on finding inner peace and living a more compassionate life, I invite you to follow my journey on Instagram. Join the community @mindbodyspiritwarrior for more daily reflections and inspiration.Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/mindbodyspiritwarrior/Do you have an inspiring story of resilience, healing, or transformation? We’d love to hear from you! Share your story and apply to be a guest on the podcast using this form.Book a Reading or Discovery CallIf you’re ready to explore your next steps toward alignment and fulfillment, book a personalized reading or discovery call with Chitra Rochlani. Learn more and book here.A Reminder for YouIf you’re struggling right now, remember this: You’ve already survived 100% of your hardest days. Take it one small step at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support.About the CreatorChitra Rochlani is a Wellness Coach, Speaker, and best-selling author of She’s on a mission to help her clients eliminate stress and loneliness, feel more aligned, and live a life of fulfillment and passion.As a medium and intuitive healer, she educates and empowers her clients to tap into their most underutilized superpower—their intuition—to navigate their lives and make WINx3 decisions.She uses her P.F.H. (Peel, Feel, Heal) framework to inspire transformation through:* Seminars* Interactive workshops* 1:1 and group intuitive readings* Monthly membership program (The Warrior Mindset Collective)Follow Chitra on:* LinkedIn* Instagram* Website💬 I'd love to hear from you:What’s one thing that helps you shift out of comparison? Share it with me in the comments or reply to this email. Your insight might be the reminder someone else needs today.If you’ve ever wanted to go deeper into this work with me, now’s the time. Get full access to Chitra Rochlani at thewarriormindset.substack.com/subscribe

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Why Being Kind is Becoming Increasingly Challenging?

Aug 7, 202500:09:17Tap to summarize

It’s a question that feels increasingly relevant. We see reminders everywhere—on social media, on coffee shop signs, in corporate slogans—to "be kind." But why do we need these constant nudges? Have we truly forgotten how to be compassionate towards each other?.The truth is, we haven't forgotten. Human beings are naturally wired to be kind. When we see somebody struggling, our first instinct is to help. The problem isn't a lack of knowledge; it's that something else is getting in the way. That "something" is the overwhelming personal stress born from our modern obsession with chasing an external idea of success.The Vicious Cycle of Stress and "Lack"We have designed complicated, difficult lives for ourselves. We are in a constant chase, always running after something more. The speaker in a recent episode argues that we have gone so far towards materialism that our personal stress has grown too large, making compassion for others difficult to dig out of our system. When we are struggling to achieve success ourselves, it's only natural that we don't have the capacity for others. We are so caught up in our own day-to-day struggles that we become consumed by our own stress.This creates what can be described as a "state of lack". We fixate on what we haven't achieved yet, on what wedon't have. And when we are living in a state of lack, we cannot feel gratitude, joy, peace, or calm. It's a vicious cycle: if we don't feel inner peace, we cannot be kind to other people, because we put out what we think. If we're thinking "lack," we're putting out "lack".The "Destination Happiness" TrapMany of us fall into the trap of "destination happiness"—the belief that "When I get there, I'll be happy". We tell ourselves that when we have a certain amount of money, a specific job, or the perfect relationship, then we will finally feel joy.But it’s a finish line that always moves. A powerful story was shared about a client who, despite having more money in his bank account than he had ever dreamed of 20 years ago, was still unhappy and fixated on needing "financial freedom". He never took the time to stop and applaud himself for how far he had come. He was so focused on the next destination that he couldn't enjoy the place he had already reached.How many times have you done the same? We are taught to constantly chase more, but we rarely savor the things that are already beautiful in our lives. It could be the stranger on the street who gives you a beautiful smile, or a friend who takes you out for coffee on your birthday. How much are we savoring that joy?.Kindness Isn't an Action, It's a ByproductHere is the most profound takeaway: kindness isn’t something we need to be reminded about. It is within each of us, a natural byproduct of being alive.If we were at peace, calm in our own energy, happy, and joy-filled, then kindness would come naturally to us. When clients reach that place of peace and calm, they automatically want to do things for others, like paying for the coffee for the person behind them in line. You don’t think about doing those things when you are suffering or in a state of lack.The filters of wanting more, needing more, and struggling to get more are what stand between us and our compassion. The solution isn’t to try harder to be kind. The solution is to heal the mindset that blocks our natural state of joy.The next time you see a reminder to be kind, ask yourself:Do I need this reminder, or am I already being compassionate?. If you are, give yourself a pat on the back. And if you're not, take a moment to think about all the blessings that already exist in your life and share some gratitude for them.All of our problems start and end in our minds. Let’s do the work topeel, feel, deal, and heal whatever is going on in there. Let's clear the path to being truly joyful, and in doing so, become truly, effortlessly kind to ourselves and everyone around us.If these ideas resonate with you and you'd like to continue the conversation on finding inner peace and living a more compassionate life, I invite you to follow my journey on Instagram. Join the community @mindbodyspiritwarrior for more daily reflections and inspiration.Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/mindbodyspiritwarrior/Do you have an inspiring story of resilience, healing, or transformation? We’d love to hear from you! Share your story and apply to be a guest on the podcast using this form.Book a Reading or Discovery CallIf you’re ready to explore your next steps toward alignment and fulfillment, book a personalized reading or discovery call with Chitra Rochlani. Learn more and book here.A Reminder for YouIf you’re struggling right now, remember this: You’ve already survived 100% of your hardest days. Take it one small step at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support.About the CreatorChitra Rochlani is a Wellness Coach, Speaker, and best-selling author of She’s on a mission to help her clients eliminate stress and loneliness, feel more aligned, and live a life of fulfillment and passion.As a medium and intuitive healer, she educates and empowers her clients to tap into their most underutilized superpower—their intuition—to navigate their lives and make WINx3 decisions.She uses her P.F.H. (Peel, Feel, Heal) framework to inspire transformation through:* Seminars* Interactive workshops* 1:1 and group intuitive readings* Monthly membership program (The Warrior Mindset Collective)Follow Chitra on:* LinkedIn* Instagram* Website💬 I'd love to hear from you:What’s one thing that helps you shift out of comparison? Share it with me in the comments or reply to this email. Your insight might be the reminder someone else needs today.If you’ve ever wanted to go deeper into this work with me, now’s the time. Get full access to Chitra Rochlani at thewarriormindset.substack.com/subscribe

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My Son Didn't Speak for 9 Years. Then He Taught Me The Only Thing That Matters.

Jul 15, 202500:54:25Tap to summarize

A mother's journey from a devastating autism diagnosis to a profound, life-altering lesson in what it truly means to love.Have you ever loved someone so much that you felt an overwhelming urge to fix them? To smooth out their rough edges, to solve their problems, to make their path easier? It often comes from a place of deep care, a belief that to love is to repair. For years, this was the driving force for Heidi Rome after her son, Ethan, was diagnosed with severe autism.But a single sentence, typed out on a keyboard by her non-speaking son, would unravel everything she thought she knew and teach her the most profound lesson of her life.The Weight of a DiagnosisHeidi’s younger son, Ethan, is now 19 and has severe autism. He is a non-speaker with a very dysregulated nervous system. The journey began with missed milestones—no eye contact, and most noticeably, a complete lack of babbling. The turning point came when Ethan was five. After a full evaluation in New York, Heidi was given a soul-crushing verdict: her son had the mental capacity of a five-month-old infant."It was shattering," Heidi recalls. From that moment, she believed her mission was clear. "I loved him," she says, "Therefore, my job was to fix my broken kid".This set her on a years-long path of desperation. She and her family tried every therapy they could find, spent vast sums of money, and encountered charlatans preying on their hope. The constant effort yielded few results, and the fixing wasn't working. Heidi sank into a deep despair, feeling like a failure as a mother and reaching a point where there was "no hope".A Crack of LightEverything changed when Ethan, at age nine, enrolled in a new school. This school operated on a revolutionary premise: behavior isn't something to be extinguished; it is communication. It’s a reflection of an unmet need.The school offered assistive technologies to help non-speaking students communicate. Heidi was skeptical, having been told by a previous speech therapist that Ethan "doesn't speak because he has nothing to say". But one week in, the new teacher called. Ethan had been asked a simple question: "How do you like the new school?".The three words he typed in response defied all logic and every diagnosis. They were: "basking in joy".Heidi was floored. How could a child with the supposed mind of an infant compose such a phrase? The cognitive dissonance was "through the roof". This was the first glimpse into the vast, intelligent, and deeply feeling consciousness that existed within her son.The Message That Changed EverythingThe ultimate revelation came when Ethan was 11, just before he was to move to a residential school that could better manage his safety. Knowing they might lose the ability to communicate this way, Heidi had one more session with him. She decided to ask him a question she’d never asked before: "What are your thoughts about God?".What followed was a conversation that would change the course of her life.Ethan typed, "God is in my heart and he will always protect me". He explained that he remembered a time before he was born, "when I lived in heaven" , a place with "no bodies, just spectacular energy". He typed that he chose his life, saying, "Yes, I picked to be me and have many challenges".Stunned, Heidi asked the final, critical question: "Is there anything we should do to help you?".Ethan’s reply was the answer to years of struggle, the release from a burden she never should have carried. He typed:"You just have to love me and that is your job, the rest is my job to do".From Fixing to LovingIn that moment, everything shifted. "I took my first deep breath in 11 years," Heidi says. The instruction wasn't to cure, to change, or to control. It was simply to love. "Not fix me, not change me, not take my sovereignty and live my life for me," she explains, "Just love me".This story is a powerful testament for all of us. The impulse to fix implies that something or someone is broken. It establishes a power dynamic where one person knows best. But love, in its purest form, operates differently. It doesn't impose its will. Instead, as Heidi learned, love asks two simple questions: "How can I be of service?" and "What is needed in this moment?".This is a lesson that extends far beyond parenting a child with autism. It applies to every relationship in our lives. It’s a call to release our white-knuckled grip on control and to accept and honor the sovereignty of the people we care about.Today, Heidi Rome is an autism mindset coach, and her mission is to build a new type of supportive community for adults like Ethan—one founded on the principle of "presumed competence". It’s a community that will provide a new model for a world that too often sees only what is missing, instead of the spectacular energy within.To learn more about Heidi’s work and her vision, you can visit her website: https://heidirome.com/I’d love to hear from you in the comments: Have you ever felt the pressure to 'fix' a situation or a person you love? What did you learn from that experience?Do you have an inspiring story of resilience, healing, or transformation? We’d love to hear from you! Share your story and apply to be a guest on the podcast using this form.Book a Reading or Discovery CallIf you’re ready to explore your next steps toward alignment and fulfillment, book a personalized reading or discovery call with Chitra Rochlani. Learn more and book here.A Reminder for YouIf you’re struggling right now, remember this: You’ve already survived 100% of your hardest days. Take it one small step at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support.About the CreatorChitra Rochlani is a Wellness Coach, Speaker, and best-selling author of She’s on a mission to help her clients eliminate stress and loneliness, feel more aligned, and live a life of fulfillment and passion.As a medium and intuitive healer, she educates and empowers her clients to tap into their most underutilized superpower—their intuition—to navigate their lives and make WINx3 decisions.She uses her P.F.H. (Peel, Feel, Heal) framework to inspire transformation through:* Seminars* Interactive workshops* 1:1 and group intuitive readings* Monthly membership program (The Warrior Mindset Collective)Follow Chitra on:* LinkedIn* Instagram* WebsiteIf you’ve ever wanted to go deeper into this work with me, now’s the time. Get full access to Chitra Rochlani at thewarriormindset.substack.com/subscribe

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The Move That Almost Broke Me Became the Breakthrough I Never Expected

Jul 8, 202500:25:58Tap to summarize

We all have a version of "the plan." It’s the life we envisioned, the career path we mapped out, the forward momentum we believe we must maintain at all costs. But what happens when the life you’re actually living forces you to slam on the brakes?I was talking with my dear friend Malika Malhotra on the podcast this week, and she told a story so vulnerable and profound that it’s been echoing in my mind ever since.For years, Malika’s life was defined by motion. She and her family moved ten times across the United States. This wasn't a nomadic choice; it was a necessity dictated by her husband's demanding career as a highly specialized pediatric heart surgeon. With each new city came the immense, often invisible labor of rebuilding a life from scratch—finding new doctors, new schools, and new communities, all while her own ambitions in corporate advertising were put on the back burner.She confessed that behind the resilience, there were dark days and a resentment that inevitably builds up. This last move, from Maine to Texas, hit differently. As a woman in her 50s, she found herself in a new city where making friends felt nearly impossible, leaving her with a feeling of deep loneliness.The Light Switch That Wouldn't Turn OnAs an entrepreneur, Malika had successfully run her own brand strategy business, including a core mastermind group for women. It was her thing. It was the part of her identity she had carved out for herself amidst the chaos.But after this last move, something was different."It was like this light switch," she told me. "I couldn't turn it on and I've always been able to turn it on.".It wasn't just stress or fatigue. It was a fundamental inability to keep pushing. The mental and emotional load of the move was so immense that she couldn't hold space for anyone else. She was at a breaking point.The Unexpected Power of Pressing PauseWhat Malika did next is a lesson for every ambitious person who feels like they’re failing when they’re actually just depleted. She didn't force it. She didn't "push through the pain."She surrendered."I gave myself some grace and I said, you know what? Just, just press pause," she recalled. She made the difficult decision to cancel her mastermind group. She understood a crucial truth: "You can't press pause on your family... but you can press pause on this.".In that pause, in the space created by letting go—something new had room to grow. With her time and mental energy freed up, she started exploring the world of AI. This exploration wasn't just a distraction; it was the start of a complete business reinvention. She funneled her expertise into creating "Lumi," a custom AI bot designed to deliver her unique brand strategy framework to clients.In her words, she essentially "cloned herself," creating a scalable, portable, and less demanding way to run her business.The breakthrough she never saw coming was a direct result of the breakdown she was forced to navigate. The ultimate irony?"I think this move, if I didn't have this move, I wouldn't have gotten there.".Malika’s story is such a powerful reminder that our greatest challenges often contain the seeds of our most profound transformations. It asks us to question our own relationship with ambition, control, and the "plans" we grip so tightly.So, I’ll ask you what I’ve been asking myself: Where in your life are you trying to force a light switch on? What might happen if you gave yourself the grace to just... press pause?Leave a comment below. I’d love to hear your thoughts.Do you have an inspiring story of resilience, healing, or transformation? We’d love to hear from you! Share your story and apply to be a guest on the podcast using this form.Book a Reading or Discovery CallIf you’re ready to explore your next steps toward alignment and fulfillment, book a personalized reading or discovery call with Chitra Rochlani. Learn more and book here.A Reminder for YouIf you’re struggling right now, remember this: You’ve already survived 100% of your hardest days. Take it one small step at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support.About the CreatorChitra Rochlani is a Wellness Coach, Speaker, and best-selling author of She’s on a mission to help her clients eliminate stress and loneliness, feel more aligned, and live a life of fulfillment and passion.As a medium and intuitive healer, she educates and empowers her clients to tap into their most underutilized superpower—their intuition—to navigate their lives and make WINx3 decisions.She uses her P.F.H. (Peel, Feel, Heal) framework to inspire transformation through:* Seminars* Interactive workshops* 1:1 and group intuitive readings* Monthly membership program (The Warrior Mindset Collective)Follow Chitra on:* LinkedIn* Instagram* Website💬 I'd love to hear from you:What’s one thing that helps you shift out of comparison? Share it with me in the comments or reply to this email. Your insight might be the reminder someone else needs today.If you’ve ever wanted to go deeper into this work with me, now’s the time. Get full access to Chitra Rochlani at thewarriormindset.substack.com/subscribe

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Are You Listening to Fear or Your Inner Warrior? A 3-Step Guide to Taking Control

Jul 1, 202500:08:31Tap to summarize

Let's talk about fear. I'm not talking about the kind that makes you jump during a horror movie, but the quiet, sneaky kind. This is the fear that keeps you stuck, the one that keeps you playing small. It often sounds perfectly logical, but it's actually our inner critic in disguise, what I call the "evil inner witch". It’s the voice that whispers, "What if I fail?" or "What if people find out I have no idea what I'm doing?".If those thoughts sound familiar, you're not alone. They are part of our biological survival system. When our brain senses a threat, whether it's real or imagined, it triggers a fight, flight, or freeze response. The problem is, our brain can't always tell the difference between a real danger and an imagined one.Think about being afraid of flying. The plane hasn't even taken off, but you might already feel butterflies, start to sweat, or freeze up. That threat isn't real yet, but your body can have a powerful physical reaction to it.This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Our brains haven't evolved much since the days we were running from lions. Today, we aren't afraid of wild animals; our modern fears are rejection, judgment, failure, and uncertainty. We live in a world that has conditioned us to fear failure, to avoid speaking up, and to hide our emotions. This conditioning becomes our internal programming. So, what can we do about it?The Path from Fearful to Fearless: The 3 A'sIn my book, "The Warrior Mindset," I outline a three-step process to go from fearful to fearless. It’s a method of peeling back the layers, feeling the emotion, and beginning to heal.Step 1: AwarenessThe first step is simplyAwareness. We have to understand that what we're feeling is, at its core, fear. Fear is sneaky and often disguises itself as anger, resentment, or frustration. For example, if you feel nervous about speaking on stage—your stomach has butterflies, you're sweating, you might forget your lines—the root of that nervousness is fear. It's the fear of judgment or the fear of failure. Once you become aware that the deep-down feeling is fear, you can begin to observe it without letting it take over.Step 2: AcceptanceThis next step may feel counterintuitive. Instead of fighting the fear, you must practiceAcceptance. Acknowledge that feeling fear is a normal part of the human experience. Then, you can call it out. I want you to say, "Hey, fear, I see you. I acknowledge you. I welcome you. And I ask you to have a seat on the side while I do the thing that I'm here to do".When you do this, you stop pushing against the fear. You've allowed it to come in and take a seat, and you can be at peace with it. Stop making fear the enemy. Just let it sit there while you remain in charge.Step 3: ActionOnce fear is no longer a threatening entity, you can takeAction. When you take action despite the fear, even one small, tiny, courageous step—you will begin to fight the fear and let it go. In that moment of action, you unleash your inner warrior, and the fear starts to fizzle out. Action liberates, and fear paralyzes. Taking that one step is how you wow the audience you were afraid to face or take the flight that leads you to places you never thought you'd go. Feeling fear means you're doing something brave.Your Action Plan for TodayI want you to try this right now.* Name It: Identify one fear that is keeping you stuck right now. This is your moment of awareness.* Question It: Get curious. Where did this fear come from? Whose voice are you hearing in your head? Is it a parent, a teacher, a bully from your past? Who are you afraid to disappoint or be judged by?.* Act On It: What is one small action you can take today while still feeling this fear? Welcome the fear, have it sit next to you, and take one small step forward despite it.Bravery is a choice. It’s about fighting the mindset battle every day until you find your way out. Don't let fear hold you back.Let me know in the comments: What is one fear you are letting go of today?Do you have an inspiring story of resilience, healing, or transformation? We’d love to hear from you! Share your story and apply to be a guest on the podcast using this form.Book a Reading or Discovery CallIf you’re ready to explore your next steps toward alignment and fulfillment, book a personalized reading or discovery call with Chitra Rochlani. Learn more and book here.A Reminder for YouIf you’re struggling right now, remember this: You’ve already survived 100% of your hardest days. Take it one small step at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support.About the CreatorChitra Rochlani is a Wellness Coach, Speaker, and best-selling author of She’s on a mission to help her clients eliminate stress and loneliness, feel more aligned, and live a life of fulfillment and passion.As a medium and intuitive healer, she educates and empowers her clients to tap into their most underutilized superpower—their intuition—to navigate their lives and make WINx3 decisions.She uses her P.F.H. (Peel, Feel, Heal) framework to inspire transformation through:* Seminars* Interactive workshops* 1:1 and group intuitive readings* Monthly membership program (The Warrior Mindset Collective)Follow Chitra on:* LinkedIn* Instagram* Website💬 I'd love to hear from you:What’s one thing that helps you shift out of comparison? Share it with me in the comments or reply to this email. Your insight might be the reminder someone else needs today.If you’ve ever wanted to go deeper into this work with me, now’s the time. Get full access to Chitra Rochlani at thewarriormindset.substack.com/subscribe

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From Self-Criticism to Self-Love: Reclaiming Your Power Through Mindset

Jun 24, 202500:32:04Tap to summarize

We live in a world that is constantly judging us, a world that bombards us with images of perfection, making it all too easy to turn that judgment inward. For many women, this creates a relentless battle with their own minds and bodies. But what if the key to breaking free wasn't a new diet or a quick fix, but a profound conversation with yourself?For Kausar Rasul, a Certified Nutrition Coach, the turning point in her own struggles came not from a new regimen, but from looking inward. "If you don’t change what’s happening in your head, it’s nearly impossible to change your body or your life," she states. Her story is a powerful testament to how healing your mindset is the first and most crucial step.The Cycle of Pressure and Disordered EatingKausar’s battle with disordered eating began in her early teens, fueled by societal pressure and pervasive diet culture. "I felt like my whole identity was how I looked," she recalls, explaining how she internalized the belief that her worth was tied to her appearance. This led to a painful cycle of binging and dieting that followed her for years. After her pregnancy, facing severe injuries and weight gain, she knew she needed a lasting change and began a two-year healing journey.Finding a Therapist in a DiaryIn a moment of reflection after her daughter was born, Kausar returned to an old friend: her journal. At a time when she felt isolated, it became her confidante. "My diary, my journal became my therapist," she shares.Here’s why journaling was so effective:* It Makes Thoughts Tangible: Seeing your thoughts on paper makes them real and separate from yourself. "It's like, oh, this is really happening to me. This is something that I'm saying to myself," Kausar explains.* It Challenges Your Inner Critic: Journaling allowed her to question the harsh things she was telling herself. She would ask, "Would I say this to my best friend?". The answer was always no, highlighting the cruelty of her inner critic.* It Fosters Self-Compassion: A pivotal exercise for Kausar was writing a love letter to her body, thanking it for all it had done, including carrying her daughter. This act of gratitude was a powerful way to reframe her perspective.The Mindset-First Approach to HealthToday, as co-founder of the BFF Method, Kausar and her business partner Doucky help thousands of women over 40 lose weight sustainably without giving up cultural foods or joy. She has seen how mindset challenges, stemming from media messages, societal expectations, and unresolved experiences, are the biggest hurdles."A lot of the mindset challenges I see in women come from a mix of influences messages we've absorbed through media, unresolved childhood experiences, and societal expectations," she notes.In her coaching program, the practical information is provided through a portal and app. This frees up coaching calls to focus on the "deeper mindset work," using techniques rooted in cognitive behavioral therapy, affirmations, and self-awareness practices.A significant tool of self-sabotage is the scale. That morning number can trigger a cascade of negative thoughts. Kausar offers a powerful reframe: "What if we take pictures and measurements for fat loss and we use the scale just to show gratitude for your existence?".Your Path to Going InwardKausar believes that despite societal progress, women carry an immense burden, and the restorative practices of mindfulness and self-connection have been lost. "As progressive as we are, we’ve also gone backwards centuries," she says. "The rituals and practices of mindfulness, being in nature, and connecting with oneself are almost non-existent."Her advice is to stop, breathe, and go inward. We have over 60,000 thoughts a day, and these thoughts dictate our actions, words, and even what we eat. "If you're not taking a moment to prime your thoughts, then you are living in a rut."Here are some practices to help you prime your thoughts for a healthier, happier life:* Make time to pray.* Walk in nature without headphones and just listen to yourself.* Practice genuine gratitude.* Use affirmations to guide your thoughts. A favorite of Kausar's is: "I am exactly where I need to be. There is a purpose behind this life, this day and this moment."Ultimately, the journey to a healthier body begins with a kinder mind. "Change your thoughts about yourself to change your body."Kausar Rasul is a Certified Nutrition Coach and co-creator of the BFF Method, which helps women over 40 achieve sustainable health. She is the co-host of the Get Fit in Your 40s podcast. You can find her on Instagram at @become.fit.forever and online at www.bff.zone. For further listening, she recommends the 7-minute talks with Jay Shetty on the Calm app and the book The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra.Do you have an inspiring story of resilience, healing, or transformation? We’d love to hear from you! Share your story and apply to be a guest on the podcast using this form.Book a Reading or Discovery CallIf you’re ready to explore your next steps toward alignment and fulfillment, book a personalized reading or discovery call with Chitra Rochlani. Learn more and book here.A Reminder for YouIf you’re struggling right now, remember this: You’ve already survived 100% of your hardest days. Take it one small step at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support.About the CreatorChitra Rochlani is a Wellness Coach, Speaker, and best-selling author of She’s on a mission to help her clients eliminate stress and loneliness, feel more aligned, and live a life of fulfillment and passion.As a medium and intuitive healer, she educates and empowers her clients to tap into their most underutilized superpower—their intuition—to navigate their lives and make WINx3 decisions.She uses her P.F.H. (Peel, Feel, Heal) framework to inspire transformation through:* Seminars* Interactive workshops* 1:1 and group intuitive readings* Monthly membership program (The Warrior Mindset Collective)Follow Chitra on:* LinkedIn* Instagram* Website💬 I'd love to hear from you:What’s one thing that helps you shift out of comparison? Share it with me in the comments or reply to this email. Your insight might be the reminder someone else needs today.If you’ve ever wanted to go deeper into this work with me, now’s the time. Get full access to Chitra Rochlani at thewarriormindset.substack.com/subscribe

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When Comparison Creeps In

Jun 17, 202500:11:54Tap to summarize

Hey friend,Let’s have a real conversation today.Not about strategy or productivity or hustle.But about something softer. Something sneaky. Something most of us carry silently, but rarely talk about out loud:comparison.You know that moment, it could be a scroll through Instagram or hearing a friend’s good news, when your heart does a little dip and your inner voice whispers, “Why not me?”That’s comparison creeping in.And if you’ve felt that lately, I want you to know:You’re not alone, and you’re not broken.You’re human.But here’s the hard truth I’ve learned:If we let it go unchecked, comparison can sabotage our confidence, steal our joy, and paralyze us from taking the very actions that would move us forward.The Trap of ComparisonitisWhen I first started my business, I used to look at other women online—those with polished brands, perfect lighting, seemingly endless success—and feel this ache in my chest.They must have some secret, I thought.They must know something I don’t.Why am I so behind?That inner dialogue? It wasn’t inspiring me, it was draining me.I didn’t realize it then, but I was caught in what I now call “comparisonitis.”And it’s more contagious than we think.You see someone’s highlight reel, maybe they’re on a retreat, launching a course, getting published, or just radiating happiness—and instead of celebrating them, something in you shuts down.That something is your inner critic, stirred up by a distorted narrative:"They’re winning, so I must be losing."But life isn’t a zero-sum game.And someone else’s success doesn’t mean you’re failing.What Comparison Actually DoesLet’s name it for what it is:* It chips away at your self-esteem.Especially in the areas where you already feel uncertain or unqualified.* It distorts your perception.You’re not comparing your real life to theirs. You’re comparing your behind-the-scenes to their edited highlight reel.* It delays your progress.When your eyes are on someone else’s lane, you drift out of your own and crash into doubt, procrastination, or burnout.* It creates resentment and isolation.You start feeling disconnected from others’ joy, which makes you pull away… just when you need support the most.I know this because I’ve lived it.What Helped Me Break the CycleComparison still shows up for me, it just doesn’t run the show anymore.And that shift happened when I started doing three things consistently:1. AwarenessI started noticing my triggers.“Oh, I’m feeling that again, jealousy, tightness, self-doubt. Where’s it coming from?”Awareness is powerful because it interrupts the autopilot.It invites you to observe without judgment. And from there, you can choose again.2. AcceptanceThis was big for me. I had to accept that I was human.That comparison wasn’t a character flaw, it was a protective response rooted in old stories of not-enoughness.And once I accepted that it was a pattern, not a permanent truth, I could start shifting it.3. ActionThis is where the magic lives.Every time I felt the pull of comparison, I asked myself:👉 What is this feeling asking me to do?Maybe it was to learn something new.Maybe it was to take that course.Maybe it was to rest, reset, and realign with my own vision.But every single time, action was the antidote.Turning Envy Into EnergyWhat if we stopped seeing comparison as a threat and started using it as a mirror?That twinge of jealousy? It might just be showing you what you deeply desire.And if someone else has it, it means it’s possible for you too.That’s not a reason to shrink.It’s a reason to get moving.A Word About Social MediaLet’s also talk about boundaries.I had to unfollow accounts that stirred up more anxiety than inspiration.I had to cut back on scrolling when it started feeling like a measuring stick for my worth.I reminded myself that I don’t post my struggles every day—so why would I assume anyone else does?Everyone has a backstory. And most of us are doing the best we can behind the scenes.You Deserve to ShineThe moment I turned inward, focused on my own lane, and started building my version of success, everything began to shift.Instead of saying “Why not me?”I asked, “What’s next for me?”Instead of chasing someone else’s life,I chose to tend to my own life, my own light.And slowly but surely, the right people, opportunities, and abundance started flowing in.So if you’re caught in comparison right now…Here’s what I want you to know:✨ You are not behind.✨ You are not late.✨ You are on a divine timeline uniquely designed for you.When someone else shines, it doesn’t dim your light.In fact, it’s proof that shining is possible.Let it remind you of what’s available—not what’s missing.Let it be a nudge, not a judgment.You’re doing better than you think.And the more you focus on your lane, your vision, and your joy—the more your life will begin to bloom in ways that are real, sustainable, and meaningful.Do you have an inspiring story of resilience, healing, or transformation? We’d love to hear from you! Share your story and apply to be a guest on the podcast using this form.Book a Reading or Discovery CallIf you’re ready to explore your next steps toward alignment and fulfillment, book a personalized reading or discovery call with Chitra Rochlani. Learn more and book here.A Reminder for YouIf you’re struggling right now, remember this: You’ve already survived 100% of your hardest days. Take it one small step at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support.About the CreatorChitra Rochlani is a Wellness Coach, Speaker, and best-selling author of She’s on a mission to help her clients eliminate stress and loneliness, feel more aligned, and live a life of fulfillment and passion.As a medium and intuitive healer, she educates and empowers her clients to tap into their most underutilized superpower—their intuition—to navigate their lives and make WINx3 decisions.She uses her P.F.H. (Peel, Feel, Heal) framework to inspire transformation through:* Seminars* Interactive workshops* 1:1 and group intuitive readings* Monthly membership program (The Warrior Mindset Collective)Follow Chitra on:* LinkedIn* Instagram* Website💬 I'd love to hear from you:What’s one thing that helps you shift out of comparison? Share it with me in the comments or reply to this email. Your insight might be the reminder someone else needs today. If you’ve ever wanted to go deeper into this work with me, now’s the time. Get full access to Chitra Rochlani at thewarriormindset.substack.com/subscribe

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All episodes

3 Key Steps to Optimize your mindset

She Survived Breast Cancer, Then Leukemia. Here’s How She Kept Laughing.

Stop Being “Nice”: The Hidden Cost of Compliance

Heal Yourself First: The Problem with Trendy Spirituality

Why Being Kind is Becoming Increasingly Challenging?

My Son Didn't Speak for 9 Years. Then He Taught Me The Only Thing That Matters.

The Move That Almost Broke Me Became the Breakthrough I Never Expected

Are You Listening to Fear or Your Inner Warrior? A 3-Step Guide to Taking Control

From Self-Criticism to Self-Love: Reclaiming Your Power Through Mindset

When Comparison Creeps In

Attract Don't Chase with Chitra Rochlani

All episodes

3 Key Steps to Optimize your mindset

She Survived Breast Cancer, Then Leukemia. Here’s How She Kept Laughing.

Stop Being “Nice”: The Hidden Cost of Compliance

Heal Yourself First: The Problem with Trendy Spirituality

Why Being Kind is Becoming Increasingly Challenging?

My Son Didn't Speak for 9 Years. Then He Taught Me The Only Thing That Matters.

The Move That Almost Broke Me Became the Breakthrough I Never Expected

Are You Listening to Fear or Your Inner Warrior? A 3-Step Guide to Taking Control

From Self-Criticism to Self-Love: Reclaiming Your Power Through Mindset

When Comparison Creeps In