Loading summary
Transcript237 lines
- [00:00]
Matt Rogers
This is Matt Rogers from Lost Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bone Yang. You don't want to miss your Cordially invited the hilarious new movie starring comedy icons Will Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon. Chaos ensues when two weddings are accidentally booked on the same day at the same venue. Will Ferrell plays the father of the bride and Reese Witherspoon is the sister of the other bride. Uh oh. As they go head to head to deliver a special day for the ones they love, don't miss this laugh out loud Showdown. It's Ferrell vs. Witherspoon and you're cordially invited. Watch it on January 30th only on Prime Video.
- [00:32]
NPR Life Kit
Here at Life Kit, NPR's self help podcast, we love the idea of helping you make meaningful lifestyle changes. Our policy is to never be too punishing on yourself or too grand in your goals, which is why we've got shows on how to make little nudges to your behavior and create habits that stick. Listen to the Life Kit podcast on iHeartRadio.
- [00:56]
Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart is back at the Daily show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with the Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondence and contributors, and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
- [01:33]
Gecko
Hello?
- [01:35]
Karen
Hello? Can you hear me?
- [01:37]
Gecko
I can. What's your name?
- [01:38]
Karen
My name is Karen.
- [01:40]
Gecko
Karen. What's up, Karen? How can I geck you today? What brings you to speak with with a gecko on the phone?
- [01:52]
Karen
Well, I don't know, man, but every day I think about the possibility of having telekinesis powers like it's an everyday thing. And I feel like I've had this same thought process for the last like six years now.
- [02:14]
Gecko
When you imagine, when you imagine yourself having telekines, telekinetic powers, what would you do with those powers and what would those powers look like?
- [02:25]
Karen
Have you ever seen, Let me see. I feel like it's a combination between like the Phoenix from X Men and then also from, I don't know that show, it's on Prime, I don't know, it's Adam girl, but she's more into like she does the atoms or whatever and she like mixes things stuff. But every time I'M out with friends, or I'm at work, school, whatever. I just feel like I can move something. Like, it'll just start off like that and there are times where I space out. I'm like, I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. Like, it's gonna move. And I've been, like, thrown off where people are like, hey, are you okay? And I'm like, no, I'm good, dude, I'm good. And it's gone to the point where people are like, hey, you've been facing out way too much. And I'm just like, no, sorry. I'm just in a thought process. But I feel like I can move something. Like, I know I can move it to the point where I could control it and then it could, like, go. I could, like, have it in front of me. And to the point also where I think one day I could do it with like, the earth. Like, not the earth itself, but, you know, like the ground.
- [03:45]
Gecko
And you felt this way for about how long?
- [03:49]
Karen
I think about, like six years now. I just. Yeah, about six years. Like, I just had a crazy dream one day that, that I was able to do this. Like, I was able to lift the floor. And at first I thought, nah, it's just. It's just a dream. But those dreams kept, like, recurring. And then I thought, well, maybe. Maybe it will happen. And now it's just every day. It's an everyday thought process that I have.
- [04:23]
Gecko
Is it. Is it distracting you from daily life? The. This, like, strong feeling that you might have powers?
- [04:33]
Karen
No. Like, I can. I can have a normal day. Like, I can get up. Like, I work overnight. So I'll sleep in the day, I'll get up, shower, I'll go. But I'll do my normal activities. But I feel like no matter what, like, if I. If I go to the shower, like, hey, maybe I can move that toothbrush. If I'm in the car, I'm like, hey, maybe like, I can move that tree. If I'm like at a red light or something, or if I'm at work, I'm like, let me. Let me see if I can move the. So, yeah.
- [05:06]
Gecko
So this is like. This is like a constant every day. This is like a not. Not just like an everyday. This is like an everyday throughout the day feeling that you have. Yes, but doesn't it get. And how long. Okay, and so it's been six years. But for how long has it been like this constant, like, every day, throughout the day?
- [05:26]
Karen
Maybe like, maybe like five times. Five Times. It's not like every hour every day, Maybe once in the morning, once in the afternoon.
- [05:36]
Gecko
Okay, how long. How long has it. Have. Have the thoughts occurred with that much frequency?
- [05:45]
Karen
Like, how long does it last with that thought?
- [05:47]
Gecko
No, like, how. How long have you been thinking five times a day that you might be able to move stuff?
- [05:56]
Karen
I don't know.
- [05:59]
Gecko
Like, does it.
- [06:00]
Karen
I'm a little confused. I'm a.
- [06:01]
Gecko
It's. Okay. So. Well, I guess what I'm curious about is, like, does it ever get. Like, does it ever get exhausting to be thinking this much that you might be able to move stuff, and then it never. It never moves?
- [06:14]
Karen
Yes, it's frustrating. It's. It's gone to the point where I'm almost about to tell my therapist about it, but I'm like, you know what? I'm just gonna keep it to myself because she'll probably. She'll probably give me the funny socks.
- [06:31]
Gecko
All right, all right, all right. Hold on. Yeah, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Okay. Okay. I have several questions for you. And by the way, you can. You can entertain this conversation as deeply or as lightly as you desire. But. Okay, question number one. What the hell are the funny socks?
- [06:58]
Karen
You know, the funny socks. Like, you know, you're not supposed to say certain things at therapy, and then they'll just do the big check mark of, like. All right, got to give them the grippy socks. The grippy socks to go into the. Yeah, okay.
- [07:13]
Gecko
All right. Yeah. Sure you don't want to get the funny socks? Are those. Hold on. What? I know what. Okay, I. Now I'm just being a dick, but I know what you're trying to say when you say funny socks, but the. The article of clothing that you're referring to doesn't look like socks. Like, hold on. Like a straight jacket. It doesn't look like socks. Oh, wait, it kind of does. It kind of looks like funny socks. Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry. I just googled it. It does. It does. It does kind of look like funny socks. So why. So why do you. Okay, so why are. Are you. Are you just being funny, or do you actually think that, like, if you tell your therapist, she'll, like, put you in a mental institution, you know?
- [07:56]
Karen
Like, I feel. I feel like I'm in a good point in my life mentally. And she. And she'll tell me, like, oh, you're in a. You know, you've made so much progress. And I'm like, cool, but. And then imagine me telling her out of nowhere, hey, just want to let you know, I think I feel like I can move stuff. Like, yeah, like. And she'll look at me like, what the hell? Like, we just went through all this progress and now you're telling me you think you can move a cup, a pencil? Like, I feel like I. One day it's gonna happen. Like, one day it will happen. Like, some. And I've gone to the point where I've meditated. I've, you know, I've done the whole chakra thing. I've done the whole, like, I feel like I felt I've been in the state of nirvana before. Like, and I'm like, you know what? If I could feel this type of being inside myself, maybe one day I could move something with my mind. Like, you know how people say, oh, humans only use 10% of their brain? And I'm like, you know what? Well, I'm going to use 20%, and I'm going to move that pencil and I'm going to move it and I'm going to give myself years. And. I don't know, I mean, I'm. I'm 20. No. Oops. I'm not 29 no more. I'm 30 right now. I just turned 30 and I'm thinking maybe by the time I'm 60, it'll happen. It'll happen.
- [09:16]
Gecko
Okay, so. So, all right, I'm not a real therapist, but I'll ask you some kind of.
- [09:23]
Karen
No, I know.
- [09:24]
Gecko
I'll ask you some questions. Here's. I guess here's where I land with it is because, like, this. This is something you think about throughout the day, every day. And I, And I asked. I asked you already a little bit. But I'll ask you again. Like, does. Does the idea that you might be telekinetic and, and your. Could we call it an obsession, do you think.
- [09:51]
Karen
You know what? Yes, I. I have felt like it is an obsession.
- [09:56]
Gecko
Now. Just. Just go. You go ahead. Sorry.
- [10:01]
Karen
Oh, no, no. Like, at one point I thought, you know what? You're just obsessing. Like, maybe I'm. I'm watching too much stuff. Maybe I'm. I'm reading into it. Maybe I'm just. I don't know, I'm just overthinking it. But I don't know, there's this part of me that feels like humans can do that. Like, humans are. Are going to be able to do that. And I'm thinking, you know, like, I get it, it sounds crazy. It sounds wacko. Like, like, come on. You know, you would think after all these Millions of years or thousands of years humans been alive, like, that's. That shit don't exist. But I don't know, it's just I have this gut feeling, like this intuition of.
- [10:39]
Gecko
Yeah, but so my. I guess my main question is, does this obsession or gut feeling, does this. Does this, like, negatively impact your life in any way, shape or form? Like, if you're being. If you're being honest with yourself, like, does it. Does it, like, distract you from reality in a. In a negative way or cause you to, like, not do that? You feel like you should be doing, like, any. Anything like that?
- [11:05]
Karen
Oh, heck no. Like, no way. That's. That's where I get, like, kind of iffy. Like, I'm. I swear I'm living a normal life. I'm living just as anyone else, trying to survive here. And I'm doing everything I can, like to. I feel like I'm great where I'm at right now. It's just. I only told two people, like my best friend and my sister, and they looked at me like, all right, you're just being dumb. But I'm like, all right, you know, okay, cool. But it doesn't distract me. It doesn't affect my everyday life. It's just there. It's just that thought is there. And. And I'm thinking, like, maybe it's like a deep rooted thing in me, like, that something's wrong. But I don't know, at the same time, I'm thinking maybe. Maybe it's just a phase. Maybe it's a phase I'm going through, but I just. I don't know. I don't know, man.
- [11:57]
Gecko
Well, I guess I was asking because, I mean, look, I'm not gonna, like. Look, here's the thing. I don't like to poop on other people's parties. I mean, I actually know I do something. I'm not gonna say that. I sometimes actually take great joy pooping on other people's parties. It can be. Pooping on other people's parties can be a lot of fun sometimes. But you're at. You seem like a. A nice person, and so I don't. I don't want to sit here and poop on your party.
- [12:26]
Karen
Now go ahead. No, you. But you can go ahead and tell me I'm nuts, I'm crazy, or, hey, maybe you know what I'm.
- [12:32]
Gecko
No, no, I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. Hold on. I don't. I don't want to tell you that you're A nutsuka. I don't think it's my right to tell you that you're crazy, but that's why I phrase it in a way of. If this is. If you believe this is negatively impacting your life, then, you know, it's something to be examined. But I'm not gonna just tell you that you're crazy.
- [12:59]
Karen
Okay. Okay.
- [13:02]
Gecko
But I think that's a good. But I. I just. I think, like, moving. And again, I'm. I'm, like, fucking sitting here pretending to be a therapist. But, like, if I. If I. That's the kind of overarching question I would continue to ask myself if I were you is like, you know what? You know, whether or not you're crazy, I don't think is the important issue. I think the issue is, like, is this. Is this obsession detrimental to you in some way?
- [13:30]
Karen
No. Yeah. I guess the main point, like, it could be an obsession, and maybe, like, I do feel like maybe it could pass, you know, that has been my thought. But I guess the initial thing is, if I. If. If it does happen, like, what would I do? Like, what would I do with these powers? That's the one thing that makes. Like, all right, now you. Now you're talking crazy.
- [13:55]
Gecko
I'll play. I'll play ball. On telekinesis. What would you do if you had these powers.
- [14:04]
Karen
Man? Where. The way the world is. If I learned how to control it. If there was some way. This sounds crazy. Like, this sounds wild, but if I have telekinesis and if I could build some type of force field around it to protect myself, I would just go crazy, like, oh, God, I'll just start fixing. No, I mean. No, I don't mean, like, hurting people. I mean, like, I would like to save people. I just start. I'd be like that, you know, in the movies. Like, I would just start saying not. Not saving people. I mean, like, doing real. That needs to be done, you know? And. And then, of course, the government will start being like, what the is it? It's like, who are you? Like, no, you can't do this. And I'll be like, I'm gonna start saving people. I'm gonna start fixing this place up, because y'all ain't doing. So I'm gonna do it.
- [14:56]
Gecko
I. I have. All right, I'm gonna. This is pro. This is probably not good, but I'm gonna do it. There's a move. There's a movie that you need to watch. There's a movie you should watch.
- [15:09]
Karen
Is it with the three Guys.
- [15:10]
Gecko
It's with the three guys. You know the movie.
- [15:14]
Karen
Honestly, that's how I feel, like what's going to end up happening.
- [15:18]
Gecko
Okay, so you know this movie?
- [15:19]
Karen
I know what movie?
- [15:20]
Gecko
With the three guys.
- [15:21]
Karen
Yes, I know.
- [15:22]
Gecko
And you've seen.
- [15:22]
Karen
That's what I'm scared of.
- [15:24]
Gecko
Yeah.
- [15:24]
Karen
Okay. So many times.
- [15:26]
Gecko
You've seen it so many times. Really? I was about to say this movie. This movie with the three guys. It's exact. It's like exactly what you're talking about. We're talking about the movie Chronicle, which is about, like. Yeah, these three. It's like these three guys and they get the. All three. I don't know. The. I don't remember is. Came out like 10. Over 10 years ago. But they all get psychic powers. And I think what happens is one of them just like, goes rogue and starts, like, it's like severely corrupted by the power and uses it to, like, like, you know, cause mayhem and destruction and. And murder. And he. There's like a line in the movie or something, something like that where he goes, like. He declares himself to be an apex predator. Like a predator who view like he is so far evolved above humanity that he considers other humans around him to be ants and has zero empathy in their destruction, much as a human would killing a bug.
- [16:32]
Karen
Exactly. And I. And I've seen that. And the crazy in his eye, I'm like, I don't want to be like that.
- [16:37]
Gecko
Right.
- [16:38]
Karen
But the way that he starts going, do you believe? That's what I'm afraid of.
- [16:43]
Gecko
Do you believe. And I. I've only been talking to you for 15 minutes here, but do you believe that. That you are pure of heart enough that you would resist the. The. The. The temptation to be corrupted by your new telekinetic powers? Do you believe you could handle. Because some people. Because power just corrupts inherently. Do you believe you could, you know, withstand that corruption and stay true to yourself through your new abilities?
- [17:14]
Karen
I feel like. I feel like I can. I. I, like, with my whole, like, heart and everything, I feel like I can. But there would still be a fight because of the anger that the world would put on me. And I don't see humans as like ants. I don't. And I would have empathy. I don't want to be like that, but I feel like with the evil of how other humans are, would make me want to go rogue and go crazy. But I know at the end of the day I will be like, no, I can't. I can't. Just. Just because these guys are fucking up and these guys are pissing me off and attacking me. I can't, I can't just go ballistic. But I know it would be a fight. It would be a fight between myself. And I've thought about that. I thought. And that's also a thought of like at the end of the day, at the night when you're laying down, I'm like, damn, if you really do move something and you really do start like practicing and all this stuff, would you be able, would you be able to control yourself? And I'm like, yeah, hell yeah, I would. Like, hell yeah. But like I said, it's a fight though, because of the, the. I don't know if you understand, like, if you get me, like the anger that people would put on me because, you know, like other humans could be shitty. Like you know, dictators and the people in charge, you know, not regular humans.
- [18:29]
Gecko
Yeah, well, like here's the thing. Like here, here like. Cuz look, if you. I'm gonna get assassinated or something saying this, but like if you had psychedelic. If you had like telekinetic powers, like you could go like. And you had a force. I actually used to, I actually. This kind of fucked up. I used to like imagine like, what if like some guy like had these telekinetic powers and could like put a force field around them and like, was like unkillable. And like that person could like, one person could like just like wipe out the whole U.S. army because they just. They can't be killed.
- [19:06]
Karen
Yeah.
- [19:06]
Gecko
You know what I mean? Yeah. That's the kind of power you would be want. So like, if you like, you'd be sitting there with all that power, like, you know, it starts with you lifting up a pencil and then it ends with you like, you know, destroying the Russian army. You know what I mean? But like, but like, is that what you really want? Do you really want that much power? You know that? I don't. That's the thing. It's like, look, because here's the thing, you're not going to be satisfied just picking up pencils and putting them down. I'm just letting you know that if you. I now I'm. Now I'm kind of into this as I'm talking about it. Like this power that you seek, I don't think, you know, like even just the fact that you're talking about it, you're entertaining the idea of using it for world change, right? You, you're going to start by picking up pencils and putting them down and then you're like, all right, that's fun and cute, but, like, let me, you know, let me. Let me liberate North Korea. And that's a whole thing to be doing.
- [20:07]
Karen
You know what? That's. Exactly.
- [20:10]
Gecko
And even if. Even if you're right, because even if you have the power and you don't, you're like, I don't want to get involved. I don't want to get involved, people are going to be knocking down your door being like, yo, what the are you doing? You have telekinetic powers. Go liberate North Korea. Go save my cat from a tree. You know, go help me move. You know, people are gonna be trying to use you, and it's just. It's too much power. It's too. But you. I just. I'm let. You will be so much happier living just a regular ass life than being, you know, God. Right? I'm just that. Food for thought. Food for thought. Right? Do I think. I think being human is pretty sweet. Okay, yes, you die, but that's good. You don't want to not die. That's uncharted territory. Nobody's ever not died, and it would be lonely. It would be lonely. You don't want to be a God. You don't want. You don't really want. I just don't think that you will enjoy your life more if you had superpowers. If I were you, I just. I would really look around at the life you have as it is not having superpowers and just go, oh, you know, every once in a while, I eat a slice of pizza and my friend sends me a picture, and I like it on the phone, and that's pretty good. And I don't need to liberate North Korea.
- [21:35]
Karen
You know what? You're right. Because I do enjoy my simple life. I do enjoy. I, you know, like, I live in Texas, sadly, but. And I. I do enjoy going outside, sitting at the park, and, you know, taking my dog for a walk and just. Just chilling. Just, you know, like, things like that when I'm not having my little obsession, I do enjoy just enjoying the small things, like.
- [22:00]
Gecko
Yeah.
- [22:01]
Karen
And, And. And. And if I couldn't go back to that, to just even walk my dog or take a stroll down my neighborhood, I think I'd be pretty upset at that.
- [22:11]
Gecko
Right.
- [22:11]
Karen
You know, never to going back to that.
- [22:13]
Gecko
Right. Why do you. I mean, why do you. Yeah, I mean, why do you. What? You. Why do you want to separate yourself from your fellow human beings by having superpowers? What is. But I actually, I ask you that as a genuine question. Why do you want these telekinetic powers? Like, why. Why do you feel like you, You. There's. What you desire out of your life or just for the world cannot be accomplished as a mortal.
- [22:50]
Karen
Maybe because if I. I mean, it wouldn't. It would be, I mean, to. To, like I said, like, to have change. Like to do change, to make real change. You know, I'm not just gonna screw off and just, you know, fly or, hey, I'm gonna freaking, you know, make jokes with people. Like, you know, they. People, you know, when you see online or whatever of the fake people making jokes of having telekinesis powers, I think I would want to do something like. Yeah, you know, just be. Ah, that sounds so lame. Like a superhero. I wouldn't want to be a superhero.
- [23:30]
Gecko
No, it's lame. It's like, it's. It's like, it's like. It's like. It's like running for Congress or something, right? Like, you join and then, like, everyone has expectations of you and the things you're going to do, and everyone's always looking at you. And, you know, you. You. You try to withstand the power of corruption, but nobody ever can really do it. It's. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. I mean, I think I. I respect your desire to make change in this world, but I just. I think you can do it without superpowers.
- [24:06]
Karen
Oh, you're right. Damn, that hit deep.
- [24:12]
Gecko
But I mean, look, it's. Look, if, look, look. Picking up a pencil and throwing it at your friend, and then they look around and they're like, who did that? And you're like, I don't know. That's fun, that's good, that's okay. But it just. It leads to you becoming God, which would suck because people would ask you to do chores for them. That's what people are always asking God to do chores for them. People are always praying to God they're asking him to do chores. And I don't. It just. It sucks. It just would be bad. So, So I. I don't say. I don't say all this to poop on your party, but I say all this to offer an alternative perspective as to why maybe having superpowers would be hella lame.
- [24:57]
Karen
Now. You're right. I mean, also, I have, like, really bad 80 ADHD, so.
- [25:03]
Gecko
Oh, my God. ADHD and superpowers. Sounds like a horrible combination. Horrible combination. You'll be, you know, I mean, if Your brain can barely handle, you know, doing math.
- [25:19]
Karen
Imagine I get it for a month, and then I'm like, you know what? I don't even like this.
- [25:24]
Gecko
Holy shit. Adderall and superpowers. That's too much. That's too much.
- [25:31]
Karen
Oh, man. Hell no. I'm already on too many antidepressants. I can't. I can't do this. I can't. No, you know what? You make it.
- [25:38]
Gecko
Yeah.
- [25:38]
Karen
You make it sound like this could be exhausting.
- [25:41]
Gecko
Yes. Sounds like a terrible life. Like being Batman. Yeah, Like. Okay, just next time you look, next time you watch Batman. Well, Batman doesn't have superpowers. Let me. That's a bad one. Like, Superman is definitely not happy. Spider Man's not happy. None of these guys are happy. They have horrible lives.
- [25:59]
Karen
Spider Man's not happy.
- [26:00]
Gecko
Nice. Hates life. I don't know why I said that. It's probably not.
- [26:04]
Karen
I mean, he's not.
- [26:05]
Gecko
He's not real. None of these people are real. But you're real. And you can do things without superpowers. What's your name again?
- [26:15]
Karen
My name's Karen.
- [26:16]
Gecko
Karen, is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
- [26:25]
Karen
I promise, when you turn 30, it's not as bad as they say it is. Follow your dreams. And don't take two things. Don't take things serious. Like, just. Just chill out.
- [26:41]
Gecko
Is it Carol or Caroline?
- [26:44]
Owen
No.
- [26:44]
Karen
Well, my name is Karen, but, you know, in American words. Karen.
- [26:48]
Gecko
All right, it was neither.
- [26:50]
Karen
Yeah. Yeah. No, you're good. You know, I don't like to tell people my name's Karen, but it's. It's got in. But either way, Karen's fine. It's fine.
- [26:59]
Gecko
Have a good night, Karen.
- [27:01]
Karen
Thank you. You, too.
- [27:03]
Gecko
Bye. Bye. Oh, fuck. I hung up. Well, we got the gist. Yeah. Turning 30. I mean, look, here's the thing. If you ever are upset about the fact that you're getting older, just take solace in the fact that it's better than the alternative, which is being dead forever.
- [27:26]
Matt Rogers
This is Matt Rogers from Las Culturesis with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. And Save the date. Prepare for chaos. You don't want to miss your cordially invited the hilarious new movie starring comedy all stars Will Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon. It's written and directed by Nicholas Stoller, who's behind hits like Forgetting Sarah Marshall, get him to the Greek and Neighbors. Disaster awaits when two weddings are accidentally booked on the same day at the same destination venue with no alternatives. To turn to. Each party is challenged with preserving their family's special moment while making the most of the unanticipated tight quarters. Will Ferrell plays the father of the bride, and Reese Witherspoon is the sister of the other bride. As they stop at nothing to deliver the perfect wedding for the ones they love. From alligator attacks to black eyes to shipwrecks, there's no shortage of wedding hijinks. After all, there's always fun in family dysfunction. Don't miss this laugh out loud Showdown. It's Ferrell vs. Witherspoon, and you're cordially invited. Watch it on January 30th only on Prime Video.
- [28:24]
Joel
2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money, challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel.
- [28:31]
Gecko
Ooh.
- [28:31]
Matt
And I am Matt.
- [28:32]
Joel
And we're the hosts of how to Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially.
- [28:42]
Matt
Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt or you've got a sky high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early. Well, how to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth.
- [29:02]
Joel
That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to how to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [29:16]
NPR Life Kit
Here at Life Kit, NPR's Self Help podcast, we love the idea of helping you make meaningful lifestyle change. Our policy is to never be too punishing on yourself or too grand in your goals. Which is why we've got shows on how to make little nudges to your behavior and create habits that stick. Listen to the Life Kit podcast on iHeartRadio.
- [29:40]
Gecko
Hello.
- [29:41]
Owen
Hello.
- [29:42]
Gecko
Hey, what's your name?
- [29:43]
Owen
My name's Owen.
- [29:45]
Gecko
Owen. What's up, Owen? How can I geck you today?
- [29:49]
Owen
First of all, big fan, kind of excited. I'm talking to you.
- [29:54]
Gecko
Thanks, brother.
- [29:56]
Owen
Okay, what I wanted to talk about is just a little bit of a rant about my last relationship, if that's okay.
- [30:06]
Gecko
Well, let's have a conversation about your last relationship rather than a rant. What is it? What it. Well, okay, what is the emotion that is powering this rant?
- [30:24]
Owen
Well, whenever I talk about it, it Makes me a little bit anxious. Not gonna lie. It's just one of those things where you're like, dang, like, how could. Am I that bad that someone could do that to me? That's how I feel.
- [30:42]
Gecko
Okay. What. Do you want to talk about what happens?
- [30:46]
Owen
Yeah, I'd love to.
- [30:47]
Gecko
Okay. What. What did. What happens?
- [30:51]
Owen
It is a. A little bit of a longish story, if that's okay, or would you like me to dumb it down?
- [30:58]
Gecko
Why don't you dumb it down?
- [31:01]
Owen
Okay. So me and this girl. I won't say your name. We were both pretty. I still am, but we were both religious. I don't know if you are, but that's okay. We're both celibate, and we are both wanting to marry. I knew her for a while. We. We loved each other.
- [31:25]
Gecko
Cool.
- [31:26]
Owen
Everything was going good. At one point, she acted weird, and the next day she told me that she believe that God was telling her we weren't meant to be together and that we should break up. I was like, that's strange, but how can I say that that's. That goes against what God wants? So I just kind of, like, tried to talk her out of it, try to talk her and understand everything, but it didn't work out. So I just let her go. Months go by. She starts to go down to downhill, drinking, doing all kinds of, like. She got anxious a lot and just started getting her head about things, and she just acted like a completely different person. Well, as the months went on, I realized that she had cheated on me. So she had lost her virginity against me while we were dating. And I'm just like, how that's the most insane thing anyone's ever done to me, and one of the most insane things that I think you could do to someone.
- [32:27]
Gecko
Mm. Now you said something. And I don't know if how much you were paying attention to the actual, like, words that you were using when you said it or how much you really mean it, but you were like, how could I be so bad that someone could do this to me? Is that. Is that how you feel about this?
- [32:52]
Owen
Yeah. To be honest, I mean, at that point. At that point, I didn't really have a job. I was trying to get into a career. It wasn't working out, and I just felt like looking back on it, I might have looked like a bum, but at the same time, I did nothing but love her. I did nothing but cherish her. And like I said, we were both very religious and very in our ways, so I'm kind of torn and that's why I wanted to talk to you because I'm just like, I mean, I blame her and I, I, I don't want her back or anything like that. I'm done with her, but I'm just like, I don't just see how someone could do that. I can't see if it's me or if it's her. Like, I, I can't believe someone would be so up, excuse my language, that they would do that unless I was a problem.
- [33:54]
Gecko
No, no, you're not so horrible that you're, it's okay for, you know, for you to be cheated on, that you know that all being said is like, listen, man, you're. How old are you?
- [34:12]
Owen
I'm 22. I was 20 at the time.
- [34:16]
Gecko
Okay. Do you still think about this girl?
- [34:20]
Owen
No, not, not all the time. I only think about her when I have conversations like this.
- [34:28]
Gecko
Do you still feel like this is kind of lower to your overall self esteem in a lasting way?
- [34:38]
Owen
Yeah, I think it'll always be with me.
- [34:43]
Gecko
Why do you think it'll always be with you? Yeah.
- [34:47]
Owen
Well, before I met her, I was at a point, I was at a low point and I was praying and I was wanting a girl exactly like her. I mean, exactly. Like we even had the same political reviews. We had the same humor. And then it just came crashing down in the worst possible way. And since I've moved on, I have a girlfriend now for a year. It's pretty, oh, it's pretty good.
- [35:15]
Gecko
Okay, great, man.
- [35:19]
Owen
But, you know, it's just one of those things where I'm like, if that was the most perfect person for me at the time.
- [35:27]
Gecko
Yeah, but that's not what he. That, but that's not real. There's no, there's no perfect person. There's no. Yeah, there's no perfect person. There's like, you like someone, I mean, what you did was how you do it. I mean, you had someone that you liked and you put effort into your relationship with them. And I think when you do that, you kind of, you, I mean, you know, God damn. Ideally, hopefully that comes back in the other direction, but you kind of do it a little unconditionally, right?
- [36:08]
Owen
Yeah.
- [36:09]
Gecko
And I think there's something to be said about accepting the fact that you loved and cherished this person unconditionally and you did it because you just, it was just within you to do it. And the fact that they betrayed your trust, like that fucking sucks. But that's, it's not reflective of you at all. The Fact that you, you know, love the person and you put effort into a person and you put effort into yourself. I mean, those are all things that are reflective of you. And how she acts after that fact is not reflective of you at all. So I. I would just. I mean, you sound like you're doing pretty happy and good, but I would just kind of not. I don't. Like, oh, how could I be so bad that she would do that to me? You know?
- [37:06]
Owen
I understand, but I don't know. That's just. I don't know. You know, it's like, cheating on is one thing, but cheating on, like, that with someone, you're like, you know, promise to. If that makes sense. I just. I can't wrap my head around it. I'll mostly go ahead. All right, I said mostly. The way I figured out that she did this was she kept. She said. She mentioned at one point. Because we were still talking at the time. Not intimately, just like, hey, how you. How you doing? And everything, because I still cared about her. And, you know, like I said, she's going down a bad path. She told me while she was drunk one time she missed me, and I was like, why don't you come back? And she said she couldn't. And at the time, I was all like, what'd you do? And she told me she didn't do anything. And I'm like, no, be honest. What'd you do? And she told me she'd slept with someone. And at that point, I just. Giving up. And then, you know, I took a screenshot of the. Of the chat, and she was like, who you gonna show it to? And I'm like, I'm not gonna show it to anyone. I just want to think about this for a while. And then she said, you, and basically just flipped it on me. And I was like, dang. So I just. I don't know, man.
- [38:31]
Gecko
What. How are things within your new girl? I mean, dude. I mean, look, you're. You have a new girlfriend, right?
- [38:41]
Owen
Yeah.
- [38:42]
Gecko
Okay, so I let this be in the. I mean, I. I know you called in to talk about it because it's like, you know, a thing to talk about for the show or whatever. But let. Let this be in the past, all right?
- [38:53]
Owen
Yeah, I mean, it's hard. It's hard just cuz.
- [39:01]
Gecko
Cause you don't want this to, like. Because. Because, listen, man, I just. Let me say this. You have a new relation. You're with a new girl, okay? And the worst thing that you. I think you could do is to just like, hold on to this thing and, you know, you're like, wearing it like glasses. You know what I mean? Like, everything you do and see and everything, everything is. Is through the lens of this fucked up thing, and that's the worst thing you could do. So to take off the glasses and throw them away and just be in the present with your. Your new girlfriends and, you know, like. Like you did with your other girlfriend, be like, oh, I like this person and yes, I love him, cherish him, do whatever you want to do, but just don't. Don't let this past experience. Don't. Just don't wear it like fucking glasses, you know? And don't. And don't. Don't wear it like glasses when you. When you look at yourself. Just. Just let. Just let it be in the past. It's okay, you know, just. Just dive into the fucking. What you're doing right now. God damn it. I don't know. I really. I really never set out to be a. I. Fuck it. I hate it. I hate being motivational. I hate it. I just hate it so much. But I just. In my head, I hate going on motivational rants. But I also really want you to understand, to let. Just. Just let this be in the past.
- [40:31]
Owen
I mean, I agree with you. It's just the scar I'm always gonna hold.
- [40:34]
Gecko
Why? Don't. Why, why, why do you say how well, how well, you're 22. Stop saying. Don't. Stop saying stupid bullshit like that. Just stop. Just stop. Why? Why is it a why? Wait, really? Let me. Can I ask you. It's a scar. You're always gonna hold. Why?
- [40:57]
Owen
I just tend to think like that, I suppose.
- [41:00]
Gecko
Okay, well, what if you did. What if you didn't think like that and you went, you know what? That was up. And I. That made me feel bad. But I really like Tiffany, whatever her fucking name is that you're with right now. I really like Tiffany and I really. I'm feeling good about myself lately, and it's a nice day outside, and I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go to school for accounting and become a cpa and I'm gonna get really good at math. The people around the office, when they have a math problem, they're gonna ask me about it, and it's making. To make me feel good and all of a. And then I'm gonna be 32 and I'm gonna be married and I'm gonna have, you know, really. I'm head of the accounting firm and I'm. And No, I'm not gonna have this scar for me, with me for the rest of my life. What do you. Stop saying things like that, dude. You know, like, that's. It's up to you. It's up to you. It's up to you. What do you think is gonna be with you forever? This is no rules. You don't have to hold on to fucking anything, okay? So stop saying that. This is gonna be. If you. Yeah, sure. If you hold it. Sure. If you. If you want to go, you know, Tumblr about it and you want to be like, this is a scar I'm gonna hold on to forever, then, yeah, maybe it'll. Maybe it will be. But it's a choice, okay? You're looking at it like it's this thing imposed upon you over which you have no agency. Just stop doing that. Just. If you want. If this was a shitty thing and you want to let it go so you can be happy with your new life and your new relationship, then just let it go. Why are you writing a melancholy? Why you're being. Why. Why be emo about it and say, it's a scar you're gonna hold for? Just let it go. Wait, why? Just next time you say to yourself, next time you're looking in the mirror and you're saying to yourself, I'm gonna be sad forever, and I'm gonna always look at myself like, I suck, and I'm gonna always just, why? Just really keep asking yourself why until you come up with a good reason, and you fucking won't. So just let it go. You don't have to respond that. You don't have to respond to everything I just said to you just now, but just think about it, okay? I'm gonna put this in the podcast. Just think about it.
- [43:23]
Owen
Just making me realize how cringy I'm being.
- [43:29]
Gecko
Good. Good. It's okay to be cringy. We've all. That's good. Being cringy is a part of evolving as a human being. Who. Who is this new girl? Okay. Who's this new girlfriend?
- [43:54]
Owen
Her name's Marissa.
- [43:56]
Gecko
Marissa. Melissa. Marissa.
- [44:00]
Owen
Marissa. She'll probably hear this. If you do put it on the podcast.
- [44:04]
Gecko
I'm sure. Maria, look, I'm sure Marissa is a nice girl, and I'm sure Marissa. I'm sure Marissa is a nice girl. I'm sure Marissa really likes you, and I'm sure Marissa would love if you took, you know, if you had more brain power available to put into the relationship you have with her. And also, most important, Most importantly, put into you and your own life and how you view yourself and how you feel than in whatever, you know. God bless whoever this girl is that cheated on you. I hope she. She finds Jesus or whatever the fuck and lives a good life, you know. Good. God bless her. Okay, so just. That's how I think you should feel about her and then just move on with your life and. And you know, try to continue to. You seem like a guy. You seem like a virtuous guy. It's hard to do. Just keep doing that and. Yeah, just fucking let it go, man. God damn. Sorry I don't have any more motivational things to yell at you.
- [45:13]
Owen
My bad for draining you.
- [45:15]
Gecko
It's okay. Well, all right, man. Is there anything else you want to. You want to say about anything before we go?
- [45:26]
Owen
How you been? You all right?
- [45:28]
Gecko
I'm okay. I'm doing okay. I'm doing okay. I'm, you know, I'm not dead. It's pretty good.
- [45:42]
Owen
Can you look at the chatter? Have they been flying with me?
- [45:44]
Gecko
I don't. I don't care about the chat. I care about talk. I don't care about the chat. I care about talking to you, my friend. What's your name again? Sorry.
- [45:56]
Owen
Owen.
- [45:57]
Gecko
Owen. Have a good rest of your life, Owen. I hope any of this shit that I farted out of my mouth made any sense to you.
- [46:06]
Owen
No, I know what I can do to fix it, so.
- [46:09]
Gecko
All right, take care.
- [46:11]
Owen
I'll take your words.
- [46:14]
Gecko
See you, man. Owen, Owen. Owen, Owen, Owen. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know why I got fired up, but there's just. There's just no rules. This is. I think. Well, there's some rules. There's some rules, but I just. I don't want to be a. I don't want to be all woo woo. But I don't know. A lot of life is just like. Your ego has stories. It tells you about the world and about yourself and about other people and it's all. It's fake and you know, there's lights and colors and decisions and then you die. But there's no you can do. I, I really do believe in like, like self limiting beliefs in the head because I have many of them personally that I. You kind of. You have. You ask. I ask myself. I'm like, does this belief limit me in some way shape? Does it help me? Does it help me to go? I'm gonna carry around this scar forever. Why? It's up to you, man. Sometimes it's up to you. Sometimes. Sometimes you just feel. Sometimes you feel really shitty and depressed and awful and you try to. You, it's. It's kind of like a form of copium. You. You try to convince yourself that it's just in your head and you can. You don't have to be depressed. But I don't. I don't believe in that. I think sometimes you just feel. Fuck. I think sometimes you're just miserable against your will. But this guy in particular, if he's in a new relationship and he's in a new whatever, and there's been some time, he's a little bit more leeway to just let it go like I think I have. Okay? I'm not. I'm. I'm. No more personal information about myself. Okay? All right. End of call.
- [48:25]
Matt Rogers
This is Matt Rogers from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang and Save the date. Prepare for chaos. You don't want to miss your cordially invited the hilarious new movie starring comedy all stars Will Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon. It's written and directed by Nicholas Stoller, who's behind hits like Forgetting Sarah Marshall, get him to the Greek and Neighbors. Disaster awaits when two weddings are accidentally booked on the same day at the same destination. Ven no alternatives to turn to. Each bridal party is challenged with preserving their family's special moment while making the most of the unanticipated tight quarters. Will Ferrell plays the father of the bride and Reese Witherspoon is the sister of the other bride as they stop at nothing to deliver the perfect wedding for the ones they love. From alligator attacks to black eyes to shipwrecks, there's no shortage of wedding hijinks. After all, there's always fun in family dysfunction. Don't miss this laugh out loud Showdown. It's Ferrell vs. Witherspoon, and you're cordially invited. Watch it on January 30th on Prime Video.
- [49:23]
Joel
2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel.
- [49:30]
Matt
Oh, and I am Matt.
- [49:32]
Joel
And we're the hosts of how to Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially.
- [49:41]
Gecko
Yeah.
- [49:41]
Matt
Whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt or you've got a sky high credit card balance because you wouldn't a little overboard with the holiday spending or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early. Well, how to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth.
- [50:01]
Joel
That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to how to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [50:15]
NPR Life Kit
Here at Life Kit, NPR's Self Help podcast, we love the idea of helping you make meaningful lifestyle changes. Our policy is to never be too punishing on yourself or too grand in your goals, which is why we've got shows on how to make little nudges to your behavior and create habits that stick. Listen to the Life Kit podcast on iHeartRadio.
- [50:39]
Gecko
Hello?
- [50:41]
Izzy
Hello?
- [50:42]
Gecko
Hi. Hi. Yes, I can hear you. What's your name?
- [50:46]
Izzy
My name's Izzy.
- [50:48]
Gecko
Izzy. What's up, Izzy? How's life?
- [50:51]
Izzy
Oh, my gosh, it's complicated. I will. Yeah. I will start off by saying I've had a couple. I've had a couple bowls this evening. Maybe.
- [51:07]
Gecko
You've had a couple. You have. You had a couple Goal. You said goals or bowls? No, no, no.
- [51:14]
Karen
Bulls.
- [51:17]
Gecko
You smoked. You smoked weed?
- [51:20]
Izzy
Maybe a little Mary Jane.
- [51:22]
Gecko
Yeah, pretty. That's. That's pretty crazy. That's pretty crazy. That's pretty crazy.
- [51:28]
Izzy
Anyway, currently in my life, I'm trying to figure out what. What the. I want to do with it, you know?
- [51:40]
Gecko
Any ideas?
- [51:43]
Izzy
Well, I have. I've been dancing for like, nine years now, and I've had people tell me, like, I should try and get into the industry and stuff, but LA is kind of on fire right now. Shout out to them. It's devastating.
- [52:12]
Gecko
But I'm okay.
- [52:14]
Izzy
I know, I know, I know. Anyway, I also just, like, I was thinking of moving to Philly. Do you think Philly is a good place?
- [52:24]
Gecko
Philadelphia is potentially my favorite city in America. Yeah.
- [52:30]
Izzy
Really?
- [52:30]
Gecko
Absolutely. I'm not with you. Philly's. Philly's a real hidden gem. Philly's great because it's. It's definitely walkable. Like, you don't need a car if you don't want one. Super affordable. Great culture. Yeah. Philly. Philly rocks. Yeah. If you're thinking about moving to Philly, I highly recommend it. It's a great city. I went to college there for, like four years. It was awesome.
- [52:58]
Izzy
Yeah.
- [53:00]
Gecko
What are you thinking about moving to Philly to do?
- [53:05]
Izzy
I know Philly is like. It seems. It seems like a pretty creative city, you know, Definitely And I. I'm a creative person. I, like, I really want a job where I can make things with my hands. You know what I mean?
- [53:24]
Gecko
Yeah. Yeah.
- [53:25]
Izzy
Doing something creative.
- [53:26]
Gecko
Yeah, but what are. Do you have, do you have a job now?
- [53:32]
Izzy
Yeah, I'm just. I'm just a delivery driver for Domino's, and I also teach dance classes.
- [53:41]
Gecko
Oh, you teach dance classes?
- [53:43]
Izzy
I do. I do.
- [53:44]
Karen
Just.
- [53:45]
Izzy
That's really cool. Home studio.
- [53:47]
Gecko
That's really cool. That's really cool. You could probably. Well, can I ask what city you live in now?
- [53:53]
Izzy
I live in North Platte, Nebraska.
- [53:57]
Gecko
Oh, wow. North Platte. Okay. Yeah. I mean, what. Yeah, go ahead. Give Philly a shot. Why not? Why not? How old are you?
- [54:10]
Izzy
Yeah, I'm 20. I'm gonna be 21 in March.
- [54:15]
Gecko
Yeah, go. Go to Philly. What? I. Yeah, why not? Why not? Why not? Yeah, go to Philly. Go to Philly. Teach dance. Live in a. Live in a. Live in a North Philadelphia row home with seven other people and pay $50 a month in rent and chase your dreams, homegirl.
- [54:39]
Izzy
Thank you. Yeah. I hope. I hope maybe someday I'll make it, do something that I love and enjoy.
- [54:48]
Gecko
You can do. Yeah, I mean, what do you. Look, you can, you can do. I, I have. I have. You can do whatever you love and enjoy today. You can make it right now.
- [54:58]
Izzy
It's true. Yeah. I've been struggling, like, with mental health, especially these last couple years, which has been holding me back, I think, from letting myself explore life and find new fun things, and I hate that. But also, I feel stuck sometimes, you know, just.
- [55:23]
Gecko
What's your name? What's, what's your name again?
- [55:26]
Izzy
Izzy.
- [55:27]
Gecko
Izzy. Izzy. I, I, I, I have no advice for you. I would just say just, just. I, I, I just go do. Go do stuff. If you're thinking about doing something, just. Just, Just do it. I don't. I. There's no. I. There's nothing I can say to you that is gonna do anything for you. You know what I mean?
- [55:48]
Izzy
This is true. This is true.
- [55:53]
Gecko
Is there anything else you, you want to. You want to say to the people, the computer before we go or anything else that you want to talk about?
- [56:00]
Izzy
Well, I'm also.
- [56:04]
Karen
Okay.
- [56:05]
Izzy
We don't have to make this too long. Of course, there's other people waiting, but sure. I'm. I have this major, major crush on a girl, and I don't know what to do about it.
- [56:18]
Gecko
What do you mean you don't know what to do about it? What do you mean? You're. Listen, Listen, it's the same piece of either. What do you mean you don't know what to do about it? What do you mean you don't know what to do?
- [56:31]
Izzy
Very Christian family. And so a lot of my family would disown me. You know what I mean?
- [56:39]
Gecko
Who is. Well, you know what? That sucks for them because that sucks for them because they had a fucking daughter. And. And part of having a daughter is you love your daughter and you don't get hung up on stupid bullshit. And so that's a problem for them and not a problem for you. So go move to Philadelphia. Go dance. Go tell this girl you like her and fucking go live your life. Okay.
- [57:06]
Izzy
Thank you, Geck. This has been very nice.
- [57:11]
Gecko
What's your name? What's your name again?
- [57:14]
Izzy
Izzy.
- [57:15]
Gecko
Izzy. Good luck, Izzy. Have a. Have a good rest of your entire life.
- [57:21]
Izzy
Thank you. I appreciate it. And thank you for people, people of the computer. Thanks for listening to me.
- [57:27]
Gecko
Have a good night, Izzy.
- [57:29]
Izzy
You too. By.
- [57:50]
NPR Life Kit
Here at Life Kit, NPR's Self Help podcast, we love the idea of helping you make meaningful lifestyle change. Our policy is to never be too punishing on yourself or too grand in your goals, which is why we've got shows on how to make little nudges to your behavior and create habits that stick. Listen to the Life Kit podcast on iHeartRadio.
- [58:14]
Jon Stewart
Catch Jon Stewart back in action on the Daily show and in your ears with the Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [58:49]
Jason Alexander
I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the really Know really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions, like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition sign. Jason Bobblehead. The really no really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.