“I PISS PEOPLE OFF”

Summary

Therapy Gecko – “I PISS PEOPLE OFF”

Hosted by Dick (Lyle Forever) | Date: November 23, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Therapy Gecko (Dick/Lyle Forever) travels through a series of complex, vulnerable, and sometimes meandering conversations with three callers: Jaden, Tyler, and Deja. The central theme explores the struggles of expressing oneself authentically—sometimes to the point of “pissing people off”—and the ongoing search for self-awareness, personal fulfillment, and kindness in relationships with oneself and others. The episode dives into neurodivergence, boundaries, career sacrifice, and resilience amidst abrupt life changes.

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[02:12] Caller 1: Jaden – "Understanding Myself (and Pissing People Off)"

Key Topics & Discussion Points

• Introduction to Jaden

  • Jaden calls in, sharing a sense of excitement and nervousness about finally getting through. He admits he's been thinking a lot lately—more than usual.
  • “I tried to call you the other day...I'm getting what I want right now. It's kind of weird.” (03:02)

• Language, Neurodivergence & Realization

  • Jaden self-reflects on learning about autism and realizing “I'm just a lot more autistic than I thought I Was. And that's only because I'm actually learning English.” (05:03)
  • Dick explores whether English is Jaden’s native language; Jaden affirms it is but feels like “learning” it anew is teaching him about his own thinking.

• The “Now” Experiment

  • Jaden requests a thought experiment: spell “now”…then add a “K” at the front (08:00).
  • Dick: “I put it on the right side of the word, but now I'm putting it in front of the word.” (08:02)
  • Jaden points out how perception and language structure are unique to each mind; this is his way of illustrating subjective experience.

• Struggle With Social Friction

  • Jaden admits his communication style and directness have started “pissing people off,” especially as he’s grown more comfortable with saying what he wants (16:36).
  • “Like I'm not trying to get anyone mad. I just want what I want.”

• Seeking to Be Understood vs. Needing to Be Right

  • Jaden describes his journey as one of figuring out his own thoughts and wanting others to be conscious of theirs, not necessarily for them to agree but to share understanding.
  • “I want to explain how I feel like I am God. But it's really weird because I don't. Because I know I'm not God, but I feel pretty close to what I think the 12 people who made English at the start felt...” (16:13)

• Navigating Self-Awareness, Language, and Asking for Things

  • Dick offers an outside perspective: maybe Jaden’s way of fitting the universe together (his personal “puzzle”) leads him to overlook that everyone else has their own puzzle—their own context.
  • “You're operating as if there is one single puzzle to be solved...and you can't really interact with the world. And maybe that is autism.” (Dick, 23:39)

• Desire to Be Kind

  • Jaden earnestly wishes to be kind, not just correct. He shares about wanting to help people, most especially his girlfriend, to get what they want out of life (34:11).
  • “I've been trying to figure out how to actually talk nice for like my whole life...I actually can help most people be kind people.” (33:10)

• Striving for Trust and Letting Go of Control

  • Jaden admits he can’t know what others (even those closest to him) truly want; all he can do is trust what they tell him (35:00).
  • Dick encapsulates: “All you can really do is trust the information she's giving you, but you can't actually know because you are not God and cannot exist in her brain.” (36:03)
  • Jaden: “Yeah, you figured it out. You figured out exactly how you feel right now.”

• Parting Wisdom & Notable Quotes

  • “What is a computer if not what you are computing? Which means complying and playing, I think.” (Jaden, 40:09)
  • Dick closes the conversation: “I can't understand everything you're saying because I'm not God. But I can attempt, and I feel like I did attempt, and I feel like you attempted.”

Notable Quotes

• Jaden: "The word now is spelled N-O-W...Put a K in front of it." (07:49)
• Dick: “You're operating as if there is one single puzzle to be solved...but you have a major, major problem: you don’t understand there’s more than one puzzle.” (23:39)
• Jaden: “I want to help most people explain what they want out of life if I teach them how to write it down. But...I just want to help talk to people.” (38:02)

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[44:40] Caller 2: Tyler – "Artistic Sacrifice, The ‘Normie’ Job & Chasing a Dream"

Key Topics & Discussion Points

• Tyler’s Dilemma: Money or Art?

  • Tyler moves to LA for art and music, but after months of searching, only lands a “normie” job with demanding swing shifts (“Cum Corp”).
  • “I'd be working swing shift...which essentially would kill any hopes of me going out and doing the art stuff. So I'd have to normie the fuck up, which is killing my soul.” (47:00)

• Financial Pressures & Opportunity Cost

  • The job would fix Tyler’s financial problems, but at risk of sacrificing creative pursuits.
  • “My bills are paid...for the next two to three months, but there’s no income, you know.” (52:15)

• Reflections on Place & Success

  • Dick strongly questions the necessity of being in LA (or any major city) for artistic success, citing his own experience starting out in Baltimore.
  • “The dream of like, I went with my guitar to Los Angeles…it's just not there anymore because everything's on the Internet, right?” (56:35)

• Networking, Performance, and Personal Value

  • Tyler feels most successful through live performance—"I kind of win people over"—and worries about losing momentum if forced into a demanding job schedule.
  • Dick counters that creative relationships, even business ones, are often built online or in unexpected places—no city is a guarantee.

• Balancing Survival and the Dream

  • Dick suggests Tyler give the job a chance for a short term, then re-evaluate; stacking money to enable future flexibility.
  • “So, like, go to a…you can go to any major city in the US or abroad and they’ll have a music scene of some kind. Like, it didn’t have to be Los Angeles...stack your cum, but then open your options up.” (56:35)

Notable Moments & Quotes

• “You work for a cum company.” (Dick, 55:00)
• “My music...has a really big performance artist aspect to it. And strangely I’ve gotten a lot of opportunities just from people liking me on stage...I win people over.” (Tyler, 61:59)
• “At the end of the day, it’s about the stuff you’re making.” (Dick, 59:50)

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[68:30] Caller 3: Deja – "Learning Lessons Again: Boundaries, Breakups & Life on Shifting Ground"

Key Topics & Discussion Points

• Crisis of Stability

  • Deja calls while walking, sharing that she recently lost both her longtime job and may be ending a three-and-half-year relationship.
  • “Suddenly it all kind of feels like I’m on the cusp of like things changing completely for me and I don’t know what direction or how it’s gonna go.” (68:40)

• Career & Partnership Upheaval

  • Restaurant closed suddenly; business as an interior designer is just starting. Relationship feels like it’s “growing apart."
  • “We live together, so…it’s not like I’m in a shitty, abusive relationship…but I think we’re just, you know, the classic growing apart.” (71:23)

• Recurring Life Lessons

  • Deja identifies a recurring need to set boundaries, especially coming from a tumultuous childhood.
  • “A lesson I had to learn when I was...18, 19 was, I guess, what unconditional love means to me...Learning how to like, love someone from afar if they’re not...beneficial or even neutral.” (73:11)

• Learning Lessons—Over and Over

  • “The first time you learn a lesson, it’s very in your face…and then when you learn the lesson again, it’s like a frog in boiling water and it’s a little bit trickier.” (Dick, 75:11)
  • Deja speaks to having worked hard for stability, only now to feel that it's not as comfortable as she’d hoped.

• Maintaining Optimism & Confidence

  • Despite upheaval, Deja expresses faith in her resilience: “I try to view [the people in my life] more as, like, the foundations of my life rather than…where I live or what job I have.” (81:00)
  • Dick affirms: “You earned that shit, you know?...Whatever confidence you have for the future…Don’t trick yourself into believing it’s foolish. It’s something you earned or else you wouldn’t have it.” (82:01)

• Light-Hearted Close & Seinfeld Impression Request

  • Deja: “I just want you to know that I think you would do a really good Jerry Seinfeld impression.” (84:03)
  • The host demurs but thanks her for the confidence.

Notable Quotes

• Deja: “It boils down to boundaries...I had a difficult childhood...learning how to like, love someone from afar.” (73:03)
• Dick: “I thought when I learned a lesson…my brain and body naturally chart waters in a different way. I didn’t realize it meant I have to actually do different…I have to actively make different decisions. That fucking sucks.” (75:11)
• “Whatever confidence you have for the future…it’s something you earned or else you wouldn’t have it.” (Dick, 82:01)

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Memorable Moments and Episode Tone

The episode often feels philosophical, surreal, and driven by raw honesty. Dick’s genuine, sometimes flustered attempts to deeply understand the worldview of Jaden show both struggle and compassion. Tyler’s segment becomes a riff on artistic sacrifice and economic reality—filled with humor and pathos (“stack your cum, but then open your options up”). Deja’s call grounds the final segment in practical experience, warmth, and the importance of roots and foundations. Throughout, the host maintains a nonjudgmental, curious, and playfully existential tone.

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Timestamps – Important Segments

• Jaden’s word exercise and “K in front of now”: [07:45–08:11]
• Jaden’s realization about communication, autism, and kindness: [16:36, 33:10]
• Dick’s analysis of “personal puzzle vs. collective puzzle”: [23:39]
• Tyler’s LA creative struggle & job dilemma: [44:40–57:46]
• Dick’s reflections on location, success, and online opportunity: [59:50–64:15]
• Deja’s recurring boundary lesson: [73:03–75:11]
• Dick on learning life lessons the hard way: [75:11–76:07]
• Seinfeld impression request: [84:03]

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Summary

This Therapy Gecko episode is a meditative journey through what it means to be misunderstood, to seek understanding, to balance ambition and survival, and to rebuild when foundations are shaken. Dick’s engagement with each caller demonstrates earnest effort to translate inner worlds into shared language—whether or not every word lands. The conversations wander, overlap, and go meta, but remain rooted in the Geckonian ethos: curiosity, acceptance, and a touch of cosmic absurdity.

Transcript

[Jaden]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Dick]

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[Jaden]

What's going on?

[Dick]

Hey, what's up man? What's your name?

[Jaden]

My name is Jaden.

[Dick]

Jaden, what's going on, Jaden? Have we ever talked before?

[Jaden]

No, I've. I just. I just started listening to you like a couple years ago.

[Dick]

Sweet man. What's going on with you? What's going on with your life?

[Jaden]

A lot. A whole lot. I'm. I'm just. I'm thinking a lot, a lot more than I usually am thinking and like. Yeah, it's really weird.

[Dick]

Okay, let's get into it. What do you. What are you thinking about more often than you normally think about?

[Jaden]

Well, I tried to call you the other day. Last time you streamed. Because I, like, I really wanted to and I felt like it. And so then I. I found your number and I downloaded Twitch. And then. Yeah, I'm getting what I want right now. It's kind of weird.

[Dick]

Okay, well. Well, shit. Jaden, asides. Aside from the logistics of how you arrived here, what is it you wanted to talk about?

[Jaden]

I. Do you really want to know?

[Dick]

Yeah, that's. You know what? I don't. Jaden, Jaden, Jaden, I can't do the whole. Jaden, I can't do the whole conversation like this. Jaden, I give you permission to talk to me. Jaden, Jaden, Jaden, I give you. I give you.

[Jaden]

You sound crazy, right?

[Dick]

You sound. That's okay. It's okay. You're okay. It's okay. I give you full permission to. Yes. Talk to me about whatever it is you want to talk about. Yes, I do. I do want to know what's going on.

[Jaden]

You want to know? Oh, God, that feels good. Feels really good. I've been. I've been trying to explain things to people for. Feels like my whole life. And yeah, I feel like. I feel like I kind of. I kind of know a way to do it. And, yeah, it's a little scary.

[Dick]

Okay, here's what we'll do. Jaden, I. Here's. Here's what I'll. Here's. Here's what I. Here's what I promise I will attempt for you is you. I pro. I swear on my life. I promise that I will hear you out as you attempt to explain, and I will try my very best to meet you wherever you are. So you try your best. I'll try my best, and we'll see what happens.

[Jaden]

If. If you want to learn, you have to get out a piece of paper. I know it sounds kind of weird.

[Dick]

I can't do a piece of paper, but I'll try to. I'll try my best to listen.

[Jaden]

Okay. You know how we talk to each other, right? And like. Yeah. Like there's words inside your head also. And like you're also saying words too.

[Dick]

Yeah.

[Jaden]

And you know, a lot of people, a lot of people who think fast. It's kind of hard to explain how you're thinking fast. Right. I don't know anything, and I know that. But I realized in the past few weeks that I'm just a lot more autistic than I thought I Was. And that's only because I'm actually learning English. And it's. It makes sense to me, but it doesn't make sense to other people, and that feels kind of weird. Does that make sense to you?

[Dick]

Is English not your first language?

[Jaden]

No, English is my first language.

[Dick]

Okay, so. Because. Because you're learning. Learning English is making you realize that you are more autistic than you thought you were.

[Jaden]

I feel so much more smart than I felt before I knew this.

[Dick]

Okay.

[Jaden]

And I don't know how to explain the feeling of knowledge.

[Dick]

Okay.

[Jaden]

Other than writing it down the way that I just now learned how to do.

[Dick]

Okay. Now, Jane, I want you to work with me. I want you to work with me here because we're gonna figure. I swore, Jayden. I swore on my life.

[Jaden]

You're gonna piece up. You're gonna pick up a piece of paper and you're gonna try.

[Dick]

Well, I'm not gonna do a piece of paper, but I. I swore on my life that I would attempt to understand you. And so if I don't at least attempt, that means I'm gonna explode and die. So. But I want.

[Jaden]

That's, like.

[Dick]

Right, okay, so. So bear with me here. Just simple answers here.

[Jaden]

Yeah, very.

[Dick]

What do you feel like you know that you did not know before.

[Jaden]

In one word? It's the word now.

[Dick]

Okay, I'm with you. What do you know about now?

[Tyler]

You.

[Jaden]

The word now is spelled N O W, and that's how I would spell it. Hold up. Sorry. My dog. Come on. Sorry, My roommate just got back. Hey, Dakota. What did I say I was gonna do? I'm talking to the gecko right now.

[Dick]

Jaden, Jaden, Jaden, stay with me. Jaden. Jaden, stay with me. You're explaining the word. You're explaining the word now.

[Jaden]

Okay. Do you see the word now in your brain?

[Dick]

Yes.

[Jaden]

Okay. Put a K in front of it.

[Dick]

Okay.

[Jaden]

All right. Where did you put that K?

[Dick]

I put it in the front. Oh, my God.

[Jaden]

Where is the front? Yeah, you put it in the front.

[Dick]

Oh, my God.

[Jaden]

Can you fucking see it now?

[Dick]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I see it. I see it. I see it. Okay. All right. I put it on the. I put it on the right side of the word, but now I'm putting it in front of the word.

[Jaden]

Yeah. So you thought you were right, but you know what front actually means to me.

[Dick]

Yes.

[Jaden]

Yeah, we agree right now.

[Dick]

Okay.

[Jaden]

And you see that in your own brain?

[Dick]

I do.

[Jaden]

Right?

[Dick]

Yes.

[Jaden]

That's really weird. I know that. That. I know that. It's really Weird that I can explain how you imagine things, kind of. And I know that that's true.

[Dick]

Okay.

[Jaden]

And it's really weird to explain how I think personally to you because I'm not you. Right.

[Dick]

Okay. So, Jaden, So I'm going to. I'm going to. I'm going to steer this conversation now. Okay?

[Jaden]

Yeah.

[Dick]

So you just did a little thought experiment about how we have different perspectives. And I attempted to get into your perspective, and I did. And we successfully matched each other's perspectives.

[Jaden]

Yeah. We found out what word, what one. What word, What.

[Dick]

Okay.

[Jaden]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dick]

Okay, listen. Okay, so. So, yeah, that's in the context of this specific thought experiment that you did. How does this apply to everyone?

[Jaden]

Right?

[Dick]

To things beyond just this thought experiment. How does this apply to your life?

[Jaden]

Okay. Do you actually want to know?

[Dick]

Yes.

[Jaden]

Okay. You have to get a piece of paper.

[Dick]

I don't need a piece of paper. I didn't need a piece of paper for the first one. I don't need a piece of paper for this.

[Jaden]

You know what? That's true. You're very. You're right. I. I feel like the differences between me and you right now are legitimately and figuratively just the way that we write the word R or the way that we. Word. Or. Or. And. Or the way that we write the word K. Because if you take the K and then you take it over the line, it becomes an R. And so if you. If you take your. No, Your knowledge and take it over the line of what you actually know is true, then you are right. Kind of. Kind of right.

[Dick]

All right, I'm gonna steer this conversation. I'm gonna share this conversation in a new direction.

[Jaden]

You want to know how I figured that out?

[Dick]

How'd you figure that out?

[Jaden]

I thought about what a pyramid was.

[Dick]

Yeah.

[Jaden]

And then I thought about English, and I thought about what a period is.

[Dick]

Yeah.

[Jaden]

And I thought about how I viewed that in my own brain, kind of. Because I don't. I didn't. I didn't think I knew how to spell because I was. I thought I was dyslexic, but I'm realizing I'm just autistic.

[Dick]

Okay.

[Jaden]

Does that make sense?

[Dick]

It does. Jaden, I can ask you. Can I ask you some questions?

[Jaden]

Yeah.

[Deja]

What's up?

[Dick]

How old are you, Jaden?

[Jaden]

I'm 19.

[Dick]

Okay. What. Where do you live? Don't give me your home address. What state do you live in?

[Jaden]

South Dakota.

[Dick]

Okay.

[Jaden]

Kind of in the middle of nowhere.

[Dick]

All right. Are you in college right now?

[Jaden]

Nope.

[Dick]

What do you do do you work?

[Jaden]

I mean, I work in a grocery store.

[Dick]

Okay.

[Jaden]

Pretty nice.

[Dick]

Okay. And you live with your family?

[Jaden]

Nope.

[Dick]

You live by yourself with some roommates.

[Jaden]

No. Yeah, I have a. I have one roommate. I used to. I lived with my cousin and then his. His girlfriend and their baby, but they moved out a few weeks ago, and then my. My. My friend moved in, so I got a new roommate now. Yeah, I have one roommate.

[Dick]

All right. So you live with a friend. And how do you know this friend?

[Jaden]

We met, like, last year.

[Dick]

Cool.

[Jaden]

You just. Just showed up in my life, you know?

[Dick]

Cool. How are you doing in general.

[Jaden]

Right now? I'm a little hungry, but about it. I'm doing good. Doing really good.

[Dick]

Mm. What thoughts take up your brain most of the day?

[Jaden]

Whatever thoughts. I want to take over my brain most of the day.

[Dick]

Really?

[Jaden]

Yeah.

[Dick]

You feel. You feel like you're very. You feel like you're that in control of your thoughts?

[Jaden]

Kind of. I know I'm not in control over my thoughts, but I know how I. How I would write down my thoughts.

[Dick]

And lately. Lately. What thoughts in particular have you been wanting to occupy your brain?

[Jaden]

I. I wanted to understand English, and so I. I imagine myself as more than just myself. And then I took what I knew, which is just a few colors, and then what I didn't know, which was the period at the end of the words that I didn't know. And then I made a circle out of them, and then I just started writing. The. Started writing letters. But, yeah, I've been having fun. It's been good.

[Dick]

I've been reading. You sent me a bunch of texts, and I'm reading some of them. Right.

[Jaden]

I kind of, like, frantically texted you yet last time because I was. When. When I was listening to your stream, the other dude, the dude who was talking to you last, was saying how he, like, kind of figured out language a little bit, and, like, well, he was saying that I was, like, writing stuff down, like, kind of figuring it out on my own.

[Dick]

Okay, so when you say. Yeah, and in one of these texts, you said you fixed English, so what does that mean? What do you. What do you mean by you fixed. What do you mean by you fixed English? What was. And let's do this in parts. Okay, first, let's do. First, first of all. First of all, first of all, what was wrong with English before you came in?

[Jaden]

I didn't understand it. Me personally, I didn't understand it. My person, like, myself. I didn't. I didn't understand what I was saying to myself. Yeah, But I already knew. I already, like. I already knew how to meditate, but I didn't know how to explain how I knew how to meditate. And I really felt crazy because I was. I've been like, I've been doing really good in life, and then I'm trying to help people do good, but it's like I can't. I can't explain my own. Or I felt like I couldn't explain my own thoughts. And so I'm, like, just sitting here running in circles, like, trying to explain to people why they should be good. But then, like, I didn't even understand it myself.

[Dick]

Wait, give me a minute. Give me a minute, Jaden, because we're talking about a bunch of different things now, and I want to hone in on this. You are trying to explain to people why they should be good?

[Jaden]

No, I am trying to explain to people why they should be conscientious. Conscious.

[Dick]

Conscious. Okay. And what does it mean to. And what does it mean to you to be conscientious?

[Jaden]

For me, it means that I understand the thoughts going on inside of my head right now, okay? And that's it. That's all I know.

[Dick]

So you're trying to explain to people that they should have a better understanding of the thoughts going on inside of their own head.

[Jaden]

I don't want anybody to do anything. I never said this one.

[Dick]

I never. Hold on. I never said that. I never said that. I said. You're trying to explain to people why you believe they should.

[Jaden]

Yes, I want to explain how I feel like I am God. But it's really weird because I don't. Because I know I'm not God, but I feel pretty close to what I think the 12 people who made English at the start felt, like, kind of interesting.

[Dick]

Interesting.

[Jaden]

Interesting, because I've been like, I. I felt like I figured out what I want, and then I started saying what I want. And me being really autistic, I, like, I've been getting people kind of mad because now I'm just saying everything I want. And it's like. Like I'm not trying to get anyone mad. I just want what I want.

[Dick]

Okay, all right. Slow down for me for just a second, dude.

[Jaden]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dick]

Because you're bringing up a lot of different things. I want to keep track of them. They're interesting things.

[Jaden]

To get a piece of paper and write it down.

[Dick]

I don't need. I don't need a. I don't need a piece of paper.

[Jaden]

I. I know, I know.

[Dick]

Okay, you brought up. Wait, hold On. You brought up two things. One thing you brought up is that you believe that you're God, and.

[Jaden]

No, I don't believe that.

[Dick]

Didn't you just say that you believe you're God?

[Jaden]

I said I believe that. I know what's going on in my head right now.

[Dick]

Okay?

[Jaden]

I don't know God.

[Dick]

All right? And then you said that you're pissing people off. Why are you. In what way are you pissing people off? Like, what does it look like when you're doing something that pisses people off?

[Jaden]

So, like, right now, when I'm telling you to grab a piece of paper, it kind of doesn't feel good because I'm telling you to do something that you don't want to do right now.

[Dick]

Sure.

[Jaden]

Right. And the only way I can explain how I'm thinking like that is legitimately if you grab a piece of paper right now. And so I can't. I can't do anything.

[Dick]

So you are. You're trying. So as you maneuver around the universe, you are exerting your will upon the universe.

[Jaden]

I am getting exactly what I want right now, and that's why I'm on. I'm on the phone with you. And it's kind of scary because I know a lot of other people also get what they want, but then they die, and it's like, I don't want to die.

[Dick]

Okay. Other people get what they want, and.

[Jaden]

Then they die most of the time.

[Dick]

Do you believe that they die right after getting what they want, or they get what they want and then at some point they die?

[Jaden]

I believe that after you feel like you get what you want, then you're okay with dying. And. Yeah, the only way for me to prove that to people is if someone comes and kills me, and then they're like, oh, I just. I knew him, so I know that he was okay dying.

[Dick]

Yeah.

[Jaden]

But nobody else would know that I'm okay dying unless they actually knew me.

[Dick]

Okay, but have you gotten what you want?

[Jaden]

Yeah, I'm amazing. I got. I got everything. I got everything I want.

[Dick]

Okay, and so you're afraid that because you now have everything you want, you become okay with dying, and then that kind of puts out into the universe that it makes you die kind of.

[Jaden]

Because, I mean, I. It's the words should and shouldn't, the NT and shouldn't. I don't think it should be that if you don't want to put it there. Right.

[Dick]

Yeah, that's true.

[Jaden]

And so when I'm talking to people, I don't Want to put it there. And I'm learning how to. How to tell people what I want from them in the moment without crossing the line of, you know, the language.

[Dick]

What do you want from me right now?

[Jaden]

I just wanted to talk to you.

[Dick]

Okay, good.

[Jaden]

What do you want to talk about?

[Dick]

We're having a. Fle're talking about, like, five different things at once. I don't think we can add anything else.

[Jaden]

Well, I mean, I'm just asking what you want. Do you want to figure out what I'm figuring it out, or do you want to talk?

[Dick]

I think both of those. I think figuring out what you are trying to figure out is us talking, so kind of.

[Jaden]

Right.

[Dick]

Okay. So are you.

[Jaden]

Are you confused because you think I'm not getting what I want?

[Dick]

No, I'm not confused. No, I'm not confused at all.

[Jaden]

Okay.

[Dick]

Yeah, I'm. We're trying to understand.

[Jaden]

Right.

[Dick]

Do you feel like you're constantly asking people for things and that's pissing them off?

[Jaden]

So first, I felt that way because I, like, last month, I, like, I figured out that the, like, the words I'm using, like, exactly how people are seeing me. And so.

[Dick]

Yes, that's true. Well, not just the words you're using.

[Jaden]

Yeah, yeah. It's the balance of the words I'm using and then how I'm using them. Right, of course.

[Dick]

Yeah.

[Jaden]

And I have never been able to explain that to anybody because I feel like my brain moves a little bit faster than most people, and I don't want that to make anybody else feel like being slower is bad. Does that make sense?

[Dick]

That actually does make sense. Let me give you an example. Let me give you an example of something.

[Jaden]

You should give me a word. Can you give me a word? And then I'll try and break it down how I think I should break it down.

[Dick]

I think. I can't. I can't give you a word because the way that I'm. Okay, let me. I think I kind of. I'm trying to understand a little bit about what your problem is, and I think I understand a little bit of it, and I'm gonna. I'm gonna. Well, let me. Can I ask you if you can let. Let me throw something at you first and see how you react. Okay. Are you cool with that?

[Jaden]

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[Dick]

Okay. All right. So this whole thing of, like, my brain works faster than other people's, and so I kind of know what I want and I say it, and it pisses people off. So I've been around. I think I'VE been around other people who are like that. And I understand. The problem is, is that I think naturally it sounds to me like the way your brain works and the way. And I'm just making. I'm just throwing this out there. You tell me if it resonates with you. The way your brain works is like you have a strong sense of self, and you're in your brain. And because you're in your brain, you have a way in which the world configurates itself and kind of fits together like a puzzle piece. And you just maneuver as if it should fit that way. But you have a. And that makes perfect sense to you. Why would it not make perfect sense to you? You're solving the puzzle. Of course you wrote it down. But you have a major problem. What's your name again? Jaden. Jaden, you have a major problem. You have a major, major problem. And this is the problem for you to think about here. Okay. Are you ready? Listening. Here's what I think the problem is.

[Jaden]

Yeah. What do you think? What do you think my problem is?

[Dick]

You're operating as if there is one single puzzle to be solved of the universe. That is your brain, and you're solving the puzzle. And so you're like, oh, of course this and of course that. And the reason why it's pissing people off is because you don't understand there's more than one puzzle. There's everyone else's puzzle and everyone else's context. And if you're acting in a way that neglects everyone else's context and everyone else's puzzle and you're just focused on your own puzzle, then you're. You. You. Yeah, you kind of piss people off, and you can't really interact with the world. And maybe that is. I don't know anything about autism, but maybe that is autism. Doing that is making. You have to focus on your own puzzle. But, like, if you put, like as a smart guy and even as part of your puzzle, you could kind of try to fit in with other people's contexts, you know? You know what I mean? Can I give, like, let me get, like. I'll give you an example.

[Jaden]

Yeah.

[Dick]

I was with someone on a trip once, and I, like, we were going to customs, and they walk in front of me and they give the customs guy their passport, and then they say to me, okay, now you give him your passport. And in my head, I was pissed off because I was like, dude, I.

[Jaden]

Know you told me what I should do.

[Dick]

Well, I was pissed off because I was like, dude, I know to give the guy my fucking passport. I know. And it felt like it was pretentious. It felt like he was telling me what to do. It pissed me off. But I'm. But here's the thing. And I'm realizing this, talking to you in his head. He's not thinking about that. He's going to. Oh, we need to give this guy our passport. Let me give him my passport. Hey, you also need to give him your passport. So let me tell you to give him your passport. And that pisses me off. But of course he's thinking the way that you're thinking because he's just looking at the world through a very logical point of view, and he's not thinking about the context behind it. You know, he's going A to B, and it's fucking frustrating. I understand why it's fucking frustrating, because when you're going A to B and someone else is like, hey, that's pissing people off, you go, wait, why is this pissing people off? This makes perfect sense to me.

[Jaden]

Do you. Do you want me to explain kind of how I'm thinking about it?

[Dick]

Do you understand? Does any of what I said to you resonate?

[Jaden]

Yeah, I completely, 100%. No, not. Not 100%. I don't know you, but I 90% agree with you.

[Dick]

Okay, go ahead.

[Jaden]

You. I. Okay. I don't know how to explain my thoughts, but I know how to explain how I personally break apart the words that I see when someone says something to me or, like, when I read something.

[Dick]

Huh.

[Jaden]

But because I've had. I like. I. It's just. It's. Yeah, it's kind of weird. It's really weird. I. My whole life, I've felt like I've wanted to understand my thoughts to the best of my abilities. And I've always liked drawn. I've always liked to draw. I've always liked to, you know, kind, like. I've always, like, kind of liked to read. Like, I like comic books. I kind of, you know, I just. I just like some stuff. And the only way I figured out what I actually need right now is from the process of, like, the process of elimination that goes on in my brain with the words that I say in my brain.

[Dick]

Huh.

[Jaden]

Does that make sense?

[Dick]

A little bit? Yeah.

[Jaden]

A little bit. Kind of.

[Dick]

Yeah.

[Jaden]

I. I know that I can make sense to you right now, but. But there's a but. But there's a big B. There's a big butt, right?

[Dick]

Yeah.

[Jaden]

So. So what the. Is the beat in English? What word does the letter B actually mean?

[Dick]

I don't know, but I mean, I interpret it. I'm interpreting it to the butt, meaning, like, this is like. Dude, when I was a kid. When I was a kid, I used to, like, go. I used to try to look for, like, the dictionary definition of the. You know. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, to be like, well, how do they. How do you define the word the.

[Jaden]

I think I figured that out.

[Dick]

Yeah.

[Jaden]

Seriously, I'm not joking.

[Dick]

Do you figure that? How do. Okay, all right. How do you define the Jane?

[Jaden]

I can't tell you.

[Dick]

If you can't tell me, then you. If you can't tell me that you.

[Jaden]

Can'T fucking do it, then I can't be right. I can't. I can't be right right now. Right. Because I can't tell you it.

[Dick]

Huh?

[Jaden]

Right now. Right. I feel kind of bad because I can't tell you it right now.

[Dick]

You don't have to feel. This is. You have nothing to feel bad for.

[Jaden]

But is that wrong? Is that wrong that I feel bad right now? In your opinion? In your own opinion?

[Dick]

Yeah, in my own. Yes, in my own opinion. Yeah. Not like. It's not more. It's not morally wrong. Yeah, but I don't think.

[Deja]

I don't think.

[Dick]

I don't think it's not morally wrong. I just don't think the situation currently warrants you feeling bad.

[Jaden]

I 100 agree with you.

[Dick]

Okay, great.

[Jaden]

And I totally understand how I wrote the letter B in my brain and how I wrote the letter E and then the letter A. Because if. If I understand how I write the letter B and then the letter A at the same time as I understand why I'm writing it that way, then I don't have to think about the words that I'm saying in my brain as much.

[Dick]

Jaden, before we go, unless. If this brings up a whole other thing, I'm gonna. I want. I just want to ask you something, and there's no real right answer to this question, but I'm just genuinely curious. Do you desire. And it's okay. Whatever the answer, it's okay. Do you desire to piss people off less?

[Jaden]

Yes. Okay, 100%. I don't want to make people mad, okay? I want you to understand the words that I'm saying right now. But for that to happen, you have to write something in your brain for me to say something to you for you to understand it the way I'm saying it. Does that make sense?

[Dick]

Yes, a little bit. But what I'M trying to get across is that, like, okay, here's the thing is you don't want to. And this is the. And by the way, actually, this. And I've talked about this before, and this goes into what you were. Whole thing about conscientiousness is there's a certain level of conscientiousness because you don't want to be too worried about pissing people off. Because if you're like. Yeah, because if you're too worried about pissing people off, then you never do anything, because as you exist as a person and do stuff, you just naturally piss people off. And you also. You can't really control whether or not you piss people off, kind of. But, like, if you want to piss people off less, like, I think you can make active efforts, you know, like, I'm hopefully trying to do with you right now, like, when I'm talking to you, I'm, like, trying to think about, like, what's going on in your brain and how you're processing this information and whatnot. So, like, as you go out into the world, you know, if you want to try to piss people off less, you can try to think, like, well, what's going on in their brain? How are they processing this information? And let me not use that information as a way of, like, diluting myself, but maybe, like, oh, really?

[Jaden]

That's what. Yeah. Right now.

[Dick]

Okay.

[Jaden]

This moment.

[Dick]

All right.

[Tyler]

Do you.

[Jaden]

Do you actually want to understand what I understand right now? And I'm using the word want like, very kind of loosely and very literally at the same time? Do you actually want to know what I know right now? I feel intimidated now because you're kind of scared, right?

[Dick]

I'm not. I don't know what happens after. Yeah. Yes, yes. Yes.

[Jaden]

You're kind of scared. Kind of.

[Dick]

Yes.

[Jaden]

Right.

[Dick]

Okay. Yeah.

[Jaden]

Okay. Do you want me to explain how I break apart the word kind of a little bit in my own brain? Do you want me to explain how I break it apart?

[Dick]

I'll hear it, and then it might. It might be the last part of this conversation, but, yes. Let's hear it.

[Jaden]

All right. I really, really, really want to be kind in my life for, like, my whole life. I know for a fact that I don't know how long my life is gonna be.

[Dick]

Yes.

[Jaden]

But if I tell you what I know is a fact, then that's a gift I can give to you.

[Dick]

That's true. Yeah.

[Jaden]

That feels good, right?

[Dick]

Yeah, I agree.

[Jaden]

The way I said it.

[Dick]

Yeah, it does.

[Jaden]

Do you? Yeah. So I've been trying to figure out how to actually talk nice for like my whole life because I've felt like a kind person my whole life. And I've been trying to figure out how to like, help other people be kind to people. And right now I feel like I actually can help most people be kind people.

[Dick]

In the sense that. Yes.

[Jaden]

Yeah. In the sense that they can understand their thoughts. The same way that I feel like I can understand my thoughts.

[Dick]

Yes, you have. No. You have no idea how long your life is gonna be. So in what ways on your day to day life, can you help other people be kinder people? And I mean by. Here's like, by just talking to folks in a way, you help them understand their thoughts.

[Jaden]

Yeah, I mean, I. Do you want to know what I did?

[Dick]

Yeah. What'd you do?

[Jaden]

I felt like. All right, let me. Let me give you some. Some backstory. Okay. So I. I have this girlfriend and we've been together for like five, almost six months.

[Dick]

Oh, you have a girlfriend and.

[Jaden]

Yeah, it's gone. I mean, yeah, we're. We're doing good right now, but we decided to, like, she. I just. I wanted to help her get what she wants out of ice. And I've never felt like I can explain that, but I've already. I've always known that I wanted to help people with my life.

[Dick]

What do you. Do you know what your girlfriend wants out of life?

[Jaden]

No, and I don't know that. And I know that I can't know that. And so that's why I learned the word trust in my own way.

[Dick]

Wait, Jaden, you're making a bunch of statements here that I. Wait, hold on.

[Jaden]

Yeah, I'm sorry. Sorry. Yeah, sorry.

[Dick]

Just let me. Let me slow down for a second. Why? First, why can't you know that?

[Jaden]

Because I'm not God, right?

[Dick]

Okay, are you saying that like. Oh, wait. Oh, fuck. Jane, you actually make. Wait, Jaden, you're making perfect.

[Jaden]

I'm making perfect sense, right?

[Dick]

You're making perfect sense because you can. The reason you. Because you. Because the word trust, right? Okay. Because you can only. You can. All you can really do, Jaden, all you can really do is you can trust that whatever she's telling you is what she wants out of life is what she wants. So all you can really do is trust the information she's giving you, but you can't actually know because you are not God and cannot exist in her brain. Did I figure it out?

[Jaden]

Figure it out? Yeah, you figured it out. You figured out exactly how you feel Right now.

[Dick]

You're like a riddle, Jaden. You're like a riddle.

[Jaden]

Do you like riddles?

[Dick]

Keep going. What were you. What were you saying?

[Jaden]

What the was I saying? What? What? Okay, yeah. What the was I saying? I lost track.

[Dick]

You were talking. Okay, you were talking about your girlfriend. You can help. You want to help her get. You want to help her with.

[Jaden]

Okay, yeah, okay. I. I want her to get exactly what she wants out of life. Out of her life?

[Dick]

Yes.

[Jaden]

And I. I felt like I never could actually write that down, but right now I. I, like. Like, I'm. I'm talking to you, and it feels really nice to talk to you and, like, it feels good to just fucking pace around my house and like, I don't know. I've never. I've never felt so crazy and so sane at the same exact time. And the way I feel like that is because I underlined the word crazy and then I wrote the word sane underneath it. And I. I took the. You know, that's. I took the equal sign, and that's me.

[Dick]

How did you meet your girlfriend?

[Jaden]

We. So I've known her for like three years, but she used to, like. We weren't together when I met her, but. Yeah, like five months ago.

[Dick]

Yeah, I would assume you weren't together when you guys met. Sorry, go ahead.

[Jaden]

Well, no, she. She. She, like. She dated. She dated my friend for like a few.

[Tyler]

Like.

[Jaden]

Yeah, it was like a few weeks or whatever or. No, no, it wasn't. It was. It was like a couple months. But I. Yeah, I just, like. I just wanted to get what she wants out of life, and I. I always wanted what I want out of life, and I feel like I can help most people explain what they want out of life if I teach them how to write it down. But the fact that I know that I can help most people if I teach them how to write it down feels pretty wrong because I don't want to be right. Like, I don't want to write things down correctly. I just want to help talk to people.

[Dick]

Jaden?

[Jaden]

Yeah?

[Dick]

I think I, I, you know, I've enjoyed. I've enjoyed talking to you. I'm gonna. I'm gonna be super honest with you. It's been challenging to figure you out and to get information from you, and I think you know, and I think you. No, no, no. You have nothing to be apologize for.

[Jaden]

I'm.

[Dick]

I think you. I think you know, I think you're a smart guy, so I think you know that it's challenging to get information. Yeah. I've enjoyed the challenge. You like getting this? I'm. Well, I. It's difficult, but. But I've enjoyed the challenge of it. I've enjoyed the challenge of. I said at the beginning of this call that I swore on my life I would attempt to understand the things that you were saying to me, and I've enjoyed the challenge of doing it.

[Jaden]

And I hope you still don't understand what I'm saying.

[Dick]

Well, Jaden, listen. I can't understand everything you're saying because I'm not God.

[Jaden]

That's true.

[Dick]

But I can attempt, and I feel like I did attempt, and I feel like you attempted, and I feel like you tried the best, and I. And I appreciate. I appreciate you sitting here with me. And I feel like you attempted as best you could to explain it. And I'm aware that 90. I'm aware that almost 100% of the people listening are gonna have no idea what either of us were talking about the entire time. And I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that.

[Jaden]

I'm okay with that, too. That's okay. I'm not worried.

[Dick]

I'm not worried either. It's all right. This is. Was good.

[Jaden]

Yeah, life is good. Life is very good.

[Dick]

Jaden, is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?

[Jaden]

What is a computer if not what you are computing? Which means complying and playing, I think.

[Dick]

Thank you, Jaden.

[Jaden]

I don't know.

[Dick]

Have a good rest of the day.

[Jaden]

Yeah, I love you, man. Have a good one.

[Dick]

Thank you, Jane. I love you, too.

[Jaden]

Bye.

[Dick]

All right, well, that was. I. You know What? I fully, 100% stand by that. I let me know in the comments of the YouTube or the Spotify or the whatever, how I really want to. I mean, I guess that's what comments are for, is for commenting on the thing, but I really want to know how people felt about that. Did you make it through? Did you listen to the whole 40 minute of us. 40 minutes of us talking? Did you get five minutes in and you were like. I don't know if I can understand that. I liked being in that. I did that. Felt like I was playing Pong or something. I enjoyed the challenge of that. I live in New York, and, like, I know. I don't think that this previous caller was schizophrenic, but schizophrenic people come up to me a lot, and we talk, and I've learned a lot. I think, like some. Like. I think beneath. Beneath, like a jumble of like a Rand people saying seemingly random stuff. There's a kernel of something in there. And you. I think you can get to that kernel if you like. You know, keep it on track. Because Jaden was trying to explain something. I'm not fully sure I got all of it, but I got some of it. I got more of it than I would have if I didn't try. And I. And I'm happy about that. Okay, let me know in the comments if you got. If you got anything. I'm curious of other people's interpretations. And he fucked my shit up by telling me about putting the K in front of the now. Because I put it in. I put it on the right hand side. I didn't put it in front. I'm walking through life completely unaware of my own perspective and how it makes me put K's in different places. All right.

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[Dick]

Hey, folks, if any of you guys are creators on TikTok, you're gonna wanna know about this. TikTok is putting on a celebration spotlighting creators from all over the world called Live Fest 2025. I know a lot of people who listen to this show or call into this show are creators of some kind of. You guys do all sorts of stuff. Life coaching, making funny sketches, making music. Whatever it is you do on TikTok, doing it with TikTok Live is a great way to engage with your community and grow your audience. And this year's Live Fest is a great opportunity to show the world whatever it is that you do best. You can take home real trophies and walk down the red carpet at TikTok's annual awards ceremony.

[Jaden]

So.

[Dick]

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[Jaden]

Shh.

[Dick]

You won't believe what my new friend.

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[Dick]

Hello?

[Tyler]

Dick, is this you?

[Dick]

Yeah, who is this?

[Tyler]

This is Ty. Ty?

[Dick]

What's up, Ty? Ty?

[Tyler]

Nothing much, dude calling because I have a quandary for you today.

[Dick]

Quand me?

[Tyler]

Yeah, dude. So just a little bit of backstory. I recently moved to a major west coast city to pursue art, music and start a whole new life type thing. And I've been here about a month and a half and a lot of good things have been happening and the one thing that's really been holding me back is for the life of me, I cannot get a job. I probably have applied to over 200 places, like places I'm over qualified to be working at. And I've gotten five job interviews, four of which I really really wanted and would have like suited my needs financially and finally landed one today. But I'd be working swing shift so from like anywhere from like 2:30 to 12:30 depending on the day, which essentially would kill any hopes of me like going out and doing the art stuff. So I'd had to normie the up, which is killing my soul to think about because I really came out here with a purpose and I'm just not sure if I'm able to live in that because either way that I, I decide to go, it's gonna take an immense amount of sacrifice and I feel like I'm in a rock and a hard place battle of brain and heart. And I figured, well, I told myself today that I would ask a few of my friends what they would do. We're not really friends, but I've been following you since like early, early early days and I've actually even seen you live and stuff.

[Dick]

Oh sweet.

[Tyler]

I think I've even called in like five plus years ago. I can't remember exactly what we were talking about, but I said something about my mommy kisses my boo boos. I don't remember the context, but yeah. So you're somebody who I definitely respect artistically as someone that fucking tried it, man. And for better or worse, I mean, I don't know your whole life, but it seems like you found some success and some self worth in it. And I think as artists that's what we're all really striving for.

[Dick]

Well, I appreciate those kind words. I have multiple questions.

[Jaden]

Sure.

[Dick]

Okay, wait, what's a swing shift?

[Tyler]

That's like basically the second shift of the day. So like most people working 9 to 5 or you know, up until 3pm that would be like the relief shift. So I'd be working from three in the afternoon to four some days past midnight.

[Dick]

Okay, how many days a week?

[Tyler]

Five. My days off would be Fridays and Saturdays. But this is going to be a very demanding job. Like they've already like, alluded to me, like picking up shifts for other people. So another kind of thing about it is where I moved in the city, traffic is a really big problem. And while this place is 15, 16 miles away from my house, through traffic, it's like an hour and 10 minutes.

[Dick]

Fuck, yeah. So you got to add two whole hours onto your light onto this thing every day. Yep.

[Tyler]

And then I get home at like fucking thing one 2am, fall asleep, probably wake up at 10am, take a shower and do all that shit again.

[Dick]

Yep, yep, yep.

[Tyler]

Now I will say though, the money is good.

[Dick]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And with overtime, it makes it even better.

[Dick]

How good?

[Tyler]

Fixes all my financial problems.

[Dick]

Okay, okay.

[Tyler]

I'm a single male with no kids.

[Dick]

Pretty good.

[Tyler]

So I don't have any real responsibilities to anybody but myself right now.

[Dick]

Swag.

[Tyler]

That is kind of cool.

[Dick]

I have more. I have more, I have more questions. I have more questions.

[Tyler]

I have more answers.

[Dick]

You what? What arts did you move out here to do?

[Tyler]

Primarily music, but I've taken a lot of interest in film and screenwriting. I consider myself like a songwriter, but I make a lot of hip hop style music.

[Dick]

Okay. So music and film.

[Jaden]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And this kind of go hand in hand.

[Dick]

And this play. And this major west coast city that you moved to, where did you move there from?

[Tyler]

Another major Northern California city.

[Dick]

Okay. And this major West Coast.

[Tyler]

I'm trying not to out myself.

[Dick]

This major west coast city wouldn't happen to be Los Angeles, would it?

[Tyler]

If it was, it would make a difference. It's a big place where a lot of famous people come. I'll say that.

[Dick]

You can just say if it's there, you're not gonna.

[Jaden]

Okay, all right.

[Tyler]

I moved from the bay to la.

[Jaden]

There it is. Let's not.

[Dick]

Hold on, hold on, hold on. It doesn't ha. This does not have to be. You're not the only. There's. There's. Nobody's going to find.

[Tyler]

I'll tell you. I'll tell you why. Because I do have, like, friends and close people that do listen to your show that I don't feel 100% comfortable sharing all my personal issues with.

[Dick]

Okay.

[Tyler]

Now you, on the other hand, I'm a complete stranger.

[Jaden]

Yeah.

[Dick]

I'm a complete. So much easier with thousands of other complete strangers who are happy. Okay, so you moved the Bay. So you moved from SF to. So you moved from a very expensive. Okay. Sacramento. Okay. That's a different story. What's the cost of living?

[Tyler]

I lived. I lived a lot and did a lot of music things in Oakland, San Francisco. Sacramento is where I lived. But a lot of my connections are based in Northern California.

[Dick]

Okay.

[Tyler]

And you moved, so I'm starting all over again.

[Dick]

Okay, here's what I understand, here's what I want to talk about is why did you. Okay. The idea that you need to be in a certain location for a certain kind of career in the arts is not. Is. I don't. I believe I'm strongly, strongly against it.

[Tyler]

I can agree with that. Actually, my ultimate goal isn't to be locked down to one place, actually.

[Dick]

Yeah. So why did you intentionally move to a place where the cost of living. Why did you intend. If, if you have all these financial problems, why did you intentionally move to a place that will be an even harder strain on your finances?

[Tyler]

Well, to be honest, I actually looked up and where I'm at right now, I'm paying significantly less per month than I was up in Sacramento. And so it's not like I have a bunch of issues. And to be even more honest, my. My bills are paid, which is another factor of this. Like, for the next two to three months, my bills are paid, but there's no income, you know, which is kind of like why I'm. I'm like, do I need to just. I don't know, I feel like I'm just getting momentum right now, you know, getting my feet planted in like the actual art scene and again, got some cool opportunities and it just. It'd be so weird to be like, so in people's face and start having this momentum. And then all of a sudden I'm just gone, you know, not just to other people, but to me as well.

[Dick]

Yeah. So you're. So you're having. You're actually getting good opportunities in Los Angeles because you're in Los Angeles because. I don't know, I might be. Yeah, my words. But I, I don't.

[Tyler]

No, no, no, no. I mean, it's hit or miss. You know, I came down here with a bit of a plan and the rest I've just been winging it and getting really lucky and. Yeah, it's been good. I've been meeting really talented people and like minded individuals and, you know, my healthy share of fucking weirdos that, you know, aren't about what they're talking about, but it's a good balance right now and it's something that I feel like I could work with. But there's still like that one factor kind of missing. You know, at the end of the day we all got to eat.

[Dick]

And so obviously this is a very demanding job and probably like 50, 60 hours a week. Yeah. Fucking crazy. And it would it be taking away from time that like, like, I assume you want to be like outperforming, doing events and shit, right?

[Tyler]

Yeah. Which entertainment hours are pretty much four to midnight, you know?

[Dick]

Yeah. So. Okay, well this, let me ask you this. The people that you're meeting in this scene, what do they do? Where do they work?

[Tyler]

A lot of them, A lot of folks out here have multiple jobs. You know, they bounce around. They have or they have their own side hustles and Yeah, a lot of like multiple job ass people out here because I mean that's kind of what it takes if you're not gonna get a normie job.

[Dick]

So wait, this job that you got, is it a normie? It's a normie job, right?

[Tyler]

It's for a major corporate company that I'm definitely not going to name having to do with specimen collection. I'll just say it like that.

[Dick]

You work for a cum company.

[Tyler]

Among other specimens. I think cum is one of the things I might have to pick up. Not with my hand. Luckily I don't work for them yet. I'm calling you to decide if I should. Yeah, yeah, let's call it Cum Corp. For sake of continuity.

[Dick]

So you have not yet accepted the job at Cum Corp?

[Tyler]

No, I just got the offer this morning.

[Dick]

And it's very good money. And you've applied to a billion other places and none of them accept it. And you've been, how long have you been in. How long have you been in Los Angeles for?

[Tyler]

About a month and a half.

[Dick]

Okay. And it's been good to you so far?

[Tyler]

So far, so good.

[Dick]

Well, you know, I, I have a lot of thoughts about this because I don't know how. I mean I know that the job search. I know that like the, the job market sucks shit everywhere, but I'm also like, you know, I don't know if it sucks more shit in Los Angeles because it's Los Angeles. I mean, look, you got the. Go ahead and work the job for a little bit, right? Especially if it's good money and you can kind of stack a little bit. Right. But here's what I'll say that here's, here's my Thoughts is if you work this job for like, you know, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 months or whatever, and you're stacking good bread, but you're also like, oh, fuck, I came out here to like, do this music stuff and I'm just like, nah, I just can't do it with this job. Then I think you go like, all right, where? What about like Seattle or Baltimore or Austin or Portland or fucking anywhere any other you could. Because it's the thing, man. It's like the whole dream of like, I went with my guitar to Los Angeles. It's just not there anymore because everything's like. Because everything's on the Internet, right? So, yeah, you can so, like go to a. Go to it. You can go to any major city in the US or abroad and they'll have like a music scene of some kind. Like, it didn't have to be Los Angeles. So if this is the only. If the only jobs you can find at Los Angeles are, you know, 70 hours a week at Cum Corp, then, you know, stack your come, but then open your options up.

[Tyler]

That's what won't be my. Come on. Stacking. But I kept your meeting.

[Dick]

Would you. What did your friends say?

[Tyler]

I spoke to a. I have an older friend that like, in a lot of ways we have crossover. He's like 20 years older than me, but back in the 90s, he had a really good opportunity and all he had to do was move to LA and he didn't take it. And he's still really, really good at what he does, you know, But I know that, like, sometimes he might wonder what. What his life would have looked like had he made it and, you know, different decisions.

[Dick]

What was the opportunity that he didn't take in Los Angeles?

[Jaden]

He had.

[Tyler]

He was inside of a hip hop group that had a little bit of traction in the 90s, and he was offered a development deal with a group of, you know, his group. And I guess he was like the odd man out. And he stayed in Northern California and they went on and found varying levels of success, but, like, that was. They're kind of like, I don't know, that thing that we're all waiting for. The person that's gonna pluck you out of obscurity. He had that opportunity and he didn't take it. And I'm not saying I have that opportunity, but I just. I also been feeling like this incredible pressure of something's about to happen.

[Dick]

Well, you do have that opportunity, but that opportunity is gonna be a computer algorithm more than it is Like a person.

[Tyler]

Yeah, maybe, maybe you're right.

[Dick]

That's just the way that shit works now.

[Tyler]

Everybody's been calling it the LA handshake, just exchanging Instagrams.

[Dick]

Oh yeah, yeah. But that's all like kind of bullshit. I mean, that's good. That stuff is good for like. Yeah, I mean that's all bullshit. That stuff is good for like you want to have friends and you want to be around other people or else you go insane. But it's not going to like do anything for your career.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I've learned definitely I'm not a social media guy.

[Dick]

So I have learned over the course of, of navigating whatever career I've had doing this. Actually, actually that's not, it's not entirely true. I have, I have a few key like business relationships that are like insanely helpful for me. Most of the rest of them are like, you know, not that impo. I only had. There's like, I, there's like a few people like business wise that have been really helpful, but most of that, most of the time, you know, what I've learned is that like, I think I used to think that like, like some, some like manager or something like comes and they gives you success, but your continued success in any kind of creative industry is going to come as a result of the things that you're making, not people, you know. So I think people like. No, like knowing certain people and having certain folks in your corner is, can be super helpful for like elevating you and doing other things. But at the end of the day it's like you got to make. It's about the stuff you're making. So. Yeah, and you can make stuff from anywhere on the planet. You know, I mean, I started doing this from in. I thought about this a lot because I started doing this in the suburbs of Baltimore. You know, I didn't start doing this in Los Angeles or New York. You know, I met, I. And even the people that I met that like when I like those business relationships I was talking about, those are people I met online. There's people I met on the Internet too, you know, so like, they're not people I met at like, I have friends that I've met at like things I do in person. But in terms of like any kind of like people that have helped me out with, with building a career, they've all been. I can't think of a single person like that that I had, that I met in person. I met all those people again in my mom's basement.

[Tyler]

Yeah. And me too. I definitely have had like lasting friendships and business relationships even to this day. Part of the reason I came down here is like some of my, my strongest relationships are down here and so to some extent I wanted more proximity with them. But one thing that is worth mentioning is that my music and the art that I express has a, a really big performance artist aspect to it. And strangely I've gotten a lot of like a lot of opportunities just from people liking me on stage. You know, I'm not sitting here saying that I got this, you know, the hardest bars and like the best mixing and all these things, but you know, I kind of have, without tooting my own horn, I kind of win people over. And yeah, yeah, I've gotten some really big opportunities just by showing up, you know.

[Dick]

Yeah, but, yeah, but there's, but there again, you know, there's stages all over the place. You know, you can get, there's stages in all the other cities that I mentioned. You know, there's really good. I'm going to give a shout. I'm going to give a shout out. I'm going to give a shout out to someone. I've never, I've never met her but I think we follow each other on, on the Internet. There's this comedian, she, I think she's Japanese or she lives in Japan. Her name is Yuri Collins and I follow her on Instagram and her career is really interesting because I think she like, she lives in Tokyo where there's not Shout out, the Tokyo Comedy Bar. They're great but they're the only game in town. You know, people don't move to Tokyo to, yeah, for comedy to become big comedy stars. But you know, this woman, Yuria, she like started building an online presence through I think mainly through you know, clips and whatnot that she put out by performing at this one place in fucking Tokyo. And I, and it's been cool to see her on social media like building a career, living in a place that wasn't meant to be. Like the big, you know, it's not living in a place where people don't go to start their careers. And you know, as someone who again started a career in a place that's not a big major city.

[Tyler]

He's a comedian that's working remote. That's very impressive.

[Dick]

Yeah, pretty much. I mean it's what. But she's performing and I'm springing her up and I bring this stuff up to bring up that, you know, you can also have a performance based career that doesn't have to necessarily be in a New York or LA or Nashville or whatever the fuck. But anyway. And I don't. And it's like. Feels glaringly obvious to me, but I don't think it's caught on to a lot of people yet who are trying to do stuff. What's your name again? Tyler. Tyler. Tyler. Tyler.

[Jaden]

Tyler.

[Dick]

Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

[Tyler]

Hi, Mom. That's about it.

[Dick]

Tyler forever.

[Jaden]

All right, brother.

[Tyler]

Have a good day.

[Dick]

Hey, you too, man.

[Jaden]

Peace.

[Dick]

That was Tyler. I hope people are enjoying these conversations about career and life and stuff. That is a tough thing because, like, yeah, there's some jobs that are just fucking all encompassing, you know? And then it's like, I used to. Back when I went out to open mics in Philadelphia and stuff, I used to meet people and I used to be like, how are you alive? New York and LA are the capital of, like, you go to some, like, artsy thing or some place and you're like, how are you alive? How do you afford to eat food and live and stuff? I guess they figure it out. I don't know. Hey, folks, if any of you guys are creators on TikTok, you're gonna want to know about this. TikTok is putting on a celebration spotlighting creators from all over the world called Live Fest 2025. I know a lot of people who listen to this show or call into this show are creators of some kind. You guys do all sorts of stuff. Life coaching, making funny sketches, making music. Whatever it is you do on TikTok, doing it with TikTok Live is a great way to engage with your community and grow your audience. And this year's Live Fest is a great opportunity to show the world what whatever it is that you do best, you can take home real trophies and walk down the red carpet at TikTok's annual awards ceremony. So whether you're just starting out on TikTok or already growing your community, check out LiveFest2025 on TikTok to find out how you can be a part of this global celebration. Let's elevate live together.

[Jaden]

Shh.

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[Dick]

Hello.

[Deja]

Hi.

[Dick]

Hi. What's your name?

[Deja]

I'm Deja.

[Dick]

Deja, what's going on, Deja?

[Deja]

Yeah, you know, just on a walk right now, hanging out. I texted you was walking my dog earlier but now it's just me. Anyway, I don't know, I just lost my job and so that's always fun. I'm kind of in a weird spot right now where I don't know, I feel like I've had a lot of like stability that I've never felt before the last like five years. And now suddenly it all kind of feels like I'm on the cusp of like things changing completely for me and I don't know what direction or how it's gonna go, but it's just, I don't know, in a weird limbo right now.

[Dick]

Yeah, that's what you texted me and you said that things are about to change forever in your or that they're about to change drastically and you're spooked about it. Is that primarily the driven by the job loss or is there like other stuff happening?

[Deja]

Other stuff for sure. I've been like working on building a business for the last like year or so with my cousin for I do interior design and then also I think the scariest part is I'm pretty sure my like long term partner and I are gonna split up soon. So it's just kind of a lot of things at once, you know.

[Dick]

Mm hmm. How are things going with the, the business that you've been building?

[Deja]

Slow. I'm in school still and then I was also working so it's just mostly been like, you know, whenever I have Free time, meeting up, doing a lot of back end stuff. But I do have my first paying client, which I'm very excited about. It is like a friend of mine, but it's still something.

[Dick]

Mazel tov.

[Deja]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Dick]

What was the impetus of the job loss?

[Deja]

So I was at a. I was a server and a manager at a restaurant, and the restaurant was open for 13 years, and then I was there for almost five. And they gave us four days notice to tell us that they were closing the restaurants. So we all kind of got laid off out of nowhere, which was pretty shitty.

[Dick]

What's going on with your partner?

[Deja]

See, that's the big one.

[Dick]

That's the big one.

[Deja]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's all big, but it's just, you know, that is something I've been, I don't know, a little avoidant of because I don't exactly have the financial freedom. We live together, so it's not like I'm in like a shitty, abusive relationship or anything, which I'm thankful for.

[Dick]

Yeah.

[Deja]

But it's just kind of. I don't know. We've been together three and a half years. We moved in together after knowing each other for like a couple months and it was just like a relationship, like. Just never experienced anything like that before. And I don't know, I think we're just, you know, the classic growing apart just kind of feels like. I don't know, I feel like I have a, like this reoccurring lesson in my life that I keep having to learn over and over again. And every time I learn it, I think I'm good and then something else comes to, like, push that line back a little. Does that make sense?

[Dick]

That makes a lot of sense.

[Deja]

Yeah.

[Dick]

I'm familiar with the reoccurring lesson that one thinks they have learned and then they actually haven't. They. They one and they meaning me and I. So what's the lesson that you feel like you keep learning?

[Deja]

I mean, I think it. It boils down to boundaries, but I think that, I don't know, I had.

[Jaden]

A.

[Deja]

Let'S say a difficult childhood. My parents were young, shouldn't have had kids, had a lot of kids, did a lot of drugs. So I think that a lesson that I had to learn when I was like, I don't know, 18, 19 was, I guess, what unconditional love means to me. And, you know, knowing how. Learning how to like, love someone from afar if they're not. If having them close to you isn't, you know, beneficial or even neutral.

[Jaden]

So if that makes sense.

[Dick]

Yeah. So, like, this guy was kind of pushing your boundaries in some sense, or, like, there was a sense of like, oh, I still love this person, but I have. I got to do it from afar.

[Deja]

Yeah. Yeah. So. So I think that. I don't know. I think, like I said, like, the first time I learned this lesson, it was, like, dramatic, very clear lines like, you can't have your homeless dad sleeping in your front yard. You gotta fucking, you know, set some boundaries here. And then so on and so forth and just little shit like that. And it feels like every time I'm like, okay, I'm good. This. I'm in a. I'm in a healthy relationship, things have gone well. I've been very happy the last few years, but now it's, like, obviously less dramatic things that I'm learning. Okay, well, this needs to be a boundary, too. So it's just weird going from, like, such a dramatic version of that and, like, feeling freed from that. Like. I don't know. From the feeling of. I don't know. I don't know. Do you hear what I'm trying to say?

[Dick]

Yeah. Because the first time you learn a lesson, it's very in your face, and you're very. Yeah, yeah. It's very, like, obvious the first time you learn the lesson. Like, yeah, you know, you can't let your dad sleep in a tent on your lawn. And then when you learn the lesson again, it's like a frog and boiling water and it's a little bit trickier, and you're like, oh, shit. I didn't even realize that I was. You know, I thought that when I thought. When I learned. I thought that learning a lesson means that my brain and body naturally chart waters in a different way. I didn't realize it meant I have to actually do different. I have to actively make different decisions. That fucking sucks. That's annoying. I thought my. I thought it was like, a Fuck. I thought I'm like a Pokemon learning a new move or something like that. I didn't realize I have to. I don't want to have to do any work.

[Jaden]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dick]

It's. Yeah, life's annoying like that. Yeah, lessons are annoying like that.

[Jaden]

Yeah.

[Deja]

Yeah.

[Dick]

And not.

[Deja]

Not even really in the sense that, like, you know, that I. I've. I have done a lot of work. I'm not saying you. You were saying I wasn't.

[Jaden]

But.

[Deja]

So it's, like, even more annoying to like, put in a ton of, like. Like, I dropped out of school for a few years. So that I could, like, focus on, like, getting my together. And so, like, earlier when I was saying, like, this is like the first time I've kind of had stability because I, like, I've worked really hard to get that stability. And, you know, I've got like, my own place, my own job, got a dog, a cat, lovely little life. And now suddenly I'm in this place of comfort and it's not so comfortable anymore. And so it's just like, even, Even more frustrating to, like, put in all that work to get to a spot where, like, I thought I wanted to be. And it's not. Not working out in the way that I had hoped.

[Dick]

So I. I guess if we're learning this lesson again, what is it? What does it look like? Like, like. So, I mean, the place of stability that you've been in for the past five years, like, did you have any qualms about it?

[Jaden]

Um.

[Deja]

I don't know. I know. I mean, I'm. I'm like, overall pretty positive person. I try not to, you know. I don't know. No, I mean, it's not.

[Jaden]

No.

[Deja]

Short answer.

[Jaden]

No.

[Dick]

Okay. So you liked your. You liked your life, and it was kind of. So you liked your life as it was, and then things happened to. To rock the boat.

[Deja]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jaden]

So.

[Deja]

Okay, I see what you're saying. Yeah. I think, like, particularly with the relationship, it's not like there's been like a dramatic change or anything that's like, different. It's just kind of, you know, I don't know if you've been in like a. I wouldn't even. I don't know if I'd call three years long term, but some people call.

[Dick]

Three years long term.

[Deja]

Okay, but in like, a longer term relationship, there's your issues, you start to bicker, you start to argue, and then it's your job to figure out how to not do that if you want to, you know, be happy. So I think it's just a lot of little things and sort of slowly realizing that, like, the person I'm with, even though I like, I love them with my whole being, is just not supporting me in the ways that I, like, see myself needing support. If we were to continue on for however many years.

[Dick]

Yeah, well, I don't want to be all toxic positivity on you. I don't. Because it sounds like this is all, like, happening kind of immediately. But I think the good news, and I really can only speak from, like, my own personal life experience, is that, like, in times in which, like, there's been transitional periods, and things have been uncertain and foundations have been rocked. It's. It's hoi. It sucks. It's. It's really. Yeah, it's really bad. But at least in my life, I've always. I've always found my way to get back to something. And so I feel pretty confident that it's possible that when the foundations are rocked, that there's something on the other side of it. So I think there's something on the other side of it. It's basically what I'm trying to say. Not to be all toxic positivity about it. You know, there's a grief to be grieved, but, you know, it's cool. I mean, there'll be a new. There's new people, there's new places, there's new things to set up shop. Last I was freaking out last night. I was thinking about just. I get anxious, and I always think about ways in which the foundations of my life could be rocked, and then I think about ways in which I could fix them, and then the days go by, and at some point, I die. But until then, it's like, all right, I'll be in whatever I am until I'm not in it anymore, you know?

[Deja]

Yeah.

[Dick]

I don't know if helpful in any way, shape or form sounded like kind of nonsense.

[Deja]

No, I mean, no, absolutely. I'm definitely. I don't know. I try to, you know, focus on my foundations that are. I don't know. I. I think the people in my life, I try to view more as, like, the foundations of my life rather than, like, you know, where I live or what job I have.

[Dick]

Yeah, of course.

[Deja]

I think, like, my family and my friends are just, like, the most important. And I, you know, I still got those guys. So I'm not, like. I'm not freaking out necessarily. I just kind of know that this change is coming. And I know it is gonna probably suck for a little bit, but I. I'm confident that, you know, I'm capable. I've, you know, dug myself out of worse holes, so I'm not. I'm not worried about things that people should be worried about.

[Dick]

Yeah, well, take that. Yeah. And by the way. And by the way, you earned. You earned that. Just so you know. You earned that shit, you know? Yeah, you are. You earned. The reason why. The reason why you're not worried about things that people should be worried about is because you earned. Through your own actions and decisions throughout your life, you built yourself into the kind of person that doesn't need to worry about those things because you got it. So you. Whatever confidence you have for the future, it's. It's. Don't trick yourself into believing it's foolish. You know, it's something you earned or else you wouldn't have it.

[Deja]

Yeah.

[Dick]

That'S my. That's my therapy geckoing of that. What's your name again?

[Deja]

Deja.

[Dick]

Deja, Is there any other way in which I can be helpful to this conversation?

[Deja]

You know, not that. Not that I'm aware of. I know everyone says this when they get on, but I'm a big fan. Been listening for a while.

[Dick]

Thanks.

[Deja]

In Phoenix. So this is.

[Dick]

Oh, hell, yeah.

[Deja]

Talk to you?

[Jaden]

Yeah, Hell, yeah.

[Dick]

Did you. Were you at the one where the guy hit someone with his car?

[Deja]

Oh, like, actually or told a story about it?

[Dick]

Well, he told us he's told a story about it. He didn't, like, do it in the parking lot or anything like that.

[Deja]

I don't. Truly don't really remember. I was the most recent one you were here for. I think there was, like, a girl talking about her stepdad or something.

[Dick]

Okay, yeah, that sounds like. That sounds.

[Deja]

But I had a great time. Went with my brother. It was sick.

[Dick]

Yeah. Yeah. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

[Deja]

Oh, okay. I've thought about this, actually.

[Dick]

Yeah.

[Deja]

This might be annoying. You don't have to do this. But I just want you to know that. That I think that you would do a really good Jerry Seinfeld impression.

[Dick]

Ah, fuck.

[Deja]

You don't have to do it.

[Jaden]

But I think about that.

[Dick]

Why do you. Why do you. Why do you think I would do a really good Jerry Seinfeld impression?

[Deja]

I don't know. Something about, like, when you're in the moment, you get a little. Your voice raises an octave, and I think that if you worked on it, you could do a really good one.

[Dick]

Okay. All right, I'll. Okay, I'll think about that.

[Jaden]

I'll think about that.

[Dick]

Yeah.

[Deja]

Yeah.

[Dick]

Thank you for letting me. Thank you for giving me the confidence to know that I could potentially do something, even if that thing is a Jerry Seinfeld.

[Deja]

Anytime.

[Dick]

Have a good one, Deja.

[Deja]

All right, you too.

[Dick]

No, I don't think I'm gonna do it. I don't think I'm gonna try. No, I don't think I'm gonna try. I don't have a thing. So what does he say? What's, like, one of his jokes? Does anyone know one of his jokes? Maybe if I knew one of his. No, I don't know. I don't think I'm gonna do it, George. Ah, all right. No. Okay, let's end the. We're gonna end the podcast. Hello folks, it's Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But get this, I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right, an entire extra hour of the podcast that you can listen to by becoming a premium member of Therapy gecko over at therapygecko.supercast.com Supercast subscribers get access to bonus episodes. They get a completely ad free podcast feed of the regular show. They get recordings from my live shows, members only streams, and they help support my ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's a clip from this week's members only bonus episode.

[Tyler]

We went and looked at engagement rings.

[Dick]

And then we go to my mom's.

[Tyler]

House and I mentioned that I'm looking for engagement rings with her.

[Dick]

We're talking about rings.

[Tyler]

And then my mom is like, oh, that reminds me. And then she, that she continues to like go on this probably a 20 minute tangent about how my ex just.

[Dick]

Got married and she's been like stalking.

[Tyler]

My ex on Facebook and whatnot, like.

[Dick]

Still keeping up with her and I.

[Tyler]

Hadn'T been with her for like three or four years and she was telling me all about her wedding, all about.

[Dick]

Their pictures and what their venue looked.

[Tyler]

Like and didn't even like bother to ask us like anything about our experience.

[Dick]

That's crazy.

[Tyler]

Good. Wild. It's wild.

[Dick]

She taught you. You. That's crazy. Crazy, bro. You. You revealed that you're getting married and then your mom was like, oh, that reminds me, I was stalking your ex on Facebook about her wedding. That's fucking crazy. If you want to hear this full conversation, you can sign up to become a premium member@theapy gecko.supercast.com or find the link in the episode Description. That's therapy gecko.supercast.com Alright, I have nothing else to say.

[Jaden]

Shh.

[Dick]

You won't believe what my new friend.

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[Dick]

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[Dick]

You guys are creators on TikTok, you're going to want to know about this. TikTok is putting on a celebration spotlighting creators from all over the world called Live Fest 2025. I know a lot of people who listen to the show are creators of some kind, and whatever it is you guys do on TikTok, doing it with TikTok Live is a great way to engage with your community and grow your audience. So check out LiveFest2025 on TikTok to find out how you can be a part of this global celebration. Let's elevate Live Together. This is an iHeart podcast.