“I MAY HAVE SOLD YOU DRUGS IN HIGH SCHOOL”

Summary

Therapy Gecko: “I MAY HAVE SOLD YOU DRUGS IN HIGH SCHOOL” (May 13, 2026)

Episode Overview

In this episode of Therapy Gecko, Lyle—the lizard-themed unlicensed psychologist—takes a series of calls exploring everything from high school nostalgia and social anxiety, to rebuilding after infidelity, to musings on the nature of smut books and their relation to pornography. The podcast’s signature tone is humorous, candid, and comforting, as Lyle alternates between playful banter and genuine emotional support.

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Key Calls & Discussion Points

1. High School Nostalgia, Social Anxiety, and "Trapping"

[02:10 – 15:13]

• Dan calls in, recognizing Lyle from their high school’s morning announcements.
• The conversation triggers a deep dive into the social anxiety Lyle felt at high school parties, contrasting adolescent discomfort with his more confident present-day self.
  • “Now I don’t have enough social anxiety. I actually need more to prevent myself from annoying someone by talking to them.” (Lyle, 04:44)
• Dan discloses he was recently fired after a short jail stint, briefly discussing the legal trouble (stemming from a “domestic situation”).
• Lyle asks about Dan’s past as a weed dealer (“trapping”), admitting he always envied the lifestyle’s “fun” and sense of belonging—despite its obvious risks.
  • “Selling weed in high school always looked so fun to me… Like, you would smoke everyone up… you kind of felt like the man.” (Lyle, 10:09)
• The two reminisce about the culture surrounding expensive bongs and the fleeting importance of social status in youth.
• Ends with Dan mentioning he’s under home detention, sending friends to buy a car for him, and Lyle wishing him well.

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2. Depression, Sobriety, and Rebuilding After Infidelity

[15:47 – 36:43]

• B shares his struggle with depression after quitting alcohol, the collapse of his marriage following an affair with his ex-wife’s sister, and ongoing efforts to recover.
• Lyle and B parse the effect of substance use as “coping mechanism” versus productive, healthier activities.
  • “So you swapped alcohol with like weed and video games and hanging out with your kid?” (Lyle, 17:26)
• B details his mental health crisis: cheating led to a breakdown, a short stay in a psychiatric ward, and being served divorce papers while hospitalized.
  • “I was on my way to work, and I could either take a left to go to work or right to go to the emergency room… I just ended up taking a right.” (B, 22:32)
• Attempts at support groups (AA/church) have been undermined by religious focus, which didn’t resonate.
• Isolated in a small town, B laments the difficulty of making friends or finding community.
  • “The most depressed I have been in my life is always when I’m, like, alone, you know?” (Lyle, 26:42)
• Lyle uncovers B’s passion for pool/billiards as a possible positive outlet—but struggles arise due to the bar environment (temptation of alcohol).
• Major theme: depression as the result of rumination, and the cure as active engagement with life.
  • “Depression just… goes away as a result of actually living your life. And it comes to you as a result of, like, stewing about your life.” (Lyle, 35:30)
• Wraps up with mutual encouragement and B’s advice: “Just talk to your spouses if you're having issues.” (B, 36:47)

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3. Middle School Ghosts, Living in the Past, and Sentient Rats

[40:21 – 55:49]

• Jacob (a 19-year-old concert photographer) discusses being haunted by a “conglomerate” of middle/high school “mysterious exes,” despite current contentment in work and relationship.
  • “I have this conglomerate that I call the mysterious ex, that is really an embodiment of all the failed relationships and situationships I had…” (Jacob, 45:02)
• Lyle reassures Jacob that everyone is cringey in their teens, and the best antidote is moving forward: “You have a free pass to be as cringy and stupid as you want in middle school and high school, man.” (Lyle, 49:05)
• Jacob pivots to recount a surreal dream about a sentient rat inspired by a previous Therapy Gecko episode—a testament to Lyle’s influence on listeners’ subconscious.
• Jacob’s parting wisdom: “Just go do something. Don’t sit still. That’s been one of my biggest things in life. Just be a go-getter.” (Jacob, 54:58)

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4. Are Smut Books Porn? Debate & Generational Internet Culture

[59:00 – 71:22]

• Riley engages Lyle in a light-hearted yet thoughtful debate:
  • “Are smut books equivalent to porn?”
  • Both agree there’s a significant difference—smut/romance novels are plot-driven and less explicitly visual.
    • “Are you jacking off to this stuff? ... If not, it’s not even in the same universe.” (Lyle, 65:10)
  • Discussion touches on gendered internet experiences (Tumblr, Instagram, Wattpad).
• Riley admits to being slightly drunk and surprised to get through to Lyle: “To be honest, I’m kind of drunk… I didn’t even think I was ever going to be able to talk to you, so I was kind of caught off guard.” (Riley, 70:42)
• Lyle’s stance (at Riley’s insistence): smut books and porn are categorically different.
• The segment also features playful tangents about obscure children’s shows research (The Replacements) and voice actors.

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Notable Quotes

• On social anxiety and self-acceptance:
  • “As long as I’m not being a dick, like, however our interaction goes is fine… There’s no way for me to embarrass myself in front of someone.” (Lyle, 05:15)
• On nostalgia for high school trapping culture:
  • “They seemed like they had a lot of friends and like, they had a lot of places to be… it just seemed like a fun way to, like, connect with a bunch of people.” (Lyle, 10:09)
• On moving past ruminating the past:
  • “You have a free pass to be as cringy and stupid as you want in middle school and high school, man.” (Lyle, 49:05)
• On combating depression:
  • “Depression just… goes away as a result of actually living your life. And it comes to you as a result of, like, stewing about your life.” (Lyle, 35:30)
• On smut books vs. porn:
  • “Are you jacking off to this stuff? … If not, it’s not even in the same universe.” (Lyle, 65:10)
• Listener advice:
  • “Just go do something. Don’t sit still… be a go getter.” (Jacob, 54:58)
  • “Just talk to your spouses if you’re having issues…” (B, 36:47)

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Timestamps & Key Segments

• [02:10] – Dan recognizes Lyle from high school and starts the nostalgia track
• [04:44] – Lyle on his growth in social confidence
• [09:18] – The weed-dealing (“trapping”) years revisited
• [10:09] – Lyle’s nostalgia for high school dealers
• [17:26] – B’s coping strategies after quitting alcohol
• [22:32] – Checking into a psych ward after a breakdown
• [26:42] – Isolation, depression, and the need for community
• [35:30] – Lyle’s “living your life” thesis
• [45:02] – Jacob’s “mysterious ex” conglomerate
• [49:05] – Advice for the youth haunted by their past
• [53:20] – Sentient rat dream inspired by Therapy Gecko
• [65:10] – Smut books vs. porn verdict

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Takeaways & Tone

Therapy Gecko thrives on compassionate, authentic conversations that often interweave absurd humor with practical wisdom. Lyle provides validation, comfort, and permission—for cringey youth, for those trying to repair themselves, and for those stuck in self-doubt loops. The throughline: keep moving, don’t stew, reach out to others, and don’t take yourself too seriously.

The episode is a microcosm of modern American life—awkward, messy, funny, sometimes dark, but always insisting on self-compassion and a little gecko-themed levity.

Transcript

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[A]

hello? Hey, what's up man?

[E]

Dude, I just wanted to say like I remember you used to do our morning announcements.

[A]

Dude, you met. You sent me a text and you said I wanted to talk about how you used to do the morning announcements at our school. Yeah, now you're a gecko. Yeah, I went to Franklin High School back.

[E]

Weren't you the dude that used to do our Morning announcements?

[A]

Yeah, I was. Yeah, I used to do the morning announcements at Franklin High school back in 2000. That was 10 years ago. Yeah, 2016.

[E]

That's fucking crazy, dude. Now you're a gecko now?

[A]

My gecko?

[E]

That's insane. That's so inspirational. You could be anything you ever want to.

[A]

I thought. What did you. Did you think I was good at the morning announcements?

[E]

Yeah, I thought you were pretty solid at it. I. I saw you going to, like, a news station or something, but you did it your own way.

[A]

What?

[E]

I thought you were great at it.

[A]

Don't give me your last name. But what's your first name? I'll know who you are.

[B]

Dan.

[E]

Daniel.

[A]

Fuck. I should actually have no idea who you are, Dan.

[E]

Yeah, you were. You graduated, like, I think a year or two before I did. I graduated 2018.

[A]

Wait, did we know each other?

[E]

You probably know my older cousin.

[A]

What's your older cousin's first name?

[E]

Alan.

[A]

Did your older cousin once throw a huge party? Dude, That was a lot.

[E]

He did one time.

[A]

Were you. Were you there? Were you there?

[E]

I was not. He actually dicked me.

[B]

He didn't invite me.

[A]

He didn't invite you? I don't think he invited me. I think I just showed up.

[E]

He just dicked me. I live right down the street, too. I was kind of pissed off.

[A]

That was a legend. That was a legendary part. I remember showing up at that party and feeling like it's maybe the weirdest I've felt in my whole. Some of the weirdest I've ever felt in my whole life is like, being at, like, a college party where I could not college, a high school party where, like, I could see other people, like, who were good at socializing and, like, being whatever. I was so nervous. I was just, like, standing in. I remember just like, I was at the party, I was just standing in one spot, just trying really hard to, like, get through the night or find someone that I knew that I could talk to just to, like, get through the night. I used to be really bad. I used to be really.

[E]

You're unloading a little bit.

[A]

Yeah, it. I used to just, like, not know how to just inhabit space. I had so much social anxiety. And then what happens is, over the course of the next 10 years, I slowly realized that nothing and no one matters at all. And now I have. Now I don't have enough social anxiety. I actually need more to prevent myself from annoying someone by talking to them. Yeah, that's not true. I actually. I do. I do still have social Anxiety in some situations, but less of. In less of a. Like. No, that's not true. I have social anxiety in some situations. I was recently in a situation where I had some social anxiety, but I also. I don't social. There's this. I don't. I've kind of come to the conclusion. I've come to the conclusion that I am correct in all of my social interactions. Not in the sense of, like, I'm, like, right about everything, but that as long as I'm not being a dick, like, however our interaction goes is fine. Like, if I'm a little awkward or if I'm a little cringy or whatever, like, that's fine. I'm still. I'm valid in my own existence as a human being, and so I don't. There's no way for me to embarrass myself in front of someone. There's only, like. There's only, like. I, like, if I'm, like, being a dick or if I'm being rude, that's different. But there's no way for me to, like, be annoying. I mean, I could. You could be annoying, but you're still. If you're annoying, you can still be correct and valid in your existence. Do you know what. Do you get what I'm saying?

[B]

I. I do get what you're saying. It's. It's deep. It's like if you're.

[E]

If you're trying to just speak your arm, you know, and, like, you're not being disrespectful. Like, there's no way you could be wrong technically.

[A]

Exactly. Right, Exactly. Because the social anxiety comes from, like, oh, people are judging me. And it's like, well, judging you on what?

[E]

You know, dress up as a gecko for the first time. What inspired that?

[A]

Wait, what are you doing now, Daniel? What do you. What did you grow up to be?

[E]

Oh, I'm an accountant, but I just got fired, so.

[A]

Oh, why'd you get fired?

[E]

He said it was performance related, but it was really, I think, because I took some time off work. Okay, well, yeah, they probably weren't happy about it. Around.

[A]

What did you take? What did you take time off to do?

[E]

How do I explain this?

[A]

How do you explain this?

[B]

I spent some.

[E]

I spent some time in jail.

[B]

Let's just.

[E]

Let's just say that.

[A]

Oh, okay. Is that related to why you got fired?

[E]

Probably. They said it was performance related, but, I mean, you take some time off and, you know, you're performing really in it.

[A]

I mean, when you say you took some time Off. Did you, like, call out of work for personal reasons and not explain why? Like, how long were you in jail for?

[B]

No. Yeah, like I told him, hey, I

[E]

got some personal stuff going on. Like, I had.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

Message. I'm off my laptop.

[A]

Okay. All right. So how long were you in jail for?

[E]

For like 10 days. It was not a fun experience at all. I highly recommend that not be a good experience and not go there.

[A]

What hap. What happens?

[E]

What happened?

[B]

I don't.

[E]

I really don't want to talk about the details because it's still ongoing, but.

[A]

Well, you don't have to. But, like, can I. What. What. What can we hear? Because I'm so. I.

[F]

We.

[A]

I feel like I. I gotta know something.

[E]

I mean, like, long story short, like, a domestic situation where my ex started breaking things and called the cops and I was the one that got in trouble.

[A]

Okay. All right. I thought. I thought I would have. Thought I would. I. I knowing. I thought you were. I thought you were trapping.

[E]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I did that back in the day.

[A]

Yeah, that runs with the family.

[E]

Not in the family. No.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Just.

[A]

Just in my dumbass end, I thought your cousin trapped.

[E]

No, no.

[A]

What were you. Were you trapping in high school?

[B]

A little bit, yeah. Here and there. Ermine and German.

[A]

Did I ever buy wheat? Did I ever buy weed for you in high school?

[B]

I don't remember.

[E]

I really don't.

[B]

It maybe.

[A]

Who'd you sell. Who did you sell weed to in high school? Give me their full name. Don't give me their full name. Give me their first name.

[E]

There was a lot of people that, like, I don't. I don't know. Like, I don't. I don't even. Like, it's so long ago. I don't even remember, like, everyone. It was a lot of different random people from all took me really, to the randomness parts of Maryland, a farm where I find myself in, like, Pearl County.

[A]

Can I be. Can I actually be honest with you about something? So when I was in high school, I had a lot of friends who trapped. And it always. That was kind of. That actually might still to this day be one of my great aspirations. I mean, it's never gonna. I'm too. It's another lifetime, right? But like, selling wheat, like, being 20, like. Okay, what I'm gonna say is, like, the lifestyle of trapping while you're in high school, it always looked so fun to me.

[E]

It wouldn't be fun to remember this guy named Sasha.

[A]

Tell me.

[E]

Tell me more, bro. He's I mean, he's just gotten himself in like, the craziest situations I've ever heard of.

[A]

Yeah, like. Like the, like all the guys who would, like. And I was friends with some of them, like the. The drug dealer guys, they always seemed like they were having, like. I'm sure it was like, it was stressful. There was like a ton of like, obviously, you know, your. This was like 10 years ago, before weed was like, legal everywhere. But like, there was always like. Like, obviously there's a lot of stress. Like, you can get caught, you can go to jail for a long time. But it just looked fun. Like, like some. Like. Like one of the things I love about, like, my life right now is like, I love running around, you know, Like, I like being able, like, traveling around. They would always be running around. They're always running around. Like, they're. They're always getting a text from some guy. They're always like. They seemed like. It seemed like they had a lot of friends and like, they had a lot of places to be and Yes, I know. Of course it's like, well, they're only friends with them for their weed or, you know, this any other thing. But it just seemed like a fun way to, like. Yes, it just seemed like a fun way to, like, connect with a bunch of people. Now listen, I don't want to do it now. If I were 28 and selling weed, the high schoolers that I. That does not sound like a fun experience. But being 16 and just like driving around, like, you would smoke everyone up, you know, like, because everyone knew that you were. That you were packing, right? And you kind of felt like the man. You kind of felt like an alpha provider, you know, you were like, packing everyone's bowl. Like, I just. The kid, the kids who did that, I just was like, I always envied that lifestyle. I always wonder how they got.

[E]

Do you remember.

[B]

Do you remember there used to be

[E]

a lifestyle where people used to buy, like, glass and bongs for like, like thousands of dollars? And like, you'd walk into the plug's house and he would have like a bong or like a yes. Rig that he's like, yo, this thing is made by some wook on top of a mountain with a lightning stripe. And he carved his name into it. You can see, like with a lead pencil, he carved his name into it. And like, the most rare thing on earth. If you smoke out of this thing, if you smoke this hash out of this, it will cure cancer.

[A]

Yes, absolutely.

[E]

No, you can't use tap Water in my bong. It'll leave a mark. You have to.

[A]

Yes.

[E]

CG Distilled water.

[A]

Yes, absolutely. No, I remember like there was a certain level of. Again, I like, everything is like, there's so many. There's so many pros and cons to like the 10 year experience of realizing that like, none of, none of this fucking shit matters because I kind of miss back in the day when like social status was so easily pronounced by just like, who had the coolest and most expensive rig. You'd go to the Plug's house and he'd have, yeah, like a fucking Rick and Morty bong that was worth like a thousand dollars. And you'd be like, holy shit, how'd this guy get a thousand dollar piece? And now if you go to. If you go to your friend's house and he has like a thousand dollar bong, you're like, dude, what are you doing with your life?

[E]

Hey, man, I gotta bounce off the phone in a second, but it was good chatting with you, man.

[A]

Yeah, it was good chat with you too.

[E]

Definitely good.

[B]

Erman and German on the phone and

[E]

like reminiscing a little bit about the past.

[A]

Well, yeah, maybe in another life I'll. I'll sell weed to you in high school in. In whatever the next universe we we inhabit is.

[E]

Yeah, man, come by Racer Sound sometime.

[A]

All right. Wait, what's going on over there?

[E]

Absolutely nothing.

[A]

Sounds fun.

[E]

It's right there's town.

[A]

All right, man, well, good luck. I'll see. I'll see you around the universe. Wait, what are you. Wait, what are you gonna go do? What are you doing right now?

[E]

I'm actually about to go buy a car.

[B]

About to go look at a car.

[A]

What kind of car?

[E]

2004 Mercedes Benz E500. What?

[A]

Who are you buying it from?

[E]

Somebody in the city. I'm actually sending my friends to buy it because I think it's just a better idea.

[A]

Wait, so why do you have to leave if your friends are gonna go buy it?

[E]

I'm not. They're here to like pick like, pick up some stuff and go do that for me. But I'm on home detention, so I can't leave.

[A]

Wait, if you're. Oh, oh, oh, okay. I was gonna ask why you couldn't go. That, that's nice of your friends to do that.

[E]

Yeah. Anyway, I gotta bounce off the phone, man.

[B]

All right, it was nice chatting with you.

[A]

Nice chat with you.

[E]

Another time.

[A]

I'll see you around the universe. See you, Dan.

[E]

Yeah, man.

[G]

Peace.

[A]

God, the party that that guy's cousin threw was. I was an awful night of my life. So racked with anxiety and I don't know how to even do anything. Fucking Dan, dude. Well, he. I'm glad to see he turned out okay. Glad to see you turned out well. Everything works out in the end.

[G]

To accept, press 1. To send a voicemail.

[A]

Hello?

[B]

Oh, hey, what's up man?

[A]

What's your name?

[B]

Dude, you can call me B.

[A]

B, what's going on, B? How's life?

[B]

Life is life and you know, I been going through a rough patch but just closed on a house the other day and you know, chilling.

[A]

What's been rough about this, this here patch?

[B]

So went through a bit of depression after I stopped drinking alcohol. Sober now and then I cheated on my wife with her sister.

[A]

Oh, okay. Why I go keep going?

[B]

Yeah, no, just poor decisions and very bad mental health.

[A]

So you're so. Oh, I actually find this fascinating because. So quitting drinking made you more depressed?

[B]

Yeah, because I had coped with like depression for like eight or nine years with alcohol and alcohol alone. So once I stopped drinking I didn't have that coping. Any coping skills.

[A]

So how do you. When, when did you quit drinking? When did you quit drinking?

[B]

A little over two years ago.

[A]

Ah, so what do you, how do you cope now?

[B]

Spend a lot of time with my kid and smoke some weed. Okay. And play a little Stardew Valley whenever I'm not working on my house now.

[A]

So you swapped alcohol with like weed and video games and hanging out with your kid?

[B]

Kinda been spending as much time as I can with my kid.

[A]

Are you depressed?

[B]

Yeah, I would say so. Still on medications. Trying to find the right one. That's what, you know, getting a house is a big step in the right direction for me. Pretty good.

[A]

Pretty good.

[B]

I've been, you know, I'm 30 and I've been living with my parents for like seven months.

[A]

How many kids do you have?

[B]

I only have the one.

[A]

Okay. How old are they?

[B]

He is 4 years old and luckily my ex wife and I, we are able to co parent very well. Blessed in that scenario.

[A]

Is she like still. Is she still pissed off at you for cheating on her with your sister? Maybe with her? Not with, with her. If she, if you cheated on her with your sister, she'd probably be like, you know what, I'm not even mad. Just keep them.

[B]

Yeah, she would have. It probably would have been better.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But yeah, that's where my life has been. Just trying to fix the wreckage I caused and me and her sister Are no contact. Because once everything blew up, I was like, yo, I up. And then I stopped talking to her.

[A]

Why? Did you have some form of like actual like romantic relate? Like, were you involved with the sister? Like,

[B]

it got into like a romantic kind of thing.

[G]

She.

[B]

I realized, well. Well, too late. And after everything blew up that she's like really good manipulator and she took advantage of my depression and where I was mentally.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

So I noticed that after I didn't know that that was happening at the time, she was feeding me information, telling me like, how her sister, my wife at the time, was wanting to leave me and all this stuff, you know, making me even more depressed. And then basically pulled me into her to comfort me with that. And then it led to more.

[A]

Whoa, dude. How does something like that even start? Like you're at a family dinner or something and you're. And you're like, let me get your number.

[B]

I have known both of them for like 12 years. So her sister actually introduced me to my now ex wife because we worked at the same place back in the day.

[A]

Oh, so you knew the sister first?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And she is married with three kids. And I don't even know what that scenario is. Like, I stay out of that. Stay away from that. I'm cleaning up my own mess.

[A]

So how often do you have the kids?

[B]

I have him, you know, three or four times a week.

[A]

Okay. Okay. And that's just the one, right? Like you're. I mean, I know you said it's just. What does your like, wife have or ex wife have any other kids?

[B]

Nope, just the one.

[A]

And so you and your ex wife co parent pretty decently?

[B]

We do an excellent job. To the point that we both like get pissed off at. At me for fucking things up because we get along so well.

[A]

Interesting. Interesting. When did this all go down?

[B]

She found out about everything, like the end of August last year. Then I had sort of a little mental break. Spent a few days in a not so great psych ward, spent about five days there and then was released to go sign my divorce papers.

[A]

Damn. The exit from the paper combo. She picked you up from the hospital?

[B]

Yeah, she picked me up from the. The psych ward and drove me. It was like an hour drive.

[E]

She.

[B]

It was her choice to do that, strangely enough. We even stopped at Red Lobster and had lunch together on the way home.

[A]

So did you enter a psych ward right after she found out?

[B]

Yeah, it was. Everything finally just cracked and boiled over for me to where like, you know, I had been Hiding a secret. I had been living a lie for a long time, and once it was exposed, I just cracked. And there's kind of a fear I live with of like, what if one day I do want to hurt myself? And it's never of like, oh, I want to hurt myself, but felt weak that day. And I just checked myself into a hospital.

[A]

What? Wait, so. Yeah, so what's that like? Like, you just are like, oh, I can't handle this, and you check yourself into a psych ward.

[B]

I was on my way to work, and I could either take a left to go to work or right to go to the emergency room and check myself in. And I just ended up taking a right and went to the hospital.

[A]

Whoa. And what do you do? You just say, you just go in and you're like, yo, I think I'm gonna. I think I'm gonna.

[B]

Yeah, I was like, yo, I don't feel super safe. Just want to check myself in.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

And then, you know, I had to, like, get a hold of work to be like, hey, I'm not gonna be a work for a grip. And then, you know, I had to get a hold of my parents, let them know what was going on.

[A]

So what. So what do you do? Like, what do you do in there? You, like, read books? Do they have.

[B]

Yeah, I read a book. They encourage you to do, like, art? I have never been an artistic person, so I hated it. But it was like, the more you participate in their programs, the quicker they release you.

[A]

But you check yourself. Can't you just get out of there anytime?

[B]

They. They were going to hold me to three days, which is like their normal amount. They do. And then my wife at the time came to visit and was like, hey, by the way, I'm filing for divorce. And then they claimed that was grounds enough that I might leave and hurt myself, so they kept me an extra two days.

[A]

Fuck. Damn. Wait, so they. So you're.

[B]

I even told her. I was like, you couldn't have. Like, when I got out, I was like, you couldn't have waited until I got back to the telly? That it's been another two days in there.

[A]

So you're in the psych ward and then your wife comes and serves you divorce papers. And then the doctors or the staff is like, yeah, we're going to keep you in here for a little bit longer.

[B]

Yeah, they were just like, we're going to. They even told us, like, specifically was like, hey, the reason is, is because your ex wife said she's going to divorce You. I thought that was kind of a bogus call because I'm like, hey, like, I already knew that was coming.

[A]

Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. That is. I think if you are. If you're like, I already knew that this might happen. They should be like, all right, well, now they were.

[B]

Hey, go.

[A]

So what's. What's. Why are you depressed now? I mean, there's a. I mean, I. There's 80 billion ways to answer these questions, but what's. Why you depressed?

[B]

You know, that's the thing. I've been trying to figure out, you know, what really is the root of my depression, and I have not found a therapist yet to be able to help me quite answer that question. If there is a root cause or if there is just a chemical imbalance.

[A]

I mean, what do you like, your life?

[B]

I'm in the process of trying to get a new job because to make things even more interesting, I still work with said sister.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Yeah, it's. It's shitty.

[A]

You guys still. Wait. You're no contact, but you don't. But you work together.

[B]

Yeah, like, I just don't speak to her at work. I.

[A]

Okay. You're like, no eye contact.

[B]

Yeah, it's like, keep my head down around her. I'm not like, I don't want anyone to ever be like, hey, he was talking to her and get back to my ex wife, because then she. She would take the kid away, and I choose my child over anyone else, so.

[A]

Yo, what the. That's crazy.

[B]

Yeah. Working on getting a new job.

[A]

That's good. What else is going on?

[B]

Yeah. Bought a house the other day. Been working on that, and that's about it.

[A]

Okay. I mean, do you have friends?

[B]

Not. I mean, I. I do, but nobody I speak to. I. The past few days, one of my friends has been. Helped me. Help me work on, like, electrical stuff at the house. But, like, that's the most I've interacted with another human being in a long time.

[A]

Listen, I'm not a real therapist, but, I mean. Yeah, dude. The most depressed. The most depressed I have been in my life is always when I'm like, alone, you know?

[B]

Oh. Yeah. I. I try to plan things and then I, like, back out last minute, you know, just the energy of doing it.

[A]

What do you, like?

[B]

I am planning Michigan, so I am. I'm gonna follow through with that and I'm going up there with some friends.

[A]

Okay. That's pretty good. What. What. What other. What things have you been, like, planning? Like, your friends text you like, yo, let's go out to the thing. And then you say yes, but you

[B]

know, show up like, yeah, we'll make plans to do something. And then last minute I'm like, hey, like, I can't do it. I got to do this instead. You know, like, or whatever bullshit excuse I want to make up.

[A]

And that's because you're just like, exhausted.

[B]

Exhausted. Even if I haven't done anything? Yeah.

[A]

Okay, so what do you do when you get home from work?

[B]

Typically, I will hang out with my kid for a little while if he's gonna be going back to his mom's house. If not, I am either just trying to pick up time at work or I am playing video games.

[A]

Have you thought about doing something that is. Gets you around like other people? You know, because that's the thing about plague. That's the thing about plans. I don't really like. Plans are actually. I think plans are a bad plan. I. I say, I mean, this is the. I repeat this on like every episode of the podcast by now. But like, you have to find some activity or community where, like, it's the antithesis of plants. It's something where you just show up and life happens. You know what I mean?

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

I am from a small town, like, small area in general. There's no like, big towns around, so it is hard to find like a group of people too.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, that's what I mean in places like that. That's what like, that's what like church is for. I don't know if you're really just.

[B]

I damn near went to church just to try it out.

[A]

Yeah, that. No, I mean, seriously, that is like, what, like the main reason for like a church in a small town is just like something where you can like, show up and there's just like, people. You know, there's.

[B]

I tried doing AA for the same kind of reason, just to like, yeah, there we go. You know, some people, but those are all like church based and it's hard to get into whenever they're like, preaching instead of just like talking about life. And it's more of just a church session, I guess.

[A]

Sorry. Talk about when they talk about, like the higher power.

[B]

Yeah, like the ones I've been to. I've been to two or three different ones and each one, they're all like, the only way you can do this is with God. I'm like, well, I've been doing it two years without them.

[A]

Well, God. Well, God and like higher power aren't necessarily the same thing. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah. No, they. But they definitely are, like, pushing God.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know. What's God mean to you? Like a. Like a physical.

[B]

He could be just like anything floating around in the universe, you know?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

He is different to you than he is to me and to the next person.

[A]

Yeah. Well, church aside, the only reason I mentioned church is because I. It's the only thing I can think of that's like, in a small town, I would say you should move, but you have a child, so. And you want. And you just bought a house. It can't be that. I mean, dude, there's got to be something, right? Like, you just need. You just. You just. You need something where you're like, out and around people. Like, I do think that is. Everyone's wired differently, but that at least just in my own life, that. That to me is like one of just the power players against, you know, depression.

[B]

If I could get past the bars being, you know, bars and serving alcohol and just being around it a bunch, I do enjoy playing Cool. That's something. Setting is wrong.

[A]

Yeah. Interesting. Oh, that's sucks. Yeah. Damn. Because pool. Because that's a good. That's a good. That's a good thing. Like doing like, a pool. Are you at a point where you can be. Yeah, that sucks, right? Because pool is like a good, like, legit ass, like, community hobby thing. Like, they have, like, tournaments and it's very social, but, like, it is inherently always around alcohol.

[B]

Yeah, I. I'm good around alcohol. I just realized I don't really like being around it too much. It does, like, trigger a little bit, like, wanting it, but I do kind of fight that off with when I get, like, an urge. I'll drink a THC drink.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

And, like, you know, mix it with some Sprite, kind of like, bubbly, and

[A]

that's pretty good.

[B]

So, like, that kind of fights the it or like, it's the scratch there a little bit.

[A]

So why don't you go to more. Once you start, like, going to more pool halls.

[B]

Coming back to depression again. Just not bringing myself to do it. Not holding myself accountable.

[A]

Yeah, I get you, man. I get you. I get you. I get you. I. No, I don't know. It's like I have. I have. Yeah. I have friends who, when they get depressed, they just, like, cut everyone off and they, like, don't want to do shit or talk to anyone. I feel the opposite. Where I'm like. I feel like I like, if I'm depressed, I need to be around.

[B]

Pull yourself out of it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And so I start at a certain point, against your own will. Because that's the thing, right? Is at certain point, like against your own will, you have to do these things because it's not gonna feel because for whatever like our bodies are designed so stupidly, you know, because like, you don't know how you're gonna feel in any given situation until you're actually there. But you have to like physically bring yourself to the thing before you realize that the thing is gonna make you feel better than. Than you would just sit around not doing shit.

[B]

No, that totally makes sense. I did. You know, couple months ago, I finally brought myself to go to a reptile show.

[A]

Reptile show, baby. Why'd it suck?

[B]

I'll be honest.

[A]

Why'd it suck? Why did it suck?

[B]

They had so much packed into a time. They had like a three story building and put it in one tiny room and it was just like too much in one little room to like try to be able to see anything. So all the animals were cool, but I did find like the most authentic like Mexican restaurant I could find by just walking into a random place.

[A]

There we go. See that? Yeah, you live your life

[B]

English or only English speaking person in there. And I was like, this is about to be the best goddamn food I ever had.

[A]

Yeah, there we go. See, that's. See depress. I, I. Listen, I'm no expert on solving depression, but I like, I've, I have it and I know what the, like depression just. It go. It goes away as a result of like actually living your life. And it comes to you as a result of like stewing about your life. And so situations like that where you're like, oh, I'm. I'm excited by walking into a new restaurant. Oh, I'm in the moment of being with my kid. This, that, the other thing, whatever you can do to like be in your fucking life is really like the only cure for it.

[B]

No, you're absolutely right.

[A]

And that's why alcohol. That's why alcohol is so. Yeah, I mean, that's why people. That's why alcohol is so addicting is because. That's why addictions are addicting is because they're. People are just looking for ways to, you know, get into the present. Whether it's like sex or weed or food or whatever, you just want some dopamine hit that brings you into the present moment.

[B]

And I do believe that's probably part of the reason, like, you know, coming back to the Cheating. I needed that dopamine hit of someone.

[E]

I don't know.

[B]

I guess showing affection in a way.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, that's, that's a vice for sure. Yeah. No, you can get addicted to it for sure, but I. But that good news is you can also get addicted to pro social things like playing pool or hanging out with your friends or your kid or whatever, you know?

[B]

No, you're right. I. I do need to get out and try something.

[A]

What's your name again, man?

[B]

You can call me B.

[A]

B. B. I'm glad we got to talk. This was, this was nice, man.

[B]

I'm glad to talk to you. I listen to you almost every day.

[A]

Hey, thanks, man. I appreciate, I'm honored to be part of your routine,

[B]

But it was a pleasure talking to you, man.

[A]

Anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?

[B]

Just talk to your spouses if you're having issues, your significant others.

[A]

Thank you. D. And that is all it was either. It was either B or D. But whichever one it was, have a good rest of your entire life.

[B]

You too. See you around.

[A]

See you, man. Pool hall. Maybe I'll go to a pool hall. Be a cool guy at the pool hall, smoke a cigarette, get addicted to cigarettes. You know what? Fuck the pool hall. I'll just stay home and smoke cigarettes.

[D]

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[C]

Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn Any idea into an investable index with a AI it all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year. You can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index, and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, llc. SEC Registered Advisor. Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures [e-mail] Disclosures

[F]

hey everyone, it's Cal Penn. I'm the host of Irsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project, Hail Mary Massive sci fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from Earth.

[H]

I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections. And it's like, okay, yo, yo, yo, is this indulgent? I and I really thought about it. I was like, no. At this point it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that that deeply, emotionally affected me and I left it on the mic. That's great because it served the story. People will say like, oh my God, I cried at the end. It's like, yeah, dude, me too.

[F]

Listen to Irsay, the Audible and I Heart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[A]

Hello?

[E]

Is this Lyle?

[A]

Yeah. What's up, man? What's your name?

[E]

My name is Jacob. You caught me eating some purple Doritos.

[A]

What? What flavor is the purple Dorito? Is that what? The Doritos? The Doritos themselves aren't purple, right? You're eating the purple. The bag is purple. That's the sweet and spicy chili flavor you.

[E]

Yeah, that's the rest.

[A]

Yeah, I know.

[B]

My Doritos.

[E]

Put them away now.

[A]

That's. I keep them out. Who cares? Live your life anyway. What's up, man? What's up with you? How are you? Who are you? What's your name again?

[E]

Jacob.

[A]

Jacob, what did you do today?

[E]

I worked most of the day. I work as a pool tech. I clean pools and work on filters and pumps and systems and all that, so. Well, that took up most of my day. I thought I was supposed to go do something for the county, and then I checked my email and realized I was wrong as I was on my way there. So I had the dinner with some friends, and then I came home to work on my little. My little side hustle.

[A]

What's your side hustle?

[E]

Well, I do a concert photography and videography, and I. I work with a bunch of artists and do, like, music videos and stuff like that and every spare minute that I have. So.

[A]

Wait, you have a. You have a pretty cool life, actually. Do you like your life?

[E]

Yeah, it's a lot of fun. I get to get to go to concerts for free. I might be shooting a band at a soccer game tomorrow in D.C. i'm also a Maryland resident. I know you come from the land of Maryland, so. Shout out Maryland.

[A]

Shout out. Shout out Maryland. What part? I. I want to ask you, like, where specifically in Maryland you are, but I don't want to dox you. But also, if you don't care. I don't care. I know. I. Well, it's up to you.

[E]

I mean, I live in, like, the northern part of Maryland. I could tell you if you want to. I could tell you, like, roughly, I don't know where in Maryland you're exactly from. I could tell you where I'm from if you want to bleep it out.

[A]

Dude, I. I did.

[F]

I.

[A]

Someone swatted me, like, five years ago. Have I ever told this story. Somebody, like, found where I live, and they, like, they found where I live, and they called the police, and they were like, hey, I live at. And then they gave my address, like, pretending they lived at my place, and they were like, I live at, you know, such and such a dress. And a man has broken into my house wearing a. And he's wearing a gecko costume and he has a gun. And the idea being they were trying to get the cops to come to my house and think I had a gun so they would kill me. Is that crazy?

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Where.

[E]

I don't know what scale you were at five years ago to. I feel like I see it happening to, like, these giant Streamers. But, like, were you live streaming at the time, or did it just happen?

[A]

Yeah, the question is whether or not I had enough clout to be. To be. To be swatted. I. All that's to say, I don't want that to happen to you. You know, I don't want that. I don't want somebody to say, you know, I clean pool filters and I have a gun. Whatever. Anyway. Ah, fuck your. Your name one more time.

[E]

Jacob.

[A]

Jacob. Jacob. It's. It's genuine. It's completely okay if not. I'm trying to be a little more loose today. Sometimes. You know, it's funny, for the past. For a lot of times on this podcast, I say to someone, it's okay if not, but do you have something I talk about? And a lot of times, I don't actually mean it when I say it's okay if not. But I mean that about 50% of the time. Depends on what mood I'm in today. I'm. I could take her to Leave it. We could talk about pools for an hour. But do you have something you want to talk about today?

[E]

Did you call me because I called you, or did you call me because I texted you?

[A]

We're on the phone together right now. That's all that matters.

[E]

I was gonna say because I left you a text that I thought you might find interesting.

[A]

Didn't read it.

[E]

Okay, well, I can reiterate if you'd like to.

[A]

Please, please, please.

[E]

I have this kind of conglomerate that I call the mysterious serious X that is really a embodiment of all the failed relationships and situationships I had in, like, middle school, high school, you know, like, kind of those early. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to talk to girls. Made a lot of mistakes.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

And I call it the mysterious X because I, like, I was kind of the first of my friend group to really, like, start dating. And we. Me and my buddies weren't really, like, public with, like, we didn't talk too much about, like, the girls we were talking to. It was kind of weird, like, the amount we didn't talk about it, but when it would be brought up, it's like, oh, I just kind of. You know, it's a conglomerate of multiple different females, but it's like, oh, that is. Was just an experience I had with the mysterious ex.

[A]

Okay. I have multiple questions. I'm also looking at your text now. You said, dear Gekko, life has been good, but the conglomerate that is the mysterious ex haunts me Too often I also long for the nomadic lifestyle because the housing market sucks and I do not dream the American dream. But I feel held down by my girlfriend and current situation. Okay, those are two things. Let's start with the first thing. What? Okay, when you say the mysterious X Ex, by the way, it's not like a chemical or whatever. When you say the mysterious X, this is a conglomerate. This is multiple people that you are referring to as one person, Correct?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. And these are. Okay, so the mysterious X is a force that is created by the traumas endured by you at the hands of all of your previous ex girlfriends.

[G]

Girl.

[E]

Yeah, pretty much.

[A]

Okay, how many of. How many ex girlfriends make up this force? That is the combination of all your ex girlfriends.

[G]

It was.

[E]

It was really like middle school, high school situationships. We. There was only like one or two that was like, we were kind of dating, but not really.

[A]

But it's essentially like, hold up for the middle school. These are middle school situationships.

[E]

It was like, people I was talking to as, like, you know, getting through puberty, like, learning how to talk to and like, you know, lots of, you know, emotional mistakes made, and it's like, just growing up, learning how to. I mean, I'm only. I'm only 19 now.

[A]

Okay. I was gonna ask how old you are because. Yeah, I mean, dude, you gotta. I would. You're 19. How are. In what way is your. Your middle school relationship still haunting you?

[E]

Unfortunately, it's like, people that I still see every once in a while, like, randomly come across them at the gym or, like, they're still kind of in friend circles. So it's like I get reminded of, like, oh, you know, me and that person used to talk and we're like a thing for a while now we're not. And it's just awkward.

[A]

But, dude, it's like, why is that? Why is that awkward? It's middle school, man.

[E]

No, it's really not awkward. It's just me stuck in my head making it awkward. Like, exactly. Full conversation with them, like, nothing happens. But, like, in my head, it's like, oh, I got reminded of that one text I sent to them that one time. You know?

[A]

Dude. Yeah, I. Listen, my friend, you have a free list. You have a free pass to be as cringy and stupid as you want in middle school and high school, man. You're. You're not aware. You are. What are you doing with your life now? Are you in college?

[E]

So I was in college. I dropped out of community college. Okay. Because I've been Doing all this, like, concert media stuff and ended up kind of getting successful with it and making decent money with it. And I was taking classes for it just because I was interested in it. And then I, like, didn't learn anything from my classes. And I was learning way more by just being a doer and going out and actually getting stuff done and networking and meeting people and, you know, going to do stuff that I was like, this is kind of dumb. I'm just going to stop paying for classes and just go do what I enjoy doing.

[A]

Cool. Okay. All right. So you have a girlfriend now?

[E]

I do, so what?

[A]

And you're happy in that relationship?

[E]

Yeah, yeah, very much. We've been together a little over three years now.

[A]

Okay. So. Dude, what. I mean, I don't know if you're. I don't know how serious you are about any of this shit, but like the. The conglomerate known as the Mysterious X. I mean, is that, Is that really a thing? That's like you're in a. You. You have a successful business and you're in a successful relationship. Why do you give a. About anything that happened in middle school?

[E]

I really don't. I'm really, like, past them ultimately. But then it's like, you know those late night thoughts where I'm up too late, you know, working on stuff? I just like get reminded. It's like, oh, you know, I got reminded that person. Or like one of them randomly added me on Snapchat, like semi recently is like, oh, this just like brings back weird, awkward memories, you know, throw my mood off for a day or two and then it's like I'm back to like normal life and I completely forget about it. And then a couple months later, it's like, oh, you know, reminded of them again.

[A]

You know what I'm gonna do, actually? I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna make this worse. You wanna hear something that will actually make you feel worse?

[E]

Go for it.

[A]

You know how you're like, you're up late at night and you start ruminating about like cringy stuff that you did in middle school? Right? I'm gonna make it worse for you. In just a few years, you're gonna be up late at night ruminating about cringy stuff that you are doing right now.

[E]

Cringy stuff that I'm telling a gecko on the phone.

[A]

Exactly, exactly. This is the kind of thing that you're. It's like a cycle. You're gonna be reminiscing on how cringy it was to cringe over your middle school ex girlfriend.

[E]

I just remembered. Can I go on, like, a slight side tangent? I have a little story that kind of pertains to you.

[A]

Sure, sure. Wait, you have a story about the story?

[E]

So you had an episode recently about a. A woman who worked with rats, and you talked about, like, oh, what if one of the rats became sentient? And, like, would you let the rat free?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I remember that. Yeah.

[E]

Well, like, the next night, I had the most vivid dream. I haven't had, like, vivid dreams in a while. I had the most vivid dream about a sentient rat that, like, came out of a pool and was, like, talking to me. I was like, in my dream, I was like, I heard about this somewhere and then I was, like, thinking about you in my dream talking to this sentient rat. Is that weird?

[A]

So you had a. You had a dream about me?

[E]

Well, I had a dream about a sentient rat, and then I. It be kind of came like a lucid dream where I kind of realized I was dreaming and then I, like, was consciously like, oh, this is what Lyle talked about. This is like. It's like that train situation where you, like, you can either hit five people or you change the track and it hit, you know, one person and you're responsible for their death. It's like, what am I. Am I going to let the sentient rat go or am I going to, like, turn it.

[B]

Having a.

[A]

Having the dream itself is like the train situation.

[E]

No. Well, in the. But in the episode when you were talking to the woman, she, like, raises rats to be fed to, like, cats and snakes and stuff. And the situation you posed to her was like, if you found a sentient rat, would you just let him go or would you keep him there to be fed to the. The snakes? And I was like, faced with that same situation of like, oh, do I, like, talk to the rat and let him go free and just let him, like, live a ratatouille life, or do I, like, turn him into a lab and, like, let people do science on him and find cures to cancer or something?

[A]

What's your name again?

[E]

Jacob.

[A]

I don't think it's weird. Jacob, is there anything you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?

[E]

Yeah, I would say just. Just be a go getter. Do things. It doesn't matter what you do, as long as you're doing something. That's been my. One of my biggest things in life. I've gotten to do some really cool stuff. I got. I've gotten to shoot for a bunch of cool bands and meet a bunch of cool people and do all these cool things with, you know, a hobby and an art that I never thought I'd be doing, only just because I thought it was fun. And then I went and did it and now I get to, you know, you do what I love doing and make money from it. And it's a lot of fun and I love it every single day. So just go do, just don't, don't sit still. Just go do something.

[A]

Thank you, Jacob.

[E]

Awesome. Well, thank you, Lyle. Have a good night.

[A]

You too, man. Good luck. Good luck with the mysterious X. I appreciate it.

[E]

Now I'm. Thank you.

[A]

See you, Jacob. That was Jacob.

[D]

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[F]

hey everyone, it's Kal Penn. I'm the host of Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project, Hail Mary Massive sci fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from Earth.

[H]

I really had to make a decision because I couldn't caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections and it's like, okay, yo, yo, yo, is this indulgent? And I really thought about it. I was like, no. At this point, it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that that deeply, emotionally affected me and I left it on the mic. That's great because it served this story. People will say like, oh my God, I cried at the end. It's like, yeah, dude, me too.

[F]

Listen to Irsay the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[G]

Hello.

[A]

Hi. Hello.

[G]

Oh, is this a gecko?

[A]

Yes. Who is this?

[G]

My name's Riley.

[A]

Riley. Have you ever seen this show? There's this fucking Nickelodeon show. It's called the Replacements.

[G]

Oh, I haven't heard of it.

[A]

Ah, there's a character in it named Riley. The show goes, todd and Riley were, oh, so sad. Then they replaced all the people in their life. You know, that's that. It's about these two kids and they can point at someone and press a button. They replaces them with a different guy.

[G]

Huh. I think I ever watched. Oh, wait, this looks familiar.

[A]

Oh, you looked it up. Okay, I'm looking it up. This is definitely something that. What year is this?

[G]

From 2006 to 2009.

[A]

What? Who created. I wonder what they're doing now.

[G]

Wow, that's Disney.

[A]

Let's see. Created by Dan Santat. What's he up to?

[E]

Whoa.

[G]

Did you get my text?

[A]

Dan Satat was born in 1975 to Thai immigrants in Brooklyn before moving to California when he was three. What's he doing right now? Hold on. He's a commercial illustrator. Well, he's doing pretty good. He's like. Oh, he's making books now.

[G]

Like, children's book?

[A]

Yeah, he made a book called A Fish Boy Named Sashimi,

[G]

but. Did you get my text?

[A]

Are you. Hold on, hold on, Riley. Hold on. Hold your horses. Riley.

[G]

Okay.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[G]

Can't believe I'm talking to the gecko.

[A]

Well, interesting. He was a commercial illustrator for GQ Russia. Oh, he's got two sons, a bird, three dogs, and a cat. This guy is cool. Imagine you just make like a. Like you just have three years where you make a Disney Channel show, and then you write children's books and you have a. And then you buy a bird.

[G]

Is it like a parrot? That'd be cool.

[A]

It doesn't say what kind of bird he is. Just says he has a. Just says a bird, three dogs and two cats. All right, what did you want to talk about?

[G]

I was going to ask your opinion on what you think about if smut books are equivalent to porn.

[A]

Are smut books equivalent to pornography? Well, smut books have. From what I understand, I. For what I understand, smut books kind of vary in their level of graphicness. Correct.

[G]

Yeah. Mm.

[A]

And do you. I mean, do you read smut books?

[G]

Yeah, I mean, there's like, that really popular one. It's a. Like, the really popular one is A Court of Thorns and Roses.

[A]

And who does that?

[G]

Let me check. I have the book, but I haven't read it yet. By Sarah J. Maas.

[A]

Wait, okay, so you have the book, but you haven't read it yet? Yeah, but.

[B]

But.

[A]

Okay, but you read books of this genre,

[G]

like, romantic fantasy books? Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

And do you. I mean, do you think that they are on the same level as porn?

[G]

I don't think so, but obviously not.

[A]

Of course.

[G]

A lot of men like and like the manosphere saying that, like, it's equivalent, kind of, but I disagree.

[A]

Okay, so what. So these guys from the manosphere who are saying they're equivalent. What. What's. What's their argument?

[G]

I mean, none of the men in, like, the manosphere really have good arguments, to be honest, so.

[A]

Well, I didn't ask if it was a good argument. I just. What is the argument of that It's. That it's porn?

[G]

Well, it's. You're, like, reading it versus seeing the actual videos of porn, you know, So I don't really. I don't know. I. I can kind of see it a little bit of being equivalent, but not to the extent that men say think it is.

[A]

Do, like the men in your real life, do they. Do they believe that they're.

[G]

They're equivalent in my own personal life? Yeah.

[A]

I mean, there is an aspect of. Okay. And there is an aspect of it where it is, like, genuinely for the plot. Correct. Like, the, like, the plot lines of these books are meant to be engaging. I. You don't watch porn for any sort of, like, engaging plotline.

[G]

Exactly. Yeah. And honestly, a lot of the smut books that are popular are more. It's like 80. No, like, even like 90% of it is just storyline. And there's like 10% of smut, you

[A]

know, I mean, are you jacking off to this stuff? That's another big thing. No, you're not jacking off to this star, then. It's not even on the same any. It's not even in the same universe.

[G]

Right. Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[G]

Have you ever read any smart books?

[A]

When I was younger, I was like, 14. I. There was. I actually think I've talked about this on a podcast before, but there was this, like, website called myfirsttime.com where people would, like, tell stories about, like, losing their virginity and whatnot. I think it was just people. I was probably fake, but, like, people would just tell, like, stories about, like, meeting someone and then, like, having sex with them for the first time. And I used to jack off to that when I was like, 14, but since then I haven't really been like,

[G]

how did you even, like, come upon that? Because, like, when I was 14, I didn't even think of looking for something like that.

[A]

Okay, but when you were. But when you were 14, you don't look for these things. They just. They find you, you know, like when you were 14, like, you're, like, you're. Listen, you're. You read smart. You're a former Tumblr person, correct?

[G]

I'm not, actually.

[A]

No.

[G]

I mean. No. Yeah.

[A]

What was your site? What was your thing?

[G]

For what?

[A]

For the Internet.

[G]

I mean, it was really just Instagram and Snapchat, you know.

[E]

How.

[A]

How old are you?

[G]

22.

[A]

Okay, that's. That's, that's, that's about. That's enough of a generational gap.

[G]

How old are you?

[A]

47.

[G]

You're 47. You look young.

[A]

I'm not 47. I am not 47 years old. I'm. I'm. Who cares? Okay. So, I mean, why can I say. Would you. Why did you want to ask me this?

[G]

I don't know, because I feel it's, like, a controversial question, and I've gotten Like, mixed reviews as to, like, other people's responses and everything. So I was curious to see your stance on smut books versus porn.

[A]

Does if I search up Rouge the Bat from Sonic Nude, that's not smut, right? That's like, what does that count as? What? That's. What would you, what category would you put that under? If I wanted to read stories about Rouge the Bat engaged in a, in a tryst with Shadow or perhaps on, On One Regrettable Evening, the Eggman, that would, that would be under, under smut.

[G]

I guess I would like. Yeah, that would be under Smut. And it's probably going to be on wetbad.

[A]

On what?

[G]

Wet Bad. You don't know Wet bed.

[A]

What? Wet pad.

[G]

Yeah. W A T T P A D. It's.

[A]

This is a, this is a porn fan fiction.

[G]

No.

[A]

Thing.

[G]

No, no. It was just like, like an app that you could pretty much upload your own stories. Like, you don't have to be like a published off like, like author or whatever. But some of the stories on there actually did get published because they were super popular. But Watpad was like a big thing when I grew up, at least.

[A]

What was the most intriguing thing that you have read on Wattpad?

[G]

Oh, it's been forever, Man. I don't remember, actually. I haven't been on it in years.

[A]

Riley?

[E]

Yes?

[A]

You should check out that show, the Replacements. It's pretty, it's. I want, I'm gonna rewatch it. This guy, Dan, it's so. I'm inspired by this guy. He's had a really long and good career, man. He's 50. How old was he when he made the Replacements? He was like, my damn. He was like.

[G]

What year was he born?

[A]

1975. He's 31.

[G]

Okay, so he was 31. Yeah.

[A]

That's pretty good. I feel like I'm almost 31.

[G]

How old are you?

[A]

I'm almost 31. Riley, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

[G]

No, I, I still didn't really get your opinion on if you think.

[A]

What do you mean you didn't get my. What do you mean, get my opinion? Well, what do you mean you didn't give. I, I, I totally. I, I absolutely gave my opinion.

[G]

Do you think it's actually, like, equivalent? Yes or no?

[A]

Well, I gave you my opinion. I said it's not. They're not even in the same universe.

[G]

Okay. Okay. Perfect. Thank you. That's perfect.

[A]

You came in here with some kind of. I don't. Do you feel like you got what you wanted out of this interaction.

[G]

I don't know.

[A]

I. I can handle whatever the truthful answer is.

[G]

I mean, to be honest, I'm kind of drunk.

[A]

Okay.

[G]

And I didn't even think that I was ever going to be able to talk to you, so I was kind of caught off guard. I thought I was, you know, shot in the dark, you know, what do you do?

[A]

What do you. It's Tuesday night. What do you. Are you celebrating something?

[G]

No.

[A]

Well, every day is a day to celebrate.

[G]

That's true. It's a. You know, every day you should celebrate.

[A]

I'll see you around the universe, Riley.

[G]

All right. I'll see you, Gekko.

[D]

Dude.

[A]

Please tell me if someone else knows remembers this show. It's a little strange that they can just like, oh, fuck. Nancy Cartwright played the main kid. Grey Leslie played the other kid. Why do I know who this woman is? She's like a super famous voice actress person. Who'd she play? She played. Oh, she played Vicky, the babysitter. I'm U.S. transportation Secretary Sean Duffy. The sound of a seatbelt. It's one of the most important sounds in our car. It means everyone is ready and everyone is safe. The more our kids see us put on our seatbelts, the more natural it is for them to put theirs on, too.

[B]

Make it a priority.

[A]

Buckle up every time. Hear the sound.

[B]

Make it a habit.

[A]

Paid for by NHTSA

[D]

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[A]

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[A]

It matters that we're here for you when you need us, day or night. And we want everyone to feel welcomed and rewarded. It matters that CVS is here to fill your prescriptions and here to fill

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[F]

Hey everyone, it's Kalpen. I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast, Hearsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Every episode, I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible. It's the book club for your ears. Listen to Irsay the Audience, Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[A]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.