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Michael
This is an iHeart podcast.
Host
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Riley Wilson
This is Riley Wilson and Keon Miller from OK Storytime.
Keon Miller
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Michael
Hello.
Host
Hey, what's up, man? What's your name?
Michael
Michael, man. How are you, Michael?
Host
Michael Myers. Michael Bateman. That's a guy I went to college with. Mike Myers. Mike Myers is the Saturday Night Live. Was he on. Was Mike Myers on Saturday Night Live?
Simon
Yeah.
Michael
I only know him. He's like, yeah.
Host
He played the cat in the Hat in the Cat in the Hat film.
Michael
He did the Dr. Evil stuff?
Host
Yeah.
Michael
This is crazy. I'm like. I'm like. I've been. Obviously, I watch, like, most people listen to it, but I think I'm a unique listener because I listen to you when I go to bed.
Host
Oh, okay.
Michael
You're like my. You're like my nightly routine. You become my nightly Routine. So every night.
Host
Awesome.
Michael
It would be like, instead of, instead of scrolling and like bleeding my eyes out on Instagram because you know how long those doom scrolls could be? I would just put on lisle, put a 15 minute timer and then listen to other people's problems and it helps me get my own.
Host
Awesome. Awesome. Thanks, man. I appreciate, I'm truly, I'm honored to hear that I could be a part of your nightly routine, brother. I appreciate it. Yeah, you're like Mike Myers.
Michael
It's cool. Yeah. I don't know if you read the message. It's funny because I always listen to you like whether I put you on on my way home and. Or go to going to bed, but I never really had. I'm like, damn, I want to speak to him because I I with him. But I never had something real to talk about. But now I do. Now it's like, I feel like this is like a perfect conversation to have with the gecko. So I'm like, I manifested it. Like, I just, I'm like, I gotta get this guy on live. So I just followed you on Instagram and then you're like, okay. I didn't know how it worked. I didn't know. I don't watch live streams. I found you on clips like most people three years ago and I just watched on Spotify, so I didn't know how it worked. And then I just. You, you posted on Instagram. I was like, okay, let me just spam this guy. No, you probably should put like the one and then your number because a lot of people probably don't know that.
Host
So hit us with with the thing, man. What do you want to talk about
Michael
anyways? So, well, the punchline is I dated a legal immigrant for the past two years and I went against everyone's advice and then we broke up. And I guess I just want to start off with like the idea of like, I'm 24, I'm fairly young, I have everything kind of provided for me. My, my family immigrated to Canada like in the 60s like most Italian families. And, and like my grandparents set like their life up and my parents set my life up. So I'm like third generation. And everything was like, everything's going well in my life. So I just recently got out of a breakup like in 2023 in January. And that was because during COVID obviously like it was a hard time for everybody, but I was like, I just, I felt like the need for a relationship because I wasn't messing with my friends at the time. So Thankfully, I finally got into, like, some sort of relationship that was organic, that lasted, you know, two and a half years, three years, first love kind of thing. It was good, but the thing with this girl was she was always spoiled and stuff, and I didn't with it, so I just had to move on. Right? She was a bratty. But then comes like a. A month later, I'm over here. I'm like, okay, you know what? I don't want to rebound. I don't want to, like, go to a party school and just fuck girls, hook up, do whatever. So I went to. Went to God, obviously. I was like, you know What? I got St. Michael on my arm. Let me see if I could find God right now. Let me do this right? Joined a. Joined a. What's it called? I don't even know what it's called. Angelic. Angelic. Some. Some sort of church that was like Bible studies. It was cool until they, like, told me, like, get baptized again. And I was like, okay, I'm. I'm. I'm a. I'm okay with being a non disciple for now. Like, I'll.
Simon
I'll.
Michael
I'll take God for what I think he is and create my own relationship. These guys are like, my car broke down and my bills are not paid, but. But God's on my side. I'm like, all right, dude, I'm. I'm gonna get out of here now. So I just got out of that. And then I'm like, you know what? You know, I tried God, tried the rebound. This not working. Let me just go with my guys. So, ironically, I went out with these guys. We went to. We went out for like, a bar, the drinks. And I found my. My friends from high school that I haven't talked to in years, and we went out one night. And then I found this girl. And I didn't want to get into another relationship after my first one. I honestly just wanted to travel the world and be like a nomad for a little bit. But I found this girl and, you know, I connected with her. And she, like, she was from Mexico and she barely spoke English when I talked. When I talked to her. But I felt like this connection. And as you can see, like, I really enjoy talking. You'll get a lot from this call, but for coming off anytime you have a question, but. And she obviously didn't speak, like, full sentences, but I had, like, this connection with her, so I thought. I thought it was like, like God or something, right? So I just went out with this girl a couple Times. And at first it was just for fun, right? It was just, you know, going out, dating scene. Like, it's always like the best phase when you kind of meet a girl and you connect with them and you do the dates and all that stuff. And. And this girl taught me that, like, oh, I could love again. Because like, a week before this, I was like, you know, curled up, like, damn, man. Like, I've just missed this. My accent, this and that. Like. But over. Over the time, like three months or so, I had the best time with this girl. Like, oh, my God. It was like pure euphoric. It was like pure fairy tale. Like most early relationships. I never asked her out, though, because I didn't want another girlfriend, but I just enjoyed her time. And then June came along. We spent so much time together. Like, we. It was probably every other day, my parents were like, who is this girl? And then every person's like, michael, what are you doing with this girl? What are you doing with this girl? And I'm like, just leave me alone. Just let me have fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. And then she told me in after June, like, I was. It was like the epitome of our love. And it was like, really? Everything was going good. And I was like, okay, you know what? Maybe I might try with this girl. She told me she's moving across the country for work in the summer. And I sat to myself, and I remember I was. We were on a beach, and she just sat me down and she told me this. The news that she's going for the summer for work. And I was just like, okay, it's June. I could clearly just say, all right, cool, that was fun. And have like a halfway summer. But there was something in me. There was something in me that was like, no, like, I gotta try with this girl. I gotta. I gotta see what it's like. Because in my previous relationship, I spent. I would save too much time with my ex girlfriend. That's way too much time. So this one, I'm like, you know what? Maybe this is good. Maybe this is good. Because if someone's away from me, I'm able to. You know, I work a lot in the summer. I'm able to work, and I have, like that companionship through text or through call. And then maybe I could go and visit throughout the summer. So I. So I. I just asked her on the spot. I said, all right, well, I don't want to leave you. So here we go. Like, let's. Let's Try it out. Let's do this. So obviously she said yes. And it was like a very weird time in my life because I was like, why am I doing this? Like, this is this. Nothing seems right. I'm telling everyone about it and they're all like, michael, what the. What are you doing, dude? Like, do you really like this girl? Like, you have your. You got everything. You don't need to like, settle down. And that, that, that's kind of a theme that carried out throughout this relationship. A lot of people thought I was like settling down with this person and like thinking of this person as less than because obviously she doesn't have paperwork and all this shit. But fast forward I spend the summer. Summer was all right, you know, it was a little hard, bumpy because of my first long distance relationship. And I said, okay, fuck it, like, spend a month there. And then I ended up going, spending like three weeks in at this place. And we traveled and we did a bunch. We just made so many memories together, right? And then fast forward I left for, for Spain. And it was like the hardest, probably the hardest thing in my life where a love wise where I looked at her and we were both confused because this place was. She wanted to move out. She wanted to move out. She wanted someone to like kind of move out with her and stuff, but she never told me. I always just kind of insisted. So this place, it was Vancouver. And we went to Vancouver and Honestly, Lyle, I don't know if you've been. You've probably been on tours. I don't like Vancouver.
Host
Why don't you like Vancouver? Vancouver is a nice place.
Michael
I think it's. It's. I think north Vancouver's great. I'm in Toronto and I don't know, maybe it's just that, like, I like being able to walk out and like be swallowed by skyscrapers. I like the lake, but I just, I went down East Hastings, took the bus to the freaking fair. Damn, it's just zombieland sometimes. And I think it was a mixture of everything though. I think it was. I was hanging out with a lot of her Spanish friends and I was like, damn, man, Michael, what are you doing? Like, this is not where you want to be. Like, I don't want to go to Vancouver, move to Vancouver and, and pay like all this rent and like, try to make it work. And I have everything set up in Toronto. Why would I do that to myself? You know? North Vancouver is beautiful. Like clients Bay, Squamish. Like, we did a bunch of hikes there, but I Don't know. Like, I think I was a little homesick. So I remember leaving her. I remember telling her on a boardwalk. It was like the first kind of argument we had. And yeah, I left her on the boardwalk and we. I just told her straight up. I'm like, look, I don't want to move here. Like, I don't want to. I don't want this place. Like, I. I'm. Whether it's homesick, I just don't feel comfortable. This and that. And it was like the first type of, like, argument. Not argument, but this, this. This silent treatment, which is like a pattern from, like, here and for the last two years. And pretty much there's so many other details I'd rather you ask questions than I answer. But when I left in Spain, she literally, she said, like, okay, you know, we'll work it out, we'll work it out, we'll work it out. Everything was like, we'll work it out. Went to Spain. I was really. It was really hard to, like, process everything. And then she finally. Then in October, another hiccup happened where she, you know, she was staying for work. Because then again, like, these, These, these people, like, like, when they come here and they overstay, they don't have a lot of selection, right? And I think she opened up my eyes to that. Like, she made me a lot more grateful of, like, my life, and that's why I'm thankful for. But she doesn't have a lot of selection, so she just goes wherever work is. And I just told myself, I was like, look, man, like, if you love this girl, everything will work out. And in October, she told me that she might stay to Vancouver for school. The same school that was. Was an ilac. And I'm like, oh, dude, why? Like, I. I haven't even dated you for, For. For like a month. I haven't even. We haven't even been in person dating for a month yet. How am I. How am I going to. Like, I'm a very, you know, like, physical person when it comes to, like, physical touches, like a love language of mine. I can't really, like, do the long distance forever, right? I need, like, a goal in mind. So she made the decision to come back to Toronto. Not for me, but her. She has a couple of her family members here too, and just everything stress was a little bit too much and she needed that support. So she came back. We did a lot of, like, trips together to, like, kind of bond. But I think the pattern was this. I always felt really amazing with her by myself. Every time I brought her around my family, it was like, I was awkward about it. My family's very supportive, but I just felt a little awkward. And she felt a little scared and stressed because of. Obviously she's a little insecure about her situation and she doesn't want people to know and all that stuff. And when I brought around my friends, it was just kind of awkward, but. Because she didn't know the language too well. But there was still love there. So she. She came back. She actually surprised me to come back, which is, like, really sweet. She, like, switched her flights and stuff, so there was love there. And this is what I call, like, phase one of the relationship. There's. There's so much more. But, like, in January, she wanted to go back to Vancouver in the summer. And I'm like, okay, I don't know what's going on. Like, there's. You're just constantly back and forth. And that's her lifestyle, right? Like, she's just living by the day. For me, it's like, okay, I got to live the year, and I have yearly plans and stuff for her, it's like, whatever comes to her, she has to take because that's. That's the life she made for herself. And pretty much, I just was so conflicted of what I should do. Like, should I stay with this girl? Should I help her with her paperwork? I'm 24. Yeah, I do. I got a pretty good career on my hands, but I still got to work towards it, right? Like. Like, I want to. I want to build. Build. I have a lot of opportunities that I'm taking. Like, I'm literally in Brick in Barbados right now, skipping the whole winter of Toronto, which is amazing, for work. And I just can't find the need to feel guilty for being successful because she can't have the same opportunities that I have. So in. In May, we tried to get, like, an immigration lawyer. And just to figure it out, I just needed to have a path. I needed some sort of. I couldn't do this day by day shit. And the immigration lawyer probably just wanted some money, but she was just straight up telling me I got to marry her. I got to marry her. I got to do common law. I got to do this. I got it. I'm like, holy fuck. And she goes, michael, you don't got to marry me. You don't got to marry me. We'll figure out another way. And I'm like, oh, dude. Like, I don't want that to be the only option. Like, this Is a professional telling me that the only, only way I could keep you is if I marry you. And like, I don't even know you, you know, like, like a year goes by and like, yes, we spend a lot of good time together, but she hasn't really like prove to me that, that like I gotta marry her. Like, it's a big commitment. It's like a lifelong thing and I don't want to do that. So I said, I'm not doing that, but we'll figure something else out. And then I got so overwhelmed to a point where my family's like my, we gotta end it. It's just, it's not. Doesn't make sense. It makes sense. I got so influenced by other people and then I try to break up with her. And when I, during that breakup, it was just, it was hard because I, you know, I went over there, I kind of had my mind made and I pretty much told her I straight up. I said, look, like, this is just not going to end well and I'd rather just cut it off before it ends bad. And she, she just pretty much said like, oh, is this it? Are done? And I literally just walked out. Like, you know, we concluded it was a long conversation. But to long story short, like concluded that walked out. And as I was walking out, it was kind of raining and shit. It was like a movie scene. I was like, did I just do that? Like, do I feel like I made the right decision? And I'm like, okay, I feel like a little bit weight lift off my shoulder. I feel like I made the right decision. And as I'm. As I'm thinking this to myself and opening my car door, this girl comes running out in the rain. In her feet, it's cold outside and, and jumps and just, and just kind of, I don't know, like, just tell me not to leave and this and that. And I'm like a sucker. I'm like, I can't do this. Like, I don't want to leave any girl. Even in my ex, my other ex, like, no, girl, I don't want to see you crying because I left. I want to be like, okay. It was profession closure is key. And I just had to like, had to make it work. I don't know, something inside of me was like, okay, let's try again. Let's try something else. And then in August, later, fast forward August 2024, everything was kind of going well. Like, you know, she actually brought her to my parents and we had dinner and she kind of had to like, confess that she's not there for the papers, she loves me, and all this stuff. Like, that was a big thing for her to do that she didn't want to do, but she. She did it because of the love for me. Right?
Simon
And.
Michael
And. But she always told me that, like, I forced her to do that. And I thought that that was the best part of our relationship is when she did that. So that was a discrepancy. And in August, she pretty much said, like, everything was going decent. You know, the love was still there. You know, we went to Montreal. We did some fun stuff together. Like, we still had some bonding. It was a little bit drier. But like every other kind of relationship, you know, when you want to rack up a year or two, it's not going to be as good as the first couple months. But then in August, she kind of blindsided me. I don't know. She got on the phone with her mom and then her friends, and. And. And you could tell, like, this, like, energy was off. Like, our relationship revolved around energy, because obviously, language wasn't the key. It was all about energy. And. And she just sat me down, and she just, like, straight up said, like, yeah, this is. I don't know if this is gonna work out. I want to go back to Mexico. I. I can't do this anymore. Like, I just. I feel like I'm too. Like, I'm not good enough for you. All this stuff. Like. And I'm telling her, like, no. Like, this girl's a strong girl. Like, I'm always boosting her up. I feel like any. Any person that moves to another country and tries to start a life here, like my. My grandparents did, and I'm spoiled. Like, I didn't do. I didn't have to suffer through all that. All that pain. So I always boosted her up. I said, no, she's strong. She's fire. She's, like, confident. Like, all this stuff, I always brought her up no matter what. That was my goal. And, yeah, she was just telling me, like, yeah, like, that's it. Like, whatever. And once I. Lyle, I'm a lover. I'm a lover boy. So if I love a boy, I don't. Like, once someone breaks that love, I just become evil. Like, I just. It is what it is. Like, I just don't love you anymore. Like, the connection's lost, energy's lost, and I just became, like, this version of myself that I hated. Like, I felt like it was like a. Like, I was like, no, like, you made your decision. I Know that I'm a sucker. And if I ever give you a chance to come back, I'm going to eat it up. I'm going to take it. Take you back. So I just told her straight up. I said, all right, well, I don't know. When she told me that, I was like, why do I not want to cry right now? Why do I feel like, okay, yeah, that's true. And it's because she put herself first. Finally. I'm like, okay, you got to go back to Mexico. You have your own problems. I clearly have my life kind of figured out a little bit, in a way, and I have a lot of goals and dreams and aspirations, and in a way, she's kind of holding me back. Like, she. She was, because, like, I don't know, she was a little bit. But I didn't want to admit it to myself because I was in love with her. But August came and went. It was really hard for me because I. We broke up in the most scenic spot ever. There's, like this place across where Toronto. There's like. It's called Park Lawn, and it's like this beautiful place overlooking the skyline. And, you know, she. She didn't think we were gonna break up. She thought she could, like, win me back for that day. But I was. My mind was sick. Set. My mind was set. And I just told her straight up. I said, look, I enjoyed my time with you. Like, I don't want to think it was, like a waste of time. I enjoyed my time with you, but this is a decision you made, and I can't really forgive you right now for that. And I just want to, like, move on and let you make that decision. And. And I'd rather her move on so I can move on, because if she doesn't move on, I can't move on. That's like the whole thing of. Of my. My love life. And so we. So a month went by, and ironically, her birthday was the end of August. And this is important because I turned down a really big opportunity to film in France for her, and I kind of regretted it. So I was looking for vacation stuff. I was like, hey, I want to go to Switzerland. I want to go to Costa Rica. I need something to do at the end of August. The guy who I turned down called me back, and he goes, hey, man, just want to let you know, can't refund your flights if you still want to come. I rather that seat be with you instead of being empty. And I'm like, oh, my God, man, you have no idea how much this helps me right now. Took that gig, had the time of my life filming everything. And then she called me. She called me. I was thinking about her after her birthday because I didn't say happy birthday. I really wanted to do it, but I said, no, don't do it, don't do it. She called me September 1st and I was, I was like in between the seats on the plane, balling, writing a love letter in my notes, like, just trying to like, figure out this.
Simon
And.
Michael
And that night she called me and it's like, what the. Like there's a God there. Like, there's no way. There's no way, right? Coincidental for. For most people, but for me it was like that spiritual.
Host
So wait, wait, so call me.
Michael
Yeah.
Host
So you were, you were thinking about her and writing this love letter and then she called you,
Michael
so. No, I was. I was on a plane in between going from frickin Switzerland to Paris or something. And I was just writing this shit because I was sad. Like, I was in the mountains and stuff. I was filming. It was like the best thing in my world. And I'm like, dude, like, I was thinking about it, I'm like, yo, she was going to make me miss this. Like, what type of, like what type of person was I to like miss this amazing opportunity for my career for her? Like, I was like, I was like so happy. But then a phase, like, I, you know, bc we went to. We went to UConn too. Like, we did the mountains and everything and, and the Rockies. And every time I was in the mountains, it just reminded me of her. So I was like, I was going through it, but I also like pivoted with like, I was doing what I loved. So it was just a weird, weird emotion. And I mean, I know that you're film major as well, but there's a. I really get like dopamine rushes when I film and then it's like kind of coming off Molly. Like when you like finish a project, you're finished everything. You're just like, it's done, like it's over and you get kind of sad. So I was kind of sad about it being over and then on top of it, I was sad because it was her birthday and I was just an emotional wreck at no point because I knew I had to come back. And usually when I come back to these things, you know, when I went to go travel, I love calling her and telling her about everything and my experiences. And I'm like, damn right I can't do that. So that night I called, she called me, and I got to like. I was like, what the heck? Like, kind of God, answer my prayers. So I thought right from then and there, I'm like, okay, this girl. This girl is going to. This girl special. Like, I don't know. The energy is still there. It came back. Let's try again. Let's try again. And important thing to notice in my previous relationship, I got into like, some sort of, like, you know, big kind of fight or argument and dispute and to a point where it left me, like, like heartless in a way. And. And then we tried again. We tried again with same idea, but it was never the same. She. And the difference between this girl, she was. She never forgave the. The girl that I'm with or was with now, my second ex girlfriend, she forgave a lot, but she didn't forgive what she did. Instead of holding the grudge, she would just like, boy, like, she would let everything boil in and she would never tell me anything. So I would never know.
Host
This is the Mexican girl that you're talking about or the other.
Michael
Yeah, yeah, okay. Okay, so there's an Italian girl and a Mexican girl. We'll just refer that. Refer to that. Those two. Okay, so, yeah, so the Mexican girl forgave a lot, but she never really forgave. I always thought she was emotionally strong because the Italian girl wasn't emotionally strong. She was always kind of bratty. But the Mexican girl was very emotionally strong. I thought. I thought. But usually I think it was just based off she just was like, like, Sylvie, like, just freaking live the life and we'll. We'll figure it out as we go. So anyways, we called each other and like, we really just, like, I don't know, like, we felt. I felt that connection that we felt that I felt throughout the years, and I'm like, all right, like, this is. This is going to be scary to bring it up to everybody again. But this has to be. God, this has to be the energy. This has to. This. This is aligning with what I thought and let's try it out. Let's do it. So I went to go. When I came back from. From France, I. We went out together, and even the first time we went out, like, I was like, oh, like, I'm trying to, like, I just really wanted it, Lyle. I really wanted it to be like, I know, okay, we both love each other right now. Let's just. Yo, let's go back. Let's pick up where we left off. That's it. But it wasn't. It wasn't like that. It was. It was. It was all right. It was all right. But, you know, we talked about everything and we. We. We mentioned, like, our problems with each other and what happened and what we did and how we felt throughout the months. And I kind of showed her, like, hey, like, I know I didn't. I know you think I wasn't thinking about you, but, like, here's, like, what I did for you. Like, I showed all, like, these notes stuff, and. Yeah. And then it just. It worked out. It was fine. It was fine for, like, a month. But she kind of just told me, like, michael, we have to work. It's slowly because it can't be quick. If it's quick, it's going to go up and down. I'm like, all right. And I feel like Lyle, like, in August, I felt like shit. Because I was. I'm a very sweet guy. I would say I didn't let her down easy. I really just. I just. Like I said, I try to let her down easy. And then she tried coming back, and I said, paula, I don't. Like, I really. I just don't love you anymore. Like, I just. I. Straight up. I remember we broke up dutifully. And then I saw at the gym a week later, and I just couldn't. Couldn't figure out a way to, like, just leave her because she was constantly in my brain. And I told her, like, in the car, straight up. I'm like, look, maybe we're not soulmates. Maybe I never loved you in the first place. Like, I just fucking ripped on her. It was so bad because I needed to. I needed to tell myself that, like, this is.
Host
Get this. This is. You said. You said this in the car. This is after the reconciliation. This is after she calls you again.
Michael
No, this is. So this is August is a week one of August. We broke up. Week two, it was. I saw at the gym. And so week one was, like, amazing. It was a good breakup. It was like, okay. And she just kind of still said, don't forget about me. Like, like, don't. Don't give up on me. This and that. And it was still, like, in her brain, like, we. It might work out, but for me it was like, no, I gotta move on. And then I went to, like, a music festival. I did all that shit. It goes. I kind of was living life. Went to concert solo. Like, I was trying my best to just move on effectively. And then a week later, I saw at the gym and I said like I thought it was like okay, we're good. I just could say hi to you and just move on. I'm like, okay, I'm never going to the gym at the at nighttime again. And that's it.
Host
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Riley Wilson
This is Riley Wilson and Keon Miller from OK Storytime.
Keon Miller
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Michael
But. But. Yeah. So where was I? Yeah. So in September, we tried our best. We really tried our best. I kind of slowly introduced it one by one. My family members, one by one. My mom was first, and then my, my closest brother, my oldest brother, and then my, my grandparents, and then my second closest brother. You know, like I was just slowly introducing into my family because it was a scary thing, you know, like, like it's not easy for, for, for me to say, like, hey, like, I'm gonna choose myself and my love and I'm gonna, I'm gonna tell me who to love and I'm not gonna be influenced by anyone else. And everyone was accepting, you know, like, there was like, all right, Michael, as long as you're happy. That was the big thing.
Host
This is you telling everyone that you're trying again.
Michael
Trying again, right?
Host
Yeah. Okay.
Simon
All right.
Michael
So I just told them and they were all accepting. Like, everyone, everyone said the same thing. That's why I love my family so much. They just said, as long as you're happy, as long as you're happy, whatever. Do, do what makes you happy. And if whatever comes out of this, as long as you're happy, you're fine. I don't care. You know, it's your life. And that's why I appreciate my family, because they let me go through these emotions. They don't kind of dictate it, even if they know what better best for me. So I pretty much. We tried for September, but the thing was, she was just, she was slow. It was slow for her. Very slow. And for me it was just like, dude, we gotta, we gotta start doing things together again. We gotta like, revive our relationship again. Like, we gotta go go out to dinner. Go out. Do we. We really like rocked our phase one of our relationship. Phase one was like May 2023 to like August 2024. Like, phase one was fire. And that's why I was sad about phase one. Phase two was September 2024, and then we'll keep going. So in, in October, she was, she focused on herself more. And I think that's what I realized in between the two phases. Her phase one was her Constantly doing things for me to please me. And I loved it. No wonder I fucking loved it. Because she was kind of like selfless for, for, towards me. She did everything that I wanted. She enjoyed everything too. Don't get me wrong. Like, I planned things. I told her, like, do you want to do anything? She goes, no, no, just plan whatever. I'll just join you. It's fun. And I. But phase two, she did a lot for herself. She worked a lot. She, this girl's a really hard worker in a sense, because she needs it, man. Like, it's hard to get a job out there and you. And it's hard to keep one because of, of everyone's just getting paid less and less and less, right? So she works Monday to Friday from not like 8:30 in the morning to like 6:00pm, sits in traffic for an hour, then goes to school from like 7, 6:30 to 5.
Simon
My bad.
Michael
She goes work from 8:30 to 5, sits in traffic for an hour, goes to school from 6 to 9. And then, God, for like, hopefully we get a gym session together at night time. And that was her schedule. And the only time she had was Sundays. And Sundays was like her, her errand day. So I was like, holy fuck, Michael. Is this relationship you want? You know? Like, why do you. What, what relationship do you have? Like, she's either working all the time or in school. And, And I was just like, okay, I still love this girl. I still love this girl. I admire her hard work. And honestly, Lyle, she motivated me to work harder because I had everything. But I, I felt like the need. I'm like, okay, I can't make any excuses because look at my girlfriend. Like, look at her working so hard. I'm, I'm an excuse. Cause I don't want to edit to 1am like, fuck that. Like, come on, look at your girl. She's doing everything for and to keep herself afloat. And you got everything and you can't, you can't grind for another couple hours. So she was motivating me in a way and that's why I kept her around so long. And then in October, she pretty much, I pretty much like, we met up and I wanted her to come to like this Halloween party of mine. And ironically, if there's anyone listening from Toronto, like the World Series Game seven from. With the Blue Jays was on Halloween night. And it sabotaged my whole Halloween party because everyone was watching the game. And then when the Blue Jays lost, everyone left. And like the other people that didn't care about baseball came so it's just like. It was such a. It was whatever. It doesn't matter. I was just something comedic for any Blue Jays fans. But yeah, like I went to. She didn't come to the Halloween party. I really wanted her to come because I wanted. It was the first time that she was around me with everybody and she didn't want to come because, well, she had a reason to. She had to work. Like, she got a job, a big job at like the following day at like 6am was like a 12 hour shift and it paid her well and she needs the money so she had to like not come. And I understood that, but it was just like, fuck, man. I feel like she's dodging all this stuff, but I'm like, no, no, no, it's okay. She has worked. You kind of got understand, you know, she's not like everyone else. I could just take it off and you know, get another job. Like, she needs to take all these opportunities as they come and. But that was not the first time she kind of denied something. And then I don't. I just, I just felt like, okay, you know what, this relationship is going south. I need to revive this. I'm not doing what I did last relationship with the Italian girl and just letting it supply. I got to tell her how I feel right now. So I met up with her again. You know, we went out finally. We like got a date going because of, with her schedule and we went out for dessert and stuff and it was, it was fine, but there was, it was just tension. I was like, what the fuck's going on, man? And I'm like. I told her straight up, like, look, if you want this thing to work, I need more. I need more from you. Like, I can't just, I can't just be like, you're, you're a pawn in your life. Like, I want to, I need to feel something. I don't feel anything. Like, what's the point of being in a relationship if you can't have that feeling for each other? And she pretty much like told me straight up. Like, I'm like, look, I just want you to be my girlfriend again. Like, I just want to go back to where we were because I can't. I don't feel anything. I feel like I'm constantly seeking approval. And I'm like, this sucks. You know, it's not what it was before. This is not what I signed up for. This is not what I expected when you called me in September. So I told her straight up in November. And I said, look, like, I need you to settle down and just be like, do you. Do you want this or not? And she goes, like, I want it. But I just. I. I'm like, what do you think of me? And she said, like, an ex or something. And I'm like, an ex. I'm a ex. Like, I'm like, holy, dude. I'm like, dude, I'm not your ex boyfriend. I'm not your ex. I'm not. I'm not a person to like, to. To sign up for a relationship, to be an ex boyfriend. Like, no. Yeah, like, I'm putting a lot of energy in. Into you. And I'm doing things that I never did for any girl. Every relationship I needed, I needed a girl to love me as much as I love them. And if they didn't, then I would just match their energy. I was doing something like that. I did something I never done before for any. Any person, and I love someone without them reciprocating that back. So I just pretty much told her. I said, like, look, I'm like, I need you to, like, I'm not your ex. I don't even. Honestly, I'm kind of forgetting a little bit, which means I'm healing. But then that happened. It was really. It was kind of rough. And I was really upset about that. I just wanted her to, like, I invited her to another, like, event. I wanted to go out with her, and she goes, no, I don't want to do this. And the thing with her, Lyle, is because she's Mexican, she grew up in Mexico. Winter sucks. Like, winter sucks for everybody. I love winter. My birthday's in winter. Like, I'm a Canadian, so, like, winter is fun for me, like, skiing and all that. But for her, winter sucks. Winter always sucks. Because Christmas time, she's away from her family. Her parents are in Mexico. She doesn't have a lot of immediate family here. She can't go back. She's stuck in. In limbo in Canada. And I feel for her. So I wanted to make it, like, enlightenment for him. Like, yeah, let's go out. Let's. Let's go party. Let's, you know, come over. Let's watch movies. Let's do all this shit. But she wasn't having it because she didn't have any fucking time. Like, she doesn't have time for a relationship. And I'm like, okay, you know what? Fuck it. Whatever. Let her be. Let her heal. She'll come back to you if it's meant to be. And then December came, and I really wanted her to come over for Christmas dinner. Like, that was huge, because last Christmas, she didn't come for Christmas dinner because she got sick. I think I had to do with some sort of stress or something. It's always like this every single year. So I wanted to come for Christmas dinner because, like, this is it. My family's going to see her again. She's going to. She came over for dinner one time with my other brother's girlfriend, and that was nice. I was like, fudge. Yeah, let's do that more. Like, that felt good. She didn't come for dinner. She. I think she had a breakdown on Christmas Eve with her family. I think what ended up happening was her family, she tried to open up to her family about me, and they shut it down so quickly because I think I heard her so much in August that she just blacklisted me for her whole family. And every one of her family probably hated me. And she couldn't. She was scared to open up, and, and she never did. And she kind of shied away from it. And I think her, her friend probably influenced it because she kind of fucked someone over for paperwork. Like, she literally got paperwork from this guy for three years and then ended up having a baby with another dude and just used him for, like, it was up, up situation. And that was her best friend. And I'm like, oh, my God.
Host
This. I. I'm sorry. This woman did that.
Simon
No, no, no.
Michael
This is her. This is the Mexican girl's friend.
Host
Okay. Yes.
Michael
Yeah. So it's not her, but I was like, damn. Kind of up. Like, But I, I, I didn't know. I, I can't do anything. Like, you know, it is what it is. Like, just don't get influenced by that. Like, don't think that's how it works. So, yeah, she. After Christmas, we were gonna spend New Year's together. Like, I booked a. I booked a chalet. We were gonna have all four. All of my brothers, their girlfriends, you know, my girlfriend, as I thought to New Year's, because last year I spent New Year's with her fam and her, her cousins and brothers and stuff. I didn't get to spend it with mine. So I was like, yeah, maybe she'll. She'll do with mine. And this will be a good kind of telling if she's, if she's fucking with it, you know, because in December, she goes, yeah, let's do it. It'll be fun. And then she kind of, I guess maybe had that whole episode on Christmas and figured, okay, I can't even, I don't even know how to tell my family that I'm going to go spend New Year's with this guy. So she told me, like straight up she goes, I can't, I'm not going to go. And I'm like, oh my God, here we go again. Like, why? Like, do you know how many times I'm defending you from my family? Like, you're not making it easier. I just need you to like show that you've loved me so I could just like be free and free minded from everyone telling me like, michael, give up on this girl. And she just, we just kind of. Then she just broke up. Like we, she gave up again. And it was like the same cycle in August. And I'm like, yeah, told myself, I'm like, Michael, what did I, what did I do wrong in August? I said, okay. I gave up on her so quickly. I said, okay, that's not what I'm gonna do now. I'm gonna, I'm not doing that. I'm not gonna give up on her. I'm gonna try because I think that she's just going through a little episode or a little phase and I try to remind her. I try to be like, okay, remember those times? Remember this? Remember that? And she was so stern. She was like, nah, I can't do this. Like it's, I'm gonna go back to Mexico. I miss my family, this and that, this and that. And I'm like, no, no, no, I'm not doing this. Like, I'm gonna fight because last time I didn't fight. So I texted her, like I left her. We left in tears, whatever. We were ending last episode, not second last episode of Stranger Things that comes in the story later because we watched Stranger Things together and she pretty much said like, I gave her all the stuff that she gave me throughout the relationship as like a way of love. Because she used to send me like letters when she was in bc. Like she used to, she used to send me like paint, like little things that she did, a little scrap board. She sent me over like a really sweet stuff that I kept and I, for a sentimental value. And I just gave it all to her. And I'm like, look, remember, Remember this? Oh, can you believe that? Remember this person? Remember this person? What, where did, where were you in this space? And I try to like, that's what that was. My, my, my attempt just make sure you bleep out that name. But anyways, then, then a week went by and like I said, Once I'm out of this relationship, I'm out of this relationship. Like, I texted her the night of. I was really, really, like, lost. I was like, what the fuck's going on? Like, what do I do that I just lose. Did I just lose this girl? That I just lose this girl? Like, I don't even know what happened. Like, everything happened so quickly. And I texted her and I pretty much told her. I said, don't give up on us or whatever. Like, whatever. She told me, because I try to, like, be poetic with this. And then a week went by, two weeks went by, and I'm like, all right. I don't know if she's going to, like, New Year's went by. New Year's was pretty hard. Like, New Year's was fun, cuz I got to spend it with all my brothers. And I saved a lot of money because I would have paid a lot for her to, like, stay and ski and all that. I save a lot of money there, which is kind of.
Host
What's your. What's your. What's your name, man? What's your name?
Michael
Michael.
Host
Michael. Michael. I've actually been quite engrossed in your story. I truly have. I appreciate you sharing all of this with us. I've let you go on for a while because I kind of started to feel like I was listening to my own podcast, which is a good thing. You've told a very interesting story so far, but I'm gonna go ahead and ask you to cut to the end.
Michael
Please do. So this is Yen, actually. So January, I was in, I went away and she called me and I told her, like, look, that's. That's pretty much. I guess that's it. It is what it is. And throughout the story. Holy 40 minutes is crazy. Throughout the story, when I was away, she tried to get me back. She tried to get me back. And I said, no, that's it. I'm not doing this again. And I was really, like, sentimental with it. I was like, you know what? Like, I'm going to call you. I want closure. And I think this is like, the biggest thing. What I want your advice on. I need closure with stuff like this. And the closure that I had was she called me a couple times, I said no. I sent her. I made some videos of the way to, like, kind of cope with it. I wanted to, like, thank her for the relationship because I didn't want to be too, you know, I didn't want to let her down hard like I did last time, because that was guilty for me. So I told her straight up. I said, you know what?
Host
What, What?
Michael
Thankful.
Host
Okay.
Simon
Okay.
Host
All right, now, now. Now I'm gonna make this a conversation instead of you telling me a story.
Michael
Yes, please. It was too long.
Host
No, it's. I'm glad you. I'm glad you told it. I enjoyed listening to it. It. It's definitely. There's a lot of relatable things in there about. I'm. You're not the only one who I think navigates treacherous waters in this. In this way, but how long. How long has it been since you last talked to this person?
Michael
It's been end of January. And I think the hardest part was I thought I came back and I said, I'm gonna see you again. Because we left off on FaceTime. We actually watched last episode of Stranger Things together. And I said, okay, I'm gonna see you at the end of February. I'm gonna collect my things because I had, like. I gave her a computer, some money for. For some shit that she owes me, and. And some sweaters and stuff. I'm going to see you one last time. And then that's it. I thought I really just needed that last kind of.
Simon
Okay.
Michael
Break the stick and move on.
Host
Okay. Okay.
Michael
Didn't get that.
Host
So how do you feel now? Do you miss her? Are you like, what's your deal, Lyle?
Michael
I'm free, dude. Like, I am. I have everything I need in my life. I have. My. My career is taking off right now. I got so many good people around me. I got good family. I. I'm like. I don't feel guilty for. For my success anymore. I don't feel. I don't want her back. I just wanted to put a bow on this fairy tale we had. And I'm just.
Simon
Because, real quick.
Michael
I believed in her, right?
Host
Stop real quick. There's no. Dude, dude, what's your name again? I'm sorry. You told me a billion times.
Michael
Michael. Michael. Michael Myers. Michael Myers.
Host
Michael Myers. Michael Myers. Dude, we've been talking for so long, I thought that was a different call. Okay, Michael Myers. Dude, you want clo. First of all, closure is not real. That's not a real thing that exists. Okay? You had. First of all, the story you told me had about eight different moments of closure. And the truth is, there's no such thing as closure. Life doesn't have a neat bow at the end. Even when you die, it's like you just die. You know what I mean? It's grief, right? It's grief. It doesn't have Closure. That's the hard thing is that there's no closure. It just ended. You know, that's. And I know it's a bummer take, but you got out good, man. I mean, Jesus Christ. Jesus. What do you want closure for, dude? You got out good. You feet, you. You don't want her back. You seem like you feel great about life. You seem like. You feel like you have great friends. Great.
Michael
Like you have A great.
Host
You're 24. You have a great life, dude.
Simon
What do you want?
Host
You have a great life, dude. You have a. From what you're telling me, you have a great life. You have this way of existing and being that is coming off to me as we're having this conversation that feels as though you. You have a lust for life. You're an optimist. You know how to do shit. You know you're 24. Like, dude, just. I. I don't. I think I genuine. My. You what? If you really want my honest take, after listening to your entire story and hearing you say everything that you just said right now, I think this fucking thing ended the best possible way that it could for you. Okay? Don't ask for anything else. Don't, don't, don't. Don't ask for anything else. What do you want? There's nothing else for. There's nothing else for you to get, dude, Your career's taken off. You have great friends. You don't. You're not. You're not drowning in the feelings. You're not feeling. Woe is me. You're not like, you like your life. You're not wondering. You're not worrying. You're just like, just. What do you. What the fuck do you want? What do you mean? You want closure? Go live your life, dude, there is no closure. Just go live your life. Go live the life that you're telling me right now. If you mean it. If you mean what you're saying, that you really do love your life. Just live. Live the life, man. What are you talking. I can't fathom what you're missing.
Michael
If that.
Host
If you were telling me, right here's the thing, right? If you were. If you were getting all sad sack on me, if you were getting all sad sack on me and you were like, oh, I miss her. I don't know what to do. I'm worrying, I'm dwelling. I'm missing the other thing. But, dude, with the fact that you're coming out of here and you're like, oh, life is great. I'm actually, though, I Don't miss her at all. I, I, I don't want her back. Like, what, what, what do you want? I don't understand what you want, man.
Michael
I think I'm more so, I think I'm just more, more so disappointed in the character, like, she's shown me, and I'm just like, why couldn't I, why couldn't I see that before? Like, you know, like, why does she have to.
Host
Why couldn't you see that?
Michael
Go read.
Host
Because, because you couldn't see that before because you live life forwardly with the information that you have at the time in which you're living, and then you don't know. You don't know anything until you can see that before. Because you don't have a crystal fucking ball that tells you the future. You only have your gut and whatever experience you have at the time, which sounds like it wasn't a lot because you only have so much time you'd lived on the earth. So why couldn't you see that before? That's like, that's like saying, why couldn't I see that before? That's like if you were like, that's like if you turned around and you saw a tree and you were like, why couldn't I see that tree before? It's like, because you couldn't see. You weren't facing the direction of the tree. It's like, it's like if you stare at a wall, it's like if. It's like if you, it's like if you were at home staring at a wall and then you went to the Empire State Building and you were like, why couldn't I. Why couldn't I see the Empire State Building before when I was staring at the wall? Because you weren't looking. It's just, it's a stupid thing, you know? So, like, just lit. Just live. Keep living your life, man. That don't. You don't need anything more. Just keep living life forward. Don't, don't. If, if, if, if you're not in, if you're not deeply shadowed by a pain that's forcing you to spiral and dwell, then, Then don't. Just live your life, man. That's all I got to say about it.
Michael
Sick, man. Yeah. Like, I mean, I kind of had, like, a, that, that thought in mind. I think it was just more so, like, I felt like we deserved a better ending in a way. And that's what I'm kind of holding on to. It's like we had. And I think a part of me is thinking, I could have had that kind of nice ending that I had, and I had it on a phone call with her, but I didn't have it in person because I was. I was away, and I could have had it if there was, like, a snowstorm. There's all these, like, what ifs, but I understand.
Host
Dude, dude, dude, dude. Just. First of all, listen, you got. You got the Sopranos season finale of this relationship. You don't know what that means, do you?
Michael
Yeah, that's a good. The best ending ever. I didn't watch the show, and I just know that.
Host
I also only know the. Anyway, whatever you got, just pit pilot, dude. Just. The dude endings are stupid. I really think they're stupid. Just. You had great middles. Just pick a middle and have that be the ending mentally. Why is it. Why are you so obsessed with an ending? Like, you know, endings and beginnings are stupid buildings.
Michael
Just pick a good ending makes everything. A good ending makes everything better.
Host
What's your. What's your name again, man?
Michael
Michael.
Host
Michael. I'm sorry. I asked you 10 times.
Michael
It's okay. I've watched the podcast enough. I feel honored for you asking me what my name is. It makes me feel like I'm gonna listen back to this. Like, hell, yeah.
Host
Michael, Michael, Michael. Speaking of endings, I appreciate you sharing this whole story with us. This was. This was nice. I. I think I almost feel like the way in which I'm ending this call is similar to the way in which the relationship ended, where it's like, we don't have a nice bow to wrap this up in. It's just, we heard the story, and I gave my feedback, and it's over. But that's life, you know, Life doesn't end with a bow. It's not. You know, you're a filmmaker. You make stuff. You try to end things with a bow, but it just doesn't. It just keeps going. But that's not something to grieve. You know, you have your own little ways in which you can wrap things up with a bow and live your life. But, like, I. Dude, I don't have to tell you, you know, any more times, but just go. Go live your life, man. I'm proud of you. After hearing this whole story, I'm proud of you, Mike. I think you should keep living your life. I'm. I'm rooting for you. So, you know, your story is still being written. Nothing's. You know, you're not dead, man. Just. Just keep going. All right?
Michael
Oh, yeah, man.
Host
Is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go.
Michael
I think the most important thing as like a young teenager is to have good role models surround yourself with good role models. Whether you're consuming content with good role models and because it always helps you guide yourself through life. And J. Cole's the goat. So yeah, it's about it.
Simon
Awesome.
Host
Hey, thank you Mike. I appreciate you for sharing.
Michael
Thanks Val.
Host
Hey, have a good night man.
Michael
See ya. Bye.
Host
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Riley Wilson
This is Riley Wilson and Keon Miller from OK Storytime.
Keon Miller
Okay, honest question. Are you someone that does your taxes the minute you can, or someone who waits until the last possible second?
Riley Wilson
Wow, calling me out already. But yes, last possible second every year.
Keon Miller
Same. Which is why I'm very into anything that makes tax season easier.
Riley Wilson
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Keon Miller
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Riley Wilson
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Host
Hello.
Simon
Yep.
Host
What's your name, brother? How you doing?
Simon
I'm pretty good. My name is Simon.
Host
Simon. Simon and Garfunkel Simon. The tertiary chipmunk from Alvin and the Chipmunks. Simon Cowell.
Simon
Ooh, Simon Cowell was a good one.
Host
Simon says. Who is the Simon in Simon says? Let's look that up right now and then we'll get to whatever it is you wanted to talk about. Hold on.
Simon
Simon says, I honestly have no clue. I have no clue. I never understood what Simon said. And if he says something,
Host
where does it come from? What's the.
Simon
What's I. I thought you would know because it's an American thing, isn't it?
Host
I didn't. It says it's Irish, actually.
Simon
No way.
Host
You know what's interesting is that actually okay. No. In Ireland, the game is called o' Grady says, which is kind of a. I don't think that plays very well on the Wikipedia page for Simon says. There is no information about the origin of it.
Michael
What the hell?
Host
Probably someone named fucking Simon who wanted power. That's what I. That's the. The best. That's the best part of being Simon is all the power. Simon, what did you want to talk about today?
Simon
Ah, well, I don't. Obviously. I don't know if you read the text messages, but, you know, life has been crazy. Life's been okay. Life keeps on being crazy and just never proves me wrong every day.
Host
Well, how is it crazy?
Simon
I Don't know. I feel like since I've moved to the States, I've. I've experienced new stuff that I thought I would never experience before. I've done stuff that I've thought I never do before. And it doesn't have to be necessarily the fact of me being over here and said it's just a matter of me meet my own Persona, my own person. I. I would never, I wouldn't have thought about trying new things like this. Being in a new country, being able to. Finland.
Host
Where are you from?
Simon
I'm from Italy.
Host
Oh, why'd you come here?
Simon
I've met my wife on Kik a long time ago. I don't know if you remember Kik messaging.
Host
Kik, yeah.
Simon
Kik, yeah.
Host
Whatever happened to Kik, bro?
Simon
I don't know. I know it's still out there. It's doing its thing. Who knows? I've tried to get it back just for funsies, but it's just not the same anymore.
Host
But Kick is like, but it's. That's like saying I met my wife on telegram or something, you know, I mean like it's. Is Kik like a place where you kick seems like a place like a messaging app, where you meet people that you are, where you talk to people you already know?
Simon
No, no, no, you're right, you're right. I mean, I met her on Instagram, but then we switched on Kick and started talking to each other every day. And then from there we went from meeting person and all that stuff and then in the end getting married, doing all of it.
Host
Wow. So, okay, and you are from Italy and she's an American.
Simon
Yeah, she's an American.
Host
Whoa. Okay, so you met on Instagram while you were living in. Where, where in Italy?
Simon
I was living in close to, Close to Naples. In a town close to Naples.
Host
And where was she living?
Simon
She was living here in Florida.
Host
Oh, okay. And what was the Instagram exchange?
Simon
I don't know. You know, back then, back then, I used to be used a big social media guy. I used to, I used to post about myself, me going to jam, me doing this, me doing that. And of course I was a pretty good, good looking guy back then. At least consider myself pretty good looking back then. I was confident enough that I was able to put some girls on that app on Instagram back then. And it was, it was easier back then.
Host
It was, it was easy. Why was it easier for you to. Was it because of algorithm changes or did you get fat?
Simon
I don't know. I just, I feel Like, I was confident in myself mostly. That's why I say it was easier. Yeah. Okay.
Host
Okay.
Simon
Yeah.
Host
Okay.
Michael
Yeah.
Host
So you were like a fitness influencer kind of guy?
Simon
No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm just a regular guy, bro. Just a regular guy. But anyway, I. No, it's nothing. It was just from there, I just. She caught my attention. I just. We started talking. She was the one, actually. She was the one who did the first thing. The first. Took the first step and asked if we wanted to do something more. And then we went from there and then dated for. For a couple years and then got married and we've been married for 10 years now. It's going to be 10 years.
Michael
Whoa.
Host
You've been married for 10 years?
Simon
Yeah.
Host
Holy shit. How. How old are you?
Simon
I'm 30.
Host
Oh, well, you guys got married when you were 20?
Simon
Yeah, my early 20s. I know.
Host
Geez, man.
Simon
I know. Definitely. It's definitely a fucking wild ride, brother.
Host
Wow. So when did you move to America?
Simon
Moved to America back in 2016.
Host
Wow.
Simon
So.
Host
Wow. Okay. So, yeah. Right when you got married?
Michael
Yeah, yeah.
Simon
The funny thing is I was waiting for some stuff for me to come over here in the state legally and stuff. I was. I. The meantime, I was. I already bought the tickets. I was already planning to come over here get. Get wedding started and everything, and I literally got my paper to come over here literally the couple days before my wedding. So if, let's say I didn't get that paper in Italy, I wouldn't be able to come over here and attend my wedding at all. Because we planned it over here in the States, not in Italy.
Host
And is she the same age as you?
Simon
Yeah, yeah, she's the same age. She's actually four months. Four months older than me.
Host
Cool. Cool.
Simon
Yeah.
Host
And so what do you do? How often do you go back to the state? How often do you go back to Italy?
Simon
I try to go back at least once a year, but we're planning to move there. We feel like it's a little over here. It's becoming a little too crazy for our taste.
Host
Whoa. Yeah. Florida is the most American place one. One might say.
Simon
Right, right. And actually, bro, I honestly don't blame you if you don't have any tour down here because I checked your list and you know, you don't have anything down here.
Host
Oh, in Florida. Oh, there's no particular reason why. I don't know, maybe I'll add something in Florida. Usually I'll do like Tampa or Orlando or something. Or Miami. Something in Florida. But shit, man, maybe I'll add something in Italy. I've always wanted to do Rome.
Simon
I know you were there for your schooling stuff, right?
Host
Yeah, yeah. Damn. I just can't believe I mentioned that. Yeah, I did. I did stand up there like 10 years ago, something like that, when I was, when I was studying.
Simon
That's crazy. I probably was there at the same time as you in Rome because by that period in 2016, I was in Rome as well. I wonder if I ever passed here. Culture.
Host
What do I think about Italian culture?
Simon
Yeah, culture and food, dude, I love.
Host
I actually, I love Italian food. I love the, all those pizzerias. I love the arancini.
Simon
Love the.
Host
I had a. I had a great time in Rome, man. I really did. I. That was kind of my first time. Like, that was. That was actually kind of where I first started, like falling in love with like traveling and having like weird adventures and stuff.
Simon
I don't blame you.
Host
Time. Yeah, yeah, I missed. I miss Italy. I've been back to Europe a bunch of times to like, do shows and stuff, but I've never been back to, to, to Italy since.
Simon
Oh, that's a shame.
Host
But people there had a good vibe. People there had a goodbye. I remember. I don't know if this was. I don't know if this was like, more reflective of like who I was at the time or if it was more reflective of just like the, the vibe of the place rather. But I, I found that people would talk to each other more on the subway and whatnot. Right. Do you feel that way? Like people see people in Italy are a little bit more open, it seems, than people in America. Is that. Do you think that's true? That's true.
Simon
Yeah. Yes. Yes, it is. They're more like cordial over there. It's more about. It's a lot they care about, a lot about respect. Like they're. It obviously always. It always. It's also important how you present yourself and stuff to them, you know, especially your people over there. They really, you know, niche about just people in general. But, you know, I, I agree with you. I agree with you. And over there though, I could just. Slow paced, I don't know if you noticed. Way more slow paced.
Host
Dude. Did you move from Naples, Italy, to Naples, Florida, brother?
Michael
Close.
Simon
Close enough, Close enough. That's all I gotta say.
Host
Okay, that's. That, that's a bit of a downgrade for Naples.
Simon
I know, I know. My wife, you know, my wife, she throws that in my face every day. I don't have to. I know, I know. She always tells me that she wants to get married in Italy. I don't, I don't blame her. But you know, back then we were young. I wanted to come over here and live some life, live a different life.
Host
So you guys are gonna move to Italy. Are you excited about that or are you gonna miss America?
Simon
I don't know. I'm excited because I'm gonna be with my family. Although my whole family is over there, I'm the only one over here. So that's the positive side. Also, I've been doing more stuff because I've noticed since that, since I moved over here and just a constant of working, working. Go, go home, play some video games, eat dinner, go to gym, go to sleep, repeat, repeat, repeat every day. I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, I used to be able to do more stuff. I used to be playing. I, I used to play soccer a lot with my friends, my brothers. I used to go out just for, you know, for a pizza or something. Just eat it out there on the beach or all these little things, bro. You know, it makes you, makes you miss it. Of course, my home. But I, I also like it over here. I want to say I don't like it. It's just, it's more definitely a different, a different thing. It's like black and white, no?
Host
Is your wife gonna work down in. Are you guys moving to Naples? Like where in Italy are you going?
Simon
No, we're moving close to Naples in a small town where I used to be.
Host
Oh, you're gonna see. You guys are moving to a small Italian town like your hometown?
Simon
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah.
Host
What's her deal?
Simon
We're not gonna be, we're just gonna be there. We're just gonna be there for the meantime because we're gonna have to stay with my parents at least six months. Just trying to figure it out what's my job, what's my, what am I going to do job wise? And if we're going to get. End up getting an apartment or a house or anything like that, you know. But she is not going to work over there. She's going to be a full time mother because we're planning to have a kid over there as well.
Host
Oh, cool. First one.
Simon
Yeah, yeah. Are you excited one I am, I am. I'm more excited about her. I'm excited myself. And I'm glad that we waited all this time because I feel like having a kid way too young, getting married too young is a real. Is Already too much, per se. And having a kid. Ah. It just adds more weight and more responsibilities that I really didn't feel like it wouldn't be good for us at the beginning. Nothing bad for other people. I'm not. I'm just speaking for my own self. But. Yeah, but I'm definitely excited about it and my wife is ready and I'm ready and I think we're mature and, you know, it's going to be nice to see a little. Little Simon or little Ileana walking around house, you know?
Host
That'll be nice, man.
Michael
Yeah.
Host
So. Well, actually, I don't know if we got into this, but did you mention a specific reason or thing that you wanted to talk about or just kind of the ups and downs of life?
Simon
Just. No, just. I mean, like I said, it's just. It's. There was some stuff that I tried over here and, like, also doing drugs, that was part of my life too, a little bit.
Host
What kind of drugs?
Simon
Never thought I was. I did. And this is my wife. She doesn't know. Luckily, she doesn't listen to this podcast. I did cooking. I never, ever thought in my life I'd do cooking, but I tried it, it was fun. And that's it. And currently we're doing just. We're just smoking the pen, me and my wife. My wife, she was always against this kind of stuff, and now she ends up doing the same thing I do. She kind of accepted it and she liked it. Now she enjoys it. You know, we do it every time. Play some art creators, Fortnite and Night Family and just have a good time.
Michael
Oh, yeah.
Simon
But, yeah, quite a new initiate.
Host
So she doesn't know that you once did cocaine?
Simon
No, she will kill me when she.
Host
Why she would kill you? Wait, how long ago did you do it?
Simon
How long? No, it was. No, I was not. Nothing crazy, dude. It was literally just. Maybe I tried it for like, maybe four times in a span of two months.
Host
No, I mean, how long ago was it? It's not like you did cocaine last Thursday.
Simon
Oh. Oh, it was a couple of years ago. It was a couple years ago.
Host
Okay.
Michael
Yeah.
Simon
Yeah. Nothing crazy.
Host
And. Yeah. So you guys. You guys are pen hitters.
Michael
You were.
Simon
We're pen hitters. I used to be a. I give up. I gave up on the. On the. What's that thing that you smoke the pipe? Because I end up getting obliterated on that end and you don't want to see me like that, bro. Honestly, my wife, she's seen enough.
Host
Now when you guys go To Italy. You're gonna have to give up the drugs, I think. I think it's pretty illegal there.
Simon
Yeah, I know. But you know what? I don't give a. It's whatever. Life comes and goes and honestly, I
Michael
think it would be.
Simon
We'd be better off without it, especially if we're gonna. Planning to have a kid anyway. So kind of you got to be responsible, I guess.
Host
That's true. It's true. It's true. It's true.
Michael
Yeah.
Host
What's your name?
Simon
What about you? My name is Simon.
Host
Simon. Simon Cowell, dude. Cool. Does your wife speak Italian?
Simon
Yeah, she's actually, she's more like. And she, she understands it more than she speaks it. She can speak it. She's just really shy and she's really self aware of herself. She's like, dude, I started, I started. I do the same thing. I used to do the same thing with English. I'm just gotta. I. Especially when I moved over here, I had to deal with it. I had to start speaking with people and here I am. I'm pretty sure you can still hear a little bit of my accent, but there's nothing I can do.
Host
I thought. I actually, I thought you were like Latin American.
Simon
Oh, boy. Even on the phone.
Host
Oh, no. Do you get this a lot?
Simon
Oh my God.
Michael
Brother.
Simon
So they just look at me and they actually assume automatically that might be Cuban. Argentinian.
Host
Well, dude, I mean, you're, you're. You live in fucking Florida. I feel like Italians are not like. I mean, Italian Americans are rampant amongst America, but like Italian. Italians are not really.
Simon
Yeah, I know, I know.
Host
Around.
Simon
Yeah. Do you know any curse word in Italian?
Host
I know I find coolo.
Simon
Oh, good one. Okay, that's it.
Host
Do you guys. If you want to teach me, before we go, hit me with a couple.
Simon
I can teach you Tronso peto di merda. The worst one is Porco Dio, but that's for people that, you know, are religious.
Host
Porco Dio, that's. That's God is a pig, right?
Simon
Yeah, it's kind of my favorite one, I'm not gonna lie. Porco dio or diocane or something like that.
Host
Okay, what do the other ones mean?
Simon
Diokane means. It's basically calling God a dog. Pretty much.
Host
Come of a dog.
Simon
No, no. Calling God a dog pretty much.
Host
Okay, so these are mainly just curses towards God?
Simon
Yeah, well, in my language, in my dialect, we have so many curse words. We can literally just start cursing your ancestors and your mother's ancestors and all that bullshit. It's crazy. My language is crazy like that.
Host
Well Simon, personally I hope your answer ancestors are doing great.
Simon
Same thing you brought.
Host
Is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
Simon
Enjoy life and just be kind. Thank you for taking my call, brother.
Host
Hey, of course man. Get blessed.
Simon
Get blessed brother.
Host
Yeah. Simon forever.
Simon
Simon Forever.
Host
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THERAPY GECKO: “I TRIED SO HARD TO MAKE IT WORK”
iHeartPodcasts | March 22, 2026
This episode features host Lyle the Therapy Gecko taking two deeply personal, international calls: Michael, a young Canadian-Italian navigating a fraught love story with an undocumented Mexican partner, and Simon, an Italian immigrant sharing cultural reflections and the journey of building a new life (and soon, a family) in America. The main theme is love, loss, personal growth, and the search for closure in the messiness of real life—sometimes across languages, borders, and family expectations.
“There was something in me that was like, no, like, I gotta try with this girl. I gotta see what it’s like.” – Michael (09:04)
“Every relationship, I needed a girl to love me as much as I love them… I did something I never done before for any person, and I love someone without them reciprocating that back.” – Michael (32:05)
"You couldn’t see that before because you live life forwardly with the information that you have...” – Gecko (48:14)
“Just pick a middle and have that be the ending mentally. Endings are stupid. You had great middles.” – Gecko (50:28)
“Enjoy life and just be kind.” (74:26)
The conversation is candid, self-aware, and often wry, with deep introspection punctuated by classic Gecko humor. Lyle embodies empathetic but no-nonsense wisdom, pushing callers to accept the messiness of life without demanding tidy conclusions. Both callers—Michael with his emotional turbulence, and Simon with his pragmatic optimism—offer contrasting, relatable views on the challenges and beauty of moving forward.
This episode epitomizes Therapy Gecko’s style: real, unvarnished discussions about life, relationships, and growth—always spiced with humor, cultural perspective, and the encouragement to keep moving, even if you’ll never get the closure you think you want.