“I MIGHT BE RACIST”

Summary

Therapy Gecko — “I MIGHT BE RACIST”

Date: August 9, 2026
Host: Lyle (Therapy Gecko)
Podcast: Therapy Gecko by iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Overview

In this candid and humorous episode, Therapy Gecko (Lyle) fields calls from strangers wrestling with complicated, deeply personal issues—ranging from casual racism in workplace banter, to family trauma fueling resentment toward the homeless, to anxieties about moving in with a new partner after betrayal. The episode, characterized by Lyle’s signature empathy, playful irreverence, and insightful musings, dives into the messy reality of human relationships, self-awareness, and the endless search for connection and understanding.

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Call 1: “Am I Racist?” — Olivia's Struggle with Offensive Humor

Starts: 01:36

Main Discussion

• Setting: Olivia calls in from the dollar store where her sister works, sharing a lighthearted story before moving to her main concern: she worries she might be racist based on her workplace jokes.
• Confession: Olivia admits joking often about racial stereotypes (especially toward Hispanic and Black people), despite saying she “loves everyone,” but coworkers have called her racist (04:02).
• Her Understanding: Olivia believes racism is about inequality or intentional harm, not “just jokes,” and feels misunderstood. She’s also aware that she enjoys being the center of attention and loves making people laugh.

Host’s Analysis

• Lyle challenges Olivia’s frame: He notes a contradiction—if everyone jokes, why is she singled out? Olivia admits she makes these jokes more often and more intensely than others (07:59).
• Social Cohesion Focus: Lyle steers the conversation toward social dynamics rather than moral policing. He observes that if Olivia notices discomfort among her coworkers, dialing back could help her fit in and maintain relationships (10:59).
  • Quote – Lyle (11:08):
    “If you want to maintain greater social cohesion with your coworkers and they're telling you that you're... making people uncomfortable, then... keep it down a little bit.... Have some restraint and some intention.”

Digging Deeper

• Impediments: Olivia cites ADHD and impulsivity, which lead her to blurt things out without considering impact (12:28).
• Host Empathy: Lyle acknowledges it’s tough with neurodivergence but emphasizes agency and practicing restraint, reframing it as a way to grow new sides of oneself.
  • Quote – Lyle (15:13):
    “For the beginning... it's going to feel very manual... you're rewiring your brain... But once you practice this, it'll stop being a manual thing... Your social skills will grow as a result.”
• Performance Aspect: Olivia connects this pattern to her family (a “terrible” racist grandfather, a jokester brother) and her craving for attention. She recognizes she pushes limits until people push back (15:15-16:22).
  • Quote – Olivia (15:15):
    “If I like the company, then I love attention... I love making people laugh... when I just get deeper and deeper with the kind of things that I joke about because... I want to test the limits.”

Lyle’s “Infinite Selves” Framework

• Lyle proposes a reframing: Olivia doesn’t have to dilute herself or censor, but can “explore different versions of herself” that are more appropriate to the context—an idea equally comforting and liberating.
  • Quote – Lyle (18:52): “I don't believe in the true self. I believe... we're an amalgamation of... infinite ourselves... in relation to [infinite] different people and... situations... Use it as an opportunity to explore a different version of yourself that can still be funny... but... more appropriate for the situation.”
• He encourages Olivia to remain present and be intentional with her humor, suggesting comedy doesn’t rely on darkness or offensiveness to be effective (19:34).

Impact and Reflection

• Olivia acknowledges she dislikes being called racist and worries her jokes might be influencing her actual perceptions (21:01).
  • Quote – Olivia (21:32): “I don't like being called it, and I'm worried it's actually starting to maybe... influence how I think of people.”
• Lyle encourages her to view restraint as self-improvement, not self-suppression, and to discover “new versions of herself” for different social settings (23:02).

Memorable Close

• Lyle Playfully Asks: “Do you hate green people?” (24:13)
• Olivia Gratefully Concludes: “I really appreciate that advice... I'm gonna be thinking about that a lot more.” (24:38)
• Lyle expresses curiosity to hear future updates—he's invested in Olivia’s social growth.

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Call 2: “My Cousin Made Me Dislike the Homeless” — Steven’s Cynicism Grows

Starts: 30:36

Main Discussion

• Backstory: Steven details his cousin’s tragic downward spiral—childhood trauma, addiction (fentanyl, among other substances), homelessness, losing custody of kids, and eventually even her arm to drug-induced medical neglect (31:02–32:49).
• Family Support: Despite widespread family intervention (rehab offers, housing, hospital support), Steven’s cousin actively rejects help and blames the family for her misfortune (34:52–35:03).

Key Issue

• Changing Perspective: Steven, once empathetic toward the homeless, becomes jaded, seeing some homelessness as a consequence of choice rather than circumstance. He describes seeing his cousin on the street and feeling helpless, unable to step in further because she’s “beyond help” (44:38–45:17).
  • Quote – Steven (38:19): “She was a clear example of... you can give this person all the resources and all the shit in the world and they will still not want it and rather live the life they live. So now... should I feel bad for these people?... Some of these people must be here by choice.”

Host’s Analysis

• The Agency Debate: Lyle explores the question of free will and determinism, noting how family members raised in similar conditions can still end up with radically different life outcomes (41:11–41:49).
• Family Impact: Steven shares how her brothers and mother struggle with grief and frustration, and how this pain colors his understanding of other homeless or addicted people.

Reflection

• Resignation: Steven admits he focuses on his own family and happiness now, occasionally helping his cousin with cash but unable to “solve” her condition (44:15).
  • Quote – Steven (44:03): “If her brothers and her family have already gone above and beyond... and she don't want to change, what the fuck am I supposed to do?”
• Philosophical Conclusion: Lyle acknowledges the messy reality—sometimes people don’t (or can’t) change, but he still chooses to “believe in agency as people.”
• Steven’s Advice: “Stay humble. That’ll be my advice.” (51:49)

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Call 3: “Fear of Moving In” — Gerald’s Relationship Anxiety

Starts: 54:02

Main Discussion

• Moving In Nervousness: Gerald’s preparing to move in with his girlfriend of a year, but past relationship trauma is haunting him—the last time he did this, his partner hid an emotional affair for 18 months (54:13–56:44).
• Trust Issues: Though happier in his current relationship, Gerald experiences intrusive anxiety, worried betrayal will repeat itself (56:54–57:54).

Host’s Guidance

• Logical Reassurance: Lyle questions what about Gerald’s new partner gives him any reason to expect betrayal—Gerald admits nothing, actually feeling far more secure than before.
  • Quote – Lyle (61:32): “If you have a good gut feeling about this person and you're going into it, then you're just doing what you could with the information that you had at the time... you can't... be sitting around wondering if your girlfriend's gonna cheat on you. You just have to be in the... present of your current relationship.”
• Existential Acceptance: Lyle suggests embracing uncertainty as an inherent part of love and existence—surrendering to the unknown and resisting the urge to let anxiety sabotage potential happiness.
• Gerald’s Outlook: Having survived betrayal already, Gerald feels “fortified by the experience”—less devastated by the prospect than before (63:12).

Philosophical Sendoff

• Gerald’s Parting Words:
  “One day, nothing you do will matter. Live to your fullest. You matter more than you think. Your feelings are important. I love all of you. Have a good night.” (65:04–65:18)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Lyle on Social Adaptation:
  “You should use [this situation] as an opportunity to explore a different version of yourself... I don't believe in the true self.” (18:52)
• Olivia's Family Influence:
  “My grandpa was a terrible person. Thank God he’s dead.” (09:33)
• Steven’s Sibling Comparison:
  “It’s interesting that her brothers are doing fine, but she’s not. Like, what do you think happened?” (41:11)
• Gerald’s Existential Reflection:
  “At one day, nothing I do will matter. So I'll just be here... existing in this little blink of existence we’ve been granted.” (63:47–64:15)
• Lyle’s Nihilistic Humor:
  “You gotta replace all of your anxiety with nihilistic depression. That’s how you solve every problem in your life.” (64:22)

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Key Episode Themes & Insights

• The Complexity of Racism and Humor: Lyle encourages self-reflection, responsible humor, and intentional social adaptation rather than gut-level defensiveness or self-censorship.
• The Limits of Help: Repeated in Steven’s story—sometimes people, despite many available resources and love, are unable or unwilling to save themselves. This challenges listeners to balance compassion with boundaries.
• Moving Forward After Hurt: Through Gerald, the episode addresses trust, the imprint of past betrayal, and the necessity of living (and loving) in the present.
• The Value of (Self-)Exploration: Across calls, Lyle advocates reframing self-improvement, not as self-denial, but as growth into new, situation-appropriate selves.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Olivia – Am I Racist?: 01:36–25:28
  • Confession starts: 04:02
  • Lyle’s advice on social cohesion: 10:59–12:03
  • Infinite selves framework: 16:22–19:13
• Steven – Homelessness & Family Trauma: 30:36–51:57
  • Cousin’s story begins: 31:02
  • Steven’s empathy turns to cynicism: 38:19
  • Reflection on agency and change: 49:55–51:12
• Gerald – Relationship Anxiety: 54:02–65:20
  • Story of previous relationship: 54:53–56:44
  • Lyle on moving forward: 61:32–64:15
  • Gerald’s existential closing: 65:04–65:18

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Tone and Language

The episode interweaves heartfelt vulnerability with dark humor and philosophical musings. Lyle is warm, funny, and nonjudgmental, drawing out confessions while nudging callers—and listeners—towards nuanced self-inquiry and growth.

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This summary provides a comprehensive, structured snapshot of the Therapy Gecko episode “I MIGHT BE RACIST,” distilling its major stories, insights, and memorable moments for those unable to listen.

Transcript

[Caller]

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[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

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[Caller Olivia]

Oh my gosh. Hello.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Hello. What is your name?

[Caller Olivia]

My name is Olivia.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Olivia. Nice to meet you, Olivia. My name is Lyle.

[Caller Olivia]

Awesome. Perfect. I watch you and I really enjoy you. I am at the Dollar store. Real quick. Let me check out.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Okay. What are you buying?

[Caller Olivia]

Reals. Oh. So my sister works at the Dollar store and she had to go to a different location to help out and this location has a lot of stuff. So I got. I got some beads which they usually never have and my mom is obsessed with their hand sanitizer so I got some of that too.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

That's cool. Wait, what? What kind? Is it like a flavored hand sanitizer or is it just like a standard hand sanitizer?

[Caller Olivia]

What do you mean? Like, do you drink it because you.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

No, no. Well, if flavored it. Flavored doesn't. You know what, that's. That's a good point. I guess flavor doesn't like scented yes, thank you. Scented.

[Caller Olivia]

Yeah, is a better term. It is dragon fruit bloom and palm island breeze, and these are new ones. And my mom's, like, one of those freaks that watches channels on, like, dupes of real products sold at the dollar store, and so she collects a bunch of this stuff.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Okay. How long is it gonna take you

[Caller Olivia]

to

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

check out of the grocery store?

[Caller Olivia]

Honestly, I will. I will put my basket back and go out in my car to talk to you.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Okay, Wait, wait. Can we just talk right now? Is this. Whatever you're doing right now? Seems fine.

[Caller Olivia]

Okay. Yeah, well, just, you know what I got to talk about. I don't know if that's okay with public.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Okay, well, all right, let's start. You said. You texted me and you said, help. I think I'm racist. I would like therapy for this.

[Caller Olivia]

Yes.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Okay, go. I'm open. I'm open. My. Go ahead. What's. What's going on?

[Caller Olivia]

Let me. Let me hurry and go out to

[Caller]

my car real quick. Okay.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Yes. Maybe. You know what? You're right. Maybe this is a. Inside of the car.

[Caller Olivia]

Yeah.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Yeah, you're right.

[Caller Olivia]

I'll be back. Okay. So at my job, we are all very comfortable. We are. Me and my co workers, we're all comfortable. We joke all the time. And some of the things I joke about is, you know, a little more darker. And one of the things I joke about a lot is Hispanics and black people. Although I. I love. I love both of them.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

The way. Yeah, but the way you. There's. There's a. There's a certain. You know, there's these. There's, like, ways of referring to people where, like, if you. If you say it in a certain inflection, it sounds.

[Caller Olivia]

Yeah, I just realized that that's also a problem I have at my job.

[Caller]

Huh.

[Caller Olivia]

So at work, we joke a lot. And where I live, we help a lot of different races. And so I. I personally, when I think of racism, I think of, like, back in the, like, slave era. I. I completely do not agree with that. I love. I love. I love everyone. I think they're adorable, especially because I help them a lot. But with my terminology, like, earlier I said Hispanics and black people. I could have said Latino and African American, but. Okay, my brain. My brain doesn't really go there.

[Caller]

Huh.

[Caller Olivia]

I. I do make jokes because I think jokes are funny and because all my co workers make jokes. But then, like, Veil told me I'm racist, and I'm like, no, no, no. But I'm not. And they're like, well, what do you think racist means? And I. And I said, well, I was. I was always under the impression that it meant that you did not view everyone as equal and that you wished harm upon these people. And I absolutely do not agree with that. But my. I do joke about stereotypes. I. I think it's funny. And. But my co workers told me that that is also racism. And I. I guess I want to hear another person's opinion because I really. I really like making these jokes. I don't mean it at all. And I love everyone, but I also don't want to be called a racist.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Okay, so multiple. I have multiple questions. One is, there's. I'm. There's a bit of a contradiction in that. Like, you said that you're joking around with your co workers, but yet your co. And that you're all making these jokes. But why are your co workers the ones that are getting upset about these jokes if they're the ones making the jokes with you? Are you. Are you making these jokes with your co workers, or are you mainly the only one making the jokes?

[Caller Olivia]

So I am not the only one making the jokes. We have. So one of my co workers is Argentine, and he speaks Spanish, and it's beautiful listening to him speak. Oh, my gosh.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Okay.

[Caller Olivia]

Yeah.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

All right.

[Caller Olivia]

He. He. He will. He will make those jokes. Some of my other co workers make those jokes, but they don't do it a lot. And I have.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Okay, so you're telling me. You're telling me you're doing it a lot more than they are?

[Caller Olivia]

Yes, because I. So I've been at this job about three years now, and I. I was. When I first started, I was reserved. I kept quiet because I am a very outgoing, loud person. And so I wanted to get a feel of this job. I do work with one of my old co workers at my very first job. So I'm like, okay, that's a good sign. And we all have a lot of fun. We play card games. We play board games at work. We've gone out to do escape rooms and dinners. But there. There are some co workers that don't care for those jokes.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Caller Olivia]

And they don't. I think she calls it out on me only because I give a reaction. And I. I am told that I am very easy to rage, bait, and make fun of.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Caller Olivia]

So whenever my other two male coworkers will make a joke, they don't say it as much. But when they say a joke, she doesn't call them out on it.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Is it fair to say that of everyone in the group, you seem to like the jokes the most.

[Caller Olivia]

Yes.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Okay, There. Here we go. Okay, so listen. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Say your. Say your piece.

[Caller Olivia]

I. I did grow up in a household. My grandpa was a terrible person. Thank God he's dead.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Okay.

[Caller Olivia]

He. He would say the. The worst things.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Sure.

[Caller Olivia]

About other people. And that rubbed off on my brother and the rest of my family quite a bit. We. Not that we would, you know, again, wish them harm or anything, but, like, you know. Dario, what's your.

[Caller]

What's your.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

What's your name again?

[Caller Olivia]

Olivia.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Olivia. Okay, let me think about what my thoughts are on this. So I'm gonna approach this from the perspective simply of you as a person wanting to maintain social cohesion among your community of other people. So I'm gonna approach it from that perspective and less of a, you know, moral policing words perspective. And from that perspective, it sounds like your co workers like, having fun, but that you're taking it too far to a point where. Where it seems like it is making them uncomfortable. Is that accurate?

[Caller Olivia]

I mean, yes, I understand why you're saying that, but. Yeah. Yeah, I think you're right.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Okay, so. So listen, from that perspective. If you want to maintain greater social cohesion with your coworkers and they're telling you that you're, like, making all of these jokes that are making people uncomfortable, then I think it would be best for you and your desire to maintain social cohesion to keep it down a little bit and maybe, like, have a. Have some restraints and some intention about how you're going about these social situations.

[Caller Olivia]

Yes.

[Caller]

So,

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

you know, that is. Keep it. Keep it. Keep it down a little bit is the long and short of it, right?

[Caller Olivia]

Yeah.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

And I get the whole thing of, like, your dad said crazy shit growing up and all that. Sure. But, like, now. Now it's on you to figure out how to, you know, be among the world. So what do you think about that? What do you think about toning down the jokes for your own sake of maintaining social cohesion?

[Caller Olivia]

Yes, I do. I do like the idea of that. It's just rather hard for me. So. I have adhd and I have an impulsivity disorder. I do take medication, but a lot of times I will just blurt out before I even think about it. And then people's reactions is what made me be like. Makes me realize, like, oh, my gosh, did I just say something that was okay?

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Yes. Fair, fair, fair. Do you. I mean, do you have some. Do you have, like, a form of, like, Autism or something like that.

[Caller]

They.

[Caller Olivia]

I, I was told that I was tested when I was younger and I did not, but everyone at work is convinced I have something.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Okay. And listen, whatever it is you are claiming that you have some sort of mental thing that causes you to speak before saying stuff. And I empathize. I really, I empathize with you on that. Ok. We're not all born with perfect social skill sets, but you have the agency to like, identify it and, you know, talk on here about it. And so I believe that if, if you want to, and then maybe this is the question for you. Do you want to have greater social cohesion and more control over what you say and how you present yourself?

[Caller Olivia]

Yes, absolutely.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Then per. Then it's then great. Then if you do, then you would feel good going through these exercises of restraint. And, and by the way, and here's the thing about social skills and exercises of restraint is that for the beginning of it, it's going to feel very manual. So when you're out there and you're like, I'm going to, like when you, when you say to yourself, okay, today I am going to think about what I say before I say it, it's gonna, you're gonna struggle with it because that's, you're like rewiring your brain to act in a way that is different from your impulses. And so it's going to be really a struggle for a bit. But then here's the thing, is that once you practice this, it'll stop being a manual thing. It'll start being automatic and you'll, you'll, your social skills will grow as a result of this intentional effort.

[Caller Olivia]

Okay, I, I will definitely start doing that. I think another factor of it is I, if I like the company, then I love attention.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Yeah.

[Caller Olivia]

I love making, I love making people laugh. And my older brother, I didn't get along with him a lot growing up because, I don't know, he has his own problems. I had adhd, I was unmedicated. So I hear I was a little monster. Now we've started connecting and he loves those kinds of jokes. And so when I say something light, like a light comment, and I get reactions like laughter, I want more. And yeah, when I just get deeper and deeper with the kind of things that I joke about because I don't know if it's because I want to test the limits, but I love the reactions I get except for when I'm told it was. It's too much.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

So let me, let me, let me explain this to you. And this is something that I've been thinking about a lot in my personal life recently that you. Maybe you'll get something out of, which is that. Okay, so your brother, right? Your brother likes these jokes.

[Advertisement Voice]

Yeah.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

So when. So when you. So when you're with your brother, be yourself and tell your jokes and be. And feel. Feel free to be the version of yourself that you feel comfortable being with your brother, right?

[Caller Olivia]

Yes.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

And then in this bigger social situation where, like, the reception is not going to be the same as it is with your brother. Get this. I don't believe. I really don't. I don't believe that you have to necessarily dilute yourself or be less yourself or. Or even really censor yourself, because those are all like kind of versions of withholding who you are. And instead I would say that the. You should use it as an opportunity to explore a different version of yourself. Because I don't believe in the true self. I believe in that our just. Our lives are just. We're an amalgamation of, you know, the infinite ourselves, you know, in relation to the infinite, different people and different situations that we find ourselves in. So use it as an opportunity to explore a different version of yourself that can still be funny and can still be interesting and can still be engaging and. And all these things that you like being, but in a way that is more appropriate for the situation because you'll develop new parts of yourself, right? Like for. Like. Like with being funny, right? Like there's a version of yourself when you're like. Like when you're flirting with someone that's a version of yourself that's trying to be funny and interesting. When you're with your friends and you're trying to make your friends laugh, that's a. You're doing it. You're going to be acting differently. You be doing a different version of yourself trying to be funny in different ways. When you're talking to your parents and you're trying to, you know, be the best version of yourself, that's a different version of you. And so you're just exploring a different version of yourself that's still yourself, but that is more suited for the situation that you're in. Does that make sense?

[Caller Olivia]

Yes, it does.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

And so now you don't have to be like, oh, how do I not say these things? But rather, like, when I'm in this situation, like, how do I feel? Because. Because part of the. The blurting out things is. Is to me, it's a version of not being even present.

[Caller]

Right?

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

So before. So. So when you're around your co workers and you're in these situations, just like get a feel for like how you feel in your body and in your mind when you're around these people and like explore different like feelings and different ways of being when you're around these people that aren't necessarily the ones that are your, your gut reactions. And it's great because you'll find, you'll find, you'll be like, oh, I didn't realize I can be this version of funny, you know, like, it's like a comedian, right? Like a st. Like, like, like the greatest stand up comedians of all time. They can be really funny saying like, you know, dark, crazy, you know, politically incorrect shit. But they can also, like, if they're really skilled, they can also be really funny without doing any of that shit. And they can be funny and interesting over a, you know, wide spectrum of ways of being. So look at yourself as a human being like that and be like, oh, I can be funny and interesting and engaging over a wide variety of ways. And you'll end, it'll, you'll, like, if you really try to approach your social life like that, you'll discover new versions of yourself and, and that's really exciting.

[Caller Olivia]

Okay. Yeah, I, I, I, I like this, I like the sound of that. I, yeah, I definitely, because I don't, of course I hate it when she's like, you're being racist. But then I, yeah, I don't like being called it and I'm worried that it's actually starting to maybe of like influence how I think of people.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

But how, so what do you, how, what do you mean it's starting to influence how you think of people.

[Caller Olivia]

So I have neighbors across the street.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Huh.

[Caller Olivia]

They are, it's a Latino family. They, they repair cars. They buy cars, repair them and sell and then sell them. And they always, their garage is so full of equipment that there's no cars in their garage. They park them in their driveway on the grass on our street. And I live right in an area where like it's a curve into a neighborhood and my house is the first one there. There have been several people that have almost gotten into accidents because they have so much cars parked on the road that you can't see over their cars on if there's a car coming to turn or not. And even, even in the winter because it's a, it's kind of a sharp turn. There's a lot of cars that will

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

slit and what's your, what's your name again?

[Caller Olivia]

Olivia.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Olivia. Olivia. Did anything I say get through to you? Did you. Did any of that make sense?

[Caller Olivia]

It. It.

[Caller]

It did.

[Caller Olivia]

I'm just. Okay, yeah. It just so.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

So like. Look, I like the whole thing about, like, the way that people. I don't think you should really be concerned about. I don't think you should be so concerned about what other people think of you, necessarily, but you should. But you want to keep the social cohesion. You want to keep hanging out with these people, and you want to be able to both fit in and be yourself, and you want to be able to overcome whatever mental illness or family, whatever, that prevents you from doing that. And I'm just saying that I think there's a blueprint for you to be able to do that and that you should look at it as like a. You know, a way of discovering new versions of yourself as opposed to just like, oh, I don't want to be thought of as racist just because it's not. It's kind of boring, but. Olivia?

[Caller Olivia]

Yes?

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Are you still there?

[Caller Olivia]

Yeah. Yeah, sorry.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Was this helpful to you in any way, shape or form?

[Caller Olivia]

Yes.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Do you hate green people?

[Caller Olivia]

No.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Okay, good. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

[Caller Olivia]

I don't know.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Sweet. You want to say one of the jokes? No, I'm just kidding.

[Caller Olivia]

No, no, no. Well, I really. I really appreciate that advice and. For sure, man, I'm gonna. I'm gonna be thinking about that a lot more.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

All right, ma'. Am. Olivia, good luck. I'll see you around the universe. Let me know how it goes. Call back in. See if you call back in. We'll. I want to hear if. If there were. If you feel. If you feel like there's a div. I would. I would be down to hear from you again. If you feel like there's a development. If you feel like there. You've got a development here, I want to hear it.

[Caller]

So call.

[Caller Olivia]

And I do have a lot of problems, so we can always talk about something else after I give an update, if you want.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Okay. Okay.

[Caller]

All right.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

We'll do this again. We'll figure this out.

[Caller]

We're going to get.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

We're going to get somewhere.

[Caller Olivia]

Thank you so much.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Okay. Bye, Olivia.

[Caller Olivia]

Goodbye.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

I think. Is Olivia racist? Well, you know. You know, what's funny is, like, I don't know. I'm. I think some people are.

[Caller]

Are.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

They just have. Have a bit of a crazy. They just have crazy vibes. We all know people like this. We all know. We all have them in our lives. We keep them at varying amounts of distance, but we all know we all have people like this in our lives who, who say stuff without thinking that we keep at varying lengths of distance. We want them to, you know, thrive and live good lives as we want to, as we want all of our friends to. So thanks for sharing, Olivia. Hey folks, I just want to interrupt the episode very quickly to remind you guys that I am about to be on tour. I am going on the road to 23 different cities in America, as well as a few in Canada to do my live therapy gecko show where I will be telling stories, giving presentations, and conducting live group gecko therapy sessions with the audience. I am very happy with the material that I've been doing at these shows and the stories that I've been telling. I think that they're fun and interesting. And we will also be doing our trademark group therapy sessions with people as well. And if you're a fan of the podcast, you'll have a good time at the show. And if you bring people who don't know the podcast, the show is set up in such a way that they will have a good time as well. And you should come out to a show. We're going to be doing shows in Appleton, Wisconsin, Madison, Wisconsin, Detroit, Bloomington, Chicago, Atlanta, Nashville, dc, Philly, New York City, Boston, Toronto, Lansing, Grand Rapids, Montreal, Houston, Vegas, Salt Lake, Denver, Phoenix, Austin, New Orleans, and motherfucking Anchorage, Alaska. And in the New York show, I'm gonna be filming it. I'm gonna be filming a one man show. It's gonna be me filming all of the material that I've been doing. And so if you want to be part of my one man show comedy storytelling special, you can go to the show in New York City on August 29th. So please come out and get a ticket. You can go to the link in the episode description to find the link for the tickets or you can just type in www.therapygeckotour.com and find a link to get tickets there. Don't google therapygecko tour.com because that takes you to a fucking spam thing where like some stupid website is selling tickets to my shows for like $80. They do not cost $80. I swear the tickets don't cost $80. Go into the URL putting in or thing of your browser and put www.therapygeckotour.com and go there directly. Or just go to the link in the episode description and you'll find it anyway. Yeah, come see a show. It'll be fun. I'm about to be on the road. All right, this was too long. I'm sorry. This was too long. Let's get back into the episode.

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[Caller]

Hello, is this live?

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Yes, sir.

[Caller]

I didn't think I was gonna get through so quick.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

What's your name, sir?

[Caller]

I'm Steven.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Steven. What's going on, Steven? How's life, man?

[Caller]

It's going pretty good, man. Another day, another dollar. You know what? Can't really complain about too much shit.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

You texted me and you said my cousin made me dislike the homeless.

[Caller]

Oh yeah. So backstory. So I have a cousin. Respectfully, she dumb as she is pretty dumb. So she kind of had like a. A somewhat traumatic childhood. But then like everybody tried to like help her out, do a bunch of. Long story short, she ended up being like, she became homeless and a like fentanyl addict I think. I don't know. She's on so much, it's kind of hard to keep track of all the shit she's on. So this was probably like six months ago. Homegirl ended up passing out over like a fennel thing.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Geez.

[Caller]

She passed out, landed on like on her arm. And I guess she was on her arm for like six to 10 hours. And she had to get her arm amputated because, oh, she lost like a blood flow on the arm. So she had to lose that because, wait, she lost.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

She had to get her. She. Because like, I'll fall asleep, I'll like wake up and my arms asleep. Type of like she. She had to amputate her arm because she slept on it wrong.

[Caller]

Yeah. So she, when she passed out, she passed on. You know how when you fall asleep, like on your arm, it falls asleep because you lose blood flow?

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Well, she was on that shift for so long that it cut off all circulation to her arm. So when they found her and took her to the hospital, Sarah, like, yo, this is fucked up. There's no saving the arm. Got to cut it off because it's causing issues. Wait, I cut off.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

But you can. But you can fall asleep on your arm without fucking fentanyl?

[Caller]

Yeah, but she was on it for like 10 hours though. Like more than 10 hours. And like, you gotta imagine like when you're on all those drugs, like, your blood isn't the same, your body's not the same. And usually when you fall asleep on your arm, you wake up eventually after a couple hours because your arm is asleep. So you kind of naturally wake up. But the femme made her like pass out for that long that it just cut off circulation. And it was so long. And it was probably a bunch of other too going on. Maybe she was shooting up on my arm too. Who knows?

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

That's crazy.

[Caller]

But long story short. Yeah. And then so she and all her brothers found her at the hospital. They somehow found her, they contacted the family. And so she's. She, she goes to the hospital. We're all there as a big old family trying to help her because she felt like into like a small coma. But then she woke up. She was in that for maybe like two weeks. And she, her body went through detox, but her mind never really went through detox. So when she woke up, you can imagine she was feeding for that event, feeding for all these drugs. And so her brother had set up to. For her to get like free rehab. She was going to get a place to stay because she was homeless. She had no place to go. All of her family didn't really trust her to stick around because one, she was very aggressive. She Stole a bunch of shit. Just wasn't safe to have around people. So they set her up to get like free rehab. She was going to stay in the location for that whole period and she was like, no, I'm good, I don't want it. Take me back to the streets. I'd rather go back to the streets than pretty much stay with you guys or stay at this rehab place. And so, so as a family, you can't really do at that point because, like, if that's their choice, that's their choice.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Right?

[Caller]

But then she keeps coming around bitching and complaining to everybody, saying that we're the reason she lost her arm. And then.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Wait, wait, wait, how, Wait, how are you guys the reason she lost her arm?

[Caller]

Because she's blaming us for the, I guess the trauma or like that nobody cares. But like, we've all cared at one point. We've all reached out to help and she doesn't take the help, but she's going around saying that nobody, nobody really cares about her. So then now she's like at the point, the stage of the drug use where she's not fully there anymore. Even if she got clean, I don't think she would. She would be the same anymore. I saw her like 2ish weeks ago in the middle of the street try to say what's up? And she was telling me that she was going to become a lawyer to save people from being discriminated against from the police or some shit like that. Okay, she's a homeless.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Do you think she can do that?

[Caller]

No, she's.

She.

She's got cracked out at this point. And she was never really the smartest cookie in the shed. So it's kind of like, so what can you really do?

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

When did she start using fentanyl?

[Caller]

We're not really 100 sure because she kind of went like AWOL for a

[Caller Olivia]

bit

[Caller]

because she has a. Well, she has a boy and a girl. And so she went on off living with a friend for a while. We didn't find out until later on that she got into some stupid. And so the, the father of the kids ended up taking the kids away from her. And so I guess I want to say this was probably 2019. 2019, around that time. And so she was staying with a friend, but then the friend kicked her out. And then we found out she was homeless because then we found her. Someone found her just like hanging around in a random street, tweaking out and like stopping traffic in the middle of like nowhere. And so we all try to help. Like, my cousins have tried to help her, but then, like, they've gone above and beyond to help her, but then she causes all this bunch of shit. And as, like, someone who I would, I would consider myself a pretty, like, understanding and caring person. I used to always feel very, like, bad about the homeless. Me thinking like, oh, these are bad circumstances, years of abuse. If they got the help, they would, like, fix their shit at the end of the day. But she was a clear example of, like, hey, you can give this person all the resources and all the shit in the world and they will still not want it and rather live the life they live. So now I go around, I go around, like, because I live in an area where it's kind of like, you see kind of homeless very often. And it makes me think I'm like, should I feel bad for these people now? Because some of these people must be here by choice. So obviously, obviously there's some that, like, would not want to be there. But then there's also, you got to think there's other people that want to be there. So, yeah, it's kind of story. Yeah.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Well, you know, you know, what's funny about this is, well, not funny, but I, this is a subject I think about a lot, like, very philosophically in terms of agency. Like, I'm. Agency is something I think about a lot. Right. Because, like, for whatever reason, your sister, like, I don't know what it is, like, outside of herself that makes her make the decisions she makes. Right. But, you know, I, Part of, part of me has this weird thought that, like, there's some form of determinism that governs everything. But I, I, I don't think that life can really be productive in that way. So I choose to believe in agency of some kind. But it's interesting, particularly in this situation, because this is your sister, so it's not.

[Caller]

Oh, my cousin.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Oh, your cousin. Okay.

[Caller Olivia]

And.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Okay, okay, yes. I'm sorry. Your cousin. Okay. So your other, do you have other cousins? Like, does she have siblings?

[Caller]

Yeah, she got two brothers and they've tried to help her.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Like, how are, how are the brothers doing?

[Caller]

I mean, the brothers at this point have just kind of gone on with life. They kind of are at the point where, like, we can't change her. So we have, we still have to live our own lives. One of them has their own family, has their own kids.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Yeah.

[Caller]

The other one, you know, has his job, you know, he has his girlfriend and stuff. So they have to live their lives at the end of the Day. But last time I talked to him, there's still that like underlying depression, knowing the fact that their sister is like that. But yeah, they got to move on with life and stuff. The one that struggles to move on is obviously the mom, like the, my cousin's mom, because that's her daughter. Like she can't move on from it. Or she tries to act like she does, but we all know she hasn't moved on from that.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

All right. Do you have a, like, did you have a close relationship with your cousin growing up?

[Caller]

Yeah, we were pretty close growing up. There's only like a, like a three year age gap.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Okay.

[Caller]

So we're pretty close. Like out of all my cousins, like, she's the one that kind of made me feel like very wanted and very, like, how do I say, like, involved in the family.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Yeah.

[Caller]

So it kind of hurt me in the beginning, obviously. But then it's one of those things where like, I can't step in too much because one, that's not my, not my problem at the end of day. It sounds mean, but it's true. But the other thing is, if it's clear that she doesn't want the help, what the fuck can I do?

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Yeah.

[Caller]

If her brothers and her and her family have already gone above and beyond to help her and she don't want to change, what the fuck am I supposed to do?

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Yeah, right, right. Do you, like, what do you think went wrong with her? Because, because obviously, because obviously she, she wasn't born like that. Like, especially if like. And even it's back to like the whole determinism thing. Like it. I always find it interesting when like siblings have vastly different lives because we all know that, you know, it's a lot of like childhood trauma and shit like that that, you know, drives a person to that life. But it's interesting that her brothers are doing fine, but she's not. Like, what do you think happens?

[Caller]

I think there's a separation between her and the brothers because so the brothers have the same dad, she has a different dad, and I didn't ever met the guy, but suppose he was the biggest piece of shit in the world. So there must have been stuff that happened that I was way either happy before I was born or I was way too young to understand what was going on. And I think there is something that happened back in the day that kind of affected her till now. And I'm feeling she was always really dumb. Like I sounds mean to say, but she really was. She was cool as, but she was always Dumb. Like she was smoking and drinking from the age of like 10 she started. And like every time there was like a family party, like everybody would scold her because she was just going above and beyond, dude, stupid. And you like those people that like that, like they like romanticize like the gangster mentality and stupid like that, like they think they're hard and stuff, but reality, they just look stupid to the majority of people out there. Like she was kind of one of those people too.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

She, she romanticized being a gangster pretty much.

[Caller]

And so she thought the whole like, I, I can't speak for her, but I think she felt like she was never connected with her family. So she found some like solace in like her stupid gangster friends.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Yeah. Oh yeah.

[Caller]

But then they, but they all ended up like fuck ups, including her. So it's kind of like, and it's not like she didn't have anybody to like care for or stop her. Like she had her mom. I know a bunch of my other uncles tried to like step in and she lives with my couple of my uncles too to help her out when she was, you know, up and stuff. But she never stopped. And so going back to the homeless people, like, it's like I see her as a homeless person now and I'm like, it gives you some sadness but at the same time I'm like like you kind of put it on yourself at this point because you had every opportunity to get out of it and you're choosing to go back to it. And it makes me think of like all these other homeless people that I see. I'm like, how many of you have the opportunity but choose not to? I don't know if that makes me sound like an or anything, but that's just my honest truth right now.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Well, I mean it. You have a first hand experience. What do you, what, what's your life like?

[Caller]

My life is pretty chill. I, I have my wife and I got a five year old. She's pretty cool. So I just kind of focus on her. I focus on my work and I just try to, if I see her and I can help out some way. I can't. I will like, okay, I'll give her like a five bucks sometimes if I have like spare cash. But I focus on my life just how her brothers are. I gotta focus on me.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

And so when you, so like she's on the streets meaning like, like you do your, you're walking around and like she's there, she's still.

[Caller]

Yeah, dude, I'll be, I'll, I'LL I'll. I'll go drive around the. The city and I'll see her just randomly, either with her, with her one arm just, you know, tweaking out sometimes, or I would just. I'll see her, like, just chilling in a random ass corner. And one time I found her and she was being super aggressive. I don't know if she was high or she was coming off the high, but you could see her just, like, trying to swing at people and yelling and all this. In that situation, I didn't even try to stop and, like, help her because I'm like, that bitch gonna try to swing at me, and I'm gonna get pissed off.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Well, it's tough, man. It's tough when someone is, like, kind of beyond hell, especially if someone you care about.

[Caller]

Yeah. And, like. Well, I feel most. It's like her two kids, like, she has, I guess, and a daughter and a son, and they're with the dad, and the dad has, like, moved away. So, like, to kind of get him away from her. But. Yeah, I don't really see them anymore, really that often. I don't know what they're up to. But I know she. That those kids used to be her life, and now the fan has kind of taken over. Then I'm assuming there's some guilt in her too. But I mean, like, she had reasons to stop. And I. I'm not saying it's easy to stop. Like, I understand, like, it takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of, like, rehab. People don't quit just the first go around. I know, like, most people will relapse, and that's part of recovery, but she didn't even try, though. She didn't even try to go make. Take that first step to, like, go to rehab or get clean. She kind of, like, forced her way out of the hospital and to go back without even a proper try. And I know that's the frustration with her brothers is that she didn't even fucking try. Well, it doesn't seem like she even fucking tried.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Are you cool with the, like, your nieces and nephews? Do you. Or. I guess. No, not nieces and nephews. What, your. Your cousin's kids, like, do you see them at all?

[Caller]

I was like, I said, the dad moved away, so I think the dad moved away to kind of get them away, because I know there was two instances where they saw her in the streets. And so I think he made the decision to kind of move away. He lived, like, I want to say, like, 40 minutes away. Most Likely, but I haven't seen him in like over a year. They were cool though, because like I said, I was close with their mom, so like, I'd see them and I try to like hang out with them and talk to them and they were good kids, but yeah, I haven't seen them in over a year.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

So you're. When you say like the family has been trying to help them out or, or trying to help out your cousin, like, who, who all is in the family? Is anyone still trying

[Caller]

right now? I think the only people that are trying is her mom and like an uncle and like two of my aunts. But like, when everything went down, because I'm telling, she kind of went AWOL for a bit. Nobody really knew what the she was she was doing on her like, own time. But when she ended up in the hospital, the whole family was there. I'm talking like all of our uncles, her brothers. Her dad even showed up for a bit, even though a bunch of people hate him, but he showed up previously. Previous co workers of hers would show up because I guess they were so cool with her. So she had like a community at one point to like help her. I know some. Someone was trying to give her a job too. At one point she's like, hey, clean your up and we'll give you a job. I don't know what type of job, but. So she had like the avenues to get help. I know a couple of my uncles even offered to like give her a room in their, their house. So she had like the avenue to get off the streets if she really wanted, but she never, she never took it.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

So now, so now when you, when you see folks on the street, that is, that's all, that's all being filtered through your own experience where it's like, damn, dude, everyone tried to help my cousin and she still just won't, you know, it's kind of choosing to be there.

[Caller]

Yeah. And it makes me think how many people are in that same boat. Because prior to all of this, I think I had the same mindset a lot of people do is of like, all these people were given a bad hand. They were born into a shitty situation and they're these streets not by choice, but because they had to. Yeah, but then it makes you think some people have the choice and they're making that choice too. Live there and I can. I live like in the Washington area. And so like, it rains, dude. And like these out here in the rain all the damn time. Not right now because it's July, but In the winter time it's raining and these people, I don't know how the they do it.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Well, it sounds like you got a good life.

[Caller]

Yeah, mine's not that bad. I can't really complain too much, man. Like things can always be better but you shouldn't look at life that way. Gotta look at the positive. So. Yeah, gotta do the good with the bad, you know.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Yeah, yeah. Again, a tough situation. I mean I, I, yeah, I understand how that, I understand how that taints your view of folks with bad lives and like, oh, are they choosing to do that? And like I said, I'd like to believe that we have agency as people, but it is one of, it's one of my strongest internal debates about other people and about myself because we all have friends or relatives or whatever that were like, oh, they've been the same people forever. Right? Like, that's the, that's the question is like, do people have the agency to change? And like, where does that agency lie? Does it just like lie within the self to make yourself better? I mean you have to, you have to believe that I think in order,

[Caller]

I still believe that we have a choice in how our life goes. We can deal with shit and yeah, there's some shit that we can't. Like we have no choice to happen to us, but we have a choice in how we move on from it.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Yes.

[Caller]

And like, so like, because she was, when she had her kids, she was doing all right. Like she had a job, she was taking care of the kids, she was very loving. And then for whatever reason she just decided to do that and it took over. So like, I don't know, what's your name? Yeah. Steven.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Steven. Well, thanks for chatting with me, man. Thanks for sharing your story.

[Caller]

Thanks for answering man. I appreciate it.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Sure, dog. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

[Caller]

Stay humble. That'll be my, that'll be my advice.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Beautiful. Thanks man.

[Caller]

Have a good day.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

YouTube.

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[Caller]

Hello.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

What's your name, my friend?

[Caller]

Gerald. For the purposes of this call.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Gerald. What's happening Gerald? What made you want to call my little gecko show today?

[Caller]

Well, I mean, you know, I came to. Well, I mean obviously, you know I love listening to your podcast and I've always kind of wanted to speak to you on the phone outside of seeing you at your recent Minneapolis show. And I guess what I was. What is most pressing at the moment is I'm about to move in with my girlfriend that I've been seeing for a year and it's got me a little, a little nervous because of how the last relationship went.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Interesting. Okay, let's get into it. Tell me, how did the last relationship go?

[Caller]

So I had met somebody online

and

moved in with them pretty quick. They had a fallout with their friend. Then I moved a few hundred miles away to like where her family lives and lived with her for a bit. And then right around when we signed a lease on a new like a house nearby that she wanted to move into really bad. She started catching feelings for one of the friends in our friend group and kept that hidden for a year and a half. Wow. And that. Yeah. And she didn't really, she didn't say any. Like I said, she didn't say anything for a year and a half and Then when know, she finally told her family and her family was like, hey, you kind of gotta like, say something about that. And she finally divulged that. And I don't, I, I know that doesn't. Is not like a direct indicator as to how this next one will go, but, you know, the whole, like, intertwining me and my current girlfriend's life thing has just got me like, well, what if, what if that happens again?

You know?

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Okay, so you intertwined your life pretty significantly with this previous person, and then it blew up when, when she found feelings for somebody else.

[Caller]

And then I even got engaged to them.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Oh, you were engaged. You were engaged to them as well?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Okay. Are you engaged to your current girlfriend?

[Caller]

No, no.

But she, she has, she has said,

like, I've been with her for about, I assume that's what you're about to ask about, like the year and a few months at this point. She has said, you know, she hasn't really said in like, like, absolutely, if we don't get engaged in three years, I'm cutting off. But it's like, she kind of hinted to, like, if we don't get engaged in like three years, like, what are we doing?

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Okay. You know, and so you're like, basically you have trust issues at this point.

[Caller]

Yeah, I suppose you could say that.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Do you feel like, well, obviously every relationship is going to be different in a myriad of ways. I always fuck that word up. Marad. Myriad.

[Caller]

I don't know.

Actually, you got it right the first time.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

I got it right the first time. Myriad.

[Caller]

Well, I'm no English professor thing person, but it sounds right to me if it's.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Listen, you're the person I'm talking to, so if it sounds right to you, then that's perfect.

[Caller]

All right.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Okay. So obviously there's a myriad of different things between the previous relationship and this relationship. And so I guess the question for you comes down to how confident are you that this lady loves you and is committed to you?

[Caller]

You know, I'm pretty confident, you know, with the way of how she expresses herself. She doesn't seem to be wanting to do me wrong. She seems pretty happy with me and accepts me for who I am. All my faults, all that. She even seems to adore me. So, I mean, like, I feel. But I feel, I feel better than, like, if, you know, obviously I wouldn't be moving in my accurateness, but, like, I feel better now than I did before, if that makes any sense.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

That makes a lot of sense. So you feel a lot Better about this one than you did about the previous one, even before you found out that she was into another guy in your group.

[Caller]

Yeah, because there was like a lot of. In the last relationship, there was a lot of. What's the word? And there was like some. There were some animosities between me and my ex, and I can't. I. I can't think of on the spot exactly what they were. I think it was. I think it was more or less like she wasn't very accepting for who I was and what I wanted to do. Which, like, part of it was like, I wanted to quit smoking weed to better my life. And my ex was just like, well, I don't think I could be with you. Stop smoking weed.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

And I kind of like. Your ex said, I don't think I could. Your ex said, I don't think I could deal with you if you stopped smoking weed.

[Caller]

She couldn't be with me. She couldn't, like, be dating me, you know, like, you know, I could. She. Yeah. If I didn't. If I didn't smoke weed. Yeah. You know, I got that same reaction from a lot of people.

I, you know, I don't know.

I. Maybe because she feels like it just be awkward for her to smoke weed and that I didn't smoke weed, which I would. I wouldn't have cared. Like, you do your thing. You know, I just want to pass a drug test, make a lot.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

So listen, it sounds like. It sounds like by a lot of metrics, including the. The, the most important metric was just your. Which is just your own gut. It sounds like there is a significantly better feeling about this relationship than the past relationship. And so that begs the question, why are you still afraid that this lady is going to leave you?

[Caller]

Maybe not. Well, I guess. Yeah, I guess leave me as part of like, you know, cheat. I don't know if you want to call it what was like emotionally cheating. You know, it's just like the whole anxiety deep down, what if it happens again thing. You know that like when you go through a situation like that kind of plagues a lot of people.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Yes.

[Caller]

Like, what if it happens again? You know, even though you know a lot of. Most block, like you even you say

a lot of the time you can't

reason with your brain like that, you know, when. When your brain's worried about something like that, you know, so. And I've tried. I've tried throwing the whole, like, well, this one really cares about you. And it has also been cheated on in her last relations to a Significant amount. Why would she do that to you? Kind of thing. But then my brain's still like, well, but what if,

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

you know, well, I'm going to do the thing that I said I wouldn't. That I said you cannot do. And I'm going to logic with your central nervous system in many ways. The. The thing is that. Well, a lot of things, man, is like one. I mean, just from you telling me about these two different ladies, it sounds like the current lady is, let's say, a better fit for you than the previous lady.

[Caller]

Absolutely.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

And then like, dude, at the end of the day, like, just fucking. You don't want your stuff from the past to fuck up what you got going on now, right?

[Caller]

Which is like, I'm trying to divorce a lot of my paths from what, you know, I got going on now as, like, we both.

There's two.

There's understanding both ways of, like, we've had a past and, you know, that can cause some concern. So it's not like it's. It's not.

It doesn't have a.

It doesn't pose a lot of risk for things up now. But, you know, I understand, you know, like, the past is the past, and I shouldn't ruminate, as you say, on it.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

And then also, like, dude, just be. Just be in the present of this relationship. And you. You have to surrender to the fact that you don't know what's gonna happen. I mean, you could.

[Advertisement Voice]

You.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

You can like, do, like, if you had a bad gut feeling about this person, but you went into it anyway, then, you know, that's one thing. But if you have a good gut feeling about this person and you're going into it, then you're just doing what you could with the information that you had at the time, which is like, something I believe you can live with. And then at that point, you can't, like, be sitting around wondering if your girlfriend's gonna cheat on you. You just have to be in the. In the present of your current relationship.

[Caller]

Well, not only that, but I've been now fortified by the experience of it happening. And so if it, you know, were to happen again, it's like, well, that, you know, I've been here before. I know how to handle it now. You know, it's not so much of a. It's not so much of a stab, a shock as FEZ from that 70s show where to say, you know, once. Once she gets done so many times, it don't sting no more, you know.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Yeah, there we go. But why is It. But I don't even think your brain should be in this place. I think it's best to just. Just be with the person you're with.

[Caller]

Yeah.

And that's what I'm trying to, like, as best. That's what I'm trying to do as best as I can. It's just, you know, be and, you know, what happens, happens. And at the end of the day, you know, I'm going to hopefully grow old and own a home. And, you know, at one day, nothing I do will matter. So I'll just be there. I'll just be, you know, I'll just do this, as you say. I'll just exist in this little blink of existence that we've been granted.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Yes.

[Caller]

On what is a massive time period in time and space.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

There we go. And that's what you got to do. You got to replace all of your. You got to replace all of your anxiety with nihilistic depression.

[Caller]

That's how you put it.

Yeah.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

That's how you solve every problem in your life. What's your name again, my friend? Gerald.

[Caller]

For the purposes of this call, my name is Gerald.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Okay, Gerald. What was that last thing you wanted to say?

[Caller]

The what? What was I saying? The last thing.

What did I say?

I can't remember. What, What. No, I think I said. I was just like, wait. If that's what you want to say, you know, if that's how you. That's how you want to put it. Yeah, definitely. Sure.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Is there anything else you want to say to the people, the computer, before we go?

[Caller]

Nothing.

One day, nothing you do will matter. Live to your fullest. You. You matter more than you think. Your feelings are important. I love all of you. Have a good night.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Thank you, Gerald. Good luck, ma'. Am.

[Caller]

Thank you.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

Therapy get goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night. Therapy get goes doing it right, teaching you how to live your life. But he's not really an expert. Honestly.

[Caller]

Honestly.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

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[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

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[Caller]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Therapy Gecko (Host)]

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