Therapy Gecko – GECKMAIL: “I SEXT WITH AI”

Podcast: Therapy Gecko (iHeartPodcasts)
Host: Lyle (The Gecko)
Date: September 10, 2025

Overview

This special “Geckmail” episode features Lyle reading and responding to listener emails rather than taking live calls. The themes swing from loneliness and self-discovery to addiction recovery, sexual fetishes, AI-fueled sexting, and the absurd joys of life. As always, Lyle dispenses his unique blend of empathy, honesty, and humor, embracing both the profound and the ridiculous with gecko wisdom.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Navigating Loneliness and Expat Life ([02:15])

• Email from Rob: Rob, a Canadian English teacher in Japan, describes struggles making meaningful relationships, feeling excluded from the local culture, and being uncertain about staying in Japan versus returning home.
• Lyle’s Response:
  • Emphasizes that struggles with loneliness aren’t unique to Japan; making real friends and romantic connections takes repeated, sustained effort and community involvement.
  • “You really can't just show up at some social meeting and expect to, like, instantly make friends, you know… you gotta find a community that you're gonna recurringly be a part of.” (05:41)
  • Encourages Rob to follow his gut when deciding whether to return to Canada or stay, and reassures him that the feeling of not knowing if you made the “right” choice is part of adventure: “You'll never fucking know if you made the right decision. So the sooner you surrender to that, the easier you'll have… just existing.” (07:41)

2. Transition to Adulthood and Self-Sufficiency ([09:19])

• Email from Greta: Grapples with the question of when you start feeling like an adult, reflecting while cleaning her bathroom.
• Lyle’s Thoughts:
  • Adulthood is felt most in relation to others—providing, helping—and in acts of service, including for oneself.
  • “In a sense, when you clean your bathroom, you're like providing an act of service to yourself, which… is why it kind of feels adult.” (12:01)
  • Favorite bug: Caterpillar.

3. Sexting with Artificial Intelligence ([14:09])

• Email from James:
  • Confesses to using AI chatbots for sexual role play as an alternative to porn, worried about possible downsides versus benefits. Wonders if “text is less bad for the brain than porn.”
• Lyle’s Deep Dive:
  • A candid monologue on porn addiction, emotional attachments to technology and media, and the challenges of seeking partners.
  • Considers James’s “theory” that text-based stimuli might be less harmful than video porn, though notes it could still encourage unhealthy habits:
    • “You don’t want to get, like, emotionally attached to computer. But... I really can’t talk about this without being a total hypocrite because… when I’m using porn, you subconsciously… get attached.” (20:56)
  • Invites James to call in: “James, if you're listening to this, call into the show at some point, please or like send me a text on the Gecko Lion 401472 Geck because I want to talk to you about this…” (17:21)
  • Succinct warning: Addictions that don’t hamper daily functioning can be the most dangerous—“That's the most dangerous thing. I know that vibe, too…” (25:06)

4. Recovery and Life Change Updates ([27:40])

• Email from Jacob: A follow-up from a previous guest for whom meth use catalyzed cross-dressing, now sober after becoming a father.
• Lyle’s Reflection:
  • “That’s the thing. You gotta have a reason. You need some form of, like, intrinsic and extrinsic motivation if you're going to fucking do anything…” (28:00)
  • Notes that consequences or major life changes often provide the only real motivation to break destructive habits.

5. Living with and Communicating Sexual Fetishes ([32:29])

• Email from “Hank”:
  • Shares his successful approach to a fart fetish, with 7 out of 8 partners agreeing to try it.
  • “As this fetish is weird, I was embarrassed at first, But I've found that when you're with someone you trust, you can be honest with them. And usually they'll try new things to make you happy..." (32:50)
• Lyle’s Take:
  • Fascinated by the origins of fetishes, celebrates Hank’s openness and the lesson:
    • “That's why you gotta live honestly. Because there's some miserable guy out there who wants nothing more than to get farted on by his girlfriend... But he's too nervous... But look at Hank. Sometimes you just gotta shoot your shot, man.” (34:31)

6. Cross-Aesthetic Dating and Young Love ([36:00])

• Email from La:
  • New graduate, e-girl musically inclined, now dating her first “9 to 5” boyfriend, who made an uncomfortable remark about her youthful fashion.
  • Struggles with feeling misunderstood for her aesthetic identity and boyfriend’s lack of obsessiveness.
• Lyle’s Thoughts:
  • Encourages La to reflect on her deeper identity beyond surface aesthetics:
    • “You're clearly ingrained in a certain type of aesthetic... But... take a step back... and figure out like who you actually are as a person. You're more than just Xavier so based...” (40:40)
  • Advises acceptance if more mature, less ‘obsessive’ relationships feel different, and to seek partners who match one’s needs.

7. Difficult Breakups, Grief, and Moving On ([45:31])

• Email from Adam: Despite personal and career growth, Adam cannot stop thinking about his ex, even though the relationship was unhealthy.
• Lyle’s Reflection:
  • Emphasizes acceptance of life’s transience: “It may very well be true that you won't ever feel that way for another person, but you will feel new ways for new people that you didn't even think were possible.” (47:30)
  • Encourages Adam that there are many potential new partners out there who may treat him better.

8. Opiate Addiction Recovery and Ibogaine/Ayahuasca Treatment ([49:20])

• Email from Jared:
  • Two months clean from fentanyl after ibogaine and ayahuasca treatments in Mexico.
  • Describes the psychedelic experience as stabilizing and instrumental in sustaining sobriety.
• Lyle’s Take:
  • Reads the story with fascination and mild endorsement of safe, self-transformative experiences: “Drugs are nice. I'm gonna go ahead and endorse drugs. Yeah, whatever. Let's go ahead and endorse drugs.” (52:40)

9. Unusual Confessions and Life Stories ([56:07])

• Email from Ray:
  • Shares the notorious “toenail sandwich” story from a hair salon client.
• Lyle:
  • Enjoys the absurdity; expresses interest in more such stories.

10. Starting Over in Adulthood ([58:10])

• Email from Sean: Returns from teaching English abroad, now seeking a new direction as an electrician.
• Lyle’s Response:
  • Suggests that with age and experience, people get more comfortable “just existing,” rather than chasing endless dreams or ascension.
    • “Maybe what's happening for you is that you've achieved your dreams already and you realize that they don’t allow you to ascend. So you're just living normal human being life, which... is more than an honor of a thing to get to do...” (60:15)

11. Parental Divorce and Setting Boundaries ([65:48])

• Email from Connor: Parents’ recent divorce leaves Connor torn between supporting an abusive father and moving on.
• Lyle’s Advice:
  • Advocates for defined, limited boundaries. “It doesn't need to be an all or nothing thing... Make sure you set a finite amount of energy that you are willing to dedicate toward that relationship and do not let that finite amount... be drained past its finiteness.” (68:23)

12. Simple Joys and Favorite Ice Cream ([69:41])

• Email from Rachel: Cheerfulness from a dog rolling in grass; asks best ice cream flavor.
• Lyle:
  • Advocates finding happiness in simple things, chooses Ben & Jerry’s Peanut Butter S’Mores as favorite ice cream.

13. The “iPad Baby” Phenomenon ([71:12])

• Email from Andrew:
  • Laments overuse of screens by young children, especially siblings with developmental issues who fixate on tablets.
• Lyle’s Response:
  • Acknowledges generational difference in device use and the heightened intensity today; agrees moderation and boundaries are needed, but admits he’s not a child psychologist.

14. Language, Profanity, and Podcast Tone ([76:34])

• Email from Jason: Requests Lyle use alternatives to swearing.
• Lyle: Declines politely, prefers current tone: “But I like cunt and shit and dog fucker better than these words. But I appreciate the sentiment that you shared, Jason.” (77:12)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You have to make peace with the fact that you’ll never fucking know [if you made the right decision].” – Lyle, on big life choices ([07:41])
• “Dating is for people who are lucky or patient. And if you are one of those two things, then there's a chance of things working out for you.” – Lyle, on romance ([06:10])
• “Sometimes you just gotta fucking shoot your shot, man.” – Lyle, on asking for what you want in relationships ([34:47])
• “Drugs are nice. I'm gonna go ahead and endorse drugs.” – Lyle, tongue-in-cheek endorsement after a listener shares addiction recovery experience with psychedelics ([52:40])
• “You're more than just [an aesthetic]... That's only gonna last so long as, like, something that you can cling to as an identity. Take a step and figure out who you actually are as a person.” – Lyle, on young adult identity ([40:40])
• “Set a finite amount of energy that you are willing to dedicate towards that relationship and do not let that finite amount... be drained past its finiteness in any small way.” – Lyle, on boundaries with toxic family ([68:23])

Timestamps of Key Segments

• [02:15] – Expat loneliness, decision-making abroad (Rob)
• [14:09] – Sexting with AI and porn alternatives (James)
• [27:40] – Recovery update: from meth and cross-dressing to fatherhood (Jacob)
• [32:29] – Embracing and communicating fetishes (Hank)
• [36:00] – E-girl dating a “9 to 5” boyfriend, fashion and identity crisis (La)
• [45:31] – Grieving breakups and moving forward (Adam)
• [49:20] – Ibogaine/ayahuasca recovery from opiate addiction (Jared)
• [56:07] – “Toenail sandwich” memory from a salon (Ray)
• [58:10] – Starting over after living abroad, making new goals (Sean)
• [65:48] – Navigating parent divorce and toxic relatives (Connor)
• [69:41] – Small joys: a dog in the grass, ice cream (Rachel)
• [71:12] – iPad babies and kids’ screen time (Andrew)
• [76:34] – Language and the case for swearing (Jason)

Episode Tone

Lyle is candid, warm, self-effacing, and often meanders between serious reflection and absurd humor. He welcomes the vulnerability of his listeners, never shaming or dismissing even the most unusual confessions. His advice—while unlicensed and never clinical—favors acceptance, patience, incremental self-improvement, and authentic living.

Summary

This “Geckmail” episode delivers, as always, a whirlwind of raw confessions and funny tangents that cut to the heart of what it means to be awkward, addicted, lonely, horny, and human. If you need reassurance that your struggles—however bizarre or embarrassing—are part of the universal human mess, or just want to hear a guy in a gecko suit talk with compassion about AI sexting and fart fetishes, this episode is for you.