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This is a segment that I do sometimes on the podcast where instead of talking to callers on the phone, I just read emails and I am currently coming at you from a windowless hotel room in Tijuana, Mexico. I just finished. I'm down here filming a video. I don't know if you guys saw. I made this video a Month ago, or I guess I filmed it back in February of me walking with my boy Jason, who I met through this podcast through Japan. And I talked about depression, I talked about having an existential crisis, a lot of that stuff. And I really enjoyed that format of video. So I am currently down here in Tijuana filming with someone else who I met through this podcast. And we're making a video together. And that's exciting to me. And so, yeah, I feel great. I feel revitalized. I feel I've been trying to find a way to kind of like evolve the show in some way. Cuz it's been. It's been like, you know, five years now that I've been being a gecko and doing this podcast. And I really like this format. So I'm excited for you guys to see this video that I'm gonna make. I just shot it and we're gonna. I'm gonna take some time to edit it. But anyway, whatever. That's what's going on with me. That's what's going on with me. As far as this podcast episode goes, it's going to be me reading viewer mail. I made an Instagram story yesterday asking people to send me mail with whatever. And so I'm going to now read some of that viewer mail for the next hour, perhaps even more. And hopefully this provides you with some form of distraction as you either fold laundry or drive a car or do any other things that you would do. Or maybe you just. Maybe I don't know how you do podcasts. Maybe you don't. Maybe you just sit in a chair and listen to your podcast without doing a second thing. But whatever it is that you're doing while you're doing this, I hope that this is a good. This works for you as a second thing to be doing. Okay, all right, let's. Let's just start reading emails here. All right, first email. This is from Joel. Subject line thoughts on your GTA 6 existential dread rant from Joel. Hello, Lyle. Joel here. He wrote his full name, by the way. He, he, he wrote Joel and then his last name, but I. And he wrote. He gave me his first and last name in both the subject line in the email itself, but I don't think I'm gonna read it aloud because there's no reason to do that. Okay. All right, Joel here. I just finished listening to your Gecko Mail episode where you mentioned how excited you are for Grand Theft Auto 6. This is true. And how you were in middle school when the trailer for GTA 5 came out. I think it's really interesting to reflect on those points in our lives when we're super excited for something versus how we actually feel once it finally happens. If I could go back to my 12 year old self playing San Andreas and show him all the amazing things you can do in GTA 5, how great it looks, all the crazy stuff you can pull off, he'd be blown away. But now that I am in my late 20s or 30s. Wait, now that I'm in my late 20s or 30s. Okay, all right, that makes sense. Now that I'm in my late 20s, I barely care. Hmm. It's like, look how cool this is. And yet you just don't feel it anymore. Hopefully that doesn't happen to you a year from now when GTA 6 comes out. Sorry to be a bit of a bummer, but I guess that's just how life is sometimes, huh? Just a few thoughts from me, Joel. And then he wrote again his first and last name. And then he writes, P.S. please keep my name anonymous. Why would you write your first and last name? Here's the thing. I get it. If you send an email and you just. Google just has your first and last name in the, in the fucking thing, but you wrote your first and last. That we're keeping Joel. Joel's anonymous enough, I think. But why would you write your first and last name in this, in the subject line, then twice in the body of the email if you wanted to be anonymous? Sorry, I don't know why I'm coming at you, Joel. I don't mean to come at you. I'm bummed that you don't care. I mean, I'm bummed that you don't care. I don't know. I don't know what your life is like. I mean, it's not that big of a deal if you don't care, it's fine. I have games like that, by the way. I used to be. I remember I used to. I was really obsessed with Kingdom Hearts when I was a boy, when I was at 12. And I, I was so, so, so excited for Kingdom Hearts 3. And then it didn't come out for like seven years or eight years, I don't even know. And I, by the time it came out, I didn't give a shit at all. And there's been, there's been stuff like that where I just didn't care. But this, I care. I care about Grand Theft Auto. I'm actually, while. Actually while I'm like on planes and shit in Tijuana. Yeah, I'm just in a window. I'm just in a hotel room. We, I did, we did a bunch of fun stuff to film the video, but after that I just kind of sat in the hotel room playing San Andreas, the definitive edition on my switch. And that's been pretty great. But yeah, I don't think that. I actually don't think. I know that you're saying this is a bummer, but I don't think that this is that much of a bummer. You know, it makes sense, right, when you're a kid. Because I remember, yeah, I remember being. When I was a kid, video games were all I cared about. They were the scope of my life, you know, I was like, Yeah, I was 12 years old and my, my, the main narrative of my existence was I'm so excited for, for like Portal 2 and Super Smash Brothers Brawl. And then you get older and your life expands. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. I really care. I'm really excited. I really care about Grand Theft Auto 6. But, you know, you get older and you want, you want. You're like, oh, Grand Theft Auto 6 is cool, but it would also be nice to have a wife and kids, you know what I mean? Or to have a career, you know, that's good. It's good, it's good. I think it's. I enjoy that. I still care about video games. Like, they're a fun hobby, but I think if I, if all, if, if all I cared about in my late 20s or 30s was video games, I think that would be more of a bummer, you know what I mean? Like, it's good to care about other stuff. It's like, look how cool it's. What is he saying? All the crazy stuff. I don't know if. Joel, I don't know, Joel. I don't know. I don't take this as depressing. I don't think this is depressing. I think it's natural to care about stuff aside from just video games. But dude, I was thinking when I was playing, because I'm playing San Andreas right now and I'm like, damn, this looks like total shit compared to even Grand Theft Auto 4. I don't know why I've turned. I don't know why I've turned this into like, IGN Presents Therapy Gecko. But I do, I do like video games. Alright, this one comes from Vinnie, Subject line do Ayahuasca. He says, if you feel it's calling you, trust your intentions. We are all God Consciousness is God. Death is incredibly easy. Living life is difficult, but that's what makes it special. We're here to leave our impact better than we found it, so we can upgrade in our next life. You've already done so much positively impactful that I hope you're being a friend to yourself. Thank you, Vinny. That's really nice of you to say. And based on how fortunate you are in this life, it's very likely your previous life followed this advice. Be well, Vinnie. Thank you, Vinny. This was a sweet email. This is really nice. I don't want to do ayahuasca. I used to think I wanted to do ayahuasca and now I don't. And here's why. Is because. Well, yeah, I've been talking about a lot on the podcast about like, existential bullshit. And I feel like, let's see, it's June for basically all of February, March, April and half of May, so about three and a half months. My constant existential thoughts. And I was thinking a lot about this shit about like, we are all God and consciousness is God and that stuff. And I, it's. And a lot of that when, like thinking about death and shit, a lot of that was scary. But the past few weeks I'm thinking about it. I'm still thinking about it, but not from like a, I'm scared of it. Not from like a, like it's interesting to think about place. But I don't want to do ayahuasca, man. There's no. I, I, I, I, I feel like you gotta, you gotta keep, you gotta keep one foot on the earth, you know? You know, I mean, you really gotta keep one foot on the earth or else you're gonna just go fucking completely insane. I get you though. On the whole, we are all God conscious death is easy. Living life is difficult. That is true. Death is easier than life. You don't have to do anything if you're dead. You don't have to, you don't have to go to work, you don't have to talk to anyone. You don't have to go grocery shopping. It's true. I was, I was thinking about this. Forgive me if I've talked about this on the podcast before, but I was on. What When I was depressed and I was on Wikipedia one night and I, God, I feel like I've told this story before. I wanted to do it anyway. I was depressed when I was on Wikipedia and I was on a Wikipedia page for this movement called antinatalism that was like, like, like A philosophical idea that it is. That it is unethical to have children because you're bringing consciousness into existence without its permission. Then, like, consciousness and suffering and shit. And while I was depressed, I was reading that, and I was like, that's true. Do. Consciousness is. Consciousness is. Is depressing. And then. But that's. That's a. That's a. That's some shit you have when you're depressed. You know, I was walking around in. In Tijuana a little bit yesterday, and I was just. I just watched the. These two people. They were. Must have been like. I don't know, they were young. They must have been like 20 or something. It was just this couple. They were just holding hands, and one had like, a drink, and they had, like. Had like a Fucking, like a tea or something. And I was like, this is. That. I was like, this is nice. This is good. This is. Life is fine. Life is fine. Life is good. You experience, bring, you know, you bring a kid into the world and, yeah, sure, there's plenty of shit to be depressed about, but, you know, hopefully one day you have a kid and they get to drink some tea and hold a lady's hand and walk down the street and, you know, this is pretty good. That's worth it. That's worth it. So I don't know what was. I said, what was the point of this rant that I'm going on right now? But, yeah, it's true. Death is easy. But. But you should do it. You should do life. You should do it. You should do life. You shouldn't opt out. I don't. I don't. Yeah, I've thought I. Again the past three months, going insane. I was like. I was like, I want to opt out. I want to. You know. You know what I mean? You don't want to opt out. You opt in. Give it a shot. You know, this is all. I'm. I'm. I drank too much coffee. This is all pointless, rambling, but this is. I'm just speaking of my own thoughts. But I don't want to do ayahuasca because I don't want to be too. I don't want to be too connected to the universe in, like, crazy, psychedelic ways. You can be connected to the universe by going on a. By. By drinking a glass of water and walking down the street. You know, I don't want to. I. I don't want to be too conscious. I don't want to get up to some crazy level of whatever. Whatever crazy level of consciousness that ayahuasca is supposed to give you. I don't want that. That sounds, that sounds burdensome. I enjoy. I even enjoy being pissed off now that truly like after having a. I've been thinking about like after having like a weird existential crisis, I actually enjoy now. Cuz like the total opposite of consciousness is like when you're like pissed off about something stupid, you know? I mean like, like if you, like if you're at a restaurant and you order coke and they only have Pepsi and you're like pissed off about it, you're doing so great, you know? I mean, you're connected. You're so deeply connected to reality. Every time I find myself like, like I'm dry. Whatever. If I'm driving a car and someone like cuts me off or something and I'm like, pissed off, I'm like, oh, I'm. That was. That's so. Oh, crap, this is a background noise. Who cares? All right, there's. So what was I saying? Anything? I'm like, every time I get pissed off about something stupid, I'm like, oh, this is great. I missed this, I missed that. You're so. You're connected to reality in that moment that you just pissed off that someone cut you off in traffic, you know? Okay, all right, let's keep going. I don't know what I'm talking about. Here we go. All right, this is from Subha. Subject line. Love is the point of living, right. What if I never love? Hello, my dear friend Lyle. Ever since I can remember, I've thought love was the whole point of life. Whenever I went through a tough time, I would think, once I find someone who truly loves me, all of this will be worth it. And it's not like I thought highly of myself or even felt like I deserved love. I was a brown girl growing up in the south and Midwest who couldn't understand how other girls could dream about their wedding day. Because how were they so sure someone would ever love them enough to marry them? Hold on one second, Brandon, I'm seeing if I. I think the. My external microphone is connected to this thing. Okay, it looks like it. Hold on, I'm Double check real quick. Okay, hold on. Brand, I'm gonna make another. Wait, actually, I don't even need. Do I need to do that? Okay, hold on. I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna start a new recording. Okay? All right. All right, let's turn to this. But through times full of suicidal ideations, academic failures and difficult familial relationships, I would dream of a love that would make it all worth it. My first real love was complicated and tense and honestly traumatic. And feeling that love did not make me feel any more lovable, which was odd to me. I'm still heavily emotionally attached to this person, but I know I will get over them with time. It hurts right now, but it's not unbearable. I just can't imagine myself being in a relationship where I feel like I'm actually worth the other person's love and affection. I know people say you should love yourself and not seek external validation from a significant other, but there's love you can feel from another person that will never come from yourself and makes you feel whole. Imagine someone deciding to live with you through all your mundane moments. That's beautiful. How do I get over feeling unlovable? The self racism and learned feelings of hatred toward myself is so hard to undo. Sorry for being so negative. Appreciate your work and I hope you know you're loved. And listeners, I hope you know you're loved as well. Give me a second to think about this because I'm actually going to try, I'm really going to try to like pull from like a little bit of my own experiences or thoughts with this because I have. Okay, so in my, I think, I think back like a lot on like my, my. In my like personal life, right? I, I go through, I've always gone through, I think like cycles like I've had so many cycles in my life where I'm just like. The only fucking thing that I care about is finding a girlfriend is like finding like a, like you write everything you're saying, right? Like finding love, finding someone to have like your mundane moments with. And I've gone through, I've got, it's, it's for, for me personally, it's been very cyclical where I'm like, I need to find another person to complete me. And, and when I am in that cycle, you cannot convince me otherwise. You know, I've been in cycles where I'm like, there is no, like. You're saying there is no external, there is no like thing that can come from me that will match the, the peace and the serenity of like, of like love in. Of like romantic love. I mean that's why, I mean that's why every fucking song on the planet earth was written about this shit, you know, And I think it would be. And I don't know, by the way, just so you know, I don't have advice on this, but I'm, this is just, I'm just gonna ponder It. I don't have advice. This is not advice. This is just you bring. You bring up an interesting life conundrum, and I'm thinking about my personal experience, and I'm pondering it with you right now. So I don't have advice, but this is just my ponders, you know. Fuck, what was I saying? Cycles. Yes. I've been through cycles. And then I've also emerged from those cycles feeling the opposite way, where I'm like, yeah, you know what? I'm just gonna truly enjoy life. And this is. This is. I. This is. Again, this is coming from a. I have. I have genuinely felt. Um. Hold on. I have to sneeze. I have to sneeze. Let's keep this in. This is important. Fuck. Hold on. Fuck. Okay. All right. We're keeping that in. What is it? I have gone through cycles in my life where I genuinely felt unconvinced. You could not convince me otherwise, that life was worth living if you didn't have a significant other. You know, and then I've. I don't know how, but I've just. Just through time or whatever, just emerged from that into a mode of existing where I'm like, you know, that would be cool. It is undeniably a unique feeling and a powerful feeling and a, you know, important part of life. Like, you can't deny that. Yes. No, because it bothers you, right? Bothers you when people are like, oh, you should love yourself and this and that and the other thing. Because when you're like, in this email, when you're like, there's nothing that compares to that. It's true. You're right. That there is that. That kind of love and that kind of thing. That's a. That's a one of one experience. Undeniably so. Undeniably so. I think. I think it's a. I think it's a lie to tell people that it's not. But that doesn't mean that if you don't have it right fucking now that your life has to be shit. You know what I mean? And also. And you've probably. I'm sure you've been told this a billion times, whoever wrote this email. It's paradoxical, right? Because the more you chase after it, the more people can. People can smell desperation. The more you. You chase after that, the more that it eludes you. That's a classic. It's a total classic. And then you get into this contradictory state of being where you want something so badly and everyone's telling you that the only way to get this thing that you want is to not want it, then you don't want it, and then it's easy. It's a difficult thing to manage. Although I. Again, thinking back, I'm just From my own life, when I've been in the cycle of, like, oh, all. All that matters in life is having a. Is having a girlfriend and having this kind of love. I have. Like, I keep. I keep a journal. I keep a journal of, like, my thoughts and feelings and stuff. And I've. I've. I look back at some journals that I've written from those periods of time where I was in that cycle where I thought that that was all that mattered. And I was. And I was reading thoughts that I had during those cycles, and I was like. And I was like, this. Fuck it. Hold on one second. There's some background noise. We can keep this. We can keep this in. Yeah, I forgot I was in a hotel. Am I. I'm probably screaming. I don't think there's any. I don't know if there's that many other people staying at this hotel, so maybe it's okay. It's also in the middle of the day, but I guess that doesn't make it okay. I don't think I'm screaming. I'm talking loudly. Maybe I'm screaming a little bit. What was I gonna say? Oh, yes. Okay. So I keep a journal, and I've written, I've read. I've reread, like, journal entries that I've made from that time. And I've been like, this. And I've been like, this guy is not healthy enough to even be in what he wants. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, you. I'm. I'm re. Like, I've been in, again, like, healthier states of mind where I'm not in the. In the state of mind where I'm like, oh, this is all that matters. And I'm kind of like. I just like life. I'm just feeling peaceful and happy on my own. And when I'm in that state, I'll read journal entries that I wrote when I wasn't in that state, when I was, like, you know, obsessed with finding a relationship. And I'll be like, dude, this is. This is. And I'll be like, it's. And it'll. I'll just see so clearly that what everyone says about how you need to not want it for it to come to you or for you to even be, you know, truly eligible for it, it's True. It's just true. So I don't know what to do with that information. I don't know what kind of advice is to be gleaned from that observation. But yeah, how do you get out of that cycle and, and into more of the cycle of like, oh, I really genuinely feel peaceful on my own. And also the whole like, I feel like it's a thing of like, you know what, feeling peaceful on your own. And then still, you still have to make an effort. You know, you still got to like fucking, you know, go on the dating apps or, or go out to things and talk to people. But if you do it from a healthy place where you are, where you genuine, you're not, not bullshitting yourself because we all can bullshit ourselves and be like, I don't care what happens. I don't care what happens on this date. I don't care if this day goes well. But, but you kind of lying to your brain a little bit. You kind of do hope it goes well when you can. When you feel like you're at a mental point where you're like, I genuinely am okay with however this turns out, I'm genuinely doing shit just to meet people. That kind of is when I think things pop into place a little bit more. Or even if it's not when things like pop into place a little bit more, it's at least when things are like, you know, healthy enough such that if they do, it's not crazy. You know, I don't know if this rant makes any sense, but I just, I feel, I, I've been, I know what this feels like and I've been in cycles of feeling it in cycles of not. And these are just kind of my observations from the cycles, so whatever. Okay, so what does it actually say in this email? How do I get over feeling unlovable? How do you get over feeling unlovable? I mean, building self esteem. How does one build self esteem? Okay, I don't know if I have advice. I'm just thinking about my own life and times when I've had self esteem and times when I haven't self esteem. And again, for me, self esteem has been very. It's been a very cyclical thing. I've had times in my life where I've had a lot of self esteem and then times in my life where I have had very, very, very, very low self esteem. And I've. And I've been in one cycle. And when I'm in the cycle, I'm like, I don't recognize it. As a cycle, I recognize it as, oh, this is forever, you know? But looking back, I'm like, what, what, what, what moves me from one part of the cycle to another? I wish I had an answer to that, but I don't. In this very moment, I don't have a better answer to that other than medication and achieving things. Achieving things is good, but I guess it's achieving the right kind of things, like feel like things that make you feel competent. You know, I feel, anytime I feel like when I feel as though I am providing evidence to myself through competent actions that I am getting smarter or I am like you being more confident, being more competent, I feel more confident. Like you need, you need to provide yourself with date. You need to like provide yourself with data, you know, I don't think you can like meditate yourself into self esteem. Although maybe you can. I don't, I'm just, I'm just speaking from my own personal experience. Maybe you can meditate yourself into self esteem. You can't. Yeah, you can. I think you, I think you can. I think you can. I think you can. For some people, you know, I don't know, everyone's fucking different. Some people need like, like empirical external evidence for themselves that they are a competent, worthy human being. And I'm definitely a little, at least, at least 50% of a person like that. And then the other 50% is you meditate yourself into being like, I, I. The fact that I exist as a human being gives me inherent value. Again, for me, it's a yin yang thing. Those things work together. But yeah, I hope this was, I hope this rant made sense. This, I, I like this email. This gave me a lot to kind of think about. But also, I don't know, how old is this person? I'm trying. It doesn't really, it doesn't really say in this message. Right. There's a. Because there's another thing of the times of academic failures. Okay, I'm gonna guess you're fairly young. Because there's another thing of like, yes, being, I think being in a healthy, loving relationship. No doubt everyone's different, but I think most people would probably say that that's, that's better than being alone. I think people are kind of probably bullshitting if they say it's not, but at least for them, I don't know, all this stuff is very personal. But just because you can, just because you recognize that it does help make you whole and it is a big life thing and you don't have it, that doesn't have to make you feel like shit because you can just be like, look, I don't have this right now. It's not a part of my life right now, and that's fine. But it doesn't. You don't have to condemn. Just because it's not part of your life right now doesn't mean you have to condemn yourself to being unlovable for the rest of your life, you know? All right, let's keep going. I hope you're doing okay. Oh, they signed their email. Molly. Hope you're doing all right. Molly. Okay. All right. This is from Brianna. Subject line. Am I crazy? Ooh, it's an exciting subject line. Hi, Geck. You can give me a name. So, to make a long story short, I traveled through the US for about three months, January through April, just exploring and visiting national parks. Then I went back to Canada to seek health care and just ended up staying in Canada and going back to the seasonal work I usually do. Due to some circumstances, I ended up being depressed for the whole month I was back. I decided I wanted to leave. Packed my car, which is built to live out of, and left the next day. I quit the job I had and headed for the border. I tried to enter through Detroit. They took me aside, questioned me, took my finger. What the fuck? They took your finger what? That has to be a typo. And searched my car. They sent me back to Canada. I entered the next day after showing them a ton of paperwork that proves ties to Canada. Kind of a crazy experience because Canada and the U.S. have a tourism agreement for their citizens. Anyway, I'm crossing the border from Montana into Alberta today in search of work somewhere in Banff for the summer. This was a pretty impulsive and spontaneous decision, but it doesn't make sense to stay somewhere. I'm unhappy. I've had so many people ask how I can travel and do what I want. There are no rules to life. We all have free will and can do whatever our hearts desire. I'm not following a conventional lifestyle and I'm not sure I ever will. For context, I'm 19 and graduated a year ago. I crave new experiences and adventures. I'm so content being an uneducated hippie. Living life to the fullest is what makes you rich, not that degree or six figure job. To anyone who wants to get out there, just do it. It's scary to take the leap, but regret is scarier. You only live once, Brianna. Interesting. Okay, well, I have a few thoughts about this, right? Because I think, no offense to Brianna, But I think, like, going, okay, going like full. If you like, going full send. We all have free will and, you know, get out there and whatever. Whatever to me is. It's a little ignorant in the sense, no offense to Brianna. But I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna speak for myself because I actually, I do agree with a lot of this shit, but also, also, it also costs money to exist on the earth. And so I remember there, there's this like viral Instagram post that this, this lady made. I don't know if you guys have seen it, where she's like, she's like in a. On a beach in Thailand and she's like, what did she say? She's. And she's like panning the camera around and she's like, this could be you on a Thursday. All you have to do is book a flight. What are you doing? You have free will. All you have to do is book a flight. And that. That clip goes viral. Because everyone. What's the word? What's the word? When it's a tick tock, everyone stitches it. Everyone stitches it with them being like, you know how the foot flights cost money. You know, it's not. You can't just. You can. There's. There's a lot of like, okay, saying, like, get out there, do whatever you want. You have free will. Come. There is an asterisk. There's an asterisk on it. Doesn't make it not true. Doesn't mean we should throw out the whole sentiment. In fact, it's actually, I think it's a good sentiment, but it does come with an asterisk, you know, so it's like, I don't know. I'm trying to think what I, what I actually want to say about this. I'm curious. I'd like to talk to this person because I'm curious, like, how do they do it? You know, my understanding of this, how this person does it is. Well, okay, so she. So she's. I think this person is Canadian, right? They're born in Canada, so they have free health care. That's pretty cool. And then they do seasonal work. So my understanding of how it logistically works for this person is she probably spends three months doing her seasonal shit and saving and then. And I don't know how she saves. Right. Like, there's a lot of. I like what's in the asterisks of this, because I do. I think. Because here's the thing, I think it is, though, I think it is simultaneously ignorant to be like, Go out and travel and do whatever you want, as well as it being ignorant to say you can't do this because of X, Y and Z, right? Like there's a middle ground where we can go, like, okay, here's a logistic way that you can figure out how to do this shit, right? And so I'm trying to figure out how the logistics work for this person. She probably does like some kind of seasonal work and it saves up a bunch of money. I don't know how she saves the money. I don't know where she sleeps, right while she's doing the work. I don't know what she eats while she's doing the work. Maybe she lives with her folk. Maybe she lives with her folks while she's in Canada. Maybe she lives with fucking six roommates or something like that. Just saves up all the money and then uses it to travel through the US for three months. And then because she's in Canada, she's got health care. She figured it out. She had, you know, she was, she. You know, you're born and you get certain, you have certain nice things that come with your life if you're lucky. Like, you know, being in a place that is free health care or having parents that can let you stay at their place. And you figure it out. So I don't know. I got. There's. There's something in between. I don't like the. This, this. I don't like that people make it like a. In either or, right? Like the people, the people on the one side of the, of the Instagram thing where that lady is like, hey, just book a flight. You know, this could be you on Thursday in Thailand, right? It's like there's an asterisk there. And then on the other, some people stitching it, being like, you cannot do anything because everything is unbearably expensive and there's no possible way to do any of this shit. There's an asterisk there too, right? It's like we can get logistical on how to do cool shit. But yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I'm curious for how this person does it. But yeah, I would reorient. I, I would, I would reframe this person's message and I would go, I agree that living life to the fullest is what makes you rich. That's what she said. I agree that there, there is. How would I reframe this? Get out there and just do it. Like, I, I guess I would reframe it as, like fully assess whatever your situation. Is. And then use whatever resources are at your disposal, I. E. The Internet, I. E. Living with more roommates, I. E. Whatever it, whatever it is, man, to, like, figure it out. And a lot of this, I, I, I do think there are a lot of people who want to do things that they've decided they can't, that if they prodded a little bit, are, Are figureoutable. But, yeah, I don't know. I don't know what's going on in Canada. That's crazy. That's cool. You have free health care. All right, let's keep going. Okay. This is from Isaac. Subject line, hands free for life. Isaac says hello. I was on your show once when you had a therapist that wore glasses on. I forgot his name. He was cool, though. Why is that? I think he's talking about Dr. Dre. Not Dr. Not fucking Dr. Dre. Dr. Drew. Anyways, I wanted to give you an update since I had taken your advice to buy a flashlight. This is what happens when you do a podcast for five years. You just. Somebody says you get an email. You get an email from a guy who's like, hey, remember three years ago you told me to buy a flashlight? And I'm like, I, I don't remember that. But I'm like, what else have I. What else have I said that I don't even remember? Well, good. I'm glad you bought the flashlight. I, I've never tried. I've, I've actually never used a real Fleshlight. I've used a. What I call it a MacGyver Fleshlight. It's when you take a Pringles can. I've talked about this before, but I'll do it again. So you take a Pringles can and a rubber glove and two sponges, and you use that to do it. Do a homemade, MacGyvered Fleshlight. But I've never actually tried the real thing. Okay. I, I wanted to give you an update since I had taken your advice to buy a Fleshlight and I'm doing much better now. I have a lot of wisdom for anyone that may be in my position currently. What. What is your position? That you have a flashlight. What is this? Email? Bullet points, A haikyuu, A sneeze of knowledge, if you will be on the shiny. Okay. I don't think this person understood. I don't think this person understood the point of the email. That's okay. Who cares? Who gives a shit? I hope you're. I hope you're enjoying your Fleshlight, Isaac. Good luck. Good luck, sir. I hope I hope. Yeah. I hope you're enjoying your fleshlight. Thank you, Isaac. Thank you. For you. Thank you for sending me this email. All right. This is from Jacob, Subject line exchange in Baltimore. Hi, Lyle. Hope you're doing well. I'm a student from the UK about to do an exchange semester at MICA in Baltimore. I know you grew up there and was wondering if you had any advice tips for living there for four months and if you have any favorite spots to check out, I'd love to hear. Thanks and have a lovely day. All right, who's ready for the. Who's ready for the. To get. To get super niche here? Who's ready to learn about the great city of Baltimore, Maryland? Mike is sick. You know, a great time. Mike is a cool place. I never been there, but I. When you drive into Baltimore, you, like, see the outside of it, and it's a cool. It's like a cool, artsy place. You're definitely going to. Yeah. Oh, and you're also bro. I don't know, something about, like, being at, like, Micah, and you have, like, a British accent. Yeah. Everyone's going to love you. Yeah. You're going to. You're going to have a great time. Go to. Go to. Go to some fucking crusty punk shows in basements. I don't know if that's. I don't know much about, like, the Baltimore scene, but I know that there are. There's a lot of, like, punk shows at bars for, like, 10 bucks and shit like that. Go check that shit out. There's a museum I love in Baltimore. Shout out to the American Visionary Art Museum. It's. It's a lot of, like, crazy art from sort of, like, fringe artists who. Who. Who weren't, like, famous or anything. They were just, like, living on the street and shit. Check that out. Anything else? Baltimore, I don't know. It's a cool place. Yeah, go, go, go. Go to some. I'm. Go to some of those house shows. If. That's. If. Okay. All right. This is from Brigid. Subject line, A Weed Farm and a Dream. Hello, Lyle, thank you so much for opening up your email line to us writers. I'm also a speaker, but have never been lucky enough to be connected to you. During one of my many calls into the show, I. I writer and I don't know why this. I don't. I don't know why I'm getting tripped up by this, but. But thank you. Okay. I've been listening to the show since 2021 and the situation I was in when I started tuning in was quite unique. In November 2021, I was 23. I had just dropped everything in Massachusetts to live for three months on a weed farm in Trinity, California. Trinity County, California. I was low key, scammed into going by a friend of a friend that claimed I would make $10,000 in five weeks from trimming cannabis. You don't get out here's, here's the thing. Don't feel bad about it. You don't get, you don't get out of life for free. Especially if you're like, if you're a schemer. And I, I myself, when I was, when I was young and still today, a big schemer where I'm like, how do I, how do I, how do I like, you know, not have to work a real job? You know, when you're, when you're tinkering around, you get, you get ski, you get. When you're, when you're in big, like, oh my God, I'm going to have to work a real job and I don't want to do that. You start scheming, you're, you get, you get scammed, you get scammed into shit like this. So there is no, there is no shame in that. The unfortunate reality is I definitely lost more money than I made. I probably spent upwards of $6,000 living in San Francisco for three weeks and doing my coast to coast road trip. When all was said and done at the farm, I made around $5,000 between trimming and annual work and hourly work. I don't regret it. But I also wouldn't recommend it to anyone personally. I was really lucky to have a solid support system in this endeavor that I could go back to my apartment in Massachusetts when the season was over and therapy gecko was most of what I listened to while trimming. It brought a smile to my face when all I was looking at were white walls and massive amounts of weed for 10, 12 hours a day. Pros of living on a weed farm. Unlimited weed. Air is fresh and beautiful. Cons of living on a weed farm. Unlimited weed. Definitely isolating. Gotta sleep in your car. The sink bucket. No days off. 12 hour days. And did I mention isolating? I love you, Lyle. Thanks so much for your attention and care. Best Bridget. Thank you, Bridget. That's very sweet of you to say. Yeah, no, look, here's the thing. We've all. Again, like I was just saying when you're, when you're, when you're trying to. Not when your options are like, all right, cool, I could go Work at some thing and make some fucking whatever, you know. And then your friend is like, hey, you can make $10,000 in five weeks trimming cannabis. Of course you're gonna be like, that sounds right. Of course. Why would you not be like. Why would you question that? Sometimes you don't want to ask questions because you just want it to be real. So of course you're going to go and do that. So, yeah, you're not getting out of. If you're. If you're a schemer, if you're. If you're scheming around, trying to figure out how to not have to fucking be a real human being, you're. You. You're going to get nicked every now and then by. By somebody else who's. Who's scheming. So, you know, charges of the game, as they say. Okay. This is from Nicholas. Hello, Lyle. My name is Nick. I recently turned 19. I've noticed how your mood during your recent podcast episodes have has seemingly fluctuated from being depressed to perhaps being more content with being depressed. As you've said many times, you've been thinking of life very deeply and existentially as of recent, which I very much relate to. I have felt a strong sense of introspection and existentialism these past few weeks. Typically, this is accompanied by a strong negative feeling, but this time I feel more content with it. I don't know how to feel about that. I guess I feel good that I'm starting to accept that life is what it is, that most of it simply consists of grueling obstacles to overcome. You've impacted me so much mentally over the past four years with how honest and expressive you've been about how you've been feeling and what you believe. It's really inspiring, and it's made me gain a more realistic and understanding mindset that I quite enjoyed. Thank you, Nicholas. I like how the YouTube video you. I like the YouTube video you posted the other day about your crisis in Japan. You should do more of those. That's why I am in a windowless room in Tijuana. Here's a Minecraft building of you. Oh, shit, that's awesome. Look at that. Look at that. Okay, you. You're not gonna be able to see this in the audio version, but for the video, folks, check that shit out. That's pretty cool. Okay. What was I gonna say about this person? Bro, you're 19, man. You've started to accept that life is what it is, that it simply consists of grueling obstacles to overcome. Ah, Fuck. I want to go on a motivational rant, but I also don't because I don't know this person's life. I don't know what. I don't know what. I don't know what ignorance will. Will be woven into my. My fucking stupid rant. But I don't know, man. I hope you fucking. I hope you open your mind to the potential that life is more than just grueling obstacles to overcome or. Or I don't know. I don't know if it's he already just then I'm like, is that ignorant? Am I being ignorant? I don't know. I hope your life gets better. I don't know. Is this. I don't know. You sent me a fucking giant Minecraft gecko. That's life. You know, this is really good actually. I'm like actually looking at this sometimes. Life is playing Minecraft. That's. That's good, right? Goddamn. Keep chugging, Nicholas. Okay. This is from Brennan. Hey, Lyle, thanks for being the voice that keeps me company on my commute. You add a soothing presence to stressful work days. Thank you. I wanted to know if you ever tried going to Nintendo themed groups to find friends or more than friends parentheses, if you know what I mean. And if there are such groups near you. Also, what is your favorite food slash snack when you're high? Oh, crap. I don't know if that. Okay, all right. I hope to visit New York again soon and I'll be on the lookout for Gecko Man. Farewell, Geck. Nintendo themed groups. I have never. I don't know if. I don't know if that exists. I don't know if that exists. Wait, actually, hold on. I'm a total idiot. I go to Nintendo groups. Wait, I'm actually a total idiot. I actually go to Nintendo themed groups all the time because I play competitive Super Smash Bros. Melee, which is a Nintendo. It's so funny. I was looking at your email like, what the fuck is a Nintendo themed group? And then I'm like, oh, that's been a part of my life for like 11 years now. Going to fucking Smash tournaments. Yeah, bro. Go to. Go to some Smash Bros. Tournaments. I mean, I'm a big melee guy, but. And the melee scene is not as big in as like ultimate. But yeah, dude, go to. Go to some ultimate tournaments. Have some fun. That is a huge way that people make friends, right? Because what is friendship really? You know, it's just like the reason why we make less friends as we get older is because friendship is just like showing friendship is just fucking repeated interactions with the same people. And when you are an adult, you have less of that, as you did when you were in college and high school. So look, man, if you go to a fucking ultimate tournament once a week for several weeks, you'll probably start seeing the same people and making friends and yeah, I don't know, maybe then I don't, I don't know what your game is. Maybe you could start a fucking circle where you guys all go to your each other's animal crossing islands. What is your favorite food slash snack when you're high? Lately it's an entire pint of Ben Jerry's or like a p or like a dollar slice of pizza. That shit rocks.