Transcript
Lyle (0:00)
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Jenny Garth (1:30)
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Lyle (1:59)
Welcome to Geck Mail. We are doing the second Geck Mail in one week. The reason that I am doing this is because I have like a bunch of backed up emails. Like I'm looking at emails from October 17th that I have yet to read and I'm enjoying it. I'm taking a little bit of a break from chatting with people on the phone. I'm taking a little bit of control over this podcast situation. So I'm just gonna spend the next hour hanging out with myself and hopefully I have fun doing that. It's fun to do a little solo podcast adventure. I hope that you're having fun hanging out with me. Hanging out with me. Let's. I guess let's just start reading emails. I don't know if I have any more things to rant about. I mean, I could talk about my life. Oh, well, I mean, okay, I'll bring this up. I am still doing an art exhibition in Bushwick, Brooklyn. I know you're probably tired of me talking about it, but I'm doing an art exhibition. It's called Lyle Forever Presents Trash from Around My Room. I am taking eight pieces of trash from around my room and I am displaying them as art. Why am I doing this? I don't know. I just need. I'm at a point in my life where I just gotta try doing shit. So this is some of the shit that I'm trying to do. And so if. If you live in New York City and you want to check that out, look at the link in the episode description and follow that LELO link and put your phone number in there so I can text you more details about that event. I am in Japan. I leave tomorrow to go back to the United States. People who've been listening to this podcast, for better or for worse, are probably aware of the fact that I'm going a little bit crazy. But I think that once I have a good faith that once I return to the United States and fucking, you know, get back integrated with normal ass life, that things will be good. I'm actually feeling pretty okay this morning. Sunlight is good. I did. I did 25 push ups in a row for the first time in my entire life. I don't know why I'm bragging about that, but I just need. These are just things going on with me that I'm excited about, so I'm sharing them. This is. I. This is. You know what's funny is I used to listen to a podcast called WTF with Marc Maron. And he opened. He like does interviews with comedians, but he always opens it by doing what I'm doing right now, just going on long rants about his own life. And every time I listened to that podcast, like he opened, he would go on like a 15 minute rant solo about his own life and then get into the episode. And I was always like, why does this guy do this? Why? I always would skip over the rant part to just get to the interview part. And this was a show I listened to like 10 years ago when I was in high school. And so now I. It's kind of funny that I am now doing a podcast where I am ranting about My life when I used to chastise this other guy who did a podcast ranting about his life. Um, and to be fair to myself, at the time, I just didn't know how fun it is to talk to yourself like a crazy person. Okay, let's get into some emails. Alright. This is from my subject line, I pooped my pants. Okay, there we go. Some light hearted fun. Hey, Gekko. For a long time I had made fun of a friend because she sharded quite a bit. I was on such a high horse about how I never sharded, ever. Until one day I was watching telly and I felt a fart brewing. I admit it was stupid giving that stubborn fart an extra push. I eventually came out, but I quickly realized, you know what? I don't have to read this. I'm not gonna read the rest of this email. But that's. You know, let's. Alright, let's try to find a real one. Alright. This is from Roy. Subject I don't know how to be gay. Hey, Lyle. You can call me Roy. I'm 20 years old and I've been with my boyfriend for three years. We're talking about getting married, but I don't know how a gay wedding ceremony might work. I know you can just do whatever you want, but I really have no idea what we can do that won't make one of us look like the bride or the groom of the relationship. I also don't know how to come out to my dad. My boyfriend and I have lived together since we started dating and. And I'm not worried my dad will react terribly. I just know it'll be awkward to tell him, especially since we've been together for years and are thinking about marriage when I haven't even introduced my boyfriend and dad to each other. I'd love advice on both or either of those topics. P.S. i live in Alaska, born and raised. Ooh. I think it'd be super cool if you came here on tour. Next time you think about that. Yo, kick ass. No, I love. Maybe I do. I want to make it over to Alaska at some point. I want to know what the hell is going on over there. I don't know. Well, okay, Roy, you sent me this email over three months ago, so I don't know if you are still alive or listening to this podcast, but I mean, look, dude, what jumps out at me is that you're fucking 20 years old. You know, like, get a. Get a. That's the main thing. The gay thing and the dad thing is you Know, I'm sure that they're all important aspects of this in your brain, but I hopeful, hopefully those aspects have not become so at the forefront of your brain that you're forgetting the fact that you are 20 years old. And you know, here's the thing, man, I don't know, some people get married young and it works out for them and they get a dog and they live happily ever after and you know, those people might be happier. A lot of the don't trust my opinion on anything because people probably did that and are happier than I am. But I also bet a lot of people did that and regret it. So here's the thing, Roy. I kind of think that when you're 20 years old, you know, in my humble opinion, Roy, in my humble opinion, and we'll get to the, you know, thing with your dad, but my humble opinion is like, you got so much fucking room to develop yourself as a human being. Do you really want to. I'm, you know, your boyfriend might be a cool guy, but like you've been together since you were 17. Do you really want to just be like, alright, I'm done, I finished developing as a human being. Let me, you know, cash in my chips right now, you know, and I'm, I look, I'm not saying like oh, you're 20, you can get ripped and get a hotter boyfriend or whatever, but I am saying that like 20, 20. 20 just feels fucking young to get married, man. 20. Just. Why, why are you. I, I am curious about this. Why are you in a rush to get married? I mean, look, if you and your boyfriend are hanging out and you're having fun and everything is supportive and he makes you happy and all this stuff, then you know, why, I guess why are you in a rush to get married? Like, what is it about the marriage thing? Is it just like a label? Is it like their government benefits or whatever? But I just feel like 20 is a little, little young for that. And let me reread this. As far as. I don't know what. I know you can just do whatever you want, but I don't know what we can do that won't make one of us look like the bride or the groom of the relationship. I mean, as far as that goes, like I don't want you to design. You can design your own wedding, Roy. You can both wear suits and you can have a dog officiate the wedding. You can design whatever you want. You can make your own ceremonies and holidays and whatever it is. So why don't you Just be. You can just be two grooms, or you. Or you can do a. Or you can both wear gray jumpsuits instead of suits or a dress and just have the most non binary, non gender conforming wedding you can think of. I don't know. It's. That's the thing is. I mean, you already know what I was gonna say. That's why you included in the emails. Like, you can just do fucking whatever you want. You said. I mean. Yeah. Why don't you just introduce your boyfriend? Well, I know it'll be awkward to tell him because we've been together for years and are thinking about marriage. I don't know, man. Ask your dad about it. Like, you know why? I mean, you said. What is it? What is it? I'm not worried my dad will react terribly. So if you're not worried that your dad will react terribly, why are you afraid of introducing your boyfriend if you don't think he'll react terribly? I mean, you know, look, if you say that you don't think your dad will react terribly, then give it a shot. I suppose. What's going on in Alaska? I don't know if. I don't know if my advice right now is helpful or makes any sense even. But I guess that's. That's all I have to say about these things. Okay. This from Ivan. No subject Gekko. When are you coming to la, and where do you buy the gecko suit? When am I coming to LA? I was in LA. Oh, crap. This person sent me this. And on October 18th, it is now March 3rd, and I was last in LA, like, November 5th or something like that. So, yeah, you missed me. But where do you buy the gecko suit? You buy it on the same place. You buy everything. God damn it. You buy it on Amazon. Just go to Amazon. Search Gecko suit. I need to get an affiliate code for that, but I don't have one right now, so just. Yeah, I don't know. How much is it right now? I'm gonna check. It always fluctuates in price. Okay. Do not show me items in Japan. Okay, hold on. Okay. Okay, I'm on Amazon. Gecko costume. All right, let's see what the cheapest one we can find is. Rasta. Okay. Yeah. The brand is called Rasta Impasta. Where are we at with this? No featured offers available. Oh, my God. Don't tell me. Dude. No, hold on. Don't tell me they st. Don't. Hold on. Do not tell me that I am live while recording this. Right fucking now discovering that they don't make this costume anymore. Oh, my God. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Holy shit. No more feature offers available. Dude. No, this can't. This. This cannot be happening right now. I always knew that this. Hold on. Okay. This is insane that I am live realizing this right now. As I'm recording this podcast. I am searching to find this gecko suit, and I don't. I don't. I found the listing, but there's no options to buy, folks. Holy shit. I think they have stopped making the gecko suit. I have been doing this show for folks. I have been dressing up as a fucking gecko on the Internet for almost five this summer. June 2025, it'll be five years of dressing up as a gecko, and I. And day one, I. Oh, I always knew. This is crazy. I'm discovering this right in this moment. I always knew one day that this would happen. Wow. This is, like, symbolic of. So this is. I'm. I'm a little shocked. I'm a little. I. I'm a. I'm in a little bit of shock right now. I am in genuinely a little bit of shock right now. Let's see. Because I'm looking at the page, and there is no options to buy. Let's see. When's the last customer review? Wow. Yep. Yeah, they don't. They're not selling it on. Okay, let's see if they sell it on the regular website. Okay. Rasta Impasta Gecko. Holy shit. I can't buy this on Amazon anymore. Maybe it's because. Maybe it's because I'm in. Maybe it's because I'm in Japan right now. Folks, help me out here. Do they. Do they still have buying options for this? Okay, hold on. Let me check the actual Rasta Impasta website and see if they still have it. I genuinely do not know. This is one of those things where, like, you build a whole career and life off of something, and then people are like, what are you gonna do when they stop selling the costume? And you're just like, dad, I don't know. And then you're like, I'll forget that. Okay, okay, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Okay. All right. I'm not fully fucked. All right. I am not fully fucked. I can buy a costume from the actual Rasta impasta.com website for $89.99 just directly from the site, it seems. Let's see. Add to cart. Okay. View cart. I was almost for a second Is it. Is it a bad sign that I was like. I was like looking? I was for. I lived. Okay, okay. If I really. Okay. What I'm realizing by looking at the Internet right now is that if I really need a Rasta imposter gecko costume, which often via the life I've created, I do, I can buy one from New Jersey. So that's good. But for a second I was like, maybe this is the. The sign. This is a sign that I need to start dressing up like a fucking walrus or something like that. Or just being a, you know, human being, whatever it is. Okay, so my new answer to the. Back to this email. Where's my email? I lost my email. Oh, okay. What am I coming to? I'm coming to LA three months ago and you buy that gecko suit? Not on Amazon, but on the Rasta and pasta website. Okay. All right. This is from suit guys. From this. They sent me this October 17th subject line. Somebody wiped their ass with my exam papers. Ignore my email. I made this when I was nine. What's the email? Mail.com. okay, sorry, I shouldn't have doxed your email, but alright, we can actually bleep out your email. But that's a cool email. Hey, Lyle. One time when I was 15 and finishing my sophomore year, the school wanted to see if I had dyslexia so I could have extra time. So they made my mom bring in a couple of my exams from the years before so they could evaluate it. Anyways, when that was all done and my mom was waiting to be picked up, she left the folder with my very important end of year sophomore exams inside the bench just outside the school council office. When she got home and realized both of us went back to go get it. When we went back to the bench, the folder had been opened and I kid you not, there was human shit smeared all over every single page of my exams. Like actual human shit. It couldn't have been a stray cat or anything because we had a cat at home and knew what that smelled like. And this was distinctly human poop. We think it might have been some kid who wanted to bully me or maybe some young kid who just couldn't hold it. But we never found out who it was. Since they didn't have cameras facing that bench, the principal was basically useless and just said sorry to us. What was it? What was. What's the principal supposed to do? Also, if grammatical errors in this email were not proven proven enough, yes, I do have dyslexia. Okay, well, that's. You know. Wow. Yeah, I don't know. I guess. What was the principal supposed to do about it? Did you get an A on the ex? Did you? Did what? This is what I'm curious about is did they like accept your exams? Like, did they take them in or were they like, cuz. Yeah, cuz if I'm like a teacher or a principal or something and some kid gets diarrhea on their exams through no fault of their own, I'm just like, give that. Give that fucking kid an A. Give him a B minus at least. Don't like, you know, don't leave him hanging. Okay, let's see here. All right, this is from Jesus subject line, the email. And then it just says smoke we. It says smoke weak every day. It says smoke weak every day. So I think they meant to say weed, but they also could have meant to say they are every day they are having a smoke week. Or that perhaps they are smoking so much every day that every day feels like a smoke week. The mystery will never be solved. Okay, this is from Jar subject line. Maybe today, Satan. Hi, Geck. Yours is the only live act my boyfriend and I like mutually and I can't wait to take him to see you next time you're in the Seattle area. Neither of us are from here, but it's alright living here. We both struggle with depression, autism and adhd and it's super quirky all the time. Every door is left open. I'm going to be on a Joe Pera comedy special soon and have been inspired to become a comedian myself. Life hits different when you have 1800 people all collectively enjoying the moment. Is it better to go to open mic nights or join an improv group first? There's not much here and the improv groups seem lame. How do you not turn stand up into a therapy session? Is it cathartic to do this podcast? Uh, let's see here. Well, I mean, a couple. I. Yeah, I can answer some stuff in this. In this email. Is it better to go to open mics or join an improv group? I mean, do both. See which one you have more fun doing. Here's the thing. Here's what I'm gonna say to you. Is that the best thing about comedy? If you're gonna do it and if you're gonna do it, some people, they go into it and they're like, I'm gonna be a big famous star. And you know, some people get successful with that. And some people, you know, maybe you're not a big famous star, but maybe you make A living doing it somehow. But don't even think about those things. And not nothing in this email is telling me that you're even thinking about those things. Maybe I'm projecting that upon you. But the best thing about the comedy scene is that it's a It's a community, you know, it's a community. So youo know, and having that kind of community can have a really positive impact on your life. So if I were you, I would do both. I mean, join the improv group, go to the open mic nights and try to talk to people. And the more often you're showing up at the open mic nights, the more often people will know you and just try to try to fucking be, you know, be nice and be cool. That's the thing, right, is like, as long as you're, you know, being generally easy to be around, you will skyrocket to the top of any local comedy scene possibly. Maybe you don't even have to be like, I mean, it helps if you're good on stage, but as long as you're just like, chill, you know, it's good. It's a good way to make it's an excellent way to make friends, an excellent way to see the, you know, it's an excellent way to make friends. It's an excellent way to see the city that you live in because you it brings you to bars and venues that are in different parts of the city that maybe you wouldn't have traveled to otherwise. So, I mean, go. Go on your journey. Go on your journey. How do you not turn stand up into a therapy session? Why are you so concerned with not doing that? You know, I mean, speak your fucking truth. Speak your truth, man. Whatever the fuck you have to say, just say it. Maybe it's not funny immediately. Maybe you get something out of it. Maybe you get whatever you were you were looking for out of it, you know, and it doesn't necessarily have to be. I mean, stand up. It could just be whatever you want. That's the fun part, is that it's just you with a microphone talking. You said, is it cathartic to do this podcast? It is Sometimes it is. Sometimes. I'm learning about mice. I'm learning a lot about myself. I've learned I'll fucking I've learned so much about life and about myself over the past five years that I've been doing this, and I But I also still have a lot of questions because sometimes, you know, talking about sometimes doing this podcast is cathartic, but other times, I It's less so I'm. I've actually been thinking about this. I might start. You know what I might start doing, folks? You know what I might start doing, listeners of the Therapy Gecko podcast? You know what I might start doing, folks? I. Here's the thing, you know, the phone call episodes and doing this, I have fun and they're actually, you know, a lot of times where I'm having a good time, but I just, I'm in a point in my life where I need to be out in the planet earth. And so, you know, I used to do a lot of like being a gecko in real life stuff where I would just sit as a gecko in a park and chat with people. And I think I'm gonna try to do a lot more of that. So I might, I might even, I don't, I don't want to promise whatever the fuck, cuz I, you know, I might, I have fucking crazy ADHD brain. But I'm thinking I'm gonna try to start doing more audio versions of that as the podcast, right? So like I'll post up in Washington Square park with, with two microphones and just chat with whoever's hanging out, you know, and it can be an audio journey that takes the people listening out of their computer and into real life. And maybe that'll be cathartic, but it feels, it does feel cathartic to do, to do the podcast and to get to like share and explain things from my life and whatnot. Okay, let's see here. Alright, this is from Janet. Subject line. I married my horse. Howdy. For my 60th birthday, 2022, I married my horse. It was a blast. I was live streaming, but got kicked off the stream when we played White Wedding. It was a good day. I attached a picture of me with Valor and my mom in 2020. I started. Okay, let me look at this picture first. Oh, holy shit. This lady married her horse. Wow, that's pretty cool. He's wearing a hat. That's very interesting. In 2020, I started taking care of my mom full time. She has dementia, she's currently on hospice, so she has a 6 months to 1 year prognosis. When my mom passes, I plan to buy an RV and hit the road. I plan to start a podcast talking to people about the paranormal, religion and UFOs. I plan to travel around, set up in a public space and start talking to people. Wow, that's hilarious. It's exactly what I was just talking about wanting to do more of. Can you offer any advice? My Biggest concern is the amount of time that will need to be dedicated to editing and posting the podcast. I hope to hear your comments. Thanks for being there. You have inspired me. Thank you, Janet. Wow. Fascinating, fascinating, fascinating, fascinating, fascinating. First of all, I think this is super fucking cool to be starting doing this at 60 years old. There's gonna be a lot of people who I bet want to talk to you, so I think it's a great idea. Can I offer you any. I can't offer you any advice. I just do it. I. You. Honestly, I can just tell by this email you have a strong conviction what you want to do, and so I don't have any advice for you. I mean, just do it, right? The amount of time that will mean, you know, dedicated to editing and posting the podcast. Well, what else are you doing? What's going on? You know, your horse is at home taking care of the, you know, doing dishes. And I don't know if you guys have a traditional kind of relationship where the horse goes out and makes all the money, but you know what? What I don't know what you're doing with the rest of your time. You know, let's see. Posting the podcast is very easy. You hit one button and it posts the podcast. Maybe you can get somebody to help you edit. That could be kind of cool. Maybe you could get somebody to help you edit. You know, I don't know who you got around you. I don't know who's who, who else is in your life, but maybe you could get somebody else to help you edit. But also like, you know, editing. Editing. That's the thing is like editing your podcast, if you just kind of like in point out point, it's not gonna be that crazy time intensive, I don't think. But yeah, I have no advice for you. I just think you should go and do this because it's. It's super cool and I'm. I'm excited to see what. What kind of podcast you cook up. Janet. So if you happen to hear this and you happen to, you know, once you get it started, send me another email. I want to see what's going on. I want to see what you. What you ended up doing. All right. This is from Tyler. Subject line, seasonal depression. He, Tyler says, I always seem to think we are similar every time I hear you mention your mental health issues. This from December 4th. Oh, crap. How often have I been messaging mentioning my mental health issues? Just wanted to say keep pushing, especially with days getting shorter. Also, I feel I consume too much weed during these times and it makes a worse help. Yeah, there is definitely a correlation between, you know, the seasons and how I feel. Yeah, there's definitely a correlation. Well, thanks. Thanks for the support, Tyler. You, you. You too, man. Keep. Keep living. Keep being alive. Keep being alive. All right. All right. This is from K. Subject line, poop waterfall. All right, I'm not gonna read that. All right. This is from Riley, subject line, entrepreneur to entrepreneur. Riley says howdy. Green gecko, man of the Internet. My name is riley. I am 21 years old and just started my own business as a farrier parentheses horseshoer. I've been home from shoeing school for seven months and have had plenty of work between my own clients and apprenticeships since I've been home. However, this is the first winter of my career and things are slowing down. Horses aren't growing as fast and schedules are getting stretched. The past few months I have made drastic changes in my lifestyle, including diet for chronic pain, breaking bad habits, focusing on my fitness and mental health, doing a lot of yoga, meditation, and so on. My lifestyle has taken a full 180. I've been freaking out a little bit about my workload and income slowing way down due to the winter. I've decided I will take this winter to work really hard on healing my body, improving my rig, putting time into friendships, my personal horse, and getting ready to go to certification. Do you have any advice on getting through the first few years of being self employed, on dealing with the highs and lows, keeping yourself sane through it all? Love you, Geck. Do I have any advice about this? I mean, I, I guess like, look, here's the thing. At the end of the day, well, also, you're fucking 21, so just, you're doing every. Just, just so you know, I don't. You sent me this email months ago, but just. Riley, if you hear this, I mean, you're 21 years old and you're giving it a shot, right? You could just fuck up, right? You could just fuck everything up. Just. You could just destroy your fucking life and it would be fine because you have tons of time to rebuild it. You know, it's like, it's like the stock market, like it could take a dive, right? But like over time it recovers. You know, you're young, you can, you can hold down the fort, right? So you're doing it right, you know, I mean, because if you were telling me you're like 50 and you have kids and they're starving because you have to do your own business and you're like that's, that would be up. Right? But just, just take, have, have, have a lot of faith in the fact that you're doing this at the right time and you're doing it right. That's what I would say. Yeah, that's what I would say. I hope that that gives you some, some form of, you know, clarity or strength to keep going. That like, you know, you got plenty of time to, to up your die again. I think you're doing it right. I think you're doing it right.
