Therapy Gecko – "I NEGLECTED MY LIFE FOR MY MUSICAL"

Date: October 15, 2025
Host: Lyle (Therapy Gecko)
Podcast: iHeartPodcasts

Main Theme & Purpose

In this episode, Therapy Gecko (Lyle) talks live with callers about the aftermath of pouring oneself into a passion project—a community theatre musical—and the ripple effects it has on friendships, work, and mental health. The episode also explores transitions into adulthood, purpose, and finding meaning through creative outlets, as well as the surprising comfort to be found in mundane life moments and friendships.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Connor: The Director's Aftermath

• Background: Connor, 20, calls in from a Buc-ee's parking lot in Alabama after just completing a year-and-a-half stint directing "Little Shop of Horrors" at his local community theater.
• Post-Project Letdown (05:02–09:42)
  • Connor describes the immense dedication: "I've been away from the house for pretty much 17 hours a day just, you know, working and then working on this passion project." (06:42)
  • After the final show, he experiences a deep "ego death": "I've still got Little Shop, I've still got Little Chop, and now that's done. And like, I don't know, like, I experienced a whole ego death in the middle of preparing for this show." (05:29)
  • Admits to post-show depression: “It hit me hard last night… I sobbed into his (lead actor’s) shoulder for like 10 minutes.” (07:57)
• Work Frustrations (09:42–12:52)
  • Shares frustration with a construction job that’s become exploitative: “If I take off a single day of work, I forfeit my base pay for the week… This amounted to me making $272 for four nine-hour days of a physical labor job last week.” (10:13)
  • The contrast between creative fulfillment and wage labor dissatisfaction is clear.

2. Art vs. Survival: The Double Life (12:13–18:12)

• Connor balances his theater passion with a blue-collar day job, choosing jobs that leave evenings free for creative pursuits: “If it’s something that leaves me room in the evenings for theater, that’s what I want to do… But now I’m getting contractually fucked, as you put it.” (12:13)
• Community theater is revered as a cross-section of real life: “Unlike the like, higher levels or higher quote unquote levels of like, theater... you have like 50 people sometimes showing up and doing this beautiful performing art from all different walks of life… and it’s such a special thing. It’s really, really important to me." (18:12)
• Connor's next steps: acting in local productions, striving for performance roles like Plankton in “SpongeBob” and participating in a Christmas variety show. (16:10)

3. Sean: On the Edge of Adulthood (20:12–31:00)

• Background: Sean, 18, Connor’s close friend and fellow theater participant, joins the call.
  • Recently accepted to University of South Alabama to study nursing, aspiring to be a nurse anesthetist.
  • Discusses the weight of leaving home, fear of debt, and the seriousness of his ambitions:
    “It’s scary overall, just the fact that I’m not a kid anymore… It's kind of stressing me out, I have to be honest.” (21:24)
  • Explores feelings of missing the ‘teenage experience,’ but is ultimately content:
    “I was sitting in my house just relaxing. I wasn’t very stressed out about not being like a hair society or anything.” (24:46)
  • Expresses desire to balance ambition in medicine with a love of music as a hobby:
    “I really enjoy…writing and playing and all that stuff. I love learning about the instruments. I just…it fascinates me in a way that not much else does.” (26:54)
• Friendship & Admiration
  • Sean credits Connor as an older brother and source of inspiration:
    “He’s more like a brother to me than just a friend…seeing him able to do that really helped me realize that I did like music a lot, as well as anesthesia…” (27:41)

4. Life Philosophy, Dreams, and Wholesome Vibes (32:15–39:00)

• Both young men share low-key aspirations focused on meaning, not status—working any job to fund creative pursuits would be fine.
• Connor: “Honestly, I’d be perfectly content to live out the rest of my life as I am right now. Just working some job to pay the bills and then doing my creative stuff with whatever time’s left over.” (32:42)
• Friendship and music—Connor shouts out his band, Cair Paravel (Instagram: @cairearaveltheband), named after the castle in "Narnia." (36:44)
• Lyle (Therapy Gecko) reflects on the wholesomeness and normality of their dreams, “This might be…one of the most wholesome conversations I think I’ve had on this show recently.” (33:51)

5. Ashlyn: Past Trauma & Building Independence (43:36–57:52)

• Background: Ashlyn, 21, calls in to reflect on the past two years following the suicide of her ex-boyfriend, which led to profound personal challenges.
• Shares using hard work—three jobs, including working at Allstate—as a means of coping:
  “I have three jobs. Just because I’m going through a lot right now, and you got to kind of, like, work a lot just to…I don’t know, to get your mind off shit.” (45:15)
• Recounts a surreal experience dating someone who reminded her heavily of her late ex—looks, voice, and personality—causing emotional turbulence and eventually stepping back from dating:
  “The person who he tried to convince me that he was is the person that my new boyfriend, like, actually is.” (53:08)
• Now focused on financial independence and self-betterment:
  “I just got accepted to get my insurance license with Allstate…I’m gonna be on a track to make stupid money.” (55:32)
• Lyle affirms her progress and encourages her self-reliance, “You’ve been through some fucking shit, man. I’m happy for you, Ash…You’ll be okay.” (55:43)

6. Reflections, Viewer Mail & Closing Thought (61:48–79:00)

• Lyle spends the final segment reading emails from listeners about life choices (dropping out of law school, overcoming substance abuse, travel anxiety), offering reassurance, encouragement, and light-hearted commentary.
• Reinforces the value of doing what you love:
  “You only get one life, you know, you may as well…If you have the ability to, you might as well try to do things that you like.” (62:43)
• Final thought: mundane, wholesome moments—like a conversation in a Buc-ee’s parking lot—are just as “alive” as the wildest life experiences:
  “Sometimes life is just sitting with your homie in a parking lot at a Buc-ee’s or it’s eating chicken. You know, that’s life.” (62:43)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On post-project depression:
  “I've still got Little Shop, I've still got Little Chop, and now that's done. And like, I don't know, like, I experienced a whole ego death in the middle of preparing for this show.” – Connor (05:29)
• Wholesome friendship:
  “He’s more like a brother to me than just a friend. Seeing him able to do that really helped me realize that I did like music a lot, as well as anesthesia…” – Sean (27:41)
• Life advice from the gecko:
  “I think that you can live a life that's abundant, so to speak, where you can…achieve all your dreams. You can figure out whether or not you can later, but you might as well live now as if you can.” – Therapy Gecko (29:45)
• On community theater:
  “Community theater is so beautiful to me…you have like 50 people doing this beautiful performing art from all different walks of life…It's really, really important to me.” – Connor (18:12)
• Post-trauma recovery:
  “I just got accepted to get my insurance license with Allstate…I’m gonna be on a track to make stupid money.” – Ashlyn (55:32)
• Final affirmation:
  “Sometimes we get into crazy, but other times we’ll just have a chill conversation…I like this…we just get to meet you and me, the listeners. We get to meet just a wholesome dude in the parking lot of a Buc-ee's in Alabama. God damn it. The world is okay. Everything’s gonna be fine.” – Therapy Gecko (40:26)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Introduction (Ads/Intros skipped)
• Connor's call: Directing aftermath & work (02:19–16:05)
• Connor & Sean on theater and adult life, community (16:05–32:42)
• Joint reflection and friendship chat (32:42–39:00)
• Ashlyn's call: Grief, self-reinvention, relationships (43:34–57:52)
• Lyle reads viewer mail: Law school dropout, parenting, and more (61:48–79:00)

Original Language and Tone

The episode is raw, conversational, and sincere. Lyle’s gecko persona supplies dry humor and warmth without trivializing serious feelings. The callers are young, open, and self-deprecating, turning what could be heavy topics into moments of shared human vulnerability.

Concluding Thought

A gentle, feel-good episode about youth, aftermaths, and the ways real meaning emerges in life's most ordinary corners. Whether striving for creative dreams, surviving regular jobs, mourning losses, or simply sharing a meal, purpose is found not just in grand ambitions but in the comfort of good friends and honest talk.

Notable Social Mention:
Follow Connor’s band on Instagram: @cairearaveltheband

“Go drink some water.” — Ashlyn (57:46)