“I WANT TO BE WORSHIPPED”

Summary

Therapy Gecko – Episode Summary: “I WANT TO BE WORSHIPPED”

Podcast: Therapy Gecko – iHeartPodcasts
Date: September 21, 2025
Host: Lyle, The Therapy Gecko

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Lyle (the gecko) takes calls from strangers to talk about relationships, social anxiety, and the weirdness of trying to connect as humans. The title, “I WANT TO BE WORSHIPPED,” comes from a memorable call with Chelsea, who discusses her newfound relationship joy in being “worshipped” by her partner and what it means to be honest about our relationship needs. The episode also explores themes of friendship, self-acceptance, and the slow grind of building community.

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Key Discussions & Insights

1. Chelsea’s Relationship Plot Twist: The Joy of Being “Worshipped”

[03:12–21:28]

Main Points

• Chelsea, a long-time listener and NYC resident, shares how a Therapy Gecko episode inspired her to put herself back out in the dating world.
• She describes taking a more open, honest approach to dating, which led her to her current month-old relationship.
• Chelsea and her partner communicated openly about her preference to be “worshipped”—not in a literal sense but in wanting attentiveness and romantic gestures.

Notable Moments & Quotes

• Lyle: “What does that mean to you, to be worshipped?” [15:44]
• Chelsea: “I feel like I have his full attention a lot of times, which is great.” [15:56]
• Chelsea: “I think that’s like, my thing… I want to be worshipped.” [15:28]
• Lyle: “Can you have respect for someone who blindly worships you?” [16:34]
• Chelsea: “I think I respect it because, to me, I feel like a man who can lean into his romantic side—I like that… I like PDA now. I like these things and it's okay.” [16:48–17:34]
• Lyle on relationship wisdom: “There’s competing narratives… One is, ‘all you need is to get what you want,’ another is, ‘be okay alone and poor and living in a tree.’ The answer is somewhere between those two places.” [09:49]

Themes

• Relationship security and anxiety relief
• Accepting your needs and finding a partner who matches them
• How cultural expectations of “independence” and “self-sufficiency” can clash with real emotional needs

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2. Skepticism & Realism: Brandon Weighs In

[21:34–44:04]

Main Points

• Brandon, a caller, expresses concern about the sustainability of being “worshipped” in relationships, based on his own past experiences of codependence.
• He cautions that these dynamics can lead to hardship and resentment when the reality of life sets in.
• Lyle and Brandon discuss how, for some people, these roles really do work, but for most, moderation and caution are key.

Notable Moments & Quotes

• Brandon: “A month in, wanting to be worshipped… I wouldn’t necessarily think is the most healthy thing.” [22:27]
• Lyle: “It can be an element of a relationship, but if it’s the basis… it can lead to resentments.” [26:34]
• Lyle (on relationship paths): “No matter how you do it, you risk being thrown in a dumpster.” [35:51]
• Lyle (on uniqueness and luck): “For every woman who wants to be worshipped, there’s a guy who wants to give all of his money to someone. And I place no moral value judgment on either of those MOs.” [29:44]

Themes

• Codependency and relationship health
• The intoxicating feeling of being needed
• Every relationship is a unique gamble—no formula guarantees success

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3. Social Anxiety and Networking: Angie’s NYC Adventure

[48:23–60:05]

Main Points

• Angie travels from Phoenix to NYC for a major music festival work assignment, expresses simultaneous excitement and social anxiety.
• Lyle affirms that nervousness and awkwardness are not just normal, but expected—and that being liked has more to do with being positive and not being a jerk than being perfectly composed.
• Angie is inspired by Lyle’s “email GS”—his practice of pushing through discomfort by just talking—and tries to network despite her anxiety.

Notable Moments & Quotes

• Lyle: “You’re totally gonna say stupid things… that’s an inherent thing.” [53:23]
• Lyle: “Nobody… you don’t matter that much to people, which is good.” [54:37]
• Lyle: “You don’t have to be perfect… just existing positively.” [55:37]

Themes

• Imposter syndrome in new environments
• The value of showing up, trying, and being kind over being impressive

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4. Making Friends & Building Community: Kevin’s “Corrosive” Freshman Experience

[66:05–92:33]

Main Points

• 18-year-old Kevin, lonely at university, doubts Lyle’s oft-repeated “go to events and keep showing up” advice for making friends.
• Lyle shares his own long, awkward journey toward community in college and other phases of life, emphasizing that discomfort is a normal and necessary precursor to connection.
• Kevin admits his only close high school friends “adopted” him, fueling his doubt in his own social skills.
• Lyle doubles down: showing up consistently, contributing, and surviving the corrosive discomfort is the only real path to friendship.
• Kevin is challenged: try multiple events, contribute, and let Lyle know in a year—otherwise, Lyle vows (jokingly) to eat a cup of diarrhea.

Notable Moments & Quotes

• Lyle: “You only went once… It’s supposed to feel bad and corrosive at first.” [79:26–81:01]
• Lyle: “You have to provide value to the community in some way, right?” [83:51]
• Lyle: “Please call me in a year… If you’ve tried all of this and still feel horrible, then I’ll eat my own diarrhea.” [89:39–91:00]
• Kevin: “I feel extremely corroded.” [79:26]

Themes

• The grind and time required to form real connections
• Luck plays a role—but luck is improved by persistently showing up
• The misconception that connection should feel natural and immediate

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Chelsea about being “worshipped”: “I like feeling this way, or I like these things and it’s okay.” [17:34]
• Lyle on relationships: “No matter how you do it… you risk being thrown in a dumpster.” [35:51]
• Lyle on making friends: “It’s straightforward. It’s like working out… but it’s just time consuming.” [92:37]

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Timestamps for Main Segments

• [03:12] – Chelsea’s call: Relationship honesty and being “worshipped”
• [21:34] – Brandon’s skepticism: The dangers of early relationship idolization
• [48:23] – Angie: Social anxiety and making the most of new opportunities
• [66:05] – Kevin: The grind of making friends and surviving corrosive loneliness

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Recurring Episode Tone

The episode is marked by humor, honesty, and self-deprecation. Lyle champions awkwardness, repeated failed attempts, and the importance of “existing positively,” giving permission to not have things figured out. The tone remains empathetic and forthright, peppered with Lyle’s comedic asides and gecko-themed wisdom.

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Conclusion

“I WANT TO BE WORSHIPPED” is a Therapy Gecko deep-dive into relationship needs, the high of romantic affirmation, the slow patience of friendship-building, and the realness of social anxiety. Through candid listener stories, Lyle reminds us that whether it’s a new romance or finding your people, honesty, persistence, and acceptance of messiness are key—and that sometimes, all you can do is keep showing up.

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Notable Sign-off:
“If you email me in a year… and you’ve done all this and still feel horrible, I’ll eat a Dixie cup of diarrhea. I really will.” – Lyle [90:41]

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Transcript

[Lyle]

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[Chelsea]

Hello.

[Lyle]

Hi. What is your name?

[Chelsea]

Hi. This is Chelsea.

[Lyle]

Chelsea. What's up, Chelsea? How's your night going?

[Chelsea]

It's good. Is this Lyle?

[Lyle]

This is. Yes. Yes.

[Chelsea]

Wow. No way.

[Lyle]

Have we spoken before?

[Chelsea]

No, never.

[Lyle]

Well, how nice that we're. How nice that we finally get to get to chat. I'm here. You know what, Chelsea? I'm letting you know right now, I'm nowhere but here. You have my full, complete, utter attention right now. I mean that. I don't know. I feel. I feel very locked in today. So. So let's. Let's do that. I'm not even. I'm turning all the brightness on my computer down and looking at the fucking computer.

[Chelsea]

No, me neither. I'm just on the phone.

[Lyle]

What's up, Chelsea? How you doing?

[Chelsea]

I'm good. I'm just. I'm hanging out with this cat that I'm fostering. I just got home from being out in the city. I also live in New York City.

[Lyle]

What were you doing out? What were you doing out?

[Chelsea]

I was meeting up with a friend who. We both, like, work near each other, but, like, don't meet up that often. And we were just like, why don't we do this? So we. We finally did it, and now we're planning, like, an Oktoberfest, you know, outing on particle. So we were. We were kind of like bonding over the fact that, like, we have all these friends that are like, let's hang out. And then we never do. So we're trying to take action on that.

[Lyle]

That's good. Yeah. It's always good to hang out with your friends. Unless if your friends are. Are serial killers. I'm gonna. I'm gonna try to have a normal conversation. I don't know why I'm feeling the need to do. To do that. Okay, let me ask you this, Chelsea. And it's fine. If not, we can go in a million different direction. What's. Direct directions with this, but was there anything specific that you. You said you've been listening to the podcast for a long time, so you've probably heard. Yeah, all the things. And I'm not saying necessarily that we have to talk about any depressing things from your life, unless, if you want to. But I Am saying that, you know, you've been listening to the podcast, you kind of understand what's up. So I'll ask you if, is there anything in particular that you wanted to dive into while we're. While I'm motherfucking locked in to the phone right now?

[Chelsea]

Well, there was something I thought of. So, you know that one caller that was talking about, they were like, on their first date in the car. We found love in a parked car.

[Lyle]

I was just thinking about that today, if you would believe it.

[Chelsea]

Okay, so I listened to that episode and then I was listening to the Geck Mail episode where they followed up on that. Do you remember that how?

[Lyle]

I do.

[Chelsea]

She was like, this is what. Like, this is my message to everyone else out there. And like, I was going through it, like, with just like a weird non relationship thing. And then that like, really inspired me to, you know, make an effort in like fully putting myself out there and what I really want. And I think I found it. And it's like, it's weird, like a plot twist happened. But yeah, it's. I gained hope from that and it.

[Lyle]

Worked out really well. It sound. It was that easy.

[Angie]

I mean, it, like, not easy.

[Chelsea]

Like, it definitely took like a bunch of trials and errors. And like after an error, I would go like months or maybe even like years without trying anything. But then this time I was just like, okay, I'm just gonna be honest and be like, you know, I'm a very emotional, romantic person and like, I don't want to date people that are super nonchalant about stuff and pretending like we don't like each other. And then I was like, I guess I got lucky or, I mean, who knows? Maybe this person is also crazy. You never know. But it's crazy how when you feel secure in something that you're not like constantly spiraling and like feeling anxious all the time because I definitely have anxiety over things, so it's nice to feel calm.

[Lyle]

So since you've found this secure relationship, you've been feeling more calm.

[Chelsea]

Yeah. And I was, I was telling my sister, like, she lives in California. And I was like, yeah, I don't really call you as much because normally I'm like spiraling out over something, but now I'm just, you know, I feel great. So I feel bad.

[Lyle]

How long have you been with this guy for?

[Chelsea]

I mean, it's only. It's only been a month, but. Okay, it's been a very promising and consistent month.

[Lyle]

Like, yeah, this is. Yeah, this is one of the. Can I. Can I Ask how old you are.

[Chelsea]

I'm 32.

[Lyle]

Okay. You just met this guy a month ago.

[Chelsea]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

And this is the. This is the. Would you say this is the calmest you've felt in a while?

[Chelsea]

Yeah. I was even telling him. I was like, I'm normal. I'm normally, like, really nervous around, like, guys or people that I'm meeting up with. And, like, I'm strangely calm.

[Lyle]

Are you. Are you. Do you feel calm in general?

[Chelsea]

Yeah, which is kind of crazy because I definitely am, like. Like, I. I have anxiety. I'm being treated for it. But, yeah, it's. It's nice. It's very refreshing, I think.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Yeah. This is really funny because there's a lot of. There's competing narratives that exist in the world, each of them possessing their own validities. I promise I'm gonna say something. There's competing narratives in the world, each of them possessing their own validities. One narrative says that all you have to do to become happy is to get what you want. And that's what makes sense. You know, you want love, and then when you find it, you feel better. And then there are narratives that go, you actually need to not want anything, and you have to be okay with being alone and poor and living in a tree. And the answer, as I understand it, lies somewhere between those two places. Right. Because I just. It's a weird, bullshit narrative. I think it's a bullshit narrative that.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

You know, you're supposed to be totally okay being alone. I think it pisses people off. But on the flip side is, of course, if your whole life mission is to find someone to make you not anxious, then there's something weird. It's not a. It's, like, very. Not black and white in either direction. Yeah, that's just what I. That's just what's going. That's just what's going through my mind as I'm hearing you talk about this. What did you see?

[Chelsea]

No, I was gonna say, like, I saw something where it's like, everyone says that, you know, it takes a village, and everyone needs their village, but nowadays, people can't really deal with being inconvenienced. But that's kind of the point of, like, having those people is like, you know, you would go out of your way to make them feel included. And I think that's, like. It's something that I've thought about, you know, when it comes to, like, having people in your life. Like, am I getting back as much as I put in? And I feel like nowadays people are so quick to write things off as, like, you know, well, I'm not really getting anything in return, so, like, I'm just not gonna put any effort into it. But, yeah, it's a give and take.

[Lyle]

So you feel calm?

[Chelsea]

Yeah, it's very strange.

[Lyle]

This is the first time you're 32 is the first time you've ever felt calm.

[Chelsea]

I mean, relationship wise. Yeah, it's like, I haven't had much experience in adult relationships, but, yeah, it feels nice.

[Lyle]

Well, that's good. I. Yeah, I used to. Go ahead.

[Chelsea]

I was gonna say that I got into your podcast because I used to go on long walks and just, like, listen to your podcast. Whenever I would be, like, crashing out over something, and it really helps to, you know, just listen to other people's stories and perspective. And I would recommend it to my friends whenever they're going through something. I would be like, I go on these things called emo walks, and I would just put on my headphones and walk around the city and listen to a podcast. That way I'm not, like, thinking about my own situation.

[Lyle]

I'm happy to be an accompaniment of your emo walk. I truly am. I'm honored to hear that. So this is the. So after many years, you're like, okay, let me finally really try to put myself out there. And it worked.

[Chelsea]

Yeah. And I think what really also clicked was, like, being honest with myself and, like, it's okay that I'm. I feel like I'm needy in relationships. And, you know, now I've learned, like, you know, you'll find some. You'll find someone that is okay with that, because this guy was like, I. I want to worship you, and, you know, I want to be with you. And he was very, you know, vocal about.

[Lyle]

He said. He said he wanted to worship you.

[Chelsea]

Yeah. And then I. I told him. I was like, I think that's, like, my thing. I think. And that. I think that's a thing that people have.

[Lyle]

Your. Your. Your. Your thing is that you want to be worshiped.

[Angie]

Yes.

[Chelsea]

And, yeah, we had a whole conversation about it, and she's on board.

[Lyle]

Wow. Interesting. What is that? What does that mean to you, to be worshiped?

[Chelsea]

I mean, like, so far, it's just like. It's the attentiveness. You know, he'll text me every night and every morning, like, good morning, beautiful Chelsea. Good night, beautiful Chelsea. It's very sweet and romantic and, yeah, I feel like I have his full attention a lot of times, which is great.

[Lyle]

Is he older or younger?

[Chelsea]

He's Two years younger, but I'm a benevolent goddess, not malevolent.

[Lyle]

Okay. Okay. Does that worry you at all? Like, do you risk this some. Can you have respect for someone who blindly worships you?

[Chelsea]

I mean, I do in a sense of, like, we. We really had a connection before this conversation came up. And, you know, we were both like, is it love bombing if we're both on board with it and into it? I don't know. But no, I. I think I respect it because, to me, I feel like a man who can lean into his romantic side. Like, I like that because I've dated guys before where, like, they won't even hold my hand, and I'm just like, what's the point? Like, do you even like me, you.

[Lyle]

Know, Dated guys who won't hold your hand?

[Chelsea]

Yeah. No. These exist. They're out there and crazy. Yeah. So I don't know. Like, growing up, I would be like, ew, pda. But now that I'm in a relationship, I'm like, no, I like pda. Like, to. To a reasonable extent, but it's. I feel like it's just been a process of, like, being honest with myself and, like. No, I. I like feeling this way, or. I like these things and it's okay.

[Lyle]

How did you.

[Chelsea]

Like, it's not embarrassing.

[Lyle]

How did you meet this. This gentleman?

[Chelsea]

I met him on Hinge. I had the app for, like. I've downloaded it and deleted it many a times, and this time I redownloaded it, and it was about, like a week in, and he seemed nice.

[Lyle]

Mm hmm. That's really nice. It sounds. This sounds good. This sounds like a good thing. Maybe. Probably prob. Probably. It's probably a good thing. Yeah.

[Chelsea]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

I mean, it gives you.

[Chelsea]

Hopefully optimistic.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chelsea]

I mean, cautiously optimistic.

[Lyle]

Good. Things happening in your life is good.

[Chelsea]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Yes. Right, right, right. I don't know. What. I don't know where I came. I'm sorry. I hope that. I feel like this is connected to what you're saying, at least in my brain it is. But I think I. Somewhere along the line, fell into some stoic ideation that, you know, you should enjoy life however it is, but. And then there's truth to this, truth to that, but also falsehood to it, I think.

[Chelsea]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

But, Bo, be careful, I guess. I don't know.

[Chelsea]

Yeah, no, I'm definitely, like, it's one month. I feel like I've had enough experiences dabbling in relationships, and, like, I. Yeah, I. I'm seeing green. Green flags.

[Lyle]

Good, good. Chelsea?

[Chelsea]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Whole neighborhood in New York called Chelsea.

[Chelsea]

I know. I work in that neighborhood. I have to really, like, close my ears all the time.

[Lyle]

Chelsea. In Chelsea.

[Chelsea]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Well, what now? Chelsea? Yeah. Before we go. What now? Let's. What now? What now? Chelsea?

[Chelsea]

I think we just have to be honest with ourselves in what we want and at the same time, you know, be cautious, but don't stop yourself from putting yourself out there, you know? Yolo.

[Lyle]

Is there anything else that you want to say to the people of the computer before we go, Chelsea?

[Chelsea]

Yes, I've thought about this. Get a bidet if you don't have one.

[Lyle]

Yeah, we need.

[Angie]

Really great.

[Lyle]

We need a bidet sponsor. I. I'm dying to get a bidet. Man, I hate my. Is always life changing, covered in diarrhea. I'm trying to get a bidet.

[Chelsea]

Yeah, it'll change your life. It's a great feeling.

[Lyle]

Thank you, Chelsea. You have a good rest of the night.

[Chelsea]

Bye.

[Angie]

Thank you.

[Kevin]

Hello.

[Lyle]

What's up, man?

[Brandon]

Hey, what's up?

[Lyle]

What's your name?

[Brandon]

Not much, man. I just wanted to see, you know. No, I feel like no one ever asked how you're doing. How are you doing, buddy?

[Lyle]

How am I doing?

[Brandon]

Yes, sir.

[Lyle]

My honest answer is that I, I actually, I don't really want to talk about how I'm doing, to be honest. But I want to talk about how you're doing. You texted me. Can I tell you texted me and you said Chelsea was kind of crazy, a lot of red flags in her and that relationship and. Yeah, I don't know if I necessarily agree, but I would love to have the conversation as to why you believe that.

[Brandon]

I just feel like a month in and wanting to be worshipped is kind of something I wouldn't necessarily think is the most healthy thing. Being in a situation that I have been in before where, you know, you get a little bit obsessed about someone. Not necessarily obsessed, but really enthralled with it. Can. It can lead to some really hard times.

[Lyle]

Tell. Okay, it sounds like you're speaking from some form of personal experience. Do you. Do you care to share?

[Brandon]

Yeah. So basically it just, you know, you get it. You get really attached to someone. And then when things aren't always ideal, you know, health issues, things of that nature start to occur. A lot of hardship happens. And when someone grows accustomed to being quote, unquote, worshiped, it tends to lead to a lot of troubled times when, you know, you can't. You can't do that for them. When you need to try and focus on yourself, if that makes any sense. Yes, and so I'm worried that, you know, and I mean no disrespect to her, but it's just. It can lead to a lot of really hard times down the road when that's what your relationship has kind of become and almost based on and it no longer is.

[Lyle]

Yeah, I see what you mean. I see what you mean. Because something can start off with a dynamic of, I want to worship you. And then you can debate as to how. Oh, fuck. You can debate as to how sustainable that dynamic is. Yes, I agree.

[Brandon]

Exactly.

[Lyle]

I agree.

[Brandon]

Exactly.

[Lyle]

I agree.

[Brandon]

And that can lead to a lot of really, really tough decisions and hard times, you know, a little bit farther down the road. Not necessarily saying that it will always happen, but it definitely can. And most times leads to really tough decisions that are later in life. I mean, I know that she was in her early 30s, so, you know, if it happens when you're 40, these things can become even more, like, devastating.

[Lyle]

How old are you, sir?

[Brandon]

I'm 31.

[Lyle]

Did you have a woman in your life once that you. You worshiped?

[Brandon]

I wouldn't say worshiped, but it was like a heavy codependency.

[Lyle]

Sure, yeah. Yeah. Or that one or. Or that wanted you to worship her?

[Brandon]

In a sense, yeah. Like a big sense of. Not, like, what people for me, but always expecting me to, you know, be the provider of financial or emotional or mental help.

[Lyle]

Yeah. It's funny, I've had my own experience with something like this, and it was hard to gauge because I actually. I enjoy. I enjoyed it. I'd lie if I say. If I said I didn't enjoy it because I liked. I liked the idea of providing and I liked. It made me super happy to do things for this person and to.

[Brandon]

Exactly. That feeling of being needed is always. It's fulfilling.

[Lyle]

It's the best. Yeah. It's the best. I mean, yeah, I was thinking today there was this. I went to, like, pick up a. Like, a shirt for. For this lady late at night, and she was like, you're my hero. And I was like, oh, that's the best feeling in the world, you know? Yeah. But I. And so there's actually, you know. I know, I know from the guy's perspective as to why that feels so good, then, why that, you know, even though I guess it doesn't on paper sound like a good arrangement, but it can feel really amazing to, you know, feel needed and to feel like you're really taking care of somebody else and whatnot. But I also, again, from that perspective, understand why that can Be unsustainable over the. Over. Over a long period of time. Yes. I don't think that that's. Yeah, people change and feelings change and situations change. And I can see why. Yeah. Why it's not. I think it can be an element of a relationship. But if, if it's the basis of can. Yeah, it can lead to, to, to resentments and all these other things. But it's enticing and it's enticing on both sides. It's enticing for the, for the woman who is, you know, getting that kind of treatment. It's enticing for the man who is. Is enthralled by his opportunity to provide that kind of treatment. You know, some people make. Some people fucking make it work. Some people really are just like. Everyone has different modest operandis. I think I'm saying is. Am I saying that. Hold on, I'm gonna completely interrupt this conversation. Is it modus operandi? Okay, all right, I got it Right. Some people have different MO's, and for someone, their MO might be. I want to fucking. Like that's their thing. Like that's their addiction. Like, like, like it's actually kind of funny and, and works and honestly is probably the basis of like inherent human biology that it's like there are a lot of. There are a lot of women out there who are like, I just want. I want to be taken care of. I want to be a princess. I want to be worshiped. That's like the thing that I want. And there are guys and then, and then for every one of those women, there's a guy out there who's like, I want to just give all of my money to someone. Just have all of my money, have all of my money and look at me sometimes. And that would make me so, so happy. And I don't think any of. I don't. I place no moral value judgment on either of those MOs. But yeah, they coexist. Yeah. And I'm sure there's fucking long term relationship, however long termish relationships that are. Operate that way. But they have kinks. For sure. I get what you're saying. They have kinks.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Really spot on advice with being cautious. It can be a little bit dangerous when it's, you know, a month in.

[Lyle]

Right.

[Brandon]

And that's going on. Especially like not saying that Chelsea is. Or any. By any means. But if somebody could be emotionally unstable and then having this dynamic, it could turn into something very toxic and really hurtful at the end.

[Lyle]

Yeah, I see what you mean. And I appreciate you going at this from a logical perspective because, yeah, the emotional roller coaster is kind of running high. But for Chelsea, as someone. And I. I don't know if I dove too deep into it with her, but as somebody who, you know, I get it. If she's been so anxious for so long to. To be like. I mean, at 32, to just be like, why do I. To just. To head. To find something that kind of works. And for like a month, you have a thing where you're like, oh, my God, am. I didn't know it was physically possible to feel peaceful. It's a crazy moment if you're. And I get it. If you're a person who's been, like, in a. In a. In an anxious spiral for their entire life. 32 years. It's a long time to fight. It's. It's. It's in. It's so. So exciting, this idea that you might be relieved of this fucking burden. But it cut. But it comes back. You know, it comes back. It doesn't leave. It doesn't leave.

[Brandon]

Come back down to ground.

[Lyle]

Yeah, you come back down to ground eventually. And you might. It might be a kind of a two steps forward, one step back, kind of a coming back. Yeah. But you got to be wary, because I have experienced this multiple times in my life where, yeah, you enter a new relationship, or you think of. You have just a new lease on something external to yourself or fucking internal to yourself gives you a new lease on life. And then you're like, oh, this is great. Everything's gonna be amazing forever. I fucking finally figured it out. Oh, my God. They all told me I couldn't, but I did it. I found a man to worship me. I found a woman to worship. I'm so calm. I'm so happy. Everything's great. And it's gonna be like this forever. Let's get married. Let's have three kids, have all my money, joint bank accounts, Vegas, shotgun wedding. Everything is going to be great. Because. Of course. And why would you not do that? Why would you not.

[Kevin]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

If you've been going insane for 32 years, this is nothing I'm not. Does not point it at Chelsea, by the way. This is actually just. I'm drawing this in general. I'm drawing this general and from, you know, my own life and, you know, just knowing whatever I know about the human condition is. Of course not. Of course. Yeah, of course. You get. If you have finally you find something that gives you some sort of relief, you're gonna be Drawn to it. Like, it. Like, it's like it's oxygen. So, of course. And I don't blame anyone. I. If you're like. If you get, like, the. The kid. The people who are like, yeah, I met my. I met this lady at a bar and we got married in two weeks afterwards. That's not a weird story to me. They used to be a weird story to me. And now it makes perfect sense.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah.

[Lyle]

I don't know if it makes perfect sense. Yeah, I don't know if it makes perfect sense in terms of. This is a logistically good decision, but it makes perfect sense as to why people are driven to do that. This is perfect sense.

[Brandon]

You know, sometimes it just. You know, it could just take that one spark to, you know, change something different in that person's life, which could lead to a better life for that person individually as well.

[Lyle]

Yeah. And I also. I used to think it was, like, stupid, but sometimes it just. You can. You can connect with a. If you really motherfucking connect with a person, especially if you're, like, weird and you don't connect with a lot of people and you finally find someone you do kind of connect with. It's like, yeah, I could get why you're like, well, fuck, let's go all in, you know, with. When the fuck. I've never felt this way before. Let's keep going. But I. It also has the potential to leave you high and dry. But you know what else has the potential to leave you high and dry? I mean, remember the lady a few episodes ago who got divorced? She did everything right. That was her whole thing. She did everything right. She dated for, like, she lived. She got married the way that. Like my fucking parents did, in a way where they date for a while. Like that normal shit. You date for a while and then you decide maturely on a mature, regular adult timeline to have children and to get married and to do all these things, and then she. Then you get left high and dry fucking doing it that way. Right. So what? No matter how you do it. No matter how you do it, you risk being thrown in a dumpster. So, you know, I'm saying. Am I making any sense?

[Brandon]

You absolutely are. I think you're speaking perfectly, to be honest, Because, I mean, it could. It could happen anyway. And whatever works for you works for you, but there is always that risk. So whatever works for you, you just gotta go with what you feel.

[Lyle]

There's all the times where like a Fucking, like some. You know, I. This is one of the ways in Which I think I've matured is like, I, I've been going back and like, because I. There's like, there's like calls from like, there's a bunch of calls from like 2022 that I recorded and never did anything with. And I'm going back and putting them on the, the Patreon and I'm like listening to some of them and I'm like, in the like three years ago, if someone called me and they're like, I'm 18 and I'm getting married to my other 18 year old girlfriend, I'd be like. And I still think I'm a little bit right, but I'd be like, this is so. This is really stupid and you shouldn't do this. It's not gonna work. And I would be very, I think, convinced about that. But the older I get, the more I realize I don't know any. Everything's beyond me. And there's been plenty of, I'm sure, relationships like that that crash and burn because of the obvious reasons why they might crash and burn, but then plenty that just keep going, you know, I mean, we had that guy on the podcast, he's 32, been with the same lady since he was fucking 16. So like, it's not a one size fits all solution. Well, I'm gonna stop talking in generalities. What's your name?

[Brandon]

My name is Brandon.

[Lyle]

How's your love life going, Brandon?

[Brandon]

Right now I'm single. Very cautiously single.

[Lyle]

Cautiously single? You're 31?

[Brandon]

Yes, sir.

[Lyle]

What is cautiously single mean? What's the difference between single and cautiously single?

[Brandon]

Well, when I was younger, you know, I just go out, have a good time. Didn't really care about what would happen. You know, sometimes you meet a girl and things just turn into a situationship relationship, whatever it may be. But as you go on, you really have to start putting things in perspective and realizing like, you know, sometimes one good night is a good night, but you got, you got to really focus on what, what the goals are in your life and who can match those and what, what's suitable for you.

[Lyle]

Yeah, that's true. What did you get put through the.

[Brandon]

Ringer a little bit? Yeah, it was just a lot of ups and downs, miscarriage, all different sorts of financial struggles, mental struggles. So now it's just kind of like, you know, you. I'm really focused on. Timing isn't really my issue. It's more of hitting. Hitting the target where I need to, if that makes any sense.

[Lyle]

Explain a little more hitting the target when you need to.

[Brandon]

Like, my goals, who I want in my life that can help me achieve those goals. Who has goals themselves that I can help them achieve. Work is a. As a team, not necessarily individuals, but, you know, individually a team, if that makes any sense. Where we can both seed succeed and try and just build something together that's more than just the initial feeling of, oh, my gosh, this person's so great. I want to be with this person. And more of like, all right, let's. Let's take things real slow and see, you know, how are we going to be feeling about this in a month, six months, a year? Like, are we still on the same page, same wavelength? Is everything working out? Things of that nature?

[Lyle]

I still believe I. I think I'm holding on hope where I'm like, I'm gonna find someone and it's. It's just gonna be easy. You know what I mean? I don't know.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah, that would be the goal, but. And that's why when you go through some really hard hardships and tough relationships, sometimes maybe I'm just a little jaded, but sometimes I have to really slow down and not just get caught up and wrapped up in the emotion.

[Lyle]

I've met people in personal life and on the show and in whatever where they're like, some people, Some people, it is easy. I think some people, it is just easy. And then other people, yeah, they're a little more. They're a little more jaded about it. You know, a lot of that shit, I feel like, depends on the luck of the draw of your own personal experiences and whatever hand you got delts as who you are.

[Brandon]

Exactly.

[Lyle]

But I appreciate this sentiment. This was. I appreciate your counterpoints.

[Brandon]

Yeah. And it's. It's nothing against Chelsea.

[Lyle]

Like, I don't think it is.

[Brandon]

Things work out for her. And even if they don't, I mean, there's always time. There's what, 8 billion people on the earth? There's. There's plenty of time people. So you just gotta find what's good.

[Lyle]

For you, you know, I don't like the whole there's 8 billion people on earth thing, because, I mean, some of them are children. So that, that, you know, hopefully that hopefully there. That takes them out. Hopefully they're not on the.

[Brandon]

That's definitely not what I meant by that.

[Lyle]

So there's that and then several other billion of them only speak Chinese, which is fine. Which is fine if you speak Chinese, but it probably difficult if you don't, so. And then another few billion of them Only speak what, a Spanish maybe. And if you. Only if you don't speak Spanish, that you're fucked on that. So this. I don't think there's really a. There's not a brilliant. You don't have April. And then. And then also a lot of those billion people are just way hotter than you and don't. They would never consider being with you. So you got it. So I'm gonna say there's probably. And then also a lot of whole. I'm not done. Also a lot of them live in places that you'll net. Some of them. Some of those 8 billion people live in Macedonia. So I think the saying should really be that also a lot of them are men with or women, which I don't know if you're gay or straight or whatever, but if you're not, that wipes out 4 billion people. So I. You probably. There's at least. I think the more realistic way of saying that is there's probably at least four or five other people who are willing to go on a date with you over the next two years. Maybe more than that. If you're, you know, if you. If you get ripped.

[Brandon]

Yeah, there's. There's definitely variables. I agree with you on that.

[Lyle]

Yeah. But. What's your name again?

[Brandon]

Brandon.

[Lyle]

Brandon. I appreciate you, Brandon. Is there anything else you want to say to the people, the computer before we go?

[Brandon]

No, sir. Just. I hope you all get the help that you need from Therapy Gecko and I hope Therapy Gecko is doing good himself.

[Lyle]

I'm trying my best, man. I appreciate you asking. I'll see you around the universe.

[Brandon]

All right, bye.

[Lyle]

That was Brandon. Eight billion people on the earth. I don't know, there's probably more than that now, but again, it's like how many. I think there's websites that you can go to where you can put in, like what you looking for in a partner. And it narrows it down. It's way. It's so much less than 8 billion, you know, anyway, I just, you know, I'm saying all this stuff to, you know, make all you guys feel more optimistic. Hey, folks. The finals of TikTok's newest music competition. Next up, live music is finally going down. 12 aspiring musicians will gather to give the biggest performance of their career and lay their souls bare on the stage. It will be the biggest night in live music. And they've got a true powerhouse of judges on the panel, including Tom Pullman, chief programming officer at iHeartRadio, Beata Murphy, program director of 102.7 Kiss FM, Justina Valentine from MTV's Wild N Out and viral guitarist John Dreddo. The judges will crown the next up live Music winner. But get this, there's a democratic process where you have the power to put in your vote and decide who takes home the People's Choice Award. So don't miss a second and watch it all unfold live on TikTok on September 26th from 7 to 9pm Pacific Time only on the official TikTok handle. Ictocliveus. Again, that's ictoclive us together. Let's witness the birth of the next music superstar.

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[Lyle]

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[Angie]

Hi Lyle.

[Lyle]

Yes, hi. Who, who to whom am I speaking?

[Angie]

Hi, this is Angie.

[Lyle]

Angie, what's up Angie? How's life going?

[Angie]

Yes, life is fabulous. I am currently in New York City with a few co workers working at music festival this weekend. And just kind of try not to let my social anxiety get in the way of a great opportunity because I'm kind of like sitting at tables with directors and managers and supervisors which is the first time I've gotten to sit with them and talk to them and get one on one time with them. So I'm really just trying to put myself out there. But I flew in today, I left this morning at about 6am and now I'm here. I had some pizza. It was really good. This is my first time in New York City as well. And we were walking to this rooftop bar and a shit ton of rats just came and ran across us. It scared the shit out of me.

[Lyle]

Yeah, there's a lot of rats. There's a lot of rats here.

[Angie]

I was like, what the hell. I was in, I came from Phoenix and obviously I don't just see rats scurrying around anywhere. So it was pretty crazy. I definitely yelped and clenched onto somebody next to me because that was a whole new experience for me because it was not only one, it was like seven of them.

[Lyle]

So what's this music festival happening this weekend?

[Angie]

So it's John Summits Music Festival. It's called Experts Only. It's going to be at Randall's Island. I have yet to look at the site yet. I'm gonna go there tomorrow morning and get everything set up and kind of get my areas set up as well and view the site and stuff. So that's pretty, pretty exciting. I work for, I do festivals in Phoenix, Arizona and they're doing this event as well in New York. So they asked me to join and it's my first time traveling with work for this. So I was ecstatic. I was so like super excited, super happy. I'm trying to make my way in the industry and kind of dabbling in different areas and things to figure out what exactly I want to do and, and network. But I'm just, I know the industry is a lot of networking and, and talking to people, but that's not my forte. I really have to just like, okay, just say something like talk about something, bring something up or Instead of just, like, wasting, you know, an opportunity that I have with the site ops directors and the directors of the festival and marketing directors so I can, you know, so they at least know who I am. But I just have, I guess, social anxiety. Anyway, so I think I was really just overthinking this trip the entire time up until I was leaving with it. But now I'm here and I'm really just trying to, you know, make conversation. And I kind of, like, go back to you when you do, like, your email GS and you're like, all right, I'm just going to sit here and, and challenge myself and just continuously, like, talk and talk and talk for the next 60 minutes or whatever you do on your emails. So I've been doing my best and just, you know, trying to stay out of my head of trying to be like, overthinking everything, like, oh, did I say something stupid? Did I not say something correctly or. Because I always overthink it. And I come back to it fucking at 2 o' clock in the morning. I'm like, God damn it. I didn't say X, Y and Z, or I should have said X, Y and Z. And it didn't happen the way I thought it should happen. So just trying to put myself out there. And, you know, I've been with the company for three years, and I feel really honored and really blessed that my manager thought about me and decided to send me here. And now I'm here. So just we're at this rooftop bar, which is really cool. We walked through a semi sketchy neighborhood, but I think that's a part of it. And now we're at this cool rooftop bar.

[Lyle]

You're at the rooftop bar right now?

[Angie]

I came downstairs. I was upstairs.

[Lyle]

Okay. Okay.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Then I'll, then I'll. I will, I will. I will make our conversation brief so that you may continue to, to network. I'll say this, I'll say this. I. Well, good on you. Because a lot of people there, they just won't even fucking try to overcome their anxiety and doing things. But you're in a, you're in a cool spot. I appreciate you because you're, you know, going after it anyway.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

And also, by the way, you know, you're good. You're totally gonna say stupid things that don't make sense. That's like an inherent thing. And I do this. I, I lately, I'm, I'm on a big kick of, you know, oh, what if I said something that was stupid? Yeah, maybe I did. Maybe I'M insane. You know what? That's how, that's how I go into it now. That's what we do. You know, if I, if I say if I was weird, if I was. I don't know why, why did. Why do I have to be perfect? Maybe I'm a little insane and maybe that's fine if I'm not. If I'm not fucking perfect, you know? So, I mean, you try your best to throw yourself out there and communicate with other human beings, but it's never. I have those interactions all the time where I'm like, that was a little weird. But, you know, here's the look, I'm gonna get existential for a second and I know, but it applies to all of everything, you know, nobody. You don't really. Colloquially, you, not you specifically, but colloquially, you don't matter that much to people, which is good.

[Angie]

Right?

[Lyle]

It's good. So nobody. Even if the thing that you think people are like, oh, that was a little weird, they're not. They don't even care. You know, Unless if you're being a dick, that's the only thing is you can be like, you can be kind of awkward. You can be a. You can't. You can be a little annoying. You be kind of awkward. And as long as you're not, like an asshole, no one really cares. That's why I hate television and movies. I know it's such a broad thing to hate, and this is a stupid thing to say, but I hate. We. You know what it is? We've watched. I'm going to. This is such an old man rant. We've watched so many movies and TV shows where everything that everyone says makes sense. That's why I like doing this podcast is. Sometimes it's awkward. Sometimes we talk over each other or someone calls and it's a little awkward, or I'm a little awkward. I'm saying things that don't make sense and it's. That's good. I think there should be more. We've, We've, We've modeled our ideas of what a conversation should be like over, like this kind of perfected version of it instead of just accepting that we live in a stupid, weird world. So, you know, all this to say you're, you're, you're fine. You're. You're going after it. You know, you, you don't have, you don't have to be. You don't have to make a hundred percent success, not success sense. You don't have to make 100% sense, as long as you're just existing positively, you know, that's what most people I think care about is, you know, you're, you're, you're easy, you know, you're easy to be around. You're excited, excited to be alive. You're not a dick or a bummer. So whatever you say something that doesn't make sense or a joke, that is stupid, you know, who cares? Who gives a shit?

[Angie]

So, yeah, and I'm just trying to put myself, you know, there for so just so that, you know, the company knows that I value, you know, being a part in the music industry. And it's something I'm passionate about and it's something I really want to branch out to. So I'm just like trying to just make conversation and like, you know, ask about how they got there or like internships or just talking about the day or like shooting the shit so that, you know that I'm there as not only a colleague and you know, but as a friend as well. And so I'm trying, I'm. You're right. I just have to, you know, just go in it positively and, and I think that's what I've been doing and I'm like, I've shown that, that I'm super excited to be here and I'm really enthusiastic about being here too because I mean, what the fuck? They sent me to New York, you know, like, that's crazy. I've never been here and it's my first time like flying out.

[Lyle]

What do you. Have you spent much time outside of Phoenix?

[Angie]

Yeah, I've gone to like Mexico. I've gone to like different states and stuff. I think the biggest city I've been to is Chicago. But I mean, I've never been to New York, so it's also a cool experience for me. And in my downtime, I'm hoping I can still check out Central Park. So I'm going to do my first subway experience, which is going to be cool. I had some pizza, walking down the street, saw some rats. Now I'm at a rooftop bar with my amazing, beautiful, lovely co workers that I get to hang out for, with for the week. It is really nice and I really.

[Lyle]

Just go, sorry, go ahead, go ahead.

[Angie]

And I'm really just trying to remember that and, and you know, be blessed for where I'm at and not let my stupid social anxiety or, you know, my weird awkwardness that I think that I have doesn't get in the way because like you said, it's not that deep you know, like.

[Lyle]

No.

[Angie]

So people aren't gonna perceive it that way. It's just myself that's perceiving it that way. And I think that's what I'm. I'm just working at. So why do you know?

[Lyle]

I. It's. Yeah. The. More. Yeah. You know, it's funny. Things are really about perspective, right? Because. Yeah. New York is now just like. Like riding the subway. I do it every day, you know, But I forgot it's like a thing, you know? Or like a lot of weird shit that you do. You forget it's like a thing, you know.

[Angie]

Right. Cuz you do it so often.

[Lyle]

Well, listen, Angie, I don't want to keep you waiting from. From your friends. I think you should go up and enjoy that. That rooftop bar. But I'm glad that checked in. I'm glad I. You know, remember, you can be. Say whatever you want. No, it. No one cares. I mean, I. That maybe that might be terrible advice, but I. I feel it in my heart.

[Angie]

Right, Exactly. Is there anything I'm trying to do? Just say things?

[Chelsea]

Just.

[Angie]

Just talk, you know? I feel like I have important things to say. Some might not be important, fuck it, but, you know, at least I'm conversating.

[Lyle]

Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

[Angie]

No, that is it. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. And I love you so much.

[Lyle]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Advertisement Voice]

Thank you.

[Lyle]

Thank you. Good luck with. Good luck with John Summit. I heard he's. I heard he's. I heard he makes music.

[Angie]

Yes, he does make music. A lot of bebop music.

[Lyle]

Bye, Angie. Have a good night. Thanks.

[Angie]

Bye. Bye.

[Lyle]

John Summit. Who is. I'm gonna look him up. John Summit. John Summit. Not John Stuart. Look at this guy. This is like a little. This is a little guy. He's a guy. He makes music. He plays the. What does he play? He plays dance music. He was born in Naperville, Illinois. 31 years old. What a life. Isn't that crazy? Isn't that. I don't ever thinking a lot about all the lives you could live. Think about it. One in. How many people have ever been born? Hold on. This is where. This is what we're doing tonight. Hold on. How many. This is how many people have ever been born. Okay. 120 billion human beings are estimated to have been born in all of history. And if. And if you're lucky, you get to be. And if you're the Lucky 1 of 120 billion, you get to be John Summit. Look at this guy. He, we, he performed at Coachella. Look at this guy. Or you could be addicted to methamphetamine. John Summitt might be addicted to methamphetamine. We don't know him that well. You could be, you could live in Waterloo, Iowa and work at a bank. You could be, you could live in, in Venezuela on like a farm. You could just be. You could be an old Venezuelan man. You could be John Summit. You could. There's so many people. There's so many people you can be. Well, not really. You could, you really. You only get to be one. You only get to be one person, but there's so many people that there that are being that one person. It's a lot good for John Summit. I hope, I hope he has. I hope he has sex today. Thank you for calling, Angie. Hey folks. The finals of TikTok's newest music competition. Next up, live music is finally going down. 12 aspiring musicians will gather to give the biggest performance of their career and lay their souls bare on the stage. It will be the biggest night in live music. And they've got a true powerhouse of judges on the panel, including Tom Pullman, chief programming officer at iHeartRadio, Beata Murphy, program director of 102.7 Kiss FM, Justina Valentine from MTV's Wild N Out, and viral guitarist John Dreddo. The judges will crown the next up live music winner. But get this, there's a democratic process where you have the power to put in your vote and decide who takes home the People's Choice Award. So don't miss a second and watch it all unfold live on TikTok on September 26th from 7 to 9pm Pacific Time only on the official TikTok handle at TikTokliveus. Again, that's @tiktokliveus. Together, let's witness the birth of the next music superstar. Stop settling for weak sound. It's time to level up your game.

[Advertisement Voice]

And bring the boom.

[Lyle]

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[Lyle]

Hello.

[Kevin]

Hi.

[Lyle]

How's it going?

[Kevin]

You know better now that I'm talking to you. Actually, I. I really can't believe I'm on the phone with you right now. I was not expecting this.

[Lyle]

Have we ever spoken before?

[Kevin]

No. No, we have not.

[Lyle]

Sweet. Kick ass. What's your name, man?

[Kevin]

Well, my name isn't Kevin, but let's. We'll go with Kevin.

[Lyle]

Okay. Kevin, you sent me a text. You said I have little faith in your advice on making friends and finding community, even though you're probably right. So I want to do a. So I want to take this message you sent me and I want to do a few things. One is I want to get an idea of because I say a lot of things and then I forget what they are because I'm. Because I have dementia. And so first what? First tell me what your understanding of my advice on how to make friends is and then tell me why you have a little faith in it. And. Okay, I'm not saying. And I want. And and I want you to be honest with me. I don't want this is. I, I, if you think I, I want you to know something. For if you think you'll offend me, I, I, I mean this with my soul is if you think you'll offend me by disagreeing with me, you'll offend me so much more by lying to me about your true feelings about what I said. So, so I would never.

[Kevin]

I would never lie to you.

[Lyle]

Okay. I mean, I'm. You know what? I'm choosing. I'm trusting you that you won't. I'm trusting you that you won't. So tell me why you have little faith in this.

[Kevin]

Well, it might be hard for me to describe. It's more of just a gut feeling, but I guess I'll start with what my impression of your advice on the topic is, which is, you know, it seems like I've heard you express this multiple times to different people, but you usually say something along the lines of, like, just going out there and, you know, finding a group that is centered around, like, a hobby or interest you have and inserting yourself in it and continuously going to it, even if it's awkward and weird the first few times, and if there isn't a group like that, then creating it yourself. And, you know, that sounds like it would probably work, but, you know, I've been trying that myself. Granted, it hasn't been very long, but I just. It just really feels like it's not going to go anywhere. And I just started university and I really don't have any friends, or I do, but not where I'm living. And I feel very lonely very frequently. And, you know, I've tried going to multiple clubs because, you know, university is a great place to join these types of groups you're talking about, but it's. I don't know, it's so hard to talk to people even when you're at these clubs. And I always just go home from them, walking by myself, as always, and just feeling like I didn't make any real connections.

[Lyle]

Okay. How old are you? 19.

[Kevin]

I'm 18.

[Lyle]

You're 18. Okay. All right. I have a lot of questions. Did you have friends when you were in high school?

[Kevin]

I did. I had very good friends. I'm still friends with them.

[Lyle]

Oh, great, buddy. Sorry, I have more questions. I have more questions for you before I. I have more questions for you. But, brother, it's September. As I'm recording this, it is September 18th.

[Kevin]

I know.

[Lyle]

Which means. Which me. Which means that you have been at school for less than a month, correct?

[Kevin]

Yes. No, I, I Know.

[Lyle]

Okay, okay. Let me tell you. I have more questions for you. But let me tell you something. I went to almost. How old am I? What year is it? What. Where do I live? September of 2016, I started going to college at Temple University in Philadelphia. I've probably talked about this a lot before, but I'll do it again. And. God, I hated it. I hated those first. Hated that first year. I had a lot. I struggled a lot that first year. Feeling weird. Fucking. I didn't connect with any of these fucking people that I was trying to connect with. I tried to join a. I tried to join a frat. I remember being at a frat party once and, like, trying to get a bartender's attention and just like standing there with a cup at this frat party, being like, this is what. Just feeling horrible. Just feeling like I didn't matter. And I was. I'm in this thing that nobody gives a shit that I'm there. And I'm just. I just don't. I have no identity. And I walked home from. I walked home that night alone. Very sad. And then I tried to meet people in my dorm and I felt like I didn't give a fuck about any of those people or that those people kind of had their groups figured out and I didn't. And then I started playing Super Smash Brothers Melee and I made a few friends there. But it. What. It didn't really pan out and I hate it. I just wanted to drop out of college and like, go like, be a filmmaker or some shit. I just didn't have any semblance of self. I felt. I felt. I felt sincerely unaligned.

[Kevin]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

And then I started doing. And I had been doing stand up comedy when I was in high school and I. And I stopped doing it as much. But then I started doing it again and I started hosting this comedy club in my basement. And then once I started doing that. Sophomore year. Second half of sophomore year. Yeah, sophomore year. So it was about a year. Took about a year. I mean, that. And that. That changed everything. And then I started. I really, really feel like I found a place where I belonged. So it. So I have more questions for you. But I just wanted to get. Throw that out there. That was my college experience. It sucked. I hated. I was miserable. Yeah. And I. It takes a while. It's. It's not. It takes a long time. So where have you been going? What have you been doing? I.

[Kevin]

So I play guitar. I found the music club that hosts weekly jam sessions. So I've been to that there's like, not 30. I don't know. There was, like, 10 other people playing guitar that showed up. So we're all, like, playing over each other, and it just. It doesn't sound good at all, which isn't really why I went. So I guess kind of irrelevant. But, you know, obviously I spoke to a few people and, you know, was cordial and stuff, but, you know, I don't know. I mean, you're.

[Lyle]

How many. How many. How many. How many times do you go. How many times did you go to this guitar jam session? If you say. If you say that was the only time you went. Well, I haven't. Was that the only time you went?

[Kevin]

I. I've been once. Yeah. I'm sorry. I've been. Okay.

[Lyle]

No, no, no, you don't have to do. No, no, it's not. No, it's not embarrassing. It's not embarrassing. It's just. It's. Or maybe it's a little embarrassing, but it's. Who gives a. Okay, go. Keep going. I want to hear more about your endeavors.

[Kevin]

Okay, Yeah, I intend to keep going to that. The other thing I've been to is a club, I guess, about telescopes. It's like Astrophotography and Visual Astronomy club. So I went to one of those. It was just basically a guy with one big telescope and a bunch of people standing around and just kind of talking about Saturn and, you know, everyone took a turn looking and. Yeah, I just. I didn't speak to many people at that either. I just find it so hard to start conversations or. I don't know.

[Lyle]

But how often does the telescope man bring his telescope?

[Kevin]

Honestly, I don't know. Maybe once a week.

[Lyle]

Okay, okay, okay. What else?

[Kevin]

Well, those are the only clubs I. I've been to. Other than that. I mean, I've interacted with my roommate, obviously. I've interacted with a couple people on my floor. You know, I've spent time with them. I've gone out with them on the weekend. But again, I mean, you know, I don't have, like, zero faith that I'm gonna. You know, I don't. I don't think I'm always gonna be, like, alone, and I'm never gonna make friends. Like you said, it took a year for yourself. But part of the reason I feel like I'm going to really struggle with this for a long time is because although I had really good friends in high school and still have them as my friends, I didn't really make them. They kind of made me. I sort of was Adopted. I joined. I started high school with zero friends because I don't really know how to make friends. And a kid who remembered me from elementary school sort of almost made it his job to make himself and his friends my friend. And you know, and then we did become very good friends, but that wasn't really my doing. I was just kind of lucky enough for that to happen to me.

[Lyle]

Yeah, but.

[Kevin]

And I never made any other friends, but you know.

[Lyle]

You know? Yes. Oh my God. What's your name again? Kevin. Kevin. Yes. Kevin. You got very. You know what? This is fun. I like having this conversation. You. Yes, yes. You got lucky. You did. That's what happens. That's the only way you successfully do anything. It's the only way that you, I think, find a relationship or start something or have like a thing that you start pop off or make friends is you get lucky. But one of the best ways to get lucky, and I do believe in, and I'm not gonna be a bullshitter here because I do believe in inherent, blind, true, honest to God luck. I do believe in that. But also the more that you luck finds you, the more you put yourself in situations for it to find you.

[Kevin]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

And it's a motherfucking grind. It's hard. You're also dealing with the throes of loneliness and there are actively eating your brain and soul and your self esteem. And I know guys, I know what this feels like. So they're corroding you from, with, you know. I don't know if that, I don't know if that's how you feel, but you know.

[Kevin]

Yeah, I feel extremely corroded.

[Lyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you feel corroded. But you, you have to keep trying and you have to believe.

[Kevin]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Because you only went once to these fucking things. I mean, I'm, I'm part. I'll tell you more. I'm. You know, the thing I told you about with the thing in my college is just one exit. I have so many examples of that from my life now that I'm even thinking about it. I remember when I was 16, I started doing stand up and I went to like, I would go to these bars and I would just. I felt so uncomfortable. I wouldn't talk to anyone because I was like 16, all these guys were like 20, whatever. And I just kept going. I just kept going. Eventually you see the same people and you know, I this, I have a nice community now at this co working space that I edit my videos at. It's nice. And the first I gen. I remember Showing up. They were having this thing that they do where everyone like presents the stuff that they're working on. I remember the first time I showed up to that and I, when I showed up, kind of observing this culture that already existed without me, you know, and, and. And I'm just witnessing it and I'm seeing it and I'm. And I. This is the first time and I thought I was like, man, I want to kill myself. Like a, like, I just felt bad. I know, you know, I felt bad. But I kept going and I kept talking to people and now I show up there. I feel so comfortable. I feel great. I know people there. I feel great being there because I didn't. Because I let myself just keep going. And I even said this as part of my spiel on it is that you. Is that it's part of the process to be sitting there while there's an. While while you're observing this pre existing culture that doesn't need you and doesn't care about you. And because you just. Because you just showed up and that's, that's. That's supposed to feel bad. It's supposed to feel bad and corrosive. So when, so when you show up to Guitar place for the first time where you go to chess club and everyone has their jokes, everyone has their things and like the first day, it's supposed to feel. If you do that and it feels bad that it's normal, you know, the way I don't know where people are getting this idea that you're supposed to. Everything's supposed to be amazing off the bat. Sometimes you fucking get lucky and everything's amazing off the bat, the bat. You know, I'm doing this video right now about the gathering of the Juggalos. And that's a place, that's a place where a lot of people show up and they're welcomed off the bat and they just feel. Sometimes that happens if you're lucky. Sometimes that happens. If you're lucky, you show up and you assimilate into the culture immediately and the arms are wide open. And sometimes that happens. And you know what? You know what? You know how you get lucky into that happening is showing up to a bunch of different places. But even. But if you don't find a place where the arms are open immediately, you still have to keep showing up like, like five times. And not only show up five times, but also like be like, hey everyone, like, what guitar was a guitar club? What was the other one?

[Kevin]

Telescope.

[Lyle]

Telescope. You got also organize, organize the things because you're, you're also not the only person that feels this way. So organize the thing because you have to find it. You have to provide value to the community in some way, right? Like fucking. If everyone like crap. Okay, now I have telescope one and I forget the other one. I don't know why. My brain. Yeah, hold on. So wait, this is. I'm embarrassed, right? Let me. Can we pause for one second? Hold on. Telescope Club and Guitar Club. Telescope Club and Guitar Club. Go to, Go to a fucking local bar and be like, hey, we're going to book. We're going to put on a show for the guitar club, whatever, Anything you can do to, to, to, to contribute to be a part of the culture. You can't show up. You can't show up and expect to become part of. Part of the culture immediately. And you can't show up and expect to be part of the culture without contributing to it in some way, shape or form. But I swear on my life, if you, if you show up consistently and you creatively contribute to the culture, you're there. You're just fucking there. And it's. The people that get fucked are the ones that don't allow themselves to go past the initial discomfort that you feel when you're in a place that you just know doesn't give a shit about you. But, but you go, but, but be. But there's some. So much lies beyond that and you're. You feel corroded because you had high expectations and you wanted everything immediately because that was for, for whatever reason the way that you felt things were supposed to go. And it didn't go that way. But that's. But it's not supposed to. It's fucking not supposed to go that way. You're supposed to feel everything that you're feeling is normal feeling that you're supposed to feel. Just keep going. But just keep. So keep going, you know, it's been a month. It's been a fucking month, man. It's been a month. You're 18 years old and it's been a month.

[Kevin]

Don't get, don't, don't yell at me, okay? No, but you know, it's funny because the friends that I made in high school, actually, when I first started hanging out with them, you know, they were already friends with each other and I wasn't friends with them. And actually it was a similar thing where, yeah, the first few times I hung out with them, it was weird for me and it did take a while. But, yeah, now they're. You Know my best friends, so I. I do think you're right. Yeah, I understand. I'm very young and insecure and all that, but. Yeah, I don't know. There was a caller who, if you remember, I don't know, recently, who talked about also feeling alone on a university campus, and he would talk about always seeing other people in groups and him always being by himself. And I related to that. And then I've noticed, and I think he did as well, that if you look around, there really are a lot of other people walking around by themselves as well. But surprisingly, I thought that realization would bring me solace. But, you know, the fact that other people are suffering doesn't really make me feel better about my suffering.

[Lyle]

Yeah, it's not. I don't. I don't. I don't like that. I. Well, I don't like that for. I don't like looking at. Here's what I don't like. I don't like looking at. Oh, everyone's probably having fun. Or. And I also don't like looking at. Not everyone's having fun, because both. It. It's detracting still from yourself. You know what I mean? This is about you. It's not about anyone else. So. So who cares who's having fun and who's not? It's not. It's not even a relevant thing to your plan of action, you know?

[Kevin]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

So I was just. Put your. Put your. Put your blinders on, you know?

[Kevin]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Entrepreneurial about it. Bring up. Bring up pie to. To the. What Crap. And I forgot both of them. Guitar class and.

[Kevin]

Yeah, well, I do bake, so, you know.

[Lyle]

You bake?

[Kevin]

I do.

[Lyle]

You do so much. Dude, you'll be fine. Just keep. Yeah. Going. I know. That's. Yeah. So. Shit. Why am I. Why don't I know anything anymore? This all makes perfect sense to me. I think. I think I did a good job of this phone call. I think I'm good at doing this podcast.

[Kevin]

I think so, too, because otherwise I wouldn't listen to it.

[Lyle]

Kevin.

[Kevin]

Yep.

[Lyle]

Oh, my God. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Yes. Yes. Yes, yes. Yeah. Just. Yeah. Every. This is all. This is all part of the plan. Please call me in a year. I'm dead serious. I'm a hundred percent. So call me. Email me in a year. Email me in a year when you're night. When you're 19, if you email me any. I'll tell you. I'll tell you what. If you email me in a year and you're like, I went to 10 different events and I went to each of them six times. I tried talking to a bunch of people there, and I. I did. I did X, Y, and Z to contribute to the community, and I'm. I still feel horrible. Then. Then I'll eat my own diarrhea. I really will. I will eat.

[Kevin]

Well, you don't have to do that.

[Lyle]

No, no, no, no, no. I. You're not. This isn't. I'm not asking you for permission for this. I'm just telling you what I'm going to do if you send me that message.

[Brandon]

Well, I guess I can't let that.

[Kevin]

Happen then, because I don't want to see you do that.

[Lyle]

Yeah, no, it's not about whether. It's just. It's not. If that. If that hap. If that. If you send me. If you send me that. No, it's not selfish at all. It's nothing. If you send me that message and you. And it's not like a troll, like. Yeah, it's actually what you did. I. I'll. I'll diarrhea a little bit into a Dixie cup and I'll eat it. I really will. 100. I'm 100% serious, so.

[Kevin]

Okay.

[Lyle]

Do all. Do all those things. I will. I will.

[Kevin]

I'm not giving up yet. I just. You know, I think. You know, I don't know.

[Lyle]

Kevin, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

[Kevin]

You know, I think the lower class needs to unite, not to get political, but the left and right divide needs to change into the upper and lower divide.

[Lyle]

Kevin, this is like an entirely new conversation, but I hope. Call me back, and I'm dead serious. Call me back or send me an email therapygeckomailmail.com In a year and tell me. Tell me if this worked.

[Kevin]

Okay, I will.

[Lyle]

Okay. Okay. Good luck, Kevin. I. I'm. I'm rooting for you.

[Kevin]

Thank you. That means a lot.

[Lyle]

Have a good night, ma'. Am.

[Kevin]

You, too.

[Lyle]

I'll do it. I will eat a Dixie cup of diarrhea if he sends me. And I'm gonna. And I need a photo idea that it's Kevin or that it's not, because someone's gonna now just message me in a year, being like that. I'm Kevin, and I won't. And I. But I'm not gonna know if I'll believe it. Friendship. Yeah. I don't. Yeah. It's supposed to feel a little weird for the first bit, but you move. You move past it, and you. You show up with something you gotta show up with something, you know, provide something, be a part of the thing. It's. It's straightforward. It's a relatively. It's kind of a. You know what it is? It's like. It's like all things in life where the process is relatively straightforward. Yeah. But it's just time consuming. It's like working out. It's like going to the gym and expecting to be ripped after, like, two days, which I do. Oh, man. Thanks for listening to this podcast. I'm Lyle. I'm a gecko. Do I have anything else to say? Thanks for everyone. Thank you guys for all of the awesome comments that you left on the last episode. Last Wednesday's episode with Steve. Steve's a fucking homie. Yeah, he. We talked for a little bit of our email. He said he got some emails. That was crazy. That was the best episode. That might be that. You know what? Contender for best episode of the podcast. I laughed. I cried. It was a good time. I appreciate this. I like this. This load of. This community of people listening to this show. I'm grateful for it. I'm honored by it. I feel less insane than I did about two hours ago. So this was good for me, too. This was therapeutic. This was a good Thursday night spent in a dark room talking to strangers on my computer. I won't regret this when I'm old and decrepit. Okay, thank you all. Please show other people this podcast. Like it, subscribe it, pee on it. Just rate 5 stars. I've been drinking so much Fresca. The podcast is over. Please, if you're. Please, please, please don't keep listening unless you want to hear me say random bullshit until I've realized that I've spoken too much. But this is not con. Officially consider this not part of the podcast, even though it's gonna go in. Officially consider this. Not when you're evaluating the quality of this podcast. Please officially consider this not part of the listening experience. Because I'm just gonna spend the next. I'm gonna spend until I get bored talking about how much I love Fresca. That's so awesome. It's great. It's grapefruit soda water. Who owns. Is it Coca Cola? It's Coca Cola. Fucking shit. I didn't know that. I didn't know Coca Cola owned Fresco. Yeah, it was bottled in Atlanta. What are the ingredients? Carbonated water, Citric acid. This. This is not. You can leave. You can go. It's over. Don't. Don't. If I see a fucking itunes review that Says like he rambled about Fresca. I'm you then you didn't then. That's just a person who didn't listen to the instructions. It's all going in the podcast. But it's not. This is not officially anything. All right. Concentrated grapefruit juice, potassium citrate. You can move on to the next episode. Aspartame. Everyone's been talking about aspartame. I'm googling this. Is aspartame actually that bad for you? Aspartame. Aspartame is a low calorie artificial sweetener which is 200 times sweeter than sugar. What the fuck? Okay. Scientific evidence has continued to support the FDA's conclusion that Ospartame is safe for the general population when made under good manufacturing practices and used under the improved conditions of use. Studies suggest a link between long term aspartame combined consumption and increased abdominal fat. That's so fucking. That's fucking such bullshit. Why can't anything be easy? Aspartame, potassium sorbates, acacia gum. I drink like three of these a day. I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm like, I'll wake up in the middle of the night. My body wants water and I. I give it Fresca. I love Fresca so much. There's no caffeine in it. It's a caffeine free product. What else? Anything else? Please, please stop listening to this. Please. The episode's over. Please stop listening. The episode's over. There's no more. There's no more. This is not part of the thing. Is there anything else? Do I have any secrets I want to share? I know. I don't want. I don't really want to. I'm putting out. What day is today's today? Wednesday. Oh, yeah, go on. Today's the. I'm releasing this episode. Wait, no, I don't know when I'm releasing this episode. It's either gonna be on a Sunday or a Wednesday. Like all the episodes are released. You can stop. I'm done. There's no more content. It's just this. You can move on. There's nothing at the end of this. If I go onto my Spotify analytics and I don't see a strong drop off around this part, I'll actually be upset that people are still listening to this. There should be. There objectively should be a strong audience drop off. Analytically. About 5 minutes ago, it should be like a 90 drop off. I could. I'm gonna look at the analytics and if it's not, and if people are listening to this, I'm gonna be pissed off. What's in this bottle of water? Besides water? What is. The ingredients are. There's minerals. Okay. The ingredients. Purified water. This is a Kirkland water bottle. Purified water. Potassium bicarbonate, sodium bicarbonate, calcium citrate. Why not just fucking water? Why do you need all the other stuff? What are you guys gonna do tonight? What's everyone on? What are you. What's. What's everyone doing tonight? The podcast is over. There's no more podcasts of this. What's everyone gonna do tonight? This is too long. I'm gonna. I'm gonna go. Where else am I gonna go? What am I gonna do? I'm gonna. All right, I'm gonna go. I gotta leave. Or I could stay. I'm gonna go. Okay. Thanks for listening to the Therapy Gecko podcast with, with. With Wicker Baskets. My name is Lyle and I am putting this on the Internet. Okay. Thank you. See you.

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[Lyle]

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[Lyle]

Reasonable Doubt, Season 3, now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

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[Lyle]

This is an I Heart Pod.