“I FOUND A SUGAR DADDY IN VR”

Summary

Therapy Gecko: “I FOUND A SUGAR DADDY IN VR” – Episode Summary

Release Date: July 9, 2025

Introduction

In this episode of Therapy Gecko, an unconventional podcast hosted by an unlicensed lizard psychologist named Lyle, listeners are invited into a unique universe where meaningful conversations unfold through a series of intriguing phone calls. The episode titled “I FOUND A SUGAR DADDY IN VR” delves into modern relationships in virtual spaces, workplace struggles, and personal life choices, all navigated through candid dialogues with real callers.

1. Amber's Experience: Finding a Sugar Daddy in VRChat

Timestamp: [01:49] - [17:35]

Amber's Story

The episode opens with Amber calling in to share her recent experience on VRChat, a virtual reality platform where she met a young man who quickly became her "sugar daddy." Amber narrates how innocent flirting escalated into sexting and a transactional relationship where the man offered to purchase her expensive VR equipment.

Key Points:

• Initial Interaction: Amber recounts meeting the man in VRChat three nights prior, leading to flirtatious conversations fueled by alcohol ([02:25]).

• Transactional Relationship: The man expressed a desire to buy her a wishlist of VR equipment totaling approximately $1,100 ([07:49]).

• Moral Dilemma: Amber grapples with the ethical implications of accepting gifts in exchange for her time, questioning the authenticity and future impact of such an arrangement ([09:05]).

• Host's Guidance: Lyle probes deeper into Amber's motivations and life satisfaction, challenging her to assess whether material gains outweigh potential emotional costs ([12:21]).

Notable Quotes:

• Amber ([04:13]): “Honestly, it was like some Eboy style thing. It was actually not even my type of thing, but he was pretty smooth.”

• Lyle ([12:21]): “Do you like your life?”

• Amber ([15:09]): “Yeah, no, definitely. It wouldn't be worth it.”

• Lyle ([15:40]): “I actually walk away from this VR chat related phone call more optimistic about the future.”

Insights and Conclusions: Through empathetic questioning, Lyle encourages Amber to reflect on her life satisfaction and the possible emotional repercussions of her virtual arrangement. The conversation underscores the importance of self-worth and the potential pitfalls of transactional relationships, especially in virtual environments where interactions can easily become impersonal and commodified.

2. Crystal's Struggle: Workplace Bullying and Self-Esteem

Timestamp: [22:33] - [39:52]

Crystal's Story

Later in the episode, Crystal reaches out seeking advice on dealing with perceived bullying at her new job in inventory management. She feels targeted by younger coworkers and struggles with self-doubt, questioning whether the issue lies with her or her colleagues.

Key Points:

• Job Challenges: Crystal describes inadequate training and being assigned to the less desirable part of the store, leading to frustration and feelings of being disliked ([25:05]).

• Emotional Turmoil: She senses negative conversations about her and grapples with whether she's being paranoid or genuinely targeted ([26:33]).

• Host's Advice: Lyle addresses Crystal’s self-esteem issues, urging her to assert her dignity and consider reaching out to HR despite her reservations ([36:05]).

Notable Quotes:

• Crystal ([23:20]): “I feel like I'm being bullied.”

• Lyle ([34:06]): “I'm developing a vaguely deterministic view of society...”

• Crystal ([36:05]): “You are 100% right, and 1,000% right.”

Insights and Conclusions: The dialogue highlights the complexities of workplace dynamics, especially when age and experience differences come into play. Lyle emphasizes the importance of self-respect and the necessity of advocating for oneself, even when it feels uncomfortable. The conversation serves as a reminder that workplace issues often require a balance of personal resilience and proactive communication.

3. Logan's Life Choices: From Mushrooms to Fatherhood

Timestamp: [46:54] - [73:04]

Logan's Story

In another segment, Logan, a 22-year-old from Oregon, shares his personal journey involving recreational use of mushrooms and marijuana, his career aspirations as a power lineman, and his recent marriage and impending fatherhood.

Key Points:

• Substance Use: Logan discusses his occasional use of mushrooms for recreational purposes and his struggle with marijuana dependence, highlighting its impact on cognitive function ([49:16]).

• Career Ambitions: He is pursuing a career as a power lineman, motivated by a strong work ethic instilled from a young age ([50:40]).

• Family Dynamics: Logan speaks about his traditional views on marriage and fatherhood, detailing his plans to raise his child in a structured, homeschooling environment ([55:08]).

• Host's Engagement: Lyle engages Logan in a philosophical discussion about life choices, substance use, and the balance between personal ambitions and family responsibilities ([63:24]).

Notable Quotes:

• Logan ([50:40]): “I am pursuing a career in power lineman.”

• Lyle ([57:05]): “You have a kid on the way?”

• Logan ([65:19]): “If every man on this planet could have a woman that has half the qualities of my wife, the world would be such a better place.”

Insights and Conclusions: Logan's narrative presents a juxtaposition of youthful exuberance and mature responsibility. His candidness about substance use and career goals provides listeners with an authentic glimpse into balancing personal vices with life-changing decisions like marriage and fatherhood. The conversation underscores the themes of personal growth, accountability, and the pursuit of stability amidst life's unpredictabilities.

Conclusion

In “I FOUND A SUGAR DADDY IN VR,” Therapy Gecko masterfully navigates through diverse personal narratives, offering listeners a blend of heartfelt storytelling and introspective advice. From the complexities of virtual relationships and workplace dynamics to the challenges of balancing personal habits with familial responsibilities, the episode encapsulates the multifaceted nature of modern life. Lyle's empathetic yet probing approach invites both callers and listeners to reflect deeply on their choices and values.

Post-Call Reflections

Towards the end of the episode, Lyle shares his thoughts on the conversations, expressing a mix of optimism and realism about human interactions and societal dynamics. He emphasizes the importance of understanding that much of how the world treats us is influenced by factors beyond our control, encouraging a balanced perspective on personal and external challenges.

Bonus Content Announcement

As the episode concludes, Lyle promotes a bonus hour of content available exclusively to premium subscribers of Therapy Gecko. This additional material promises deeper dives into conversations and exclusive recordings from live shows, enhancing the listener's experience and offering more intimate interactions with the podcast community.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Amber ([04:13]): “Honestly, it was like some Eboy style thing. It was actually not even my type of thing, but he was pretty smooth.”

• Lyle ([12:21]): “Do you like your life?”

• Amber ([15:09]): “Yeah, no, definitely. It wouldn't be worth it.”

• Crystal ([23:20]): “I feel like I'm being bullied.”

• Logan ([50:40]): “I am pursuing a career in power lineman.”

• Logan ([65:19]): “If every man on this planet could have a woman that has half the qualities of my wife, the world would be such a better place.”

This comprehensive summary captures the essence of the episode, providing key insights and memorable moments for both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Lyle]

This is an iHeart podcast.

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[Katie Couric]

On the latest episode of Next Question with me, Katie Couric. I sat down with Jasmine Crockett, Democratic representative of Texas. She's holding down the fork for her party in one of the most conservative states in the union.

[Jasmine Crockett]

I think that ultimately who will become the Democratic nominee for president will be someone that has been out there and has shown that they won't allow themselves to be punched and just say thank you like they will punch back.

[Katie Couric]

Listen to Next Question with me, Katie Couric on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[WebMD Host]

Hear insightful, entertaining discussions on today's important health and wellness topics on the Health discovered podcast from WebMD. Through in depth conversations with experts, Health Discovered covers everything from tips for healthier living to the latest on therapy and mental health.

[Amber]

My goal is to really destigmatize mental health treatment and looking at it from a whole health perspective, physical health and mental health can be intertwined.

[WebMD Host]

Listen to WebMD Health discovered on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Lyle]

Hi, what's your name?

[Amber]

Hi, my name's Amber.

[Lyle]

Amber. What's going on, Amber? How's life today?

[Crystal]

Doing good.

[Amber]

How are you? Gag.

[Lyle]

You know, I'm doing okay. Today was a bit of a crapshoot, but, you know, I thought I was done. I thought I was done with crapshoots, but crapshoots, I don't know if you're ever really done with them. But anyway, yeah, it keeps coming, but you deal with it, you manage it, you figure out how to keep going. Well, what's up, Amber? What did you want to talk about today?

[Amber]

I kind of wanted to talk about a recent situation I got myself into. So I recently got a Meta Quest VR headset and I've been playing this game called VR Chat and it's a lot of fun. Essentially, it's like chat room style. And I ran into a very interesting character the other night, literally like three nights ago. And I was a little bit drunk. I was drinking, having a time with a couple friends, and we ended up just chatting, kind of flirting a little bit. Well, flirting kind of led to a little bit more. Ended up doing a little bit of sexting, a little bit of canned stuff. And the night afterwards, he messaged me and was like, hey, okay, hold on.

[Lyle]

Hold on, hold on. I want, I want you to finish this. I want you to finish this story. But before you do, I have, I have a lot of questions.

[Amber]

This happened very quickly too.

[Lyle]

When you are, when you say that you were guys were sexting and doing cam stuff now, VR chat, you're. You're different characters, right? Like, was he Knuckles the Echidna and you were like Princess Peach? Like, what were. Or was it just like, were you. Were you sexting in character?

[Amber]

No. So if we took it to Discord.

[Lyle]

Okay, okay. Who was his carrot? Who was his character?

[Amber]

Honestly, it was like some Eboy style thing. It was actually not even my type of thing, but he was pretty smooth, I got to say, for a young adult. He was like 22.

[Lyle]

Okay. Can I ask how old you are?

[Amber]

I'm 33.

[Lyle]

And I'm curious why, like, did you. You never like, saw this guy's face, did you? And like, like when you, when you brought him, when you, when you brought. I guess, I guess, like this is.

[Logan]

The.

[Lyle]

Extremely online version of like bringing someone back home from the bar is bringing them into a private Discord server.

[Crystal]

Essentially. That's what it is.

[Lyle]

And what was it about him that. Yeah, but, so, but so I'm curious. What was it about him? Because I assume you couldn't see his face. What was it about him that attracted you to that point where you guys were doing that stuff if you didn't even know what he looked like?

[Amber]

To be honest, he was kind of sweet, a little flirty, but not like too heavy handed flirty. You know, you run into guys and they go like, oh, a little uncomfortable, sure. And I was also quite inebriated, so of course I let my body do the talking for myself.

[Lyle]

Okay, all right, so you guys were like sexting as real human beings.

[Amber]

As real human beings.

[Lyle]

And were you. Did you like, like when you answered the. Like, I guess when you do that with a stranger, right, like when you answer the video call, are you already naked or is there a little bit of. Hi, what's your name? I'm so and so nice. To meet you.

[Amber]

So not originally naked. It was super, super late at night. So of course, like in pajamis, but, like, not super, like, covered up. Did a little bit of talk. Talking of like, hi, how are you? This is me. This. You kind of see each other. And then of course, that escalated very quickly. And I don't know if you know much about VR chat, but there's a lot of personal toys that are long distance.

[Lyle]

Whoa, what? How. Tell. How. So.

[Amber]

There'S like, personal toys that you can download an app for and control from a distance.

[Lyle]

Okay. And so wait, so. So you have like a vibrator that. With an app, and you can. You can you. You're like, hey, download this app. And you can use the. But you can press a button that makes the vibrator work while he's like, in a different place.

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Lyle]

Crazy interesting. I feel like. I don't know why. Well, no, here's the thing is I feel like. Like if I was hooking up with someone and they were like, hey, in order for us to do this, you have to download an app. I'd be like, I'm just not gonna do it. I. I can't. I'm. I've been horny, and I. Let me tell you something. I've been horny enough to put my credit card information in with one hand while I masturbate with the other one, but I will not download an app out of horniness. That is where I draw the line.

[Crystal]

That's fair. That's fair.

[Lyle]

Okay, so tell me more about this. This situation.

[Amber]

So that happens. The next morning, I wake up, obviously super hungover. He messages me and tells me that he would like to buy me some gifts. I have, like, in my bio on VR chat that I am saving for Full Body trackers. And I was like, hey, I really.

[Lyle]

Want Full Body trackers. I'm sorry, full. What is. What are Full Body Trackers?

[Amber]

Full Body Trackers. Essentially, you can see entire movements in VRChat as opposed to just like hands or things like that. So it's a very, like, immersive experience.

[Lyle]

Okay.

[Amber]

So I make a little wish list and I say little wish list. It was essentially everything that I would need for a startup of Full Body trackers coming to about eleven hundred dollars worth of stuff. He messages me a couple hours later with a screenshot that he has purchased me my entire gift list and asked if I would come play video games with him that night. So me being who I am, I was like, okay, well, that's a lot. Felt a little Bit uncomfortable in a way, but at the same time, I was like, I kind of wanted all this stuff. So I have a bit of a moral dilemma there. Ended up playing games, and he's a super nice guy, definitely not my type. 11 years younger than me, so it's kind of weird, but I don't know what to do.

[Lyle]

You don't know what to do?

[Amber]

Yeah. Basically, when I. When I ended up logging in to, like, play video games with them, I definitely made it super clear that I was like, hey, I'm not. I don't want to, like, take these things with the intent of, like, being your girlfriend or anything like that. Like, essentially, this is a super transactional situation. So I will spend time with you if you buy me things. And he was like, yeah, definitely.

[Lyle]

Wait, okay, so it. You will. You will be. I'm sorry if I. If I'm getting this incorrect, but you said that, like, you won't be his girlfriend if he buys you stuff. But then you said you will.

[Amber]

No, that I definitely won't be his girlfriend, but I would spend time with him, like play video games or whatnot for compensation.

[Lyle]

You will. You will spend time with him as long as he keeps buying you stuff?

[Amber]

Essentially, yeah.

[Lyle]

And is that time implied by you to be purely platonic?

[Amber]

Yes.

[Lyle]

Okay. Why. Why do you want to spend time with this guy? I mean, is it just to get stuff?

[Crystal]

Yeah, kind of.

[Amber]

Like, that's where my dilemma is. Because I've never been that kind of person, and I had this happen now, and I'm like, well, would it be foolish of me not to take that if that's what he wants to do. So funny enough, like, I brought this up to my sister, and I was like, hey, this is what happened. And she's like, you know, that's like a kink. It's called, like, pay pig of guys who essentially just want to buy you things and you treat them kind of like shit.

[Lyle]

Okay, this guy wants. And you told. And you were. This guy wants you to treat him like shit in exchange for buying things for you. He's. That. He's expressed that to you?

[Amber]

Not in those words, but I've made my side clear on it. And he was like, yeah, no, I'm in. I'm game.

[Lyle]

Okay. What's your name?

[Amber]

My name's Amber.

[Lyle]

Amber.

[Crystal]

Get.

[Lyle]

I mean, get it. Get into this with me here, right? Because. Look, cuz, look, well, let me ask you. I mean, I want to ask you a few things. Genuinely is like, do you want. Do you want to. Actually, I'M gonna ask. I'm gonna ask you this straight up, Amber. You said yes. Do you like your life?

[Amber]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Lyle]

Really?

[Amber]

Yeah, 100%.

[Lyle]

Okay. Okay. What do you like about your life?

[Amber]

I love my family. I have a great home. I work hard. I'm very successful. What I do, I'm not like filthy rich or anything like that. I do well off. I have a great set of friends and a great support system. And obviously, like, it wasn't always like that in my life, but at this point in my life, I'm probably at the happiest I've been in a long time.

[Lyle]

Okay. Do you. Are you hoping to get into some form of romantic relationship at some point?

[Amber]

But I. I got out of a pretty shitty relationship about two years ago and since then have not really heavily seeked out one.

[Lyle]

Okay. So, yes, I. Well, I'm glad to hear that you like your life. That's good.

[Crystal]

Thank you.

[Lyle]

Do you. Do you believe that engaging in this situation, especially considering what you told me about how you seem like you're doing pretty okay financially, do you believe that engaging in this situation will improve your life.

[Amber]

Materialistically, potentially, but not in a, not in like a mental or emotional way?

[Lyle]

Do you believe it has the potential to deteriorate your life in any or emotional way?

[Amber]

Oh, yeah.

[Lyle]

Okay.

[Amber]

You never know with people online. Right.

[Lyle]

And, and would you say that it would. Would you say. And, and by the way, you know, these are just, these are all genuine questions to answer. You know, I don't believe in there being right or wrong answers necessarily to these questions, but would. Would the material enrichment of your life to the tune of eleven hundred dollars of VR equipment, be worth truly any amount of. Be worth a undefined, in your words, amount of mental anguish? If you were to, if you were to ask me, I would say no. Do. If you were to ask me, I would say no, but I don't live your life. If, if you were to ask me, I would say no, but I don't live your life. You live your life. And so you have to answer that question. But that's the question to ask.

[Amber]

Yeah, no, definitely. It wouldn't be worth it.

[Lyle]

No. So what do you do? Go enjoy your life. Get off. I mean, I tried to go. I, I try to be passive in these calls, and I genuinely do believe that to be my favorite way of communicating with people. But also in the back of my head, I just want to be like, get the off of VR chat. If you have such a great life. I mean, Jesus Christ, you know, so true.

[Crystal]

So true.

[Lyle]

Well, yeah, I mean, let this. I don't know what I, I don't know what's up with this. This, this 22 year old dude in VR chat who's like dropping. Well, yeah, well, well, it's. I don't know. I don't know where he's getting his money from. I don't know if it's. It's. I, it's not. Yeah. Anyway.

[Amber]

Thank you so much for the advice.

[Lyle]

Yeah, for sure. I've learned. Every, Every time I learn more about VR chat, I'm like, I walk away. Every. Honestly, every time I learn more about VR chat, I walk away a little sadder.

[Amber]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

[Lyle]

No, you didn't do it. No, no, it's not your fault even at all. It's vrch. Everything. This, this, this situation. I'm, you know, I have a vaguely. I'm develop. I don't, I don't think it's healthy, but I'm developing a vaguely deterministic view of society. And so the situation that you're talking about where it's like, like everything, this entire. The, the, the society that we live in, that's the basis of this phone call almost feels like it could have been inevitable. It was just inevitable. And now we're, we have to navigate it with our human consciousness and choice or we don't. Or we're. Or our inability to do so is inevitable too. Okay, I'm. Wow. I'm being a. I'm being a douchebag right now. Amber, is there anything else you want to say to the people, the computer before we go?

[Amber]

Stay golden. Stay golden.

[Lyle]

Beautiful. Okay. Good luck, Amber. See you later.

[Crystal]

Thank you so much.

[Lyle]

Bye.

[Amber]

Bye.

[Lyle]

That's what I don't get. I don't know. I don't know. Some people, dude, some people, I, and I, I genuinely meant it. I was genuinely curious when she, when I asked her if she liked her life. And I think she was telling the truth when she said she did. And I don't want to knock on people who, who play video games or spend a lot of time online, but I can't imagine that spending massive, massive, massive, massive, massive amounts of time online to the point where you're, you know, living in VR chat, staring at a VR mirror or whatever. I can't imagine that is compatible with being that happy with your life. But I, and I. And you know what, and you know what? To meet someone, to talk to someone who is telling me that you actually can spend that much time online and declare yourself to enjoy your life. That actually makes me happy. So I actually I walk away from this VR chat related phone call more optimistic about the future. I would. I would love to talk to the 22 year old kid and ask him the same question, but he might not even be real and neither may I alright, let's keep going.

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[Jasmine Crockett]

I think Democrats have, for a very long time allowed Republicans to play them. So essentially, Republicans, Republicans came up with a narrative, and Democrats decided to play into that, and that only hurt the Democrats.

[Katie Couric]

I'm Katie Couric. Jasmine Crockett, Democratic representative of Texas, is not known for holding back. And our recent chat on Next Question is no exception. But when you hear how she got to where she is, her intensity makes perfect sense.

[Jasmine Crockett]

It's just hard to imagine a world where you don't have enough people that care to do right by people. And so that same passion that carried me through as a public defender, that led me to want to change laws and thinking about the harm that will happen not just to my constituents, but just generally. Like, I carry that weight with me.

[Katie Couric]

Because you've seen it up close.

[Jasmine Crockett]

Yeah.

[Katie Couric]

Listen to next question. With me, Katie Couric on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Lyle]

Hello?

[Crystal]

Hello. Can you hear me?

[Lyle]

Hi. Yes, I can. What's your name?

[Crystal]

My name is Crystal. I'm gonna try to talk slow so you can understand me.

[Lyle]

Crystal, what's going on? Crystal? How you doing?

[Crystal]

Oh, I mean, in general, I'm, I'm breathing, I'm here, I'm alive. So that's good. Yeah, I've been better, also been worse. So I can't, I can't brag, you know?

[Lyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is, it is so interesting. Ah, God, I want to. You know what, Crystal? I, I, I was about to go wax poetic about the answer to the question of whether or not you're doing good, but it's gonna send me on a whole useless rant, so I'm gonna stop myself and I'm gonna ask you, Crystal, if there was any particular thing that you called in today to want to talk about?

[Crystal]

I guess. Yeah. So for the first time, I'm sorry, for the first time in my entire life, I started a new job, and I feel like I'm being bullied. It sounds ridiculous, I know. I hate saying word bullied because it's so stupid, but it's like I've never been a place to where people are just annoyed with my presence. Like, I know I'm annoying, but it's just, it's too much. So anyways, the reason I'm calling you is because I started watching you or listening to you or whatever while I'm at work. And you know, it seems like you are pretty good at what you do as far as giving just your opinion. And I need like a opinion on how to. Or what to do. You know, do I quit my job? Do I tell them to get. Like, it sounds so stupid now that I'm saying out loud.

[Lyle]

No. Well, well, I have a. I have a couple questions and also just an observation. I mean, first of all, the fact that you said I know I am annoying is like, you know, well, you know what? Okay, let's, let's, let's do this. Okay, so, Crystal, where your name is.

[Crystal]

Right, Correct.

[Lyle]

What's this? Job.

[Crystal]

Inventory. And let me do a little side talk here. Just so you know, I. It's hard for me to find a job. I have a record and it took me a long time to find a job. So just keep that in mind as well.

[Lyle]

You said you had, you have a record, so it took you a long time to find a job.

[Crystal]

Yes, yes, correct. I was on disability for a good portion of my life. And then, you know, so that comes into play too. So, you know.

[Lyle]

Anyways, okay, so. So you got a job in inventory and you're being.

[Logan]

Who.

[Lyle]

Tell me about. What do you mean by you're being bullied?

[Crystal]

I don't know if that's the right correct word or not. And it seems like a good word, but either way. So I mean, what I mean by that is I start this job and I am supposed to be trained. Trained, like in any kind of job, you know, But I just get barely trained and stuck in like the. This place of the store where nobody really wants to do the counting because it's, you know, just the annoying part of the story. So anyways, hold on a second. Sorry. Oh, to dinner. Anyways, and then they tell me, okay, well, you know, you gotta count faster and then you'll get moved out of there. Okay, well, three months later, I'm seeing people go past me and, you know, this and that. So, you know, I think I'll subject here. Yeah. Anyways, so while I'm doing my job, I'm hearing like, I can sense people, you know, when somebody's talking about you or you walk in on a conversation that's like, about you, and they just stop and you just know that they're talking about you, right? No, you know, I do, because, well.

[Lyle]

Well, I, I.

[Crystal]

Confuse you.

[Lyle]

No, no, no, it's, it's not that it confuses me, but go ahead. I want to let you finish.

[Crystal]

Okay. So, you know, it's not like in that person thought maybe, okay, I'm known to be a little crazy. Like on the books, whatever it comes, it runs in my blood. You know, it's my family side. But anyways, so maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just being paranoid and, you know, so I, you know, I try to be logical about it. I'm like, you know, just taking a step back. And as the days go by, I'm realizing that I'm not being paranoid, that I have, you know, confirmation that my direct supervisor is like, talking about me. But not only to my, the other employees, but like to other people buy churches. Well, it's not even like good crap. Like, it's nothing that's like, you know, anything exciting even. It's just like, you know, I'm basically. Because they're all a lot younger than me, so that doesn't help. You know, it's just basically just talking stupid. Like, I don't know, I can't explain.

[Logan]

It, but, you know.

[Crystal]

Yeah, sorry, go ahead. Yeah. And then, you know, and then it gets me feeling some type of way, obviously, you know, and I just, I don't know. It's weird. I've never been in a job to where I can't or any other, I mean, a situation in general to where I'm not able to, like, speak my mind. Like, usually I speak it more than welcomed, you know, or more than expected. And in this situation, it's like they made me, like, they made me feel bad, which is up. So it's like, do I quit until we them and then have no income and then it was the next year trying to find another job or do I just, I mean, where do you go from here? I'm not the type to really be like, oh, contact hr. Well, that's just not me. I'm not the type of person that does that type of, you know, I feel like.

[Lyle]

Okay, well, I, I, yeah, well, I, I, I, I have a few thoughts. So this is an inventory. Is this, is this, is this a job at a big company?

[Crystal]

No, we go, okay, so basically we go to like, Dollar Generals, Dollar Tree family dollar, and for some reason, tractor supply, and we count, you know, dip out there through all the products in the store.

[Lyle]

Is this a job? Well, okay, before, because we Were talking about hr. Is it. Is it a job with a big enough company that even. Is it. Is it a. Is it a job with a big enough company that they even have an HR department?

[Crystal]

Yes, definitely.

[Lyle]

This is okay.

[Crystal]

Definitely.

[Lyle]

Okay. You don't have to confirm or deny, but does the company start with an A?

[Crystal]

No, not. This starts with a W. And there's three letters in the. In the company name. Okay, yeah, I have the one to start with an AIs.

[Lyle]

And you're telling me that you. This place has an hr, and you said, I'm not the kind of person to go to hr. What does that mean?

[Crystal]

I just see, I'm an overthinker. And it's like I started, you know, thinking it. I'm like, okay, well, I don't want to be that guy that goes in towels on somebody. And like. Like, then I start, you know, I start talking about a lot. I'm like, it shouldn't be that big a deal. Maybe I'm just being dramatic or. I don't know. I started playing, like, those kind of games in my head. Like, you know, I don't wanna do something to be done, though. I feel like. I don't know. I don't know.

[Lyle]

By the way, it actually makes a lot of sense. And I understand because it's like, we don't. We don't live in. I think the. The older I get and the more I just think about things, I'm like, I don't know if.

[Crystal]

Well, yeah, well, I'm super old, too. So I'm like, I just turned 40, so.

[Lyle]

Well, I guess. Well, I'm thinking. Well, I'm thinking about, like, we don't necessarily live in perfect systems. Right. I understand where it's like, oh, you know, I don't want to go, like, tattle. And then things become worse as a result.

[Crystal]

They tell my supervisor I told on them, and then it just makes my job, you know? I mean.

[Lyle]

I do know what you mean. It's a completely valid, understandable fear. I know exactly. You know what you mean.

[Crystal]

Yeah. I mean, how old are you again?

[Lyle]

I'm 27.

[Crystal]

Okay, so you're significantly younger than me. A whole other generation, probably. So it's people, like, I would say they're probably around your age, get to take five years. No, my direct group I work with, I'd say six to 10 people, maybe sometimes 15. And it's just like, I'm starting, like, I don't know if it's just I'm too old to be around, like, to Be able to, like, I don't know. I know what the problem is. I feel like I need to fix it.

[Lyle]

Listen, listen, I just, I just. Chris. Crystal. Crystal. I'm curious about a couple. I mean, there's a. There's a. There's kind of a lot to this that I'm thinking about. Do you ever. Do you ever talk to a real therapist?

[Crystal]

Yes, I definitely have and probably realistically need to get back into it, but, you know, at this very moment. No.

[Lyle]

Okay, go ahead.

[Crystal]

Yeah. Because my mental health has been. Long story. My mental health is obviously. I feel like it's obvious, you know, needs to be reeled back in. Like I was doing really good with a couple different things wrong with me, but.

[Lyle]

Yeah, well, because here's the, here's the thing, right? And I'm like, I'm. I'm not a real therapist, but I'm just like. Well, yeah, yeah, obviously. But you know, I guess like, just like, as a. As. Just like I am. Because I'm about to. I'm about to kind of get in. I'm about to get into some armchair therapist shit right now.

[Crystal]

But like, you're good, dude. Like I said, I'm not trying to be, you know, be anything but I just figured that's why, that's why I called, you know.

[Lyle]

Sure, sure.

[Crystal]

I don't know you and I don't really give a. About you.

[Lyle]

I know exactly. I know exactly what you mean.

[Crystal]

You know, I mean like.

[Lyle]

I know exactly what you mean, dog. I know exactly what you mean. Yeah, I know what you mean. I know you mean. Okay, so. Okay, so then here's the thing. Here's my, here's my observation, right? Is a couple things. Is like, I mean, one, the very. When you first started talking, you were like, you said, you said, I know I'm annoying. And you said. Yeah, and the, and the thing about, like the thing you said where you were like, you know, when you enter a conversation and you think it's about you or, or like, and you know it's about you and the reason. I kindly agree with you on that in the first place. And I'm, I'm. This is total armchair therapy. But I'm like, in our conversation, in our conversation, I'm picking up little things that are.

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Lyle]

Telling me that are like signs of just ADHD anxiety. I was gonna say this like thing like, like, like low self esteem.

[Crystal]

Yeah, well, yeah, that comes along with. I mean, I guess I went too deep with that. I didn't tell you all that. See, it's just, and that's, I mean that's the reality of it though is that that comes from a lot of things and you know, that's why real therapy can be important. But it's just another whole nother show, you know. But you know, it's just like, go.

[Lyle]

Ahead, I'll let you talk.

[Crystal]

No, I thought I do is talk. It just, I just really, it's like I just woke up like a couple of months ago and was like, bam, now I'm old. And like I had my together as far as like, you know, being able to control my anxiety and you know, etc, and then it's just like what the happened. And now I'm to the point where I'm just like, what the. Is it me or is it these young folks? And then I get like, it's just a whole. Yeah, I was giving enough time to go into my whole whole situation. But I guess I probably should have got my answer out my question out before.

[Lyle]

No, no, no. Well, see, even just like that, right, Is like is I just to me, the, the, the thing is and, and this is like something to work out in like real therapy, right? Is like I think to even like, I think you need to have some form of foundation of like self esteem that allows you to be like, you know what? I'm not gonna, I'm, I don't care if these people are bullying me. I am not the problem. It's not because I am annoying or I am old or whatever. I'm showing up to do fucking work at my job. I'm doing like really just building the, in your head, the narrative, right? The narrative of your every day and the narrative of your life is should not be, oh, I'm annoying, I'm old. These people, you know, I probably deserve these people probably talking about me because I said that's that you like, you need to take that narrative and, and, and do it. So it's not easy. It's really, really, really not easy. But the process is just to take that narrative and replace it with I'm a fucking dignified human being. I'm showing up to work, I'm doing my fucking job. And I deserve to be able to be in an environment where people are not fucking with me, where I can do my job. And if I have to go to HR to advocate for myself, I'm gonna do it because I, I, I, I have, you know, I, I, I deserve, you know, and you. And that's what, that's what, that's what, that's that's what you got to do. Because the. The to that, that's. That's where your head needs to be at like every day with this, you know?

[Crystal]

You know, you are 100 right, and 1,000% right. And that's why I'm glad I called. Because, I mean, it's somewhere in my brain I know this. You know what I mean? Like, I know this and I know I can do that, you know, Like, I've done it before, but it's just like, you know, I need somebody else to tell me. So that's why you're awesome. Thank you. Honestly, it's just. And it's just, it's up. But, you know, it's like. And I keep, you know, thinking, okay, there's other jobs. But it's like. But why would I give them the pleasure of letting you know? Believe me, because they don't like, whatever about me for whatever reason, like, they're not gonna pay my bills.

[Lyle]

It's. Well, also, also, also, also, I. Here's something, Crystal. A lot like. Another thing is like so many of our inner. So many of our interactions with other people and with the world have fucking absolutely nothing to do with us. You know what I mean? These. These. This guy isn't like. Like, like you're like your direct supervisor. He's not being mean to you because of anything wrong with you. He's. Or he's. I don't even know if he's being mean to you because of any. She. I don't even know if she's being wrong with you because of anything wrong with her. She just has brain is just. You're right, her brain.

[Crystal]

She doesn't really, like, start the talking. She like, adds to it. You know what I mean? Like adds to it or like, doesn't do anything about it. That's been like the rest of her, like, dictator because she was uncle. I don't know. Whatever. Yeah, you're right. You're like a blind homboy.

[Lyle]

Right? We don't know. Right? We don't know. We don't know why she acts the way she does. We don't know if it happened to her when she was a kid. We don't know about what happened with her parents. We don't know about.

[Crystal]

She could just be a dickhead.

[Lyle]

And you know what? And she could just be a dickhead. She could have a good reason. It doesn't really matter. It's not really important to think about, but the important part of it, to grasp what. What, what, what the reason is. Is not that important. But what the reason is not, is important. And the reason is not ultimately really anything having to do with you. So long as you look at yourself and you trust yourself enough to go again. Like when you fucking wake up and when you go to work and when you interact with people, are you, are you able to really like, within yourself go, I am fucking. I'm like showing up to do this job as a dignified motherfucking worker. I'm like, I'm, I'm do. I'm like at three through. In all parts of your life, am I doing the best to uphold my end of the deal in this whole being a human being on the earth?

[Crystal]

Right? Well, I'm doing the best I can no matter what the situation. You know, I tried, you know, by.

[Lyle]

The way, by the way, you know, by the way, you're never gonna be, you're never gonna be perfect. The ant. The answer is never gonna be.

[Crystal]

I'm doing amazing.

[Lyle]

The answer is. The question is, is just one of like, am I, am I at least, am I at least trying, you know.

[Crystal]

What are you laughing at? I'm not looking at the cat. Is it funny? Are you laughing at me?

[Lyle]

No, no, of course I'm not laughing.

[Crystal]

My brain works. See?

[Lyle]

Right.

[Nutrafol Host]

Here.

[Crystal]

At all. Yeah, like, you know, I mean, no.

[Lyle]

I'm laughing at, I'm laughing at the absurdity. I'm just laughing at, you know, life and.

[Crystal]

But yeah, well, I mean, I take it much more your time, but hopefully this. I do really appreciate you and it's good to know that there's at least one more good human being out there.

[Lyle]

Okay, well, you know, Crystal. Crystal, good luck. And please, if you take away. Goddamn, if you just take away anything from this phone call, just please make it that, you know, the, the whatever, whatever evils are done upon you in the world, they, they, they have nothing to do with you. And, and you're, you have every right to go and, you know, fight against them and as you, as you move through the world.

[Crystal]

That's a good, good one there. No, honestly, I'll take a lot from this. I do appreciate you.

[Lyle]

Okay.

[Crystal]

And thanks again. Really, really. Thank you.

[Lyle]

All right, thank you, Crystal. Good luck.

[Crystal]

You have to have a good night.

[Lyle]

Ma'. Am. We got very, we got very stoic on that one. We got very, we got very philosophical on that on that one. That was, that was a big stoic one. I feel for Crystal. I do. It's weird, dude. It's hard. And I, I, I've, I've been I know people like this, and I've been people like this and I slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly over time realize just how fucking little of the way, like the, the way the world operates is very indifferent to, in the way the people operate, I think is very indifferent to you. Now it, by the way, it's not a zero percent, I would say there's a ratio. I don't know what the exact ratio is. It could be something close to 50, 50, it could be something close to 6040. The ratio being what percentage of the way that the world and the people in it treat you is a result of things going on with you or a result of things going on with those people and with the world. It's not a, it's not a hundred percent either of those things. But I think people tend to focus on, you know, oh, what did I do wrong in that relationship? Oh, why am I, why am I getting bullied? It must be something to do with me. And it's like it's in a lot of times just because the word, it's just because it's worth. The world is insane and the people living in it are insane, including us and everyone. It's just, it's too, it's too mystical and yeah, it's too, it's too mystical to claim as, as, as your own, you know, And I do that with good things too sometimes. Which is the double edged sword of that, right? Like if someone reacts positively to you. That's the, that's the double edged sword of this, of this, of this particular philosophy that I wrestle with is like, if I did well or if people liked me, a lot of that had nothing to do with fucking me and a lot to do with the other people. But that doesn't have to be a bad thing because, I mean, take it in. I mean, look, we, let's talk art, business, relationships. Those are all 50, 50 ratioed things, right? You can make a, you can make a video and it's really weird and grotesque and someone could not like it. And 50% of the reason they didn't like it is because of you, is because of the thing that you made. And the other 50 is because of them. They're not into it. And then you meet a sick weirdo person who likes your weird video thing. And now it's like 50% of that was because of you and who you are. And then 50% of that was because of them and who they are and works out with relationships and friendships and everything. But I think you people, we get too Focused on the, you know, the, the version of us. I'm learning that too. Like if I'm at parties or social, I'm trying to get better at, like, being more. I think I'm naturally extroverted when I have energy, which is not all the time, but when I have energy, I try to be more extroverted. I. When I go to like a fucking function or something, I want to. I would love to be the kind of guy where I can just go in, be like, hey, what's your name? How you doing? And I'm starting to do that more. And I easily brush off when someone does not want to talk to me. It's not a big deal. It's really not a big deal because it has nothing to do with you. It may as well or not, that has nothing to do with you, but it only has half to do with you, you know, So I, I feel, I feel for Crystal. I really do. I could tell that. I could tell I would felt bad because I could tell even when I was laughing, just because I'm, you know, talking. And that's, that's, that's how I am. It's. That's a thing going on in my head. Of course I'm not laughing at her. But the brain, it just conditions itself to believe that it's the, the source of all. Everything. It's a weird, like, ego. It's a way, like, it's. It's kind of funny, man. Like, like thinking that, like you're thinking that you're amazing and you're better than everyone else is ego, but also like thinking that you suck and everyone hates you and like, that's also kind of ego in a way. Yeah. I don't know. I think about this shit, but can I? I gotta say something funny. Everything's been so philosophical tits.

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[Jasmine Crockett]

I think Democrats have for a very long time allowed Republicans to play Them. So essentially, Republicans came up with a narrative and Democrats decided to play into that. And that only hurt the Democrats.

[Katie Couric]

I'm Katie Couric. Jasmine Crockett, Democratic representative of Texas, is not known for holding back. And our recent chat on Next Question is no exception. But when you hear how she got to where she is, her intensity makes perfect sense.

[Jasmine Crockett]

It's just hard to imagine a world where you don't have enough people that care to do right by people. And so that same passion that carried me through as a public defender, that led me to want to change laws and thinking about the harm that will happen not just to my constituents, but just generally, like, I carry that weight.

[Lyle]

With me because you've seen it up close.

[Jasmine Crockett]

Yeah.

[Katie Couric]

Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Lyle]

Hello?

[Logan]

Yeah, can you hear me?

[Lyle]

Yeah. What's your name?

[Logan]

My name is. Let's go with Logan.

[Lyle]

Logan. What's up, Logan? How you doing?

[Logan]

Good. How are you doing?

[Lyle]

I'm fine. I'm okay. What's. What do you want to talk about?

[Logan]

It's crazy. Oh, gosh, I have no idea. Do. Would you mind taking the lead?

[Lyle]

Yeah, sure, I can take the lead. Well, have we ever talked before, Logan?

[Logan]

We not. This is my first time ever calling you.

[Lyle]

How did you find out about this show?

[Logan]

I was actually listening to a podcast on Spotify called Brook and Jeffrey, Brick and Jubal, and it was an ad.

[Lyle]

Cool. Okay. I always wonder if ads work and it seems. I guess it seems like they do. Cool.

[Logan]

Yeah. You hooked me. I. I was working one day and that. My job enables me to listen to music and podcasts all day. And the first podcast I ever listened to you was about the guy that would jerk off in the helicopter. He worked for the military.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Yeah. Have you been listening for. For a while?

[Logan]

I would say probably like five months.

[Lyle]

Cool. Well, we're happy to have you, sir.

[Logan]

Yeah. Yeah, I'm. I'm a young guy, kind of like some of your other guests today. I'm 22. I live in Oregon.

[Lyle]

Jesus Christ. I could have sworn you were like 40 something, man.

[Logan]

Yeah, I'm a. I'm a bigger guy, but yeah.

[Lyle]

What's life like in Oregon? What's your life like in Oregon?

[Logan]

Well, I am from the southern part and it's quite. It's getting quite hot. We just had a storm roll through, so there's a bunch of fires, so it's getting into the smoky season. Yeah. And like your Other guests. Last weekend, I just took all my friends into the. Into the local wilderness and did some mushrooms as well. That was quite the adventure. But, yeah. Boy, this is crazy. I'm kind of freaking out.

[Lyle]

Okay, all right. What did you. What did you learn on your mushroom journey? I mean, I don't know. People say that they learn things, but then ultimately it's like, I. I don't know. I kind of think mushrooms are just for getting high, you know, learning things for, like, reading books and. Is how you. I think. I think learn things. I don't know. I feel like you can't get high and learn stuff. You have to, like, do things and go places and talk to people and study.

[Logan]

Well, for me, I personally, I've only ever done them, of course, recreationally, but I don't understand how someone could go to, like, a house party and do mushrooms. I've always been out in the woods enjoying nature and whatnot. I think it. It often offers me a. A different perspective on some things. I don't do it very often, and if I do, I make sure I'm in a good space and happy. Otherwise, you won't enjoy your trip very much. Yeah, I don't. I mean, yeah, they are to get high, but, I mean, it's. It's pretty. Once you're in it, you're kind of for a ride for a few hours and. Like weed. I have smoked weed for quite some time, but I quit for the past year due to work, get my CDL and stuff. Can't do it anymore.

[Lyle]

So what does that mean? You got your cdl? What do you. What's the future looking like for you?

[Logan]

Well, I am pursuing a career in power lineman, so to work on power lines and stuff. I attended some college to, you know, make myself as valuable as I could and, you know, get. Get really interested into the industry. And to do that, you have to be clean, of course, which is unfortunate because I feel like marijuana became a large part of my identity in the later part of my high school years until I was, like, 21, which isn't, you know, smart, but they say same.

[Lyle]

Say, say, say less, brother, say less. I'm very familiar with that weed. I'm 27, and weed is still become an unfortunate part of my identity. I mean, somewhat fortunate or unfortunate. Who knows? The problem is that, yeah, it causes. I know it's not free. Meaning it's. Yeah, for a while I was like, what do you mean? What do you mean smoking weed is bad for you? It's weed everyone, you know, they make T shirts with it on it. Of course. It's awesome.

[Logan]

Yeah. You know, socks and. Yeah, I totally understand. It's just, you know, I have had friends that, you know, smoke dabs and stuff every day and they don't have much of a memory anymore and I feel like some of their cognitive function has decreased since they, you know, have partook with marijuana.

[Lyle]

Yeah, yeah. I think some of my cognitive function is bad with marijuana, especially when I'm actively on it. For sure. I mean it's not. Yeah, it's not good. But I don't know. Functioning at a hundred percent cognitive cognition. That's like a whole thing. Who does that?

[Logan]

Yeah, yeah. And it's, it's funny. I mean, I've had this conversation many times on this channel before. People, you know, claim it's not a big addictive. But for me, since it became, I mean, I felt like it was part of my personality and everything. It took me a long time to be. Come to the point where I didn't want to like do it every day, which is, you know, that's basically an addiction. But yeah, and you know, you hang out with the same old friends that are still doing it all the time. Doesn't make it easy.

[Lyle]

Oh, I wish I was. I wish my friends smoked weed as much as I do. That's one of the, one of the things I hate about my friends. They don't smoke as much weed as I do. I would buy my. I. My life would genuinely be so much better if my friends all smoked weed. But I'm like, I'm like the only one left. Some of, some of my friends still smoke weed. But like, you know, my, my core, core, core friends are. Don't like to get high. You know, everyone. Everyone's addicted to juuling. I feel like all my, all my friends, they switched over to the nick.

[Logan]

Yeah, I do partake in disposable vapes, which I'm trying to kick. But everyone knows the struggle with that. But being here from Oregon, you know, it's. It's every. You can't go to a bar or any event without smelling weed. And when I went to the college for, you know, to become alignment, I. I was in Idaho where it's illegal and it took me a while to like, you know, go to a bar and just not smell it. It became kind of weird. You know, it came home there's. For a while when it first became legal to grow here, you could not see a farm no matter where you went. It's this, this Is honestly pretty crazy. And I think it's taken a notch down because so many people did it. The market kind of went in the tank for the most part of the huge, huge operations.

[Lyle]

What's your name again?

[Logan]

My name is Logan. I believe I went with Logan.

[Lyle]

Well, Logan, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

[Logan]

Yeah, I. I know it's kind of cheesy, but I do follow this rule. Treat people the way you want to be treated. For me, I'm a very nice person and I've always treated people with respect and it seems to follow. But, yeah, I appreciate taking. We appreciate this call, Logan. Or, I mean, Lyle. Sorry.

[Lyle]

I hope that. I hope that. I hope. I hope that your life continues to be good. You have a lot of life ahead of you to be potentially bad. But it's good that it's. It's good so far?

[Logan]

Well, yeah, we just got a kid on the way. We figured out a few weeks ago, so.

[Lyle]

You have a kid on the way?

[Logan]

Yeah. Married.

[Lyle]

Are you insane? Logan? You were like, I don't have any idea what to talk about. You have a kid on the way?

[Logan]

Dude, I. I am quite. I know you probably read my text, but I am quite the redneck. You wouldn't. You wouldn't believe. Yeah. You know, I'm surrounded by good people. I have over. Had over 300 people at my wedding. It was a big event.

[Lyle]

Jesus Christ. Oh, my God.

[Logan]

Jesus. I'm very traditional. I'm very traditional. You know, I like to put my head down, work, be the only worker in the family, have my wife stay at home and raise the kids, homeschool.

[Lyle]

You're just burying the fucking lead in the ground here, Logan. Wow.

[Logan]

You know, you're burying the lead in the road.

[Lyle]

You're burying the lead in the ground. You buried the lead.

[Logan]

What do you mean by that? What do you mean by that?

[Lyle]

Do you know. Do you know what burying the lead means?

[Logan]

I haven't heard that. No.

[Lyle]

It's like when you have something exciting to talk about and then we're like. Like, it's like, if. How do I. How do I. How do I put this? Oh, it's like if. It's like if you and I were talking and. Okay, you were like, how you doing? And I was like, I'm doing all right. How are you? And then we talked for like a half hour. And then at some point, I was like, oh, yeah, I'm going to Outer Space on Saturday.

[Logan]

Okay, I see what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry. Yeah, I guess I did leave that out, but I'm just, you know.

[Lyle]

And it was. And it's. This is on purpose, correct?

[Logan]

No, sir. No.

[Lyle]

Oh, it was an accident.

[Logan]

You know, just kind of. I'm like shaking, nervous talking to you. I've been listening to you for a while. Always wanted to call. I got off work today, which never happens this early. I work like 90 hours a week because it's summertime, busy, busy season.

[Lyle]

So. So. So the kid was an accident?

[Logan]

No, no, it was actually, it's more of a blessing, Lyle. She doesn't have a good egg count. And so if I'm being honest, we kind of just relaxed on our precautions and it came. You know, I am. I know I'm pretty young, but for my age, I do feel like I am financially secure enough to raise a kid. I'm not on, you know, any sort of government financial help of any sort. I live on my own. I'm set to buy a house soon. Yeah, I.

[Lyle]

What do you.

[Logan]

You know, I have a brother who has a kid that's 18.

[Lyle]

Wow.

[Logan]

And he. He already has a kid. But, you know, he didn't marry his wife first, so the government paid for everything. And that, you know, just, you know, pisses me off. But I'm not going that route. Okay, interesting people that actually need it.

[Lyle]

Interesting. Okay, so, yeah, I have some. I have so many more questions for you now. How did you achieve financial stability at 22? Enough to have a kid.

[Logan]

Okay, so I went to a. So I graduated with like 12 people in my class. To put it in perspective of how large my school was, there was less than 200 kids in my school, K through 12. So I was not very good at school. And so my dad, you know, said you can either be smart or you can work really hard. So at 15, early 16, I was working 40 hours a week during school, barely graduated high school, and I just kind of put my head in the dirt. I work. I work construction. So, you know, I come home fucking dirty as hell every day. I save my money. You can. I'm like to think of what I look like. I am like 6 foot 3 and I drive a big jacked up loud truck. So I'm pretty redneck, you know, I love guns, I have a lot of guns. But that's pretty common here where I. Where I'm local to. Yeah. So, yes, I found a woman when I was 17, she was 15. And throughout our relationship we both, you know, agreed that we have the same desires. And once throughout Our life. And so we got married. We got married. I was. This is. We just had a one year anniversary, June 4th. But yeah, we have a kid due in early next year, so I'm excited. Yeah, I'm a brother of four boys.

[Lyle]

Wow.

[Logan]

So I grew up in a. Yeah.

[Lyle]

And your, your brother also has a kid and he's like 18?

[Logan]

Yep, yep. He's below me. You know, he didn't really pick a good woman in my opinion. But you know, he. Everyone makes mistakes and. But you know her name? I'm not gonna say her name, but.

[Lyle]

Yeah, don't say, don't say her name. But what, what made you feel. Why don't you, why don't you like her?

[Logan]

Oh, no, it's not the child that I don't like. It's the woman. She just has a crazy family, you know. Crazy, crazy family. My brother, as soon as he graduated, he was dating this girl during high school. As soon as he graduated, turned 18, moved into her house with her parents, family, grandma, everyone. And for our family. That's pretty, you know, that's, that's not nothing. You really do, you know. And then he, you know, got this girl pregnant, still living in her house with her parents, not paying rent. He was working odds and ends. He's a smart kid, but yeah, he just made some decisions. But now he worked through a really huge company. He's in a heavy diesel mechanic apprenticeship program for a very large company. And he lives very far from home now, which, you know, I'm about to do the same. I'm in apprenticeship program for alignment. I'm going to be traveling in a camper with a kid and my wife doesn't mind. I said, you know, if I am successful throughout my apprenticeship, which is about four years, then we'll figure out where we want to move and buy a house. But it depends on if I buy this house that we're set to buy next year and.

[Lyle]

So is your brother still with this lady?

[Logan]

He is. I don't, I truly don't think it will last. And it sucks because I hate it when a man has to pay child support unless obviously he deserves it. This woman's crazy. You know, I think everyone.

[Lyle]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Why do you hate it when a man has to pay child support?

[Logan]

You know, it just sucks. Even if, if you get a woman pregnant, you know, I just, I don't think it's generally good for a child who has to get. Be raised up into the world with, you know, split parents. It obviously works. There's a Lot of people out there that grew up in that situation that are, know, very successful overall, it doesn't work out very well.

[Lyle]

You, you know what? And by the way, actually, I, I, I, and you know what? I, I respect your, I genuinely, I respect your opinion that, you know, of, of feeling like children who grew up in, I respect your opinion that children who grew up in dual parent households, you know, that's a better environment. But the caveat is it's, I think it's better for a child to grow up in a dual parent environment if the two parents don't fucking hate each other. And so, okay, so if I had to rank them, I would rank. Okay, I would rank growing up with two parents who love each other at number one. And then below that I would put two parents who are divorced and sharing custody. And then below that I would put two parents living into the same house who fucking hate each other.

[Logan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lyle]

So if you fucking hate each other, you know. Yeah, it's not gonna, it's not gonna, if you hate each other, it's not gonna, it's not like, oh, we should stay together for the kids if we're just, we're gonna make it worse.

[Logan]

I, I, I disagree. And honestly, scratch what I said about child support. I just meant like, I'd rather see him. You know, it just, it means a lot to win a parent. You know, I'm just gonna wait till they're 18 and then we're gonna break up. Like, that's in my eyes, that's, that's kind of devotion towards the child. As long as it's not, you know, an abusive household where they're yelling at each other all the time, which isn't the case with my brother. They clearly still like, love each other, but he can tell he kind of up and now he's stuck with this woman.

[Lyle]

Why? Well, I'm, if he, if they still love each other, why do you think he up?

[Logan]

Well, he, he obviously kind of loves her, but at the same time, like, I don't know, we're very close and you can just tell he's not very satisfied. I put it this way. If they don't have it, if they didn't have a child right now, I don't think they would be together. They've had this child for quite some time now.

[Lyle]

Well, I don't know. I, I'm. So you think he loves his wife but yet is not happy?

[Logan]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Maybe love the strong word, maybe I haven't actually asked him if he loves his wife. I would assume so, because they just got married. But, you know, I don't. I. I know he's unsatisfied to a point, kind of like, oh, damn, I kind of up. But I think he. He's definitely the type that's just gonna stick it out and probably be an old man and wake up, look at the woman next to you in bed, and be like, I could have, you know, could have been a little bit different. My decisions, you know, were a little different as well.

[Lyle]

Do you. Do you love your wife?

[Logan]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, Yeah. I. I. You know, honestly, this is probably cheesy to say, but. But if every man on this planet could have a woman that has half the qualities of my wife, the world would be such. Such a better place.

[Lyle]

That's really nice.

[Logan]

You know, she makes me lunch every day, and when I come home, dinner's ready and made before I come home. It's, you know, it's. She. She treats me very well, and I do the same.

[Lyle]

You talk about your wife. You talk about the way you use the word woman. It's like. It's the eight. It's like 1800s.

[Logan]

Oh, yeah. Well, you know, if I introduce someone, I say, this is my lady. You know, I. I'm very traditional. I say, yes, ma'. Am. No man to anyone. I don't know. Doesn't really matter their age unless they're a kid. I was. Grew up. I grew up. Very traditional.

[Lyle]

But, well, let's see. So, okay, you're gonna have your first kid. You gonna have more?

[Logan]

Oh, yeah. I want probably three or four, if, you know, my wife will let me. And I think three is a good number, but I'd like to make it even.

[Lyle]

And I'm sorry, how, exactly how You. You said, like, how did you make all this money?

[Logan]

Oh, I just work. Honestly, I don't make a lot. I mean, there's times where I get prevailing wage jobs. You know, it's a government job, so I make like $50 an hour, but most of the year I make 25. I just work really hard. I work a lot of hours, and I don't. Don't spend much. You save as much as you can. I don't know. I got relatives that lived through 2008 and saw it coming, and they feel. Which was the recession, if you didn't know, but they feel that there will be another one soon where the house market crashes and you'll be able to buy a house for much less than the market is right now.

[Crystal]

So.

[Logan]

I've always been Taught, you know, save your money and if, you know, someday a good deal will come up and you'll have it. But yeah, I just save my money as much as I can and, you know, don't spend much. I work a lot. I work a lot.

[Lyle]

And so what is your, what does your wife do now? Is she not working? She's just chilling?

[Logan]

Well, she is and her, I guess it'd be towards the end of her first trimester, but she's working full time as well. And once she has the kids, she's basically going to retire until our, all of our kids are, you know, 18 or out of the house. But she does have goals and aspirations and we agreed that she'll put her career kind of to the aside as I develop mine into the linemen industry. She's going to raise the kids and you know, once the kids are raised and she has more time or in school where she, you know, she has a lot more free time, she can start working on her career and I should be in a good financial spot to be able to help her to do with whatever she wants. She really wants to do aesthetics. So, you know, because women like their face all done up, moisturized eyebrows, whatever else.

[Lyle]

I mean, does she seem happy about the situation?

[Logan]

Yeah, she couldn't be happier. And I'm the same way. We both, like, we're kind of planners. So early on in the relationship we, you know, wrote down on paper goals and aspirations and, you know, luckily enough they were aligned and so we're right on track to where we want to be. You know, you look at other people our age, you know, they're still out partying. I go to bed at 7:30, 8 o' clock every night when I can. I wake up really early. I don't, I don't go to the bar ever. I try not to, even on the weekends. I just, I just work as much as I can and save. And when I am free, I, you know, hang out with my best friends from high school and spend a lot of time with my wife. I do a lot of fishing and hunting. I'm a very outdoorsy person. I grew up on a ranch, so. And her families, they, they own a logging company. So. Yeah, we're, you know, we're making it work. We're getting by. It's not always, that's not always, you know, easy, but. Yeah.

[Lyle]

Well, you know, it sounds like you guys are both. I mean, if you had 300 people at the wedding, it sounds like you have a strong community around you.

[Logan]

Yeah, yeah, they Were. So most of them were family. We got a big family on both sides and we're very loved and we love all of our family. You know, we don't have any, I guess I say tweakers or drug addicts in our family. Only us kids, you know, we vape, but nobody smokes, to my knowledge. We have a very clean, straightforward family. Yeah, I'm not personally a religious person, but it would probably help in the oncoming future. We'll see.

[Lyle]

There's probably what in the oncoming future?

[Logan]

It would probably help in the oncoming future.

[Lyle]

You said religion would help in the oncoming future.

[Logan]

Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure it would. I'm particularly skeptical that way.

[Lyle]

What makes you feel that way?

[Logan]

I'm, I'm. Do you ever watch Young Sheldon?

[Lyle]

No, I've never watched. I have not watched Sheldon.

[Logan]

Dude. I, I like. I, I am right with that kid. I, you know, faith. Religion is faith, science is facts, and I just choose facts. I like evolution and whatnot. It, it kind of appeals to me versus religion. And most of the people that I know personally that are religious, they turned religious when a terrible event happened in their life. So they relied on it, which, you know, I'm not dissing on that. That's a good thing. They need all the help they can. And I've never been in a situation where I needed religion. I've never been to church except for funerals and whatnot. I wasn't married in a church or anything. I was out in a pasture, like a horse pasture. But yeah, I'm not particularly religion religious, but my wife thinks it might be a good idea for our kids to grow up in a religious household. I kind of was, you know, we said held hands, said grace every night before dinner. So I do agree with the morale it provides, but I don't go to church on Sundays.

[Lyle]

I do agree that it provides a sense of culture, community.

[Logan]

Yeah, yeah. In which I do like.

[Lyle]

But, yeah, I think I mainly have problems with it when it, like, is used to invoke, like, fear.

[Logan]

Yeah, yeah. And, you know, I can't totally agree because I have no idea. I don't. I've never read the Bible. I don't know much about religion because I've never, you know, put much time or thought towards it because, I don't know, I just watch Animal Planet and I feel like that might be kind of against religious religion, but who knows? Well, I appreciate your time, Lyle.

[Lyle]

Yeah, of course. Crap. I feel like I should have remembered your name. It Was Josh.

[Logan]

Starts with an L. Oh, Logan.

[Lyle]

Logan. Now I remember. Logan.

[Logan]

Logan.

[Lyle]

It was nice talking.

[Logan]

I appreciate your time.

[Lyle]

Yeah, for sure, man. I hope that you sound, you sound blessed. You sound like you have a nice future. I hope you're, you know, good to your family. I hope your family is good to you. I hope that the, the soil is good to you. I, I don't know if you're on a farm. I don't think you said you were were, but I'm gonna pretend, yeah, I.

[Logan]

Grew up on a farm.

[Lyle]

So I hope the soil is good to you and good luck.

[Logan]

Thank you.

[Lyle]

Your life, brother.

[Logan]

Thank you. You enjoy the rest of your evening.

[Lyle]

Hey, take care, Logan.

[Logan]

All right, bye.

[Lyle]

Logan's interesting. Logan's interesting. I'm talking, we're talking to Logan and you know, he's talking and I'm, he's saying things where I'm like, ah, know, but you know what, Listen, I don't know. We live in the same, me and Logan and everyone listening to this. We all live on the same stupid planet. We're all gonna die. You know, you gotta figure it out. We live on. We, we, we live ever. Everyone, I think, comes to terms with the fact, you gotta come to terms with the fact that you live in a place with lots of people who, you know, treat life differently than you might. Everything is so much bigger than you. I don't know, politics and economics and social whatever, it's just, it's the reconciliation of that fact. I'm waxing poetic too much. But, but I, I, I wanted to have some post call thoughts. That was Logan. Hello folks, it's Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But get this, I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right, an entire extra hour of the podcast that you can listen to by becoming a premium member of Therapy gecko. Over at therapygecko.supercast.com super cast subscribers get access to bonus episodes. They get a completely ad free podcast feed of the regular show. They get recordings from my live shows members only streams and they help support my ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's a clip from this week's members only bonus episode. Alex, you're the most bashful human being I think I've ever talked to. You have a red face with big rosy cheeks. Tell me, how else have you thought to consume breast milk? Would you put chocolate syrup in it? Would you make it as part of a milkshake?

[Logan]

Well, I mean, why not, man? I mean, I don't know. I felt like if I became a dad, it's like I always tell people.

[Lyle]

Like, if I ever became a dad.

[Logan]

I gotta make fatherhood, like, eccentric.

[Lyle]

I gotta make it, like, not boring. Like. If you want to hear this full conversation, you can sign up to become a premium [e-mail] or find the link in the episode description. That's therapygecko.supercast.com all right, I have nothing else to say. Therapy echoes on the line, taking your.

[Logan]

Phone calls every night.

[Lyle]

Therapy, he get goes doing it right, teaching you how to live your life. But he's not really an expert.

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[Jasmine Crockett]

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[Katie Couric]

Listen to Next Question with me, Katie Couric on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[WebMD Host]

Hear insightful, entertaining discussions on today's important health and wellness topics on the Health discovered podcast from WebMD. Through in depth conversations with experts, Health Discovered covers everything from tips for healthier living to the latest on therapy and mental health.

[Amber]

My goal is to really destigmatize mental health treatment and looking at it from a whole health perspective, physical health and mental health can be intertwined.

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