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- [00:00]
Lyle
The following ad is sponsored by Pets Best Insurance Services. Your pet is your bestie, your therapist your preferred match. It's easy to love them, even when they sneak your snacks. It's easy to protect them too, with pet insurance coverage from Pets Best because it's all fun and games until they chew on something they shouldn't. With perfect timing, Pets Best helps protect your furry friend and your budget from this imperfect world. Get up to 90% on eligible vet bills for less than a dollar a day. Find your Perfect match@petsbest.com Pet insurance products offered and administered by Pets Best Insurance Services, LLC or underwritten by American Pet Insurance Company or independents American Insurance Company for all terms, visit petsbest.com policy.
- [00:45]
Ad Voice
Holiday.
- [00:46]
Lyle
Magic is in the air and DSW's got all the shoes to make your season extra merry. Believe you've got parties to attend and lists to check twice. So DSW is taking care of the details like gifts to make their eyes all aglow Styles that bring joy to your world. Brands everyone wants like Ugg, Nike, Birkenstock and more and deals to make your budget bright. Find the perfect shoes for you and yours at a DSW store near you.
- [01:13]
Email Sender
Or dsw.com how crispy are the new Delimex Crispy Quesadillas? Let's see. I'm gonna pop one in the microwave. Yeah, Delimix Crispy Quesadillas are crispy even from a microwave. I can already smell it. Heads up. If you hate loud crunching, you might want to mute. Mmm, so crispy. Like barely hear myself think crispy. These should come with a warning. Mmm. If this crispiness is making you hungry, get to your closest grocery store for Deli Mex Crispy Quesadillas in the frozen aisle. Hello, welcome. Hi, welcome to GeckMail. It is a thing that I started doing recently where instead of having a two way conversation with another person anonymously on the phone, which is what I typically do on my show, I have a one way conversation with myself. How lonely. How desolate. But I but it. But you know what, it's fine because I also have emails that I'm going to read. A lot of people have sent me emails. I made an Instagram story. I said everyone sends an email to therapy gecko mail gmail.com with whatever with the stuff that's going on and I am excited today to read these emails. I got so many notifications which gave my brain a lot of dopamine and so I'm ready to read some people's emails before we do that. I want to say a thank you to everyone who came out to my tour in 2024. I'm finally done. I have no pending tour dates. I don't know when I'll go back on the road. I don't know if I'll go on the road in 2025. I might take a long break to kind of reevaluate what the hell I'm gonna do with my life. But if you came and you said, what's up? And I appreciate you. Thank you very much for doing that. And I actually, I'm inspired to keep doing this geckmail segment because a lot of people when I do, like, a meet and greet after all my shows, and a lot of people came up to me at the meet and greets and told me that they like the viewer mail thing and to keep doing it. And so I was like, oh. And that felt good because normally when you're recording a podcast or doing anything on the Internet, it's just all you see is numbers, and you kind of use those numbers to determine whether or not people like something. But then, you know, a guy named Jeff with like a face and stuff will say out of his mouth to you, hey, I listen. Hey, I am a human being, and I listen to your viewer mail thing, and you should keep doing it. And I'm like, oh, look at this guy. He's made of flesh and bone. And he. And he listens to the viewer mail segment. So thank you, Jeff, listening to this viewer mail segment. I appreciate you. Anything else? I'm. I'm feeling good. I'm off a. Normally I'm off a Celsius, but today I'm off a diet Mountain Dew. It's got about 91 milligrams of caffeine, which is enough to. Which is enough to read these emails. So I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna read these emails. Let's. Let's start reading some emails. All right, first email is from Ashley. The subject line is words for the geck. Am I a. Okay, I have wanted to call in and I would love to chat about my current love life situation. I have been with a guy for 10 years, and before that, I was only with one person who broke my heart. I never got the chance to be single. Really. Now, fast forward. I've wanted him to propose for so long, and it hasn't happened. And now should I leave the situation? But it's. Oh, this is a run on sentence. Okay. This is a real. This is a really long run on Sentence. Hold on. Look, if you send an email, try to include like periods and commas and stuff. Boss, whatever. I'll, I, I'll figure it out. I'll figure it out. You did your best with this email and I'm going to figure it out. I'm going to just put, I'm going to put in my own com, comma, commas and periods into this email. Okay, where was it? Now fast forward. I've wanted him to propose for so long and it hasn't happened. Now should I leave the situation? But it's hard to find someone. Plus, I don't know if I could find someone again that will love me. And recently I've met someone who is a friend with other friends. He is straightforward, blunt, and is just looking for a fbw. It stands for Friends with Benefits. I've never done that before, but took the leap and now I know he doesn't want a relationship. I'm not sure if he just thinks of me as some type of whore with all the things that happened. But also I like being his friend, but would maybe be curious if he would ever be into me in a relationship sense. Before him, I fell in love with my girl best friend. And we both have significant others, but every time we come together, we're like peas in a pod and. Okay, all right, that's it. That's pretty much the thing here. Okay, I'm trying to formulate what my thoughts are for this girl. One, you're not a whore. Okay? You're not a whore. This. Even if you were a whore, there's nothing wrong with being a whore. Not that you are one. I don't believe that you are one. So don't beat yourself up for that. Don't call yourself that. You're fine, totally fine, Ashley. Don't worry. Okay, this second. Here's the thing. Here's what I'm getting out of this run on sentence. I think this is one sentence. It's got a lot of comments, it's got a lot of commas, but no periods. Look, first of all, Ashley, look, if you're, if you just want to have sex with people and that's what you want, that's fine. And if you find other people, that, that's what they want, that's cool too. And if you find other people and they're. And ideally, in an ideal world, which I'd love to live in, which we'd all like to live in, people would be perfectly aligned with each other upon meeting. Now, we do not always live in an ideal world, but I don't know. You said you're curious if he would ever be in a relationship with this guy. Why don't you just talk to him? I feel like 99% of these things are just like, just talk to him. Okay? You're having sex with this guy. You're like, oh, I kind of like him for more than just having sex with him. Maybe he would be into something more. And then ask him and he'll either say, he'll either say, he'll say something on the spectrum between yes and no. Anything besides anything on that spectrum that's not yes. Kind of means no. And then after you have that information, you can use it to determine what you want to do moving forward. This. Okay, I'm sorry, Ashley, I'm sorry to keep making fun of you for this, but I. By nature of the fact that there are no periods in this paragraph, you are striking me as not being highly experienced with communication, which is fine. You, I believe that there is hope for you to become more experienced with this. So why don't you just, why don't you just ask this guy if you like him, if he likes you in that kind of way, and if he doesn't, then you can make your own decision as to whether you want to keep seeing him. And also, by the, the thing, I, you also are like, I don't know if I'm ever gonna find someone who will love you again. You will. I'm confident you will. I'm positive you will. Well, I'm not. You know, I don't, I don't know. I, I, I, I, I, I guess life, a lot of the times feels like it's just a choice between optimism and pessimism. And with pessimism you get nothing. And with optimism, you get a maybe. And so take your maybe, Ashley, and be optimistic that you will find love again. What is this? What do you. I'm trying to read more into this email to see if I missed anything. I fell in love with my girl best friend, but every time it sounds like you like, like your girl best friend, but you don't know if she's gay, I guess, but she also has a boy. You don't know if she's gay. And she also says we both have significant. I fell in love with my girl best friend and we both have significant others. Okay, maybe that's not, I don't know, it sounds like, it sounds like you could use some, some, some self esteem. Ashley, you gotta stop. You got, and you can't be Beating yourself up like this, saying that you're. You're not gonna. You don't know if you can find someone that will love you again. I think you will. I think you will. At least, I think you probably will if you're optimistic about it. Because whatever. Whatever you seek, you shall find. You know, I don't know if. I don't know if any of this. I don't know if this was helpful, but I'm trying. All right, let's move on. Okay. Dealing with a porn addiction in a relationship. That's the subject line of an email from Minecraft Man. Hey, Lyle. Yesterday, a large web of lies I've been spinning for a little over a year came undone and resulted in my girlfriend of three years finding out about the porn addiction I suffered with at the start of our relationship. I was subscribed to multiple only fans pages while telling my girlfriend how deplorable and gross I thought porn was. Ah, we're going to try and work it out. She has some pretty severe mental health issues, and the thought of her hurting herself due to my actions is so painful. Oh, man. I feel quite lost. But I also feel good in not having to continue this lie. Thanks. Minecraft man. 2400. Was it Minecraft porn? What kind of porn was it? That doesn't really matter at all. Ah, fuck, that's heavy. This is heavy. Sort of. Yes. Oh, man. Okay. All right. Well, I don't know Minecraft man. I think maybe I was. I was telling her how gross and deplorable is. I think it's fun. It's funny. Because I think it's one thing to like, hide a secret porn stash, but then to. Or like, if, like, if you're like, like, like, if your girlfriend's going on a rant about, like, how gross she finds porn and you're like, kind of sitting there like, oh, yeah, you know, that's kind of. I guess that's what. That's probably not great. But that's one thing. I guess it's the other thing to, like, actively bring it up that you think porn is horrible while, you know, I don't know, you seem like a younger guy. I'm only. I'm judging that by your. Your email. Minecraft man. 2400. I think maybe as you get older, you become a little bit more comfortable with yourself. Right? Like, I guess I. Look, I'm a. I'm. I myself indulge in pornography. I. From time to time. By. From time to time. I mean, probably. Probably every day. Maybe I Don't know. Sometimes I just do thoughts. But you know, it's probably like every other day porn versus thoughts. But I would hope that like my girl. I don't have a girlfriend, but like if I had one that she. I could talk to her about these things, you know, like if you're gonna have it like that, like a relationship would be a thing where you would really. You want to trust this person. You want this person to know you not. You don't want them like it's already tab. You can have some things that you're keeping to yourself. If you're super into Minecraft pornography or you watch porn way too. Where you watch porn all the time like from like you watch it at work or whatever and you don't wanna. You're not maybe ready or comfortable to share the extent of your thing. That makes sense. Some things I think make sense to keep close to the chest. But I guess your partner should be a person you feel comfortable talking to about this kind of stuff. But when you say. Also when you said she has some pretty severe mental health issues and the thought of her hurting herself through my actions is painful. I. But look, man, I'm sorry to hear that your girlfriend is dealing with this stuff, but another nobody. You should. Dude. No, nobody hurting themselves is. That's the. That's something's going on in their own brain. Right? And I don't think you can blame yourself for something like that. I'm gonna move on, but I like. But I hope you watch less porn and replace it with. With. With video games or. Or cigarettes or something. Let's see here. This is from Evan Pete. Subject line is pizza. Hey, Gecko. Evan again. Oh, crap. I don't. I don't know if you listen to this podcast, Evan, but I. I'm really bad at first names. I have one more question. He's. Hey, Gecko. Evan again, I had one more question. If you see this, does anyone remember an Evan? Evan? I'm sure if you gave me. I swear in my life, Evan, if you gave me any other context to who you are besides your first name. And if we. If we talked and you give me any other context to yourself about aside from just your first name like what we talked about or whatever, I would remember you. But I for first name. You know what, Whatever. It good to hear from you again, Evan. How you doing? Hey, Gecko. Evan again, I had one more question. If you see this. What's your favorite pizza place? Personally, mine is Domino's Parentheses. I know. Hot take. What a Great question. This is. I like this. I. This is. This is easier to answer than, what should I do if my partner is harming herself? Let's see. Let's see. My favorite pizza plate. My favorite pizza place. Evan. Thank you for asking. My favorite pizza place is the 99 cent. Or I don't even know if it exists anymore. At 99 cents, I think it's $1.50. But I like the $50 pizza in New York. And everyone is like, oh, it's shitty pizza, but it's not. And I. People are, I'm not a food snob. I'll eat whatever. I think that some pizza you go to at a fancy place and it's like $19 for one slice, you're gonna have the same experience as if you just have the 99 cent place. So I'm a big fan of those 99 cent pizza places and I hope you're doing well. Evan, I forgot what we talked about because you didn't give me any information about it, but whatever it was, I hope you're doing better with it now. Okay. All right, let's keep going. All right. This is hell. Okay. Someone said, hello from Africa. Hi, gek, my name is. Okay. They said, hi, gek, my name is. And then they wrote their name, and then they wrote parentheses. Please don't mention my name. I'm afraid someone exposes me if. Okay, I'm gonna call you George. That's not the name you gave me, but George, if you don't want me to mention your name, don't put your name in the email. Okay? Because I would have read. Because the way you structured your email is that you wrote, write, don't mention my name before writing your name. Because I don't. I read from left to right, so I would have read your name before reading. Not to mention. Okay, all right, all right. I'm gonna call you George. Hi, Geck. My name is George. Please don't mention. He. He wrote, hi, Geck. My name is George. Please don't mention my name. I'm afraid someone exposes me. Okay. I listened to every episode of your show in 2024 on Spotify. I literally fall asleep to this every night. I'm 24 and I am engaged. I should get married in seven months. But the thing is, I don't feel financially and mentally ready to take this step. But never had the courage to tell this to my fiance. I've applied to a visa to Portugal behind her back, and my trip might happen in February. I used her money from her Car that she sold to afford all the costs involved, which is around 4k. This money was supposed to be used for the marriage. And I don't know how to tell her this. What the. I really love her to death and I don't really intend to run away. I just want to work in Europe, get money for the wedding, rent a house, and later come back to my country to marry her and take her with me to Portugal. Buddy, if you stole $4,000 from this woman and ran away from her behind their back, she's not gonna be there. What? She's not gonna be there to marry you later. She's gonna be pissed. I re. I later come back to my country to marry her and take her with me to Portugal. We've had conversations about moving to Europe or the US but she always tells me that she doesn't want to leave her family and blah, blah, blah. However, life is tough out here. As a young self employed man that doesn't belong to a wealthy family. I see no future here for our family. Should I tell her about my plans now or just do it when I arrive in Portugal and then we'll see? And then he wrote. He literally put 20 exclamation no 20 question marks. He also sent me this email five times. Okay, George. George, what are you doing? George, what are you doing? George? Okay, hold on, let me read. Let me reread this again. I applied for the visa. Okay, so you already. Did you already spend this money? Okay, George, if you already spent this money, you're fucked. Okay, George, if you already spent this money, do you. You have. You know, I think if you already spent this money, you have no fiance and you also owe her $4,000. If you already spent this money, then this woman is probably done with you. And you, you should pay her back the 4,000. Fucking thought. What do you. What do you do? I don't. Or you could run away. Sure, you could just keep running away and just be on there. I don't know if she. I don't. She probably. She probably can't get you. So. Yes, you just stole $4,000 from this lady and ran away. What are you doing, George? I'm not going to say your first name, but I should get married in seven months. You a b. You're not getting married. You're this lady by the cuz. Here's the thing. This late, you don't. I can tell you don't like this lady that much by the way that you're talking about it. And if you don't like this lady that much, and you don't want to get. I'm gonna just tell you. I'm gonna. I'm gonna talk to you as if you hadn't spent this woman's $4,000. If you don't like this lady that much and you're not ready, don't fucking get married. Don't fucking get married. Why do people do. Why do people make these, like, giant life decisions that they don't want to make? What? I'd love her to death. Why. Then why did you. Well, okay, George, here's what I'll say. If you want. If you're like, okay, I already. If you. If. Let's say you hear this. I assume you're gonna hear this because you said you listen to every episode, and so let's say you hear this and you go, oh, the gecko guy told me I shouldn't have spent. Yeah, I shouldn't have stolen $4,000 from my fiance, which is, I guess, what you did. What do you do now? I guess. I guess. I guess go to porch if you really want to be able to sleep at night. Better you go to Portugal and make your money and pay her back what you owe her and then leave her alone and. And start a new life and do whatever you're going to do. And also, just like all so many things about this email, George, the fact that you put your name before putting don't mention my name. I'm. I'm worried about you, George. I don't. Here's why. Let me. I'm worried about. I'm worried about you because I genuinely think that you didn't. I'm willing to. I'm gonna give you some plausible deniability that you didn't realize what you were doing when you stole this woman's money. Like, I don't think it. I don't think that the. The fact that you put your real name before writing don't mention my name makes me feel as though you're not good at coming to logical conclusions about things, both on micro levels, like how you structured this email, and on macro levels, like stealing $4,000 from your fiance. I don't. I'm willing to believe that you didn't know what you were doing. And I don't think. I don't know. There. There's a. Some circuit is loose in your brain that I don't know if this podcast. This. Me answering your email on this podcast could be the last line of defense. I don't know. I don't know what Your life is like. And I don't know if you have people in your life that can help you re solder together that, that exposed wire in your brain that's causing you to live this way, but if you don't, and this is it, I implore you, George, to go talk to a real therapist and just try to understand the logical conclusions of things. Try to think. I don't know, I don't know how I can get you to think, but you, this is. Maybe you just. I don't, I don't think you're like a bad guy. I don't. Well, maybe I, I, I don't think you view this as you stole $4,000 from your fiance. I think you view it, you viewed it as, oh, I'm just taking this so that I can give her more money in the future, which is still stealing, but try to understand stuff. God, that's a terrible response to this email. But I, I don't know if I could. Yourself. What do you self. You said you're a young self employed man. What are you self employed doing? Okay, George, call into the show. I stream live. Go follow me on Twitch tv, lyleforever and hit the follow thing. And then you'll get a notification for when I'm live and then follow me on Instagram. And when you, Next time you see I'm live, call me because I want to talk to you about this because I'm. I this. I want to help you because I think you're something is some, some neurons in your brain are not firing correctly, and I don't actually think I can help you. I think I'm insane. And I don't, I don't know. I don't think I'm actually am equipped to help you at all. But I want to. I'm curious. Maybe, maybe, maybe I can help you. I don't know. But call in and give your. If, if you didn't spend the money, just give it back immediately. Okay. All right, let's move on. What does the chat have to say? What does the chat have to say? Someone in the chat said he's ashamed and secretly wants you to dox him. That's interesting. Um, okay. All right.
- [27:24]
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- [28:32]
Lyle
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- [29:18]
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- [29:48]
Email Sender
All right, whatever. Let's keep going. Okay? Oh, I love the subject of this email. This is from Andrew. The subject line is masturbation and existential dread. Hi Ly, I am a fairly average person and I am mostly content with my life. What a beautiful sentence. However, I do think there is one thing that sets me apart from most others being that I've never pleasured myself. It's not for religious or moral reasons. I've just never bothered to jerk off. What? You've just never bothered to do it? I've just never bothered to jerk off. Would you say I'm missing out? I'm 21. Also, how do you deal with the fact that no matter what you're doing, that also how do you deal with the fact that no matter what you do, you're going to die someday? That's my. That's the. Okay, so these are. These are two separate questions. One I'm significantly more interested in. You've never bothered to jerk off. What would you say you're missing out, Andrew? Here's what I'm going to tell you. I don't. I don't think you're missing out. I don't think you're missing out. And here's why. I don't think you're missing out because. Well, if. Look, if. Here's. Here's. Why, here's what. I'm going to be so honest with you, Andrew. You're not missing out because you're telling me that you are content with your life. And every time I jerk off, it's. It's longing. It's like a longing for sexual satisfaction that I am trying to address via jerking off. And then the longing. It's a constant cycle. It's a longing. And we satisfy the longing briefly. We push it down with jerking off. I think that's what jerking off might be for a lot of people is you have a longing and then you jerk off, and then the longing comes back and then you jerk off. But you're content with your life, Andrew, So it kind of makes sense that you never bothered to jerk off. People who jerk off typically want things. That's why you jerk off. Because you want some. I don't know. I don't know why I'm imagining you just sitting in a white, blank room in a chair, staring, content. That's a bit how I'm imagining you. I guess that literally. I guess if you have an office job, that is kind of literally what you do. But, yeah, I don't think you're missing out on anything. You have. You're doing life way better than everyone who's ever jerked off. That's how I truly feel about this. I'm just surprised. I'm like, nothing's ever. I've never in my life been like, oh, I would have gotten so much more work done, and my relationships would have been deeper, and I would have had a greater breadth of life experiences had I only jerked off a lot. I've never had that thought in my life. So do with that as you will, Andrew. Okay. How do you deal with the fact that no matter what you do, you're gonna die someday? I have not yet figured this out. I don't know if you ever will. How do you deal with the Fact that no matter what you're gonna do, you're gonna die someday. You know, Andrew, I don't. Are you. Are you lying to us about being content? How do you deal with the fact that no matter what you're gonna do, you're gonna die someday? I'm gonna tell a story, Andrew. Andrew, I'm gonna tell a story to you. It's not a story about jerking off for those who thought it may be. But I'm gonna tell a story about a hilarious thing that happened to me at the Mall of America. Nothing really happened. It all happened in my own mind. But I was at the Mall of America in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and I saw at the Mall of America, they have an amusement park, they have a Nickelodeon themed amusement park, and they have a spongebob roller coaster. And I saw the roller coaster. I thought it looked cool. And I was about to buy a ticket to ride this roller coaster, and I thought to myself, you know, I might have fun on this roller coaster, but, you know, I'll just ride it and then it'll be over, and then there won't even ever been a point of riding it. So I'm just not gonna ride it. And then I didn't ride it. Is that not the most depressing fucking thing you've ever heard? What's happened to me? That was. I felt so sad that I. That I eored myself out of riding this roller coaster. And I think it's. It's kind of a metaphor for life. I wish. I regret not riding that roller coaster. I wish I would have ridden that roller coaster. So, yes, had I ridden the roller coaster, nothing about my life would be remotely different. But I don't know. I. It would have been fun. So ride your roller coaster and stop worrying about the fact. Stop. Don't be in. Like, when I had that thought, oh, it's just gonna be over, I wanted to punch myself in the face because I was. It's just such a stupid way for me to have looked at that situation. And so if you were to kind of pinch in on that, you could say that that's a metaphor for a life as a whole. So ride. Ride your roller coaster, Andrew. That's all I. That's all I have to say. All right, let's see here. Someone in the chat said. Well, did you go back? No, I didn't. Someone said. Someone said if he was really content with his life, he wouldn't have sent the email. That's pretty funny. I guess that's kind of true. Let's see Someone said if he doesn't masturbate, he has a higher chance of developing prostate cancer. The body lets you know what you miss. Okay. Someone said maybe they're asexual. Oh, they could be asexual, I guess. But do I. Do asexual people masturbate? Is if. If you're asexual and you masturbate, chime in. I don't know what chiming in looks like. Maybe, just maybe just yell. Maybe just if you're listening to this podcast and you're asexual and you masturbate, maybe just yell out your window, I'm asexual and I masturbate. And maybe I'll hear it. Alright, let's don't actually do that. Or do. I don't know why I told you to not do it. It doesn't affect me in any way and I don't think it'll bother anyone. Alright, let's keep going. Someone wrote. Okay, this is from Dharma. The subject line is, I will be disappointed if my story is not included in the episode. You know what? Fuck you. I'm not gonna read that one. Okay, hold on. I'm still scrolling through these. Okay, someone wrote got. Okay, this is from Victor. Subject line got scammed out of 18 on Facebook, but became friends after. Hi, Lyle. Yesterday I took a gamble and tried to buy third party tickets for a concert on Facebook. The account was a lady with kids in the profile pic and it looked sketchy, but it was only $18 for the ticket, so I decided to risk it to get the biscuit. That's a triple rhyme. After I had already sent the scammer the money for the ticket, she requested another $10 to change the name on the ticket. It was a scam. I didn't get the biscuit. I sent her a message saying I forgive her for stealing my money and I laughed about it. Wait, what? I didn't get the biscuit. I sent her a message saying I forgive her for stealing my money and I laughed about it. She replied, admitting it was all a lie and is extremely sorry for hurting me out of my $18 and also tells me her name is David. We end up chatting about tough times and how it's sometimes shitty for everyone out there and we bonded over stuff. He asked me how I found it in me to forgive him. I told him I listened to a gecko on the Internet who says life is crazy. David and I are friends now. Thank you for all you do. There's no way that's real. I feel like this has got there's got to be no way. There's no way that this is a real thing. If. If it is real, I. Victor, I must ask if this is true. If this is true. Did they give you back the money? I'm. I'm. I'm throwing this on R, slash. I'm. I'm. I'm putting this on R, slash. That happened. I don't think this happened. And you guys know me. I'm pretty. I believe most stuff. A lot of people are. They comment on the show being like, this is all fake. I believe most stuff. I think. I don't believe in this. Send me screenshots, Victor. Victor, if you. Victor, if you send me screenshots, and I also want a Venmo screenshot of them sending you back the 28. I will believe this story. Let's move on. All right, this is from Ava. Subject line hypnotherapy. Parentheses I'm scared. Good day. Gecko, please assign me a name of your choosing. All right. I'm going to just call you by Ava. People. When you send an email, Google goes like, oh, we'll just put your first and last name. But also, what an Ava. No one. You're fine, I guess. Alright, whatever. Yesterday I attended my very first hypnotherapy consultation. Therapy alone has not been enough for me to fully move forward from my past experiences, so I've officially become desperate enough to try anything. Hypnotherapy is categorized as alternative medicine and holistic, which is funny because I'm working toward becoming a registered nurse. I'm on the fence about if this hypnotherapist is a quack. Hmm. Our one hour free consultation became a one and a half hour conversation. She told me that she, quote, works with the government as needed, has a team of military men who have never faced a single loss. That she has been shot and was told she would lose her arm, but didn't and beat me in an arm wrestle to prove her strength. She preached the power of the human mind and that the government cannot replicate the strength of human brain vibrations and that anyone who tries writing about these findings has gone missing. She also told me that someday I will walk around knowing that I am far more badass than anyone around me that hasn't struggled in life. And she feels sorry for those who haven't. I haven't been hypnotized, but I am scheduled to be in a week. What do you think about this? Is it a bad idea to let her hypnotize me? Parentheses I'm going to anyway. So she actually, by the way, by the way, for anyone who's like, oh, well, if you're going to anyway, then why the fuck you send the email? I'm so glad that you wrote that you're going to anyway, because that takes the pressure way off of me. And now I can just be like, great, you're going to do whatever you're going to do anyway, so I'm just going to say whatever. You know what? Look, well, here's my question. Here's my question. Okay? You had a one hour free consultation. How much money is. Are you going to pay this lady to hypnotize you? Here's what I would say, Ava. It just. I don't know how much is you're gonna pay this lady, but if you're completely, utterly okay with the idea that you paid a lady, that you paid a crazy lady $250 to scam you, which is fine. You're not. I don't think you're an idiot for doing that. I actually think you're smart for accepting that that could be the case before doing it. Right. That's smarter than going in and being like, oh, this is really gonna be a thing. It just, I think going into it being like, I fully accept both the possibility that this might be helpful and the possibility that I have been scammed out of $250. That's smart. If you do that, I think you're golden. You're not setting yourself up for disappointment. It's a bad idea. Let her hypnotize. But yeah, I mean, go ahead. What's she gonna do? I mean, the worst thing that you could do in this situation is waste a bunch of money and be fooled. But you're not really being fooled. If you're. If you're subjecting yourself to a scam, knowing fully accepting the risks that you're being, that you could be scammed. I. You. Maybe less. Are you still a fool? I don't think so. You're just. You're. You're an optimistic person being financially taken advantage of, which is not a horrible thing to be. Not a horrible thing to be at all. That's so funny that she arm wrestled you. You know what? I. I like this. I'm actually gonna. Next time I have any therapist of any kind, I'm going to make sure that they can beat me in an arm wrestling before they treat me any. Actually, I'm gonna. I'm gonna actually extend that to any health care provider of all time. My doctor, my therapist My dentist, all of them need to beat me in an arm wrestling competition before I give them any sort of credibility. Because if you can't beat me in arm wrestling, I'm weak as. And if you can't beat me in an arm wrestling, you, you have no business treating my mental or physical health. I'm curious. What, I'm curious how this works, Ava. Therapy alone has not been enough for me to fully move on from my past experiences. I don't, I don't know. I don't know. It's funny with this show, cuz sometimes I'm like, you guys, you should just get therapy. And sometimes there, I don't, I don't know. Some problem. I, I just, this is me thinking aloud. This is not me declaring anything, by the way. That extends to everything I ever say on this podcast. Just thinking aloud here. Sometimes you have a problem and you try to attack it with therapy or walking or whatever. And I, I think sometimes some problems, some things you just have to accept some in life, some in life you just gotta accept. And there's things that you can do to. There's always, there's, I swear in my life, there's always things that you can do to change your situation and change the way you think about stuff. But maybe before that you just have to accept some shit. I don't know. I might be completely wrong about that. I might be completely right. I don't know. I don't know. But whatever. Let this lady hypnotize you and turn you into a chicken. That sounds fun. Let's move on. Let's do another thing. How long have I been recording this for? 43 minutes. That's pretty good. Okay, let's keep going. Da da da da da da D okay. This is from Brenda. The subject line is Buffalo Bill. Hello, Geck. I've been wanting to ask you about this for a while, but I didn't think it constituted an entire phone call. I like that word, constituted. Several times throughout your podcast, you've mentioned Buffalo Bill. Really? Have I? I have no idea what you're talking about. Can someone make a compilation of all the times I've mentioned Buffalo Bill on the podcast? Because I, I, this is a foreign idea to me that I mentioned Buffalo Bill on the podcast a lot. I honestly. Look, here's the thing. I could see, I could see it slipping through the cracks in my brain right now that I've mentioned him once or twice. But you say several times you mentioned Buffalo Bill. All right. Several times throughout your podcast, you've mentioned Buffalo Bill and referenced him when talking about serial killers. I wanted to make sure that, you know, he was not a real guy. He's a fictitious serial killer used in the Silence of the Lambs. Okay, I'm gonna tell you guys what happened to my brain just now. As I. As I read what I just read in my brain, neurons were firing off my gut. I was about to say I fucking knew that he wasn't real. That's what I was about to say. Of course I knew he wasn't real. Why I. Like, I was about to attack this lady for insinuating that I. What do you mean? I didn't think he was. Of course I know he's not real. And then a tenth of a second passed, and I immediately realized that I did think he was real. I did not. I didn't think he was real, but I. He. I. Maybe he could have. Maybe. I didn't. I didn't think he was real, but I didn't know he was fake for sure. That's what happened. That's why you got. That's why you got to wait at least a tenth of a second before you say stuff, because you might prove yourself a fool. He's a fictitious serial killer used in the Silence of the Lambs and then spoofed in Joe Dirt. The real guy who did the human skin stuff was Ed Gein. Gain G E I n. I'm gonna say gain was Ed Gein. He inspired such movie killers as Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and thus also inspired Buffalo Bill. It's important to me that you know that I'm a little suspicious as to why it's important to you that I know that, Brenda. But whatever. Maybe you're just a true crime gal. Have a great day and eat lots of candy. I will not. I will not. I will not eat any candy. I am off the stuff. PS Idk if you remember me, but I was on stage at your first live show in Vegas and talked about catfishing older men online when I was 11 years old. I also met you again after your second v. Vegas show. Thanks for always being cool and nice. Ah, thanks, Brenda. Thanks for coming to those shows. Those are fun shows. Those are fun shows. Okay. All right. Okay, Jenny, subject line, I am an actual witch. Well, she wrote, Hi, I'm an actual witch. Hi, Lyle. My husband and I started watching early 2020. We saw the guy who had too many brownies and had to go meet. God, I hope that guy was okay. I know exactly who you're talking about. I think that guy's name was Kyle. If I. Hold on. I actually have to look this up because if I remember that guy's name correctly, I'm kind of a genius, dude. That's the thing, is I won't remember the first. Hold on. I'm scrolling through my TikTok to see if I remember that guy's name. I won't remember a person's name the second they tell it to me, but I might remember a person's name five years later. So let's see if I got that right. I'm pretty sure this guy's name is Kyle. Hold on. I don't know. I'm wasting time on this show. I mean, what are you. Wasting time? We can make this as long. I could do this for four hours. I'm not going to, but I theoretically could. There is no. I could. This could be. I could do this for. Oh, here we go. I've been suspicious of my roommate kind of getting with my girlfriend recently, so I kind of decided to get back at him. He hates it when I steal his food. So I went into his room when he wasn't there, and I found some brownies that tasted a little off. I'm kind of feeling a little off because of it, but feel like I'm lucky tonight because I'm pretty sure that God's real and I'm about to meet him. How many brown is yui, Kyle? Like four. Okay. I don't. All right. I don't. I don't know if you guys could hear that at all, but his name was Kyle. Brandon, maybe we can boost it in post or not. I don't know. I don't know if that'll. I don't know if that works. Don't. Don't kill yourself trying to boost it in post. It could just be shitty. All right. That was a very, very, very, very long way of proving that. I remembered a guy's name. All right, back to this email. We saw the guy who had too many brownies and had to go meet God. I hope the guy was okay. His name is Kyle and we do not know if he is okay. Anyway, we love you. My husband is a therapist and has called a lot but hasn't gotten through yet. He loves how you help people, especially the guy who was living with his grandma and working at Taco Bell. You gave them the slice of the real that they need. I remember that guy too. Don't remember his name. I am a for real witch. I've been doing all sorts of things that give Me peace and freak out my neighbors for the past few years now. I think you are a magical being too. Have you considered that yet? Um, I'm gonna read the rest of this email before I give any thoughts. Food for thought. Every time I watch your stream, I give magic blessings on you in chat because listen to you feeds the soul. You're like millennial Delilah, but on Twitch instead of the radio. I can tell. I. I can tell I definitely am millennial Delilah because I don't know who Delilah is. What's Delilah? Is that from the song hey there, Delilah. We saw you in Austin 2023, and I asked the wienermobile guy if he ever did it in the. In the car. I wonder what he answered to that. I forgot about that. P.S. if you need anything, let me know. Okay? If I want to put a curse on someone, I'll. I know what emails to respond to. Have I considered that I am a magical being? I was in the shower today and I was reflective. I was. I had a slow morning. It was nice. I was reflective in the shower. I was looking at my body and I felt very grounded upon the earth. I was like, what? I was like, I was looking at my body like how Spider man looked at his body after once he realized that he had, like, spider powers. And I was like, oh, my God, I am like a thing. I felt in that moment that I was indeed a magical being. And therefore, we all are magical beings. You know, if you want to get a little frou frou up in this bitch. We all are magical beings. You know how magical it is to pick up a glass of water and drink it? You don't need to. I don't think you need to cast spells on your neighbors to be a magical being. You can just walk around and you're doing a pretty good job. You're doing better than actually dogs. I was gonna say you're doing better than dogs, but dogs are magical beings too. Look at them. They're walking around. Humans are a little bit more magical because we can use the computer and look at porn and Reddit, which is a little. Which is sort of magical. We create. We created porn and read it. We didn't create sex. Sex has been around for longer than humans, but we created filming it and putting it on the Internet, and that's pretty magical. I will let you know if I need anything, Jenny. All right, hold on. This is from Sarah. Subject line. My boyfriend bought me a 23 karat gold Pokemon card. Hi, Geck. My boyfriend and I have bonded over many things. One of those things being Pokemon cards. We've both been collecting for years and just started playing the Pokemon trading card game. That's actually not what she wrote. She wrote playing the Pokemon TCG parentheses trading card game. It fucking rules. Life is great. Highly recommend finding a partner you can do nerdy shit with. You know what I'm realizing is I forgot that I'm on video. I thought I forgot that there's a video version of this podcast. And I've just been digging in my belly button. I've just been fidgeting with my belly button throughout the whole podcast thinking that nobody could see it. Well, all right. Anyway, attached to this email is a photo of the vintage 23 karat gold plated Pokemon card that he gifted me recently. The economy in the 90s was so rich, Burger King gave out real gold plated toys to kids. Okay, this is a audio thing, so you're not gonna be able to see the card, but it looks pretty cool. Is that real gold? Is a golden Jigglypuff? Is that real gold? That's pretty cool. That's really nice. Highly recommend finding a partner you can do nerdy shit with. I mean, yeah, you know, that's nice, but just so everyone out there is listen. Just for the. Everyone out there is listening. You can also do nerdy shit sadly and alone, which is. Has been a popular way to do it for years. If you can do it with. If you find a partner to do it with, that's great. But people have been doing nerdy shit alone in their basement depressed for a long time too. And if that's how you want to do it, that's a perfectly legitimate way to live life. Okay, hold on. Okay, this person also wrote please do not read my name. So I'm gonna call them Aaron. Okay, Aaron wrote. The subject line is just to throw off my chest, or I guess get the. I think they meant just to get this off my chest. Okay. All right. Hi, Geck. Love your show. Please do not read my name. But I was too lazy to make another email for this. Well, I. All right, I'm. I already chewed that other guy out for this and so just take what I said to him and replace your name. I want to say life kind of sucks right now. First, in the beginning of the year, I found out my boyfriend of two years watched porn. Then two months ago, I saw he had a secret Reddit where he traded nudes with people. And finally two weeks ago, I saw he had an only fans where he messaged women. Is that like he had like. He was posting on only fans or he. It, like, is just messaging people on there. Every time I found out sl brought something up, he just lied. Still love him, though, and I want to trust him. We're going to a work Christmas party tonight, so. Yeah, lol. I'm very pissed off. Anyway, love your show. Gak. Bye. Okay. You know, you. You wrote, just want to throw this off. You wrote, I just want to get this off my chest. So I'm gonna assume that you don't want my opinion on this, but also I'm gonna give it. Give you my opinion on this. I mean, look, say what you will about your boyfriend. Like, doing all this stuff is like, I want to trust him. This is a horny man who is watching, does all this stuff, and I don't know if he. I don't know if he's gonna stop. And if you don't like that he does all of it, I probably would get out of there. I don't know. It's just funny to me. I can't tell if you guys like each other. See, this is one of those. I say this every time I do geckmail, but this is one of those things where I would really like to talk to Aaron about this because I don't know if Aaron. I don't. I feel like I don't know why Aaron is staying with this person if their values are unaligned. And there. There might. I might get an answer to that by talking to Aaron, but I don't know. Enjoy your work Christmas party. I hope your boyfriend does not get a boner. I don't know why I said that. That wasn't funny. All right, I'm going to read the chat real quick. Someone said, is that the girlfriend of the guy that has the porn addiction from earlier? Maybe. Could be, could be, could be. Someone said, smell your finger. Does your belly button stink? Because there's bacteria in the belly button they can't find anywhere else on earth besides in people's belly buttons. No, I don't think. I don't think that. I don't think there's anything in the thing. Yeah, I. I smelled. I don't know. I got distracted. I smell. I did smell my finger. I did smell my finger. Someone said, you should check out some porn and see what the fuss is about. He shouldn't be talking to other girls if he's with you. But porno has been around since. We could draw a voluptuous silhouette on the walls of a cave with a stick of ash. Is that something you've done before? Okay, uh, this is from Aaron. This guy's name is actually Aaron and the subject line is leaving alone. What's up Geck? Love the geckmail thing. Thank you Aaron. I'm reaching out because I just started living on my own for the first time in my life. I just got out of a four year relationship and before that I had another four year relationship. So I'm not very used to being single, let alone living without roommates. It's definitely the first time I've had to spend so much time without other people around. On top of this I work entirely remotely so I spend most of my time alone in my apartment with my cat. Otherwise I spend time making music or playing gigs with my band. So I'm not doing absolutely nothing with my life. However, the extensive alone time is feeling pretty weird. Just wanted to get your advice on how to handle extensive alone time and how to not feel like I'm a total piece of shit on my nights off with nothing to do. Lol. Thank you my lizardly friend. Aaron. You. You emailed the right guy. Not necessarily for advice but at the very minimum for commiseration. I too live alone and work remotely doing doing my gecko shit and brother I struggled severely with it. I've always wondered if like living alone is not the best way to do it. I mean human beings are very communal and you should I personally, if you want just to give you where a sense of where I'm at. Aaron is like my number one goal for this year. I mean I have a few goals for this year but one of the big big ones is to do something where I am constantly surrounded by people. You know I did my tour for the past two years and that kind of scratched that itch. But now that that's over I'm like I gotta find. I really need to find something that gets me out and about with other people. And so I'm super on that wave of trying to figure out what that is. I and I want it to be something that I create and that I do. But in the meantime I'm like let me just go out to shit. So I've been going out to shit. I fuckin I go to a super smash brothers melee tournament once a week. I go to yoga. That's nice. I don't know where you live but just go out to go out and do stuff like premeditated like, like at the beginning of the week, right Every day of the week down and fill as many of those things as you can up with, like, places to go to, leave your house. That's it. I know it's not great. I know. I know saying just leave your house LOL is not great advice, but that kind of just leave your house LOL is kind of the advice. Um, but I. I'm curious because you said you actually weren't asking me about how to minimize your alone time. You were asking me how to handle it. You wrote, how do we hand extensive alone time? Well, I know there's. There's a lot of peace with being alone. I think it's good. I think if. I think for you, since you've. You're not used to being alone. I think. I think if you're not. If you're not used to being alone and you've always had a fucking partner and you've always had roommates, you've always had all this shit, then I think it's good to learn how to be alone. But if you're always alone all the time, you're probably gonna be fucking miserable. So I don't know where you fit in that category if you're trying to handle it, if you're trying to be around other people. But go on, like meetup.com or Facebook groups or Google or, I don't know, maybe you live in, like, a small town in Nebraska, in which case you really are. But I don't you. Most places that have people and buildings, you can find a place to go at night. So just do that. Go out, leave your house, lol. That's my advice to you, Aaron. Um, and you're not alone in living alone and being alone. Music is good. Playing gigs with your band is good. Why don't you go out? Why don't you just dive into the music scene? Where do you. Well, if you're okay, if you're in a band and you play gigs, I assume you live in a major American city, so just, why don't you go instead of playing your own. I mean, instead of just playing your own gigs, why don't you go out to other, like, local concerts and talk to ladies with big, big gauge ears?
- [66:46]
Lyle
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- [67:32]
Email Sender
When.
- [67:33]
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- [69:04]
Email Sender
My name okay, this is from Bruna Subject line I kicked my mom's boyfriend in the nuts. Okay. Sup gek? You can call me bp. Am I in the wrong? I was having dinner with my family and at the time I was like a rebel teenager who hates the world. Once I finished, I asked to leave the table and I do. So I got to my room to watch something on my computer and my mom's boyfriend starts yell. His name is Paul. He starts yelling from the kitchen, your daughter is useless. She's a bitch. I already didn't like him, but all of a sudden Paul yells imma whoop her ass. And as the rebel teenager I was, I yelled back, touch me and you'll see. Expecting Paul to ignore as he usually did when we argued. Bro, I am telling you I've never seen that man run so fast in my life. He kicks the door open, looks dead in my soul and says, say that Again, which I did, and he got ready to slap me. So as a defense, I punched him in the nuts. I thought you said you kicked him in the nuts. I don't know if I believe this story anymore, Bruna, because you said you kicked him, and now you're saying you punched him and I don't know if I. I don't. I mean, a punch in the. This guy must have been pretty tall for you to punch him in the nuts. Maybe you meant. Maybe you meant kick. All right, whatever. I punched him in the nuts. My brother's trying to hold him and my mom's losing it completely. He tried to grab my foot, but instead grabbed the computer and broke it. In the aftermath, I was grounded for three months. Paul went to his parents house for a while and paid for the computer. My mom and Paul are still together. It's been five years, and we just learned to tolerate each other's existence. Have a great night, Geck. Love you. Keep doing what you do. Parentheses. Come to Portugal. Oh, okay, so this is. You're in Portugal. So maybe if English isn't your first language, maybe I'll chalk up the kicking, punching, contradiction. What would you call it? Conflict, Controversy. The kicking versus punching controversy. I could. Maybe it's because. Maybe it's that. I don't know. Were you in the wrong? It's been five years ago. It sounds like you guys just hated each other. That's the thing is, were you in the wrong? Doesn't really matter because time. Time has. Time doesn't really, I guess, give that much of a. As to whether or not you're in the wrong, because. What. I don't even know what me answering this question would even do at this point. Were you in the wrong? I mean, it sounded like. It sounded like he was about to hit you and you defended yourself. I'm not a jury. But do you still live with these people? Paul? Sounds crazy. I don't know, bp. I hope you get some peace. This sounds like a very not peaceful situation. I don't know what it's been like. I don't know what it's like nowadays, but I hope you get some peace. That sounds kind of crazy. Okay, okay. Okay. All right. This is from Ahmed. And he just kind of keyboard smashed and wrote ah as the subject line. Hello, Lyle. Hope you're doing good. This is Isaac from the Sultanate. How do you pronounce that word? The Sultanate of Oman. I'm googling this. What is the Sultanate of Oman? Oh, fuck. This is in the Middle East. Oh, it's near Dubai. The Sultanate of Oman. Okay, that's cool. Okay. Anyway, this is Isaac from the Sultanate of Oman. This is fucking cool that people are listening all the way over there. I've been a longtime listener. I remember the first time I watched you. You were talking to the mushroom lady. I wanted to tell you my secret. Here goes the story. I know exactly who you're talking about when you say the mushroom lady. There's an old lady who was talking about how she wanted to be a mushroom after she dies. A lot of. A lot of blasts from the past calls in these emails. I used my college. Okay. I wanted to tell you my secret. Here's the story. I used my roommate's college account to drop out of college from the website. Oh, so you dropped out of. You logged into your roommate's college account and then you dropped out of college for him? That's crazy. I use my roommate's college account to drop out of college from the website because it always bothered me that he masturbates, like, 80% of the time while we were in the apartment. See, that. Okay. For the person was that guy Andrew, who was content with his life and was wondering if he should try masturbating. Masturbating has never. I don't. That just masturbating led to this guy dropping out of college, and it's probably led to lots of people across the world dropping out of college. So back to that old email. Just keep not masturbating. It's gonna. Your life's gonna be a lot better. All right. We were in the apartment, and he never washed the dishes or contributed anything to the chores we had to do to keep the place decent. He always catcalled girls in public every time we were in the car when we drove to get dinner. After I made him drop out, he just accepted it, and now he's in the military, and I haven't heard anything after that since. I kind of feel bad about it now and don't at the same time. Wait a minute. Okay. You logged in to your roommate's college account, Dropped out of college by hitting a button. Can you even. I guess. I guess I was gonna say can you even do that? But I guess how else would you do it? Ever? You do. You enroll in this online. I guess you drop out online too. But then you need to. Don't. You don't have to verify something. It. See, it's just funny to me that it's that easy. I also believe you that it's that easy. It's Also, it's hilarious that he just accepted it. Okay, this guy wanted to drop out of college easily. This guy did not want to be there. If what stopped this guy from going to college is the fact that you. He could have easily gone to the administration and said it was mistake, but he didn't. So he. You. You can probably feel less bad about the fact that he didn't want to be there anyway. This guy was jacking off the entire time and not do. This guy didn't want to be in college, so it wasn't right to drop out for him. But you didn't ruin his dreams. He didn't really have any. I don't know. Maybe it sounds like the military is better for him. He'll. He'll jack off way less than military or maybe more. I don't know. I'd love to join the show one day and call you, but it costs so much money. And usually when you stream, it's like 4am for me. But just to clarify, it is free to call into the stream, but it's less free if you live in a foreign country. Not because I hate people who live in foreign countries, but because the cell phone companies do. And by the way, they don't pay me. I don't make people who call in. It just they get billed by their phone for international calls. Anyway, whatever. I love the jazz music between the calls from the old podcast episodes. Just want to say I miss them. We still have the jazz music in there. I wish you come over here in Oman one day and get to talk to strangers. I think that'd be pretty awesome. Love you, man. Hope the Lord brings our souls together in the kingdom of heaven when we die. I hope you take care, dude. I'll go to Oman. I really, I just to tell you where I'm at, Ahmed, is I really want to do more. Like, I want to like travel, filming gecko shit in like interesting places. Like, I love to go to the Middle east and do it. I'm just kind of like, I just got back from doing these two years of crazy touring and I'm a little tired. But once I kind of. Eventually I'm gonna get bored. I'm going to the gym, I'm taking walks, I'm eating salmon. And that's gonna last about two weeks. And then I'm gonna get really bored and I'm gonna be like, you know what? I want to go to the Sultanate of Oman. And when I do that, you will be receiving an email from me because I'm gonna show up and be like, hey, what? I don't even know. I couldn't pronounce this place two days ago, and now I'm here. So can I sleep on your couch? And if I do, I promise not to masturbate. All right, how long have I been going on this for? Okay, let's get. Let's. We can take a couple more. This is an update. Okay, so this is from Noah. Subject line, Pokemon card deck guy update. I don't know if you guys remember in the last Geck mail, a guy called in about how he. A guy called in about how he went into debt buying Pokemon cards, and he. He's given us an update. Hey, Gecko, I am Noah. Here's an update. I am not broke. My car is fixed, cats are healthy, I'm getting a raise soon, and my girlfriend is hot, so life is cool. Here's more pictures of my favorite card. Also was Wonder. I'm. It's funny that multiple people are sending me Pokemon cards today. Also, I was wondering if you tried Zelda Echoes of Wisdom. I loved it. And you talked about Zelda a bit, and you might like it, you know. Okay, so I did play Zelda Echoes of Wisdom. And here's my review. I just wanna. I just. Here's what's sad about this is gonna. I know, like, 99% of people who are about to hear this are not gonna give a Fuck, but the 1% that play the Zelda games might. Here's my thing about Zelda. Echoes of Wisdom. All I want. First of all, I think Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom are overrated and everyone dick rides them. They're not Zelda games. They're, like, trying to make a dud. Like, it's like a new kind of a game. It's not Zelda. It's like a RPG thing in the Zelda universe, but it's not. It doesn't feel like a Zelda game. I want a boring, linear Zelda game like we had with Twilight Princess, Ocarina of Time, Wind Waker. Just. I want that boring game where you're like, holy shit, I got the boomerang. That's awesome. Holy shit, I got the bow and arrow. That's. I want a boring, linear Zelda game. I don't want to do chores in your fake universe. I would buy fucking Animal Crossing if that's what I wanted to do. But I don't want to play Animal Crossing. I don't want to play Final Fantasy. I want to play the Legend of fucking Zelda. And all these games are the Breath of the Wild and all that. Anyway, so Echoes of Wisdom. There's so many people just don't care about this. You can fast forward through this if you don't care. Okay. Echoes of Wisdom is like. It's like somewhere in between. It's like, okay, we've. Here's all the. Here's all the. Like, oh, open world, whatever you can. You have magical power. Shit from Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom and like linear Zelda. It's a nice in between and it was a fun game. I. What happened was I was playing it and then I got bored and then I stopped and I didn't finish it. That's my review anyway. All right, sorry. I don't know why I ranted about Zelda. Well, actually I do. It's because someone asked me. All right, let's see here. What else we got going on? Someone said questions for you. This is from Starfruit Stir Fry. They wrote. How are you doing, Geck? I thought I'd send you an email with some questions since the past episodes seem to be a little challenging on some emails when you don't have any additional input from the sender about their issues problems. Thank you for thinking of me. Starfruit Stir Fry. As of now, I'm doing great for myself. But I have some questions for you. I left some of my responses in case you're curious as well. What's your favorite color of all time? Either black or green, some between there and. Okay, so she asked me the question and then is also putting her. Oh, his name is Evan. Okay, this is a guy. Sorry, I. All right. Here at Mine is green. I specifically love the newer hue of green Lego that has been using that is that is on the Minecraft that they use for Minecraft glass. What is an album you can turn on and not skip at least one song? I don't know. I don't know. A lot of food. Not food, a lot of music stuff. Mine is Ride the Lightning by Metallica. What are your top four foods? Pizza, chicken tenders, chicken parmesan sandwich and ramen. Mine are lasagna, chili dogs, apple pie and noodles. What is your favorite Marvel movie or a movie in general that is your best of all time? I don't know. I like Pulp Fiction. Guess mine is Iron Man 1 and the Sonic OVA from the 1998 what the Fuck is Sonic Ova? I'm googling that Sonic Ova. Oh, this? Oh, it's a Sonic movie. Oh, okay. I'm gonna watch that shit today. What does OVA stand for? Oh, Original video animation. Okay, yeah, I'm gonna watch the song. I'm gonna watch the Sonic movie tonight. Not that. No, not. No, not that Sonic movie. That one's bullshit. I'm gonna watch the Japanese animated one from the 1990s. That sounds way better. All right. Oh, crap. I listen to every podcast while I build Lego Star wars ships and while playing Stardew Valley or Minecraft. Thanks, Evan. I hope you're enjoying. You sound like you're living a chill life. Let me keep going. Okay, this is from Matthew. Subject line, m's Magical Adventure to Florida. Okay, this is from Matthew. Hello, I was once an exterminator. My life was miserable. Those are three distinct sentences, each with their own period, which I really like. Hello, I was once an exterminator. My life was miserable. Then my girlfriend gave me the option to move to Florida with her. I wasn't trying to lose her, so I obliged. I got already the move. This guy. Love this. You guys remember in the very beginning when that lady sent an email with no periods? This guy has the opposite problem. He uses too many periods. He uses like only periods. This guy wrote, you could take half the pyramid. You could take pyramids. You could take half the periods of this that are in this guy's email and give them to the lady from the very beginning and it would balance it out. Alright. Anyway, I got all ready to move. I also told one of the office members that I watched killer clowns from outer space five times a week. Then I asked him for $500 to start a cane toad farm to then summon the clowns to Earth. Okay, I'm just gonna keep reading. I had a few of the other guys passively bring this up to him and express how weird it was. My goal was to have him think I had lost my mind because extermination is a terrible job and it will do that to you. I think if you're trying to convince people that you lost your mind by asking them for money to start a cane toad farm, you may very well have already lost your mind. He never fully bought into it. He normally hit me with, I don't want to hear about your damn toads. I think he caught on and would ask me about the clowns. What the fuck? What do you. I don't. What is this email? He was a cool guy. So with that I move. Okay, so that was something that had nothing to do with any of what the actual email is about. I. And with that Let me tell you, Florida is the worst place in the world. The people suck. The layout sucks, the driving sucks, Everything sucks. It took me a month to find a job. It's an hour away from my house and I hate it endlessly. It's a place called Moe's. Think Chipotle, but a little more depressing. Okay, I'm gonna jump in here. I know Moe's. Moe's big around Atlanta, so I guess it's a big southern thing. All right, look, I know you're complaining, but Moe's of. Okay, between Moe's, Chipotle and Qadoba, Moe's clear winner. First of all, it comes with. First of all, every order comes with chips. I. Some people are like. Some people who've never been to Moe's and have only been to Chipotle and Qdoba just heard me say that. And they're like impossible, not real. What do you mean it comes with chips? It comes. Every order at Moe's comes with chips. The quit this. The queso is a lot better at Moe's. And also the vibe is less pretentious. Like Chipotle is a very pretentious brand. And Moe's is a little bit more fast food vibes. Anyway, I think I work at a place called Moe's. It's Chipotle, but a little more pressing. The customers are terrible and I spend my days watching NBA and football on TV and sports betting because that's all Florida has been able to do for me. I am up on that. However, maybe soon I'll have my sports millions. It has breathed new life into my otherwise blah existence. I miss my friends and family and want to start never. And I want to start over. Never seeing Florida again. Don't live in Florida. Only bad things happen in Florida. Anyways, I hope you have a good day and get a good pizza soon. Thank you for the hours of entertainment you've provided us all. Okay, it sounds like you're going to leave Florida, which you absolutely should. I. Anyone who hates where they are this badly needs to leave. What's the deal? I guess. Yeah, this is one of those things where I wish I could. Well, actually, I'm very. I'm content with this just being an email, but if I were to be on the phone with this guy, I'd be curious what his girlfriend's deal is and why she can't move with them. Why, you know, she. They can't go live. And it's like, does she like Florida or do they both fucking hate Florida? I like Moe's. I'm sorry, it makes me like Moe's less that I'm thinking about you working there and hating it. It actually doesn't. I love Moe's a lot and I'm gonna keep going there. But. Yeah, I hope you leave Florida. Does any. I've only heard bad things about Florida. I mean, I've been to Florida billions of times, but most of the people who live there say that they don't like it. Florida is where old Jewish people usually go to retire. I don't know if I used to. When I was growing up, I thought it was a Jewish thing, but I actually think it's just like a general old person thing to retire to Florida. My dad just got back from Miami. He said he had a nice time. So, yeah, you know, it's fine that you don't like Florida, but my dad said he went and he had a good time. So I don't know. I don't know who to believe. You're my dad. You know what is makes me optimistic. You opened this by saying my life was miserable, so I'm gonna assume that maybe things have gotten better. Send us a follow up email when you leave Florida and see if anywhere else is better. Okay. I have to. I have the ability, I think, to read one more of these before I'm going to go smoke weed and stare at a wall for a very, very long time. All right, let's do. All right, let's do this. Let's do this. Let's do. You made me addicted to Panda Express. Okay, this is from Michael. Subject line. You made me addicted to Panda Express. Hello, Lyle. Been watching you for two years now. We actually spoke on the phone a few months ago about my Pepsi addiction and pro wrestling journey. I remember that. I think that. I think the name of that episode is called the Pepsi Quest. Happy to say I no longer drink Pepsi and the wrestling has been going very well. Wait, I thought that you were. Hold on. I thought that the Pepsi Quest was a quest to drink more Pepsi, which is probably bad because Pepsi will kill you. I say that as someone who drinks a lot of Pepsi. A few months. You guys ever seen that clip of Britney Spears talking about Pepsi? It makes the word Pepsi fun. Fun to say. Okay, a few months ago, you released an episode where you discussed Panda Express with someone, which made me curious because I've never tried it before. Long story short, I now get the double orange chicken plus fried rice plate three to four times a week. And I hold you partially responsible. What should I do? What should you do, like. Are you trying to quit? What you should do? What you should do is you should email Panda Express and tell them that they should give me money to talk about them on. On my various platforms or they don't even have to give me money. If they just gave me, like a gold card that I could just. You. I actually would do an advertisement for Panda Express just for, like a golden panda card or something like that. What? You. What should you do? Why would you get double orange chicken? Michael, do this. Why would you get double orange chicken? Why would you. The whole point of getting two proteins or two entrees, I think. Yeah. The whole point of getting two entrees is that you can mix it up a little bit. Oh, why would you go double orange chicken? Go orange chicken? Here's what I usually do. I go orange chicken teriyaki chicken. But sometimes I mix it up, sometimes I get the honey nut glazed shrimp, and that's pretty good, too. So I would suggest you try a few more of those entrees. I sound like I'm doing an advertisement for Panda Express, but this is my genuine advice to this man, is to try the Honey nut glazed chicken. It won't change your life. It won't even. It's not even good for you. It's not healthy. It won't. It's. It's got protein, I guess. Yeah. I don't have any advice for how you can make your life better, but you. You are. You said that you don't drink Pepsi and that wrestling is going well, so maybe you don't need your life to be better. Maybe your life's good as it is. Do you have any advice for me on how to stop drinking Pepsi? All right, I think that's it. I think that's the end of this podcast. Thank you all for listening. Thank you all for being here. This. I felt good about this one. I felt good about this one. This. This was powered by Diet Mountain Dew. I genuinely feel as though if I didn't have caffeine coursing through my veins, I wouldn't be able to speak the way I'm speaking right now. That's probably a problem. I really don't like giving advice. I like. Well, I like reading these emails and it's fun to express myself, but sometimes when I give advice, I'm like, I don't know about that, but I don't know. People say people have. The fact that people still listen to this show and that they enjoy it, I guess, is indicative of me that my advice has not done significant harm or damage to society. Which I guess is all one can hope for when one gives advice. Anything else? Oh, a lot of. Okay, I guess I'll just. A lot of people ask how they can call into the show. And here's the thing. I don't have a stream schedule anymore. I stopped having a stream schedule long ago because. Because I didn't want to. But I. You. I stream at least twice a week at random times. I'm. I usually do it at, like in the mornings. So if you want to call into the podcast, go to Twitch TV, LyleForever and hit follow. And I may or may not go. And then you get like a notification when I'm live. Anything else? Give the podcast a good review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Tell your friends about it. Thanks for listening. Thank you again for everyone who came out to my live show tour. That was fun. I'm trying to figure out what to do next with my life. If anyone had. If anyone has suggestions for things I should do with my life, I'm all ears. I'll do. I'm. I'm a yes man. So if anyone has suggestions for anything I should do with my life, go. Let. Let me know. Reach out on whatever. Yeah, I was at a Super Smash Brothers melee tournament. Shout out to the Nouns Vatational. I went to the Nouns Vatational yesterday and I was like, there was like, top players walking around and I wanted to talk to some of them and I got a little nervous. I got a little nervous. I was like, I don't want to bother them, you know? And it's kind of funny. I like not to be like a douchebag, but, like, it's funny because when I do my live shows and, like, people are like. When I meet people, like, as the gecko, like, I can tell, I guess that they're, like, a little bit nervous to meet me. And I'm like, I'm just a fucking douchebag. Like, I don't. I don't get it. And then it's cool to kind of be on the other end of that being like, oh, this guy who's really good at playing Martha in Super Smash Bros. I'm, like, kind of nervous to go talk to him, you know, I felt. I felt humbled by that. It was good. It was good. Anyway. All right, that's it. I have no more words to say. Thank you. Continue to fold laundry. Continue to do stuff. Okay. Go listen to some other podcast or do something else or talk to someone. Bye. Hello, folks. It's Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But get this, I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right, an entire extra hour of the podcast that you can listen to by becoming a premium member of Therapy gecko over at therapygecko.supercast.com Supercast subscribers get access to bonus episodes. They get a completely ad free podcast feed of the regular show. They get recordings from my live shows members only streams and they help support my ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's a clip from this week's members only bonus episode.
- [96:40]
Lyle
Just got stopped couchsurfing after six years of doing so. So I'm just trying to kind of move on with my life after being in survival mode for so long.
- [96:51]
Email Sender
Over the course of these six years, what do you think was the biggest hurdle for you to find a stable situation?
- [97:03]
Lyle
A lot of getting kicked out after six months. Usually I don't. I never really stayed anywhere for six months. It's kind of hard. They don't want to house people with like housing vouchers. There's like a lot of stipulations because people don't like poor people, landlords at least.
- [97:23]
Email Sender
What's next for you in London, Finn?
- [97:26]
Lyle
I do have really big dreams.
- [97:29]
Email Sender
If you want to hear this full conversation, you can sign up to become a premium member@therapygecko.supercast.com or find the link in the episode description. That's therapygecko.supercast.com Alright, I have nothing else to say.
- [98:05]
Lyle
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- [99:01]
John Mittelkoff
This is John Mittelkoff from Three and out with John Mittelkoff, you know what my friends at Travis Matthew have done? They've taken leisure wear to the next level. I didn't even know they made these. These slide slip hoodies. I don't have an undershirt on. You just wear it over. You can wear it around the house. As a podcaster, I wear these things every day. I told them, send me about 10 more, watch football for a living. Will be on my couch in this thing all day long. Obviously, they're hats. No, hats fit better. They also sent me a pair of jeans. These legacy featherweight jeans got a little stretch in them. You know, the wintertime. We might put on a few extra around the holidays. How good do these look? I was even playing golf with a buddy the other day. He's like, I love their jeans. I'm like, yeah, they're the best. And then these daily slip shoes, wear them with shorts, wear them with jeans. Wear them to work, wear them to a date, wear them just hanging out. Cannot recommend their stuff enough. So do yourself a favor and hit up travismathew.com. all new customers get 20% off their first order. Again, that's travismathew.com you'll thank me later.