“I NEED TO BE PERFECT”

Summary

Podcast Summary: Therapy Gecko – “I NEED TO BE PERFECT”

Host: Lyle (Therapy Gecko)
Date: April 8, 2026

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Episode Overview

This emotional and candid episode of Therapy Gecko centers around Lyle’s conversation with two callers, “Zelda” and her boyfriend “Jarquius.” The discussion moves from playful banter to deeply personal territory as the couple opens up about past trauma, the struggle for acceptance, feelings of inadequacy, and the universal desire for love and belonging. Jarquius, particularly, opens his heart about his challenges with identity, self-worth, and perfectionism, while Lyle responds with compassion, wisdom, and humor.

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Key Segments & Discussion Highlights

1. Lighthearted Beginnings: Introductions and Banter

[01:41–07:16]

• Zelda and Jarquius call in using pseudonyms, immediately setting a playful tone.
• They discuss favorite "Legend of Zelda" games, sharing light moments and poking fun at each other.
• Jarquius is introduced as the more talkative, outgoing half of the couple.
• Lyle encourages Zelda to own her space, picking up on her self-dismissive language and affirming her energy.

Lyle [05:35]: "Somebody who goes on and on and doesn’t stop talking isn’t a better conversationalist...I don’t want you to be down on yourself."

---

2. Zelda’s Story: Love After Toxic Relationships

[09:15–16:25]

• Zelda opens up about her current relationship with Jarquius, describing him as her “dream guy.”
• She reflects on learning how to be in a healthy relationship again after a history of toxic exes.

Zelda [10:04]: "He's literally everything I could ever dream of... he makes me feel a hundred percent, like so loved."

• Shares how her last relationship was competitive, argumentative, and left her feeling disliked and diminished.
• Contrasts that experience with her feelings of safety, love, and comfort with Jarquius.

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3. Meeting Jarquius: Raw Emotions and Identity

[18:00–32:47]

• Jarquius takes the phone, immediately expressing gratitude and laying out his struggles:
  • Mixed-race identity (“too Black for the whites, too white for the Blacks”), bullying, and not fitting in.
  • Years as a restaurant cook, describing how work and Zelda have helped him find joy.
  • Overwhelming feelings of being “just another cog” but desperately wanting to matter and be loved.

Jarquius [18:32]: "This is the first person in my life who has ever showed me it’s okay to be me...life is beautiful."

• Candidly describes pain from family and community not accepting him fully, leading him to a people-pleasing mindset.

Jarquius [23:52]: "I feel like I don’t matter to many...I'm the guy that everybody says, oh, you make us happy because you’re the guy that dances. But that's all I know, is how to make people happy. If y’all ain't happy, I ain't happy."

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4. Against the Weight of the World: Meaning, Nihilism, and Self-Worth

[24:33–32:47]

• Lyle and Jarquius discuss existential questions: Do our lives matter in the grand scheme?

Lyle [25:47]: "Matter in what context? ...You HAVE to adjust the scale of time and space to fit where you matter is."

• Jarquius expresses existential dread about world events, evil prevailing, personal suffering, and the desire to be “perfect” for everyone, especially for those he loves.

Jarquius [29:53]: "I want to be great...I want to be perfect for everybody, and my...but I'm not. And it hurts and it sucks."

• Lyle provides comfort and a practical shift in perspective:

Lyle [31:02]: "You CANNOT be perfect...So relieve yourself of this pain of trying to be something that's impossible to be."

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5. Real-Time Healing: Letting Go of Perfectionism

[31:46–33:08]

• Lyle reframes perfectionism as an impossibility—failing at trying to be perfect is like "failing at flying."
• Jarquius becomes emotional, admitting Lyle is the first to tell him this and expressing gratitude for the permission to just "exist as you are."

Jarquius [32:37]: "What you just told me is...I'm literally weeping right now. And I'm...I'm not embarrassed or ashamed, but it's okay."

• Lyle shares his own struggles, revealing that everyone has fears and carries existential weight.

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6. Community, Connection, and Affirmation

[34:50–37:10]

• Conversation moves to the importance of connection, ordinary joys, and mutual support.
• Zelda and Jarquius further share gratitude, saying, "I love you" to Lyle. The three affirm the importance of simply existing, of being real, and of being present in the current moment rather than obsessing over existential scale or future hypotheticals.

Lyle [41:00]: "Both you guys matter, dude. Both of you guys. Both you guys matter." Jarquius [41:25]: "Can I tell you that I...thank you. And I love you. Like, is that okay?" Lyle [41:29]: "I love you too. It's all right, dude."

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7. Vulnerability, Fandom, and Identity Play

[41:56–46:39]

• Jarquius reflects on his love of Sonic the Hedgehog, Final Fantasy, and Pokémon, describing how he used to hide these passions for fear of bullying.
• Lyle encourages him to embrace these interests, affirming that being yourself is okay, even when it’s hard to unlearn others’ judgment.

Lyle [46:25]: "It's like dude, bro, it's okay to just exist as you are. It's okay. It's really okay."

• The conversation is peppered with playful back-and-forths, tears, laughter, and moments of deep recognition.

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8. Life’s Weight, Aspirations, and Acceptance

[53:37–58:47]

• They touch on the universal wish for a "light yet full and productive" life.

Lyle [53:37]: "I want to have a life that feels really light...yet full and productive."

• Fears and sadness are discussed openly, with Lyle noting that even when you “make it,” life still feels heavy sometimes.

Lyle [56:24]: "It's been enormously helpful, but it hasn't infinitely solved all of my problems...or gotten me away from the things that feel heavy about my life."

• Jarquius shares his greatest fears—being alone in the ocean or in space—and how his upbringing (between Muslim and Christian parents) left him constantly questioning existence.

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9. Closure: Connection in the Present Moment

[58:47–62:21]

• The call winds down with heartfelt goodbyes, mutual affirmation, and gratitude for the conversation.
• Lyle encourages Zelda to take care of Jarquius and herself, promising to remember their unique energy.
• Everyone reiterates their appreciation for one another and the healing power of the dialogue.

Zelda [59:45]: "I'm very glad you get to talk to him. And I think he needed that, actually...I'm very grateful you got all that out of him."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Lyle [05:35]: "Somebody who goes on and on and doesn't stop talking isn't a better conversationalist."
• Zelda [10:04]: "He's literally everything I could ever dream of."
• Jarquius [18:32]: "This is the first person in my life that has ever showed me it's okay to be me."
• Lyle [25:47]: "Matter in what context?... You HAVE to adjust the scale of time and space to fit where you matter is."
• Lyle [31:02]: "You cannot be perfect. No one can be perfect. So it's impossible to fail at being perfect."
• Jarquius [32:37]: "What you just told me is...I'm literally weeping right now."
• Lyle [41:00]: "Both you guys matter, dude."
• Lyle [46:25]: "It's okay to just exist as you are. It's okay. It's really okay."
• Lyle [53:37]: "I want to have a life that feels really light, yet full and productive."
• Lyle [56:24]: "It's been enormously helpful, but it hasn't infinitely solved all of my problems."
• Zelda [59:45]: "I think he needed that, actually. And I'm very grateful that you got all that out of him."

---

Episode Flow & Tone

The episode is characterized by a blend of warmth, humor, sincere vulnerability, and philosophical inquiry. Lyle deftly balances playful banter about video games and Greek mythology with serious, empathetic responses to his callers’ emotional struggles. The conversation touches on the pain of not fitting in, perfectionism, the search for meaning, and the healing that comes from being seen and accepted. The overall tone is nurturing, affirming, and real—full of laughter and tears alike.

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Final Thoughts

This episode stands out for its depth and honesty. Lyle guides Zelda and Jarquius (and listeners) through an exploration of what it means to be “enough,” to feel loved, to let go of perfection—and to find meaning in one's own unique existence, despite the existential weight of the universe. Listeners are left with the strong reminder: “It’s all right to exist, guys.”

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Recommended for anyone seeking comfort, affirmation, and solidarity in the messiness of being human.

Transcript

[Jeresha]

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[Lyle]

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[Jarquius]

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[Lyle]

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[Lyle]

Hello?

[Zelda]

Hello?

[Lyle]

Hi. What's your name?

[Zelda]

Oh, my God. Holy. Is this Lyle?

[Lyle]

Yeah. Who is this?

[Zelda]

Oh, my God. Oh, okay, so. Oh, so my boyfriend just used a fake name. But we were calling just because we're seeing what you were doing right now. Wait, I'm gonna put you in speaker. Is that okay?

[Lyle]

Actually, no. Can you take. I. I like, I like. It's hard to be on the speakerphone because then I. It's hard room for me to hear. But I want to talk to both of you. We'll. Don't worry, I'll. I'll have my time. What's your boyfriend's name?

[Jarquius]

Oh, my God.

[Zelda]

Should we use the fake name? Okay. Okay.

[Lyle]

Don't worry. Yeah, don't worry. I'll I'll. I'll have my time with Jarquavius, but for now, I'm talking.

[Zelda]

Okay. Yes. Oh. How are you doing, dude?

[Lyle]

I'm.

[Zelda]

That's crazy. I've never talked to you on the phone.

[Lyle]

I'm. You. I'm actually doing great. I. I don't say things like this to people unless I meet them. But you have great energy, and I'm excited to talk to you. I could tell immediately excited to talk to someone if they have good energy. I feel like I actually. I feel like I got good dar for that, and I'm.

[Zelda]

Oh, no. Yeah.

[Lyle]

I'm getting good readings from you. You seem like a nice person. I'm excited to talk to you. I wouldn't say that if I didn't mean.

[Zelda]

I'll give you a fake name for me. I think I will be. I'll do Zelda. Zelda a lot.

[Lyle]

What's your favorite one?

[Zelda]

Twilight Princess all the way.

[Lyle]

That's a good answer. That's a good answer.

[Zelda]

Oh, wait.

[Jarquius]

Okay.

[Zelda]

So j. Wait, no, Jarv. Kobe is just.

[Lyle]

I don't. I'm talking.

[Jarquius]

Hold on.

[Lyle]

I'm talking.

[Zelda]

Okay, but he just said it late. I said a Twilight Princess, and he said lame.

[Jarquius]

We're the coolest interracial couple.

[Lyle]

I don't care. I don't care. I'm Zelda.

[Zelda]

Okay, what's your favorite Zelda, first of all?

[Lyle]

Zelda. Zelda, Zelda. Do me a favor. Tell Jarquius to shut the up for just one second. I will talk to him. I want to talk to you first.

[Zelda]

Okay? Okay. Okay.

[Lyle]

Did he get upset?

[Zelda]

Okay. No. Yeah, he did. Okay, I'm gonna go in the room. Okay, Wait. We're gonna talk separately. We're gonna do. I'm gonna do my.

[Lyle]

I didn't mean to upset J.

[Zelda]

Because he's. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Okay. No, no. Okay. Okay. No. Okay. So we're gonna do. Separate. We're gonna do.

[Jeresha]

I want.

[Lyle]

Hold on. I want.

[Zelda]

Because

[Lyle]

I want to talk to Jarquius. He's just. I just need to talk to you first.

[Zelda]

Oh, I know.

[Jarquius]

He.

[Zelda]

No, he's a yapper. I want to talk to you for real quick, Lisa. Real second, because I know he's the star of the show, and I'm not.

[Lyle]

What? Hold on, wait, hold on, hold on. He's the star of the show, and you're not. What the is that supposed to mean?

[Zelda]

It means, like, he can, like, go on for hours and hours and hours, and he's, like, such.

[Lyle]

That doesn't mean.

[Zelda]

That doesn't And I love him, and, like, he's. So

[Lyle]

is this man holding you hostage in a basement? What is going on?

[Zelda]

No, he's. He's. He's in the other room. I'm in my room, so I'm. Sliding doors for my room. I have the master bedroom, but he's in the other room, and he's talking to our friend. But he's. He's like, Just like the better part of me. But I'm asking you a question right now. I want to know what your favorite Zelda is.

[Lyle]

Hold on. There's so much going on beneath this. Okay, first of all, I. What, dude? What's going. He's the star of the show, by the way. Just. By the way, Zelda, just so that somebody who goes on and on and on and on and doesn't stop talking is not a good conversationalist.

[Zelda]

I'm sorry.

[Lyle]

No, no, I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about. Because you said. Because you said a bunch of things. You were like, jarquius is the star of the show. Jarquius is better at this than I am. And you're just. I don't. Why are you discounting yourself? Zelda, I told you at the beginning of this, I'm excited to talk to you. I haven't. I'll have my time with Jarquius, but I'm excited to talk to you. I meant it. So I don't want you to be down on yourself. I don't want you to feel like Jerkwavius. He'll have his moment, but this is yours, you know? Like, he's not. There's no star in the show.

[Zelda]

Well, okay. We'll have a moment right now. Okay. Yeah, that's cool. I understand that. Yeah.

[Lyle]

Are you okay? Are you doing all right?

[Zelda]

No, yeah, he's chill. I'm just like. I just got super excited. I never talked to you on the phone. We've met in real life, but I just never talked to you on the phone. And I've always tried to. And so now I'm, like, freaking out. And you did try to call me once, and I missed the call. And I feel bad because I messaged you a bunch of time, and I was like, you're gay. If you don't call me back.

[Lyle]

Okay. I was. What?

[Jarquius]

I.

[Zelda]

And I feel bad.

[Lyle]

I was.

[Zelda]

I feel bad about that.

[Lyle]

I was wondering why I've been gay lately.

[Zelda]

You're not gay. But I. I. I'll tell you the prompt. That. What? I think that why you called me back is because I. I don't know if you remember it, but it was, like, so long ago. I snuck a full bottle of whiskey into a convention, like, for Comic Con.

[Lyle]

Okay.

[Zelda]

And I was so drunk, and I didn't answer your phone call, but I knew it was you because it was from Philadelphia when you were still living there. And I was like, oh, my God, that's a therapy gecko.

[Lyle]

Wait, hold on. Okay. Hold on. I have a lot of things to say about what you just said. First of all, you called me. I think I picked up a call for. I. You called me. But then also, you said that the. That I tried to call you once from a. There's no way I would have called you from a Philadelphia phone number. I haven't lived in Phil. You. I haven't lived in Philadelphia in, like, six years. But also, this phone number. It's not a Philadelphia you. Any. If you got a missed call from a Philadelphia phone number, that was not me. And I don't remember this. Wait, what do you.

[Zelda]

That's crazy, because it could. It could have had. It had to been you.

[Lyle]

That wasn't me.

[Zelda]

No, because I. Okay, maybe then it wasn't because I was at Comic Con and I got a missed call and I messaged you.

[Lyle]

Can I say something?

[Zelda]

Maybe it was different.

[Lyle]

Can I. Can I say something real quick?

[Zelda]

Yes.

[Lyle]

We've been on the phone for about seven minutes now. Zelda. Zelda. We've been on the phone for about seven minutes now. We've. We've been in the past. We've been talking about Jarquius. We've been talking about a lot of things.

[Zelda]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

I still feel like. I feel like I still haven't started having this conversation with you right now. And I really. I want to. And I want to have this. Do not do anything wrong. Okay. But I want to start. I want to have this conversation with you because I feel like I'm. I feel like I still don't know anything about you. First of all, don't you wish that they would port Twilight Princess to the switch already?

[Zelda]

Do you not like Twilight Princess?

[Lyle]

Do I not like it?

[Jarquius]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Why wouldn't I like. I do. I love Twilight Princess. I love all the Zelda games. How did you meet Jarquius?

[Zelda]

We met at my friend's party in a backyard, but he just kind of, like, passed again. So new. He's like, oh, you. You. He's like, oh, hey, what's up? And then you've asked me for my Instagram, and then it was fun. I gave Him My Instagram. But you know, still.

[Lyle]

How long have you and Jarqui's been living together?

[Zelda]

We don't live together, but we've literally just had our six month anniversary and we've been chilling.

[Lyle]

Cool.

[Zelda]

Like, I'm in love with him, so we're chilling.

[Lyle]

What do you love so much about Jarquius?

[Zelda]

Oh, he's like literally everything could ever dream of. He's got the personality, he's got like all the good looks and he. We like. I think my favorite thing about him is like, we literally have like so much in common and like the same amount of humor and everything. And it's like I can like just make a reference and he already knows. This is fun.

[Lyle]

That is fun. What is your life like, Zelda?

[Zelda]

My life has been kind of weird. I think I'm just like kind of learning how to be in a relationship again and all that, but I think it's fine. But I think it's honestly, like he's been helping that a lot too. And I think I've been in a lot of bad living spaces and I think I'm finally comfortable with a lot of shit and. Oh, he's signaling that he wants to talk to you, but hold on, give me one second.

[Lyle]

Hold on. What?

[Zelda]

He's. He. He said he wants to listen.

[Jarquius]

I want to listen to y' all talk. Be real to him. Be real him right now.

[Zelda]

He said he wants to be real.

[Lyle]

Oh, my God. Can I talk. Can I talk to Jacquavius for like one second?

[Zelda]

Okay, yeah, he wants to talk to you. Remember, you're Jacquavius. I'm Zelda. Remember that.

[Jarquius]

Howdy, Jarquius.

[Lyle]

Listen, I. Jarkavis, I swear on my life, unless if there are technical issues going on with the show, I. I will talk to you, but I gotta get. I gotta get.

[Jarquius]

I would love to talk to.

[Lyle]

I gotta, I gotta get it. But, but, but you. But Jacquevis, you gotta let. Zelda, I have for a moment real quick. I gotta get in. I gotta get into it. No, no, no.

[Jarquius]

Zelda, come back. Zelda, come back. Don't come back.

[Zelda]

Come back.

[Jarquius]

It's easy right now.

[Zelda]

Oh, okay.

[Lyle]

Okay. I will talk to you, Jarquabius, I swear.

[Zelda]

Okay.

[Jarquius]

There you go, babe.

[Lyle]

Zelda. Oh, okay. So you're relearning how to get into a relationship?

[Zelda]

Yes.

[Lyle]

What is. How long were you single before you met Javius?

[Zelda]

I think like two years, honestly.

[Lyle]

Okay. And were you in a long term relationship before then?

[Zelda]

No, I think my last relationship was like, really, really Toxic and. Close the door. Stop. I know. Close the door. Can you close the door? He's like, getting concerned because it's sketchy.

[Lyle]

Concerning about what?

[Zelda]

I don't know. He. No, my. I just feel like my last relationship was like, really like, it was like up because I think we actually did hate each other.

[Lyle]

Why did.

[Zelda]

But with him, I.

[Lyle]

So why. Why do you feel like you hated each other?

[Zelda]

Oh, cuz we like argued all the time and it was always like a. I think to him it was like a competition. And I think that he hated that I had more friends than him and that I always had something to do. And then like, I was just like more popular than him.

[Lyle]

Interesting. So why did you guys. So I assume it didn't start out that way. Like, how did it evolve into that? Like, it must have started out well enough for you to enter the relationship.

[Zelda]

Oh, well, this. We're talking about Max, right? Yeah, yeah, it kind of did. I just. Well, I mean, it's like a long story, but I had moved back into a city where I grew up in and I. I loved it. But my ex before that had gotten like, really popular and like, I just felt like super kind of like. Oh yeah, like, nothing really stood out to me because my ex before, the ex that I'm talking about right now, it just never really like, felt like, oh, you're gonna be better than anything else I've ever had. And it's like. I'm not saying that. Hold on, let me try to word this.

[Lyle]

Okay. The X before that. The X before that, you were like, oh, I could do better. By the way, that's a complete. By the way, if that's how you felt, that's completely valid. That's I could do. It's a valid. It's a totally valid feeling if that's how you felt.

[Zelda]

Yeah. Okay, so here's how it is. My ex, currently, I hate his ass.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Zelda]

And the ex before that, it was like, yeah, in. In the time being, it was like, oh, this is the greatest person ever. He showed me this. He showed me this. He did this for me and this for me. But it was like back then, and I don't care. And then like my recent ex, who I hate, who made me feel like a piece of and like, did all these things. I'm like, ah, so now I'm back to level zero. But Jarquius is like literally the. The one person who is like, oh, this person didn't even like, do half the. That any of my ex has ever did. There's just a person who makes me feel like a hundred percent, like so loved. So everything. I don't even like, like my past ex who I thought like I was in love with, like, took me traveling, everything. It's like, he didn't take me traveling. He's just like, is in person and I love him. And so I'm like, holy. I'm chilling. But that's why I'm chilling.

[Lyle]

Zelda. Zelda, let me talk to Jarquius.

[Zelda]

Okay? Yeah, I don't know what he said to you in that time, but he is also really drunk and I. I'm scared do okay.

[Lyle]

That what you just said is such a red flag. What is up, dude?

[Zelda]

No, no, no, no, dude, no.

[Lyle]

Zelda, are you okay? Like, who is this? Like, Jarquis? He won't let us be on the phone together. He's drunk and you're scared? You know what's going on with Jarquius?

[Zelda]

He's just like. No, Jacobius is fine. He's just like super, like, he's like excited. He is excited. He's like. And I know he's gonna ramble, but you got.

[Lyle]

Okay, let me talk to. Let me talk to Jarquavius. I'll just talk to him.

[Zelda]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he's outside. Okay, I'm gonna make sure he's in the room alone. You can be there.

[Lyle]

You can be. You can be there when I talk to Jacobius. That's okay.

[Zelda]

Okay. Right there.

[Lyle]

I don't mind.

[Jarquius]

Come here.

[Zelda]

You gotta keep the. Keep the cigarette outside. No, you gotta.

[Lyle]

Dude, who is this guy? Jacquavius?

[Jarquius]

I went to diabetic shot.

[Zelda]

Okay, wait, so I can put you in the speaker? Is that okay?

[Lyle]

You could just give it. Do you just give. You can just give the phone to Jacquavius.

[Zelda]

Okay. Yeah. Okay.

[Jarquius]

Remember that I'm Jarclavius. But my dad told me that we. He named us White Name so we can get jobs someday. So I use Shark previous as the counterpart to that, but. Howdy. How are you doing, my friend?

[Lyle]

Jarquevis, what are you doing right now?

[Jarquius]

I. I just got off from working a shift as a cook by myself because everybody called out and it sucked and I got destroyed at my job. So I'm with my. The love of my life that showed me how to smile again and play Final Fantasy and Pokemon and just be myself and not get bullied anymore.

[Lyle]

Wow, she showed you how to smile again. Tell me about that.

[Jarquius]

I am. I'm considered. But they. Some people say a Mulatto or a white boy or red bone or a yellow bone. I'm too black for the white. Too white for the blacks, or what is that the term? Is that what they say? But. But just be yourself, dude. It's okay to be yourself, but no, not to judge you. And this is the first person in my life that has ever showed me it's okay to be me. And so I smile more, I shave more, and I iron my clothes more, and I do more. And I don't just sit in my room and play PlayStation all the time anymore. I'm happy. Life is great. I used to hate life, but life is beautiful.

[Lyle]

Why were you getting bullied?

[Jarquius]

So keeping things short. I was a military brat. We moved everywhere every month, every other year. I was a kid that always ate lunch by themselves. So I had to learn how to adapt. I don't want to eat lunch by myself. So I have to figure out, I look at people for like, one minute. There's got to be one thing I could look at at somebody to say we have one thing in common. So I don't have to eat lunch by myself. So I get bullied by my black homies. Like, you're a white boy. You wear skinny pants and listen to Circus survive and Anthony Green and. And you know, the Smiths and, you know, you, like, wear Iron Maiden shirts and skinny pants and skater shoes. But then my white family or my Turkish family, because I'm bon to you, so Turkish, you're like. But you adapt to the. Their white culture and this and that, or you're not us enough. So I get bullied by my family for not being enough for both sides. My parents divorce. They say, well, what's your daddy get you? Oh, he didn't get you that. And the other side say this, well, what's your mama get you? Oh, they ain't. They don't care about you a little white boy, you little red skin, or hate your skin so much. Let's see if you turn dark enough when we hit your skin so much with the ruler like that. Just this bully mentality to make you. I guess it was to make me stronger, but it made me more emotional and made me want to latch on and love people more.

[Lyle]

How long you been working as the cook?

[Jarquius]

How am I working at the cook now?

[Lyle]

How long have you been working as the cook?

[Jarquius]

I've been working there for 11 years.

[Lyle]

Wow.

[Jarquius]

I'm like the epitome of what Anthony Bourdain preaches. It's like, you try, you cry, you Live and you give, and that's all you got. You're gonna be okay. You cry and he may be an addict to a beer or crying and needing a hug, but it's gonna get better someday.

[Lyle]

Damn. How you doing, Jarquius?

[Jarquius]

I cry a lot, but until I met this vessel of a. No, no, you're not, Zelda. You're a vessel. You're a vessel of greatness. You're my Pygmalion. I love Greek mythology. So you are the greatest statue or person that. That I created in my brain that exists to me. I'm. I miss my mom. Yeah. There's a story in Greek mythology, this dude, like, didn't have any, like, girls or anything, so he made a statue. The best sculptor, and he made the greatest statue. His, like a Renaissance woman and his vision and he prayed to the gods and Aphrodite's like, you know what? Going to make that statue you made. And the image of your eye is the greatest woman ever real. And as he was finishing that. That. That statue, she came alive and said, I love you. And he said, nobody ever said you love me. And web to her feet. And I just want to be loved. That's all. And I met somebody that finally loves me and not fake. And. And. I'm not gonna get emotional right now, but I'm happy, I'm emotional and I'm not proud. But I'm trying my best and I'm trying.

[Lyle]

Jarquius.

[Jarquius]

I just. That name is so defiant. It is probably was a king in, like, Liberia or somewhere in days before our existence. But I thank you for giving me the grace of even speaking to me. And I pray and I wish that I don't bother you, but it's an honor to speak to you right now. Why would you.

[Lyle]

Why would you bother me, jerk? Why would you bother me, Jarquius?

[Jarquius]

Because you have such an impact on the world, which you know or you don't know, but it matters because time is of the essence and your time matters. I'm a literal ant on this planet. I'm another cog in the wheel.

[Lyle]

And are you. Are you. Are you. You're not implying that yours does not.

[Zelda]

His flushing.

[Jarquius]

You said what?

[Lyle]

As you're not implying. You. You're. You're. Would you say. Are you not implying that your time doesn't matter? Are you?

[Jarquius]

No, I feel like I. I don't matter. To many. I think that I exist and I'm there for people to either step. Walk over me or. Honestly, I just feel like I'm the guy at my job that just makes everybody happy. Dude, can I. I'm the goober that's like. Yeah. No, no, no, you're. You're right. Not right, but continue what you're saying. I'm just the guy that everybody says, oh, you make us happy because you're the guy that dances. But that's all I know is how to make people happy. If y' all ain't happy, I ain't happy.

[Lyle]

That's good.

[Jarquius]

Well, but I'm scared.

[Lyle]

Yeah, here's the thing. Well, not like nihilism is like a. It's truly a scale issue. Because, I mean, think about the most impactful people on the planet. Like, when you. You. There's. There's an amount of time forward that you can go, an amount of time back. An amount of, you know, like, time and space that you can go backwards to where, like, they don't matter at fucking all. And similarly, there's. Amount of time. There's. Like, you. You have to. If you want to stop being a nihilist, you have to adjust the scale of time and space to fit where you matter is.

[Jarquius]

Is a nihilist the same as being a doomer? For my understanding. For a lack of my better words, because when I talk to my sister, she says, you're a peanut gallery. She said, you're just a. You're a goober, mentally. You're Homer, you're SpongeBob. You care. You try, but you don't matter. You're just another person that makes us happy to exist, but you don't. Wait, matter.

[Lyle]

Well, yeah, but matter in matter. In what context? Like, do you. Do you matter in the grand scheme of the universe? Well, I mean, yeah. I mean, yes, actually. Hold up. Fuck you, jerky. Because I'm going to argue that you matter in the grand scale of the universe.

[Jarquius]

Okay, dude? Because I'm literally right now, because the

[Lyle]

grand scale of the universe is inclusive of. Of. Of. Of. You're included in the grand scale of the universe. You're a little brick in the grand scale of the universe. But you. But every brick in the grand scale of the universe matters. It's like saying, you know, it's like saying, how many bricks can we take out of this building until it collapses? Or, like, does the. Does this brick matter? And also, by the way, like, the grand scale of the universe is stupid. Like, when you get too nihilistic, it's because you're. You don't want to live in the grand scale of the universe. It's. You Know, go visit. Go and visit the grand scale of the universe. You're not gonna like what you see, but it's okay to return to the scale, the scale of the universe of your relationship or your work or the person you're talking to in whatever moment. And then in that scale, you matter.

[Jarquius]

Does this matter? Does everything matter at the end of the day? Like, we. We live and we give and we cry and we try, but does at the end of this all, when I had to, I'm so. I try to disconnect with the world. I'll keep it quick. I watch this shit with Trump and doing all this and Epstein, that doesn't matter. That means nothing to me. But it does mean something to me because it's like, wait, evil prevails, but good doesn't? I have to pay taxes and do this and work, you know, Like. Like, at what point do we win? The small, like the, the working class, the. The people that tried. The people that, that, that, that. Like when my mom tried to kill herself. And I'm like, calling her every day, and she can't be at the hospital, so I can't call her every day. I gotta call her once a week because she's down at the mental ward. What is, what, what is this purpose? When my eyes close, is it going to be like a long dream or is it going to be like, just something, somebody that says, oh, wait, hey, there are other players. Hey, I'm John the B or whoever with the book. Oh, your story's crazy. You want to get in heaven. Is this, like, what is this purpose? What is my purpose? So I be good and. And people do me dirty and I still got to keep being good. And, and, And I don't get it. Be good and still get on.

[Lyle]

I just. You're lit.

[Jarquius]

You're.

[Lyle]

For. When you start talking about, you know, Trump and Jeffrey Epstein and the life after death and all that stuff, you. You're. You're living beyond the scale in which you can. Like, like when you look at a dog.

[Jarquius]

What can I control? What, what do you control in your life? You control your life, right? So how can I control my life?

[Lyle]

You. What do you. Yeah, you. You can. You're in a. You're in a relationship. You're making.

[Jarquius]

I used to hop on trains. I used to hop on trains and go to hardcore shows and be a punk rock dude, and nobody cared about me. My parents didn't care. I met kids that said, hey, let's hop on trains and go to Portland. Let's go To. From. From the fest in Gainesville, Florida, to Richmond, Virginia, and go see these shitty ass hardcore. And like, I don't mean to ramble, but I'm like, I gotta keep it real. Like, that made me feel like I mattered.

[Lyle]

Okay, great.

[Jarquius]

That's what they didn't.

[Lyle]

Hold on. What do you mean? And then. It didn't.

[Jarquius]

It didn't. Because now I'm not. I hate the fact that I have to compare myself to when I look at people on Instagram and they're just like, oh, we're in Tahiti and we're in Dubai and that shit's lame as.

[Lyle]

But I'm like, dude, but what are you talking. What are you. What are you. What are you talking?

[Jarquius]

I want to be great. I want to make sure that I'm. That I can take care of my dad and my. Like, I. I just want to be perfect. Actually, in a grand scheme of things, I want to be perfect for everybody and my. But I'm not. And it hurts and it sucks.

[Lyle]

You want to be perfect?

[Jarquius]

Yeah, I want to be perfect.

[Lyle]

Well, I want you to accept me

[Jarquius]

for everything I'm saying.

[Lyle]

You want me to what? You. For everything you're saying?

[Jarquius]

Accept me for everything that I'm saying. My truth and understand me and feel me and. And. And say, you know what? I don't care what you got to say, but you matter. Dude.

[Lyle]

Like, dude, hold on. First you. You can't be perfect. That's impossible. Like, give that up immediately. You can't be perfect. That's insane. No one. You can't. I. That. By the way, that's good news. Because, by the way, let me tell you something. This is really good news.

[Jarquius]

You don't hurt nobody. You don't. You ain't heard.

[Lyle]

Hold on, dude. This is Jarquis. It's really good news. You don't have to be. Okay. You want to be perfect, and then you feel like you're not perfect and that's causing you pain. I will relieve you of your pain right now. You cannot be perfect. No one can be perfect. So it's impossible to fail at being perfect. It's like failing at, like, flying or something. Like, you can't physically do it. So. So relieve yourself of this pain of trying to be something that's impossible to be. It's like if you said you wanted to transform into Sonic the Hedgehog, I'd be like. And you were. You were like, driving yourself crazy because you couldn't do a ring dash, you know?

[Jarquius]

Because you couldn't do a Homing attack supposed to be. You're the first person to ever tell me that. I thought that was my duty as a human. When I see an angel and I spit on it, and the ants go around the spit, they still got to perform their life, their duty. I was like, so my duty is to be a perfect human, but when I spit on the ant, their duty is to be a perfect ant, ain't it? They go around that spit glob or my, my magnifying glass. I, I, I, I, I, I. That this, whatever this life and this existence is, it petrifies me. But for the one time in my life, I found somebody that loves me so much and that makes me be able to sleep at night and just, just does. Everything is cool. It's, it's easy. It's like water. Like Bruce Lee says, you know, I'm sorry to ramble or cut you off, but.

[Lyle]

No, it's all right.

[Jarquius]

What you just told me is I'm literally weeping right now. And I'm, I don't. I'm not embarrassed or ashamed, but it's okay. Like, it's okay. I'm glad my heart's beating.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Jarquius]

Are you okay? Where. How do you feel?

[Lyle]

How do I feel? Life petrifies me, too, but with life. Yeah, life petrifies me too, but that's because I'm doing. Every time life petrifies me, it's because I'm. I'm living in a scale that I shouldn't be in.

[Jarquius]

What, what does that mean for I have a Homer Simpson brain? You have a Stephen Hawking. Like, some.

[Lyle]

No, I don't.

[Jarquius]

Some Palmer. No, you're like, Palmer. You're like, you know, you know who I look up to? Dial? Hennis. And he was what? You know, like, he's like. To hold a light to a man's face is to see the truth. Like, what, what if you had to say this? If I could ask you one question and keep it quick.

[Lyle]

Okay.

[Jarquius]

What is the definition of your life and your purpose, my friend?

[Lyle]

What's the definition of my life and my purpose? I mean, it evolves. It's something I think about all the time. And again, it evolves. But I, I, I mean, I'm always figuring that out. I mean, I can even answer this question. But, like, when I say, like, my, the scale of my life is like, once I start thinking about, like, you know, once I start thinking about, like, oh, no, the, the inherent reality of life is suffering and all this. And then the other thing, I feel stupid because I Look at other cuz. Because, because look, if I've. As a result of the conclusions that I've come to about existence, I'm. I'm really no different than anyone or anything else. And I see like a 60 year old guy like eating a sandwich and I'm like, well, he can do it. Why can't I do it? Why can't I just kind of. Why can't if other. I literally, I look around all the time and I see people out in the world who are successfully bearing the brunt of existing and I, and they're no different than I am. So I'm like, okay, if they can do it, I can do it.

[Jarquius]

You know, no dipping tonight. No dipping. Than I am.

[Zelda]

No dipping.

[Lyle]

I see a 65 year old guy with like a baseball hat and he's like laughing and talking about something and I'm like, he's. And I'm like, this guy's like way closer to dying than I am and he's not freaking out. Why am I freaking out?

[Jarquius]

How do you make it sound so simple for me to cry and talk to you about this? Like, you have me. I'm literally weeping right now, but I understand it. You, you, you make it easy for my ears to comprehend. Like what dot life?

[Lyle]

What dot life dude?

[Jarquius]

I like, like just be good and just get it done and just live and die like that. Like I, I care so much about people and everything but I said people care about me. People don't give a damn about me except for the love of my life. That it was like, dude, you matter bro. Like you matter. I know when you cry. I know when you get goosebumps. I know when you hear a song you love. I know when you in a cigarette. I know when you, you hear this like ghost mice or like you know Def Ohio, these punk, like you know folk punk bands that make you feel a type of way. They're doing the Morrissey cover like, like, like it's okay dude, like. And I got your back. And for the one time in my life I found somebody that got my bag. And now insights into TurboTax business.

[Podcast Host/Announcer]

Jerisha, you went from engineering to selling $19 PDFs on Facebook Live. And now you're a full on business coach. What made you want to leave engineering and start your own business?

[Jeresha]

I loved my career. But somewhere along the way I realized that the American dream I had been get the good degree, get the good job with good benefits and stay there for 30 years just wasn't my dream. I grew up Watching what happens when people don't have money to choose something different. They stay in relationships, jobs or situations that weren't good for them. Maybe longer than they should because financial dependence took away those options. I started this business on the side to give myself more optionality and more choice. And what I discovered was that the same skills that made me a really great engineer, the systems thinking, the process, problem solving, that really translated well into entrepreneurship. I just had to learn how to apply them differently.

[Podcast Host/Announcer]

How does working with a TurboTax expert fit into this bigger idea of not trying to business hack your way through everything alone?

[Jeresha]

I think that when we think about business hacking, it's really just a sophisticated way of describing what happens when someone is too proud, too overwhelmed or too resource constrained to just ask for real help. And I get it. I think all of us have been there at one point or another. What I have learned is that the fastest task forward almost always runs through someone who has already been where you're trying to go and an actual expert with real experience in your specific situation. And that's what TurboTax experts for business really allows you to have. They aren't generalists. They're matched to your industry. They have an average of 13 years of experience and they prepare, sign and file your taxes. You're available to them year round. It really gives you this peace of mind and assurance knowing that what needs to be done, that is a a business requirement for you to have is being done properly and being done well.

[Podcast Host/Announcer]

How can leaning on a TurboTax expert help them feel like they don't have to navigate all the complicated stuff alone?

[Jeresha]

I would recommend someone to open up a separate bank account that is specifically for savings for taxes. I would also recommend that they go to turbotax.com business to connect with a

[Jarquius]

TurboTax expert giving you the inside tips on your small business taxes.

[Lyle]

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[Jarquius]

and I'm sorry for like rambling and like I I, I, I, I. I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry for just being like bothering and taking your time because you matter and so many people want to talk to you, but so many people.

[Lyle]

What are you talking Jacques? What are you talking about, man?

[Jarquius]

How can you make me laugh and cry at the same time? This is amazing.

[Lyle]

What do you talk to you and dude, you and Zelda I. You and Zelda I. You guys have this thing where you're

[Zelda]

like, I know that you're.

[Lyle]

Dude, you guys. Both you guys matter. Dude, both of you guys. Both you guys matter.

[Jarquius]

I wish she could hear this because we're not on speaker.

[Lyle]

But both of you guys have this Both you guys have this thing where it's like you're like. She was like, oh, I'm Jas is the star of the show and you have this thing where you're like, oh, I'm not like you guys. It's all right to you. It's all right to exist, guys. It's all right to exist.

[Jarquius]

Am I allowed to tell you? Can I tell you that I, I, I, I thank you. And I love you. Like, is that okay?

[Lyle]

I love you too. It's all right, dude. All right.

[Jarquius]

Like I hope may like I like, I want me and my girl to be able to see Grand Theft Auto 6 come out. I want to Odyssey. I want to see the Odyssey. I love Greek mythology. And my parents, my all my hood cousins would be like, man, that's some white boy. I love Greek mythology. That shit's so beautiful. That made me cry.

[Lyle]

Huh?

[Jarquius]

Like I would. I wish I could see the Odyssey with you and hold your arm with my girl and just watch it. I'm serious. I'm so serious. And I found out. Guess what? I found out two weeks ago. I went to a diabetic a shock. I went to a diabetic shock. And my girl saved me, Zelda saved my life, took me to the er and they said, you're inside of big shock. Your heartbeat is song the hedgehog times 10. So it's nothing basically, huh?

[Zelda]

Oh, don't, don't talk about.

[Jarquius]

Well no, we talked about Sonic, but then. Okay, anyway, are you a big, are

[Lyle]

you a Sonic fan?

[Jarquius]

Oh, he said, are you a big Sonic? Okay. They sent her it out.

[Zelda]

Yeah, do it.

[Jarquius]

I like Sonic.

[Lyle]

That's not nerding out saying I like Sonic.

[Zelda]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Jarquius]

But you know what I love more than Sonic, Sonic is I used to get bullied for talking about Sonic. Are you kidding? Pokemon. Okay, so yeah, yeah. When I was a kid. When I was a kid. When I was a kid. You ever got an ass whooper for not beating a video game on Sega Genesis?

[Lyle]

That's crazy.

[Jarquius]

That's not a comparison. And I shouldn't ask that. That's such a shitty thing to say. Have you ever? No. I got my ass kicked for not beating.

[Lyle]

Okay, go, just go ahead.

[Jarquius]

I got my ass kicked for not being signed with my brother. So Sonic 2 came up. My dad said, I got this from the pawn shop. We're getting stationed to another place. We're leaving off at Air Force, basically going to another air force base. And if you, if you can't be good on the football field, the soccer field, or do this, or even play video games good, you're, you're, you're not good enough. Figure it out. So we got good at Sonic quick until we got to Sonic 2. We got to the end and we couldn't beat it. We could Never beat it when you get the yellow. Like, we could never do it and he's just like, never. I felt like he just was like, yeah, y' all ain't like until you beat Eggman. Well, no, it's not Eggman, but anyways, we shouldn't go there. I'm so sorry, but did you say something about Final Fantasy?

[Lyle]

Who's your favorite Sonic the Hedgehog character?

[Jarquius]

Oh, my God. I got it. Oh, my God, babe. I'm not a nerd, am I? You're not gonna make fun of me. I'm not

[Zelda]

make fun of you.

[Jarquius]

Seriously, like, okay, I love you. Okay, okay, hear me out. Hear me out.

[Lyle]

I'm hearing.

[Jarquius]

Yeah, Eggman first. Eggman first. But Knuckles is my favorite character of all time because, yeah, I care about, like, it not just because he had hair like me, but Knuckles did when I, when we bought Sonic 3. And you've seen that cover, the COVID of the game. And you see the, the three fingers with the, the face.

[Zelda]

Who the is that?

[Jarquius]

We had Sonic 1 and 2 on Sega. We didn't. We weren't Nintendo kids. Oh, no. We're talking about Sonic. You know, Sonic. I got. I, I, I'd be hiding this from people. This is crazy that you just asked this. I hide the fact that I love Sonic and Final Fantasy and Pokemon for people.

[Lyle]

What's. Why, why, what's wrong with.

[Jarquius]

Because you get bullied? I'm. I'm a grown ass man.

[Lyle]

I don't. How can I. How old are you?

[Jarquius]

27. Oh, no, not 27. 37. I'm so sorry. I don't know. I'm so sorry, dude, I love. I'm so sorry. I'm good.

[Lyle]

Dude, I love. I don't. I love Super Mario and Nintendo. I'm. I'm a adult. I don't like. Why is it bad?

[Jarquius]

You're not scared to tell your peers that?

[Lyle]

No, it's. I, why would I care?

[Jarquius]

Yeah. Have you ever been bullied? Like, you're so cool. Like, I feel like that's. Don't say that. That's dismissive to say you're so cool. That's extremely dismissive. No, but you do the same.

[Lyle]

But, but you like. I don't somewhere a lot. Jerkwavius. Some. I can tell. Like, you keep. Dude, Joe, I know this is like, this is easier said than done, but this is like a mental conditioning thing where, like, I can tell that every time you say you, you edit as you speak. Like you edit.

[Jarquius]

My God.

[Lyle]

But you and I, it's. I know it Takes a long time to unlearn it.

[Jarquius]

But like I. I adapt because I don't know how to be.

[Lyle]

It's like dude, it bro, it's okay to just exist as you are. It's okay. It's okay. It's really okay.

[Jarquius]

I'm scared. I just want to be low. What more does he say,

[Lyle]

bro? Just exists. It's okay.

[Jarquius]

It's hard to be loved. Do you. Are you loved? Are you. Can I ask you that? Are you loved?

[Lyle]

I think so.

[Jarquius]

Why do you say you think so? You're amazing to me and to my love and to many people around the world to say you think.

[Zelda]

Why do you think I think?

[Lyle]

Well, I. I don't. I mainly go to. I mean when I think about like if I'm loved, I mean I think about like. I think about like my parents and my friends and stuff, you know.

[Jarquius]

Do your parents love you, if I may ask?

[Lyle]

Yeah, my parents love me. Yeah.

[Jarquius]

What's your favorite holiday with your parents when you can hang out with your parents for a holiday?

[Lyle]

Christmas.

[Zelda]

Me too.

[Jarquius]

I wish I could watch the Griswold. What is it? National Lampoon with my family and your family together.

[Lyle]

I'm so serious.

[Jarquius]

I'm so. I. When I say I'm so serious, like is there anyone cross path with you someday?

[Lyle]

Dude, I'm gonna have a dream later tonight. That would be so weird. Like I'm gonna have a dream that like both of my. That my entire family and your entire family are like watching a movie together. What movie did you say?

[Jarquius]

Can we please. The National Lampoons with Marty Griswold. The Christmas Vacation or even. That sounds like my favorite. Oh my God. What is your favorite movie? I need to know.

[Lyle]

That sounds like something. This sounds like full sale or some. This sounds like an event that will take place in the back rooms for sure. You, me, my. My mom and my dad who I don't know when the last time they were in a room together but is

[Jarquius]

there any way I could like message you to like. Like I'm extremely serious. You made.

[Lyle]

I talked to you.

[Jarquius]

I've webbed, I've laughed and I wept.

[Lyle]

I have to be very honest. I don't think there is. I don't believe it's within the confines of reality that our entire families will get together and watch National.

[Jarquius]

Never say never.

[Lyle]

But I. It might occur in a dream. Jerquavius, are you still there?

[Jarquius]

Hey. A dream is a dream. A dream is a spectrum. But guess what? What? I see when I told you I want to See the Odyssey with you. It took a dis. Odysseus what, 15 to 20 years to get back home. And he still did it. Even. He still did it. Matt Damon's playing Odysseus. Can we go see that? Can I hope you do a. Like you have to go see the Odyssey of me at least. There's got to be some way that the. The universe brings us together so we can see the Odyssey.

[Lyle]

Wait, okay, Jack, Ravi said I have so many. First of all, I have a lot of things to say to you. I cannot promise you that I will go see the Odyssey with you, but I will say this. The. Our Jack Ravis, you just mentioned the universe bringing us together. The universe has brought us together. I. I can't guarantee the future. I can't guarantee the best. We're together right now in this very moment. Charavius, you're already thinking about new moments. The universe has brought us together in this current moment. Jar Wavi. I'm yelling. I should. I'm in a.

[Jarquius]

You're absolutely right. And I'm like my watered up together

[Lyle]

in this very moment. Okay, so listen.

[Jarquius]

I can't believe you're talking to me right now.

[Lyle]

I cannot promise that. I can't promise if we'll see a movie later, but I. We can be in this exact moment together. I will promise you.

[Jarquius]

You're like. I love Greek mythology. You're like Hermes. You're the Hermes of Greek mythology. I'm gonna have the wherewithal of your voice. You're so Hermes, you make everything easy. You're like, hey, yeah, you're. You're swift. You have the gift of gab.

[Lyle]

You have the honor of boy with a beard. Hermes myth.

[Jarquius]

No, we're gonna do. Or young Hermes. We're gonna do young Hermes with the talaria, which are the shoes with the wing. Oh, my God. Wait.

[Lyle]

Hermes is an Olympic Olympian deity who considers.

[Jarquius]

Yeah. Are you thinking of Dionysus? You're thinking of Dionysus.

[Lyle]

He is the protector of human heralds, travelers, thieves, merchants.

[Jarquius]

Yes, travelers, thieves and gamblers and all that lives. All that people that have the voice. Your voice changes the world. Do you realize?

[Lyle]

You're a nice. You're. You're. You're. You're a sweet guy. You're a sweet guy.

[Jarquius]

So you. My tear. My eyes are watering and.

[Lyle]

Oh, my God.

[Jarquius]

I think I. Thank you. I think.

[Lyle]

Thank you, Jerkavius. Thank you, Jerky. I feel like I'm on Molly. Right?

[Jarquius]

What is your. No, I. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Lyle]

Are you on Molly right now? You sound like you're on Molly right now.

[Jarquius]

Can I tell you what I'm on right now? Can I tell you what I'm on right now?

[Lyle]

What are you on? Are you on Molly right now?

[Jarquius]

You gotta guess. It ain't Molly. It ain't Molly, but it's white. It comes from Colombia.

[Lyle]

You're on cocaine right now.

[Jarquius]

I mean, it is Jesus's birth or rebirth. It's Jesus, really.

[Lyle]

I don't. I'm getting. I've. I haven't done a lot of. I've done a little cocaine, but I'm a cook.

[Jarquius]

You'd understand this. I'm like the. The bear be working in kitchen. Work, work, work, work. And. And I'm not saying that's an excuse, but it happened to be one of those nights where it's like, okay, emotions are there, and I gotta be honest, and. And I love and. And I. And I honor you. And I'm like, you know, keep it. Keep it a being. Keep it real.

[Lyle]

And thanks.

[Jarquius]

I am. You remind me like a protagonist from Final Fantasy, like the main character, dude.

[Lyle]

What? Why?

[Jarquius]

I'm like, damn, I'm from the kingdom. No, your. Your main character is. You know, in Final Fantasy, there's a Frogius.

[Lyle]

You're the. There's no main character. You're the main character. There's no main character.

[Jarquius]

No, I'll never be the main character appears.

[Lyle]

Yes, you would. There's no such thing as the main character.

[Jarquius]

You're the main character. You made me feel like the main character. Thank you.

[Lyle]

I'm the main character in my own. Why? I actually. I don't know if I was gonna say I'm the main character in my own life, which actually, I do think at this stage in my life, that is true. Actually, I was gonna say.

[Jarquius]

What is the purpose of yours? I want to know everything about you. I want to know what you want to have right now. Do you want a Corvette with a piggy fin like this?

[Lyle]

You want to know what I want to. You want to know what I want to have?

[Jarquius]

I. I want to know.

[Lyle]

You want to know what? You want to know what I want. You want to know what I want to have right now?

[Jarquius]

I want to know this right now. So passionately, while I'm crying and tears are rolling down my face like Forrest Gump.

[Lyle]

I will tell you what I want to have right now. I want to have a life that feels really light. I want to have a life that feels light. Yet also I want to have a life that feels Light, but also quite full and productive. I would like to have a life that feels light, yet full and productive. I don't know if that's. I. I'm. I'm. I've talked about this on the other podcast. I'm so close to that. I always feel. I'm so close, but I also feel like I'm so far. But I'm also.

[Jarquius]

Wait, you gotta understand, my idiot. You said light. But what is. When you say light, do you just want to be away from. Or not?

[Lyle]

No, by light, I mean like.

[Jarquius]

Like you ought to be left alone. And.

[Lyle]

No, it's like. Well, I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't feel particularly alone these days. But by light, I mean, like, I don't know, life. Like, there's a lot of aspects of life that feel, like, heavy, and it, like, feel, like, great. You ever feel like. I mean, you. You ever feel like a great weight of something? You just feel like life has a lot of weight? You're like, oh, I'm always.

[Jarquius]

Every day.

[Lyle]

Every day.

[Jarquius]

Yeah, every day.

[Lyle]

Yeah, of course. Yeah, every day. And so.

[Jarquius]

But do you fear something when you say that? It makes me get. It gives me the impression for my little p. Homer Simpson brain. That's a little peanut. And I hear that, for lack of my better words, it's like, you're so great to me in mine and thine, but I. You have fears. You have sadness.

[Lyle]

Yeah, of course.

[Jarquius]

Why?

[Lyle]

Why?

[Jarquius]

Yeah, think about this. The reason I asked you that not to be disrespectful.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Jarquius]

I don't care why. Is because I, I. It's so disrespectful to say, I believe in my brain that you. You've made it, or you're. You made it to a point where you can cultivate greatness and cultivate it and cultivate it and grow and grow. You found a formula and a platform where it's appropriate and, And. And. And rightful and honest. You know what I mean? It. It's. It's yours. You know, like Brad Pitt said on Troy, it's yours. Take it serious.

[Lyle]

I have a response to that. I see what you're saying. And by the way, that has been like, what you're. What you're talking about has been enormously helpful. I was never. It's been enormously helpful, but it hasn't infinitely solved all of my problems or, like, gotten me away from the things that feel heavy about my life.

[Jarquius]

What am I allowed to ask? What's heavy about your life? Like I, I don't, I don't have the honor. And you know what? I don't. It's disrespectful for me to even ask, I don't know about my hat and take my hat off to you. What makes you, that's not right. What is your experience? And I'll say this, I think that'll make me understand you, what you're saying.

[Lyle]

Your biggest, My biggest fear.

[Jarquius]

My biggest fear is being in the middle of the ocean, in the middle of the night or in space, floating. Those are my biggest fears.

[Lyle]

I'm gonna go ahead and. Can I take yours? That sounds horrifying. That's the most horrified thing I can think of.

[Jarquius]

Yeah, imagine being in the middle of the ocean. You're in the, the Atlantic Ocean, the middle of night, just floating. Is a mermaid going to come touch by feet? I don't even know if mermaids exist, but who's to say they don't? Is it like it, it, it's the unknown. My dad and them say this. So imagine having a, a parent that prays to the east, which is Mecca, and another parent that is a Southern Baptist, tambourine playing, soul shooting, snake holding, Kojic Christian, you know what I mean? So to see them debate what existence of the end is, makes you wonder. So I was like, wait, y' all love each other, but y' all hate each other and debate about this? And I'm a kid, I'm like, damn. So wait, what is real? What? Your God is not your God and your existence is not your existence. So what do I do? And I get with and bully and in the midst of all that, I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

[Lyle]

Jarquius.

[Jarquius]

Yes,

[Lyle]

Jacquevis. I've really enjoyed talking to you. I, I, I hope that this.

[Jarquius]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This was an amazingly amazing conversation and I deserve to have your, your and in your, your space and everything, but I hope to see the Odyssey with you or some movie with you. Seriously, when we cross path, and we cross paths, we're gonna hop on a train. We're gonna go to Portland from somewhere to somewhere or from Phoenix to somewhere. And we're gonna be tray punks together.

[Lyle]

Thank you, Jacobius Jovius. I'm rooting for.

[Jarquius]

I love you.

[Lyle]

I love you too, man.

[Jarquius]

I love you.

[Lyle]

I'm rooting for you. I'm rooting for you. Jarquavius

[Zelda]

is chilling. I'm gonna say bye to YouTube because I really love you and thanks, man. I'm very glad you got to talk to him. Like I said, he crying. He's crying right now. But I'm very glad you get to talk to him. And I think he needed that, actually. And I'm very grateful that you got all that out out of him.

[Lyle]

Wow, that's.

[Zelda]

No, I'm very grateful, too. Yeah.

[Lyle]

I appreciate you guys. This is sweet. This is nice. This is nice.

[Zelda]

Oh, yeah. Blur any of the names in cities

[Jarquius]

that we've mentioned on Insta.

[Zelda]

No. Yeah, but I've. I've met you and I've, you know, I talked to you and we're gonna see you on tour.

[Lyle]

Oh, cool. Oh, my God. Dude. If I. Oh, my God. All right. Yeah, I'm excited. I will. I. I don't remember names, but I will remember Jarquavius.

[Jarquius]

Jarquius.

[Zelda]

No, no. Well, that's. Okay. Yeah, that's not.

[Lyle]

I won't remember. This is actually. This is the. This is the rare phone call where if someone came, like, okay, so sometimes, like, someone can't be like, I'm Nick. Do you remember me? And I'm like, no. But they'll be like, I remember me. We talked about this.

[Jarquius]

Or whatever.

[Lyle]

And I'll remember. But this is the kind of thing where if you. This is the kind of thing where if. If Jarquius comes up to me and says I was on a lot of drugs and crying and we talked, I'm going to be like, I actually don't remember that conversation. Had a lot of those. But if he says to me, I'm Jarquius, I'll be like, I totally remember. So it's the reverse of that. No situation.

[Zelda]

Oh, no, I definitely know that. Yeah.

[Lyle]

No, yeah, dude. Take care. Take care. Take care of this young man. All right. Take care of this young man. Let this young man. Then. Take care of yourself. Take care of yourself. Take care of yourself.

[Zelda]

For God's sake. I just want to let you know that I love you and I listen to you. Everett and I have your plushie.

[Lyle]

Oh, thanks, man.

[Zelda]

Love you, dog.

[Jarquius]

Plushy hard.

[Lyle]

Thank you, guys. Thank you, guys. You guys.

[Zelda]

And we will be seeing you. Yeah, me too. Thank you for the talk.

[Jarquius]

Oh, my God.

[Zelda]

And you'll. We'll be at the show. Okay, cool.

[Lyle]

I'm excited to meet you guys. All right, cool.

[Zelda]

Obviously, you know what city, but if you could blur out our names, and I'm pretty sure he said his real name and one of the things.

[Lyle]

Okay, yeah. All right. We'll keep Zelda and Jarquavius.

[Zelda]

Yes, thank you.

[Lyle]

Okay.

[Jarquius]

All right.

[Zelda]

All right. Love you. Dog, I appreciate you. We listen all the time. I listen all the time anyway, but thank you guys. Thanks. Good night.

[Jarquius]

Have a good one.

[Zelda]

Love you, Lyle.

[Lyle]

Good night.

[Zelda]

Good forever.

[Jarquius]

Bye.

[Lyle]

Bye. That really felt like I was on Molly for the past hour. That was. Give it up for Jarquius. Give it up for Jarquius. Give it up for, for Zelda. Jarquius really kind of came in mythologized because for the first 20 minutes we only heard murmurs of Jarquabius. We didn't, we heard descriptions of Jarquius, but we didn't really get to meet Jarquavius. And then we met Jarquius, talked to him for about 40 minutes. And we learned so much from Jarquius. We connected with Jarquius. We saw some of ourselves in Jarquius and it was, it was a wild ride. It was a wild ride. Thank you again, Jarquavius. Thank you again, Zelda.

[Jarquius]

And now, insights into TurboTax business.

[Podcast Host/Announcer]

Jeresha, you went from engineering to selling $19 PDFs on Facebook Live and now you're a full on business coach. What made you want to leave engineering and start your own business?

[Jeresha]

I loved my career, but somewhere along the way I realized that the American dream I had been sold of get the good degree, get the good job with good benefits and stay there for 30 years just wasn't my dream. I grew up watching what happens when people don't have money to choose something different. They stay in relationships, jobs or situations that weren't good for them, maybe longer than they should because financial dependence took away those options. I started this business on the side to give myself more optionality and more choice. And what I discovered was that the same skills that made me a really great engineer, the systems thinking, the problem solving, that really translated well into entrepreneurship. I just had to learn how to apply them differently.

[Podcast Host/Announcer]

How does working with a TurboTax expert fit into this bigger idea of not trying to business hack your way through everything alone?

[Jeresha]

I think that when we think about business hacking, it's really just a sophisticated way of describing what happens when someone is too proud, too overwhelmed, or too resource constrained to just ask for real help. And I get it. I think all of us have been there at one point or another. What I have learned is that the fastest path forward almost always runs through someone who has already been where you're trying to go in. An actual expertise expert with real experience in your specific situation. And that's what TurboTax experts for business really allows you to have. They aren't generalists, they're matched to your industry. They have an average of 13 years of experience and they prepare, sign and file your taxes. You're available to them year round. Like it really gives you this peace of mind and assurance knowing that what needs to be done that is a business requirement for you to have is being done properly and being done well.

[Podcast Host/Announcer]

How can leaning on a turbocharger tax expert help them feel like they don't have to navigate all the complicated stuff alone?

[Jeresha]

I would recommend someone to open up a separate bank account that is specifically for savings for taxes. I would also recommend that they go to turbotax.com business to connect with a

[Jarquius]

TurboTax expert giving you the inside tips on your small business taxes.

[Lyle]

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[Podcast Host/Announcer]

Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio that's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, llc. SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete Disclosures available at public.comdisclosures hey folks,

[Lyle]

welcome back to the podcast. It's me. It's Lyle the Gecko guy. That was a very. That was an interesting call. That was an intense call. That was an enjoyable call. I'm curious what you guys thought of that call. Let me know in the comments. I read the comments. Shouldn't read the comments. It's not good to read the comments. If you have anything that you do on the Internet, or rather, if you just live your life, you shouldn't read the comments. You should just live your life. But I do it anyway because I have ADHD and I need hits of dopamine at all times. And when I see that there's a comment on something, I get a little thing and I read the comment. And then that takes me into another thought loop spiral thing. It's a whole thing. Whatever. Read. Make a comment. I like comments. I'll read comments. I don't care. Even if it's a bad. Even if you hate me. And that's the comment. I still want to read it. I'm still curious. But I shouldn't be. I should just live my life. Okay, anyway, I'm here because I'm gonna do Geck mail. I'm gonna end the episode by reading just a couple of viewer mail things. And if you want to send a viewer mail to possibly be read at some point, you can Send one to therapygeckomailmail.com if you sent one already. Like, if you sent one like four months ago and I still haven't read it, send it again. Let's see what happens. But anyway, let's. Let's read a couple Geck mails to send us home, huh? This is from Chris Subject line Starting a Beyblade community in my city. Geck, One of the greatest lessons I've learned from your podcast is if you want something, you have to go out and get it. Nice. It's this lesson that pushed me to contact a local game store to see if I can organize a Beyblade tournament. I just want to thank you for pushing me to come out of my comfort zone and to let everyone who liked Beyblade as a kid know that it's back and better than ever. Geck bless Chris. He sent me a photo of himself with a tattoo. Oh, I. I wish. Chris, this email. You're giving me blue balls with this email. I want more information about this, this Beyblade tournament. Did you. Do you do the Beyblade tournament or do you just reach out? Send me another email, Chris. I want. Give me pictures of the Beyblade tournament. Tell me who won. Give me, Give me some more information on this, Chris. I want. I want to hear more about this Beyblade. Beyblade tournament. It sounds awesome. I used to love Beyblades when I was a kid and I. Apparently they are back. That's the thing is like the wor people are getting so existential about the fate of the world that we're all regressing back to our childlike states and getting really into things like Beyblade, which I think is kind of sick. Alright, this is from Alicia. Subject line, Scared to live in a school bus. Hi Lyle. Me and my husband are about to step way out of our comfort zone and enter a new life of adventure that we've always dreamed of. We're doing this by renovating a full sized school bus to live in and leaving behind the island and that we both grew up on to travel the country. It's exciting and awesome, but it's starting to scare us. We haven't finished the bus yet and it will still take another year or so to do, but it's going to cost us at least 80,000 Canadian dollars, probably more like 100,000. We also just had our first child and it's beginning to set in that we will be removing him from the community that we've built and moving away from both of our families to live a life of uncertainty and be broke. Lol. But we're doing it. Uh, I wanted to email this to you because I thought you would appreciate that we are taking the leap and getting out there in the universe. Um, we also need all the encouragement that we can get because some days we get so incredibly nervous and worried about the insecurity and potential danger that is out there in the great unknown. Especially the closer we get to making it happen. Thanks for reading this. If you do, maybe I'll update you someday on how it goes. Okay, I have thoughts about this. My automatic thought is, by the way, I don't know. I appreciate that people are sending me emails saying that they're getting encouraged by the show. I'm glad that the show has encouraged people to do things, but I do think that it's good to I got. I like being cautiously optimistic. Right. So listen, you just had a kid. So like that is a huge financial commitment. It's also kind of a thing where like, I mean look, I'm not one to tell anyone how to raise their kid. I feel like me personally, I'd like if I had a kid at least like, I mean at least at a certain point in their lives. I think a kid kind of needs like a stable environment and a stable community to be a part of. Like you know, I would have fucking hated like, like, I don't know, like it's one thing like to move. I don't know how old your kid is. It's one thing to like move around kindergartens or whatever. If as long as your kid is like there on the first day of first grade until fifth grade and then you know, maybe they'll make friends. Everyone's gonna go to the same middle school. Like I don't you want to create a stable environment for your kid. But if this is something where it's like we have a kid and we know that doing this school bus thing is not going to financially bankrupt us from taking care of our. And we also know that like ah, we'll hang out and like dick around for like a year. We'll still be able to take care of our kid. This, that, the other thing then. Okay, but let me, But I don't, I don't know. I. I mean live your life. I, I think if you didn't, if you didn't have a kid, this would be a lot easier I would say. But like, okay, you're spending 80,000 Canadian dollars. What is that in, what is that in real money? USD to CAD. Let's see, that's about $57,000. So basically that's the amount of money it would cost for you to like put a baham down on like an actual house. No, I'm be totally honest. I don't, I don't think I fully, I don't think I fully sign off on this. I don't think I fully sign off on this. Because if you're going to have a kid like it's one thing to like be like broke and like dick around and it's just you. But like if you have a kid you want to kind of have savings and make sure that the kids in a stable environment and stuff. So I don't know if this is a good idea. I'm not saying that. Also like why I have to be honest. At least a lot of this stuff doesn't make sense to me, right? Like, okay, you wanna. Okay, a lot of this stuff doesn't make sense to me for a lot of reasons. I mean, whatever. You already started building the bus, so none of this matters. But these are just my thoughts. If you have never left your hometown, you can do it for less than $60,000, right? Like, go on a vacation, rent a bus, move to a different city. But, like, I don't know. I don't know about spending all 60 grand on the bus. I mean, maybe that. Maybe this, right? Let's say your kid is like, fuck it. All right, how about. All right, how about this? Here's what I'm thinking. How about this? Your kid is like, if he's less than 1 years old, when does he start? Like, kindergarten. How old is a. How old's a kid? And when he start. How old? When do kids start kindergarten? Okay, five. All right, Take the kid to fuck around the country for five years, but then when it's time for kindergarten, like, he's gotta be in a real place, you know? And also make sure that you can feed the kid. Like, I don't. I. I'm all for. I'm for full sending it on certain things, but that's a lot of money to throw into this bus. I just hope you thought about. I just hope you thought about the decision before you did it. You know, I want to clarify. I'm for taking leaps and getting out there, but I don't think. I'm not. I'm not automatically for. I'm automatically for taking a leap and getting out there that doesn't cost $60,000. We are very nervous about the insecurity and potential danger that is out there in the great unknown. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if this is the best financial decision or best family decision, but it could be. I mean. I mean, whatever. You have the bus, so you already did it. So you're doing it. I hope it works out. I mean, you can always sell the bus if it doesn't work out. Yeah, whatever. You can sell the bus if it doesn't work out. Sorry, this is probably not the response to this email that you wanted, but I. This is. These are my gut feelings about this decision.

[Jarquius]

Whatever.

[Lyle]

It'll probably work out. You guys, listen, if anything, a great Instagram page is gonna come out of this, and that's what really matters. At the end of the day, we're gonna get a great Instagram page of you and your husband and your kid and, like, a bunch of you can, you can put sponsored links to like fairy lights and stuff. That's all that matters. Good luck, Alicia. Let me know how it goes. Message me again in five years and let me know if it worked out. I am curious. Okay, this is from. I feel so bad. I know that woman's gonna read this or listen to this and this won't. It was not the response she wanted, but those were my gut feelings. Okay, this is from Sam. We'll read one more thoughts after my first big solo trip. Hey, Geck. You can call me Sam. I'm a 22 year old college student who just solo backpacked around southern Spain. Before the trip, I was nervous to go. It felt like a big experiment. This was not my first time abroad, but the whole idea of being alone for two weeks gave my fears of feeling lonely and isolated gave me fears of feeling lonely and isolated. But I was wrong. I quickly learned that solo traveling in hostels is the easiest way to be introduced to new waves of interesting people. It's so easy to start up a conversation and learn about a fellow traveler. I'm writing this email to convince anyone in the audience to try solo traveling in hostels. I like to think listeners of Therapy Gecko are inherently interested in other people. And I personally loved wandering around beautiful Spanish cities during the day and hearing people's life experiences at night. That's all. I'll see everyone around the universe. Thank you, Sam. Okay, see, this is an example of a full send that I completely am on board with. Listen, you can stay in a hostel for like, you know, less than 20 bucks in a lot of places in the world. I'm all for a $20 full send. I'm less for a $60,000 full send. But I like where Sam is coming from on this. I think, yeah, well, that's, that's how, that's kind of how I first got in. I mean, my, my whole thing of the gecko is like, you know, running around and connecting with people. And a lot of that really first started for me when I was about a little younger than Sam doing solo backpacking shit and staying in hostels and talking to people. So I think that's a great way to. Way to connect with other folks. You know, I'm totally on full sending, getting over fears of being lonely. And also, you shouldn't even be afraid of it. Like when you do solo traveling, like, being lonely is probably part of it. I try not to do. Like, when I was younger, I really liked solo traveling. I'm kind of, I'm a little over it now, but I'm happy I had those experiences because they made me. I feel like they had a good impact on my life. They're definitely part of what made me like, interested in like exploring the world and connecting with people and stuff. So I'm. I'm with you, Sam. I'm glad that you had a. Had a good experience doing that. I highly recommend if you have the means to. To do a little solo hostile travel. Okay. Should we do one more? Should we do one more? Okay. This is from subject line Finding connection in the mundane. Hey Lyle, I got tickets for your show in Vancouver and I'm excited to see it. If you read this on the pod, please call me Jamie. Oh, fuck yeah. Thanks for coming to the show in Vancouver. I'm excited for that. That'll be in what, June? I think that'll be sick. Okay. Lately I've been on a mental health kick. Finally, at 26 years old, I'm accepting that maybe I didn't have a great childhood. And certain events have had a larger impact on me than I originally thought. Between my therapist and your podcast, I'm glad to learn I am not alone in my struggles and things will improve with time and effort. Fuck yeah. Loneliness seems to be a big problem for a lot of people, myself included. Connecting with other real humans can be hard sometimes, but you can find little bits of human connection in the day to day if you keep your head up. You don't even need to speak to have a connection. I have an example from earlier today. I planned to spend most of today inside my apartment cleaning alone. I was feeling sad thinking about being alone all day while walking down the 11 floors of my apartment on my way to throw out some trash. When I got to the ground floor, I saw another guy also holding a bag of trash. We were both wearing flip flops with no socks, cozy pants, jacket over a T shirt and a baseball cap. In this moment, I felt a little less alone and I smiled. Maybe later I'll take a walk to the grocery store and talk to the cashier about the weather. Geck bless Jamie. Thank you, Jamie. I've. I'm not gonna go on a. Whatever. Maybe I'll go on a rant. But you know, I used to be really, really lonely too. If you wanna. If you want there's. I was so lonely that Vice made a documentary about how lonely I was. If you want to go it's. If I was thinking about that the other day. Yeah. If you want to go on YouTube and search therapy Gecko Vice. They made a video about me. And it's just, it's a lot of. It's just me talking about how lonely I am. That was, that was a few years ago and things have changed because I've gotten better at figuring out how to like be part of a greater community. It's the. I don't shut up about it on here because I just feel like it's, it's a problem that a lot of people have that I just feel like I've experienced and like have found an answer to because like, I don't know. You should, you should try to find the connection in like your day to day life. But you should have, you should have some kind of like rock solid core foundation of community or like other people who are like recurringly in your life. And there's a lot of different ways to do that by you know, joining some of the scenes or communities that exist wherever you are. So I hope you're able to do that. Jamie, in addition to making eye contact with the other people who are throwing out the trash. I think that was a decent geck mail. I hope, I hope it was. I hope the person who's renting, who's buying that bus figures that out. I hope they're gonna be okay. Let me know what you guys think about the bus in the comments. Let me know about. Just write stuff in the comments. I'll read it. I want to know what people think about the bus in the comments. I want to know what people think about all the emails, all the callers, all the everything. That's what the comment section is for. That's it for the podcast folks. Please go to therapy. Gecko tour.com I'm coming all over the place. I would love to see you guys at these shows. Go to patreon.com lyle forever if you want to get ad free episodes of the podcast and get bonus episodes of the podcast. I'm still working on my travel documentaries. I'm gonna keep making them all year. I've been having some hiccups. I, I'm, I'm, I'm dying like so close to having a well oiled system of getting everything out there but my, my, my Ukraine video hopefully will be out by the end of the month. And then I'm working on some videos here in Japan. I'm thinking about going to Somaliland. Does anyone know anything about Somaliland? I don't really want to go to Somalia. Cause Somalia like a lot of the point of these video, not like the point of all the videos. But like with the Iraq thing, it was like going to a place and being like, hey, there's like cool stuff here. With Somalia, I feel like it would be no, this place is adequately as dangerous as people say it would be. But Somaliland, I heard it's like a different kind of place. So I don't know if anyone knows anything about Somaliland, let me know. That's. That's how I'm gonna end this podcast. Okay, thank you guys. Geck bless. See you next time. But he's not really an expert. Quitting nicotine isn't easy, but is better done with support. Having a community to lean on can help make it feel more manageable. X Program by Truth Initiative is a free quitting tool that can increase your odds of quitting by up to 40%. You'll get 24. 7 advice via text message and community support via from people who know what you're going through. That kind of backup can really help change stick. So quit smarter, not harder with X program. Visit exprogram.com to learn more and join for free. When you're ready at Applebee's Drinks tastes

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