Loading summary
Transcript404 lines
- [00:00]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
This is an iHeart podcast.
- [00:02]
Advertisement Voice
Guaranteed Human Getting to a great idea is hard in college. Nonsensical essays, cringe inducing presentations, and seemingly unsolvable problem sets. But then the first thought becomes a final thesis. Jumbled slides transform into a polished keynote. And that midterm assignment gets a lot less mid. Because the road to great ideas is littered with bad ones. You just have to keep going until something clicks. Great ideas start on Mac. Find out more on apple.com college this
- [00:36]
July 4th, come celebrate at America's Block Party. Hosted by America 250. America's Block Party is a can't miss 4th of July concert happening at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Experience music, performances from major artists, patriotic tributes, and the kickoff to giving 4th, helping to make July 4th the largest day of giving in American history. It's more than just fireworks. We learn more about this landmark celebration@america250.org
- [01:05]
Duracell Advertisement Voice
did you know not all batteries are the same? For example, only Duracell batteries are built different with power boost ingredients. And Duracell are the only batteries that make this sound. Every time you say power boost ingredients. See Duracell batteries with power boost ingredients. You try north ingredients.
- [01:25]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Told you.
- [01:26]
Duracell Advertisement Voice
Duracell batteries are built different with power boost ingredients. And they're built right here in the USA with US and global parts.
- [01:38]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Hello.
- [01:39]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Hello.
- [01:39]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Hi. Oh my God. Geck.
- [01:41]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
What is your name?
- [01:42]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Sydney.
- [01:43]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Sydney. What's going on, Sydney? How's life?
- [01:46]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Life is good. I'm just at home. Just came back from walking the dog.
- [01:51]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
You texted me and you said you want to talk about what it's like being a female truck driver. I thought that was interesting.
- [01:58]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So I work, I work for a trucking company and I basically just like move trucks around all day. It's pretty fun.
- [02:09]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
You move how long of a distance do you move these trucks?
- [02:13]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Well, I do just like, like around, like my city and everything. Like you can choose to do log distance or like around the city, but I want to come home every day. So I choose like, I chose like to be able to like work during the day. You know, I just work like seven to two every day and it's pretty chill.
- [02:31]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Okay, so it's not like a crazy like long haul trucking thing?
- [02:36]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
No, it's because like I wanted to do that, but I have a kid, so I like don't want to do that. Obviously I like being home every day.
- [02:44]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
How's your kid doing? How old are they?
- [02:47]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
She's two. Just turned two. Yeah.
- [02:50]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
How's that going?
- [02:51]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Yeah, She's.
- [02:53]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
It's fun, it's good. She's crazy, but, you know, it keeps me busy.
- [02:57]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
You hesitated. Why'd you hesitate? I'm curious.
- [03:01]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Well, because right now, like, she's not with me. She stays with her dad half the time. So unfortunately, she's not here today.
- [03:08]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Is her dad in the same city as you?
- [03:12]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Yeah. Yeah, so he lives not far from me, like, 10 minutes from me. So I moved out, like, in October, so. Because things weren't really great between us, but, you know.
- [03:23]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
How long were you two. How long. How long were you two together? For,
- [03:29]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
like, four or five years, something like that. We met in 2020.
- [03:33]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Okay. That's a long time.
- [03:35]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Yeah. And that's when, like, I started listening to you in 2020, when I was working at a different job doing, like, different kind of trucking.
- [03:42]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Why did. Why did things, like, deteriorate?
- [03:48]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Well, he was, like, addicted to porn.
- [03:52]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Oh, how addicted? How. How addicted to porn Was he, like, like, every time?
- [03:58]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Yeah, no, he used to send pictures of his ass to, like, random guys on, like, Snapchat and, like, talk to random people on Omegle. And. And, like, the thing is, he never wanted to have sex with me. That was, like, the main issue. And I'm like, not like that. Like, I like having an intimate relationship, you know, Like. But he, like, just never communicated, like, always shut down every time I talk to him, you know, like. So, like, things kind of just got worse over time. But we were stuck living together, you know, because, like, we both moved out pretty young, so I was like. He was my only way out of, like, living at, like, my mom. So, you know, I didn't really have a choice. And, like, obviously things are always good at first, but then, like, you find out who someone really is.
- [04:36]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Mm.
- [04:37]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Mm.
- [04:37]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
No, this. The thing about, like, the, like, porn and jacking off addiction thing is, like, that is the point. Yeah. When, like, like, I do believe that stuff can coexist alongside a healthy relationship, but, like, when it gets to a point where, like, you're not even attracted to your, like, partner anymore. Like, you didn't want to have sex with them anymore. I mean, that's just like.
- [04:58]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Yeah.
- [04:58]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Yeah, sounds like a shit relationship.
- [05:01]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
It was not fun. Like, it made me feel very unwanted, you know, and then it made me, like, very anxious. Like, I got, like, you know, I had, like, an interesting childhood, so I was, like, pretty anxious already. And then, like, him always, like, sneaking around and, like, lying about his phone and. And hiding his phone all the time, you know, And I would Find, like on his phone, and he would just lie straight up to me about it, you know, or see who change and then like, never do.
- [05:24]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Was there, like, what did you guys have? Like, a good sex life, like, at the beginning of the relationship, and then it just, like, deteriorated from there. It was like always, always there.
- [05:33]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
It was always me who initiated. Like, should have seen the red flag. Like, it was always me, you know. But like, his last relationship, he told me that his girlfriend never wanted to have sex, so he, like, never did, you know, and he respected her, obviously, you know, but like, so I think he never learned. So, like, we did it for the first time together. Great. But then he never really, like, initiated, you know, but, like, you know, we got along really well. Like, we had friends, like, together, you know. Like, we got along really well, you know, had a lot of stuff in common, you know, So I tried not to think about it too much. And yeah, I just never got better, you know.
- [06:08]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
How are you guys?
- [06:09]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Just the lying.
- [06:11]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
It was the lying you said.
- [06:13]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Yeah, there's a lot of lying, you know, like, even to this day, always, like, little white lies.
- [06:19]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
How are. How is the co parenting going? Is he all right to co parent with?
- [06:26]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
It's a lot better now for sure. Like, I moved out in October, so ever since moving out, like, it's been way, like 10 times better. But I had to fight him to, like, get to mediation. I had to fight him, you know, to, like, get child support. And even like today he's still, like, late on child support, hasn't paid me yet, you know, like, he's supposed to do it every month, but, like, whatever. Did you guys, like, the kid is happy.
- [06:48]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Did you guys have a lot of disagreements in terms of, like, how to raise the child?
- [06:53]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
No, I mean, not really, like, but I'm the one who's more in control of everything, you know, Like, I have to tell him, like, what to do a lot, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, like, what to feed her, how to put her to bed, how, like, you know, how to give her, like, simple things, you know, that he should just do as a parent, you know, I have to, like, tell him. But, like, I mean, he has gotten a lot better, though, because I think, like, having her more, you know, like, on his own, like, has made him, like, show up more for her because she wasn't really there for the first, like, year of her life, you know.
- [07:25]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Where was he?
- [07:27]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Well, like, he was just working all the time, or he would come home and just like, lie on the couch and If I ever asked, like, if I want to go out, he would just be like, call my mom, you know, to watch her.
- [07:36]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
If he ever say that again. If you ever wanted to go out, he would call his mom. To watch her.
- [07:43]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Yeah. Or he would tell me to call her and be like, if you want to go out, like, call my mom, you know, like, he wouldn't stay home and watch her, you know, he couldn't deal with the baby.
- [07:52]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Does he like being a dad?
- [07:54]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
I mean. Yeah. Like, you know, he's the one who wanted the baby. You know, he's the one who convinced me, like, not to get an abortion. Like, was super into it. Like, we'll be, you know, nice, happy family. And then. Yeah.
- [08:06]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Really?
- [08:08]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
Yeah.
- [08:08]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Yeah. So that's the thing. Like, you know, like, I found out pretty early, and, you know, like, I was like, for sure, 50. 50. Like, definitely had to think about it. And in the end, like, I did, like, keep her, obviously my decision, but, like, he definitely, like, played a part in it too, you know, was like, I'm very happy now. Like, I'm living my best life right now. So I'm, like, super happy and everything now. So everything worked out well, you know, but still, like, I have a boyfriend now, and that's been great. He's, like, the best guy ever. So it's like a 180, you know.
- [08:39]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
That's awesome. Was. Was the baby planned? Like, was it, like, a plan or, like, you became pregnant and then it was like, 50. 50 on keeping it.
- [08:53]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Yeah, Like. Like, I. We weren't even together when I got pregnant, really. Like, we had. We had broken up. Like, it was like August 2023, and we had broken up, but then, like. Like, we had two cats, and I, like, was bored on a Friday night, and, like, I want to go see if they're there. And then he weren't. They weren't there. Like, he brought them to his mom's and shit. And then, like, whatever. One thing led to another. So fucking stupid. So we got back together, obviously, when I found I was pregnant, and then. Yeah, so that would be, like, not stable to begin with, I guess. But, like, we're chill now, you know, like, he has a girlfriend. I have a boyfriend now. Like, you know, he's living his life, I'm living mine. I mean, we definitely do disagree every once in a while, and, you know, it's not too bad, but you're living
- [09:39]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
your best life now.
- [09:41]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Yeah, definitely. Like. Like, I have an amazing boyfriend. We have, like, a little, like, townhouse together. We Just got a dog, you know? Like, I work, like, part time, you know, like, at a super chill, like, truck driving job, you know, everyone's, like, very nice, you know, so I'm pretty lucky.
- [09:58]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
That's awesome. Yeah. Tell me about. Yeah. What is the. What does your best life look like? Is it. Is that what you always wanted it to be?
- [10:03]
Advertisement Voice
Like?
- [10:05]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Yeah, definitely. I think is, like, I don't really have, like, like, a normal upbringing, you know, I had, like, divorced parents, but, like, not messy divorced parents, you know? So when I, like, me and her dad didn't work out, I wanted to make it, like, as easy as possible. Like, I didn't want any fighting, I didn't want lawyers, I didn't want court, you know, I just wanted to make it, like, easy as possible.
- [10:25]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Mm.
- [10:28]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
But, yeah. But, yeah, I love my life. Like, I love that I get to drive around all day and, you know, get to hang out with my dog and go to pool and, like, my. Me and my boyfriend golf together. We go to dinner even though we can't. We shouldn't go out to eat as much. That's our, like, main issue in life. Spending money on food.
- [10:44]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
But, like,
- [10:46]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
everything's so expensive.
- [10:49]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
And what's making your. You said your boyfriend's the best. Why is he the best?
- [10:55]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
Well, I don't know.
- [10:55]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Like, he tells me he loves me. He actually, like, treats me right. He, like, cares about me and, like, shows it, you know?
- [11:01]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
That's nice.
- [11:02]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Like, took in, like, me and my daughter, you know, it didn't have to do that, you know, he liked me and he knew. He had a kid. I had a kid. But, like, he didn't have to do what he did, you know, he didn't have to help us and, like, you know, help me, you know? Like, he didn't have to do all that, but he did.
- [11:18]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
No, he sounds like a good dude. What's.
- [11:21]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
What's he doing?
- [11:21]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Definitely, he does, like, like, car wrapping. So, like, you know, like, you put, like. Let's say you get a new car or whatever, and you want to protect your paint. Like, he does that. So he, like, wraps the car in, like, a clear film or, like, you can make a mat or whatever.
- [11:36]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
So he does.
- [11:37]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
He has his own business.
- [11:38]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Nice. What? Yeah. And you're Canadian?
- [11:43]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Yeah. Yeah.
- [11:44]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Where in Canada do you. What city is it?
- [11:47]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
I'm in Montreal, and I'm actually.
- [11:49]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
You're in Montreal? Oh, you're in my Montreal? You go to the show? Oh, cool. That'll be my first dude that. That's gonna Be my first time in Montreal. I've heard only incredible things about Montreal. I've heard it's like a amazing place.
- [12:04]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
No, honestly, I love living here. Like I was born and raised, you know, Like, I love it. Other than the French, like, everything is great other than.
- [12:11]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Okay, tell me about this. What do you mean, other than the French?
- [12:14]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
Well, it just.
- [12:14]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Cuz like I'm like born here, but like, I don't speak very good French, so like, sometimes it's hard for me, you know, that's why, like, I like truck driving. I don't really have to speak French to anyone. But everyone speaks English though.
- [12:26]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Well, what's the deal there? Okay, so I'm very. That's been a thing and I guess I'll get a handle on it when I go there. I'll probably stay a few days. Actually, most of these places I'm kind of going in and out. But Montreal, I want to stay a few days. I've.
- [12:37]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Yeah, for sure.
- [12:39]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
I've heard that it's like. Yeah, I don't know what's the deal with it? Because it's like, it's Frenchy, but not everyone speaks French. But sometimes I meet a guy from Montreal and he has like a French accent and I'm like, what is this? But then I talk to you and you're just like, you have a fully Canadian accent, so I don't know what's going on.
- [12:58]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
So like, it all depends, I guess, on where you're like born or raised. Like, I'm in like the west part of Montreal, so it's all like English here. Like, very English, like suburbs, you know. And then if you're on the city or like the outskirts of Montreal, it's more like French, you know, like Laval and like Longue, like downtown. You know French. But let's say I were to go to a restaurant downtown and spoke English. Like the waiter would speak English to me. You know what I mean? Like, people are pretty bilingual,
- [13:23]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
so like,
- [13:24]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
you'll have no problem, you know, talking to people. Like maybe, like, they'll have an accent, but like, they'll still speak like English to you. And especially tourists. People love tourists, you know.
- [13:34]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Do you guys get a lot of tourists?
- [13:37]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Yeah, I would, I think so. Like, I don't go downtown too often, but I love going to the old port during the summer. It's so nice, like going on the terraces and everything like that. The best.
- [13:48]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Well, I also. I was gonna. I also wanted to ask you. You wanted to talk about what it's like being a Female truck driver. I didn't know if you wanted to elaborate on that at all.
- [13:58]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
I mean, it doesn't really matter. Like, I mean, it's pretty fun, you know? Like. Like, I don't know. Like, it is sometimes. Like, obviously men, like, it always seems like they're very surprised, you know, because I'm, like, not a tall girl. Like, I'm pretty petite, you know? So, like, they're always like, oh, like, how do you do this? Drive these big trucks? You know? And I'm like, I don't know. Like, you, like, normally, like, I just gotta bring the seat up a little more than you. Like, I don't know. Like, I think it's the only thing. Or, like, they'll call me, like, you know, like, in French, like, pretty is like jolie. So they'll call me, like, jolie a lot. You know, a lot of people I work with. But, like, sometimes I'll go, like, today, like, a construction worker called me that, and I was like, okay, like, bud, like, move along, you know?
- [14:38]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
It is the horniest language, is it not?
- [14:41]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Yeah, I feel like it, like Pepe
- [14:44]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
le Pew, like, the. The most famously horned. Do you know Pepe le Pew?
- [14:49]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Yeah, of course. I love Looney Tunes.
- [14:52]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
I feel like jolie. I will say, like, but it makes sense that it's, like, the horniest language because, like, I don't know if, like, some French guy called me jolie, you know, I would. I would blush a little bit, I think.
- [15:06]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Yeah, for sure. I mean, I'll take the compliment, you know? Like, I'm not, like, they're not being, like, rude or anything or, like, overly, like, sexual, you know, like, they're just old men, you know, See a pretty girl, like, I don't really let it bother me too much.
- [15:20]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
So you speak a little bit. So everyone, like, when you go to. You went to school there, right? Like, what do they teach in school? Is it French or English?
- [15:28]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
So, well, there's two school boards. There's an English school board and a French school board. I went to the English one because you need, like, your parents to be born. Both your parents be born in Quebec to be able to be able to go to English school. Because both my parents were born here. I was able to go to English school, but if they weren't, let's say I was an immigrant. Like, immigrants, when they come here, they're forced to go to French school. Like, so they have no choice but to learn French. So they're, like, stuck in Quebec because they only know French when they Come here.
- [15:53]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
That's stupid, doesn't it? Yeah, that's like kind of wild. Is it? Why do they do it? Why do they do it like that?
- [16:00]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Because they want to protect their language.
- [16:02]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Oh yeah. But then it. Everyone who goes there, because. Yeah, they can't really leave Quebec.
- [16:07]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Exactly.
- [16:08]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
They go to France, I guess.
- [16:09]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Exactly. But that's why like you're. If you're an immigrant coming from, you know, wherever, you know, India or whatever, like they want you to stay here, but they want you to like only learn their language, you know, and they make you pay a bunch of money to come here too.
- [16:24]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
How big is this truck you're driving? How many wheels we talking?
- [16:28]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Some eyes, like 18 wheelers and stuff and. Or like straight bodies. Like the long ones? Yeah, yeah. Like I have to, you know, be careful, especially driving around the city. But that's why like it's kind of safer than highway driving. You know, more accidents can happen that way. So I don't mind being in traffic all day, you know, like just going around the city.
- [16:46]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Well, I feel like it. Okay, so I actually was feeling like it's the opposite because if you're on a highway, you just got to move for you. Just like, like I love when I'm doing a long drive and I look at my Google maps and it says like a hundred miles or kilometers or whatever until the next thing. Because I'm like, all right, I just go forward. Right. But driving a. Yeah, driving an 18 wheeler at like, like taking an 18 wheeler to like a traffic stop, that sounds. That sounds like a nightmare.
- [17:13]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Yeah, I mean it's honestly like I'm going pretty slow, you know, it's not a big deal. And I'm like just like kind of cruising around the city, you know, Like I'm not really rushing anywhere. It's more annoying like when I'm trying to get home and like there's traffic, which tends to be often. But you know, it is what it is. But like the thing is, it's like when you're on the highway, like it's more dangerous because like that can cause like a fatal accident, you know, I'd rather get into a little fender bender, you know, like in the city. Then like get into like a five car pile up on the highway, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like that's like what the danger is. That's why I don't get paid like crazy. So like the highway guys, they get paid more because like of the risk and obviously they're going further, you know.
- [17:54]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Yeah. Yeah, I've talked about this a billion times on the year, but, like, I. I fucking. That's the. That's the most, like, that's so dangerous to me. Just be the highway. I hate the highway. Like, I'd rather go to, like, the. The walk around, you know, in Iraq than, like, be on, like, the highway of a nice suburb, you know? Like, that shit fucking scares me.
- [18:13]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Yeah, exactly. For sure. Like, I know it's like, I always hear about accidents and shit, you know, people dying all the time. Like, I always see is, like, people dying, you know, and it's like, fuck, man, it's messed up.
- [18:26]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Well, I hope you live long enough to be a little old lady walking around Montreal. That sounds like one of the best lives available to a human being.
- [18:35]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Thank you. Me too. Honestly, like, I want to live a long time. I don't want, like, I want my daughter to see me when I'm, like, old and shit, you know, and be there and watch her and everything. We just had a loss in the family. My aunt just passed, so it's like my cousin be without a mom. I'm like, I don't want that to ever happen, you know? Like, only when I'm really old.
- [18:56]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Sydney, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
- [19:01]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
No. Everyone have a nice night, beautiful.
- [19:05]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
All right, I'll see you in Montreal, dog.
- [19:08]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Yeah, see you in Montreal. Have a good one.
- [19:10]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Bye, Sydney.
- [19:11]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Thanks. Bye.
- [19:15]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Montreal. Yeah, Canada's cool. I was just in Vancouver. You want something funny about Vancouver?
- [19:20]
Ryan Reynolds (Mint Mobile Advertisement)
I was.
- [19:21]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
I was in. I was on a leg of the tour that took me through the Pacific Northwest, and I forgot my passport. I was like, oh, fuck. And so I, like, looked it up online, and it's like, you can. So like, legally, if you have a, Like a. Like a true notarized copy of your birth certificate and your driver's license, sometimes they'll let you in. But I didn't have that. I just had I, like, printed out, like, just a piece of paper from, like, an email my mom sent me with a copy of my birth certificate and. And my. My driver's license, and they just. They let me in. And then I. I came back to America with just that, like, piece of paper and my driver's license, and they let me in again. The Canadian border is very chill, so, I mean, you probably should. I wouldn't risk it if I were you. I wouldn't go out of my way to. I wouldn't go to. I wouldn't go to the border of Vancouver and Washington, Oregon, whatever. One of those state. Why do I not. Why is it that I wouldn't. I wouldn't bet my life that I know whether Oregon or Washington is this northernmost state. It's got to be Washington. It's Washington. Washington is above Oregon. Yes, Washington. I wouldn't go to the border of Washington and Canada just to see if you can do it. But if you. If you have to, if you're there for whatever reason and you get a nice Canadian guy, he might let you in without a passport. You can, you can. You can tell them that you heard that on the therapy gecko podcast and they'll let you in.
- [21:09]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Oh, hello. Hey, what's up?
- [21:11]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
What's up? How you doing? How's life?
- [21:13]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
It's all right.
- [21:14]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
How about you?
- [21:15]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
You know,
- [21:18]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
just another day. Just another day. What's your name?
- [21:21]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
I'm Jackson.
- [21:22]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Jackson, what brings you to the therapy Gecko program today?
- [21:28]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
I don't know, man. I was just having a bit of a. Of a hard day, But I just got back home and I'm feeling a bit better. Yeah, just having a weird day with my girlfriend, I guess.
- [21:39]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
What's been weird about it?
- [21:41]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Well, basically, we're hanging out today. I'm, like, about to leave to work at a summer camp job, and her birthday is on the weekend, so we just, like, went to hang out. We went to, like, a ceramic place to make some pottery and, like, go for lunch. And basically she was just, like, very upset at me this morning because, like, right when she woke up, she was just, like, really stressed. And I was like, why are you. Why are you stressed? Like, what's going on? And she just, like, wasn't able to tell me, so I didn't really know what to do. And then she was just, like, kind of upset all day that I, like, wasn't able to help with that. And then, yeah, she's at work now, and we had, like, a really not great conversation about it, and now I just feel kind of weird about the situation.
- [22:38]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Okay, so she. Her birthday is this weekend, you guys. You did a bunch of birthday stuff with her earlier because you're going to be out of town for the summer camp job. She wakes up, she's stressed out, and then she's upset at you for. You don't really know why she's upset at you.
- [22:57]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Yeah, like, she. She was just. She had, like, a rough day at work yesterday, and I was, like, really trying to just be there for her last night, but I guess this morning I, like, didn't quite have the energy to give. And I was just kind of, like, hoping that she would figure it out and, like, be okay and. Because she just didn't really know, like, why she was stressed, but she was stressed. And then. And we just, like, kind of ruined the whole birthday thing. I guess when.
- [23:29]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
When you. When you say you didn't have the energy, you were hoping she would figure it out. What was there to. What was to figure out that she needed from you?
- [23:38]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
I was trying to figure out why she was stressed. She was telling me she didn't know, but she, like, wanted me to help. So I was saying, how can I help you? And she was saying, I don't know. So then I just was kind of, like, going back to bed. And then we had talked about it later because she was just, like, kind of in a bad mood after that, and she was saying it's like, because I couldn't, like, figure out why she was stressed and, like, help her not be stressed. So I think she wanted me to solve it for her, basically. But I don't know. That's where I'm like, I don't know what's. What's going on. Maybe I'm being weird.
- [24:24]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
No. I have multiple thoughts about this.
- [24:26]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Okay.
- [24:27]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Okay, tell me, how long you been with this lady?
- [24:31]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
We've been together for, like, a year and two months.
- [24:34]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Okay. Has anything like this happened before or has she ever complained about anything like this before?
- [24:39]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Yeah, like, quite a lot, actually. It's happened.
- [24:42]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Okay.
- [24:42]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Many, many times.
- [24:44]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
It has. And what. Give me, like, the last time it happened, give me, like, the recurring situation. What does that look like?
- [24:52]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
So I guess last night, like, she comes home from work, she had a rough day. Like, just the person she was working with was, like, in a really bad mood. So she came home and was like, I had a really tough day at work. So I am like, okay. Like, I'm totally down to, like, help you feel better or just, like, be here with you sad. And it was, like, working last night, like, she felt better and, like, everything was cool. But I think a lot of the time, maybe if she has, like, a bad day or whatever, I will, like, try to come in and be there. But if, like, I'm not able to make her feel better, it's like she gets mad with me. So it's like. It's almost like, I guess to me, I don't know if it's actually what's going on. Like, I might be having some weird thought process about it, but it feels like her whatever is going on in her day just kind of, like, translates into, like, that I have done something wrong and she's upset.
- [25:56]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. It's. You know, here's the thing. It's hard to assess. Yeah. So I have so many thoughts about this, actually, because it's hard to assess this without, like, having been in the situation. But I think multiple things. I think, like, on your end, right? Like, well, I'll talk about your end first. I'll talk about her end. So on your.
- [26:21]
Ryan Reynolds (Mint Mobile Advertisement)
Okay.
- [26:21]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Because your. Because your end is more important. Because your end is, like, what you can control. Right? So on your end, it's like, if your girlfriend's having a bad day, you. The whole, like, how can I help you? And she says, I don't know. Obviously you can't be a mind reader, but really, all you have to do is, like, all she wants from you in that moment is just, like, your presence.
- [26:48]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Yeah, there is.
- [26:49]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
There's no specific thing. I mean, there's. Sure, there's specific things you can do to show your presence, but all she want. And. And you said. The way you said.
- [26:59]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Yeah.
- [26:59]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Just now, it's like, you're not stupid. You know this. She just wants your presence. Right? She wants your. Your. She wants your attention. She wants your presence. And life's hard. Sometimes you. You don't have it. Sometimes you don't have that presence in you. Sometimes you reach into your brain, and it's fucking insufficient funds, and that sucks. I've been a billion situations, you know, personal and professional, where, you know, my presence was required, and it just was. I just had insufficient funds for that presence in my brain, and that sucks. But, you know, I think it's. It's. What you want to do is just try to. Again, you're not stupid. You know, this, that. That all she wants is your presence. Right? So I'm sure you tried as hard as you can to give her that presence. So. But then on her side, and it's. I, you know, I'm not talking to her, I'm talking to you. But on her side, it's like, you got to communicate, and you can't just, like, go A to B. You really can't just, like, it's not fair for her to take out her stress on you. Like, you're trying to help, as far as I know. You know, I don't know what the situation is. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what it looks like, but you sound like a nice guy. You sound like you care about this lady. You sound like you're trying to give her your best presence. And in that moment, it's like, it's. She can't just take out her stress on you because, like, you're trying to fight. You're trying to help her. As far as I know, you're trying to help her. You're trying to be there for sure, man.
- [28:25]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Like, for sure.
- [28:26]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
I just want to, like, be a good boyfriend. Be there for. Yeah.
- [28:30]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
And so it sucks that she's, like, taking out on you. It's like, why are you taking on me? I'm trying to help you. So. Yeah. I mean, what. When you bring this up to her, like, what does she say? How do these conversations go?
- [28:47]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Like, when I bring up the dynamic or.
- [28:51]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Yeah, when you bring up the dynamic. And when you're like, well, you're, you know.
- [28:56]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Well, honestly, man, I think she's really great at coming back, and I can tell she's really reflected, and she'll come back like, hey, I'm really sorry about my reaction. I really want to work on, you know, how I react when I'm stressed and how I deal with my stress. It's not fair to put it on you, I guess. I guess it's just, like, recurred. I feel like kind of the whole time we've been together. So now I'm at the point where I'm like, maybe we need to change our strategy. And the, like, talking about it isn't what's helping.
- [29:31]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Interesting. What do you. When you say you want to change the strategy, what is. What do you mean by that?
- [29:37]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
I guess it feels more like you can. You can only do so much talking with somebody. But I think what changes things is actually acting differently. So I guess it just feels maybe like a mismatch in expectations. Like, she just expects are going to act a certain way. And, like, as much as I want to try to act in that way, I just, like, can't do it exactly how she's expecting.
- [30:09]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Yeah.
- [30:09]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
So that's where I'm like, do I just keep trying to, like, change it slightly or do I have to, like. I. I just really want things to work with her. And I know the other option is just to, like, be like, I'll find somebody else, but I care about this person. And I just. I guess I just don't want to keep doing the same thing if it's not working.
- [30:34]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
I'm not an expert, but, you know, it's. I've been in little situations that remind me of this, and
- [30:44]
Duracell Advertisement Voice
it
- [30:49]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
my, you know, my, my gut thing that I would, that I might, my gut feeling that I have about a situation like this is that, like, you know, you've tried to, like, over the years to like, talk it through, communicate yourself. She over and over, she said, and, you know, you've tried to do what's best on your end. We already talked about your end, which is like being present and shit. And then on her end, it's like she's trying to not take out her stress on you, and she's told you that she's trying to not take her stress out on you. And, and then she'll get upset, and then she'll come back and be like, I'm sorry I got upset. And then you'll, you know, you'll kind of break and, and reconvene and break and reconvene. But, but you're not notice. But, but what I'm hearing is you're not noticing over time that the issue is, is improving, but that it's just stagnant. So, so this is one of those situations where if you feel like something is, it's probably likely. I mean, if you feel like something's not getting better, there does come a point where, like, you, I think you should always keep trying. You should always keep letting yourself be known. But there kind of comes a point where you have to, like, look at a person and, and, and be like, you know what? This is not gonna improve. Or not. Not that, let's say this, not necessarily that this is not going to improve, but that in order to continue, you have to accept a reality where it does not improve. You know what I mean? Not, not say, oh, oh, this is never going to change. This person's never going to change, but accept the fact that they totally might never change. And if you really love this person, if you feel really compatible with this person, if you really like this relationship to move forward, there does have to be some form of acceptance where you're like, you know, I'm willing to, like, okay, I'm willing to stay, but staying involves accepting that this thing is gonna, may not ever fucking change and that everything else around it is so is good enough that I'm okay with this, or you leave, but you sound like you want to work it out.
- [33:22]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Yeah, for sure. No, I, I, I totally get what you're saying. Yeah. At some point you do just have to accept somebody how they are and like, they're showing you how they're gonna be. And I do think after a certain point, you can maybe, like, hope for change as much as you want, but it is. I think it does add more frustration where there doesn't need to be. I think, like, trying to change somebody else really doesn't work ever. So.
- [33:53]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
I don't know.
- [33:54]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
I see what you're saying, man.
- [33:55]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
For sure, yeah, it doesn't work. But there's also. Yeah, I mean, everything I said is that it doesn't work, but you should also. You should. But you should keep letting yourself be known and, like, keep communicating. It gets exhausting. But yeah, it's like the reality, it gets exhausted. But the reality is, like, when someone kind of shows you that they're not going to change over a long period of time, they're basically telling you, like, you know, hey, take it or take it or leave it. And by the way, like. And by the way, man, you know, on your end, it's like, what the fuck? There's probably a lot of things where it's like, she has to look at you and accept that you're not going to change.
- [34:39]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Sure, I know.
- [34:41]
Advertisement Voice
You know, that's.
- [34:42]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
I just.
- [34:42]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Yeah, it's tough, man.
- [34:45]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Sorry, what?
- [34:46]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
I said, yeah, it's tough, man.
- [34:49]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Yeah, I just, I. Every time I've gotten in a relationship, it just feels like I'm immediately sort of burdened with, like, you have to now choose if you're gonna stay or leave. Whereas, like, if you're simply don't have that decision. And like, I want to be with one person going forward in my life, but I guess just like, that pressure of, like, are you going to stay, you're going to go? Is just, like, so hard to deal with because I also just want to focus on my own life and, like, the shit I got going on outside of a relationship. So I don't think thinking about a
- [35:25]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
relationship all the time is, like, beneficial,
- [35:29]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
but, like, I'd like to be in one, you know, I'm not.
- [35:33]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Listen, I'll be on. I'm not like, a relationship expert. There is a part of me, but there. Because there's another part of me that believes let, like, you know, the right relationship. I don't know if. I don't know. The more I get into things, I don't know if there is like a such a binary of right and wrong relationship, but there is a part of. There's a philosophy for me that goes like, you know, if you're in the right relationship, then you're not always thinking if you should stay or if you should leave, Right?
- [36:03]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
Yeah.
- [36:03]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Maybe it's just like Kind of working out. I don't know, man.
- [36:09]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
There's a big part of me that feels that way, too, that if you're in. There is a big part of me that does feel like, in terms of, like, chasing your alignment in your life, that, like, the things that you're. Because I, I, I. I audit my life a lot, and I think, like, what am I, what am I, like, sure of? Like, there's certain aspects of my life, certain people in my life, certain things where I'm, like. I'm a hundred percent sure about that. I don't waste time thinking about that. And there's tons of things in my life where I'm like. I'm like. That takes up a lot of my time thinking, should I or shouldn't I? And there's a part of. And I don't want to. I'd be a hypocrite if I told you that I'm really good at always going with this guttural response. But there's a part of me that feels like, if you have to go, oh, should I or shouldn't I? Then it is a sign of, of, of misalignment. But I don't have the wisdom yet to say if, if I believe that's to be true.
- [37:11]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Yeah, I think everybody kind of struggles with that, like, forever, pretty much. I don't know if you can really answer that question.
- [37:21]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
I don't know. I want to do the science on it. I, I keep thinking I'm like, I should take, like, in my life audits. I'm like, I should. I want to live a life where I'm, like, a full body, yes to everything. But I don't know if that's a fantasy, you know?
- [37:36]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Yeah.
- [37:36]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Yeah.
- [37:37]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
I think I just want to feel excited about the decisions I'm making.
- [37:41]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
You know? I want to wake up every day kind of being like, maybe everything's not
- [37:45]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
perfect, but I'm excited about the choices I'm making and, like, the possibility of
- [37:50]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
the choices I get to make today.
- [37:52]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
But I don't know if that's, like, realistic. Like, I feel like a lot of days I wake up and I'm like, I just kind of have to do what I have to do. But I don't know if that's, like, the way to live life, you know?
- [38:05]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Well, I hope you figure it out, man.
- [38:09]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Thank you.
- [38:10]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Thank you. Sorry if I was getting too introspective. I'm sorry.
- [38:15]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
I mean, that's what this whole stupid. I think that's what the whole thing is. Maybe Maybe it's not what the whole thing is, but no, I don't think you've. I don't think you've gotten too introspective. This is a. This has nothing to do with anything. But have you ever had the new. This is not an ad. This is just. I'm just thinking about this right now. It has nothing to do with anything we talked about. It's not an ad. But like, have you ever had the. Dude, I just had the popped caramel M M's. Have you ever had those?
- [38:50]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
I've had the Pop Skittles and they're.
- [38:52]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
You've had the Pop Skittles. Okay. The Pop Skittles. Okay. So I so did. Freeze dried candy is a huge thing all over the place now.
- [39:01]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Yeah.
- [39:01]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
I keep seeing it everywhere and I've never. I've only seen it with fruity candies. This M M's shit, it's the only time I've seen it with like a chocolatey candy. It's.
- [39:10]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Yeah.
- [39:11]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Up there with. It might be one of the best candies I've ever had in my life.
- [39:16]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
It's really serious.
- [39:17]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Like, what is so good about it?
- [39:19]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Like, first of all, it, like what. This is not an ad. I'm just thinking about the like. So like one caramel M M. It's so dense. Right. When you kind of eat it and it's gone. But when they pop it, the density is, is bigger. So it feels like you're getting more out of the same amount of the thing because it's like it's all popped and stuff. And then it. The, the texture is a lot more. Is like crunchy and still caramelly.
- [39:51]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
You know, Is it more intensity or
- [39:55]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
like you get a longer lasting experience?
- [39:59]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
You get a longer lasting experience. Yeah, because I could. Yeah, you get a longer lasting. You get more out of less. I would say. I think a bag of popped caramel M M's will last me longer than just a bag of like the regular ones. They're better. I'll say this, they're better than. You've never had caramel. That's not. That's not. Have you ever had M M's?
- [40:21]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Yeah, but I feel like I've only seen the peanut butter M M's. I don't know if I've ever even seen a bag of caramel M and Ms. In my life.
- [40:30]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
They only have the popped version of the caramel ones. That's the only Eminem that they've popped. But I am open to them popping more. I don't know what the science is behind freeze drying shit and popping shit. I don't know if I can buy a freeze dryer off of Amazon. Let me know. I can. I. I'm going to. If I can buy a freeze dryer, I'm going to.
- [40:47]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Sure.
- [40:48]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
I feel like you can for sure. Like, what would be the first thing
- [40:50]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
that you had freeze dried up?
- [40:52]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Oh, I would pop Nerds. Gummy clusters. I was gonna say that I popped, but I don't think, I don't think the texture of them is conducive to popping and freeze drying.
- [41:02]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
I feel like if you can pop a Skittle and a caramel M and M, that's such a wide range of ingredients that I feel like you could pop anything. Like, I'm no candy genius, but I'm just thinking,
- [41:26]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
What's your name again?
- [41:28]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Jackson.
- [41:30]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Jackson. I hope you figure out all that stuff with your girlfriend too.
- [41:34]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Thank you very much. I appreciate that.
- [41:36]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
- [41:41]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
I love the podcast. Listen to a lot of thanks and yeah, thanks for chatting with me.
- [41:48]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Beautiful deck. Bless, man. Thank you very much for calling and sharing.
- [41:52]
Advertisement Voice
Good luck.
- [41:53]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Okay, have a good one, man.
- [41:57]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
I hope our caller figures it out. I'm curious in the comments what people think about his, his dilemma because I, I'm. Yeah, we've been talking a lot about relationships on the podcast for a bit. And I mean, with all things in life, it's like, yeah, everyone's trying to chase like alignment, you know, And I don't know, I don't think perfect alignment. Part of me thinks perfect alignment in life is like a myth, you know, but it could be possible. Maybe it's just me being me.
- [42:28]
Advertisement Voice
This July 4th, come celebrate at America's Block Party hosted by America 250. America's Block Party is a can't miss 4th of July concert happening at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Experience music, performances from major artists, patriotic tributes, and the kickoff to giving 4th helping to make July 4th the largest day of giving in American history. It's more than just fireworks. Learn more about this landmark celebration@america250.org
- [42:57]
Duracell Advertisement Voice
did you know not all batteries are the same? For example, only Duracell batteries are built different with power boost ingredients. And Duracell are the only batteries that make this sound. Every time you say power boost, Ingr see Duracell batteries with power boost ingredients. You try Duracell batteries and powerboost ingredients.
- [43:17]
Advertisement Voice
Told ya.
- [43:18]
Duracell Advertisement Voice
Duracell batteries are built different with power Boost ingredients and they're built right here in the USA with US and global parts.
- [43:27]
Ryan Reynolds (Mint Mobile Advertisement)
Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to do@mintmobile.com
- [43:45]
Advertisement Voice
Switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full terms@mintmobile.com
- [44:00]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
hello?
- [44:01]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Hello, is this Zeus?
- [44:05]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Is this the gecko?
- [44:07]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Yes, this is the Gecko and this is Zeus, dude.
- [44:11]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Hell yeah, I am Zeus. You are the Geck Zeus.
- [44:15]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
You texted me and you said, you said that you are a caver and you go deep into underground caves for fun.
- [44:28]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
I do, I do do those things.
- [44:32]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Now that is one of those things that I think is insane.
- [44:38]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
You know, as I've been doing it over the years, I also think it's insane.
- [44:44]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
I mean, you've seen that photo of that fucking. You know, I don't even. The guy, what's his name? You know the photo I'm talking about?
- [44:52]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Yeah, I forget his name. That was Nutty Putty Cave.
- [44:54]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
That was a nutty, Nutty Putty Cave. You've seen that photo, right? So you tell me you see that photo and you're still like, all right, I'm down to risk that shit.
- [45:02]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Well, I, I personally don't go head first down holes. That's just a personal preference of mine.
- [45:10]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
But that's what caving, like the cave, like that's what caving is, right? It's going into unexplored caves and around and trying not to get stuck. Stuck, right.
- [45:24]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Yeah, certain parts of it for sure. Yeah. You definitely don't want to get stuck or have a rock fall on you that kind of pins you into place. But those are not good things.
- [45:35]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
So what is the process of the kind of caving that you do?
- [45:39]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Well, a lot of people when, when they think of caving, they think of like, what you're thinking of is just going into really tight spaces and stuff. But like, there's a whole plethora of caves across the country where, you know, you may be walking the entire time, you may be swimming, you may bring a boat, you may be doing a mix of all of those things. You may, you may be Going into really confined spaces with water. You know, it's kind of a broad spectrum of what you can do underground. You can even do rope access and do the SRT and ride ropes down huge pits.
- [46:16]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
But do you ever get freaked out that you're gonna die like all the other people that do that died?
- [46:21]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
I never felt that way. I've never felt like I was gonna die in a cave. But you've always got the possibility of like a loose rock falling on you. Especially if there's a slope into a pit and you're on ropes, your rope could adjust and a rock could fall on you. And that to me that's one of the most dangerous hazards that I face. Rockfall.
- [46:45]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
What is the coolest cave that you've seen?
- [46:51]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
I'm not going to say the name
- [46:52]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
of it, but there's this epic cave
- [46:54]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
in Tennessee where you tell approximately.
- [46:59]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Wait, why would you say the name? Why would you say the name? You want to docks the cave. Is it a private cave?
- [47:05]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Exactly. It's on private property. You don't want to, you don't want to harass private property owners. And you also don't want to increase traffic because caving is kind of a conservation minded thing, you know, like it's leave no trace. You leave nothing but footprints and take nothing but pictures. So if you increase traffic to the cave then it just gets torn apart basically. And if the public knew about it then they're going to want to go in there and not know what they're getting into and spray paint and leave trash and stuff.
- [47:34]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Okay, tell me about this cave.
- [47:37]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Okay. Yeah, it's like a 260 foot waterfall repel. You cave for about two hours and it's mostly walking stream passage. You're up to your waist, your chest in water most of the way. And then it breaks through this layer of limestone and drops 260ft and you're about 15ft away from this raging waterfall. And when I did it, my buddy had one of those massive like diving lights and that can light up a whole massive room. And so I went over the lip of this pit and the whole waterfall was lit up. And it was just the most incredible thing I've ever seen. And that ride down and climb up was one of the coolest experiences I've ever had. I love that.
- [48:18]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
And, and you just like broke into this guy's house and went into his cave. Like this is where. How'd you find this cave?
- [48:27]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
We had permission, we had talked to him prior and he gave us a day and A time to, to show up and go visit his cave. It's a very massive cave. We only.
- [48:37]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Sorry, how'd you know that he has a cave?
- [48:43]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Through the grottoes in the local area, you can get property access through people in the grotto. Grottos are caving clubs that are mainly across the southeast, but they're all over the country. They're. They're just caving clubs where people who like crawling around in caves can meet other cavers and go explore.
- [49:00]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
How does it feel when you're in the cave?
- [49:04]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
To me, it feels peaceful. It's, you know, there's no cell service. It's. It's dark, it's quiet. It's kind of relaxing. You just dress a little warm and you dress for your environment and try to prepare because there's no help for you down there if something happens. You know, I find peace in it. That's how I feel.
- [49:29]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
What's the scariest thing you've encountered in one of the caves?
- [49:34]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Ooh, good question.
- [49:36]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
I've had rocks fall on me a couple of times. Nothing major, mostly just little pebbles and stuff, like maybe about the size of my fist. I had one hit me in the thigh pretty bad and left a big bruise. I think what scares me the most and what I think about the most is when you get on ropes and we're all, we're all down there for fun. We're all trying to have a good time and we're all hobbyists and a lot of people don't really have extremely good vertical skills and that's okay. But it's scary when something happens and they potentially become stuck on rope or can enter an uncontrolled rappel on rope. So there are ways to mitigate that. But I think, I think that's the scariest thing to me is not necessarily knowing the skills of my partners doing the activity.
- [50:29]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Okay. So it's not being able to have
- [50:30]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
a crew that you trust sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. Most of the time I cave with some very experienced cavers and we all know what we're doing. And even then, things can still happen for sure.
- [50:42]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
How about creatures? You see any crazy creatures?
- [50:45]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Critters. Oh, yeah, Cave. Thousands of bats. They're really cool environments because a lot of the creatures in the cave are cave adapted, so they only live down there. So tons of salamanders. In my area, Tennessee, we have this salamander called the Tennessee Cave Salamander. And it's, it's only a very small area that they, they live in, but they're really cool. And they're aquatic, they swim around. They have these huge red gills, kind of like an axolotl. Yeah. Tons of crayfish. Like cave adapted crayfish. There's cave fish that are white. The crayfish are also white. A bunch of different bats. I'm always scared that I'm gonna turn around a corner and see like a horny female Bigfoot that's gonna kidnap me. That's always been my, my big fear underground.
- [51:32]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
A lot of people, that's their fantasy.
- [51:35]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Well, it's not my fantasy. That's a fear of mine.
- [51:39]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
So what do you do outside of caving?
- [51:43]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Outside of caving? I do a lot of fishing, hiking. I work in rope access and work on wind turbines, repair the blades on them. We repel off those giant death machines,
- [51:58]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
wind turbines. So you're just constantly around things that can kill you?
- [52:05]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
I'm more scared of the wind turbines than I am of the caves, to be fair.
- [52:10]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Right, right, right.
- [52:13]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Literally.
- [52:15]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Sorry, go ahead.
- [52:16]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
No, you go ahead.
- [52:18]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
A wind turbine is literally a giant machine that is designed to kill you. We say that in safety meetings all the time. And keep it in the back of your head at all times. You're around a bunch of moving parts and they're, you know, they're, they're generators, they're electrical machines. So you've got to be very cautious with how you approach and treat those, those things.
- [52:38]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
You think more people have gotten killed by wind turbines or by caves?
- [52:43]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Ooh, another good question. I don't have an answer for you. A lot of people have died in caves. There have been several people that have died on one tournament. I would say probably cave, but I don't have a factual answer to tell you. That's my, my opinion. If I had to guess Zeus before
- [53:02]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
we go, give me, give me the dream cave. Where's the cave where you're like. I've always wanted to look in and see what's inside of this particular cave, the dream cave.
- [53:13]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
I think a good multi drop cave. So it's like you repel in and you do some horizontal caving and it goes the, the trip is down. And we'll also do a, let's make it a pull down cave to where when you go into the cave and you rappel down to your first level, you pull the rope down behind you. And once you do that, you're committed to going to the bottom. So there is going to be a second entrance, at least one. And it's going to be beautiful through the whole way. Lots of Formations, lots of critters, lots of like salamanders and cave adapted life through the passages and water. Water. Caves are a lot of fun when you're, when you're repelling next to a waterfall and crawling through water or even walking or wading through it. I think that's my perfect mix of caves.
- [54:08]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Wait, I guess I'm looking for a specific cave like a white wolf, a white whale cave where you're like I want to go to the, you know, deep in China or wherever. Like is there a specific cave that you want to go see?
- [54:21]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
A specific cave?
- [54:22]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Probably lechugia. It's been closed to cavers for a long time. If you're not a researcher, let you gear.
- [54:29]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
How does one be if you're not a researcher? But aren't you? I mean you're a researcher.
- [54:33]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
You're.
- [54:34]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
What's it really take to be. If you're going into the cave to look at shit that's researching. Right. You don't need a piece of paper to say you're researching.
- [54:44]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Yeah.
- [54:44]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
So like I, I do map caves. I, I, I make my own maps and publish them through a caving club. But like they're looking for more people who have like, who can study animals like cave adapted life or study the geology or study like why this cave the way it is? Why is this cave the way it is? You know, like so like the average caver doesn't typically get permission to go visit the bottom of Lechuguilla and see all the cool stuff.
- [55:13]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Why is this cave the way it is? It's profound.
- [55:17]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Good question.
- [55:18]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
I think that all the time.
- [55:23]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Zeus, Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
- [55:30]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
I love you gek.
- [55:32]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Thank you Zeus. I, I wish you good tiding. I'm gonna manifest that you have good cave experiences for the rest of your life.
- [55:43]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Thank you Geck. I'll try to stay safe.
- [55:45]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
See you Goo. See you Zeus. Zeus.
- [55:48]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
See you gek.
- [55:49]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Zeus. See you Zeus.
- [55:52]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
See ya.
- [55:55]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Man, I hope that guy does okay in the caves, man. I don't fuck around in caves man. But I guess someone has to. I guess someone's got to see what's going on in those caves. We thank Zeus for being that someone.
- [56:10]
Advertisement Voice
This July 4th come celebrate at America's Block Party. Hosted by America 250America's Block Party is a can't miss 4th of July concert happening at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Experience music, performances from major artists, patriotic tributes and the kickoff to giving 4th helping to make July 4th the largest day of giving in American history. It's more than just fireworks. Learn more about this landmark celebration@america250.org
- [56:40]
Duracell Advertisement Voice
did you know not all batteries are the same? For example, only Duracell batteries are built different with Power Boost ingredients. And Duracell are the only batteries that make this sound every time you say Power Boost ingredients. See duracell batteries with PowerBoost ingredients. You try.
- [57:00]
Advertisement Voice
Told ya.
- [57:00]
Duracell Advertisement Voice
Duracell batteries are built different with Power Boost ingredients. And they're built right here in the USA with US and global parts.
- [57:09]
Ryan Reynolds (Mint Mobile Advertisement)
Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to do@mintmobile.com
- [57:27]
Advertisement Voice
Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan, equivalent to 15 per month required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full terms@mintmobile.com Alexia.
- [57:43]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Hello.
- [57:44]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
Oh my God.
- [57:44]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Hello.
- [57:45]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Hi. What's your name?
- [57:47]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
My name is Alexia.
- [57:49]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
What's up, Alexia? How's life?
- [57:51]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
Life is good. I'm standing in the middle of the forest right now.
- [57:56]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
You're standing in the middle of the forest?
- [57:58]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
Yeah.
- [57:59]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
What are you doing in the middle of the forest?
- [58:01]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
I'm actually at work. I do field botany. So I'm like IDing plants and measuring trees and shit.
- [58:06]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Oh, cool. How, how tall was the last tree that you measured?
- [58:10]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
Well, we measure the diameter, so I don't know, is maybe like a diameter of 25.
- [58:17]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
A diameter of 25?
- [58:20]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
Yeah. I mean, like sometimes we measure the height, but we're usually doing width for it. Yeah.
- [58:27]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Do you think trees are important people?
- [58:30]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
I do think trees are important to people, seeing as we can't really like breathe without oxygen.
- [58:37]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
That's true. I was gonna ask why you think trees are important, but that's good. But this, this doesn't make sense. The whole. But the whole thing of trees providing oxygen. I mean, I'm in a city and there's like two trees in the whole city and everyone's breathing fine, you know, does that, how's that work?
- [58:58]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
Well, I think the idea is that like all the trees on the planet like disperse the oxygen because there is something like. I don't know, this is like totally made up. Maybe, but like the Amazon rainforest provides like some big Percent of oxygen for the whole planet. So I don't know. I think it just spreads around.
- [59:19]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Alexia, was there a particular thing that you wanted to talk about today?
- [59:25]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
No. I mean, I just saw that you posted on your Instagram. I probably have had like a thousand things that I've wanted to say in the past, but no, I'm just chilling right now.
- [59:39]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
How long do you have until. How long do you. How long do you have until you have to get off the phone and go do tree stuff?
- [59:48]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Well,
- [59:50]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
it's lunch now, so my timeline is pretty free. I think we have like a cool schedule. So we just kind of come out here and like frolic around for a while and then go back to the office.
- [60:01]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
So it's chill.
- [60:03]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Is there? So, okay, so you have like an actual office that you work out of too? It's not just.
- [60:09]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
Yeah.
- [60:09]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Your office is the forest.
- [60:12]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
No. Yeah, it's like fun.
- [60:13]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
We do.
- [60:14]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
So we do like, like forest assessments for like military land. Like soldiers come out here and train and then we come through and see like how bad they messed it up or like how like if they can go back to the spot. I'm not totally sure. I just take all the data for it. My boss does whatever else with it
- [60:35]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
and do you ever see any cool animals while you're doing it?
- [60:40]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
Oh, yeah, we see. So I'm. I'm in Alaska and it's actually interesting because I've heard recently that you've had a lot of callers in Alaska, but you don't. They don't seem to be interior. I live in Fairbanks in the interior.
- [60:55]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
What does that mean? Interior? Exterior.
- [60:57]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
So like the exterior is anywhere like around the coast or like, I don't know, maybe like 100 miles in from the coast. And then the interior is maybe like there's like a mountain range that borders the coast. And I think the interior is considered inside the mountain range. So I'm in like. I'm in like central eastern Alaska.
- [61:24]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
I want to go. I'm going to Alaska. I have a show there in October. I'm going to probably do some.
- [61:29]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
I know I'm literally signed up for the. I'm signed up for the thing. Hell yeah.
- [61:34]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Hell, yeah.
- [61:36]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
Yeah. You know the thing. What should I.
- [61:40]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Do you have any. Oh, go ahead, Go ahead.
- [61:43]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Oh, sorry. Yeah.
- [61:44]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
Well, everyone from Fairbanks has to go to Anchorage for like, events and stuff. And it's like six hour drive. So I'm pretty stoked for that. It's going to be fun. I think if you get the chance, you should Come to Fairbanks. Although it's October, so there's probably not a lot happening.
- [62:00]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
I. You know, I. To me, when people say, like, oh, there's not a lot happening because it's, you know, X month. I never. I never like when people say that because it's like, you know, listen, there some. The main attractions of any place to me are like, you know, just some fucking guy walking around, you know, and everywhere, you know, I'm. Whatever the weather, whatever the time, everywhere in the world, there's always just, you know, some fucking guy walking around eating something, and I want to talk to that guy. So I don't, like, I don't always. People do this thing about the weather where it's like, why would you go there in that weather? And it's like, well, I don't know. It's not. Why do I just. The idea that, like, you always have to travel to a place when the weather is perfect. I. I resent that.
- [62:50]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
No, I mean, you're totally right, honestly. And you know what? There are so many, like, crazy people here that I think that you'd have a great time if you got to talk to some people on the street.
- [63:00]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Yeah. People keep telling me that about Alaska, that there's.
- [63:03]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
Yeah, because it's.
- [63:04]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
It's either. Oh, it's either always really dark or really sunny, Right?
- [63:08]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
Yeah.
- [63:09]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
Like, right now we have like 20. Well, it's almost 24 hours of daylight. Solstice is next.
- [63:15]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Oh, really?
- [63:17]
Advertisement Voice
Really?
- [63:17]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Yeah.
- [63:17]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
Like, it's really hard to go to bed at night because it's just like, sunshine out all the time.
- [63:25]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Whoa.
- [63:26]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Okay. I know I just made that whole stink about the weather thing, but I would like to see that. That sounds very.
- [63:30]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
No, yeah, yeah. That's like, the highlight is like, we, We. We Alaskans, we really like to tell people to come up here during the summer so they can get to see the. The midnight sun. It's really cool.
- [63:43]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
But, you know, winter is really cool too.
- [63:46]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
It is. Yeah. I will would recommend 10 out of 10 in October.
- [63:50]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Is it fully dark?
- [63:53]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
So October, it's like, so like the solstice and the summer is June 20, and then the equinox is December 25 or something. So that's like the lightest and then the darkest day of the year. So October is like, kind of in between. I feel like October would be like a typical daylight cycle for, like, in the lower 48.
- [64:15]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Alexia.
- [64:17]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
Yeah.
- [64:17]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Is there anything you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
- [64:21]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
I would like to say thanks for picking up and peace and love.
- [64:27]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Thank you Alexia. Have a good rest of your entire life.
- [64:30]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
Thank you.
- [64:51]
Advertisement Voice
This July 4th, come celebrate at America's Block Party hosted by America 250. America's Block Party is a can't miss 4th of July concert happening at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Experience music, performances from major artists, patriotic tributes and the kickoff to giving 4th, helping to make July 4th the largest day of giving in American history. It's more than just fireworks. Learn more about this landmark celebration@america250.org
- [65:22]
Alexia (Field Botanist Caller)
hey
- [65:22]
Advertisement Voice
everyone, it's Cal Penn. I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast, Hearsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Every episode I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible. It's the book club for your ears. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [65:51]
Paramount plus is now the home of all your BET favorites.
- [65:54]
Sydney (Female Truck Driver Caller)
What?
- [65:55]
Advertisement Voice
Yes.
- [65:55]
With all new episodes of Tyler Perry's Divorce, sisters you've always liked, a little drama, plus a whole new world of movies like Gladiator 2.
- [66:03]
Therapy Gecko (Host)
Now I will control an empire.
- [66:05]
Advertisement Voice
Original series like the Shy.
- [66:07]
Zeus (Caver Caller)
Just make sure we protect each other.
- [66:09]
Advertisement Voice
And live sports like ufc.
- [66:11]
Jackson (Caller with Relationship Issues)
Welcome to the history books.
- [66:14]
Advertisement Voice
New home, same family. Your BET favorites are now on Paramount. Subscribe Now.
- [66:21]
Running a business shouldn't feel like surviving a software group project. One app for accounting, another for inventory, another for sales, and somehow none of them talk to each other. That's where odoo comes in. An all in one business management software that brings every part of your business together, from sales and accounting to inventory and marketing, all in one powerful platform. No messy integrations, no bouncing between tabs, and best of all, no spreadsheets. Stop managing software and start managing your business with one unified system. Try for free today at odoo.com iheartradio that's O-O-O-O.com iheartradio this is an iheart podcast.
- [67:06]
Guaranteed human.