“I WILL NEVER LOVE AGAIN”

Summary

Therapy Gecko: “I WILL NEVER LOVE AGAIN” Release Date: December 8, 2024

Overview In the episode “I WILL NEVER LOVE AGAIN” of Therapy Gecko, hosted by Tamara Judge from iHeartPodcasts, listeners are taken on an intimate journey through the emotional landscapes of two young callers, Jacob and Walker. The episode delves deep into themes of first love, emotional resilience, and the struggles of finding one’s path in life. Through candid conversations, Tamara offers a compassionate ear while navigating the complexities of mental health and personal growth.

---

Section 1: Introduction and First Caller – Jacob’s Heartfelt Confession

Timestamp: 02:19 – 09:14

Jacob’s Story of First Love

Jacob, a 19-year-old from London with Russian roots, shares a poignant narrative about his first love and his firm belief that he will never experience love as intensely again. He explains:

“I’m completely serious about that. The most important thing is that I’m fine with that. Like, I’m not... I don’t feel bad about it. I’m okay with that.”
[03:05]

Despite his young age, Jacob exhibits remarkable self-awareness, acknowledging his potential delusions and the possibility of personal growth. He recounts his relationship with a friend from his punk rock days in Greece, emphasizing the deep emotional connection he feels:

“He’s the calmest, kindest, most genuine and honest person I’ve ever met... I will forever love him more than anybody else.”
[06:53]

Exploring Emotional Resilience

Tamara engages Jacob with thoughtful questions, probing the foundations of his unwavering commitment to his first love. Jacob articulates that while he believes he will encounter others, none will match the profound bond he shares with this individual:

“I just don’t think that it will ever pass... I will forever have a part of my heart given to that specific person.”
[09:14]

Tamara’s Reflection

Tamara recognizes Jacob's mature perspective, yet challenges him to consider the evolving nature of love and personal development:

“Everyone around you becomes a different person. So I don’t understand, I guess, why you’re saying, oh, I’m never going to fall in love with anyone.”
[09:14]

Jacob clarifies that while he remains open to loving others, the uniqueness of his first love remains unparalleled in his heart.

---

Section 2: Second Caller – Walker’s Military Journey

Timestamp: 35:05 – 61:44

Introducing Walker’s Experience in the Military

Walker, a recent Army recruit, shares his transformative experience of joining the military at 21. He reflects on his life before the military, highlighting feelings of isolation and the use of edibles to cope:

“I have been trying to slow down for a while, but about a joint a day.”
[30:04]

Challenges in Basic Training

Walker candidly discusses the harsh realities of basic training, dispelling myths that it is not as challenging as perceived:

“Basic doesn't suck. Guaranteed it's gonna suck. You want to get to your unit, it's gonna suck at first... But once you embrace enjoying the suck, it's really not that bad.”
[49:04]

Commitment and Future Aspirations

Committed to a six-year term, Walker shares his aspirations to become a pilot, leveraging military benefits to fund his education:

“My goal is to like get the military pay for my school. Like, that’s the main thing most people join for.”
[50:56]

Navigating Military Discipline and Personal Growth

Tamara probes into Walker’s motivations and experiences, exploring his adaptation to military life and the discipline it enforces. Walker emphasizes the importance of structure and the opportunities the military provides:

“I think people that say they're wasting the youth is because you're preparing yourself for the real role.”
[50:41]

Addressing Mental Health and Relationships

Walker opens up about his strained relationship with his emotionally absent father, delving into how this influences his interactions and relationships within the military:

“He has this... he reminds everyone of my dad... He doesn’t show emotion in general.”
[20:49]

Supporting Each Other

Throughout the conversation, Tamara offers support and encouragement, emphasizing the importance of mental health and personal well-being:

“You should absolutely not be going insane. That your high school boyfriend doesn't like you back. I think that's a good thing...”
[26:12]

Closing Thoughts

As the conversation wraps up, both Tamara and Walker express mutual encouragement, reinforcing the episode's theme of resilience and hope:

“Even though I cursed during this, you know, during this call, I love... I love your show.”
[61:24]

“We both got something to do today.”
[81:10]

---

Section 3: Supporting Insights and Conclusions

Embracing Individual Journeys

Throughout the episode, Tamara underscores the uniqueness of each individual’s journey. She highlights that while Jacob and Walker face their distinct challenges, their stories converge on the importance of self-awareness and personal growth.

Promoting Mental Health Awareness

The episode reinforces the significance of seeking professional help, as seen in Jacob’s mention of therapy and Tamara’s encouragement:

“You should do that shit.”
[72:09]

Final Reflections

Tamara concludes the episode by reflecting on the diverse experiences of her callers, advocating for understanding and compassion in navigating life’s complexities:

“It just goes to show in general that there's a wide range of lives available to people and some are going to be a better fit for others than others.”
[64:17]

---

Notable Quotes

1. Jacob on First Love:

   “I’m completely serious about that. The most important thing is that I’m fine with that.”
   [03:05]

2. Walker on Military Training:

   “Basic doesn't suck. Guaranteed it's gonna suck. You want to get to your unit, it's gonna suck at first... But once you embrace enjoying the suck, it's really not that bad.”
   [49:04]

3. Tamara on Moving Forward:

   “You shouldn’t be going insane. I think you should absolutely not be going insane.”
   [25:25]

4. Tamara on Personal Growth:

   “Everyone around you becomes a different person. So I don’t understand, I guess, why you’re saying, oh, I’m never going to fall in love with anyone.”
   [09:14]

---

Conclusion

“I WILL NEVER LOVE AGAIN” serves as a profound exploration of young individuals grappling with love, self-identity, and life’s direction. Through heartfelt dialogues, Tamara Judge fosters a space of empathy and understanding, encouraging listeners to reflect on their own experiences and the myriad paths one can take towards emotional well-being and personal fulfillment.

For those seeking relatable stories and genuine conversations about life’s challenges, this episode of Therapy Gecko offers insightful perspectives and a comforting reminder that everyone’s journey is uniquely their own.

Transcript

[Teddy Mellencamp]

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[Tamara Judge]

Yeah.

[Teddy Mellencamp]

Delimix Crispy Quesadillas are crispy. Even from a microwave, I can already smell it. Heads up. If you hate loud crunching, you might want to mute.

[Tamara Judge]

Mmm.

[Teddy Mellencamp]

So crispy. Like, barely hear myself think crispy. These should come with a warning.

[Tamara Judge]

Mmm.

[Teddy Mellencamp]

If this crispiness is making you hungry, get to your closest grocery store. For Deli Mex Crispy Quesadillas in the frozen aisle.

[Tamara Judge]

This is Teddy Mellencamp and Tamara Judge from Two T's in a Pod.

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[Jacob]

No.

[Tamara Judge]

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[Jacob]

Oh, can I say something in advance? I'm so sorry for my accent if it's hard for listeners to understand what I'm saying.

[Tamara Judge]

No, not at all. Where are you calling from?

[Jacob]

I'm calling from London, but I'm originally from Russian, as you can tell. But I live here. I've been living here.

[Tamara Judge]

What? How long have you been living in London for?

[Jacob]

I actually just moved in September, but before that, I've been going to an American international school in Greece for two years. So I've been around Europe, definitely.

[Tamara Judge]

Very nice. Very nice. Why did you. Maybe I know the answer to this question, but why did you leave Russia?

[Jacob]

Oh, yeah, you know the answer to this question. Obviously, it's not good there, and my family is definitely not welcome there because of our political views. But anyways, I wanted to talk about something Else, actually.

[Tamara Judge]

Oh, sure, please.

[Jacob]

Yeah, I was. I wanted to talk about falling in love for the first time because I'm only 19, but I'm pretty sure that I won't ever love anybody else but my first love.

[Tamara Judge]

Go ahead.

[Jacob]

What I wanted to say is that I'm the kind of person who, you know, when I am pretty self aware. So if I'm delusional, I know I am. And I know I'm young, I know I'm wrong about most things, I'm fine with that. And when my parents tell me something like, oh, you're too young, it's all gonna be fine, I believe them. But in this specific case, I don't think I'll ever love anybody else. And I'm. I'm completely serious about that. The most important thing too is that I'm fine with that. Like, I'm not. I don't feel bad about it. I'm okay with that. I just know I'll never love anybody else as much, you know?

[Tamara Judge]

Okay, why tell, why don't you tell me the story? How'd you meet this person? Who are they? What happened?

[Jacob]

Yeah, well, you see, when I was 15, I was really into punk rock. I was really. I had a short, black, mullet like haircut. I'm. Hopefully I pronounced that right. I was really into all of punk music. I had a really big friend group with people who were into the same stuff as I was. And this guy was one year younger than me and we became really good friends and we dated for a little bit. He basically, he stopped liking me in about half a year. But then we moved to Greece together. You see what happened? And in Greece, like I said, I've been there for two years in an American school and we went together. So I knew, I know him for four years and the entire time, basically the story is not that interesting. I'm just deeply, deeply in love with this guy. And it's. I don't really want to talk specifically about the story because as I said, it's not interesting, but I was wondering if anybody else is in love the same way I am, where I don't feel pain about it. Like, I'm not upset that it's not mutual and it isn't mutual. And I'm not upset at the fact that it happened. I. And I'm totally okay with living the rest of my life without this person, but loving them, you know.

[Tamara Judge]

I have a lot of questions, so. Well, what is it. Well, what is it that made you so in love with this person in the first place or actually, what is it that continues to make you in love with this person?

[Jacob]

Well, you know, it's really not as important to have similar interests as having similar views on life. And most people know that if they have some experience in romance and everything. And we basically have all the same, you know, values in life, but we're very different people. So it makes it really interesting to be with him and to talk with him. We agree on the things that do matter, but, like, small stuff, we're completely different people. He's very. He's the calmest, kindest, most genuine and honest person I've ever met. And in the worst times of my life, he would always, you know, save me in a way. And I don't like. It's not the reason I'm in love with him. I just don't think there's anybody. Anybody for me who would just make me so, you know, make me respect them as much, you know.

[Tamara Judge]

So you say. The way you're talking to me about this, you're like, okay, I've did. I'm completely okay. I have resigned. You're not like, coming in here. You're not like, head and hands. Oh, oh, no, boohoo. I'm not gonna fall in love with anyone else. You have calmly, quietly decided you will never find love again. And you're not bummed out about it. Why. Tell me about that feeling. Why do you feel it? Why are you not. Why have you decided that? And then why are you not bummed out about it?

[Jacob]

Yeah, see, that's exactly what I wanted to talk about. Because obviously, when I tell people that, the reaction, the instant reaction is, oh, no, it's gonna be fine. You're gonna. But I'm fine already. I'm fine with that. And what I feel is I'm definitely gonna find someone else. I mean, I'm attracted to other men, not going to lie. But it's just not the same as with that one person. I can't even call him a guy because he's a person in my brain and in my heart. He's something beyond other people to me. Like. And I know, you know, a lot of people tell me that if he really was your soulmate, then it would be mutual. And I understand where they're coming from, but I just. I just don't think. I just don't think that because we met when we were very young, maybe the time and place was wrong. Maybe there was something wrong in my behavior, but I don't really think about that. What I Feel is that it's always in the back of my mind. I'm trying to come back to the main topic because I keep trailing off, but yeah, it's always in the back of my mind. I'm a happy person. I'm first year in university. I met so many new people here in London. It's amazing, it's very fun. But yeah, I don't think it will ever pass. And I haven't been talking to him for half a year now. Not a single word. And I'm fine with that because I'm not even attached to him. You know, I don't have any attachments, not emotional, not anything. I just love this person and I will forever love him more than anybody else.

[Tamara Judge]

I mean, everything you just described is like a. That's a very, that's like a. That's like a very mature way to view your relationships and your like love life. I don't know why, like that's kind of the ideal thing as you, you recognize like when you fall in love with someone and when it doesn't work out, you kind of reckon you can still kind of recognize the, the uniqueness of that individual. And, and yeah, you can say, oh, I don't know if I'll ever meet somebody like them for the rest of my life. Which is probably true when it comes to yeah. Individuals. But yeah. And then, and then just be like, I think it's okay to be like, I love them, I still love them, I have no attachment to them. I moving on with my life. I wish them well, they're moving on with their life. But I still love them. And I carry that love with me as I, in kind of a fucking hippie way, I carry all the love that I've ever had for anyone and anyone's ever had with me throughout my whole life. Blah, blah, blah, yuck, yuck, yuck. But, but what I don't understand is you've come to. This is when you said, I'll never love someone ever again. That makes no sense to me because being like, sure, if you want to be like, I'm not going to meet someone like them ever again and I'm okay with that. But you cannot. But you are going, you're obviously going to throughout your life meet. Especially because you're only 19. You're gonna meet other people who you'll will unlock new things about yourself. You're gonna, you know, develop as a person and you're the kinds of people that you're attracted to, develops and the kinds of people who are attracted to you develops and you become a different person. Everyone around you becomes a different person. So I don't understand, I guess, why you're saying, oh, I'm never going to fall in love with anyone.

[Jacob]

What I meant by that.

[Tamara Judge]

That's the thing that I don't understand.

[Jacob]

Yeah, what I meant by that, it is. I'm sorry, I'm also stuttering because I'm so nervous. But yeah, what I meant by that is it's not going to be the same, which is obviously true. And also, you know, have you seen on TikTok, like, videos of older people who are like, I still think about my first girlfriend or my first boyfriend, and people in the comments are like, I'm so scared. But I don't. I don't understand. Why would you be scared of that? Because, ob. I don't think I will be unhappy in my life. See, like, I think I'll. I will love somebody else, but it won't be ever the same. And I'm not trying to compare love because it's very unhealthy thing to do, but I don't think it will ever be the same. And I also think that I will forever remember him. It doesn't mean I won't be happy, but I will forever have a part of my heart given to that specific person. Even though I will probably meet a lot of different people and I will love again, but it won't be the same. And I'm convinced I will never forget him. Because what people think about. Let me stop for a second. When you are in a new relationship, it's almost like you should forget about your previous ones and, like, fall in love and it's the one and you're. No, the person who was for me is in my past. And why is that not a scenario that people talk about? Why is it always the one for me? We're together. What do you.

[Tamara Judge]

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. What does the one for you mean?

[Jacob]

The person that in my humble opinion is perfect for me, Somebody that will never be replaced by anybody else in any way, shape or form, emotionally, cannot create the same connection as a person nobody can create?

[Tamara Judge]

Well, sure, you know. Yes. You're never going to have the same connection with somebody that you had with somebody else, because those connections are all unique. But the I. This kind of like. Is the word monolithic applicable here? I don't know. I don't know if that means, like, God, but this kind of like, thing of. There is one finite connection for me and it has passed and it's gone and, and I'll have other connections, sure. But the, the one that was really meant for me is in the past that I don't agree with. I, I, Everything else that you've said I think is very explain why a pretty, a pretty mature way to kind of move through your romantic life and a healthy way to do it. But explain why. Well, cuz you have no idea because you're only also, also the, you're going to like you at 19 and you at 30 are going to be two completely different people and the, the, your, your 18 year old boyfriend who was perfect for you at that time is not going to be the same. It's not going to be perfect for you at another time in your life. So that the, that doesn't add up to me. This idea that there was one perfect person for you for all of the time that you will ever be alive and they're gone. That doesn't add up to me. Yeah, but what you said, what you said before where you were like that I really appreciated what that person did for me at the time that they were in my life and I have a deep love for them and I have a deep appreciation for the connection that we shared and blah, blah, blah, yuck, yuck, yuck. That ball made sense.

[Jacob]

Yeah, I know. It's just that, you know, it's when you're so in love, honestly it's. I understand because obviously I hope, I really hope I won't be the same as I am now when I'm 30. But yeah, it's just the thought that I would spend the rest of my life with him, you know, happily. I'm okay with not spending the rest of my life with him, but I would just spend the rest of my life with this one person because you know, we grew up together too and I know that in a healthy relationship you change and grow together and. Because after we broke up.

[Tamara Judge]

Yeah, but I'm sorry to interrupt, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but, but yeah, you're, yeah, but you gonna, you're, you, you, you literally can't see it because you haven't experienced it. But you'll develop and change and meet new people and all this stuff. But I'm not worried about you because you seem like you have a pretty healthy perspective on it.

[Jacob]

Yeah, thank you. Have you ever been in love yourself?

[Tamara Judge]

Yeah, sure, yeah, I've been in love myself and I kind of take a similar approach to it as you do. That's like, oh, you know, I really, really loved this person, and I really was fond of the connection that I shared with them, and I feel really positively about them, and I have. I'm really hopeful for them in their. In their life, but I understand at the same time why things didn't work out. And I have faith that I will, you know, continue to love again.

[Jacob]

Yeah. So do you think you'll ever experience the same. Like, the same, I would say, a feeling as strong as that one ever again? Do you think it will happen?

[Tamara Judge]

Yeah, I have faith that I will find someone that, you know well, because when I think about those feelings, I think about, like, you know, trust and comfortability and connection and all those things, and I'm like, yeah, you know, I'm about to turn 27, but I still have a strong faith that I'll find all those things in my life. I mean, my parents are in there. My parents are divorced, and they both got remarried, and they. Both. The people that they got. Both of their remarriages are going really well. I think they're. Both. The relationships that my parents are in now are way better than the relationship that they had with each other. And both of them. They met their spouses on fucking j. Date in. When they were both in their, like, late 40s or something like that. So it took both of my parents until their late 40s to find the person that they're with now that they're. They're really happy with. And I think. I think about that a lot, and I think that's. That's really nice.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Tamara Judge]

And so I can relate to that. Yeah. And so. And so my dad, I think, started dating his current wife, and my mom started date. Started dating her current husband, I want to say around, like, fucking 49 years old, maybe. So that's about 30 years older than you are, and that's three years longer than I have been alive. So that's kind of the perspective that I have on it.

[Jacob]

Yeah, I. Why I said I can relate to that is that you're. See, I'm not stubborn. You're actually changing my perspective. Maybe just this one talk is what I needed because obviously I can talk about my healthy perspective all I want, but I do have feelings. And I am, like, not going out and seeing other people, other men, specifically, romantically, too much. What I wanted to say is my parents are getting divorced right now because what happened was my mom is 42, and she suddenly, at 42, just fell in love with this one guy from her at her work. And it's like it's. They're so perfect for each other. I've met this. This person and my, my dad is the complete opposite of my mother. She's very. She's a very happy, outgoing, like, active person. And he's like grumpy, horrible, scary Russian man, you know, and. And she just. And she just met this one guy who is, you know, seems perfect for her. Maybe he's not, but she did kind of fall in love with him and you can see her blooming at this age. So maybe you're right. Maybe it's not that. Maybe you can't even. You can't predict anything, I guess.

[Tamara Judge]

Yeah. What. So what's that? What's up with your dad? Is he. Is he like. Are you. Do you have a good relationship with him or is he kind of wild?

[Jacob]

He's not too wild, but he's basically this guy that I felt fell in love with his like a carbon copy emotionally as my dad. And like he has this.

[Tamara Judge]

Wait, wait, wait. The guy, the guy that you. This guy who's. This guy who you are talking about, that you were in love with is a carbon copy of your father?

[Jacob]

Not physically, but I mean, like he reminds everyone of my dad. And everyone has been saying that he's like a little, Little Dmitri, you know, which is weird. A little bit. It weirds me out, but it is true. And my father is very emotionally absent. He's an. I don't know. I hope. I'm not saying he lost his parents when he was a child, so he's obviously very emotionally damaged. But he's one of those people who say, ah, let me put on a really, really hard rush. Therapy is not true. It doesn't help. Or like, I have to go to work and then it will be okay. This is what he says all the time. And basically, yeah, I don't really have a good relationship with him. I would say I don't have a relationship with him at all because there's just nothing there emotionally, obviously. He sent me to London. I'm very grateful. He gave me a lot of money, but money doesn't buy emotional bonds, I guess. And he's the same way with my mother and everybody else because obviously he had a really rough childhood. And I don't blame him. I love him still, but I guess I don't really have a healthy relationship with him.

[Tamara Judge]

I'm going to play utter armchair therapist, which I guess is kind of my job. Yeah, you should. This is, by the way, something to talk to a real therapist about. But like ju. Anecdotally, as a. As a outside observer, as. Or just a random guy. Not a real therapist, not a real psychologist. But.

[Jacob]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tamara Judge]

Are you, like. Do you. Are you, like, looking like. Are you trying to, like, get what you couldn't get from your dad, from this guy because he reminds you of your dad?

[Jacob]

Well, it. You know, it's very. In a way. In a way, yes. But what I think of it myself, because obviously I've thought about that. Just so you know, I am. I was in therapy, and, like, I know a thing or two, so it's fine. There's nothing wrong you can say to me. But. Yeah, because, you know, I couldn't ever get my dad to have something emotional with me, like, to. He doesn't show emotion in general, and he's never. It's very funny. Me and my sister are always, like, we, you know, sitting there together, like, have. Have our dad ever hugged us? And she's like, no. Have he ever told you he loved you? I'm like, no, but. Yeah, but he clearly does. He just doesn't say that. And I guess when a person is similar to my dad, like this guy, and he shows some emotion, it's. It's almost like. I don't know, it's weird. Oh, I'm sorry for the sound. Let me close the window. But, yeah, there is some connection, I guess. But it weirds me out to think about that because what does my dad have to do with the. My romantic life, you know?

[Tamara Judge]

Yeah, yeah. What's your. You said you were seeing a therapist. What they say about all this, you know, I'm.

[Jacob]

See, that's why I have a really healthy perspective, because I know what is a right. What's the right way of thinking? But my. I don't really talk about that because it doesn't make me feel bad. There's a lot of different things in my life that I need therapy for, but this in particular, I don't really care about. I just wanted to talk about that because I think I was wondering if people in general experience the same amount of not caring that seemingly the love of your life will ever be with you. And I guess. I don't know. I'm scared to open the chat.

[Tamara Judge]

Well, hold on, hold on. I mean, the. This. Let me understand what you just said. Do other people similarly not care that they will never find love again? But there's. You. There's. But there's, like, a fallacy. But there's a fat. Is that what. Is that what you're saying?

[Jacob]

I'm saying, are there other people who are in love, but they also don't care about the feeling, so they continue on with their life. They don't talk to the person.

[Tamara Judge]

Well, hold on. There's a lot of. There's a lot of fallacies, I think, of what you just said, because you don't. I don't. You don't not care.

[Jacob]

Do I?

[Tamara Judge]

I don't. From my end, from talking to you, you don't seem like you don't care. You click. You've stated that you care about this person. You've stated that you love them. You've stated a lot of things that show that you care. You're just not. As you saying, like. Or you're. You're just saying you're not emotionally attached or invested, which is not the same as not caring. It's just. You're, like. From my understanding, it sounds like a healthy way of moving on from a relationship and continuing on with your life. That's not the same as, like, not caring.

[Jacob]

I guess you're right. I. I've never thought of it like that, but I guess you are right. I just. Because when people are in love and it's not mutual, I. They seem to, you know, they seem to be crying every day, like.

[Tamara Judge]

Yeah, they don't know.

[Walker]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

They seem insane, but I'm not saying.

[Tamara Judge]

Yeah, good. Good. You shouldn't be insane. You should. You're. You shouldn't be insane. I think you should absolutely not be going insane. That your high school boyfriend doesn't like you back. I think that's good. That's a good thing to not be going insane over. I don't think that. I don't think that you should be going insane over the fact that you're not going insane either. So I. You don't. I. I'm not concerned in this scenario. What do you. What do you. So what are you in school? Are you, like, in college now? Or what do you. What are you in school for?

[Jacob]

I'm like, I'm. I am a. In a business school, which is embarrassing to say. I see Instagram reels all the time about computer science majors and people attending business school not having a job in 10 years. And I partially agree, but partially. I will have a job.

[Walker]

Hopefully.

[Tamara Judge]

It's okay. Nobody's gonna have a job in 10 years. So we can all.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Tamara Judge]

The tunnels together.

[Jacob]

Yeah. Well, it's really fun out here.

[Tamara Judge]

What's your name again?

[Jacob]

My name is Sasha.

[Tamara Judge]

Sasha. Sasha is. Well, I guess I can take a couple questions. From the chat. If they have any. Let me, I'll, I'll, I'll read them out to you. You don't have to read the chat. Yeah. If the chat has any questions, I will, I will. I give, I got to give them a second to. Someone said, is Borch going, who the hell is that?

[Jacob]

It's like, it's a Russian. It's not a Russian soup, it's a Ukrainian soup. I just want people to know that. But yeah, it's. I couldn't hear the question, but the soup is amazing. You should definitely do it. Try to brew it at home. It's very easy thing to cook.

[Tamara Judge]

Someone said, what's your favorite pizza topping? I don't know if that's, that's not. Yeah, go ahead. You can answer that.

[Jacob]

Do you think it's a bot question? My favorite. I might get hate for that, but I don't like any toppings. I just love Margarita.

[Tamara Judge]

Without someone saying, it's like, oh, sorry, go ahead. Well, someone said, Someone said, Did she just call Borch Ukrainian? Is it Ukrainian or is it Russian?

[Jacob]

It's, it's a Ukrainian soup and I'm Russian, I'm. As a Russian, I would love to claim borscht, but it's not, it's not Russian, it's Ukrainian.

[Tamara Judge]

Someone said, is your dad, how's your dad doing with the divorce?

[Jacob]

Oh, he's, he's going insane. He's. He started drinking his. He's pretty much, yeah, he's going insane. Completely insane. He's been ignoring my mom for the past 20 years of their marriage and now when she's finally free, obviously he remembered that he had a wife and now she's gone. So he's gone insane. And I do feel bad for him, but yeah, it's. He's been neglecting this marriage this entire time.

[Tamara Judge]

Someone said, how's your relationship with your mom?

[Jacob]

With my mom, it's, it's good. I mean, it's a very trusting. I trust her a lot. My mom is, you know, she's a very loving person. But I don't know, I don't think I have a strong emotional, necessarily emotional bond with both my parents. But yeah.

[Tamara Judge]

Someone asked, what do you do for fun?

[Jacob]

For fun, I like that. Light hearted questions. Well, for fun. I draw a lot. I'm an artist and also I'm trying to learn Python and like coding, any type of coding, honestly, because I think it's very, it's a, that everybody has to know how to do. Who wants to get a good job so I'm trying to learn code and it's. It's very bad. It's very bad.

[Tamara Judge]

Well, what's your, what's your name again?

[Jacob]

My name is Sasha.

[Tamara Judge]

Sasha. Well, Sasha, good luck to you. I think. I think you're gonna be fine. But I. I don't know. I don't know if any. I don't know if anything will ever be fine or if I'm gonna be fine or if you're gonna be. I don't know anything. But I have. I don't know anything. But I'm optimistic. I'm optimistic that you and I will both be fine. And so everything. The sun will rise again and. Yeah, whatever, all that stuff. Is there anything else you want to say to the people, the computer before we go?

[Jacob]

Yeah, guys, all of you will be fine. Me, Lyle and everybody else. We all will be fine. And loved.

[Tamara Judge]

You're so.

[Jacob]

Thank you for having me.

[Tamara Judge]

Here's hoping. All right, take care, Sasha. Thanks for calling.

[Jacob]

Bye bye.

[Tamara Judge]

I gotta try me some of this Borch. Borsch. Bork. What's in it? I should ask her what was in it. I really like soup. Soups good. It's a hearty meal. I'm gonna do an advertisement for soup right now. Not. Not a spit. This is a free advertisement for soup. Right before we get into the real advertisements, this is just a general advertisement for soup. I think soup is really good. That's my ad for soup.

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[Walker]

Hello.

[Tamara Judge]

Hey, what's up man? What's your name?

[Walker]

Walker or Jesse Walker.

[Tamara Judge]

What's up, Walker? What are you up to? What are you doing?

[Walker]

Just got off work, man.

[Tamara Judge]

Yeah. What do you do for work?

[Walker]

I'm in the military.

[Tamara Judge]

Oh yeah? What, what branch of the military?

[Walker]

Army.

[Tamara Judge]

So how's that going for you? Because on this show, I don't know if you listen to the show, but I've had a lot of people call in who are like, they're like debating if they should join the military. And like I've talked to people who have and they, they enjoyed the results of their decision and I've talked to people who are not enjoying the results of their decision. So I'm curious where, where you're at with that.

[Walker]

I mean I've been in for like it's like a year and a half now roughly. I think I texted you about it like just being like a new, new, like private, new soldier in the army. I think it's a great decision. Being in the military is probably better decision that I've made compared to, you know, how I was living my life prior.

[Tamara Judge]

Okay, yeah. What, tell me about that.

[Walker]

I, I lived on my own. You know, I moved out of my folks house when I was like 20 and my mom didn't really want me to leave. You know, she was, she was super worried, super worried about me wanting to move out. I'm Sorry, dude. I'm like, I'm really excited. Roommates, like, try to look. You look up your screen because we didn't think we would make it on. But yeah, I lived on my own for a little bit at 20 years old, by myself, no roommates. It was great. I was a supervisor at an arcade, like, prior to joining the military, and that was really fun. But people at arcades are kind of, they're not the best people to work around all the time.

[Tamara Judge]

So what you said that this was better than the life you were living before. So why was the life you were living before not satisfactory to you?

[Walker]

Well, I felt like I didn't have, like, I didn't have any roommates, right? So, like, I just, I was by myself, man. I have, like a girlfriend or anything, and I spent a lot of time alone. Like, I would come home from work and I loved my job. I love interacting with people at arcades. I like to think I was pretty good at what I do since I made it up to supervisor. But I love my job. I come home and I'd be around all these people and customers, and I come home and I'd just be upset that I'm alone and I would have online friends to play games with, but they wouldn't always be on. So I'd just be sitting there by myself and, and God, God, I hope they don't see this. But like, dude, like, I got into, like, edibles and I like, started taking edibles just so I could feel something, you know, when I was there by myself and I was really lonely. I quit, you know, since I joined the military because I can't do that in the military.

[Tamara Judge]

Interesting. Interesting. Yeah, I, I, it's funny listening to you say this because I'm, I'm not exactly, I don't exactly find the concept of getting high alone in your apartment to feel something, to be foreign. So I get what you're saying. And then, so how long. When did you join the military? And then what made you ultimately decide that you wanted to do that?

[Walker]

Oh, well, like, I joined, like, man, I joined like 20, 23. Like, I'm brand new, dude.

[Tamara Judge]

Like, so, so why, why the military? What made you want to join, dude?

[Walker]

Because I feel like there was, like, no other options. I did like, like, I quit my job and like, you probably shouldn't quit your job before you move out of your apartment because I didn't know I had to pay for rent, so I had to work this, like, moving place, and I thought other jobs could fill the spot. But I was really out of shape at the time too. And I was just really, just upset with my life. I was happy that I had moved out, but like, I don't know, man. I guess I just didn't feel like I had achieved enough. And I, bro, I was not going back to school. I went to school for two years. I basically have an associate's degree. Yeah, I was, I'm not going back. So I thought it'd be a great choice. It can get me in shape, give me some discipline, you know, it was worth it. You know, Basic and AIT weren't fun. Don't let, don't believe what people tell you when they say, oh, these new soldiers don't have a hard time. Basic. No, they kick, they kick our ass.

[Tamara Judge]

I have never, ever, ever heard somebody say that. Basic training for the army is not that hard.

[Walker]

Oh, dude, no, it's the old, it's the older guys. This is the guys that like already been in for like 10, 12 years. They're like, yeah, they don't, they don't beat the out of you guys like they should.

[Tamara Judge]

I'm like, right, well, because for them, for them, they actually got the. They literally, the guy would beat the out of them. You know, they weren't just making you do push ups and stuff back then.

[Walker]

I mean, that's fair. But I have seen some people get like tossed and thrown around to the ground and I thought it was pretty funny. I mean, I, I ended up being on, I ended up getting my collar choked to the wall. And you know, people don't believe that this happens because.

[Tamara Judge]

Wait, wait, hold on. Wait, someone. So somebody choked you out?

[Walker]

No, they didn't. So they grabbed me by the collar. They like pushed me up against the locker because, like there was like a case going on in our basic and I wasn't, I had some information that I wasn't going to reveal and my drill sergeant just had enough and he grabbed me by the collar, he just took me to my locker and he's like, what do you know? And I'm like, I don't know anything. Please unhand me.

[Tamara Judge]

Wait, so. So there was a case going on and you were like, I'm not. But did you know? Like, did you, did you have this information but you just didn't want to snitch?

[Walker]

Yeah, dude. Like, dude, you snitch. It's kind of like Jill, dude, you snitching there? Dude, you snitching basic or something? You're, you're, you're rep is gone, man. Like, no one. No one's gonna tell you shit ever again.

[Tamara Judge]

Damn. So what. Can I ask what the case was or is the statue of limitations up on that? Or are you gonna get. I don't want you to get beaten up for snitching to the gecko. But I don't know if. I don't know if this is old news.

[Walker]

It's pretty old. It was probably some petty stuff, you know. I don't know if you know what sharp is, but it's like our program to prevent, like, sexual assault. And so I think it's pretty effective. But it's not as effect should be because it still goes. The stuff still happens in the military, sadly. But it was a sharp case. Like a sexual harassment case? Yeah. Not assault, of course, but like, when there was a girl there that felt, like, uncomfortable, one of the guys and our platoon, and apparently he had stole some of her clothes or something, and it was like, stashing them in his locker. Man, you'll do. You'll meet the weirdest people in basic training. Like, I mean, the most immature, like, dumbest idiots ever. And then you'll meet, like, these peak performing officer ready guys that come in like, as a specialist, and they're just like, the best of the best. And you just got like, the dumb. There's. Dude, it's. Anyone can join. Like, there's no range. Like you can. All ranges of people you'll meet.

[Tamara Judge]

So where. So after a year and a half. After a year and a half, what. How has it been for you? Are you still enjoying it? Was it a good decision?

[Walker]

Oh, yeah. I'm an older guy. Most of the guys join right out of high school, so they're like 18, 19. I'm 22, but they, like, join right out of high school and. But I joined when I was like, 21, so I was a fairly older guy. I was older than all the new guys. So it sucks being like, I guess, treated like I'm a kid again. Even though, like, you know, I lived, you know, on my own, I took care of myself. I'm not a kid, but I understand they do it for discipline. I understood why they do it is for respect, because discipline will either be the demise of you or you'll save your life, you know, I understand that now, but, you know, when I first got in, I didn't understand. I didn't like being talked down to like I was some kid because, you know, I. I'm a pretty functioning adult, you know, for the most part.

[Tamara Judge]

Did you sign a contract where you have to like be there for a certain amount of years.

[Walker]

Oh yeah, man, I, I'm, I'm in for six years.

[Tamara Judge]

Yeah. How do you feel about that? Yeah, because that's, because that's the main thing, right? Like when people. We had another caller very recently, it might have even been on the most recent episode or two episodes ago or whatever, who called in to debate whether or not he wanted to join the military. And he was like, yeah, that, you know, it's a six year contract. And that was the thing. That's the thing that I think am like the most hung up on is like pledging so much of your life to this thing at a young age is, is kind of crazy to me. Like, how do you feel about the fact that you have all this time that you have to be a military guy or else, I guess they, what do they do? They kill you if you leave?

[Walker]

No, if you don't serve your time, you'll just go to jail. But really, you go to jail, people.

[Tamara Judge]

That's crazy.

[Walker]

Like, guaranteed. Yeah. If you don't, you don't serve time, you're going to jail.

[Tamara Judge]

Jesus.

[Walker]

They will find you.

[Tamara Judge]

That's terrible. How do you, bro, how do you feel about that?

[Walker]

I, you know, keep my head down and I serve my time and I, it's, it's not hard. Like, you literally have to go awall. Like you have to just be. Lose contact with anyone you knew in the military with your leadership, with your nco. Like you gotta lose, you gotta go awol. Like, it's really hard to just not do your service. All you gotta do is show up. That, that's like the main. If you're lower enlisted, like for me, I don't know.

[Tamara Judge]

Well, sure, but I, but like, what if you, what if you decide you want to do something else?

[Walker]

You can. Oh God, I hope I don't get in trouble for saying this. You could hurt yourself. You can.

[Tamara Judge]

Jeez.

[Walker]

What's another thing you can. If you have like a case, like a sharp case against you, you can easily get kicked out. You can just like not participate in work and just be a horrible soldier and you know that can get you an article 15. You can get kicked out.

[Tamara Judge]

Really? So you can you. Well, so like if, so like if you, if you decide you don't want to leave, you can just like do it. Like what if you just, you show up, you just do a shitty job and you don't do what you're told and you off at like private pile from that movie. You Know, like, like, if you just do that, will they just kick you out?

[Walker]

Well, that's, that's going against like the code, right? Like, that's going against the discipline, like, they try to install, right? So you're going to catch hell, like 100, you're going to catch the most hell you ever caught. But if you're willing to go through all that just to get out of the military, by all means, I wouldn't recommend it. I just do the time and, you know, not be a, you know, just do the time, you know, oh, I'm wasting all my years of youth. Like, most people that say that they don't, they don't know what they want to do anyway and they think they're just going to magically figure it out. And I'm like, if military is already on your mind, you might as well just join. You know, I wish I joined earlier when I was younger, but most, most young guys, young females, young guys, young, everyone doesn't know what they're doing. I think military is great. Like, not all Moses have to do six years either. Like, you can do like three, four years. Like, it's not that bad. Just don't do infantry well.

[Tamara Judge]

So tell me about. So that's it. Because, look, here's the thing from my. Because this is clearly, this is a one shoe does not fit all sizes situation. Because I look at your, I look at what you've, everything you've told me, and I'm like, well, that sounds like it fucking sucks. But again, I mean, that's because, I don't know, I can't see like pledging like six years of my life to, to the military. But I definitely, definitely, definitely can see how for a certain kind of person who likes that rigid kind of structure and who likes the things that the military does provide, I can see how that can be beneficial. But tell me more. Like you said that the people who say, like, oh, I'm wasting my youth, you, you push back against that. Tell me more why you push back against that.

[Walker]

I think people that say they're wasting the youth is because, like, you're preparing yourself for like, the real role. Like, you don't have to stay in like 10, 12 years at least from my perspective, you know, I haven't been in that long. You know, it's like year and a half. And I'm pretty sure any, any military guy out there can figure out what my rank is. I'm not even going to say what my rank is, but just by saying how long I've been in. They probably already know what my rank is, so I'm not even gonna say it. But from my, my current experience, I don't think it was that bad. I think you need to get something out of it, you know, like there's so many things that the military offers. Like my goal is to like get the military pay for my school. Like, that's the main thing most people join for. Like, most people aren't fortunate, man. And if you're not, if you're not fortunate, your parents aren't rich or anything like that, like, join the military, bro. Like free. It basic sucks. Guaranteed it's gonna suck. You want you get to your unit, it's gonna suck at first, but once you, once you embrace enjoying the suck, it's really not that bad. You get free room and board, a place where you can go eat like any time. That's usually, you know, certain times of the day, morning, like breakfast, lunch and dinner. For a young person that doesn't have dude that's like, dude that's got a meal, you got somewhere to live, you got work, choose a mos that like you want to, you want to do something maybe that you want to do in the future and, or something you just like. And then, you know, don't be a bitch, you know, and you'll be fine.

[Tamara Judge]

Yeah, I, well, shit, I was gonna ask you. Oh yeah, so. So you were saying that you want the military to pay for school. What do you want to go to school for?

[Walker]

Like for flight school. I want to be a pilot.

[Tamara Judge]

That's cool. Well, I don't know. I don't know, man. I feel like again, I just can't get over the fact of like signing such a. Well, you know what sucks about being like 18 is that like you all these people are trying to get you to sign your life away. Like because the military, right, they're like, okay, if you give us six years of your life, we'll give you this stuff. And if you say, I don't really want to do that, yeah, you can go to college. But then college is like, hey, if you give us a hundred thousand dollars and take out this huge loan, then you know, we'll give you this stuff. And so it's pretty Easy as an 18 year old, especially if you don't have a lot to just get like signs. There's all like, as soon as you graduate college, there's all these deals with the devil that you can sign. And like, you know what? God bless the people for whom it's Worked out. But it is a little spooky to me that all these really young people are, are they just. They're being offered all these kind of intense options straight out the gate.

[Walker]

I mean, I can understand that. You know, I, I can understand that like being 18, like, you know, that's why I'm kind of glad, you know, I got a chance. You know, when I turned 18, I was still working at the same job. I worked at that arcade for six years, since I was 15. That's a. They hired me when I was really young. They did not know how old I was. That's. Sorry, sidetrack. But I was working there when I turned 18 and I was thinking about joining the military and you know, I just canceled it, you know, and I lived my life a little bit up until the age of 20 where I was like, you know, okay, I need to do something with my life. So I can understand, like joining like right at 18 can be kind of scary. And you know, I'm kind of glad. I say I wish I would have joined earlier, but I'm kind of glad I lived a little bit of my own life before I joined.

[Tamara Judge]

Right.

[Walker]

And I don't think it's like signing a contract with the devil, you know, I won't say that after.

[Tamara Judge]

Well, I don't know. I don't, I don't know. But let me look, look, well, let me say this. When you say you wanted to, by the way, I'm. I'm a, I'm a crazy person at Gecko Suits. So I'm not here to have a. I'm not here to have a discussion about the military industrial complex with you. I'm curious. When you, when you say, when you say I wish I'd lived my life a little bit more before joining, what is that? What, what is you living your life a little bit more look like?

[Walker]

Well, for me, like I said, I already did. Like I accomplished. I had a job, I was paying on the car and I moved out successfully on my own. Those are goals that I just had. Like get out of my parents house, you know, continue to pay out my car, continue to pay my insurance. See how I handle living life on my own. No roommates, no nothing. It was rough sometimes, but I like the challenge of like figuring out how to take care of myself, you know, I thought it was great, especially having your own peace of mind. Like, man, my mom, dude, she had me run. I love my mom. Don't get twisted. I do anything my mom needs me to do, but man, she had me running all over the place, like I had all the time in the world and I just kind of wanted a little peace of mind, you know, it was. But that was, that's what I mean by living my life. You know, I lived a little bit of life, you know, I moved out, got a little experience. I worked at a job. I went places around Texas. I'm from Texas. I went places all around Texas. Yeah, I just think you need to like, accomplish something before you join the military. Because if you consider joining the military your only accomplishment, I can see how that can be a little. That can, you know, make you feel like, well, I didn't, I didn't do shit with my life other than joining.

[Tamara Judge]

Well, you joined. I mean, you were like, well, I mean, shit, you were like, what, 20? I mean, how much, how accomplished are you supposed to be at 20, you.

[Walker]

Know, hey, man, in this economy, dude, 20, 23. Living on my own 20 as a 20 year old. I think that is a great accomplishment. I, I hold that up to myself to this day. I don't know how I managed to make it as like, dude, my rent was like 12. Like, no, it wasn't that bad. It was like 1200 for everything. 1300 roughly for everything. Then had like my car note, dude, I don't know how I made it sometimes.

[Tamara Judge]

God.

[Walker]

God help me, bro.

[Tamara Judge]

Well, look, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna take a. If the, I don't know if the chat has any twitch chat that I'm, I'm recording these on. I don't know if they have any questions. You don't have to look at the chat. I'll read the questions for you.

[Walker]

Oh yeah, I know somebody's gonna be.

[Tamara Judge]

I feel like, what do you think someone's going to be like, I, Someone's.

[Walker]

Definitely gonna ask some crazy questions. I was also gonna say, like, my experience in military is like, not done. So my perspective may change, but thus far is not that bag of a gig. I've heard some people's experience is bad. Some people do the full 20, you know, I don't know. Somebody take any questions.

[Tamara Judge]

This was the question I was gonna ask. Somebody said, what are your plans after you get out?

[Walker]

Oh, dude, that's why I'm like trying to get my pilot flat, my commercial and my private spouse license while I'm in. They give me like, kind of like, I think I had to use leave time, but I had to use like lead time and stuff to work on that stuff. I'm Gonna try to do all that and get the military to pay for that so I can be a pilot when I get out of the military. Hopefully.

[Tamara Judge]

Ryan's rewind asks, are you afraid of war?

[Walker]

It's a scary thought, you know, but when they asked me if I wanted to be like Reserve or National Guard or. No, those are like the part time people. I'm, I'm active duty. Those are like, I'm not going to say those are made people. They probably have like their own life. They have like kids and stuff. They got college and stuff going on. I don't have anything going on. That's why I chose active. But am I afraid of war? Nah. But I know I'm not going to be the same after it. I'm not going to lie to you. It's. I would not be the same afterwards.

[Tamara Judge]

Someone said, I don't know what this means, but someone said, what, what was your ASVAB score? What does that mean?

[Walker]

ASVAB? Oh, it was a 68.

[Tamara Judge]

What is an ASVAB?

[Walker]

My GT. The AS. That is like the test you take before you join the military. So you go to a military recruiting office, they'll have you, have you take this test so you can determine what job you are. You don't have to study for. Especially if you're like, you just got out of high school, you definitely don't have to study for it or you're like in college. Like me, I had just quit community college and I took the test. It's basically like math, science, English, technical mechanics. I think there's some other stuff. It's really easy in my opinion. I didn't think it was that hard. But some people don't think it's that easy and they have to go to programs to help them be able to take it and pass and then they'll join the military. That fun fact. I was too fat to join the military so I had to send me to fat camp. And that was horrible. Yeah, that was, that was not fun.

[Tamara Judge]

Someone, someone asked, do you think the American army is on the right side of history?

[Walker]

That's a great question. That's a great question. It depends man, because like we've, the American military and army specifically has done some pretty heinous stuff. Like they, they tell us about the history, like and they encourage us to look up the history and they use like previous military accidents and things that we did as like examples of what not to do with our current military. But I, yeah, I don't think the military was the best back in the day, like the reasoning sort of military's use even in peace times weren't the best. Especially in like when. When the military was like, first made around like 18. Oh, God, I'm supposed to know this. 1850. What? 1776. Holy 7075. Oh, my God. I almost forgot that I was kind of soldier of mine.

[Tamara Judge]

Do you feel like early days?

[Walker]

Yeah.

[Tamara Judge]

Yeah. Well, I guess it's good that they're like. It's good that they're like, yo, we did all this up crazy stuff in the past, so here, like, learn about it so that we don't do it again. Do you feel like. Do you feel like the military is on. On a better track now?

[Walker]

Yeah, I mean, I think it is. Yeah. I sound like I'm a recruiter, that that's what I sound like trying to tell people to join. I. I don't want to sound like I'm intruder. I just. I'm having a good time. I'm traveling. I'm getting free travel, free room and board. All I gotta do is go to work, do my job, which sucks sometimes. Go to stupid formations, which also sucks sometimes. I get smoked sometimes too. Any getting smoked means, like, you get punished usually. Push ups, lunges. It's all. It sucks. But other than that, man, like, I know. I'm just. I think it's great. I don't think everybody's gonna have the same experience.

[Tamara Judge]

What's your name again, sir?

[Walker]

Walk. Walker.

[Tamara Judge]

Yeah, right, right. Well, thanks for chatting with me, Walker. Is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?

[Walker]

Even though I cursed during this, you know, during this call, I love. I love God, I love Jesus. I love your show, Dick.

[Tamara Judge]

It's great, man.

[Walker]

I listen to it all the time.

[Tamara Judge]

Thank you, Walker.

[Walker]

But yeah, I want to waste your time.

[Tamara Judge]

No, you're all good. Take care, Walker. Good luck.

[Walker]

You too.

[Tamara Judge]

You know, that was it. That was an interesting car. I like. I truly. I really enjoy listening to, like, alternative perspectives on things because it's like, I don't know if you guys remember that phone call that we had on the show, like, however many podcasts ago it was where there was a guy who. He was like, debating whether or not the join the military. And I was like, we've. I've had conversations like this on the show with people like the guy we just talked to a bunch of times, and it's like, not everything's gonna work for every person because there's some people we've talked to who have been like, oh, I signed away six years of my life and I'm fucking terrified. But I don't know, it just goes. I think it goes to show in general, in general that there's a wide range of lives available to people and some are going to be a better fit for others than others. It just, it sucks that, like when you're, again, like I just. When you're 18, it's like, well, you can join the military and sign away six years of your life or you can take out a gigantic loan or. You know who I liked is we on a previous podcast, we talked to this guy who fucking like he was graduated from high school and he went and went to Yellowstone and just started working there and he had a pretty, he's been having a pretty good time with that. I don't know if you folks remember that guy, but I really like that. So, I don't know, I guess I would say if you're 18 and you're just now graduating and stuff, there's, there's a wide, there seems to be a wide breadth of options of things to do. You can go to fucking volunteer somewhere, take a gap year, do something. I don't know. I didn't know. There seems to be a wide breadth of options if, maybe if you're gung ho on joining the military, it could work out for you like it did for this guy. But I don't know I'm weary about signing away that much time of yourself. But I don't know. I don't know anything. I'm a crazy gecko guy. I'm glad it worked out for Walker and Tits.

[Sasha]

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[Teddy Mellencamp]

How crispy are the new Delimex Crispy Quesadillas? Let's see. I'm gonna pop one in the microwave. Yeah, Delimex Crispy Quesadillas are crispy. Even from a microwave. I can already smell it. Heads up. If you hate loud crunching, you might want to mute.

[Tamara Judge]

Mmm.

[Teddy Mellencamp]

So crispy. Like, barely hear myself think crispy. These should come with a warning. If this crispiness is making you hungry, get to your closest grocery store for Deli Mex Crispy Quesadillas in the frozen aisle.

[Tamara Judge]

Hello.

[H]

Hello.

[Tamara Judge]

What's your name?

[H]

My name's Jacob.

[Tamara Judge]

Jacob, what's going on with you? How's life? How's everything?

[H]

It's all right. I'm 19 and a little lost in life, I guess, like a lot of your listeners. Sounds like.

[Tamara Judge]

Yeah, well, it's funny, I, if I, I'm just going to level with you real quick. Jacob, is. It's, it's been, I think over the years, it's. Well, I'm just. Whatever. I, I don't think I ever set out to, I guess, start like an advice podcast because I'm almost 27 and I. And I've been able to be lucky enough to do a lot of stuff. And I'm also actually feeling pretty lost in life. Eight years older. Older than you. So it's, it's, it's. It's tough. So why are you feeling lost in life?

[H]

Dropped out of college, just stocking shelves, not really knowing what I want to do. I work overnight. It's been tiresome.

[Tamara Judge]

You don't know. Do you have inklings of an idea of anything you'd want to do?

[H]

No, I just want to, like, live and try to have hobbies and shit.

[Tamara Judge]

What kind of hobbies?

[H]

I don't know. I just smoke weed and collect records.

[Tamara Judge]

I don't know if smoking weed is a hobby.

[H]

If you do as much as I do, I think it is yeah, well.

[Tamara Judge]

How often are you smoking weed? I'm also a daily weed guy.

[H]

I've been trying to slow down for a while, but about a joint a day.

[Tamara Judge]

All right, well, so you want to have hobbies and live like. Like. Okay, well, tell me more about why you're feeling lost. Like what. Like, where's your. What do you long for?

[H]

Along for motivation. That's. That's what's been my struggle. Motivation. I have goals. I know what I want to do. Kind of. Not really, but I, like, I want to do it, you know?

[Tamara Judge]

Wait a minute. So you. What? You said you have your goals and you know what you want to do. What do you want to do?

[H]

Like, I want to make money and save money and be an adult and mostly relationships in life. I want to have good relationships. And.

[Tamara Judge]

Those are good goals. Those are good.

[H]

Yeah, man.

[Tamara Judge]

Do you have. Do you have friends?

[H]

Yeah, I have a good few good friends. You know, high school ended last year. You lose a lot of friends after that? I'm a very social person, so that sucked. But I got my good ones, and I think that's what matters.

[Tamara Judge]

Let's see. You want to make money. How do you want to make money?

[H]

I don't know. I've been stocking shelves, and that kind of makes money. I really have no plan on it. I just kind of want to, like, figure out life. I don't know. This shit's all confusing, you know?

[Tamara Judge]

Interesting. Have you, like. Have you tried to, like, okay, so you're, like, sitting here like, okay, I know what I want to do. I just have to do it. So what would. Yeah, what would you. What would you just doing it look like, even? Because you can't just do a thing that you don't even know what the thing is that you're doing. That's impossible.

[H]

Well, yeah, think, like, sitting at the end of every day, satisfied that I actually tried.

[Tamara Judge]

That's not. That's. That's not a thing, though.

[H]

Okay.

[Tamara Judge]

Sitting at the end, that's a feeling. I'm like you. I'm talking about, like, huh, that's not it. You didn't describe an action. Just now described it. Okay, what is when you say, I know what I want to do, I just have to do it. What is doing it look like?

[H]

Well, for example, I used to love biking a lot, and there's something that made me really happy. I have a bike. I just don't get on it anymore. And simple stuff. I think, okay, I'm just not doing anymore.

[Tamara Judge]

What's stopping you? From riding your bike.

[H]

Myself or just lay in bed. I don't know. I just. I don't have the motivation to really go out and do it or not. I could be. I don't know.

[Tamara Judge]

Have you ever talked to a real therapist about any of this stuff?

[H]

It's been something that's been on my list. I just only have online therapy. That's free to me.

[Tamara Judge]

Yeah, scary.

[H]

I haven't touched it yet. I'm scared to touch it. Why?

[Tamara Judge]

You have. You have free online therapy. Who? Through what?

[H]

Through my mom's insurance.

[Tamara Judge]

Oh, okay. So you're through your mom's insurance, you get free online therapy.

[H]

Yeah, I just. I have the app. I just have to press a button and then the conversation starts.

[Tamara Judge]

Ah, man, you should do that shit.

[H]

I. I've been able to do it for like two months and I haven't touched it.

[Tamara Judge]

Ah, you should do it.

[H]

Okay, you're telling me. I'll do it.

[Tamara Judge]

There we go. Okay, there we go. We got a thing. Perfect day. Done. See, here's the thing, right? It's like. Because I guess what I said, like, just now when you were like, I want to be satisfied. And I was like, that's not an action. It's like we got to think of, like, some actual action thing to fucking do.

[H]

Make.

[Tamara Judge]

And that's. I think that's a great. That's a great. That's a great first action to start fucking. Oh, my God. Especially if it's free.

[H]

Dude, this shit's crazy. I've been listening to you since COVID.

[Tamara Judge]

Yeah, that's. That's when I started doing this.

[H]

Yeah, man.

[Tamara Judge]

The big. The big. So what are you going to talk to your online therapist about all the.

[H]

My motivation is. Yeah, it's just been motivation. I haven't had the motivation in so long. I. I didn't have the motivation my senior year of high school.

[Tamara Judge]

Your senior year of high school wasn't that far away, was it?

[H]

No, no, it was the 2022-2023. That sucks.

[Tamara Judge]

What would a real therapist say? I don't know.

[H]

Well, you're not one, so.

[Tamara Judge]

Yeah, well, I. Well, I guess it's so hard because sometimes, you know, like, you know, the Nike just do it thing.

[Walker]

Yeah.

[H]

Yeah.

[Tamara Judge]

It's so funny because you can. I think there's a lot of things where you can kind of get into thought loops about and go over and over and over about motivation and so that. And like, I think some of this shit is chemical, right? And sometimes your brain chemistry is just fucked. But other Times I am kind of like. I think there is a little bit of Nike, just do it in there. Of, like, you just gotta just do something. But don't. Don't overload yourself. I mean, I don't know. These. These are, like, topics that people have studied and written extensively about and come to some forms of conclusion. And hopefully, hopefully your online therapist has good conclusions for you. Yeah, but that's a good place to start. I mean, especially. Especially. Especially if it's free and you have the opportunity to do it without spending a bunch of money.

[H]

So just do it.

[Tamara Judge]

Just do it.

[H]

That's the advice I'm getting.

[Tamara Judge]

Yeah. Sorry, it's shitty, but I think it's. That's. That's. That's all I. That's all I. That's the only conclusion I think I have in this moment.

[H]

Oh, that probably helps. I'll. I'll press the button on my phone and talk to someone good.

[Tamara Judge]

Please, dear God, do that.

[H]

I will.

[Tamara Judge]

What kind of bike do you have?

[H]

Oh, fuck. I don't know, Boulder. That might be complete. Really? Me making it up. It's cool. Fuck, I don't even know. I got it from the bike shop. They sold it to me because my last sound sucked.

[Tamara Judge]

That sounds like a place where people get bikes from.

[H]

Yeah, yeah. It was a vintage bike from the 80s or something.

[Tamara Judge]

Cool.

[H]

Yeah. It has two wheels and it goes.

[Tamara Judge]

Ride your bike. Your fucking bike, man. That sounds fun.

[H]

Okay, I'll ride my bike.

[Tamara Judge]

Just so you know when you. Just so you know when you're riding your bike, where. What state do you live in?

[H]

Texas.

[Tamara Judge]

Okay, so is this. Is it cold?

[H]

It's 40 degrees right now.

[Tamara Judge]

Celsius or Fahrenheit? That's the dumbest thing I've ever asked anyone in my entire life. So it's cold. Yeah.

[H]

Yeah.

[Tamara Judge]

All right, well, ride your bike. Cold.

[H]

I'm still gonna do it. I'm on a Rollerblade.

[Tamara Judge]

No, go. Go ride your bike. I just. Just so you know, I. When you're riding your bike in the cold and you're outside and you're looking at stuff and people and you're. You're out and you're moving your body through space, you're really living the height of human experience. I mean, that you're really doing the most anyone's ever done. When you're doing that, that's like. Yeah, that's everything there's ever. Everything's in that you're. You're living. I just really understand how intensely psychedelic and amazing of an experience that is the gist. To ride your bike down the street, really, like, soak up all there is to soak in that when you're doing it, and you'll be like, huh, my life's pretty crazy right now.

[H]

Have you ridden your electric bike much? I remember you talking about that.

[Tamara Judge]

I did. I. There was a period, I had a period of time where I was obsessed with the idea of getting an electric bike and being like, an electric bike guy. Now I. I don't like. I used to ride the city bike, but I don't like it every. Every single time. I. It's probably different for you because you're in Texas, but in New York City, every single time I try to ride a bike, I almost die. I almost get hit by a car. Are you in a big city or are you in, like, a, Like a suburb?

[H]

I'm in, like, a suburb next to Dallas, so.

[Tamara Judge]

Okay, perfect. Okay, perfect, perfect. So you won't almost die?

[H]

No, no, no, no.

[Tamara Judge]

But, yeah, I, I didn't, I didn't end up buying the ebike because I, I, I just like walking.

[H]

Okay, that's enough, Walker. That's enough.

[Tamara Judge]

That guy. Walker.

[H]

Yeah, Walker. I'm still in shock. This is cool.

[Tamara Judge]

Jacob, Jacob, Jacob. Is there any. Well, before we go, is there anything else that you wanted out of this experience that I could provide for you or. I have a question for you before we go. Yeah, please.

[H]

Do you know what Afantasia is?

[Tamara Judge]

Say that again.

[H]

A Fantasia.

[Tamara Judge]

A Santasia.

[H]

Yeah, like Ph Fan Aphantasia.

[Tamara Judge]

Is that. That's that Disney movie with.

[H]

No, it sounds like it.

[Tamara Judge]

Brooms.

[H]

It's the inability to picture things in your head.

[Tamara Judge]

Oh, okay. Actually have. Okay. I actually do kind of know. Yeah. Okay. Actually, do you know what this is? I do know what. Yeah.

[H]

Yeah, I got that. Yeah.

[Tamara Judge]

Oh, you do? Yeah.

[H]

I can't picture.

[Tamara Judge]

Huh. Okay. So I guess everything I said to you about picturing yourself. Yeah, I guess that meant nothing to you.

[H]

Yeah.

[Tamara Judge]

Well, I don't do it.

[H]

And I'll. And I'll. I'll write it down so I remember.

[Tamara Judge]

Okay, good. Good. Yeah, good. Honestly, I'm picturing you doing it, and I'm like, that's nice. I'm picturing you. I'm literally picturing you right now riding your bike through a suburb of Dallas, looking, Breathing fresh air, and I'm like, that sounds really nice. So it's. I'll do it for you right now in this moment.

[H]

Wow. I appreciate that.

[Tamara Judge]

Is there anything else you want to say to the People, the computer before we go, Jacob.

[H]

Other than just do it, I guess that'd be it.

[Tamara Judge]

Hey, have a good one. Thank you.

[H]

This is so cool.

[Tamara Judge]

Go enjoy your bike ride, man. I'm living vicariously through you. Well, I guess I don't have to. I'm gonna. After this, I'm gonna probably. I'm gonna walk outside of my apartment and I'm going to walk around and I'm going to do the thing that I just told you to do because I just told you to do a very hippie bullshit thing. And so I'm. When I'm walking outside of my apartment today, I'm going to be. I'm going to be like, okay, I got to do the hippie thing that I just told that guy on the phone to do, where I'm going to be like, soaking up the psychedelic experience of walking outside. So I'm gonna do this. You've inspired me today, Jacob.

[H]

Great. Sounds like a plan. We both got something to do today.

[Tamara Judge]

I like that. All right, I'll talk. I'll talk to you. Maybe never again. And maybe in the astral realm, if.

[H]

You come back to Dallas, I will talk to you.

[Tamara Judge]

Have a good one, Jacob.

[H]

All right, bye. Thank you.

[Tamara Judge]

I'm doing it. I'm taking a walk. I'm gonna walk right now. This is the end of the podcast. I'm gonna. I'm gonna go outside and take a walk. If you're listening to this, maybe you can go outside and take a walk and we can all walk around together and then die. Therapy geckos doing it right, teaching you how to live your life. But he's not really an expert.

[G]

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[Tamara Judge]

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[Tamara Judge]

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[Tamara Judge]

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