“I ENGAGE IN ARMORED COMBAT”

Summary

Episode Summary: "I ENGAGE IN ARMORED COMBAT"

In this captivating episode of Therapy Gecko, the unlicensed lizard psychologist, Lyle, delves deep into the intriguing world of armored combat through a heartfelt conversation with Wyatt, a dedicated blacksmith and participant in this unique sport. Released on December 22, 2024, this episode offers listeners an immersive exploration of armored combat, highlighting the blend of craftsmanship, athleticism, and camaraderie that defines the sport.

---

1. Introduction to Armored Combat

Timestamp: [01:31]

Lyle kicks off the episode by welcoming Wyatt, who introduces himself as a blacksmith involved in armored combat. Wyatt explains his role in maintaining and repairing the heavy armor and blunted weapons used in the sport.

• Wyatt: "So right now, I'm fixing armor. I'm in a group that does armored combat." [02:18]

This sets the stage for a detailed discussion about the mechanics and safety measures inherent in armored combat.

---

2. Understanding the Sport

Timestamp: [03:13]

Wyatt provides a comprehensive overview of armored combat, explaining the rules designed to ensure safety despite the use of real swords and axes. He emphasizes that while participants engage in mock battles, the weapons are blunted, and certain dangerous moves are prohibited.

• Wyatt: "The rules of the sport are you can't stab, so you can't thrust. ... but aside from that, everything's legal, really." [03:13]

Lyle probes further, asking about the potential for injuries. Wyatt shares insights into the physical demands and the occasional mishaps that occur despite precautions.

• Wyatt: "I know a guy that broke his arm. ... he chopped just above his knee and he just went down." [03:54]

---

3. Motivations Behind Participation

Timestamp: [04:38]

Lyle explores what drives individuals to engage in armored combat. Wyatt humorously attributes a portion of the community to "nerds" seeking a physical outlet, occasionally linking participation to traits on the autism spectrum.

• Wyatt: "It's a lot of nerds who are also athletic enough and want to do a physical sport." [04:38]

The conversation highlights the unique appeal of wielding historical weaponry in a modern setting, setting armored combat apart from traditional sports.

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4. International Competitions and Achievements

Timestamp: [07:19]

Wyatt recounts his experience representing the USA in international armored combat competitions held in Mexico. He details the structure of team battles, ranging from smaller 5-on-5 teams to larger 16-on-16 matchups, and their team's impressive performance.

• Wyatt: "We represented the country for the international competition in Mexico this year." [07:19]
• Wyatt: "We smoked them. America. I don't think there's a single category where we didn't bring home gold." [08:50]

This segment underscores the competitive nature of the sport and the dedication required to excel on an international stage.

---

5. Life Outside Armored Combat

Timestamp: [12:20]

Wyatt discusses his life beyond the arena, balancing his passion for armored combat with his day job at an iron foundry. He elaborates on his blacksmithing endeavors, which involve crafting and maintaining armor for his team.

• Wyatt: "I've got a forge... I work in an iron foundry from a day job." [12:20]

This dual role highlights the blend of artistry and technical skill essential for armored combat participants.

---

6. Personal Insights and Relationships

Timestamp: [17:29]

Wyatt opens up about his personal life, sharing experiences from a past engagement and his current relationship. He expresses his desire to craft a custom ring for his girlfriend, emphasizing the romantic aspect of his blacksmithing skills.

• Wyatt: "I've been dating a girl for about three years now... I think I've decided I want to make her ring." [19:04]

This segment adds a personal touch, showing how Wyatt's passion intersects with his personal relationships.

---

7. Armored Combat Community and Dynamics

Timestamp: [08:50]

The episode delves into the camaraderie and mutual respect within the armored combat community. Wyatt highlights the teamwork required in larger battles and the supportive environment that fosters both competition and friendship.

• Wyatt: "We smoked them. America. I don't think there's a single category where we didn't bring home gold." [08:50]

The discussion also touches on the challenges of managing larger teams and the strategies involved in navigating complex matchups.

---

8. Dreams and Aspirations

Timestamp: [17:29]

Wyatt reflects on his long-term aspirations, primarily centered around continuing his involvement in armored combat and blacksmithing. He expresses a sense of fulfillment derived from his dedication to the sport and his craft.

• Wyatt: "To keep doing this as long as I can until I die. All of it." [17:29]

This introspective moment emphasizes the deep personal satisfaction Wyatt derives from his passions.

---

Notable Quotes

• Wyatt: "It's a lot of nerds who are also athletic enough and want to do a physical sport." [04:38]
• Wyatt: "We smoked them. America. I didn't bring home a single category where we didn't bring home gold." [08:50]
• Wyatt: "I've been dating a girl for about three years now... I think I've decided I want to make her ring." [19:04]
• Wyatt: "To keep doing this as long as I can until I die. All of it." [17:29]

---

Insights and Conclusions

Throughout the episode, Lyle and Wyatt offer a multifaceted view of armored combat, portraying it as more than just a sport. It's a blend of historical reenactment, physical endurance, and a tight-knit community that values both competition and camaraderie. Wyatt's dual role as a blacksmith and combat participant underscores the intricate balance between craftsmanship and athleticism required to excel in this field.

The conversation also sheds light on personal growth, highlighting how specialized interests like armored combat can shape one's lifestyle, relationships, and sense of purpose. Wyatt's introspections about past decisions and future aspirations add depth to his character, making the episode not just an exploration of a niche sport but also a narrative about passion, dedication, and personal fulfillment.

---

Conclusion

"I ENGAGE IN ARMORED COMBAT" is a richly detailed episode that offers listeners an in-depth look into the world of armored combat. Through Wyatt's experiences and insights, the episode effectively captures the essence of the sport, the community it fosters, and the personal journeys of those who dedicate themselves to it. Whether you're a seasoned fan or new to the concept, this episode provides a comprehensive and engaging narrative that highlights the unique blend of tradition, athleticism, and camaraderie that defines armored combat.

Transcript

[Lyle]

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[Wyatt]

How crispy are the new Deli Mex Crispy Quesadillas? Let's see. I'm gonna pop one in the microwave. Yeah, Deli Meg's Crispy Quesadillas are crispy. Even from a microwave, I can already smell it. Heads up. If you hate loud crunching, you might want to mute.

[Lyle]

Mmm.

[Wyatt]

So crispy. Like, barely hear myself think crispy. These should come with a warning. If this crispiness is making you hungry, get to your closest grocery store. For Deli Mex Crispy Quesadillas in the frozen aisle.

[Dale]

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[Lyle]

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[Dale]

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[Lyle]

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[Dale]

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[Lyle]

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[Dale]

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[Lyle]

Hello.

[Derek]

Hi. How you doing?

[Lyle]

Hey. Hey, hey. Hey. What's your name?

[Derek]

Wyatt.

[Lyle]

Wyatt. What's up, Wyatt? How you doing?

[Derek]

Not much. How you doing?

[Lyle]

I'm chilling. I'm being a gecko, and I'm. I'm truly, honest to God, looking forward to talking to people on the phone today and seeing what's up. And that brings us into my next question, which is, what's up?

[Derek]

Not a whole lot. I'm just finishing up a little bit of work in my shop.

[Lyle]

Is there anything in particular you wanted to talk about today?

[Derek]

No, I. Not particularly. I'm a blacksmith.

[Lyle]

What. What's going on? As a blacksmith?

[Derek]

So right now, I'm fixing armor. I'm in a group that does armored combat.

[Lyle]

You're in a group that does armored combat?

[Derek]

Yes, sir.

[Lyle]

Like, you and a bunch of your boys get together and take and fucking smack each other with actual swords.

[Derek]

So it's an axis.

[Lyle]

Really does that. Can you not, like, get killed doing that?

[Derek]

I mean, I guess you probably could, but it's the sport. Like, so all the weapons have to be blended, and they can only weigh, like, a certain amount.

[Lyle]

All these. All right, so the swords and the Knives and in the axis that are all blunt.

[Derek]

No knife.

[Lyle]

Okay. Swords and axes, they're all blunt.

[Unnamed]

So the.

[Derek]

The rules of the sport are you can't stab, so you can't thrust. You can't intentionally hit somebody in the dick behind the knee, strike vertically down the spine or the back portion of the head. But aside from that, everything's legal, really.

[Lyle]

Okay. Do people get, like, really hurt doing this?

[Derek]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Lyle]

Have you really hurt doing this?

[Derek]

No, fortunately.

[Lyle]

What were you about to say?

[Derek]

I know. I was gonna say, I know a guy that broke his arm. He blocked an ax shot, stuck his arm up, and it shattered his arm.

[Lyle]

Jesus Christ.

[Derek]

A lot of guys blow their knees out, ACLS, because the armor weighs, like, 70 pounds. It's heavy. You know, you step wrong and, you know, you're. You're in, like, a judo throw. You step wrong, and every single tendon in your knee explodes.

[Lyle]

Now, what do you think it is that inspires most of the people who join this sport to join this sport?

[Derek]

Autism.

[Lyle]

100% serious?

[Unnamed]

A little bit.

[Derek]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lyle]

Why? What is the link between autism and armored combat in your. In your brain?

[Derek]

Well, so. So, I mean, it is a little bit of a joke, but only a little bit. It's a lot of nerds who are also athletic enough and, like, want to do, like, a physical sport.

[Lyle]

But why not? But why not? Just, like. Like, why not basketball or wrestling? Why armored combat?

[Derek]

You can't use a fucking axe.

[Lyle]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. That was a dumb question of me to ask.

[Derek]

Of course that wasn't a dumb question.

[Lyle]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let's get this straight. That was a dumb question of me to ask because of. No, no. All right. We're not being kind to ourselves. That was a dumb question. Of course we want to play the sword. To play the game with the sword. O. It was dumb of me to even suggest, to even wonder why people wanted to get into this. Because we want to hit things with swords. We want to kill each other, but not actually. That's why people play video games so that they can practice killing each other without the death. And this is a bit of a step up. Yeah. Have you ever hurt someone seriously doing this?

[Derek]

Yes. Yes. And I. And I cried after because I am. At the end of the day, I am just a little guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I blew someone's. I didn't blow his knee out, but he couldn't walk for, like, an hour afterwards. I. He was. He was bent over, and I Chopped just above his knee and. And it. It shut his leg off, and he just went down.

[Lyle]

Holy. Is he. Was he all right?

[Derek]

Yeah, after a while, yeah, he's fine.

[Lyle]

But do you play a lot of, like, high fantasy?

[Derek]

A little bit. I mean, I'm into, like, Lord of the Rings, but aside from that, I'm not super. I kind of feel like an outsider a lot of the times because I'm like, I'm not huge into Warhammer 40k or anything like that. It's pretty common.

[Lyle]

It's kind of funny that you just said you feel like an outcast because you're not into Warhammer.

[Derek]

Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, a little bit of the autism is, like, it's. It's an important feature, and the. The blacksmith thing is kind of my, like, hyper focus. But with most of the other fighters, it's D and D and Warhammer and whatever else.

[Lyle]

I respect the people in this sport because, yes, Warhammer and DND are traditionally very nerdy, but to take a step up and be like, no, let's actually fucking quit being a pussy and pick up an axe and fight me, like, that's awesome to me.

[Derek]

It's. It's something. I was on the. The American team. We represented the country for the international competition in Mexico this year. The first time in Mexico.

[Lyle]

And Mexican sword fighting, sort of. Yeah, that's badass. Keep going. Tell me the story.

[Derek]

So there are so in. Within the sport, it's boo herder, armored combat. There are dual categories, and then there are the group fights. So the group fights are broken up by 5 on 5, 10 on 10, 12 on 12, 16 on 16.

[Lyle]

Yo, a sick. Like, 16 on 16. Giant fucking sword fights. Yeah, that's sick.

[Derek]

Yeah, so I was. I was on the 16 team. You know, we fought it. There was a qualifying event beforehand. The best first and second teams made 5 and 10, and then third and fourth place worked together to do the 16. I was on the 16th team. We smoked. Smoked them. America. I don't think there's a single category where we didn't bring home gold.

[Lyle]

That's so sick.

[Derek]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Did it. So 16 on 16. Does that feel like 300? Like, does it really feel like a. Like, tell me more.

[Derek]

Yeah, well, it's five on five.

[Unnamed]

Not.

[Derek]

Not to change five on five. It's a whole different game towards. You know, you can count how many people you're. You have to deal with. It's like, you're in the one corner, you're looking at two guys, and then there's a third that'll be on your right. 16 on 16. It's a wall of men. And if you get in a bad spot, the refs don't stop it because they can't get to you. So in the five on five, if you. So if you know all of your boys go down, you're the only one up. If the enemy team has three up, they'll call it there. Just because you're not going to win a 3 on 1, you're just going to get broken in the 16s, that's not the case. So you can have 3 on ones everywhere and they're not going to stop it.

[Lyle]

Has anyone ever successfully as one man defeated three others?

[Derek]

I'm sure I don't know if it's happened to where the three were actively fighting at the same time, but I'm, I mean I know guys that have swept the entire like the entire opposite team before.

[Lyle]

That's so cool. Now normally in a traditional sword fight that I think of when there's like a war, you beat your opponent when they bleed out and die.

[Derek]

Yes.

[Lyle]

And I assume it's not like that in these competitions. How do you tell what does it mean to defeat your opponent?

[Derek]

So when, so in the groups when you go to the ground, you make three points of contact. You are out. Because historically the way you kill a knight is you put him on the ground and you stick your bodkin through the gaps in his armor and stab him to death. It's so because the sport is, is actually based off of tournament fighting. So you've got jousting on one side. There was a, A, a footman's side of that to where they were armored fighting with blunted weapons. And when they went to the ground, that was considered they're killed, you keep fighting.

[Lyle]

So this is really just like a. You have to knock them down using your weapon.

[Derek]

Either, either by successful. There's, there's a lot of judo that goes into it or pain submission to where you, you hit them hard enough that they, they give up, go down or you break their armor to the point where they can't keep fighting.

[Lyle]

So I got a question. Are you jacked?

[Derek]

No, I 6 1£250. I'm in corn fed, but I'm not jacked.

[Lyle]

Okay. Are you like, are you like strong guy?

[Derek]

I wouldn't say so.

[Lyle]

How do you usually do in these tournaments?

[Derek]

Fairly well. Fairly well. I mean I haven't been injured before and been on a lot of winning teams, but there's always Improvement to be made.

[Lyle]

What's your life like outside of armor? Battling.

[Derek]

So like I said, I've got a forge. I'm a kind of a blacksmith on the side. I've done that for a while. And part of that is to support it. It's making armor, fixing the other teams like the. The. My local team's armor, but I work in an iron foundry from a day job.

[Lyle]

You work in an iron factory for your day job?

[Derek]

Yeah. Iron foundry.

[Lyle]

What is that? What is iron?

[Derek]

We melt steel and chrome iron to make big, like pump casings. Big, big industrial parts. Like the. Like the factory on Geonosis on the. The second load of Earth. Sorry. Star Wars. They're like going through the droid factory like that.

[Lyle]

Do any women play the. The armored battle?

[Derek]

Yeah.

[Unnamed]

Yeah.

[Derek]

There are women's teams.

[Lyle]

Are. There do. Are. There's not men versus women's teams, but there's women versus women teams.

[Derek]

Women versus women. There aren't as many, but there still are some, and they are tough.

[Lyle]

All right, so you said there's an international. No, go ahead. Sorry. I want to let you finish your thought, actually.

[Derek]

Oh, no, no. I. I was. I was interested.

[Lyle]

You said this is an international competition and America won. America, usa. Let's go. What? Who was number two? Can I guess?

[Derek]

Guess.

[Unnamed]

We were.

[Derek]

You going to guess?

[Lyle]

Yeah, hold on. Sweden?

[Derek]

No.

[Lyle]

Finland.

[Unnamed]

They were.

[Derek]

They were present, but no, they actually got their armored. Not stolen, but the. The. The Mexican customs wouldn't give it to them because they thought they stole it from a museum because they didn't know what the sport was. And there was a language barrier and they couldn't communicate that they needed their stuff back.

[Lyle]

All right, can I get one more guess?

[Derek]

Go for it.

[Lyle]

Japan also.

[Derek]

No, unfortunately. I don't think they had a team this year.

[Lyle]

All right, hit me.

[Derek]

I don't remember.

[Lyle]

You don't remember? Why'd you make me guess if you don't remember?

[Derek]

Hey, you. You wanted to guess. I wasn't gonna stop.

[Lyle]

You said. Hold on. The second I said, can I guess? You should have just been like, you can guess, but I don't remember. If you told me you don't remember, I wouldn't have guessed.

[Derek]

Well, if you said the right thing.

[Lyle]

Would have remembered that you don't have the answer to.

[Derek]

I'm not gonna stop you. If you want to guess, I'm not gonna stop you. Go for it. I'm. I'm just here to. To hear what you have to say.

[Lyle]

That was such bullshit. You don't remember?

[Derek]

No. When did this happen May of this year. So USA was first. I think Brazil took third in the five on five.

[Lyle]

Okay.

[Derek]

Now, if we're talking in the 16s, the category I fought in, it was USA, France, and then I think the Ukrainian team.

[Lyle]

Russia, was gonna be one of my guesses. Although I don't know if they're, like, embargoed from funny sports.

[Derek]

Yeah, they're. Yeah, they're. They're on the no fly list currently.

[Lyle]

Okay. So I'm trying to think if I have any other questions for you. Okay. Your life. Do you have a life outside of making steel things?

[Derek]

Not really.

[Lyle]

I don't think. I really. I genuinely don't think you need one. I think you have. You have. You're com. You strike me as a full, complete human being.

[Derek]

I. I think that's kind of generous, but I mean it. A little tall to be a dwarf. This is unfortunate.

[Lyle]

What would make you. What would make you more complete of a human being?

[Derek]

I think if I was a dwarf, like a. Like a fancy dwarf, that would. That would be the icing on the cake.

[Lyle]

Why don't you just be fancy as you are?

[Derek]

Wait, what?

[Lyle]

Why don't you just be fancy as you are?

[Derek]

No, no, I'm saying I want to be a dwarf. I. I do all this metal. I want to be a dwarf like Gimli. I want to begin.

[Lyle]

What's your ultimate dream before you die?

[Derek]

To keep doing this as long as I can until I die. All of it.

[Lyle]

What is something you haven't made yet that you want to make?

[Derek]

A good decision.

[Lyle]

Really? What, you don't feel like you've made a lot of good decisions?

[Derek]

I think I've made a lot of bad ones.

[Lyle]

Like what?

[Derek]

And sometimes that makes most of them.

[Lyle]

Give me one example of a bad decision you've made.

[Derek]

I got engaged right out of high school.

[Lyle]

Mm.

[Derek]

And it was with somebody I didn't really know. Bennett. It didn't pan out very well.

[Lyle]

How long did it last?

[Derek]

Few months.

[Lyle]

Really? Only a few months?

[Derek]

Yeah. It.

[Lyle]

What?

[Derek]

It's a lot more common where I'm at.

[Lyle]

Where are you at?

[Derek]

Utah.

[Lyle]

Oh. Are you. Are you Exmo?

[Derek]

I am not exmo. I was. My parents left the church when I was a kid, so I was raised around Mormon, but I was not. But the girl that I was engaged to was Mormon.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Derek]

So there was a little bit of a cultural thing.

[Lyle]

Are you with anyone now?

[Derek]

Yeah. Yeah. I've been dating a girl for about three years now.

[Lyle]

How's that going?

[Unnamed]

Good.

[Derek]

I want. I think I'VE decided I want to make her ring. And that's. That's the only thing that's stopping. Stopping it from the natural progression.

[Lyle]

I think as a blacksmith, it would be a stupid idea to buy a ring. Making one is. Is way better.

[Derek]

It's romantic.

[Lyle]

It is romantic.

[Derek]

Romantic in the classical sense too. Yeah, it's. Yeah, that's. I didn't have anything to add, you.

[Lyle]

Know, because you have that advantage over most guys is that you can make jewelry you don't have to buy it.

[Derek]

Right. It's pretty cool, right?

[Lyle]

You know, it's not even like shitty jewelry. Like, I could make like a bead. I couldn't. I was about to say I could make a bead necklace, but I couldn't even do that.

[Derek]

So you're kind of being harsh with yourself, sir. That's.

[Lyle]

No, I'm not. I'm being honest.

[Derek]

Do we need? Do we need.

[Lyle]

I could not make a bead necklace. I have not said a single harsh thing about myself that wasn't true.

[Derek]

When has. When's the last time you made any jewelry? When's the last time you tried it?

[Lyle]

Never in my life. That's why I couldn't make it.

[Derek]

So then why are you. Why are you being so harsh?

[Lyle]

Not. I'm not. Like, that's like saying. That's like if I. Okay, like, if I told you right now. Hold on, Wyatt. If I told you right now that I couldn't deadlift 200 pounds, you and you said to me I'm being harsh on myself, I'd be like, what are you talking about? I cannot deadlift 200 pounds. I cannot make a bead necklace.

[Derek]

I think I would give you more room if. If you knew you couldn't do it, but you haven't done it, so you don't know. Harsh maybe isn't the correct word.

[Lyle]

If you. That's like. That's like. So I can't do a kickflip on a skateboard.

[Derek]

Well, a lot of people can't do that.

[Lyle]

Well, hold on. So why. Why. Why is that different from me saying I can't make a bead necklace?

[Derek]

Because I don't think a bead necklace is super complicated.

[Lyle]

That's because you make swords and rings. That's cuz you're. You. Why?

[Derek]

I don't know how to make a necklace either. I don't know anything about beads anyways.

[Lyle]

How'd you meet your girlfriend?

[Derek]

Tinder? Tinder. She. She was Mormon when she came here.

[Lyle]

That's cool. A blacksmith meeting his girlfriend on Tinder on Tinder.

[Derek]

She is a baker. We are. We have very.

[Lyle]

Oh, my God.

[Derek]

Medieval peasant.

[Lyle]

You guys have very. That's so awesome. That's so cool that she's a baker and you're a blacksmith. That's so cool. Do you know how many, like, software engineer people there are out there? Or, like, you know, some guy, like, he's a software engineer, his girlfriend works in, like, AI. Whatever the fuck plea you guys are. You're a baker.

[Derek]

That's the contemporary baker in the blacksmith.

[Lyle]

You're a baker and a blacksmith. No, the contemporary baker and blacksmith is a baker and a blacksmith. That's what you are. You. You are a baker and your girlfriend is a blacksmith, and you both are alive, existing, doing your profession in 2024, currently making you the contemporary versions of those things.

[Derek]

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. It is. She is a celiac, so it is kind of a. Kind of a strange combination. She works with stuff that can technically killer.

[Lyle]

Are you allergic to anything?

[Derek]

No. So the duality is lost on that.

[Lyle]

I'm gonna take questions from our live Twitch chat for you. You don't. You don't have to. You don't have to read them. I'll just read them out to you if the Twitch chat has any questions. But while I wait for the Twitch Chat questions to come in, I'm gonna ask you one more question.

[Derek]

Go for it.

[Lyle]

I'll try to think of one. Do you have a question that you want me to ask you? I hate that. Never mind. That's stupid. The stupid thing to say.

[Derek]

Again, you're being a little bit harsh.

[Lyle]

Why. But I. But it's okay. I would rather. Let me tell you something. I would sincerely rather live in the universe of truth than be nice. Than the universe of. Sometimes some questions are stupid, some things are bad, and some people, such as myself, cannot do some things. I enjoy the truth of this universe. Right now. If I. Here's the thing. If I told you that I was like, an idiot and I'll never achieve anything, and I just. If I just really beat down on myself, like, I'm a person of no value when I suck, I'd be being harsh on myself. But I guess saying that was objectively saying. What do you want me to ask you is objectively a stupid thing for somebody conducting an interview to say. And I believe that with full force. And I. I stand by it. I'm allowed to make mistakes and still be good at doing this. But that was a stupid thing to ask you, and I'm. You're not going to change my position on that.

[Derek]

The last. I'll let you have it.

[Lyle]

No, go ahead. You were going to say. No, no, I want to let you know you can say what you can say what you can say.

[Derek]

Hey, I thought. I thought you got questions. Thank you. To our questions.

[Lyle]

I want to hear what you were going to. No, I'm going to ask you plenty of the questions. We got questions for the chat.

[Derek]

But it feels like this is really bringing up. Bringing something up. There's some emotion here, and I'm not sure. I don't know what's going on.

[Lyle]

All right, let's take questions from the switch chat. All right. Somebody said, do you ever work with Damascus? What the hell is that?

[Derek]

No, I don't. It's. It's a. It's folded steel. You heat it up to where it's almost melting, but not quite. And then you hammer it together and you keep folding it, and it makes cool patterns. I do not.

[Lyle]

Someone wants to know how many. If you have any battle scars. Like, do you have any lasting scars from any of this?

[Derek]

Not from fighting. I do have a couple scars on my face, but they're completely unrelated.

[Lyle]

Yes. You know what? That's okay. You. It's so funny because if someone's talking to you and you have, like, a noticeable scar on your face and you're telling them about the fact that you fucking professionally make swords and do sword fighting, they're gonna be real bummed to hear that your scar is not sword fighting.

[Derek]

There was an older lady. I. I was standing in the airport with my helmet in my hands because I had to take it on because it. To meet weight bags, whatever. She looks at me. She looks at the helmet and she, like, leans in and stares at the scars on my face. It's like. So is that how you got those? Like. No, it's not. It's not a cool story. Oh, and she just, like, walked away.

[Lyle]

Yeah. You really gotta start lie. You really gotta start lying when people ask you about this.

[Derek]

I think.

[Lyle]

So what is. What's the truth? Can I hear it?

[Derek]

I hit my face with a. With a hot knife. I've got a line that runs down, and then I've got a cut in between my eyes. That was from a rifle scope.

[Lyle]

Okay. You said it's from a rifle scope?

[Derek]

Yeah. It's too close to it.

[Lyle]

Oh, like you were shooting. You shot a rifle. And then there was kickback and the scope smacked you in the face.

[Derek]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lyle]

That's a pretty cool story, too.

[Derek]

It's. It's a story.

[Lyle]

Were you killing something?

[Derek]

No.

[Lyle]

Why were you shooting a rifle?

[Derek]

I was hunting with a friend who's listening to this. So he gets. His story gets to be told in front of your audience.

[Lyle]

What were you trying to kill?

[Derek]

We were on a deer hunt. He shot at a deer. Didn't hit it. It was like the last bullets. Like, do you want me to try? I get it. I'm not used to shooting with scopes, so I got way too close to it and shot. And it cut my. Cut me open.

[Lyle]

Trying to shoot a deer, and then the gun kicks you back in the face. Feels like a real Elmer Fudd moment.

[Derek]

Sure does.

[Lyle]

Like, that's something that would happen if Elmer Fudd. Like, Elmer Fudd's trying to shoot and like.

[Derek]

Like the barrel bends around.

[Lyle]

Yeah, the barrel bends around. Yeah.

[Derek]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

And then what. What was the other scar from? You said from a knife?

[Derek]

Yeah, it was a hot knife. I was. I was trying to straighten it while it was hot, and I knocked it into my face.

[Lyle]

Okay, so it was welding.

[Derek]

Not welding, but it was. It was hot.

[Lyle]

Why was the knife hot? Because you put it in the forge, right?

[Derek]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Okay, so you were blacksmithing.

[Derek]

Blacksmithing, yes.

[Lyle]

Okay, so it is related.

[Derek]

It's related.

[Lyle]

Okay. Someone said. What's the. Someone wants to know what the weirdest thing you've welded is.

[Derek]

Well, I assume by welded means what I've made, because I'm not. I'm not actually a welder. I haven't met a lot of weird stuff. I've met a few sword swords for commission, and they've. They're a little funky, but not really any weird stuff.

[Lyle]

Someone wants to know. Let me look at. Let me look through these. Someone asked me if I ever tried to deadlift 200 pounds. I don't like the deadlift. I always feel like I'm gonna hurt my back. I just don't do it.

[Derek]

That's right.

[Lyle]

Someone asked, do you like your life the way it is now?

[Derek]

As much as I complain about that, I. I do. I. I think this is the life I was meant to have.

[Lyle]

That's nice.

[Derek]

Yeah, it's real sweet.

[Lyle]

Okay, hold on. There's a lot of people asking if you ever work with Damascus. Yeah, but you already answered that question.

[Derek]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Someone said, do you believe in aliens? I. I guess someone asked, what is your McDonald's order?

[Derek]

Anything that comes with a Sprite.

[Lyle]

Okay, one final question. Have you ever done a spinning attack? Like when. Like when you're playing Zelda and you hold b. You do, like, a Fucking spin attack. You ever done that?

[Derek]

No. No. I get dizzy.

[Lyle]

Hey, Wyatt.

[Derek]

Yep.

[Lyle]

Enjoyed having this conversation with you. This was. This was really nice.

[Derek]

Yeah, thanks for having me.

[Lyle]

Sorry I dropped my glove.

[Derek]

Oh, yeah.

[Lyle]

Thanks for having me. Is there. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about or say or anything at all that we didn't cover before we go?

[Derek]

Nope. Onto the next call. Thank you so much.

[Lyle]

Thank you, Wyatt. I like that guy. I want to make. I want to remake Skyrim, but when you go to the blacksmith, it's just that guy. And he's nice.

[Unnamed]

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[Wyatt]

How crispy are the new deli mix? Crispy quesadillas. Let's see. I'm gonna pop one in the microwave.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Wyatt]

Deli Mex Crispy quesadillas are crispy even from a microwave. I can already smell it. Heads up. If you hate loud crunching, you might want to mute. So crispy. Like barely hear myself think Crispy. These should come with a warning. If this crispiness is making you hungry, get to your closest grocery store for Deli Mex Crispy Quesadillas in the frozen aisle.

[Dale]

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[Lyle]

Hello.

[Unnamed]

Hello. How are we?

[Lyle]

Hey. I'm doing good, boss. What's your name?

[Unnamed]

My name is Dale.

[Lyle]

Dale. What a great name. Like the race car?

[Unnamed]

Yeah, like the. Like that car driver, the one that goes like left or whatever?

[Lyle]

Yeah, like the race car driver or like the fucking chipmunk from the Disney cartoons.

[Unnamed]

Yeah, that guy. One who likes the nut or whatnot.

[Lyle]

Yeah, yeah, he likes. We got you got a guy who likes nuts and a guy who likes cars. And then we got you. And I don't know what you like, but I'm gonna find out by talking to you.

[Unnamed]

I'm all about those, but I'd be more than happy to tell you more.

[Lyle]

What's. What's up, Dale? Is there anything in particular you called in to want to talk about today?

[Unnamed]

I mean, so far it seems like we've had a pretty good following and just like talking like jobs and careers, so I think I might continue that little path.

[Lyle]

Okay. Yeah. What do you do?

[Unnamed]

So I'm a brand ambassador for a energy drink company. I'm not sure if I should actually.

[Lyle]

Say the brand ambassador for an energy. Okay, I'm going to talk to you for a little bit and then if I feel like it's right, I'll ask you to reveal what the energy drink company is, but let's keep it a secret for now.

[Unnamed]

Cool.

[Lyle]

What? Yeah, tell me more about that.

[Unnamed]

So like, my primary focus is like I drive like this big food truck that's been like souped up to, to like, I don't know, be like hip and cool with the young folk. And I pretty much just drive it around the country going to like music festivals, certain. Not trying to give too much away, but going to like themed events. I've done a couple comedy shows and do like tailgates for like big football games, things like that.

[Lyle]

Cool.

[Unnamed]

Pretty much just get out there and just pass out free drinks and stuff to people.

[Lyle]

How'd you. How'd you get the job?

[Unnamed]

So funny enough, I was actually working events and like helping build concerts at the local stagehand for a hot minute and eventually I got injured. I had a. About a 40 pound pelican dropped on my head.

[Lyle]

Jesus.

[Unnamed]

And got injured. Yeah. And so like it was one of those moments where I was like, just trying to heal up and I left that job to go do another job, which was, like, just transporting audio and video equipment across state lines and stuff like that. And over time, I lost my. My morale for that job. And by that, I mean I got fired. And from there, I was unemployed for a hot minute and looked into indeed and just typed in event specialist until I. I was hoping I could, like, get back into concerts or whatever. And I actually ended up finding a position for the energy drink company. And I was like, okay. Like, read, like, the description of the job and told myself, yeah, I can do all those things. Shouldn't be too hard. Takes, like, four or five months to get hired on. Get hired on. They tell me how much money I would be making, and it's nearly, like, double. Almost tripled what I had been making.

[Lyle]

Wow.

[Unnamed]

Prior years. So now I drive a big truck and pass out free stuff, which is, like, my favorite passion.

[Lyle]

That sounds. I. Dude, straight up. Not even. Just. Not just saying this to be wholesome or whatever. That sounds like a sick job, dude.

[Unnamed]

It's really cool and, like, the company's, like, standards and morals and whatnot. It's a pretty progressive company, but they've been like, they're a core energy drink company, so, like, they've been around for a long time. As, like, a kid, I always said, like, oh, I want to be sponsored by these people because I used to skateboard growing up, and now that I'm working for him, I'm like, I'm finding out I'm kind of more sponsored than, like, actual athletes under this. This brand.

[Lyle]

All right, all right, Let me. Don't tell. Don't tell me what it is, but let me throw out one guess.

[Unnamed]

Okay, Take that guess.

[Lyle]

Is it. Is it monster Energy?

[Unnamed]

It sure is.

[Lyle]

Oh, that's so cool. You drive. You drive the monster energy truck.

[Unnamed]

Dude, I thought that's, like, the funniest part is I tell people I drive the monster truck, and people, like, their first, like, thought is, oh, dude, you drive a monster truck. I'm like, I do technically drive a monster truck. You're living this thought that, like, I drive this, like, huge, massive, like, sports truck, when in reality I drive a food truck.

[Lyle]

You're living the plot of the movie Role Models. You know that movie?

[Unnamed]

Oh, dude, I remember that movie when it first came out. Have never been a big film guy, so I've never actually seen it.

[Lyle]

Yeah, they drive, like, a fucking monster energy truck. Or I have some energy drink. Damn. So you drive the. That's so cool. Okay, wait, tell me. Okay. Not for this to like, okay, I don't want this to turn into a big ad for Monster, but I, I'm just following my natural curiosity. You're telling me you like this company because it's got strong morals? What it, tell me, what does that mean? Like, Monster has strong morals.

[Unnamed]

The strong morals. I might have used the wrong wording there, but it's just kind of like everything that like I've always stuck to, which is just kind of like keeping more of an alternative and like a, I guess like an edgier vibe to things like you. Whenever I like, I got into the workplace, like my biggest problem is like, I'm pretty heavily tattooed. So like when I got in there, I was really worried that some of my tattoos, they were going to be like, oh, we can't hire this guy because, you know, he's easy added the up. But no, they told me that like my look that I walked in with was exactly what they were looking for for my position. They were. Sounds kind of weird, but like they were looking for someone who has an edgier and more alternative look for the role.

[Lyle]

Yeah, no, that's why, bro. That's who I want. Handed me a free can of Monster Energy is a tatted up guy named Dale dude.

[Unnamed]

And that's like, that's another like, great thing is like I was working this festival called Bridge Day up in West Virginia and like, I'll talk a little bit more on that in a second. But there was, there was a group of girls who had walked by. At one point they like pointed at the truck. They were like, that's what a monster dude looks like. And I was like, so like self fulfilled in that moment. Yes. I fit into this job role.

[Lyle]

That kicks ass, man. That's so cool. Right? Wow. So how long you been doing that for?

[Unnamed]

So I've actually only been doing it for about like five, maybe six months now.

[Lyle]

Is this a long term thing? Like, is this a career that you can like hang out at for five years?

[Unnamed]

So likely for at least five years because the brand that I work under specifically like the Monster, like sub brand has been around for almost 10 years. I think they started the program about five years ago. But if it ever goes away, they'll likely just move me off into like a different branding position, I would hope. Or they'll just make me drive a different truck, which would also be cool as long as I still get to like shoot up to events and continue doing my passion.

[Lyle]

That sounds like I, I really can't. Like this sounds like a sick job. How old are you?

[Unnamed]

I am 25.

[Lyle]

Very cool. Very cool. Now, how do you. Are you in the truck alone, or is there somebody else helping you out?

[Unnamed]

So, normally on events, we have local crews everywhere across the country, and sometimes they will pair me with one or two people, but there have been many events where I have gone out and I've just, like, solo sampled. So, like, most of the events that I've solo sampled, we're looking at, like, a population of like, maybe four to 7,000 people. But, like, Bridge Day is a great example of that. Was an attendance of 200,000 patrons. Now I feel like I had two.

[Lyle]

Sorry, go ahead. Sorry, Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

[Unnamed]

Okay, okay, okay, fine. But I had two other guys with me that day because, I mean, dude, we were just. We were slammed the entire day. It was a wonderful time. Absolutely love being that busy, being able to serve that many people. But without the other two guys, I would have been swamped and probably would have drowned in that moment.

[Lyle]

So cool. So I feel like. Tell me. Tell me what your interactions with these people have been like, because I assume that people who are, like, at a music festival on drugs or drunk or whatever, getting a free thing from you are probably in a good mood.

[Unnamed]

So. Dude, it's, like, actually really polarizing. And, I mean, it's one of the reasons I love the job. I'm a huge people person. So, like, there's so many people that come up and, like, we've attended the event, like, years prior, and they come up and they're like, yo, no way. The monster truck.

Dude, we missed you guys.

Like, we. We've been looking around for you all day. And, like, that's always, like, such a good feeling because, like, they always leave with, like, smiles on their face and, like, we fucking love you.

Oh, you guys are great.

And I mean, that's always, like, the sunshine of, like, an event for me. And then there's also people who come by and they just don't know about the brand. And I tell them on the brand, and, you know, they leave away with a little bit or they walk away with a little bit of knowledge of, like, the drink itself, how the can looks, so they can find it in store. And also they get to try the flavor, and they can give me, like, positive or negative feedback on it. I always appreciate it because I drink some of the things sometimes, but. And then you have people who walk up and they're like, I drink. I drink dark coffee, and dark coffee only. I'm drinking in black. Don't offer me nothing else. I'm like, okay, yeah, no, it's free.

[Lyle]

You ask people. Oh, people think that you're trying to like, sell it or whatever.

[Derek]

Dude.

[Unnamed]

Dude, that's the biggest, that's the biggest problem with the job. And like, I'm doing, I'm working on ways right now to like, kind of get around like, people like, seeing my truck. Because I was actually just in Miami not long ago for Art Basel.

[Lyle]

Cool.

[Unnamed]

And I, I was like, pretty much just posted up on the side of the sidewalk. So like, people would see my food truck with canopy open and they would, they would see the truck and they'd go, oh, that guy's gonna try to sell me something. And they would cross the street completely.

[Lyle]

Huh.

[Unnamed]

Like, I saw it all day long for like five days, like where people would like make eye contact with the truck, go, uh, uh huh. And then would just cross the street.

[Lyle]

Little do they know they could have gotten something for free.

[Unnamed]

Dude. And that's the thing. People walk by all the time and they'll try to ignore me. You know, like whenever people try to talk to you and I like the mall kiosk, they're like, hey, man, can I clean your shoes? And you're like, just keep walking. And they won't notice. I, you know, I always try to like, offer up like, hey, would you like a complimentary monster? And if they keep walking, I'm like, okay, I don't, I don't understand how you don't like free stuff. And they're like, wait, hold up, did you say it free? And they snap back around real fast and come grab something.

[Lyle]

So you said this is like, it's like a sub brand of. Because you're. Well, okay, a couple things. One, you said that people like, give you feedback on the flavors. Do you like, send your feedback to Monster hq? Like, are you single handedly influencing the taste of Monster energy drink?

[Unnamed]

No. If that was the case, there would be a Chai Monster. So I don't work under Monster Green, like the standard, like monster. I work for the copy brand, the java side.

[Lyle]

Oh, you work for Java Monster?

[Unnamed]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Okay, let me. All right. I have, I have actually opinions about Java Monster. Here's the thing. I though I. There's been like one or two. I've had a Java Monster maybe one or two times in my life. And when I wake up, there's been times where like I wake up from a nap and I'm just like insanely groggy and dehydrated and I drink a Java Monster. And I'm like, this is the most fucking delicious thing I've ever had. And then I look and I'm like, oh, there's about 300 grams of sugar in this fucking can.

[Unnamed]

Yeah, see, that's. That's the bad side about trying to market it to older people. Not calling you Old Vile. Happy birthday, by the way. But, you know, a lot of young people, like 16 to like 20, they're not really looking for those labels. They don't really care. But we make it super sweet with real cream, real sugar and everything else so that younger people will like it. And, you know, a lot of older folk will come by and be like, it's got like 60 grams of sugar in it. I'm like, yeah. I mean, that's what the kids like. But yeah, no, it has a. It has a lot of sugar. But another thing that I have to tell people, because a lot of people have the misconception that Monster Java is just like the standard energy drink, but we make it coffee flavored. And it's not that. It's like.

[Lyle]

No. Oh, yeah. No, no, it's not. Yeah. If you just. If you just put like. If you just took like coffee with cream in it and then you poured monster energy into it, that would be disgusting.

[Unnamed]

Absolutely.

[Lyle]

Well, that's hilarious that you work for Java Monster. Okay, let me ask you this. How many of those. Because how many of those do you drink a day? Because if the answer is you drink at least one a day, I have to assume that you've significantly shortened your lifespan.

[Unnamed]

So fun story, and like, kind of ironic is I don't really drink a lot of the Monster products. I don't drink, like any energy drinks for that matter. I have a little bit of a Coca Cola problem. I love a good soda, but it's just a little too much caffeine for me. I get jittery and anxious.

[Lyle]

Do you drink while you're on the job?

[Unnamed]

I'll drink one every now and then because, like, sometimes I'll be posted up for like eight or nine hours. So, like, I'll. I'll grab a water. I might drink half of a coffee. Because I mean, truly, like the javas, I do think that they're all really good. It's just. I know I cannot handle drinking an entire one.

[Lyle]

Yeah, they're delicious. They're just like fucking like 500 calories or whatever. Are there good? This is a. This is not even. This is not a this. I'm just asking this of my own. Pure, like this is just for me. Are they working on, like, a zero sugar, zero calorie version of the Java Monster? I'd fuck with that heavily.

[Unnamed]

See, I have absolutely no idea. I'm actually, like, not that, like, deep into the program. I just. I'm just kind of like, branding out on event.

[Lyle]

This is cool. I love. This is such a fun job. Like, if I weren't doing what I do, I would love to do your job. That sounds so.

[Unnamed]

He's a green guy.

[Lyle]

Well, let me here. We'll say I'm going to let the Twitch chat throw some questions in there that I'll ask that I'll ask to you. What's your life like outside of driving the Monster Energy truck? Do you like life?

[Unnamed]

Oh, dude. I mean, personally, I'm a pretty depressive dude, but, I mean, I just play video games. I used to paint and draw because I before I worked for, like, concerts and getting into Monster, I used to, like, want to be a tattoo artist and things. And that kind of, like, falls into this position as well because I get to draw up on the chalkboards and whatnot. My truck. But I mean, no, man, I kind of, like, dropped a lot of my hobbies to focus on, like, just becoming more financially forward and more successful in my future, which is, like, kind of sad because you need, like, a good balance. But I'm so fucking busy at this point that, like, it's hard to balance the two.

[Lyle]

Do you feel like your job has helped with your depression?

[Unnamed]

Oh, for sure, because I get to go to work and actually do something that I enjoy every day.

[Lyle]

Yeah, I have to imagine, like. Well, it's funny because, like, traditional retail is, like, miserable for so many people, but what you're doing, just, like, handing out for free and getting to talk to people and whatnot, seems like it's nice.

[Unnamed]

Oh, dude, it's such a pleasure in my eyes because, like, it's mo 95 of the time, it's just smiles.

[Lyle]

Okay. Somebody said, what's Monster's mission statement?

[Unnamed]

You know, that's a crazy question. I have no idea.

[Lyle]

Have you ever scored a chick's number from doing this?

[Unnamed]

I am very happily in a committed relationship. There could definitely have been times. I probably could have, but it's not really my goal focus while working my job.

[Lyle]

My man. Has anyone complained about getting a free monster?

[Unnamed]

I've had a lot of people, like, I hand it out for free and they're like, why are you doing this? Like, there's some kind of catch. Because, like, I said, like, kind of Fish people in. I'm like, I'm not trying to sell you nothing. I'm not gonna tell you anything. Just come grab a can. It's absolutely free. And people are like, there's no way it's free. Why are you doing this? And I can't, like, really look at our. Our clients, like, our patrons face to face and be like, we're doing it because it's really good for branding. But, I mean, that's essentially what it is.

[Lyle]

Well, why. Why. Why wouldn't you. Why wouldn't you. I think that's a fair truth to say. Why don't you look, that. That. That's. That's a solid truth. We're giving away for free for marketing. That's the truth.

[Unnamed]

The thing is, a lot of companies would. Would prevent going out that way. I mean, there's a lot of radical companies that are very much that way. But I think in our vision of doing our marketing was we don't want to seem desperate to get rid of our stuff, because, I mean, at the end of the day, we are handing out thousands upon thousands of dollars for absolutely free.

[Lyle]

Someone wants to know, have you experienced any road range. Have you experienced any road rage in the Monster truck?

[Unnamed]

Oh, dude, I don't want to, like, get rid of. I don't know if, like, any of my bosses or co workers will ever hear this. So, like, I'm going to say this. Driving in Miami was terrible. Not gonna. Not gonna go much deeper than that. But if you've ever driven in Miami, you probably understand what I mean.

[Lyle]

How much deeper can you really get on that?

[Unnamed]

Very. Very.

[Lyle]

Is Monster a demonic company? I have heard some rumors about that, dude.

[Unnamed]

Everyone at Monster, it's an absolute joy to work with the higher ups. Like, it's really hard to explain, like, feeling so comfortable in a workplace, like, getting it. And, like, I feel like a bootlicker right now saying all these things, because I've always been like, man, screw major corporations. Tear them down. But, like, I don't know, man. It seems like everyone's on the same page at Monster. We all want to have a good time. We all want to do the job. The job has to get done. And, I mean, we go out to these events, and we're going there for the people there. The people at the events are what makes our jobs worth it. And, like, I've. Oh, go ahead.

[Lyle]

Oh, no, no. I want to let you finish.

[Unnamed]

I'll do all word bomb. And I have no idea what I was about to say, so.

[Lyle]

Well, someone Was gonna say. Someone said, this isn't. This is more of a comment. Someone's saying, I'm getting heart palpitations just listening to this guy.

[Unnamed]

What does that mean?

[Lyle]

Oh, because you. Because you sell. Okay. I thought you would think that was funny. Because you sell monster energy. Anyway.

[Unnamed]

Oh. Oh, okay. That. That makes sense. Yeah.

[Lyle]

Someone said, okay, this one. I also think. I'm not asking. I'm not posing this to you as a real question. I'm posing this to you as. This is also something funny. In the chat, someone said, do you think you have the ability to have children still, I guess, considering. But you don't even. You don't drink the monster that much, so you're fine.

[Unnamed]

Oh, yeah, no, I don't barely drink it, but also not really that interested in having kids.

[Lyle]

All right, let's see here. What's the least favorite event you worked for? Give me least. And then most.

[Unnamed]

So, I mean, that's hard to, like, really jot down. I would say that one of my least favorite things that I've done is doing, like, more like just passing out at, like, very, very small get togethers. I won't. I won't list anything because we have major contracts with people, but, I mean, one of my favorite things that I've done so far was working this one music festival called. What was it? I think it's Born and Raised the country music festival. And I'm not much of a country music kind of guy, but the people who were camping out there were such a good time to talk to and interact with and passing things out to them. They were just so stoked because most of them are drunk or hungover or doing some kind of drug. And they're like, you're saying, I can have this for free? And I'm like, yeah, dude, just take it. Get out of here. And they just, like, they'll come back three or four times throughout the day. Like, hey, man, the. You know, the whole festival is about to, like, really get going. I need something to keep me going. I'm like, sure, dude, I get it. So, like, being at music festivals where, like, there's a whole lot of people camping, waking up early in the morning, ready to drink a coffee, that's like. It's like a good sweet spot for me because I love music festivals. I love seeing people getting, like, super excited to go have, like, the time of their life for, like, a whole week.

[Lyle]

I have one. All right, I got one final question from the chat, and it's an important one.

[Unnamed]

Okay.

[Lyle]

Okay. They Want to know the Red Bull car? You know, the one with the big red on it?

[Unnamed]

Do you guys buy the Red Bull car while driving?

[Lyle]

Do you guys have beef with the Red Bull car?

[Unnamed]

I don't know if, like, other Monster people have, like, problems with them, but the Red Bull car, personally, whenever I saw it on the interstate, I spud up or sped up till I get next to it so I could, like, wave at them all goofy like. Yeah, because, like, there's no beef with me, personally, because I think, like, with Monster and Red Bull kind of being like the, the core giants of the energy drink world, I think there's like, a mutual respect. We're not really, like, competition. It's like a mutual respect between the two companies.

[Lyle]

I'm wondering if there's a way that both you and I can make money off of this phone call from Monster, but I don't, I don't think there is.

[Unnamed]

No, I'm pretty sure if, honestly, if a higher up. Here's this. There's a possibility I could lose my job. But it's such a cool thing to talk about.

[Lyle]

So, like, why would you. Hold on. Why would you. First of all, that's. Why would you lose your job talking about this on the podcast? You're giving a, you are giving free advertising 2 Monster Energy. Honestly, hearing you talk about this and talk about how awesome the company is, it's making me want a Java Monster right now.

[Unnamed]

I mean, please.

[Lyle]

And why would you, why would you get, why would you get in trouble for this?

[Unnamed]

I don't. Monster's a pretty specific. Like, you can go on Amazon right now and type in Monster Energy T shirt, and you'll get thousands upon thousands of results for that. Right? But the branding that Monster does is so specific. Like, you wouldn't understand, like, looking at the two logos of, like, which one is, like, the legitimate one? Because there's such tiny little details that Monster puts in there. Like, even, like, getting, like, our custom merchandise. They're like the drivers and stuff where the branding team is, like, super, super specific about who gets it, who can wear it, how the labels can be, like, put on there. Like, everything is like 20 to a T of, like, what is allowed in the company. So, like, I don't know, maybe talking and trying to brand over the phone. I, I.

[Lyle]

This. Hold on, hold on. But this conversation is not an attempt to brand. This is just a conversation that you and I are having with no corporate interest. I mean, except for, except for the, except for the ads that I am going to put in this podcast. But other than that.

[Unnamed]

Cool. Yeah. I mean, if it happens, it happens. But if it doesn't, you know, keep living my best life at Monster Energy.

[Lyle]

I predict that you will be fine no matter what happens to you.

[Unnamed]

Cool.

[Lyle]

I hope the same for myself and everyone listening.

[Unnamed]

I agree. I agree. Well, here, Lyle, let me ask you one more question, all right? Do you have anything to say to the people over their phones and mobile devices?

[Lyle]

No. Nothing I haven't said already a thousand times. Do you?

[Unnamed]

Fair enough. If you don't like your job, please find something in your weird niche that may fit into it or keep looking for better. Because realistically, if you work a job that you're not happy in, you are just setting yourself up for a career that you will not be happy in.

[Lyle]

Finally, do me a favor, Dale, if you. I don't. If you ever see me make an Instagram post that I'm retiring the Therapy Gecko podcast, please hit me up and let me know if there's any positions available to drive the monster truck.

[Unnamed]

Dude, I mean, honestly, if you. Whenever you go back on tour, probably in like 20, 26 or whatever, right? I'll meet up with you after the show. I've seen you twice now.

[Lyle]

Oh, you have?

[Unnamed]

I didn't meet up with you at either of the two shows because I was like, that line is crazy. And I feel like.

[Lyle]

Which two shows?

[Unnamed]

Nashville.

[Lyle]

Oh, cool. Oh, cool. All right, cool, Cool, man. Yeah, next time. Next time I come to Nashville, pull up on the truck.

[Unnamed]

Honestly, I could actually possibly talk to marketing about that, but, yeah, I'll definitely see what's going on. If not, I'll just come talk to you, Dale.

[Lyle]

God bless you. Keep doing great work out there and I'll talk to you in another life.

[Unnamed]

SpaceX. Eck. Also, happy birthday, dude.

[Lyle]

Hey, thanks, man. Take care.

[Unnamed]

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[Wyatt]

How crispy are the new Deli Mex Crispy Quesadillas? Let's see. I'm gonna pop one in the microwave. Yeah, Delimax Crispy Quesadillas are crispy even from a microwave. I can already smell it. Heads up. If you hate loud crunching, you might want to mute so crispy. Like barely hear myself think crispy. These should come with a warning. If this crispiness is making you hungry, get to your closest grocery store for Deli Mex Crispy Quesadillas in the frozen aisle.

[Dale]

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[Lyle]

Hello.

[Unnamed]

Hello.

[Lyle]

Hey. What's your name?

[Unnamed]

I'm Derek.

[Lyle]

Derek. What's up, Derek? How you doing?

[Unnamed]

I'm doing pretty good, dude. Happy birthday.

[Lyle]

Oh, thanks, man. I appreciate that. It is. It is. At the time of this recording, my birthday, I'm turning. I'm turning 27. I feel good about 27. That feels like a good age. I feel my. I remember being like 13 and thinking 27 was really old, and I feel pretty. I feel pretty young, actually. I feel pretty young.

[Unnamed]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

How old are you?

[Unnamed]

I'm 27 as well, actually.

[Lyle]

Oh, okay. All right. Well, maybe, yeah, maybe this is a good call to have on my birthday and we can talk. Talk, talk. Two, seven. How's your, how's your experience of being 27 going?

[Unnamed]

You know, it's pretty good. But at this age, it kind of like was the point where, like, I don't know, it seems like I've become more conscious. I've become more like, you know, I feel like I should, how do I say, be less of a Dumbass.

[Lyle]

Oh, okay. Well, let's get into that. What. What do you. I mean, two questions. What do you say you feel like you should be more conscious? What do you feel like you should be more conscious of? And. And what does not being a dumbass look like?

[Unnamed]

So it's more of the not being a dumbass part, I guess.

[Lyle]

Like, okay, you're trying to be conscious of not being a dumbass. So what is not being.

[Unnamed]

Yes, exactly. Exactly.

[Lyle]

What does not be a dumbass look like?

[Unnamed]

One solid example of not being a dumbass is. So I went to school and I had student loans, right? And I just was like, ah, yeah, that's not real. I don't, I don't have to pay that, you know, And I, you know, just forget about it for many years. I probably. It's been probably since 2017 that I got out of college and I just started paying it back this year.

[Lyle]

What do you do?

[Unnamed]

I am a welder. Welder and fabricator.

[Lyle]

Oh, that's so cool. That's like, you. You really have. It must be nice to, in the year 2024, have a job that was around in like the 1500s.

[Unnamed]

Yeah, something like that.

[Lyle]

Something like that.

[Unnamed]

I do it. I do enjoy my job, though. It is really cool and I have fun doing it.

[Lyle]

What do you make? You make swords?

[Unnamed]

I've never made a sword, but I could. What I actually make is industrial mixers. We're talking like. I mean, some of them you could live in. They're so fucking big. And I've made mixers for, like, anything from coffee to rat poison, McCormick spices, all sorts of stuff like that.

[Lyle]

Now at 27, do you feel young or old?

[Unnamed]

I still feel pretty young, honestly. I mean, I don't feel that old at all. Like you were kind of saying earlier, like, it's not. Yeah, I don't feel old, really. And, And I wonder, as I do get older and older, will I feel old? Maybe physically, but not mentally. Hard to say.

[Lyle]

I was talking to my dad last time I saw him. He's about 66 or something like that. And he told me he remembered being my age and thinking about what it would be like to be 66 and how he could have never imagined it. And now that he's 66, he feels pretty good. And I'm inspired by that. I, you know how I feel. I feel kind of like I feel like I'm on extra credit mode. At 27, I feel like I have three more years to really roll some dice and around and do whatever until I turn 30. Like, I feel young. I feel like I'm not yet 30, and I got three more years to just keep it up until we get there.

[Unnamed]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

You know, if I. If I. If I plan my life correctly, if I execute certain. Whatever things or come to certain understandings or build certain habits, I could really, I think, have a. Have a better life in my 30s. I feel like I'm going to be reborn into some new person. That's what I'm hoping for.

[Unnamed]

You'll become an ethereal geck at 30, most likely.

[Lyle]

Who fucking knows? But I know whatever it is, it's hopefully not. Hopefully it's something ethereal. Right. Right. Well, listen, man, I. I'm. I'm just wanted to give you the opportunity. I don't know if you called in to talk about anything particular.

[Unnamed]

Oh, I mean, I have a couple things. I write down stuff every once in a while if I think it'd be cool to talk to you about.

[Lyle]

Cool, sure.

[Unnamed]

Yeah. So I guess one thing is. So I stopped smoking weed as much lately, and that's actually part of repaying my student loan. I'm trying to cut shit out as much as I can so I can just throw large sums of money at it. And a dream that I had as a result of not smoking weed, I'm having more dreams, right?

[Lyle]

Yep. Yep.

[Unnamed]

Yeah, for sure. And so the other night, I had a dream.

[Derek]

You.

[Unnamed]

You were in my dream.

[Lyle]

Yeah. What was your dream?

[Unnamed]

So we were outside in the driveway of my childhood home, and we had a dining room table set up with a bunch of people. We were having a lovely dinner outside at night in my driveway, and we. And you were still wearing the gecko suit. And we were. We were talking and we had an emotional moment. Like, you know, we were talking and you were telling me something very. And, you know, I don't remember what the words were, but, you know, there were tears. We were crying. We were. You know, it was. It was a beautiful moment, though, at the end of the day, and we. We. We finished up that conversation, went back to the. To the table to sit down, and then somebody sat down next to us, and he was kind of just a guy with a comically large chin. And I looked over at him and said, who the hell are you supposed to be, Jay Leno? And we laughed really hard. Whether or not that's actually funny, we laughed really hard at that. Mm. And then I woke up.

[Lyle]

Do you feel like, okay, haven't that enough? Now that we're talking on the phone in real life, is Is the conversation that we've been having anything close to the conversation that we had in. In your dreams?

[Unnamed]

I would say not the. You know, not the emotional part, you know, because we're not. We're not getting too deep into the. Into the weeds of that right now, you know, but it.

[Lyle]

You.

[Unnamed]

It is very much the same vibe, I suppose.

[Lyle]

It sounds like you and I were, like, on MDMA in the stream or something like that. We were really spilling our guts to each other.

[Unnamed]

Yeah, that's kind of the vibe of it, honestly.

[Lyle]

That's interesting.

[Unnamed]

Another thing.

[Lyle]

Yeah, go ahead, Go ahead. I was gonna ask who else was at the dinner table if you. If there was anyone else.

[Unnamed]

There was. Yeah, there was other people. Other costumed people at this. Yeah.

[Lyle]

Yeah. So who were the. Who were the other. Who were the other costumes?

[Unnamed]

God, I don't remember. The only specific one that I remember is the guy who pulled up looking like the Crimson chin and Jay Leno mixed together.

[Lyle]

It sounded like you. You know what? You know what this reminds me of? You had, like, a weird, like, where the wild things are adventure, but instead of big beasts, it's like dudes who look like me in animal costumes. You. You did. You.

[Unnamed]

You pulled away.

[Lyle]

You stopped smoking weed, and then your brain pulled away. The wild things are for sure, dude, man.

[Unnamed]

I guess another thing I've been interested in talking to you about is. Is Smash.

[Lyle]

Smash Brothers. Super Smash Brothers.

[Unnamed]

Yeah, dude. Yeah, dude.

[Lyle]

Some people who listen to this show may or may not know that I. Look, I'm not very good in comparison to what's out there, but I do regularly participate in competitive Super Smash Brothers melee tournaments, which I think I've been doing that since, like, for like a decade now. Yeah, I went to my first and so tournament, super smash con, in 2015. Go ahead.

[Unnamed]

So to people who don't know, also, when someone says what Lyle just said, they're actually really good at the game.

[Lyle]

Well, I'm really. Here's the thing. I can beat anyone who doesn't, like, actually play the game, but when it. When it comes to people who, like, actually competitively play the game, I kind of suck.

[Derek]

Right.

[Unnamed]

No, I. I know what you mean. I. And I used to kind of be at that level. I. I went to a. An actual major tournament once.

[Lyle]

Which one?

[Unnamed]

And also it was. Oh, God, I still had the lanyard. What the hell was it called? Paradigm Shift.

[Lyle]

Oh, you know. Which was that? Which year was that?

[Unnamed]

What would it have been? It was. God, I don't know, maybe 29. I got I don't remember what year it was, but it was, it was, it was several years ago though. And like who was there? I mean there was no like super duper like Turbo Famous top players there. But like there was. Myron was there and I have no idea. He's a he.

[Lyle]

You.

[Unnamed]

Yeah, he plays Ultimate. He's an Olimar player.

[Lyle]

Okay. I don't plan on places for Smash Bros. Ultimate.

[Derek]

Right.

[Unnamed]

I know you're. You're a million sweat.

[Lyle]

You know what's funny is where I like really alienating 99 of the podcast listeners by talking about a niche subject. But you know, I've all. I. There's lots of times where I'm listening to a podcast and people will start talking about like the Eagles or whatever and I don't know what the they're talking about. So it's fine, it's fine.

[Unnamed]

But, but you know, also there's, there's life lessons to be learned from, from playing Smash, you know, practicing something super hard, you know, and this is macro. Like of course like practicing l canceling is not applicable in real life. But like you know, shit. And huh.

[Lyle]

You know, I'm gonna let you. I'm gonna let you finish and then I'm gonna push back against everything you're saying, but go ahead.

[Unnamed]

No, so as far as like practicing something and you know, really getting into it to the point where you really understand it, I guess. Or here's a specific example. When you're practicing something in the lab for, for a long time and you're doing it and then you try to do it in a real match and it's totally different. And then that first time you find where that actually fits, you know, in a real match and you actually do it, it's like a religious experience.

[Lyle]

So here's my, here's my. I'm gonna play devil's advocate to you and then I'm gonna play devil's advocate back to my own devil's advocate.

[Unnamed]

Let's hear it.

[Lyle]

Alright, so yes, I've spent a considerable amount of time getting very good at truly honest to God, a completely useless skill which is playing competitive super Smash Brothers Melee. And it's even like getting really good at a video game is a completely useless skill. It's made even more useless by the fact that the video game I got really good at, nobody fucking plays anymore. It's from 2001. Like if I got really good at like Fortnite and I could be like a popular like Fortnite streamer or like whatever league of Legends or Dota or any of that stuff. Like, if I. Even if I like, like, it would be slightly better if I got really good at a game that people cared about, but I got good at a game that no one gives a shit about that and I'm about. About. And I'm not even that good at it. So if you're considering trying to learn how to play Super Smash Brothers Melee at a high technical level, I strongly urge against it because you will waste a lot of time.

[Unnamed]

It's not.

[Lyle]

Okay. Okay, so that's my truly. Hold on. Okay, so that. So that's my devil's advocate to everything you just said. And then here's my devil's advocate to what I just said is like, you know, sure, but like, what. What else are you gonna do? What else are you gonna do with your fucking time or your life, right? Like, you could sit here and go like, oh, I could have spent 10 years learning French, but whatever. Or you could have spent 10 years jerking off and going on your phone and not doing anything. So, I mean, just, you know, who gives a shit? You're gonna die, so just do whatever and it's fine. That's my counterpoint to that. I mean, I guess if you did. I guess if you spent the time learning something more product, like if you learn French, maybe you could go to France and immerse yourself in something and you have a rewarding experience and whatnot. But it usually it's not between getting good at competitive video games or doing something else. Usually it's doing something versus doing nothing and. And jerking off and eating food. Usually that's what it's not. So that's why, like, opportunity cost is not as interesting to me because the opportunity cost of learning a new thing, of learning a skill, even if it's usually not between learning some new skill and learning some other skill, it's usually between learning a new skill and not doing anything. So go ahead and learn whatever new skill you're going to learn, even if it is truly honest to God, absolutely useless. Like getting better at competitive Smash Bros. I mean, there's people out. There's people out there, like learning Gaelic or fucking, like how to speak course, or there's people out there learning how to, like, speak Danish like you can.

[Unnamed]

Apply in the real world.

[Lyle]

No, no, no, hold on. You gotta let me finish. These are not skill, like learning Danish and getting really good at Super Smash Brothers Melee are equally useful skit. Not equally useful. Learning Danish is actually. Learning Danish is actually about 40% more useful than getting good at competitive super Smash brothers melee, but whatever. You're gonna die.

[Unnamed]

How to learn stuff, you know.

[Lyle]

Hold on, let me finish. But you're gonna die no matter what. So who cares? Do stuff or don't do stuff. Okay. What were you. What were you. What did you want to say?

[Unnamed]

No, that's. It's good. Like, yeah, of course. Like, there are skills you can learn that provide you with monetary value and. And social value. But, you know, learning melee to a really high degree is also fun in. In the same way, kind of like you just said, you know, not that you're gonna make money off of it, but it's something. It's a way to learn how to learn. Just kind of an interesting thing.

[Lyle]

I still highly, highly recommend doing literally anything else. What's your name again?

[Unnamed]

My name's Derek.

[Lyle]

Derek. Derek, I enjoyed having this conversation with you.

[Unnamed]

Yeah, I enjoyed talking to you too, man.

[Lyle]

I'm sorry if this was. I'm so. I feel like this conversation was nothing like the conversation you had in your dreams.

[Unnamed]

It. Maybe it was better.

[Lyle]

Oh, you just. Are you just saying that?

[Unnamed]

Well, this is a real. This is the real deal, right? You know, whatever. Whatever happened in my dream was just something that I made up in my head, you know? Yeah, I like, you know, this is reality, baby.

[Lyle]

Derek, I love this. Even if. I love this. Even if your reality was not as good as your fantasy, at least your reality was real and there's something to be appreciated.

[Unnamed]

Right?

[Lyle]

Man, I like that. I like that. Derek. Thanks for talking to me about random for 20 minutes. Is there anything else that you wanted? Is there. Is there anything else, A, that you wanted out of this conversation that maybe we didn't have, or B, that you wanted to say to the people at the computer before we go?

[Unnamed]

Well, I mean, there is one other thing that's kind of interesting that I'd like to talk about.

[Lyle]

What is it?

[Unnamed]

And that is the fact that I have a medium scale glass dildo making operation that is going on in my garage.

[Lyle]

How did you get into making glass dildos?

[Unnamed]

So my buddy, he worked for a guy making these glass dildos, right? And the. His boss, you know, gave up the dildo crafting business. He was, you know, throwing in the towel and he offered my friend, he's like, you can take this, you can take the dildo business, and you can be the new dildo guy if you want.

[Lyle]

Very nice.

[Unnamed]

And he said, hell yeah. And I'm into, you know, glass stuff and everything like that. And I had the Space, you know, to do it. So he asked me, he's like, so, hey, can I, like, do this out of your garage? And I was like, absolutely. And so now that's, that's what's going on out there. But we also, we have fun, too. See that? The dildos are what bring in the money for them. But we also like to make marbles and little, little trinkets and shit like that.

[Lyle]

That's really cute. You're making big glass and tiny marble balls.

[Unnamed]

Absolutely.

[Lyle]

You have an interesting life, Derek.

[Unnamed]

Well, thank you. I think you have an interesting life as well.

[Lyle]

Just a couple 27 year olds who hopefully don't shoot their face off with a shotgun. Like that guy.

[Unnamed]

Yeah, that one guy who shot himself with the shotgun. I know. I know what you're talking about.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Unnamed]

I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it.

[Lyle]

You're not going to do it?

[Unnamed]

Should you.

[Lyle]

He's not going to do it all. You're not. All right. All right, all right. If you don't do it. All right. If you don't do it, I won't do it.

[Unnamed]

All right. Pinky promise?

[Lyle]

Pinky promise.

[Unnamed]

Right.

[Lyle]

Have a good one, Derek.

[Unnamed]

Absolutely. You too, Lyle. Thanks for talking.

[Lyle]

Thanks, man. Thanks for joining me in reality.

[Unnamed]

Absolutely. And you as well. Night night.

[Lyle]

No, this guy, this guy Lyall, the gecko guy, he will, he will not be joining the 27 club. I want to live, God damn it, I want to live. I want to live, God damn it. Oh, my God. I love, I'm. You know what? This. I love life, dude. It. I don't know why my, I, I, I just. To be, just to be, you know, frank with you people. I don't know why my brain continues to tell me that. Try to trick me into thinking that I don't fucking love life. I'm gonna name 10 things that I love. I love going on long walks. I love getting high. I love orange creamsicles. I love looking at dogs. I love drawing a picture on a piece of paper. Okay, five's good enough.

[Unnamed]

Every day, our world gets a little.

[Lyle]

More connected, but a little further apart. But then there are moments that remind.

[Unnamed]

Us to be more human.

[Dale]

Thank you for calling Amica Insurance.

[Lyle]

Hey, I was just in an accident.

[Dale]

Don't worry. We'll get you taken care of.

[Lyle]

At Ameca, we understand that looking out for each other isn't new or groundbreaking. It's human. Amica empathy is our best policy.

[Unnamed]

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[Lyle]

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[Unnamed]

Or even missing their flight.

[Lyle]

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