Therapy and Theology

Episode: S7 E6 | How To Be Brave When You Don’t Feel Brave
Release Date: October 24, 2024
Host: Lysa TerKeurst
Guests: Jim Cress (Licensed Professional Counselor), Dr. Joel Muddamalle (Director of Theological Research at Proverbs 31 Ministries)

Introduction

In the sixth episode of Season 7 of Therapy and Theology, host Lysa TerKeurst delves into the profound theme of resilience, exploring how to cultivate bravery even when one doesn't feel inherently brave. Joined by her friends Jim Cress and Dr. Joel Muddamalle, Lysa intertwines personal anecdotes with deep theological insights to guide listeners through the journey of overcoming fear and emotional trauma.

Personal Anecdotes: Ice Makers and Oceans

Lysa begins by sharing a relatable story from her personal life that sets the stage for the episode's exploration of resilience.

Fixing the Ice Maker (00:00 - 06:03)
Lysa recounts a moment when a malfunctioning ice maker during a beach trip triggered an outburst linked to past betrayals. She states:

“If he would have never betrayed me, we would still be married... the relationship is as great as I always dreamed and hoped it would be. And it doesn't fix anything inside of me because the parts of me that still need to be worked on, the parts of me that still need to be healed, that's an inside job.”
(05:50)

This incident exemplifies how unresolved internal struggles can surface unexpectedly, impacting present experiences despite positive external changes.

Jumping into the Ocean (06:05 - 09:34)
Later, Lysa describes overcoming her fear of the ocean, a metaphor for stepping into the unknown and facing fears head-on:

“I grabbed that boogie board, and I went and I jumped into the waves... it was a moment of resilience.”
(09:15)

This act symbolizes the conscious choice to engage with fear rather than avoid it, a critical step in building resilience.

Jim and Joel interject with supportive comments, emphasizing the significance of these moments in personal growth.

Understanding Resilience: Theological and Psychological Insights

Dr. Joel Muddamalle provides a theological framework for understanding resilience, drawing from biblical scripture to highlight its foundational aspects.

Romans 5 Analysis (15:09 - 19:44)
Joel discusses Romans 5, illustrating how afflictions lead to endurance, which in turn fosters character and hope:

“Affliction produces endurance. Endurance produces proven character. Proven character produces hope. And this hope will not disappoint us because God's love has been poured out onto our hearts through the Holy Spirit.”
(16:30)

He explains that resilience is not solely a human trait but is deeply rooted in divine assistance, emphasizing the role of the Holy Spirit in nurturing resilience within individuals.

Elasticity and Resilience (17:15 - 19:56)
Joel introduces the concept of elasticity, likening it to the ability to stretch and adapt through challenges:

“Every ounce of our suffering... creates resilience. It consistently sets a new benchmark.”
(18:10)

This perspective underscores resilience as an evolving process, where each challenge builds upon the previous, enhancing one's capacity to handle future adversities.

Practical Applications: Living Resiliently

Lysa shares how she applies resilience in her life, particularly through mission work in Nicaragua. She narrates her experience helping Maria, a single mother escaping an abusive relationship, by building her a home and garden:

“Helping her gave me so much joy. It's almost like helping her completed another little part of my own healing.”
(22:10)

This act of service not only aids Maria but also reinforces Lysa's own resilience, demonstrating how assisting others can be a pathway to personal healing and growth.

Therapeutic Insights: Counseling and Resilience Building

Jim Cress offers a counselor’s perspective on fostering resilience in clients, emphasizing the importance of meeting individuals where they are in their journey.

Walking Through the Valley (23:47 - 27:57)
Jim explains his approach to counseling, likening the process to walking through a valley toward resilience:

“Resiliency is never going to come from when you are on the top of the world. Resiliency to me comes from the valley and then beginning to walk your way out.”
(24:20)

He highlights the importance of recognizing past moments of resilience and helping clients build upon those experiences to cultivate a stronger, more hopeful future.

Metaphors and Motivation (26:00 - 28:14)
Jim uses metaphoric language, such as the Rocky theme, to inspire clients to rise above their challenges:

“It is time. We've walked through the valley... beginning to rise strong.”
(26:30)

This motivational approach helps clients visualize their journey toward resilience as an active and achievable endeavor.

Conclusion: Embracing Resilience

Lysa concludes the episode with a powerful message from her book I Want to Trust You, But I Don’t, encapsulating the essence of resilience:

“Please try this... you will build your resilience muscles. You choose ice makers and oceans and living. And I hope you will too.”
(29:30)

She encourages listeners to confront their fears, embrace opportunities for growth, and recognize that resilience leads to living a fuller, more empowered life.

Jim echoes this sentiment, reinforcing the transformative power of resilience:

“They begin to fix ice makers and get in the surf and that's a metaphor for you.”
(27:57)

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Lysa TerKeurst:
  “If he would have never betrayed me, we would still be married... it doesn't fix anything inside of me because the parts of me that still need to be worked on.”
  (05:50)

  “I grabbed that boogie board, and I went and I jumped into the waves... it was a moment of resilience.”
  (09:15)

• Dr. Joel Muddamalle:
  “Affliction produces endurance. Endurance produces proven character. Proven character produces hope. And this hope will not disappoint us because God's love has been poured out onto our hearts through the Holy Spirit.”
  (16:30)

  “Every ounce of our suffering... creates resilience. It consistently sets a new benchmark.”
  (18:10)

• Jim Cress:
  “Resiliency is never going to come from when you are on the top of the world. Resiliency to me comes from the valley and then beginning to walk your way out.”
  (24:20)

  “They begin to fix ice makers and get in the surf and that's a metaphor for you.”
  (27:57)

• Lysa TerKeurst:
  “Please try this... you will build your resilience muscles. You choose ice makers and oceans and living. And I hope you will too.”
  (29:30)

Final Thoughts

Therapy and Theology Season 7, Episode 6 offers a profound exploration of resilience through the intertwined lenses of personal experience, psychology, and theology. Lysa TerKeurst, along with her guests Jim Cress and Dr. Joel Muddamalle, provides listeners with actionable insights and inspirational narratives that encourage embracing life's challenges as opportunities for growth and strengthening one’s spirit. This episode serves as a testament to the power of choosing to live fully, despite fears and past hurts, ultimately guiding listeners toward a path of enduring resilience and hope.