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- [00:00]
Lyle
This is an iHeart podcast.
- [00:02]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Guaranteed Human support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors llc. SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures available at public.com disclosures.
- [01:06]
Therapy Gecko (Lyle's persona or guest)
At Lowe's get up to 35% off select major appliances plus members get free delivery, install and more when you spend $2,500 on select major appliances Lowe's we help you save valid through 225 while supplies last.
- [01:21]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Selection varies by location. Excludes Massachusetts, Maryland, Wisconsin, New Jersey, Florida loyalty program. Subject to terms and conditions. Visit lowe's.com terms for details subject to change.
- [01:31]
Therapy Gecko (Lyle's persona or guest)
Visit your nearby Lowe's on Colorado street in Kennewick.
- [01:36]
Lyle
Hey, this is US Olympic gold medalist.
- [01:38]
Therapy Gecko (Lyle's persona or guest)
Tara Davis Woodhull and I'm US Paralympic gold medalist Hunter Woodhull.
- [01:41]
Lyle
As athletes, our lives are about having.
- [01:43]
Therapy Gecko (Lyle's persona or guest)
A clear path and a team that you can absolutely trust.
- [01:46]
Lyle
So when it came to getting the.
- [01:48]
Therapy Gecko (Lyle's persona or guest)
Best mortgage, we chose PennyMac.
- [01:50]
Lyle
PennyMac is proud to be the official mortgage provider of Team USA and you.
- [01:54]
Therapy Gecko (Lyle's persona or guest)
Learn more at pennymac.com PennyMac Loan Services, LLC equal housing lender NMLS ID35953 licensed by the Department of Financial Protection and Innovation under the California Residential Mortgage Lending Act. Conditions and restrictions may apply. Friends, Romans, countrymen, welcome to Geck Mail. For those who don't know, Gekmail is a version of this podcast where instead of talking to callers on the phone and having a dialogue as in a conversation between two people, Gekmail is where I read emails and have a Monologue with myself, like an insane person. And it's fun and I just get to make words come out of my mouth and you listen to them and, I don't know, you can pay attention or you can just put this on in the background while you're doing something else. I won't bother you, I won't ask you what you're doing unless you want me to. But that would involve, like, making a clone of myself that can come out of the TV or the phone or the computer, wherever this is on, and be with you. I think that's where we're heading as a society, is you're going to be able to make an AI version of your. I don't want to talk about that, Stu. It freaks me out. Freaks me out. New subject. I'm sick, so that's good. And this is boring. I'm going to stop being boring and I'm going to get into some emails. Let's start with this one. It says trauma, mommy issues, and a man who won't move out. Dear Therapy Gecko, please keep me anonymous. Call me Nigella. I'm writing to you at a bit of a loss. I'm conflicted, confused, and conscious of wasting time for context. I split up with my partner of 10 years last year. After years of physical and emotional abuse, I plucked up the courage to walk away. It took every fiber of strength out of me and left me broken. Not because I was mourning his loss, but because I had to mend every shard of glass he left in me. Every harsh word still lingers, every thump still stings, and every memory fills me with pain. Anyway, I had a good few dates shout out to Hank for taking me out last Valentine's Day. What a guy. Wait, I. Hold on. Are we talking about fucking Hank from the podcast? Please respond to this and wait. Oh my God, you're talking about Hank from the podcast. Wait, you went out on a date with Hank from the podcast? What the fuck? The fart guy. The Hank is the name of the fart fetish guy. You guys know I don't remember the names of a lot of people. I remember stories, I just don't remember names. Hank. I remember because he was such a character. A British beautiful. Oh, wait, this is from a UK email. Okay, this person went on a date with our boy Hank, the fart fetish guy from a few episodes ago. Wait, did you guys meet from the podcast? What the fuck? Okay, Nigella, hold on. I'm sorry, Nigella, I want to finish reading the rest of your email. And I will. But let me know if you met because of the podcast or what the hell happened? I'm so curious. Holy shit. Okay, all right. One second. All right, let's see here. Where was I? Okay, shout out to Hank for taking me out last Valentine's Day. What a guy. I met a genuinely lovely man, and we've been together for under a year. He's got a heart of gold and is so kind and honest with me. He's far too attached to his mother, who is, quite frankly, questionable. But we can come back to this. He stuck with me when said ex partner assaulted me. He stuck by my flashbacks, and he's kind to me in ways I haven't seen before. However, I'm not sure how I feel. I'm someone used to turmoil and stress, so I currently feel stagnant. He doesn't want to move out of his mom's house for two years. Parentheses, he's well over 30. I'm not saying I'm intelligent, but we're definitely on two different playing fields. I very much want to pursue a doctorate, be a researcher, and keep progressing in life. He's happy with his job, in no rush to move out, and although he tries to listen, he doesn't really understand what I'm going through. His mother said to him, I asked for it because I went in my ex partner's house willingly, and he repeated those words back to me. I just have this gut feeling something isn't sitting right, and I can't pinpoint what. Do I feel stagnant in my career? Am I concerned about the direction of my relationship, or do I need to sit with this normality, or should I just go fart on Hank? You should totally just go fart on Hank. I can't believe you went out with Hank. Dude, please let me know if you guys met from the. I mean, it says that you went out with him last Valentine's Day, which is way before we did the episode, so I'm gonna guess you didn't meet him through the podcast. But, dude, let me know what's up with you and Hank. That's so crazy. I'm okay. I feel okay. I just know something isn't right. Any advice is truly welcome. Best wishes, Nigella. Okay, let me read this back to you. I met a genuinely lovely man. We've been together for under a year. He have a. He has a heart of gold and is so kind and honest with me. He's far too attached to his mother, who is, quite frankly, questionable. Oh, Nigella. Nigella. Nigella. Oh, Nigella. Okay, sometimes I am neutral, Gecko man. But this time I am, I am feeling as though I have a strong opinion about Nigella's situation. So, Nigella, Nigella, you're a kind soul. You've been through a lot of, in the past 10 years. And so I think because you've been through, it would make sense to me that because you've been through a bunch of shit in the last 10 years and because you, you had a shitty ex boyfriend, it seems like your standards are naturally lower because you've spent so much time with like this, this bad guy. And so it would make sense to me, you said that you broke up with the other guy last year and you've been dating this guy for under a year. So it seems like you, you moved on and got into a new relationship fairly fast. And it would make sense to me that as you were going, doing your thing, dating or whatever, it would make sense to me if you just met a dude who was nice and sweet and you were like, oh my God, I can be in a relationship with a nice, sweet man. Holy shit. Yes, of course, of course. Let's do this. Why would I not do this? He's a nice, sweet man. And I think that this guy could very well be a nice, sweet man. But he doesn't sound like he has his shit together. No shade to him. We're all trying get our shit together out in this crazy world, but you're fucking pursuing a doctorate. You want to be a researcher, you want to keep going in life, you want to pursue goals. We all know that there's, and there's no right or wrong to this. There's some people who are very complacent with the life that they live, and there's some people who want to keep progressing and keep going and keep doing things. And, you know, I, I used to think that I wanted to be with someone who had an equal amount of ambition as me. And I don't know, I think it's okay sometimes if you have a little bit, if you have a lot of ambition, sometimes it's okay if your partner is a bit more of a cheerleader than a co pilot. My friend, I don't know if my friend was quoting someone, but my friend told me about that concept of the cheerleader versus the co pilot. And if, you know, if you're okay having just a partner who's a cheerleader and as you're pursuing your doctorate and being a researcher, he's kind of supporting you as the main Protagonist, one could say, and he's just kind of chilling, being a sweet boy, doing his thing. But the way that you're talking about this, it sounds like you're. That's not cool with you. And then also like his mom saying this crazy shit to him and then repeating it back to you and then him having this like, dude, here's the thing. If you're over 30 years old and you're like, it's good to have a good relationship with your parents, but if your girlfriend would describe you as too attached to your mother, that, That's a red flag. That's an undeniable red flag. Living with your parents over the age of 30. No, listen, again, I tr. I would, I would never, ever, ever throw shade to somebody living with their parents over 30. I really wouldn't. I swear on my life. But it sounds like that's not the kind of person that you feel aligned with, especially considering he seems not only like, it'd be one thing if he was like, trying really fucking hard to get out of there, but saying that he's not in a rush and he's kind of just okay with like, living with his mom and not doing anything. You know, God bless him if that's the life he wants to live, but doesn't sound like that the life that you want to live. So, yeah, like, this guy seems like he's nice, but you want more for yourself and that's okay. I mean, Jesus Christ, man. Going from, going from like, well, not only having an. Even if your partner, like, wasn't abusive, right? Even if it was just a 10 year relationship, like, still, dude, you got to take like, you gotta take a sec. It sounds like you didn't take a second. If I were you, I'd take a second. After 10 years, you know, take a second, go fart on Hank, go, you know, fucking date a bunch of fucking dudes, or don't, or date yourself, but like, you don't have to be with this guy just because he's nice. Um, it's nice of him to like, just because this guy is nice and listens to you. You should want a guy who's nice and listens to you, but that, that's not like enough on its own. And that's what you're saying in this email. So that's my ponder for you. Nigella. Dude, how did you meet Hank? Please respond. Please respond in this thread if you hear this. Okay, this is from Anthony. My speech impediment is ruining my life. Hello, Geck. I have Been watching you for about four years now and have always wanted to call in but could never build up the courage to do so because I stutter severely. I have had said stutter since I was a little kid. My family's told me that it is most likely caused from childhood trauma when I used to live with my mom. I've gone to doctors and speech therapists in the past, but none have helped. And they always said it'll go away when I get older, but it clearly hasn't. Now that I'm 20, I feel like it is ruining my life. I avoid talking to people due to the fear of being perceived as weird because I got bullied a lot in high school. I have no friends, I've never been in a relationship, I rarely talk to my own family and my self confidence is at an all time low now. All isn't bad. I have a job and I've been able to save up some money living with my grandma, hoping to get a place of my own soon. And have been into the gym, weightlifting. Hell yeah. Which I very much enjoy doing. But I know I can't keep living my life like this. Being a mute with no social life or skills. And it haunts me. I often cry a lot, wishing I was normal, but that just isn't the case and I don't know if it ever will be. I'm not looking for advice. I just wanted to get this off my chest. Love your show man. Keep gecking Anthony. You're not looking for advice but I'm going to ponder for a second, I'm going to ponder with you because actually to be honest with you, I read this email last night just like coming home from on the train and I was, I was, I was touched by it. I was really trying to fucking think about this because this isn't related to you at all. I know that not everyone with a stutter is the same, but there's a comedian, his name is Donnie Sangstack. We did comedy together in Baltimore back when I was fucking 16 years old and handsome dude, good comedian. Fucking. I remember looking at his Facebook catching up. He opened for me again in Nashville at some point, like fuck. 10 years later. And I remember going to his Facebook and it's like he graduated from UMD and got a girlfriend and like did all this. He's living a great life. So you know, I'm a shout out. Another one of my friends, Benny Feldman, he's a comedian, he has, he has Tourette's, he's doing great. He's living A pretty normal life. He's, you know, dating girls and hanging out and living life. I'm not saying you need to get into stand up comedy, but I guess I just bring those people up because like, I want you to know that there are plenty of examples of people out there who have speech impediments of some kind. And they, they live normal life and they have, they have friends and they get into relationships and they date and they do all these things. So it obviously. So listen, obviously the speech impediment is not fucking helping, of course, but it sounds like it's like a general self confidence issue. And when you like already have that self confidence issue and then the speech impediment on top of it, it's like a cocktail for, for a lot of fuckery. So. So do me a favor and I'm gonna like, I've talked about this before and I really do believe in it. Like, I don't believe in like manifestation in like a woo woo sense. Like I don't believe in manifest. I don't believe that you like send signals out to like a force of the universe outside of yourself. I think that's kind of. But I do believe in manifestation in the sense that like what you tell yourself about yourself like logically makes sense that that affects your actions and what you do and your actions and what you do. It logically makes sense that they affect your genuine external reality. So I do believe in manifestation. You can logically say that the. What you like write about yourself mentally becomes your external reality. I believe that in some sense. So you, you need to develop some form of belief that you, you can despite your life, have some semblance of, of a social life that you're proud of, right? Because if you go around thinking like oh fuck, everyone's gonna think I'm fucking weird. Everyone is gonna think I'm fuckin annoying this and that. The other thing. And by the way, brother, it's an I, dude, it's an uphill battle. Like that's what actually, that's what I want you to actually, Anthony, that's what I want you to know, that's what I really fucking want you to know is that it's not the, it's probably not the speech impediment itself. I mean I'm sure it with you a lot, but it sounds like your mom was shitty and then you got bullied a lot. And it just sounds like you've had like all these like previous experiences with people being like assholes to you that you've internalized these other people's perceptions of you to be your narrative truth. And so you walk around thinking that everyone is, like, annoyed with you or, like, thinks you're weird because you have a speech impediment. Like, so it's so. So. Listen, I'm not a fucking doctor. I can't tell you if you can cure your speech impediment. But I do believe over time, what you can cure is. Is this narrative that you have built up in your head about who you are and how other people perceive you, and so that can be cured. How? I don't know. Do I believe in faking it till you make it? I just. I don't know. I don't know, like, how you neurologically do this, but you do have to believe that you can have a good life. Also, dude, I also, like. I'm not even, like, saying this to, like, gas you up, but, like, you're. You're fucking awesome, dude. Like, you're like, okay, for example, the previous emailer talked about a guy who. And no shade to him. But also, whatever. Like, the previous emailer talked about a dude living in his mom's house over the age of 30 and not really giving a fuck about whether or not he's getting out of there, right? Okay, Compared to you, bro, you're 10 years younger, and you're trying actively to save up money to get your own place so you don't have to live with your grandma. Like, you have. And. And you're doing that, and you're lifting weights. You're trying to improve yourself. Like, Anthony, like, you just. You have the sauce, Anthony. You have the sauce. I can tell from this email that you have the sauce, dude, you have the sauce. You have the sauce. Anthony, you're so close. Okay, so you're living with your mom or a grandma. You're living with your grandma, and you're like, oh, this kind of sucks, living with my grandma. You know, I'm 20. I'm. I have a goal to save up money to get my own place. You're looking at your body. You're like, oh, fuck, I'm too skinny. I'm too fat. Whatever. Okay? I got a goal. I'm gonna go to the gym, try to improve so the way I want. So, like, you should look at your own brain in the same way where, like, you look at your brain and you're like, fuck. I have this terrible image of myself. It's not my fault. Like, I just. Fucking. The external world just gave me these, like, difficult circumstances and I'm not. Again, I'm not saying you can, like, cure yourself of the speech impediment, but you just, you just gotta shift your narrative around. Like, you're doing a lot already to like, prove to yourself that you can make your own active changes in your life by trying to save money and trying to go to the gym. And so just, just keep that train going, dude. Just keep that train going. And eventually, if you just keep trying, you'll find yourself in some version of life that you like. I just believe that. I don't think you should, I don't think you should cry wishing that you're normal, man. I mean, I get it. It's really painful. I get it. I get it. Like, the pain of like, being like, fuck, I wish I didn't have to fucking deal with this. Like, that sucks. Like, I get like, like it's a form of grief when you're crying like that. I get it. But there, but there's life beyond grief, you know what I mean? Like, there's a, there's a life for you beyond this grief. You just have to, like, believe that yourself, you know? I don't know if any of that was helpful, but that's my, that's my ponder on you, Anthony, bro. The other guy's like 30 something and he's not even trying. The other guy's 30 something, he's not even trying. That's like, if you're trying to get out of your, your own place and all that. If you're trying to have your own life and you're just getting beat down by the economy in the world, like, respect to you, but like, homie's not even trying. You're trying, Anthony. Just don't get. I, I, man, I hate, I hate saying this where, because I'm, I'm not like a motivational speaker. I don't want to be. I'm not, it's not what I try to be. I don't like that. But I do fucking believe in, I strongly do believe in, like, just don't give up, you know? Like, I really do believe that, dude, you're too young to give up. Like, it's okay if you gotta cry wishing that you didn't have the speech impediment. Like, do that. Like, do your grief, dude. But like, there's just, just, just, just believe that there is life beyond your grief, dude. So that's, that's, that's what I got. Props to you, Anthony. Okay. Oh, what the shit? All right. This is from Christopher. Subject line Our friend was murdered, and the killer is still out there. All right, Geck mail. Geck mail has gotten a little too serious. All right, all right, all right. Hey, geck. In 2024, a young man in my town of Gaylord, Michigan. This absolutely better be a real email. Hold on. Gaylord, Michigan. Let me look this up. All right, it's real. All right. In 2024, a young man in my town of Gaylord, Michigan, was shot and killed in his home. His name is Dean Pagant. The local police have done nothing to find his killer. I know this is a bit out of your wheelhouse, but I'm hoping you can read this on the show in hopes that someone who knows something might come forward and help bring closure to his family and our community. There have been protests at the courthouse, all sorts of social media posting, but no leads yet. I know it's a long shot, but we don't want to give up. I'll link a news story below so you know I'm not fucking with you. Okay. He sent me a link. The murder of Dean Pagant, found shot and killed in his home in 2024. Wow. Holy. Well, yeah, I'm sorry, man. That's fucked up. I mean, I don't. I. If. I have no idea. All right. Yeah. All right. If you have any information about who may have killed Dean, contact Michigan State Police at 989-732-2778. I don't know if I. I hope. I hope. Hey, listen, I'm so. I'm. I'm really sorry to hear that, Christopher. That's fucking sucks. I. I hope. I hope. I hope this can help in. In. In some way, shape or form. I appreciate you telling me about it, and I don't think you're fucking with me. When I saw Gaylord, Maryland, I thought of Gaylord, Michigan. I did think a little bit that you were fucking with me, but this. No, this is. This is legit, dude. Wait, what's going. What's going on in Gaylord, Michigan? Wait, it looks kind of cool. Hold on. Sorry. I know this has nothing to do with the email, but. Yo, the Call of the Wild Museum. That looks awesome. Wait, why does Gaylord, Michigan look like a sick place? What else we. Okay. Things to do in Gaylord, Michigan. Ooh, the Gaylord City Elk Park. You can go there and you can look at. You can observe elks. That's kind of exciting. Oh, look at all these elks. Wait, these are the most quaint town I've ever seen. I've ever seen Aspen Park. What's the weather like in Gaylord right now? Weather Gaylord, Michigan 24 degrees. That's still pretty cold. It's not as cold as New York, I don't think. Oh no, it's colder than New York. Never mind. Sorry. Okay, let's see. Thank you Christopher.
- [29:00]
Lyle
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- [30:01]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
For the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index. With AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors llc. SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures available@public.com disclosures you've never been.
- [31:02]
Lyle
One to settle, stand down or stand still. You're a lifelong learner Energized by excellence. There's a fire inside you you can't ignore. You've got competition to outrun, momentum to build on, and your own high standards to meet. Stop now. Not a chance. At Capella University, we help you catch what you're chasing because you've always had the drive. Now go earn the degree. Capella University. What can't you do? Visit Capella. Edu to learn more.
- [31:32]
Therapy Gecko (Lyle's persona or guest)
This is from Lucy. My girlfriend thinks I'm cringe and I think she is judgmental. Hey Geck, what's up? I'm writing today because my girlfriend is super judgmental and it's beginning to weigh on me. I pride myself on being a very open minded individual and I try to be receptive and open to the world around me. Just because I don't understand or I dislike something doesn't mean it's bad. And I just let other people live. Who cares? It's their life, not mine. My girlfriend and I started going out. We're both girls, btw. She's very chronically online and she's constantly sticking her nose up at anyone who isn't into the most niche subcultures ever. She finds all sorts of things to judge people about and it's beginning to make me feel like I can't share any of my interests or joys with her. I feel like I have to hide so much of myself. She knows she's judgmental. She. And she owns it. It just sucks because the core of my values and my being is to have an open mind and heart and she's very much the opposite. I'm very. I'm not very online, so maybe I am cringe and I just don't know it. But also, who fucking cares? I don't know. Any advice is appreciated. P.S. we talked at your live show in Albany. I am the one who talked about witchcraft and cursing someone by pooping in a jar. I know exactly who you are. I do not remember the details of that story, but I absolutely remember somebody in Albany talking about witchcraft and cursing people by pooping in a jar. What is up? How's it going? Okay. You know, keeping on the theme of not being neutral. Gecko. Lucy, I think your girlfriend sucks. I think your girlfriend sucks. I have a very clear idea in my mind of what your girlfriend is like and I think she sucks. I don't really say. I don't like saying that. I don't. I don't like saying that about people, but I think your girlfriend fucking sucks, dude. That's the thing is like be. That's what being chronically online teaches you to do. We all know this. That's what being online teaches you to do. Because, and I'm going to explain, like, the most viral content is content that gathers engagement. And the thing that causes people to engage the most are things that beckon people to comment. Things like, oh, this person sucks, this person's an idiot. Oh, this person's cringe, this person's lame, this and that and the other thing. So when you're chronically online, you're just being exposed to things that were like engineered to make you more judgmental. I mean, your girlfriend's a victim of the Internet, but yeah, I mean, she sounds like she sucks if that's your thing. And I remember meeting you a little bit and I remember the kind of person that you are who talks about witchcraft and cursing people by, by pooping in jars. So I, I'm not shocked that being open minded is a core value of you. So, yeah, you're not gonna be able to share anything with this person. You're not gonna feel safe being around them. You're, you're, if you're spending a whole lot of time with this person, she's gonna poison your world view. You're gonna start feeling like it's normal to judge everything and criticize everything. And I, God, I hate people who are judgmental. Like the way you said, like, she knows she's judgmental and she owns it. I hate when people are like that. It's really like not something to take a lot of pride in, you know what I mean? Just being like, I'm close minded about the world and I know everything and I, and I double down on that. That just is so lame. Yeah, your girlfriend sucks, man. Should you break up with her? I mean, I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but like, this is not gonna last for that long, right? You're just gonna feel shitty all the time. Why do you, I mean, look, this is the point of the email, so you didn't include anything about why you actually like this girl. But judging from the email, it. I don't know. I don't know. Why do you like this person? Like what it, what is, what's the balancing act? Because you don't seem like you feel very safe around her. You don't seem like you can like. I don't know. One of the things that I really makes me really fall in love with a person is like, I feel like I can tell them anything. I feel like I can be whatever version of myself that I am around them, I feel like they're just safe to talk to and to be around and to, you know, if I'm like, I have a litmus test on, like, a date or something like that. Like, if I'm in New York and there's just, like, a. Like, I. Like. I like when you. I don't know, when you're walking around the city, there's, like, stuff happening always, you know, and sometimes there'll be, like, a building, and it's got a light on, and there's some noise coming through it. Not in, like, a weird alleyway, but in, like, oh, there's something going on in this place kind of way. Like, if I'm gonna walk with someone and I go, you want to see what's going on in this thing? If they go, the litmus test. This is not a practical litmus test. This is a mental litmus test. But I want somebody who. If we're walking by something, we'll go like, yeah, let's go check it out. Let's see what that is. I don't want someone who's like, why would we do that? Oh, I don't know. It seems like there's a lot of, like, hipster, like, weirdo people in there. Mm. I don't know. This place seems like it attracts, like, you know, people who are, like, trying to be cool, you know? I don't want to go in there like, oh, my God, that's a nightmare. Holy fucking shit. That sounds awful. Anyway, that's my. That's my opinion. That's my opinion on that. Look at this. I'm not very online, so maybe I am cringe, and I don't know. It. No. Break out with this girl. This sucks, dude. She's slowly convincing you that you. This girl sucks. And she's slowly convincing you that you suck. Get out of there before you've convinced yourself that you suck. You're a fucking witch, and you curse people by pooping in jars. You're insane. You're a. You're. You're. You're. You're so much. You're so much. Lucy. Go be everything that you are. Go be everything that you are. Go meet another insane person, and then both of you can be the most anything either of you have ever been together. It'll be insane. Yeah. Please break up with this girl. This girl sucks. All right, let's keep going. All right, this is from Ben. Subject line. I'm trapped in my own body and I let opportunities pass by me. Hey, Lyle. A few days ago, I was on a bus. I was happy and at peace. A girl came on and I thought she was really pretty but thought nothing of it. So I kept listening to my podcast and looking out the window. Then I subconsciously looked back at her and saw her looking at me and I smiled at her. A few bus stops later, the guy next to me stood up and left. So she came over and sat next to me. I was then suddenly overwhelmed with emotions and I felt like I became a statue. My podcast was still on, but I couldn't hear it. And I kept looking out the window, but I couldn't see. Suddenly I was fixated on every movement and breath I made. A part of me wanted to say something to her, and another part of me tried convincing me that I don't actually want to talk to her because it would be too uncomfortable for me and that it wasn't worth the effort. So I said nothing, went home, and went on with my day. But everything I did just felt dull. So now I'm just mad at myself that I didn't say anything. I'm not mad at myself because I didn't get to know her. I'm mad at myself because I didn't even try. This isn't the first time something like that has happened and I know it won't be the last. And I hate myself for it. Whoa, brother. Okay, hold on. And every time I tell myself things will be different, I feel like I can't change. But other than that, everything in my life is going well. I'm more disciplined and hard working than I ever thought I could be. Everything is getting better and better by day, which I didn't even think was possible. And I've become someone I would have looked up to as a kid and I'm proud of myself. Also, if this gets on the podcast, and even if it doesn't and I see her again, I will try to say hi or something. Also, sorry if this was hard to read. English is my second language and I can barely speak or write in my main language. Okay, I have a lot of thoughts. One is that stop hating yours. Just stop hating yourself. By the way, Ben, I, I, I've been in this situation before. I've been in this situation before a lot where like I was at a party or I was at a cafe or I was at a whatever the thing and I saw someone that I wanted to talk to and I convinced myself about billion reasons to not talk to them because it why I I. And I convinced myself reasons not Just reasons not to talk to them. But no, Ben, I've been in this situation a billion times. I've convinced myself that I don't even want to because I don't want to deal with this uncomfortable thing of, like, I want to do something, but I'm too nervous to. And. Oh, you know, shout out. My friend David Feinberg. He is a comedian. He opened for me when I was in Europe a year ago. If you went to any of those shows, you saw him. So one time. So Feinberg was opening for me in Berlin, and he went to the venue a little early and it was closed, and he was gonna, like, ring the doorbell. But he got kind of nervous, and then he just, like, like, walked away. And he was like, I don't know if I should ring the doorbell. I don't know if they're gonna get, like, all weird, like, I'm here before you know you are, and all stuff like that. And then he's walking, and then he goes, wait, what? Who gives a fucking shit? Who cares? I'm fucking. I'm gonna go and ring the doorbell. And then he. He goes and he rings the doorbell. They let him in. I tell. That's. I tell that little thing because he and I have. Like. He told me that story. And so now I. I. There's a thing. So now we refer to it as ringing the doorbell. You know, like, you have a thing that you kind of feel like you want to do, but you're kind of like, I don't know if I should do it, because what if it's weird? And it's like, just ring the fucking doorbell. Just ring the doorbell. Sometimes you just gotta ring the doorbell. I've had many a moment where I've wanted to ring the doorbell, and I convince myself, oh, I'll do it next time. Oh, I'll do it. When I feel more confident, I'll do it in this situation, that situation. And then, you know. Yeah, you kind of beat. You beat yourself up about it. So don't beat yourself up about it. But, you know, try to live by the motto to always ring the doorbell. And by the way, let me. Here's another. Also, like, especially, like, on the subject of, like, talking to, like, a girl that you think is pretty in public, what you should do is, like, if you're in a situation like that, right? Like, this girl, like, I don't know if she smiled at you. She was looking at you, and you smiled at her. Here's what you do, okay? This is very classic. If there is something about her that, that you can, like, that's not like, you know, don't be like, hey, you're pretty. Like, if she's, like, reading a book or something, on her shirt, looks cool. Like, just ask a question about. Like, you can just ask like, a question about it, and then you can tell immediately from, like, body language, from how she responds, whatever, if she is open to talking. And if she is, maybe ask another question. And then if she starts asking you questions back, you're. You're in the clear. You can keep having a conversation. If you notice that she is not asking you questions back, then you'd be like, all right. And you put your headphones back on. And then you'd be like, all right. You know, tried to interact with another human being. You know, I was respectful. I was, you know, I gave it a shot. Could have worked out. But, you know, you'll feel good. You'll feel like, okay. I attempted to connect with this person that I wanted to connect with, and it didn't work out. But you feel good. You put, you're putting in the reps of training yourself to become the kind of person that rings the doorbell. So, you know, I've been in plenty of situations like that. I'm. I, I. You're not, it's not something to be ashamed of, but, you know, just try to next. Next time, just, like, don't, because you're. Again, you're putting too much pressure on it. You know, like, just say something. Just say a. Whatever thing. Forget about the be people. People fixate too much about how to begin conversations, but it doesn't matter. The first thing you say to a person that you want to talk to doesn't matter. It's the middle of the conversation. That's the easy part. The beginnings and endings of conversations are really hard. Like, I don't know how to start talking to someone, and then there's a lot of times I don't know how to stop talking to someone after I have been talking to them already, you know, oh, my. Sometimes I'll be, like, talking to someone in line at something, and they'll be saying stuff to me, and I'll be chatting with them, and I'm like, when should I stop talking? Do you get what I'm saying? Like, this guy was behind me in line the other day, Hershey's chocolate thing bag. And he started talking to me, and I was like, oh, where'd you get. What'd you get at Hershey's World? And he was like, oh, I got a Shirt. I was like, oh, cool. Then he started, and then I was just like, when do it? When we still have to stand next to each other for the duration of the time that we're in line for this thing. So do we talk? Are we supposed to talk the entire time? Are we supposed to, like, what's. What's appropriate? I was on the subway. A guy. I was playing my Nintendo Switch. This guy looks at me. I can tell he wants to. I can tell he's, like, looking at my Nintendo. And I'm like, all right. I can tell he wants to talk to me. So I took my headphones off, and he immediately goes, is that. What is that? And I'm like, it's the Nintendo. He's like, oh, cool, man. I used to play fucking Space Invaders and stuff. And I like, oh, cool, man. Like, do you. What else do you play? Assassin's Creed. It's like, yeah, I love Assassin's Creed. Yeah, cool, man. Whatever. You know, we're talking immediately in my head, I'm like, fuck. How long? Nice guy. But immediately in my head, I'm like, when does this. When am I supposed to end this conversation? Thank God he was. That he was the next stop, because if he was multiple stops, I would have just felt awkward just standing next to him. Anyway, this. I don't know why I got on this tangent, but, yeah, next time, ring the doorbell, just ask a question, make a statement, and then, like, be perceptive as to whether or not the person wants to continue talking to you. And, you know, try to build that confidence of. Of. Of. Try to build that confidence of, A, your own ability to be perceptive and tell whether or not somebody actually wants to talk to you, and then, B, your ability to ring the doorbell. Good luck, Benjamin. All right, let's keep going here. This one is fighting a sickness. Sickness. Fighting a sickness. Hey, Lyle, I love your show. I've been listening to it on and off for a couple months now. I have a crazy, busy life between work, volunteering in my community. I've been married for 13 years, and now my wife and I carry on a relationship with another married couple in a sort of polyamorous shenanigan. I've been having a hard time juggling the polyamory stuff. The other married couple are quirky, much like my wife and I, so there's always some sort of dispute. I'm the only man in the relationship, which is complicated. It usually means that I don't hang out with them as much as they hang out in general because there's a lot of anger and frustration towards men from someone in the group. Wait, so you're. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You're telling me. You're telling me that you're in a polyamorous swinger's relationship with a lesbian couple? That's what you're telling me right now? Okay, okay, okay, okay. I'm the only man in the relationship, which is complicated. It means I don't hang out with them as much as they hang out in general because there's a lot of anger and frustration towards men from someone in the group. My wife does her best to keep everyone together and happy and stable, and sometimes I feel like the person who is fucking things up for everyone. At the end of the day, the highs are super high, and the lows can get pretty low when we are visiting. I'm a kid in a candy store. Well, duh. Even the lead up is fun because it usually involves showers and just sort of getting into the headspace, making sure devices are charged, drinks are topped off, that sort of thing. Are you just here to brag, Emailer? The lows get pretty low because everyone has trauma and bullshit from their past that makes them unique. Okay? One is a war veteran, another is an assault survivor, and another one has bpd. Okay? I'm commonly referred to as a berry picker by everyone in the group because I'm not a typically masculine man. I have small hands. I do most of the cleaning and chores in my house because my wife works long hours and I don't build cars or fix things. I work on computers and I collect and build miniatures. One of my girlfriends says that the thing she likes the most about me is that I'm a berry picker, not a macho man. It feels a little insulting, but I usually get over it pretty fast, considering I have the love of all these different people in my life. Polyamory is really not something I've heard you talk about much on your show. So if you ever want to have a chat about it, look me up. Just call me Barry Picker. Is this guy famous? Barry Picker. Okay, this is a real. This is. There's Barry Picker, Picker and all Burker CPAs. Okay? This guy. I don't understand what he means by pick him up. There's nothing that comes up when I search Barry Picker. But anyway, also, we've talked about polyamory all the time, brother. You've been listening for two months. All right, We've been. You know, we've been. I'm sure that this podcast has spawned some gecko polycule stuff or whatever. We've covered polyamory a ton on here. What do I have to say about this, brother? Dude, you have three girlfriends. You have three girlfriends, man. Dude, if I have three girlfriends, they can say whatever they want to me. If three girlfriends, man, let. Let a few things slide, my brother. Let a couple things slide. You know, let him call you a berry picker. Let it slide, my friend. You have three girlfriends. What do you. What do you want? You want to have three girlfriends that are also nice to you all the time? That. Come on. How much can you possibly need out of life if you have three girlfriends? By the all they. They hang out without you, Let your three girlfriends hang out without you. Please let your three girlfriends. If I have three girlfriends, I'm like, go, here's a thousand dollars. Go do it like, dude, just let them do their thing, you know? What are you doing? Berry picker. Berry picker. Just enjoy your life, man. You're. You're. You're. Don't question this. You have three girlfriends, man. Don't question it. Just. Just live your life, brother. You know, my wife does her best to keep everyone together. Sometimes I feel like the person who is fucking things up for everybody. You're not fucking anything up, Barry. You're living your life. Just, you know, do you do your thing, man. Just. Just enjoy. Barry. Barry, you're somehow. You have three. You're somehow. Barry, you strike me as a neurotic man. You strike me as a very neurotic man. You have found a way to make having three girlfriends like something to be anxious about. And I get it. I get it. I have a neurotic brain too. I'd probably do the same exact thing. I'd probably find a way to be anxious about it. But sometimes you gotta just like, just, just let life be good to you, man. Let life be good to you, Barry. Let life be good to you. You do most of the cleaning and chores in your house. You work on computers. You collect miniatures. You've been a nice boy. You've been a nice man, Barry. You've been a nice man in your life. You've tried to be helpful, okay? You've tried to be a good guy. You've tried to supported your wife. Okay? Now you have three girlfriends. So just. Just enjoy it. Don't, don't. Don't question it too much, man. Just enjoy your life. Why did you say fighting a sickness? Why is that the name of the email? Okay, I'm gonna let. I'm gonna. I'm gonna let you go. All right. This is from, uh, Macy. Hey, Geck. I have a stress habit of picking my eyelashes. When I am stressed, I pinch my eyelashes with my fingers and pull them off. I've been doing this for as long as I can recall, even as a kid. I am 25 now and still do it today. Something about the tension and release is satisfying. I've desensitized my eyelids to the pain, so now it feels good. I've been so stressed sometimes that I pull off every eyelash on both eyes. It makes me look uglier and I'm already pretty chopped. I don't know why. This is what I do when I'm stressed. I've been doing it for years and in months my eyelashes grow back to be picked again. I don't know if it'll ever stop. Even though my mom scolded me many times and expressed her disgust. I guess it is gross, but it feels good. Then I look in the mirror and I always feel disappointed with my lack of self control. Life makes us do weird things. We are weird things. Thanks for your time, Macy. Dude, I do this. Listen, Macy, bummer. I empathize with you because it's a bummer that your thing happens to be on a very noticeable part of your body. I bite the fucking shit out of my. My fingernails. I'm always picking up my toenails. I'll like pluck my own beard hairs. Luckily I have enough of them. Like you can't really tell. But sometimes my beard just gets patchy because I'm plucking all that shit. I like when my mustache gets really long. I'll fucking take one of my mustache hairs and I'll pluck it out with my own, like, teeth. You know what I mean? So with you, you just had the bad luck of having it be like your eyelashes. Because your eyelashes are like kind of front and center. You don't have a lot of them compared to like a beard hair. And you know you can't just like put them off to the side like can like your fingernails. So. Yeah, bro, I've been doing this shit since I was a little kid and I'm 28 now. And it's, it's. It's not. It's. I don't. I think I'm gonna probably end up doing this forever. You are correct, Macy. Life makes us do weird things. And we are weird things. I can't help you any further than that.
- [58:42]
Lyle
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- [59:43]
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- [60:44]
Lyle
One to settle, stand down or stand still. You're a lifelong learner, energized by excellence. There's a fire inside you you can't ignore. You've got competition to outrun, momentum to build on, and your own high standards to meet. Stop now. Not a chance. At Capella University we help you catch what you're chasing because you've always had the drive. Now go earn the degree. Capella University what Can't you do visit Capella Edu to learn more?
- [61:15]
Therapy Gecko (Lyle's persona or guest)
All right. This is from Google. Your Google account was successfully recovered. If you suspect you were locked out of your account because of changes made by somebody else, you should review and protect your account. Okay? Thanks, Google. This is from Wakabellum. Subject line, Marty supreme fucking sucks. Hi, Lizard. I'm listening to your newest episode right now, and you mentioned how much you liked the movie Marty Supreme. I feel strongly about how much I dislike this movie. That shit sucked. Everyone has been hyping it up to be this generational work of art, but it's not, bro. I don't consider myself a movie snob at all, okay? This is gonna be really boring for anyone who hasn't seen this movie, but I fucking loved this movie, and so I'm gonna keep. I'm gonna keep going, okay? I don't consider myself a movie snob at all. I don't watch a lot of TV in general, but I've always loved movies that portray character development and strong emotional themes. The movie Hustle is my favorite movie ever. Go watch it if you haven't. It's fucking amazing. Anyway, in the movie, Marty spends the entire movie. Okay, there might be some spoilers in this movie. I'm not reading this yet, so if you, if you haven't seen Marty supreme, skip ahead a little bit. Anyway, in the movie, Marty spends the entire movie being a horrible person to his taxi driver friend, to the people who invested in him and basically everyone in general, but mostly the mother of his child. He did not give a about her and treated her like the entire movie. And he spent every ounce of his life, time and money to make it to Japan and battle someone in ping pong and had nothing to show for it. Not to mention he beat the Japanese guy in a fucking exhibition game. Not even a real tournament. Oh my God, this person. Fucking this person did not. Dude, Walkabellum, Wakabellum. I'm sorry, but you just did not understand this movie at all. I know this conversation is not gonna be interesting to the 90% of. I don't know how many people listening to this podcast watch this movie, but hold on, I, I. Let me. I haven't even finished reading your email. But you just. I just could already tell you did not understand this movie, okay? He burned all his bridges, lost every dollar he had, ruined the most important relationships. He had to win a ping pong game that did absolutely nothing for him and didn't even mean anything in the actual world of competitive table tennis and Then the movie suddenly ends when he goes home to see his newborn child. He didn't mention his baby mama was shot while in childbirth, and he dipped to fly across the world to play ping pong. And he cries when he sees his kid. What kind of ending is that? He realized what every normal human who has empathy feels. That movie sucked ass. Since you're the walker. Okay, first of all, the. The, the movie. The movie was extremely compelling. The reason why it was such a good movie is. There's a lot of reasons why it was such a good movie, but it was very compelling. Like, you just keep. Like, things just keep happening. Sometimes you see a movie that's like, okay, this happens, and then this happens, and this happens. You're like, why the fuck am I watching this thing, this movie? Like, something is always happening. There is constant motion. And. And you're watching this guy fuck up his life and fuck with everybody. And, like, whether or not, like, the moral judgment of the character is not like. Like, I don't need. I don't need the main character of the movie to, like, be such a good guy. Like, I don't want to watch a movie about, like, a guy being really nice to everyone, you know, that's not really compelling. You know, the whole point. Everything you're saying is the whole point, and everything that's everything you're saying is the whole point. Like the fact that he beats the guy in the exhibition game and not a real tournament. And he's so happy about it. And you're like, what the. Like, that's the point. That's the character development. All he wanted was to feel was to just prove to himself that he was the best dude. That was my favorite part of the movie. All he wanted was to prove to himself that he was so good at the game. And then he. And then. And then after he beats the Japanese guy, every. He just sheds everything. It's this weird thing. He's like an asshole insane person in pursuit of this one goal. And then. And the goal isn't even to win a tournament. The goal is just to prove to everyone that he's the best. And then he does it, and then he immediately sheds everything. It's this weird thing to watch. And dude, the. My favorite part of the movie is he beats the guy in ping pong. Immediately he goes up to him, gives him a huge hug, and goes. And he says, I have so much respect for you. You're so good at the game, and I hope you win the tournament. He's just. He just starts to be filled with all this love that he wouldn't like let himself feel until he accomplished his goal. And he fucked up a bunch of shit in. In the. On his way there. And I don't think it's like, I don't like. That's the whole. That's the whole point of the movie. That's the whole point of like this shit and uncut gems is like you're just watching a person's descent. They decided to give him a happy ending, which I. I thought was nice. I thought it was nice. They decided to give him a happy ending. If they continue if that movie, if you follow that movie to where the narrative would logically lead afterwards, the ending is probably not so happy because all the people he up and over would come back for him and he probably wouldn't live that happy a life. But in ending it right there, we gave you kind of a feel good thing and there was strong character development. That's the whole point is he's just. Is. You just see him like, he really kind of doesn't actually. You're right. He really doesn't develop or change his character at all until he wins. And then you see him win and then he like just switches up immediately. It's interesting to see. I really liked that movie because he kept getting denied, you know, like, like in the. In those. In those. I hate them Jerry Bruckheimer movies. Like the F1 movie. I hated the F1 movie. I hated it so much because in it it's like, this is. I don't know if this is not interesting to. Anyway, all right, I'm gonna go on this rant and then I'll read a couple more emails, but okay. In the F1 movie, Brad Pitt, he's these washed up. Did I already go on this rant? F1 movie. Brad Pitt, washed up fucking race car driver joins the F1 team, thinks he's the best. Like, same deal. Like, thinks he's awesome, Thinks he's awesome, has a huge ego, whatever. And then what happens to him? He wins the tournament because everything. Like, he wins the tournament because he's. Of course he does. And like everything that he. He thinks should happen to him just happens to him. But Marty supreme is different because he just keeps getting denied. He thinks he's going to win. He doesn't. He thinks that because he flew to Japan they'll let him in the tournament and he doesn't. And he just keeps getting fucking like, denied. And he keeps getting like, things like don't go well for him. The entire movie and it keeps getting denied. And he doesn't win at the end. He. That's the point is he doesn't even fucking win. He wins this shitty exhibition and then he, like, settles for a life that actually matters, where he, like, raises this kid and accepts responsibility at the end. And it was kind of beautiful. It was very emotional. Whether or not you think he's deserving of that after the way he acted throughout the movie is. Is a point of debate for sure. But it was a good movie. Anyway, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for going on that rant. Okay, let's read a couple more. This is from Phoenix. Hello. This is from Phoenix. My grandma is a Christian Nazi and we are playing hot potato. Okay. Hi, Gecko. My name is Phoenix and I've been a listener since 2023. Your show helps my days go by faster and often provides a much needed perspective on my own Life. I am 35, I work full time, and I'm currently pursuing a college degree in business. My only daughter will be graduating in 2027 and going to college soon after. I couldn't be more proud. Life is going well. However, I'm writing because I'm facing a difficult family situation and could use some advice. My 86 year old grandmother needs home care soon, but she's currently embroiled in a volatile situation with her neighbors and landlord. There is a dispute over property lines and water access. Recently, a neighbor has been turning off her water main, forcing her to call a plumber. While I want to help, my grandmother is extremely combative, judgmental and mentally abusive. She has a history of driving family away with emotional manipulation and religious control. There has even been a time when someone, a neighbor, chased her with a stick to inflict harm upon her. What the fuck? That neighbor has since moved, but she still finds a way to make conflict where she lives. Always. She has lived in a mobile park home for 40 years. My mother and other relatives are unwilling to take her in due to her abuse. I am a single mother to a 16 year old and I have worked incredibly hard to achieve stability and peace after experiencing homelessness in 2022 due to a living situation where we lost our place. Even though it was for a short period of time, it was still hard to get on my feet. My lifestyle is the opposite of my upbringing. With her supporting the LGBTQ community, practicing astrology, and my general beliefs directly conflict with her rigid views. I feel immense pressure from my family to step up and plan because we are traditional. But I am terrified of sacrificing the peaceful life I've built to care for someone abusive who needs help. All I can think about is how bitter I may become and end up like her. Wait, there's more. Hold on. Okay, your mom and everyone else is unwilling to take her in, so why the fuck do you have to take her in? I feel pressure from my family to step up. Wait, I don't understand you all. I don't understand. Your whole family won't take her in. Your whole family won't take her in, but they're pressuring you to. That's fucking stupid. I feel like a shithead for not wanting the responsibility. No, you're not. Yet I wonder. This may be a sign from the universe to show mercy. Okay, Everyone else has reached their limit with her, and now I feel the pressure is on me. I was asked by my aunt to look into taking her in or speak to my brother and mother about how we can move her out. Why the what? But what the. Why the fuck? What's your aunt fucking doing? You have your own fucking life. Why is your aunt bothering you about this? We have tried already in the past, but she always backs out due to us not submitting to her ways. Well, then fucking. She's 86 years old. My aunt lives out of the country and cannot cross over to come live with her either. Okay, so what you're saying is your aunt has a life. Wait, my aunt lives out of the county. Not even the country. The county. Okay. All right. You're okay. I'm getting worked up. I'm getting too worked up about this. My own lives out of the county and cannot cross over to come live with her either. What do I do? How do I balance the guilt of not helping with the need to protect my own peace and my daughter's environment? What should I do? Thanks for reading. Okay, I have multiple things to say. First of all, dude, I'm sorry your family's insane. Why the fuck is your aunt. Why is everyone telling you to do a thing and being like, oh, I can't. It's like, bruh, you're 35 years old. You work full time. You're pursuing a college degree. You're raising a fucking daughter after being homeless. Like, you have your own fucking life. And your aunt is like, oh, well, I can't take care of her because I have my own life. But, like, you know, I'm not gonna inconvenience myself in my life. I'll make you inconvenience yourself in your life, and I'll make you Feel bad about it. That's fucking stupid. That's fucking stupid. At this point, I, I feel. Dude, dude, your grandma's doomed. She had 86 years to figure it out. I'm sorry, I, I, I, I'm sorry, Phoenix. I'm sorry. I'm. You probably love her, she's your family. I'm sorry, dude, but she had so much time to figure it out. That's how I feel about 86 year olds, man. Whenever I see an 86 year old, like being an ass. Like when I see an 86 year old, like, like, okay, if you're at the fucking grocery store and you see an 86 year old woman and she's like yelling at the grocery store worker about like a coupon, it's like, bro, you're about to be in oblivion for eternity. You're about to be in oblivion for eternity any day now. I'm gonna say it again. You're about to be in oblivion for eternity. Not just in the future. You're about to be in oblivion for eternity any day now. What the fuck do you care about this fucking coupon or this fucking who's gay or what the fuck do you fucking get? You're. It's just insane. It's like the most insane thing to me. These like abusive old people, dude. Phoenix, your grandma, has. She had time to figure it out. She had time to figure it out and listen, God bless, seriously, God bless her. I feel bad for her, I really do. I have a deterministic belief in life a little bit. I'm like half agency, half, I'm a half agency, half deterministic. And the deterministic half is like, I don't know what the fuck it is about the way that your grandmother lived. She, she, when she was 35, the world was much different than when you were 35. I don't know what happened in her childhood, what she was exposed to. You have the Internet, you like. There's a lot of reasons why one could say that she thinks and acts and does and whatever the fuck she is. And you are who you are. And that sucks for her. But it's not your problem. It's not your problem, Phoenix. It's not your problem. You're a single mom to 17 year old who needs you. And you have a finite amount of time, energy and money and resources. Have a finite amount of yourself. And you're giving it to work, you're giving it to school, you're giving us your fucking daughter. You're giving it to yourself. Don't feel Guilty. You're doing. You're doing plenty to ex. To extend your time and energy and humanhood outside of yourself by raising a daughter and putting her through college. That's. You're giving a lot of your personhood to externally by doing that. And also, by the way, you're even giving into your. Even. You're a per. You're also a person, so you deserve to give to yourself, too. It sucks that your grandma is in this situation and that all of your. And your family. Stop letting your family make you feel guilty when they won't, because everyone's gonna have a reason why they don't want to fuck up their life to take care of your grandma. And. And it's obnoxious of them to demand that you fuck up your life because they think that their life is less worthy. Like, she can't cross county lines. Like, what the fuck? That's bullshit. So. So please, Phoenix, if you listen to this, I implore you to continue to live your own life to the fullest and keep all of you. And like. Like. Like, I'm like, relieve yourself of the guilt. Relieve. You have nothing to be fucking guilty about. You raised a fucking kid. You're. You're contributing to society. You're being like a normal human. Like, you have nothing to feel guilty about, Phoenix. So, like. Like, just stop feeling. Stop feeling guilty, because that takes energy that you. Even the g. Your. Your grandma's not even, like, in the same fucking room as you. Your family's not in the same room as you, and they're already extracting your energy and time. Because if guilt takes a lot of energy and time, and this is. This is not. This is not real guilt. This is just like, some bullshit that people are enforcing upon you because they couldn't get a handle of their own life, and that's a bummer for them. But you got. You got a handle on your own life. You got shit to do. Stop feeling guilty and start taking the energy and putting it into your daughter and putting it into yourself, because that's what you. That's what you deserve. All right, well, that's it. I think that was Geck mail. I think we did it. We ranted about a lot of different stuff. That's exciting. My name is Lyle. I'm a Gecko. I'm going on tour. Please come see my shows. Therapygeckotour.com for a list of dates. I'm doing, like, 31 cities this year. I have some stuff, some stories I'm gonna tell. I. I'm gonna do some therapy of course and it'll be a fun good time and you will have a fun good time. So go to therapy gecko tour.com. Yeah, go to therapygeckotour.com and buy tickets. Or by the way, you have to put, you have to put the URL therapy gecko tour.com in like as a complete. You don't Google Therapy Gecko Tour. Put therapy gecko tour.com or you can or I think the link is in the description too for this so you can click there too. But if you want to send me an email, you can send an email to therapy gecko mailmail.com if you want to call into the show. I don't, I, I don't really stream anymore but I do post the phone number on my Instagram randomly which is now how I'm doing it. So follow me on Instagram Lyle the number four ever. Or if you just search Therapy Gecko, it'll come up and follow me on there. And you know, if you see my story in time, maybe I'll, maybe, maybe we can talk. That's it. Thank you guys. Bye bye.
- [81:37]
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- [82:03]
Therapy Gecko (Lyle's persona or guest)
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Lyle
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Therapy Gecko (Lyle's persona or guest)
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Therapy Gecko (Lyle's persona or guest)
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Therapy Gecko (Lyle's persona or guest)
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Therapy Gecko (Lyle's persona or guest)
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- [83:35]
Lyle
This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.