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Lyle
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Mike
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Lyle
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Lyle
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Mike
Call from Mike hello? Hello?
Lyle
What's up, man?
Mike
Hey, man. Is this Lyle?
Lyle
Sure is. Who is this?
Mike
My name is Mike.
Lyle
Mike, baby, what's going on? Hit me.
Mike
Oh, you know, just living, man. What's going on with you?
Lyle
What's going on with me? Dude, I don't know. I'm all over the place. I'm a little crazy. You know what I hate is this is not your fault. By the way, this has nothing to do with you, but have you ever been in a situation where you feel insane and you're in like a normal human being situation and someone asks how you're doing and you're not supposed to say, I'm. I'm in. I feel insane. And so you say, this happens to
Mike
me like all the time?
Lyle
Yeah. Yeah. What do you do? What. What normal human being situations are you normally in?
Mike
I mean, I guess like normal human situation. I'm a. I'm a school teacher and I interact with like 13 to 15 year olds all the time and they just say the most ridiculous stuff and half the time it's like kind of funny and I want to react like, oh, that was funny. But half the time it's not funny. And I'm like, why on earth did that just come out of your mouth? But you can't say that. Most of the time you can't say that.
Lyle
Okay, that's. That. See, that's you. Because you can't, like, you can't trauma dump on the 13 year old. Like, if a 13 year old has asked how you're doing, you can't show any sign of like. And I'm kind of going insane right now. You really, you really can't?
Mike
No. You have to be like the rock in the room for sure.
Lyle
Yeah, you have to be the rock in the room for sure. But also I feel like something about being around something, you know, is interesting. I feel like in that position, right. I feel like you, even if you're having an insane day, I feel like you naturally become the rock in the room, even if you're having an insane.
Mike
Right. It's almost like grounding. But then that process is like super wearing, I think. So like sometimes like, I'll get out of work and I'll come home, I'll be talking like my family and I'm just like, I can't. That's. That's like normal human stuff where I'm like, okay, I can't function right now and you're expecting me to function right now and it's not working the way they want it to, you know?
Lyle
Yeah, but, but being. Being like having to teach a classroom of kids, I feel like something that does like that, that must like, just do something to your system where you're like, naturally. Because that happens to me too, where like certain situations just kind of demand me to be a normal human being. And, and it's not like I'm not putting in. And it feels like I'm not having to put an effort to it because my brain and my body are just like naturally adapting to the necessity of that.
Mike
Almost like going through the most. Like you're on like autopilot or something.
Lyle
A little bit. Yeah, a little bit. What kinds of shit are the kids saying these days?
Mike
Honestly, it's so much just like brain rot garbage that it's like hard to be around it sometimes. Like act like a serious. I teach English, so I talk a lot about like literature and I'll ask like a serious question, like a deep question, you know, I'm like, oh, this is gonna be so good. We're gonna have like a great Conversation. And a kid will just raise their hand and be like, yeah, what do you think? Like six, seven? Please.
Lyle
Are they still doing six, seven?
Mike
Oh, dude. It's like the. I don't even know if it's. I think it's ironic at this point, but it's become. It's gone from like a real meme to like an ironic meme. It hasn't run its course.
Lyle
I would have thought it ran its course by now.
Mike
It's so stupid. Like, I don't know. There was a period where everyone was like, that's so last year. But still, it's still like the most prominent one.
Lyle
I would say, like, when you're about to. When you're like, okay, everyone, your homework tonight is to read chapter six. Are you like, fuck, they're gonna say it?
Mike
Yeah, of course, of course. Absolutely. They're like, what page are we supposed to be on? Even if it's like, I'd be like 56. Like 56, 7. Like, there's no escaping it. There's no escaping it at. I was talking to a co worker that math teachers in the same boat. Like, obviously that comes up all the time for them.
Lyle
Oh, no.
Mike
I was like, I don't envy it. I don't envy it.
Lyle
Oh, no. Being the math teacher. Being the math teacher in the 67 era, that's crazy.
Bob
Yeah, man.
Lyle
Okay, so, well, shit, what'd you want to talk about today, man, if anything?
Mike
I actually was like thinking about that when I saw that you were recording and taking calls and I was like, I don't know. It kind of relates back to what we were just talking about because I feel like I'm trying really hard to be a human and do a good job at it, but I feel like I'm getting caught sometimes in between, like, the balance of trying to do day to day like normal, but also wanting to do, like, fun stuff. Like, my job opens up a lot of time, especially in like the summers I teach in the United States, obviously with off in the summertime and like to travel a lot. But I also feel like now I'm kind of coming into this part of my life where I'm like, I kind of have to save money and traveling can be pretty expensive, even if you're frugal.
Bob
So I'm like, I don't know.
Mike
But that's what I wanted to talk about is like, kind of coming into that, like, I turned 27 yesterday and like looking at him like, okay. The kids love to call me Unk. They're like, you're old as fuck, dude. I'm like, yeah, I don't feel old but like also I do feel old. You know what I mean?
Lyle
Yeah, I do know. You mean. I mean I'm 28 and do I feel. No, I don't really feel. I mean we're still in our twenties. I mean you ever meet like a thirty something year old? Like they're.
Mike
Yeah, most of my co workers are a lot older than me and I know he's like funny too because like most of them are like settled, they have kids and I don't have any kids or anything yet. So I always think like that. I listen to your podcast all the time like always like yeah, that's true. When you're like, you know, you have kids and then your life changes. Like I'm not there yet but I'm like at the cusp of it. It feels like, you know, interesting.
Lyle
No, I don't actually think 30 is that old. I mean I don't think any of like every age you think. I mean I have, I was reading a journal of mine the other day where I was like, I was like I turned 23 today and I feel old. So you can, I mean you can feel old at any age. And yeah, we are, we are. The problem is that we are getting to a point. I mean we're still chillin for like a pretty long while but we are getting to a point where you have to make certain major like you kind of, you do at some point have to declare a major in terms of like.
Mike
Right, yeah, like that analogy.
Lyle
Well it's, it freaks me out a little bit because I'm like yeah, at some point you do have to like decide certain things like are you going to have kids? Are you going to be with this person or are you going to find somebody else? Are you going to you know, try to do this career or try to do that career and you can look, you can change it up, you can like, you know, you can start doing something or start. I mean my parents were in a crappy marriage for 11 years and then they broke up and got remarried in their late 40s to. And you know, they had you know, 20 something years of like great time with their current people. And so I. Life can take on a variety of stuff but I do, I do, I am a little wary of like oh, you have time to do this, that and the other thing. Cause I always feel like I don't have time to do shit. I mean I feel like I speed ran a lot of my Life in a good way.
Mike
I kind of get that. Yeah, I definitely get that.
Lyle
But I did that because I never felt like there was enough. Like, there's only now. That's all. That's all. That's all that.
Mike
Like, I get that a lot too. And I feel like that's kind of what I was. What I was thinking about when I was saying, like, I'm at this, like, struggle with a balance type point where it's like, I try to be very, very now oriented, but I'm also at this, like. Like we just said, like, like this cusp. And I guess that could occur at any given time in your life, but like, the cusp of like, okay, what is next? Like, I do have to plan for a future a little bit. Like, you can't. At least. I feel like I can't just make, like, decisions. But then it's like, sometimes stupid decisions are fun.
Lyle
So you do. I agree and I listen. I've made stupid decisions that are very fun. And I don't. I don't. I have no regrets for any. I mean, I. There are things in my life that I wish. I. There are things in my life that I. I wish there was a different word that I could use than regret, because I don't. Like, regret is. Is. I'm kind to myself in the sense that, like, I'm aware that, like, I'm aware of my, like, human finitudes. And then my human finitudes are the, You know, kind of drive most of my actions. And I. And I like looking at. And I, you know, you analyze the past so that you don't repeat mistakes. I've made so many. I've made tons of mistakes, but I don't have any. Like. But like, I got to do a lot of great stuff and, like, I'm very grateful for my life. Like, if you may, if you make me really look at it and if you make me look at it when I'm in the throes of, like, my anxiety or depression, then I'll look at it like, fuck. I, you know, did this say the other thing? But if you make me look at it when I'm feeling good, I'll be like, yeah, I got to, you know, this was. This was awesome.
Mike
Yeah, I get that. I totally get that.
Lyle
I don't know.
Mike
I feel like I get that thought often of, like, is, you know, do. Do you have regrets? It's like, I feel like I'm in that same boat what you were talking about of, like, I don't feel like I have regrets. There's definitely things where I'm like, you know, how would that have turned out? Or like, you know, what would have played out differently as like, learn from the mistakes or you know, try and try not to put yourself into positions that you don't want to be in the future. But like that idea of your current mood playing a big factor into that. Like I've been thinking a lot. My, my two siblings moved pretty far away, like across the country. And constantly, like, I'm very close with them. We talk pretty much, I would say at least two plus times a week on the phone and stuff. And they're always like, oh, come out. My one brother lives out in Texas. My, my brother, my sister lives in 10. See, they're like, oh, you gotta come out. Like, you know, don't, don't you think you could do something different? And blah, blah. I'm like, I don't know, like, I like what I'm doing right now a lot. But then like, also I've traveled around the country a number of times. I love road tripping and camping and stuff. I'm like, I've met so many cool people. Like, it would be there. Is that like, call to, Wouldn't it be amazing to just like pick up, start somewhere fresh, meet a bunch of new people, do something new and interesting and cool. But then it's like, then that other voice comes in, it's like, nah, like, no, don't do that. Like, you know, that would be a
Bob
lot of work, first of all.
Mike
Second of all, it'd be like pretty scary, like just starting over, especially being like rather set up for something. You know what I mean?
Lyle
Yes, I do know what you mean. It is scary to start over when you're rather set up for something. I mean, what, what, what would you think? What have you thought about starting over?
Mike
About like, I don't know. There was a pretty long period of time when I first started my job. I've been, I've been working for not the same exact school, but the same area for four years now. And like when I first started here, I was like, do I really want to do this? It's also like a big commitment. Like I'm from New York and like the teaching system is really good, but it's also like a pretty big commitment. If you start buying into like the retirement systems, like, you know, you're going to be there for 30 years. And I constantly have that thought where I'm like, damn, 30 years of my life. That's a long. I Mean, that's like, that could be. That could be almost. That could be all my life, you know? Who knows?
Lyle
Life. Yeah. Well, what else would you want to do?
Mike
Well, so that's like. I don't know, like, I've talked. It's funny. My sister and I have had this conversation because she also teaches, but she's like, kind of disillusioned with the state of things right now. And so she's like, intent. She's like, you could come down here, we should open a gym together. And like, it's alluring. I like going to the gym. I'm pretty active. But it's also something I have a zero experience in. So it's like kind of jokey between us. But I think like, part of her really wants to do it and part of me is like, that'd be kind of cool, you know, why not? What's stopping me? I'm not a dumb person. I could do that, but I don't know.
Lyle
Would that. Is that something you'd be interested in doing?
Mike
You know?
Bob
I don't know. I don't know.
Mike
I feel like this is like the idea of like, there's a lot of things I think would be interesting. I think that would have a lot of headaches attached to it. So, like, ultimately I don't think that something. Something I would do completely. But like, I don't know. I like, you know, that's very business oriented too. I like humanity. Like I said, I teach English, I like writing. I. I'm big into music. And like, I don't know. I've thought about that too. Like, I've done music in the past and like, I've made some stuff and put it out there and I'm like, that'd be cool. But then also, like, that's. I don't know if I would like that. Like, I. I don't know. I don't know. I love what I do. That's the thing is like, I have this conundrum where I'm like, would something else really be better? Kind of like when you have a good hand, do you want to, you know, try and trade it in for something even better?
Bob
I don't know.
Lyle
Yeah, I actually know exactly what you mean about like, yeah, the grass is kind of always greener on the other side, but also, yeah, I don't know. It's funny. I'm not going to pretend like I don't have answers to any of this shit because I'm like, also dealing with it right now where I'm like, I mean, I'm pretty happy with everything I've gotten to do with in my life, but, like, I, you know, I have a lot of existential dread about, like, oh, you know, am I like, like, shit, like, picking the right, like, romantic partner, Picking the right thing to do with your life and most. And like, like, career wise for me, I've been kind of, like, career wise for me, I've been kind of like, all right, let me do everything. You know, Like, I make these documentary. I make these documentaries. I do this podcast. I do my live shows. I like to perform. Right, really quick.
Mike
I'm coming to your live show in Brooklyn. I'm super excited.
Lyle
Oh, cool, man. Awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome, cool. Yeah, fucking shout out.
Mike
Yes, sir.
Lyle
Yeah, but I'm. And I'm like, oh, fuck. Should I, like, should I stop doing this podcast so I can just focus on making those documentaries? You know, Should I, like, start, like, focusing harder on that? Or can I, like, can I, like, you know, manage doing everything? Because it all feeds into itself. You know, I have dreams of, like, I, you know, I used to dream about, like, opening a venue, and then part of me is like, well, you know, I'm only 28. Maybe that's like a project, you know, in 12 years from now when I have, you know, more money or like, right. I've. Career wise, I'm kind of like, well, fuck it. Let me just fucking, like, do everything. You know, it's actually, for me, it's. It's a lot like the personal stuff that is. Weighs on me. The stuff where, like, it's like, how do you find. How do you pick the right partner? How do you make sure that, like, you know, when's the right age to have kids? You know, like one person?
Mike
Dude, I've been getting that, like, crazy recently. Not necessarily the kids thing per se, but, like, I'm the oldest of my siblings, and both of my siblings in the past six months have gotten engaged and are, like, getting ready to go and, like, take this next step in their life. And I'm like, you know, like, I said, like, I like what I'm doing. I'm very content, honestly. But, like, I look at that and I'm like, damn, am I, like, am I behind? And, like, I get that question. I'm like, no, no, no, no. Like you said, like, I got a lot of time. I'm like, at 27, I'm not that old. But then I feel old and I'm like, dang. And then they're doing it younger. It's like, am I. What's the right thing to do? And is there a right thing to do? I don't think there is, but. I don't know. This is the question, the conversation I've been having. You know what I mean?
Lyle
Yeah, no, I know exactly what you mean, man. I have all the same crazy. I have all the same insane anxieties. I wish I. I wish I didn't. It's. I. It gives me a ton of anxiety. I think it gives a lot of people a ton of anxiety. That's what. You know what's funny about America, dude, is we just have, like, fudgeing problems of abundance. It's so funny because, like, we were li. If we were living in, like, I'm gonna say, I don't even, like, eight, early 1900s India or whatever. Like, we would just be, like, arrange. Married when we were, like, you know, like, fucking, like, 18. And then, like, that would.
Mike
Yeah, we.
Lyle
And then we would just, like, have to make it work. The problem set would be extraordinary. I mean, there would be, you know, resentments, and there'd be a whole other problem set. Right. But it's like, right. We wouldn't. We have all this, like. I feel like. I feel like in America, we just have all these, like, problems of, like, abundance that cause us anxiety, you know? Yeah, I don't. I don't know what the right answer is, dude. I. I'm.
Mike
Dude, I don't either, honestly. That's like. I get into that sometimes, too, with, like, students. Like, you know, the ones I'm close with might ask similar questions. Like, you know, especially kids that get super anxious about stuff, they'd be like, oh, like, you know, it just feels like I shouldn't even be feeling these things because, like, you know, realistically, my problems aren't that biggest even compared to, like, other people here. And it's like, yeah, like. But doesn't mean your problems don't exist.
Bob
Like, I don't know.
Mike
It's a. Again, it's like that question of balance that I. That I keep bringing up. It's like, you know, there's. There's definitely some degree of, like, you know, it's real because it's right in front of you. And, like, the hypotheticals are.
Bob
Are huge.
Mike
But then, I don't know. You don't want to get lost in, like, that infinite possibility type thing.
Lyle
Yeah, you don't. I mean, I did. Shit. There was something I was gonna say just now. Oh, yeah. I was talking to a friend about this today. Like, you know, I'm, you know, do. Another thing is, like. Like, as you get older, you have all these people who you kind of look up to, who you feel like have like, shit figured out, right? Like, I mean, starts with your parents. Starts with your parents, right?
Mike
Yeah.
Lyle
And you get old, then you get older, and you realize that your parents don't know what the fuck they're talking
Mike
about or what they're doing for real.
Lyle
And then. And then I have, like. There's, like. There's, like, people that I really, like, looked up to when I was a kid, and I still, you know, have respect for them and their work and, you know, in the same way that I have respect for my parents and stuff, right? I've met, you know, like, through doing my work, I've met a lot of people that I was, like, a fan of when I was, like, you know, in my, like, teens and early 20s. And I'm like, oh, this is just some fucking guy. Like, this is just, like, some fucking guy. And then also, like, I'm a guy who people are a fan of, and I look at me and I'm like, I'm just some fucking douchebag. I don't know what the fuck's going on and. Oh, God, nobody.
Mike
Nobody.
Lyle
No, I know. Literally. I'm sure you actually. No, no, I'm sure you do, because you're a teacher, and so you have to be the rock.
Mike
This conversation. Yeah, I'm not even kidding. Like, verbatim, this conversation. I teach a philosophy class as, like, an elective, which is really fun. And, like, most of that, this is, like, older kids, too. I teach at a small school, so I teach, like, high schoolers. We had this conversation the other day, and it's funny because, like, a lot of these kids are getting ready to graduate high school, and, like, they're going to graduations and prom and all these things are talking about going to college. And then something came up where they were like, oh, sorry, this is my last name. I don't know if I. I don't know if it's going in the podcast or anything, but appreciate it wasn't out there.
Lyle
Brandon, let's cut out his. Let's cut out his last name.
Mike
They're like, you know, we're going to college. Like, should we have a college experience? And I'm like, first of all, like, I don't think it's appropriate to be talking about this, but, like, like, I went to college, obviously, and, like, I engaged in a college experience to some degree. But, like, I also learned My decisions about that. I gave him all this advice about.
Lyle
Wait, hold on. Well, another thing is, well, are you equating a college experience? Because the way you're talking about. Are you equating a college experience with, like, what, getting, like, drunk and.
Mike
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're asking about, like, parties and, like, you know, what it. What it's like to go and, like, they were asked about, like, fraternities and stuff like that. I wasn't part of a fraternity or anything, but, like, obviously I experienced some of that being around the demographic and whatnot. But eventually I ended up telling him, like, guys, you know, like, what I. What I discovered is, you know, I wasn't really a fan of that environment. I would get super anxious. I thought it was kind of like a waste of my own time. Like, I. I had more fun doing stupid things with my friends. Like, we weren't. I wasn't a person that would do stuff like that, you know, And I gave him all this advice, and I was like, you know, I started looking into things that I thought were, like, more in line with, like, what I liked and whatever. And a lot of the kids, like, a couple of them were like, man,
Bob
like, you know, they're kind of.
Mike
They. They. I think that's a pretty big norm in America is like, you know, go to college at the college, experience, have freedom, do whatever you want. Like, you know, And I was, like, kind of telling them not to, and, like, not even, because, you know, I'm trying to be a professional at that point. Like, I was just, like, giving them my honest opinion. And I was like, guys, like, I'm just some dude. Like, I don't know what I'm talking about. This is what works for me. Like, yeah, exactly.
Lyle
Yeah.
Mike
I don't feel like an adult most of the time. And you guys are looking up to me like, I've got all the answers. Like, I don't know.
Lyle
No, exactly. No, exactly. You feel the same exact thing. Because it's like, you're who all these kids look up to as, like. Like a. Like, you're, like. You're a real adult. You're the rock in the room. You're, like, level.
Mike
And I feel like I've got no. No clue what's going on.
Lyle
Yeah, dude.
Mike
A lot of the time.
Lyle
Yeah, dude. We all have no idea what's going on. And fuck was I going to say? But. But what you just said, right? Like, I did. What works for me is. That's the thing, right? Is there's no, like, objective, like, manual for everything. But there is the. Cool. The thing is. Is like, this thing where you kind of can look at what people are doing and kind of deride from that something. And it's like, okay, if all of the people I looked up to, like, my parents, you know, people, you know, whose work I admire, teachers, the. The, you know, whatever is that whoever and whatever is fucking out there, right? If all of that stuff is like, you know, I don't want to say an illusion is too bad. Like, I don't want to be doomer about it, but I think the answer is you look at all that stuff and you, like, kind of take it in as like, an aggregate of, like, these are all these people's learned experience. These are still. Even. Even if. Even, like, you know, my teacher, this podcast guy, you know, my parents, like, even if, like, they're at the end of the day, they're. They're just some dude or whatever, they still have lived experience, and they still have, like, you can still glean things for, like, that's what we're. That's what humanity is. We're all just, like, gleaning things from each other's learned, for sure experience.
Mike
I was talking to my brother about this the other day because you're talking about the, like, you know, he's like. I said, he's younger than me. He just got engaged recently. So we're talking about, like, next steps and whatever, and we talked about the idea of, like, the phrase coming into your own. And, like, I had never thought about it in these words up until that conversation, but I was like, dude, you know, that literally is exactly what you're doing as you get to be an adult. And like, you. You. I think, like, part of it is, like, you look at your parents, look at, like, your. Your role models, your teachers or, you know, whoever, and, like, you look at them like they're the model. But then you realize that, like. Like you said, like, you know, they're. They're flawed, they're confused, they're not perfect. So you realize that, like, you have no model. You kind of are the model.
Lyle
Like, you are the model. Yes.
Mike
Right? Yeah.
Bob
Yeah.
Mike
And so I was like, you know, that was. That was like, whoa. I was just gonna say something. I forgot what I was gonna say off my train of thought. But, like, that idea was pretty like, oh, shit. You know, there's no such thing as, like, a right choice as long as you're trying your best. Oh, I was gonna say being. Being the English nerd that I am. I was like, yo, it's like To Kill a Mockingbird, you know, do the best with what you have.
Bob
With what?
Mike
Like, you can get more sense, like, more experience and talk to as many people as possible and read as much as possible. Like, then you have more of that. The aggregate you're talking about to kind of go off of, like. That's, like, kind of cool.
Lyle
Oh, what's your name again, man? Or your fake name?
Mike
Mike.
Lyle
Mike. Well, Mike, I'm glad we had this conversation. I wish I still lived in a bubble. I wish. I wish. Actually, I don't. I try. I'm trying to have the. I'm trying to have the strength to deal with the loss of groundedness that
Bob
I
Lyle
have been experiencing. But, you know, I think we'll find it, Mike. I think we will find. I think we will. I think we will. I think we will find.
Mike
Or, like, become comfortable. Become comfortable with, like, the floating, you know, Like. Yeah, I think. I think what you said before is, like, that. That problem of, like, having too much, that's not a bad problem to have. I don't think that's kind of that bit, like, the balance, like, you know, get comfortable with, like, being able to do a lot and be happy. That. That's. That's kind of like, not a bad problem to be in.
Lyle
Exactly, exactly. It's. It's not a bad problem. You get to choose your own adventure. And that's a little scary, but also. But also nice.
Mike
Pretty amazing.
Lyle
Pretty amazing. Mike, is there anything else you want to say to the people, the computer, before we go?
Mike
Oh, dude, you asked us at the end of every call, and I didn't. I've never thought about what I would say.
Lyle
You can say no.
Mike
Yeah, no. I'd be like. I don't know, Be happy. Be happy and. And choose your own adventure.
Bob
I like it. Let's go with that.
Lyle
Hey, God bless you, man. I'll see you around the universe, Geck.
Bob
Bless you.
Mike
I'm super excited to see you in Brooklyn.
Bob
Super, super.
Lyle
Yeah. All right, I'll. I'll see you then, man. Take care.
Bob
All right.
Mike
Have a great night. See you again.
Lyle
Thanks, Mike.
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Jonas Brothers
Hey, it's us, the Jonas Brothers. And guess what? We have some big news.
Mike
What's the news?
Lyle
Huge news.
Jonas Brothers
We created our own podcast called hey Jonas.
Lyle
We invented a podcast.
Jonas Brothers
Well, we didn't invent it, we just contributed to it.
Lyle
We're the first people to do podcasts.
Jonas Brothers
Pretty wide range of podcasts starting a trend. But this one's extra special. So how did we. How do we actually come up with the name hey Jonas? Guys, I honestly don't remember.
Lyle
I think it was on a call
Jonas Brothers
about what we should call it and well, we were thinking I'm originally calling it one of the early names of our band before Jonas Brothers. This is how you guys remember it going down? Yes, I have a very different memory of this. We were talking about a thing a bit for the podcast where people could call in and say hey Jonas. And then I wrote down on my little notepad hey Jonas. And offered it up as a potential title for the podcast. But thanks for remembering that. Guys, listen to hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
Lyle
get your podcast, just listen. We don't care where you hear it. Hello.
Bob
Hello.
Lyle
Hi. Hello. What's up? What's your name?
Bob
I'm gonna call me Bob. Is this the Gecko man?
Lyle
This is the Gecko man, Bob. What's going on? How you doing?
Bob
I mean, shit, man, I'm doing. It's a day, okay?
Lyle
It's a day on the earth. We are people. What do you think, Bob? Should we. Should we do a show? Should we talk? Should we see what we can find out about each other in our. In a one on one conversation?
Bob
I don't see why not. Beautiful day out. Might as well.
Lyle
Yeah. Beautiful day to sit inside and podcast. I'm interested in you, Bob. Not like that. I'm interested in your brain. I want to know what's going on in it. And we're gonna get to the bottom of you for the next. However long I decide to. Or you decide to. You have equal. You have as much. The callers don't really realize this, but they have equal amount of power to hang up on me as I do on them. So both of us are going to be on this phone call for exactly as long as each other wants to.
Bob
All right, then.
Lyle
You sound excited. You sound thrilled.
Bob
Yeah, I mean, it's a little recent right now. I wasn't really expecting you to call. I mean, like, I know I like, texted and shit, but, like, you know, you text, but you don't ever expect to call back.
Lyle
You said. You said you texted me two years ago. Well, you text me a whole bunch of stuff. Oh, my God. You said. Okay, first of all, you said, I'm about to join the military and I'm scared. And then it's.
Mike
And then.
Lyle
And then recently you texted me. I still haven't figured out why I joined the military. So you were about to join the military, and now you're in it, and you were scared. Okay, so there's a lot. There's a lot going on. And then you also said for the past. Then two years ago, you said, for the past two years, I've been living a lie. Yeah, so that was. That was four years ago. Okay, so we have a lot. Do you want to talk about any of this? Do you want to have this conversation? I don't want to force you in a conversation you don't want to have.
Bob
Yeah, yeah, kind. Because, I mean, I don't know. I guess that's why I texted.
Lyle
Okay, I'm ready. I'M present. My phone is off. I. I turned my laptop screen, the brightness all the way down. I'm staring at nothing. I'm staring at the microphone. I'm trying. I'm gonna not get distracted. Let's. I'm locked in on you, Bob. Let's hit it. Okay, let's begin here. Let's start. Let's start two years ago.
Bob
Let's start two years ago with the. With the. I'm living a liar. I don't know why I'm.
Lyle
Tell me. Tell me. Let's start with that. Tell me why four years ago you were living a lie.
Bob
So pretty much that would have been after I got out of high school, I. I moved to Montana and did like a. Like a summer, like, work program thing over there for a ski resort, trying to just, like, you know, figure out life. And. And then I moved back to a college town because I told my. My parents that I was gonna start going to school. They're like, hooray, good job, honey. And so they. They, like, offered to. To pay for school and my living and. And food and all that. But I mean, like, the whole time, like, I was just not going to school, I was sort of just getting, like, super drunk, super high, and just up like, all day every day. And I felt bad because, you know, they were paying for all of it, and I was lying to them for the whole two years that I was doing that. And then at the end of that 2ish years, it kind of felt like that I couldn't keep the jig up anymore. So I'm like, it. I could always just join the military and. And have, like, a not. I don't. I don't want to say, like, a. An honorable way out because, like, it's not honorable at all. But I could have an easier way out instead of having to, you know, talk to my parents about how I've just been spending their money to get drunk and high all day for two years.
Lyle
Okay. And so then you were like, okay, so your parents were sending you to school and you weren't really going. But then I don't. I'm trying to understand how the. How to joining the military. Joining the military was like your. Your thing of like, oh, school's not working. I actually want to join the military. Instead of being. Yeah. Because of getting drunk all the time.
Mike
Yeah.
Bob
I. I just didn't want to have that conversation with my parents. So I'm like, all right, I can just do this. And they could see that as like, oh, you know, he this isn't working out for him. The soul. I don't know. But, yeah, I guess I just saw that as a more of a way out than having that talk with my parents.
Lyle
Okay, that was two years ago.
Bob
Yes.
Lyle
And you were afraid to join the military at the time. Why were you afraid?
Bob
I mean, dude, it's the military. Like, you don't. I don't. I don't know if I'm guessing. Did you. Were you ever in the military?
Lyle
No. Never in the military.
Bob
Yeah. So I don't know, I was kind of afraid just because I didn't know what it would be like. And when I was signing up for it, the whole time I was thinking, damn, am I, like, actually gonna get through with this? And then I got on the bus to go to the airport. I got on the plane, and I'm like, I'm really doing this. And when I got off the plane, they. They start yelling at you, like, in the airport to get on these buses. And then we rolled up to the front gate of the basic training, and I saw the flashing red and blue lights. I'm like, shit, I'm really doing this. And. Yeah, I mean, now I'm. Now I'm here. I'm at my. My first base, but. Yeah.
Lyle
And how has the past two years been?
Bob
I mean, it's. I don't. I don't want to say it's been bad because it hasn't, but it's just not what I. I guess envisioned my life to be like right now.
Lyle
How old are you?
Bob
I'm 21.
Lyle
21. Okay. How did you envision your life to be?
Bob
I don't know. I guess just not. And I guess traveling. I've always wanted to do that.
Lyle
Mm.
Bob
Maybe work at a bakery.
Lyle
Are you in one of those crazy military contracts?
Bob
What do you mean?
Lyle
Like, I know some people, like, who are in like six. Six year long military contracts.
Bob
No. So they're four and six year are like the. The standard contracts. But I signed a four year old, so I'll. I'll be getting. I'll be getting out in 2029. At the start of 2029.
Lyle
Okay. So. All right, so you'll be 24 by the time you're out of the military.
Bob
Yeah.
Lyle
Are you making any money? Are you saving anything?
Bob
I'm trying to, but I mean, dude talk. I've been. I've been big bashing lately. Going to Taco Bell. Have you tried their new, like, dessert empanada? Things like that?
Lyle
Crazy to me. That's crazy to me. That you can be in like, that the reason you can't save money is because of Taco Bell. Because it's not like Taco Bell's the whole point of. Dude, I'm sorry. This is, this is such a separate rant from what we're talking about, but it's so stupid that fast food is, like, expensive now. Like, that was supposed to be. The whole point is that it was, like, shitty and cheap.
Bob
Yeah. I went to McDonald's the other day and the. The McChicken is like two or three dollars.
Lyle
That's crazy.
Bob
I remember when it was a dollar. Life was good. Life was peace.
Lyle
Life was good. Life was good. Are you still drinking?
Bob
No, Not. Not every night. Like, like I was when I got here a couple months ago. Like when I first got to the base that I'm at now. I was drinking probably a 750 of whiskey like every two or three days maybe.
Lyle
What's a 750?
Bob
Three quarters of a literary.
Lyle
Okay. Oh, you're drinking that every day?
Bob
Not. Not. I would, I would finish a bottle of that every, like, two or three days.
Lyle
Okay, so you were drinking. You weren't drinking the whole bottle every day? You weren't drinking the whole bottle every day, but you were drinking every day?
Bob
Yeah, I was drinking a considerable amount. I was drinking enough to know that it wasn't healthy.
Lyle
How often are you drinking now,
Bob
really? Only on, like, special occasions. Like I'll be going to. I'll be going out of town next weekend for a tournament, so I'll probably drink then. But other than that, like, I don't really. I don't really drink like that anymore just because, A, it's expensive and B, it's not really healthy and it, I don't know, makes me fat.
Lyle
Cool. Yeah, dude. I make it a genuine. Congrats on that. It's hard to kick a habit, man. It's hard to kick a habit.
Bob
Yeah, you can get.
Lyle
You can lose so much time to that shit.
Bob
Yeah. I mean, I wasn't even really doing anything. I was drinking either. I was literally just sitting in my room alone, watching TV and playing Fortnite.
Lyle
And what's life like for you on base these days? What's like a day to day life?
Bob
And I kind of have the same, same routine. Wake up, go to the gym, get lunch, and then go to work after. So I work afternoon to, like, midnight. So I sort of have my mornings to myself. Cool. But like, it, it's. It's hard because all my friends are, you know, eight hours away. Back home, I can't really leave whenever I want to go see him. It's kind of hard making friends as an adult, I guess, but I think having shared experiences makes it easier.
Lyle
Now it's interesting to say that because I would think that the military is actually a decent way to make friends as an adult. Because you're like, I assume you're around a lot of people on a regular basis.
Bob
Yeah, I mean, I'm. I'm around the same people. Like, I'm. I'm friendly with them at work and stuff. Like, we don't really do anything outside of work, but I mean, there's not too much to do around me besides like, go to the beach.
Lyle
You said in your text, you said, I still haven't really figured out why I joined the military. What do you. That's something you're. Is this something you're kind of wrestling with?
Bob
I guess. I mean, like, I think I have a. An idea of. My parents found out, they would have stopped, like, paying my rent. I would have been homeless. Like, I guess that's a reason. But like, other than that, I can't really, like, find a deep, meaningful reason within myself. But I don't. I don't know if there has to be one, you know?
Lyle
How do you feel? You seem. I mean, you seem a little down.
Bob
I mean, do I think I'm. I don't know, I might be a little. A little depressed. But I. I kind of don't want to go to like a doc or anything about it because if I do, I'm afraid I might lose my security clearance and then I would.
Lyle
Oh, yeah, dude, that. That is so up. That's a. That's crazy. That's crazy.
Bob
It's like, it's like the same thing with pilots. Like, if they.
Lyle
Right.
Bob
If they're like, if they go like a therapist or anything, like they, they won't get medically cleared to. To fly. I. I'm pretty sure it's. It's kind of the same thing with the rest of the military, but I don't want to test it.
Lyle
Yeah. Damn. I'm sorry to hear that, man. That's a crazy situation to be in, but. Yeah, but. Okay, but that's, that's interesting to me because I would think that, like, I mean, the military is such a wide ranging thing. It's not one specific job. I would think that even if you can't get like it, like, it makes sense to me that there's certain positions in the military that you can't be diagnosed with certain health issues to do. Yeah, but I mean, there's got to be a wide ranging amount of positions within a military that you, you can do.
Bob
I mean, there definitely is, but I don't, I, I hate my job that I'm doing right now. So I'm trying to, once I hit my two year mark being in, I can switch jobs and the job that I want to switch to you to, you need a higher clearance and you have to go through more training. And if I, you know, if I like go to someone, there's a very high chance that I would get denied for that job if I transfer.
Lyle
Well, I'm glad you could. I'm glad that you could talk to the therapy gecko because I cannot, I will not, I will not strip you of your security clearance. Okay.
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Let's be honest. Buying cannabis shouldn't be complicated, sketchy or low quality. That's why I want to tell you about Mood.com. that's M-O-Ood.com Mood ships federally legal cannabis straight to your door. No medical card, no hassle. And here's the kicker. The quality is better than anything you'll find at your local dispensary. Yeah, I said it. Whether you're into edibles, concentrates, flour, or just looking to explore, you'll find it all at Mood. And it's not just the variety that makes them stand out. Every product is sourced from small American owned family farms that care deeply about what they grow. It's cannabis you can trust. Delivered discreetly and ready to elevate your mood. And because you're a listener, you get 20% off your first order. Just head to mood.com, that's M-O-Ood.com to get started.
Jonas Brothers
Hey, it's us, the Jonas Brothers. And guess what? We have some big news. What's the news?
Lyle
Huge news.
Jonas Brothers
We created our own podcast called hey Jonas.
Lyle
We invented a podcast.
Jonas Brothers
Well, we didn't invent it, we just contributed to it.
Lyle
First people to do podcasts.
Jonas Brothers
Pretty wide range of podcasts, but this one's extra special. So how did we. How do we actually come up with the name hey Jonas? Guys, I honestly don't remember.
Lyle
I think it was on a call
Jonas Brothers
about what we should call it, and, well, we were thinking. I'm originally calling it one of the early names of our band before Jonas Brothers. This is how you guys remember it going down? Yes. I have a very different memory of this. We were talking about a thing a bit for the podcast where people could call in and say, hey, Jonas. And then I wrote down on my little notepad, hey, Jonas, and offered it up as a potential title for the podcast. But thanks for remembering that. Guys, listen to hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
Lyle
Just listen.
Bob
We don't care where you hear it.
Lyle
So. Let's think through this. You said. Okay. You also said, my best friend hates me now.
Bob
Yeah, that guy. That guy hates my guts.
Lyle
Okay. Is that something you want to talk about?
Bob
I guess so. Yeah. I feel like a lot of people would relate to it maybe, but probably not.
Lyle
Okay. It's up to you.
Bob
But, yeah, we can talk about it. So back in. Back in high school, when I was. I think I was like, 15 or 16, this was my end of sophomore year going to junior year, and I was talking to this one girl that my best friend dated for, like, two months our freshman year. We're. Me and my boyfriend were in the same grade. So freshman year, he dated this girl for, like, two months. They broke up. They don't really talk after that. End of my sophomore year, going in junior year, I started talking to her. She came over, yada, yada, yada. Then, like, we stopped talking for a bit. And last. Yeah, I think it was last year, we. We picked up talking again, and things were, like, getting a little more serious. And I'm like, we should probably tell him. Like, it, you know, feels right because, you know, he dated you back in freshman year. And he's also my best friend. Like, it doesn't feel right. Feels like I'm keeping a secret. And so we told him and she. He sort of flipped his. Not really sure why. I don't get it. Because he, you know, he. He hadn't talked from my perspective, he hadn't talked to her in years. And so I didn't really see the. The big deal of it, but I guess he saw it differently. And now he. Yeah, he kind of flipped to. Blew up on me. He didn't talk to me for months. And then this New Year's, I went home and I met him out at a bar and he was like, oh, like you apologize saying all this like that. And in my head I'm thinking, what is there to apologize for? I didn't. I don't feel like I did anything wrong. Like, you didn't. You haven't talked to her in years. But I kind of. Kind of wanted my best friend back, so I sucked up my ego. I'm like, look, man, yeah, it was wrong, whatever. Shouldn't have done it. For the next couple months. Up until, up until three weeks ago, I thought things were. Were good between me and him. And I went to the town that he went to college in, which is like two or three hours away from the basement I'm staying at now. And you know, I met up with him, some other buddies, we went out drinking and he like the first night that I was there all night, he was slipping me comments saying like, oh, you're done, you're done for like all this like that. And I sort of, on the drive back from the bars, I sort of blew up at him. I mean, it's stupid because that he wasn't turning on, wasn't turned on the radio. So I'm like, oh, dude, turn on the radio. Like, yada, yada, yada. He blew up on me. I was low key bitching him out while I was in the back seat. And I mean, yeah, we sort of just haven't talked then, but yeah, he sort of like, hates my guts now.
Mike
Hmm.
Lyle
Do you, do you like, do you grieve the friendship? Do you guys. Do you wish that you guys could patch things up or do you kind of not care anymore?
Bob
At this point, I mean, I would like to have the friendship back, but at this point, I mean, it's kind of done with. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna keep fighting for it just because I know it'll never be the same and like, it. It's not gonna go back to the way that it was. So I'M not even gonna try and repair it at this point.
Lyle
Do you have a lot of other friends?
Bob
Not, not like here on base, but back home? Yeah, I talked to them pretty regularly.
Lyle
Why do you feel like you don't have as many friends on base if that's where you're spending most of your time?
Bob
I mean, I kind of, I don't, I don't know. A lot of the things I like to do, they're kind of like solo people. Things like solo activities. Like, I, I, I know you can go to the gym with other people, but I kind of just go to the gym to, like, look good. I don't really go to chitchat and whatnot, but I mean, yeah, I don't know. I think I just don't really have that many hobbies to go, like, meet people at. And when I, when I do, like, go out to a bar or just anywhere in general to, like, meet people, I'll, I'll talk to, like, one person and then that, that conversation won't really go anywhere. And I'll be, I'll be in my head thinking, damn, like, why did I even, why did I even come out? Like, this is a waste of time. I should just go home and then I just go home after that.
Lyle
Yeah, well, I mean, I've talked about this to death on the show, but I'll talk about it again. Like, the, you gotta find, like, a kind of recurring place to show up. Right? Because you're totally right. Like, what, you go out to the bar, you have one conversation with a person, and then nothing really happens. Right. Like, there's a lot of expectations, you know, but if you kind of find. Yeah, like you said, talk about, like, hobbies that are more conducive to being around other people and that are recurring. I mean, that's kind of the secret to friendship is like, find a community and, and add value to it so that you're visible in the community. You know, that's kind of the, that's the general friendship equation. What are your other hobbies we like to do.
Bob
I mean, I like to go like, there's a, there's a rock climbing gym. It's like 45 minutes away. Like, I don't really go all that much, but I'll go sometimes. And then like, just camping, I guess. Like, I'm a big outdoors guy, but there's not really a whole lot of outdoor stuff here
Lyle
either. Not. Well, what, what part of, like, on the base is there a, Is there like a rock climbing gym? I feel like, rock climbing is actually a pretty social thing. Like, I mean, here in fucking Brooklyn, there's a ton of these, like, rock climbing gyms that have regular, Regular, regular meets.
Bob
Yeah, I mean, I mean, it's pretty social, but the, the only gym that's close to me is like 45 minutes away, so I'll probably only go there like once a month just because, I mean, I don't really have that much time.
Lyle
So what's the dream, Bob? What's the dream? You want. You want to. You want to travel in a couple years when you get out?
Bob
Yeah, but that's, that's the dream. So we're just saving up money now to. Have you seen those. Those Van Lifer videos where people buy, like, a shitty van and renovate it and sort of drive around the country?
Lyle
Sure. Is that what you want to do?
Bob
Yeah, I mean, it seems like it'd be. Seems like it'd be pretty fun. Bring a dog along.
Lyle
Yeah.
Bob
Doesn't seem like there's a whole lot of expenses doing that.
Lyle
Yeah, I mean, I'll warn you of something. I'll let you know. The, like, van life thing, like, general. I think it's kind of one of these things where if you haven't traveled a lot, you kind of picture what like, a nomadic lifestyle would be. And traveling. Traveling is great. Traveling rocks. But like, when I, you know, you meet some of these guys who do van life or like in a hostel or whatever, and they're like, been on the fucking road for like nine months. Like, the road. And the nomadic world is their thing, like a kind of constant motion. And it's on. It's. It's lonely, It's. It's very conducive. It's not conducive to building long relationships and friendships, especially if that's. And you'll notice that. I mean, if you were. If you were kind of sitting here telling me like, oh, all I need is myself and my dog and all that, I'd be like, more pro van life. But the. I think it's so. I think it's okay to just be like, oh, I want to travel somewhere for like a couple weeks or something like that. You know, if you want to choose a whole nomadic lifestyle, it will make you lonely.
Mike
But the cool thing about.
Lyle
So the.
Bob
I know you've done, like. I know you, I know you. I know you've done a whole lot of like, like traveling solo. Like, has. Has that ever, like, affected you, like, feeling lonely or.
Lyle
Yeah, totally. 100%. Yeah, that's well, you're 21, right?
Bob
Yes.
Lyle
That's the, that's the age that I was when I started traveling by myself. And the first time I was doing was. It was awesome. It was beautiful. I mean, I told. I 100% recommend that you do it, but I would travel for myself for like two weeks at a time, three weeks at a time, something like that. And it's so, it's totally lonely. But that's, but I don't, I really cherish that, that period of time because the loneliness is part of the experience in a sense. You have kind of these, you have kind of these high highs where you will meet people, you know, especially if you're going to put yourself out there, you will meet people and you will have experiences that you couldn't have had if you went with a group. But then you'll also have these very melancholic feelings that are new.
Bob
And
Lyle
there's a lot of, I think, value and humanity in those feelings. And especially if you're young, it's good. I mean, at the age I'm at now, I don't wanna, I have no interest in like long term solo traveling of any kind just because, like I feel like I've felt those melancholic feelings. And I, I mean, sometimes I end up doing solo travel, like just by necessity if I'm filming something or doing a show or something like that. But I think, yeah, when you're, when you're, when you're young, I recommend it fully because it introduces you to new. Yeah, it introduces you to new feelings and new excitements that are valuable. But I don't think you need to rent a whole ass van to do it. You know, I never, I never did like eight months on the road or six months on the road. I was like a couple weeks in. A place is cool for me.
Bob
Yeah, I mean, I get, I get 30 days of a PTO a year from the military. So maybe I'll do. Yeah, maybe I'll just use up all 30.
Lyle
I like that. I like that idea. I like that idea. Yeah. Where would you go?
Bob
Just, just give it a little taste.
Lyle
Yeah, I like that idea. Where would you go?
Bob
I was thinking like northern Italy. Go see, go see the Dolomites. Do some hiking, dude.
Lyle
Yeah, dude. I don't know what your budget is like, but if you can rip. Rip Spirit Airlines. But there's an airline I'm gonna give a free shout out to. Ryanair. Do you know Ryanair?
Bob
Dude, Ryanair's goaded. Have you flown easyjet I have flown easyjet. Yeah, that's pretty, it's pretty good.
Lyle
Ryanair and easyjet are gone.
Bob
Spirit. Spirits closing down, though. They, they.
Lyle
I know.
Bob
Bankruptcy.
Lyle
I know. It's, it's actually so tragic and it kind of pisses me off because people, people, like, would meme on spirit. People would be like, oh, spirit sucks.
Mike
They weren't that bad. They were never that bad, dude.
Lyle
They were never that bad. And also when people, when people were like, like, when spirit was like, hey, we'll do a super low cost thing where you can stand in the back of the plane, I was like, that's sick. You know, it's like, oh, like, I'll
Bob
fucking pay for that to go stand in the back of the plane.
Mike
You kidding me?
Lyle
Right? Right? I mean, you know, there's a whole conversation about, you know, whatever, capitalism, making things cost more artificially. But spirit was sick in the sense that they were like, if you want no frills, if you, if you don't care about getting your little bottle of water, if you don't care about the seat reclining, if you don't care about all, and you just want to get from point A to point B, we will offer you that option for cheap and valuable service. Completely gone. Whereas, yeah, in Europe you have Ryanair, which can like do, like, it can take you from Italy to France for like, I don't know, I haven't, I haven't used, I haven't been in Europe in a while or use Ryanair in a while, but I know there was where you could like go to go from fucking like France to Italy to France for like $30 or something. It's like a bus ticket, right? So I don't know if that. I don't know what. Yeah, I don't know if that's. I don't know what's going on. Don't quote me on that. But I guess I'm saying it's like, if you have 30 days, you should totally like dick around in Europe and see what's up. You know, go spend a little bit time in Rome, spend a little bit time in Paris. I don't know, I don't know what your budget is, but, but even if your budget's tight, there's like, there's, there's, you know, you can stay in hostels for like hella cheap. You can fly Ryanair for hella cheap. Like, there's a, there's a. If you're, if you're scrappy and you're down to like stay in A bunk bed with like 16 other folks and like, fly on shitty airlines at like 5 o' clock in the morning. There's a, there's a, there's a beautiful budget, friendly adventure that I believe you could take for those 30 days that might give you a nice little taste of the travel.
Bob
Yeah.
Lyle
Universe.
Bob
Yeah, I'm. I mean, I have no problem with, you know, sleeping in a bunk bag. I slept in a bunk bed with, you know, 50 other people for two months.
Lyle
Right. Yeah, Right, Right, right, right, right.
Bob
Not. Not that out of the ordinary.
Lyle
Dude, was there ever any full Metal jacket shit where, like, some guy just went bonkers on everyone?
Bob
Dude, almost. So we had this one guy. I'll just call him John. So, John, like, when, when we would come back from doing drill, which is basically just fancy walking, we would hear this dude, like, whisper to himself and talk to himself for, for like a few weeks. We're like, what the is that about? And then on week, week five, we go to the rifle range to get qualified. And on the Sunday before we go, this dude was talking. She was like, oh, I'm a killer. I'm a kill this. And I was walking. Me and this other kid were walking by, like, as he said that to himself and like, dude, we gotta like, tell, we gotta like, tell the drill instructor like, that, like, if, if he goes to the range and kills this lady, like, like, we'll, we'll feel responsible for that.
Lyle
Yeah. Yeah.
Bob
So. So, so we told the total drill instructor and she's like, thank you for letting me know. We'll get this, you know, routed through the proper channels. And we went to lunch one day, came back, all this dude's stuff was gone. His bed was stripped, his wall locker was empty. There was, I mean, it looked like there was zero sign of life in, in his bed or in his area.
Lyle
I mean, I assume he got kicked out.
Bob
Oh, yeah. 100. He. It turned out he lied on his, his like, entrance mental evaluation thing and they kicked him out.
Lyle
See, if you're walking around like, go ahead, go ahead.
Bob
No, no, go ahead.
Lyle
I was gonna say, if you're walking around like, I'm gonna kill this, then, you know, Ferris Fair, they should let you go. But if you're like, I'm kind of sad. They should. They, you know, let you. They should still let you have a gun.
Bob
Yeah. I mean, as long as you're not, you know, police or whatever, I don't think it's that bad.
Lyle
I'm just kidding. But they should let you, whatever, press a button that makes a helicopter do something. There's a lot of stuff you can do in the.
Bob
Yeah, we, we almost, Private piled this one kid because he kept messing up.
Lyle
You socked him.
Bob
We almost did. We, we were, we were very close to it because, I mean, he just kept messing up and we would all get smoked for it. And we, that's like, a lot of us came to the conclusion, like, yeah, like, this guy's got a guy, this guy's got to be taught a lesson. But we, we never, we never did do that because we would have gotten, we would have gotten found out and been in deep, probably gotten kicked out.
Lyle
So hazing is not still a low key, accepted part of the military experience.
Bob
Legally, no, hazing is not allowed.
Lyle
But anecdotally
Bob
it's not. What's the word for it? I don't want to say it's incorrect, but maybe, I don't know, it's sort of, I know in the Air Force it's not really a thing, but I can't speak on other branches, but I'm sure it's prevalent in the other branches, but in the Air Force it's not really a thing.
Lyle
So, Bob Gekko, we've gotten to know you a little bit. You seem like a good guy. You seem like a man with a head on his shoulders, a man with desires, a man with intention for his life. Let me ask you this, Bob, Are you still there?
Bob
I am. I'll answer.
Lyle
Gekko, we've been talking for about 36 minutes and I'm willing to let you go if you must go. But was there any aspect of any of this that you feel like you wanted to get deeper into or any way in which this phone call could be of any kind of assistance for you that we did not do?
Bob
I mean, not really. I feel like I talked about what I wanted to talk about. Share what I wanted to share.
Lyle
Okay, okay. Okay. Is what do you think you're gonna do? What do you think you're gonna do for that, that 30 days you think you're gonna rock?
Bob
Yeah. Right. Well, right now I have, I think, 42 days saved up.
Lyle
Oh. Oh, you can do so much stuff. Damn, that's awesome.
Bob
Oh, well, I can only take 30 at a time before having to come back to work before I can take another 30.
Lyle
I, I, Dude, I actually would recommend that you not take like 30 in a row. Like you should just, you should take like two weeks and go somewhere instead of like, you know, 31. Cuz you'll get you. Because you'll get tired and burnt out after, like, two weeks anyway, you know, so I would just. If you have. Yeah, I think so. If you have 42 days, I would, like, split it up into, like. If you have 42 days. What's 42 divided by three? I would go on three. I would split those 42 days into three if I were you.
Bob
Maybe I'll do something for my birthday.
Lyle
Yeah, When's your birthday?
Bob
It's in September, so, I mean, towards the start of the cooler months.
Lyle
Cool, man. Well, happy birthday.
Bob
Well, thank you. Even though it's not for, you know, another four months.
Lyle
Private Bob,
Bob
Colonel Gecko, is there anything
Lyle
you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Bob
Wanga boinga, bing, bang, dilly dally.
Lyle
Excellently said.
Bob
Goodbye, Mr. Gecko.
Lyle
Goodbye, Mr. Bob. Thank you very much. That's who I want. Defending our country. Cat people. Cat. Cat boys named Bob who long for the van life. That's. That's who we want. That makes me happy. Anyway, folks, that's been the Therapy Gecko podcast. My name is Lyle. I'm a gecko. Pacific Northwest. I'm coming to you. I'm coming to you. I got. I got shows, man. I got shows. I'm doing the crocodile in Seattle, June 6. Before that, I'm doing Polaris Hall. Portland, Oregon, June 5. San Francisco, June 4. I'm coming to Vancouver, June 7. Minneapolis, June 9. Cleveland, Ohio, June 18. Pittsburgh, June 20. Charlotte, June 21. Many more shows in addition to those. You can find them all on therapygecko tour.com or the link in the episode description. If you don't like listening to the ads, you can get an ad free version of the podcast@patreon.com Lyle Forever. Other than that, I don't have anything else to say. I'm tired. I feel insane. But we're gonna make it through, folks. I'm gonna make it through. You're gonna make it through. Our teacher friend's gonna make it through. Our military guy friend is gonna make it through. We're gonna do it. We're gonna figure it out. We're gonna live. We're gonna join the living folks. We're gonna join the living. Geck bless. Gecko out. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.
Date: May 20, 2026
Host: Lyle (Therapy Gecko)
Featured Callers: Mike (Schoolteacher), Bob ("Bob", Military)
In this introspective and honest episode of Therapy Gecko, Lyle takes calls from two strangers, Mike and Bob, who are both wrestling with questions of identity, regret, and the anxiety of navigating adulthood. Together, they explore the emotional complexities of aging, career choices, personal fulfillment, and the realities of military life. The tone is candid and often humorous, yet punctuated by genuine vulnerability, creating a safe space to discuss mental health, life pathways, and the bittersweet nature of growing up.
"I have to be like the rock in the room for sure. But... sometimes I'll get out of work and... I can't function right now and you're expecting me to function..." (03:16–03:42)
"I'm at this, like, struggle with a balance type point... I try to be very, very now oriented, but I'm also at this, like... cusp... of okay, what is next?" (10:05–10:37)
"I've made tons of mistakes, but I don't have any... Like, I got to do a lot of great stuff and... I'm very grateful for my life." (10:37–11:58)
"You look at your parents... they're flawed, they're confused, they're not perfect. So... you realize... you kind of are the model." (26:54–27:23)
"...I was just not going to school, I was just getting, like, super drunk, super high... They were paying for all of it, and I was lying to them... I couldn't keep the jig up anymore." (35:24–37:00)
"I don't want to say it's been bad because it hasn't, but it's just not what I... envisioned my life to be like right now." (39:12–39:27)
"I don't want to go to like a doc... I'm afraid I might lose my security clearance and then I would..." (45:22–45:39)
"I'm not gonna keep fighting for it... it's not gonna go back to the way that it was." (54:59–55:29)
"If you were kind of sitting here telling me like, oh, all I need is myself and my dog... I'd be like, more pro van life. But...it will make you lonely." (59:32–60:54)
Lyle:
"That's who I want defending our country. Cat boys named Bob who long for the van life. That makes me happy.... I'm tired. I feel insane. But we're gonna make it through, folks. I'm gonna make it through. You're gonna make it through. Our teacher friend's gonna make it through. Our military guy friend is gonna make it through. We're gonna do it. We're gonna figure it out. We're gonna live. We're gonna join the living folks. We're gonna join the living. Geck bless. Gecko out." (73:44-end)
Summary prepared for listeners seeking a deep dive into Therapy Gecko’s signature mix of humor, honesty, and existential therapy—with timestamped highlights and thematic insights.