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Spectrum Business (0:00)
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Tim Allen (0:30)
ABC Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star.
Kat Dennings (0:33)
In the new family comedy Shifting Gears. Dad, I'm broke and I need a place to stay until I figure out what the rest of my life looks like. So a couple of days when his daughter moves back in. The last time you walked out that door, you looked back at me and gave me a double bird. I was 18. The double bird was how I ended all our conversations. The wheels come off. Can we try to talk to each other like rational adults? If you watch the news lately, that's not a thing anymore. New Wednesdays, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.
Greenlight (1:00)
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Kat Dennings (1:30)
What's up? How's it going? How is life? This is Geck mail. This is a segment of my show that I do where I read viewer mail and talk about it. You know, people send me words, they Send stuff to therapygeckomailmail.com and I respond to it. In the last geck mail, I took phone calls while I was doing emails and I'm not gonna do that today. And the reason is that I don't feel like it. This is. I'm. This. I'm gonna make this podcast in particular. This episode in particular is gonna be a selfish endeavor and I'm going to be the only voice that you will hear for the duration of the episode. Maybe next episode I'll bring calls back. I don't know. It depends on my mood. And today I'm actually in a chill mood. Today I'm in Tokyo. Right now, I'm in Tokyo. I'm just Hanging out here and it's pretty sweet. It's pretty great. I am in a hotel room wearing a gecko costume, speaking into a microphone, looking at a bunch of unread emails. I was on the phone yesterday with my mom for like 45 minutes. It was great. You should call your mom. If you, if you're lucky enough that your mom is around and you guys have a good relationship, you should call your mom. Called my mom and I found out apparently my. My grandfather. I was talking to my mom about like, Japan and my mom randomly was. I didn't know this, but my mom was like, apparently my grandfather, like, spent four months out of the year in Japan for like 20 years and like, spoke fluent Japanese. And my mom was like, oh, your grandfather would be super happy that you're running around in Japan. And I'm like, oh, that's pretty cool. Pretty cool. So, I don't know, I feel. I feel. I feel good and I feel relaxed and I feel happy and I'm ready to just kind of hang out and take some emails. So wherever you are in the world listening to this, I hope you're feeling chill too. And let's have a chill time reading some emails, shall we? Okay. This is from Jamie. Subject line. Hey, Lyle, what color is your pee? Oh, this is a long. Okay, this email is too long for me to read. You know, I'll read. You know, I'm gonna just. I'm gonna just read this until I don't want to anymore. Okay, this is from Jamie. Hi. Sorry for the intrusive question, but I've had the color green on my mind lately and I was wondering why the color of my pee has such a significant impact on my mood. All right, I'm intrigued. All right, line by line, I'm gonna decide whether I want to keep reading this email. And after that line, I'm down to keep reading a bit about me. My favorite color is sage. What the fuck is sage? Because I like that shade of green and I recently quit my job with nothing else lined up. So don't wor. Except I'm in a. Okay. Except I'm in a fortunate position as it stands. So don't worry, I'm okay. On the job front, I have a stepmom who works slash manages in a company responsible for local recruitment. It's mostly factory work, but her clients are always outsourcing. What? Okay, this has nothing to do with p. Okay, yeah, I don't want to keep reading this email. Let's do another one. Alright. This is from Nate Subject line. I jumped off a balcony at a party and broke my ankle. Geck. I did a. Done three weeks ago. I was at a holiday party and was super drunk. There was an indoor balcony overlooking the main level where the majority of the people were. 50 people watched me jump 15ft off the balcony onto a couch. It was gonna be so epic. Unfortunately, my left foot missed the couch and took all the impact at a weird angle, which resulted in my ankle traumatically dislocating. My foot was on a 50. My foot was at a 45 degree angle, and the whole room freaked out. It was honestly really funny. But as the pain set in, I began to realize this was going to seriously affect my life for a while. Was that really? I. You know, I have a lot of. You know, Nate, if you're listening to this, I have a lot of respect for you because I like that your first thought when your fucking foot turned 45 degrees is that it was funny. That's a good way to look at life. You know, you get hit by a car, that's probably funny to someone watching you. You get diagnosed with cancer. That's so. That's just God's sense of humor. You get your arm cut off by a machine and a freak accident. It's funny. It is funny. It is funny. Okay. Anyway. Have you ever broken a bone? I know you're not into thrills. How do you know I'm not into thrills? I like thrills, actually. That's. That's true. I'm not into thrills at all. I hate doing stuff where I could possibly get hurt. Have you ever done anything this dumb? Yeah, that's what he said. Have you ever done anything this dumb? Yeah. Yeah. When I was younger, I would jump off of stuff, and then. Yeah. Like, at the. Like on playgrounds, I would jump off of high platforms. And I remember I did it once and I had a little limp for a while, but I've never broken a bone because I usually. If I'm gonna jump off of something, I make mathematical propositions in my head to tell me whether or not I will get sincerely hurt. But again, I'm glad that you had a good sense of humor about this. And yes, this probably is going to seriously affect your life for a while, but at least. But I just want. Let me just. If I could give you this advice, Nate, whatever it is that was really funny to you about this when it first happened, don't lose that. Okay, so when you're looking at your. When you're, like, in a wheelchair or on Crutches or whatever. Like, just every once in a while, just look down at your foot and just start laughing. Just realize that it's funny, that your ankle is fucked up. And you'll be good. You'll be good. I think this guy's gonna be okay. This is from Michael. Subject line, terrifying mushroom trips with a talking snake. All right, we got Harry Potter calling in. Hey, Lyle. I am Michael. I have been a longtime listener. About a year ago, I took a large dose of penis envy mushrooms and had a terrifying trip in my apartment. At first it started like any other trip, but then I started to feel nauseous and went to lie down in my bed and ended up closing my eyes. At first, the usual shapes like flower of life would appear and pulsate bright, alternating colors. What is the flower of life? I'm googling this. Hold on. Pausing the email here. Flower of life. Flower of life is a geometric symbol made of overlapping circles that represents life, creation and unity. Okay, so, yeah, you close your eyes and you see. Oh, I did. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. I've seen this before when I've, like, closed my eyes and stuff, but I didn't know I had a name. I like that. After a while, the shapes disappeared, and instead I started seeing myself through a dark part, purplish, purplish haze. Then I saw myself die in many horrible ways. Suicide, car crash, murder, choking, and a few dozen other ways. During this trip, I hallucinated the vivid moments and the aftermaths of these deaths. The trip really freaked me out, and I ended up throwing my stash of shrooms away because of this. Several months went by after that trip, and I periodically ruminated about what I had experienced. I wasn't sure what to make of it and decided to take another large dose of the same type of mushroom with the intention of figuring out what the trip meant, if anything. So I took the shrooms, and once again, I started to feel nauseous. Just like before. I went to lie down in my bed and close my eyes. The same shapes appeared, the same colors, but this time, instead of the visuals transitioning into a purple haze, I saw a massive infinity symbol. This infinity symbol was moving and had iridescent scales. I'm so surprised I was able to read the word iridescent, but here we go. And once I noticed the scales, a serpent's head appeared. I wasn't terrified, but intrigued and curious. I spoke aloud to the serpent. What was the meaning behind the visions of myself that I saw before the serpent responded, it said, you have died a million deaths and will die a million more. This made me extremely unsettled and I asked the serpent why. It told me that I was a prisoner, that every life in this universe is back bound to a cycle of death for eternity, where we exist and die only to experience variations of suffering with each life as our punishment. I immediately asked, what did we do? What did I do? But the vision started fading and the trip was winding down. Since then, I haven't touched a mushroom since. I am still confused about how I should interpret the ordeal and was wondering if you could give me some perspective to process the entire experience. Also should I try to trip again and discover more. Thanks for all you do and providing rational perspectives for our listeners. Okay, I'm about to be a. I'm about to be a bummer. Can I be a bummer, Michael? I'm gonna be a bummer here. I'm gonna be. I just. By the way, okay, I want everyone to know because I know that I'm about to say some stuff. They're gonna piss people off in comments sections and. And whatnot. I'm just letting you know, this is what my gut is telling me in response to this email, and I am open to being wrong. But look, man, here's the thing. I'm not super duper sold on, like, hallucinations really being anything more than just hallucinations. I think this. Right? I think that like. Like I believe in the subconscious, and I believe that like, you know, traumas and desires and. And thoughts and. And feelings exist in our subconscious, and things like dreams and hallucinations can kind of bring those to the surface. And so maybe, you know, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe in that case, the hallucinations, you know, do mean something. They mean things that you were already thinking about. And so I'm curious with this. What is it that you were already thinking about by, like, this serpent is just you. You're not. You're not contacting anything outside of your own self. Your serpent is you. This. This. This snake. Okay, and so what did the snake say? Just said that. What is the meaning behind the. Why? Why did. Hold on. Why did it make you unsettled that the snake said, you've died a million deaths and will die a million more? That sounds like a fairly standard cycle. I don't. I don't really know what happens after we die, but I. It would make sense to me that we die and then whatever the fuck it is that, you know, propel whatever our carbon or whatever the fuck goes back into the ground and Our ego dissolves and all of our memories dissolve. But like our, the physical energy that we use to power our bodies and shit, like, goes into the ground and, you know, becomes like a dog or a ladybug or, or a piece of tape or something. And then, you know, eventually the dog dies and the piece of tape gets like stuck to your finger and you have to. And you kind of have to throw it away. And then, you know, everything dies. And then I guess is reborn. So, yeah, I mean, yeah, you are in a cycle in that sense. Yeah, every. Yeah, like you said, every life in the universe, I guess, is bound to a cycle of death. Sure. This is pro. Everything I'm. Everything I'm saying is probably just something you were already thinking about in your. Just, you know, as a human being, as you try to answer your existential questions. Everything I'm saying is something you probably already thought about. And the serpent is just telling you the serpent is just coming to conclusions for you that you've already been kind of inching towards in your head. But remember, there's no serpent. It's just you. You're just talking to yourself. So I was about, I was about to go on a whole bummer thing about how, yeah, you took a drug and you hallucinated and that's what drugs do. But I'm willing to believe that that not, not that. Not. Like I don't think you contacted a serpent. Like I don't think you left your own brain, but you went into your subconscious and this is what your subconscious had to say. Should you trip again? No, you shouldn't. You should go for a walk and drink some water and eat a piece of. Eat a fucking banana and some peanut butter and you should never do mushrooms ever again. Okay? Okay. This is from Brendan. Subject line. Are Doritos bread? Are Doritos bread? Hey, Geck, A few years ago at my bachelor party, me and my buddies were drunk and made a bunch of little turkey and cheese sandwiches using two full size Doritos as the bread. Does this make Doritos bread? No, that's a stupid question. Also I like to call Jet Skis boater cycles because they are the motorcycles of the sea. That's a stupid question, the Doritos bread thing. But I really, I like whoever wrote this email a lot because they, they, they. This. Whoever wrote this email, this guy Brendan, he lives life by his own rules. No any, every, like, you know what, yeah. Call Jet skis motorcycles. That's not wrong. All war. All things are only anything because the collective society the collective everything is only called something because, like, some collective consciousness of society said it was that. But let me tell you something. You're powerful as a human being. I'm going on. I'm going fucking full on motivational speaker today, okay? You're powerful, Brendan, because you have the power to break away from the collective consciousness and decide in your own fucking reality that jet skis are called motorcycles and Doritos are bread. And I, in my own reality, also have the ability to declare that to be stupid. And we can both live together and make out and be harmonious with one another. And for that reason, I love you very much, Brendan. Okay, let's see here. All right, this is from someone who told me not to read their name on the stream. All right, this is from the. Whatever. Jessica. Hi Geck. In the fall, I 26F matched with a girl 29F on the apps. We hit it off right away and arranged a date for the next night. Hold on, let me make sure I'm recording this. All right, I am. We were supposed to meet up at a bar, but that got canceled due to one of her pets going to the emergency vet. Steed still, she invited me over to her place despite the fact. So I headed over with a bottle of wine, not knowing what to expect, drove over and we were hanging out, just chit chatting. I learned on the date that she cams and does a lot of dom work online. I even got a tour of the room where she does her streams. She showed me all of the toys she uses, and I got to see her sink filled to the brim with dildos and butt plugs. We got food ordered to the house. She then invited me to jump into her hot tub. We made out under the full moon in the hot tub while it was raining. We moved things inside the house shortly after and had a good time. We hung out a little bit, was texting a lot, but as of late November, I got ghosted. This was probably one of the craziest things I have ever done. She was a cool person, but I'm disappointed she didn't give me any proper closure to our weird situationship. From K. Yeah, you know, it's a bummer. It's a bummer when, like, if you go on a date with someone and you have an awesome time and then you get ghosted and you get. You'll feel you get a little butt hurt. You're like, why didn't I get proper closure? And I think I. One of the greatest superpowers. I think you can Develop is. And it's hard. It's hard. But, like, if you can give yourself closure and kind of take this evening and go. If you can just give yourself closure and just take this evening for what it is, right? I mean, that's like a microcosm for all of life. All of life is just fucking, you know, anytime you get a. Anytime anything good happens to you, you have a good day, you have a good fucking minute, you have a sip of water. Jesus. Every life is really about taking whatever you can get. And so if you got to have a fun. If you got to make out with a hot lady in a hot tub while she shows you her fucking stream den under the full moon, like, you got to have that night, you know? Lot many people don't even get to have the one good night. Most people have not had a good night in their lives. Their lives have just been toiling in dirt for forever. That's most of all of life for most people has been rolling around in dirt and starving to death. So you're. The fact that you got even one night or you made out with a hot lady in a hot tub, I mean, pretty good. Pretty good. Is it a bummer that it didn't work out into anything else for. Yeah, for sure it's a bummer. And, you know, I like, take a second to grieve it, be like, take a second. Take a second to be pissed off and upset and then, you know, move on and go, all right, well, I got to do one of the craziest things I've ever done, and I'm just gonna take that for what it is, and I'm gonna be confident, optimistic that, you know, my life will continue to have interesting and cool things happen in it, even if it is not as a result of a continuation of. Of this. That's cool. And whatever. I don't know if you miss her. You can watch her. Her stream. I mean, as you probably don't do that. It's not healthy, but okay.