Therapy Gecko: "I FOUND MY DISTANT DAD"

Podcast: Therapy Gecko (iHeartPodcasts)
Date: September 28, 2025
Host: Lyle (aka "Gecko")
Episode Theme:
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about life, relationships, existential dread, and the absurdity of existence. In this episode, callers tackle estranged family, navigating adulthood, personal challenges, reconnecting with siblings post-prison, and finding hope amidst an overwhelming world.

Main Callers & Their Stories

1. Josh: Reaching Out to a Distant Father

[03:17–29:56]

Key Points:

• Background: Josh grew up estranged from his father, only meeting him twice in his childhood. After years of no contact and his father's disappearance from social media, Josh recently found him again on Facebook.
  • “My dad hasn't been a part of my life ever since I was a baby... I found him on Facebook and added him as a friend, and he added me back and everything. And I just don't really know where to go or what to say.” — Josh [03:45]
• Initiating Contact: Josh messaged his father to let him know he was now a grandfather.
• Complicated Feelings:
  • His mother strongly discouraged the reconnection, underlining her negative view of Josh’s father due to past abuse.
  • Josh struggles between curiosity and loyalty: "All the memories I have of him are bad...but I know people change, and I just don't feel like it's right for me not to at least reach out to him, try to get his side of the story now that I'm an adult." [05:50]
• Hopes & No Expectations:
  • Josh says he’s cautious, harboring curiosity more than expectation: "I don't even really expect him to respond. I didn't even expect him to add me back on Facebook." [08:21]
• Navigating Fatherhood:
  • Josh supports his young family while working late-night truck shifts. He reflects on the challenges of raising children now, financial strains, and the fast pace of life:
    "Kids... change your life, dude. Like, I feel like I went from...having different perspectives on life to...little humans that I have to work and provide for...that kind of gives you like a purpose in life." [15:16]
• Time & Adulthood:
  • The passage of time feels accelerated, and Josh grapples with the sense of growing older faster because of routine and responsibility:
    "It's like you blink your eyes, and time just goes by, dude. And it's hard to try to, like, hold on to memories or cherish the little moments." [20:25]
• Preserving Memory:
  • Inspired by ChatGPT (as previously discussed on the show), Josh receives advice to consciously mark positive moments to remember them:
    "It was basically just saying...remember this conversation that I had with it, and to think back to that whenever one of those moments are happening." [22:38]
  • Both discuss the possibility of journaling, even in bullet points, to anchor memories and give reality to fleeting days.
• Intimacy of Anonymous Conversation:
  • Josh chooses not to reveal his real name, feeling that using a pseudonym is both a shield and a barrier:
    "It’d feel more like...I'm not just hiding behind a mask." [25:59]

Notable Quotes:

• “Every day is the same, time flows by fast. But if you find a way to break through your routine, you kind of remember a little bit more.” — Gecko [22:04]
• “I'm inspired by that. He's got a good head on his shoulders, doing a good thing...It’s a noble thing to have people in your life who need you to not die.” — Gecko, reflecting on Josh [30:39]

2. Lena: Juggling Family, Loss, and a Brother’s Return

[34:00–47:51]

Key Points:

• Life Changes:
  • Lena, recent high school graduate and new cosmetology school student, is about to have her older brother—recently released from prison—move in.
  • She struggles with complicated feelings: gratitude for still having a brother after losing another, but frustration at his messy habits and jerkishness.
• Family Dynamics:
  • “I have three brothers. One of them passed away, and so now I’m having to be extra thankful for my other brother. So I’m kind of trying not to be mad...” [38:37]
  • On sharing a space with her brother: “As a housekeeper, I am very particular about how I keep my living area, specifically, like, my bathroom.” [39:38]
• Estrangement & Hope for Change:
  • Lena's other living brother is essentially estranged (“He’s like bald and stuff, and he has a kid...I don’t talk to him because he’s bald?” [41:07]), revealing some humor in her detachment.
  • She wonders if her brother has changed post-prison, especially since past meth addiction and being "very rude" before.
  • “My mom thinks that he has [changed]...he seems a lot more normal than he was. I mean, I can say this, I think. Yeah, I think so. He was like, addicted to meth and stuff...” [45:43]

Notable Moments:

• Lighthearted bickering about family, brothers being “dick wads,” and sibling ages.
• Quick, candid emotional swings between hope (“I do feel that way. Let me think. I do feel that way.” [42:35]) and resignation.
• Lena’s humor in handling seriousness: “He’s like bald and stuff...You don’t talk to him because he’s bald?” [41:07]
• Lena’s parting: “Thank you, brother. Thank you. I appreciate that. I've been listening since middle school, so this is awesome.” [47:27]

3. Coffee: Existential Dread, Love, and Living Despite the World

[51:00–80:01]

Key Points:

• Personal/World Divide:
  • Coffee expresses a sharp split: “In my life, a lot is going great, but then, like, in the world, it seems like everything kind of sucks.” [51:06]
• Existential Anxiety:
  • Expresses dread over global issues, government hostility, and safety as a queer person in America; partner is trans; fear of the future.
  • Gecko discusses his “non-dismissive” view that suffering and disaster have always existed, and that realizing this can paradoxically help make sense of fear.
    “For as long as we've been around, you can point to, you know, terrible things...It's not dismissive, I say it to be hopeful...” [51:59, 53:03]
• Refusing to Surrender to Dread:
  • Coffee recounts personal progress after deep depression, recent move-in with his partner, dreams of moving to Germany, but their joy is often clouded by anxiety and doom-laden headlines.
  • “I want to go to Germany with him because he’s the love of my life...I love him so much...” [60:54]
  • “But the people running the systems of our, like, world, the airport, government might not let that happen because of stupid culture war issues...” [61:01]
• Gecko’s Advice on Resistance:
  • The host emphasizes refusing to let doomscrolling and social media "steal" one’s precious attention and sanity:
    “The best form of resistance… is: 'I draw the line at my own sanity. I’m gonna put the phone down, I’m gonna go to the DIY music show… in a form of existential spite, try to enjoy my life…’ That’s how I’m gonna resist.” [74:36–77:03]
• Creative Spark & Identity:
  • Coffee laments losing momentum in music after traumatic event at a show.
  • Gecko urges protecting one’s spark and carving out space for joy as a defiant act—prompting real gratitude from the caller:
    “I really needed to hear that. I knew it subconsciously...but I appreciate you kind of telling me in the way you did.” [77:44]

Notable Quotes:

• “When you’re spiraling, it’s like, people are—the most engaging emotions are fear and anger, and all the companies...curate a daily thing where we can go and spiral.” — Gecko [77:03]
• “You have a nice life, you really do...just don’t let it take you out of your life for too long.” — Gecko [78:18]
• “Keep your head up, keep going. Even though life might suck outside...don’t let it interrupt your personal life.” — Coffee [79:38]

Recurring Themes & Insights

Intergenerational Trauma & Breaking Cycles

• Both Josh and Lena grapple directly with family trauma—cycles of absence, abuse, or addiction.
• There’s a clear thread of trying to “break the cycle,” especially in Josh’s determination to be a better parent and Lena’s conflicted generosity toward her returning brother.

The Fast-Motion of Adulthood

• Time seems to accelerate once adult responsibilities—especially parenthood—set in.
• Journaling, mindfulness, and now even reminders from AI (ChatGPT) are suggested tools to resist the blur.

Anxiety vs. Action in a Difficult World

• Coffee’s dilemma is highly relatable: balancing personal fulfillment and activism/awareness, without being overwhelmed.
• Gecko repeatedly urges listeners to guard their peace, focus on tangible joys, and not let constant doom further erode their wellbeing.

Humor as Survival Mechanism

• Lena’s wry delivery about family, messes, and “bald” estranged brothers adds lightness to deep strains in her story.
• Gecko’s playful, self-deprecating tone sets the atmosphere for openness and resilience.

The Value of Telling Your Story (Even Anonymously)

• Both Josh and Coffee use pseudonyms, feeling vulnerable even in this friendly space. Yet, sharing with a stranger (and audience) provides comfort, perspective, and a kind of invisible solidarity.

Memorable Moments & Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “I know people change, and I just don't feel like it's right for me to not at least, like, reach out to him, try to get his side of the story now that I'm an adult.” — Josh [06:14]
• “Every day is the same, time flows by fast. But if you find a way to break through your routine, you kind of remember a little bit more.” — Gecko [22:04]
• “It’d feel more like...I'm not just hiding behind, like a mask, you know, just talking to a random person that gave you a fake name.” — Josh [25:59]
• “You don’t talk to him because he’s bald?” — Gecko, laughing with Lena [41:07]
• “He's just a huge dick wad is how I would describe him.” — Lena [40:12]
• “It's like you blink your eyes, and time just goes by, dude.” — Josh [20:25]
• “For as long as we've been around, you can point to dictatorships and...atrocities...we're just dealing with… the horrible things going on at this very moment...everything motherfucking happened in the universe is unprecedented.” — Gecko [51:59, 54:04]
• “The best form of resistance is...drawing the line at my own sanity...” — Gecko [74:36–77:03]
• “Don’t let it take you out of your life for too long—just understand you have a nice life.” — Gecko [78:18]
• “Even though life might suck outside, don’t let it interrupt your personal life…” — Coffee [79:38]

Notable Timestamps for Key Transitions

• [03:17–29:56] — Josh discusses reconnecting with his estranged dad and fatherhood.
• [34:00–47:51] — Lena confronts the return of her brother from prison and family dynamics.
• [51:00–80:01] — Coffee unpacks existential dread, hope, and balancing personal vs. social anxiety.

Overall Tone & Takeaway

This episode embodies Therapy Gecko’s unique mix of candid honesty, existential reflection, wry humor, and compassion. Each caller’s story unfolds freely, with Gecko providing sincere empathy, gently questioning, and just enough Gecko-brand absurdity.
The unspoken message: whatever chaos and heartbreak swirl in the universe, the act of telling your story—and choosing small daily joys—matters. "Living well is a form of resistance."