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- [00:00]
Lyle
This is an Iheart podcast. Guaranteed human. This July 4th at Lowe's get up to 45% off select major appliances. Plus save $80 on the select Char broil performance series gas Grill.
- [00:15]
Mal
Now $299.
- [00:17]
Lyle
Our best lineup is here at Lowe's. Lowe's. We help you Save valid through 7, 8, while supplies last selection varies by location. See Lowes.com for more details.
- [00:29]
Apple/Mac Advertiser
Visit your nearby Lowe's. Getting to a great idea is hard in college. Nonsensical essays, cringe inducing presentations, and seemingly unsolvable problem sets. But then the first thought becomes a final thesis. Jumbled slides transform into a polished keynote. And that midterm assignment gets a lot less mid. Because the road to great ideas is littered with bad ones. You just have to keep going until something clicks. Great ideas start on Mac. Find out more on apple.com
- [01:06]
Kal Penn
hey everyone, it's Kel Penn. I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast, Hearsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Every episode, I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible. It's the book club for your ears. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [01:38]
Mal
Hello?
- [01:39]
Lyle
Hey, what's up, man?
- [01:40]
Joe
Hello, Lyle.
- [01:42]
Lyle
What's your name?
- [01:43]
Joe
My name. My name. What's my name?
- [01:48]
Lyle
Your name is. I'm gonna give you. I'll give you. Your name is. I'm gonna call you Joe.
- [01:52]
Joe
Joe. That sounds good. Joe.
- [01:54]
Lyle
Joe. Joe. Well, you texted me some stuff, but before we do that, how you doing? How's. How you doing?
- [02:03]
Joe
Pretty good. Just laying in bed, a little nervous. How's it going, Lyle?
- [02:08]
Lyle
Nervous. Don't be nervous, man. How's it going with me? It's going okay. You know, we're another. Another. Another day on this earth is pretty good.
- [02:19]
Mal
Another day.
- [02:20]
Lyle
I think it's raining. I think it's about to storm.
- [02:24]
Joe
Oh, yes. Yeah, I'm just laying in bed. I work tonight and then got tomorrow night off. Tomorrow's fourth of July.
- [02:34]
Lyle
So you texted me, okay, you texted me four months ago and you said, you said, I am in my absolute hoe era. I am addicted. And then you said, I'm addicted to Facebook dating. And then. So that was four months ago. And then two days ago you texted me and you said, I think I'm done being a all caps whore.
- [03:03]
Mal
Yes.
- [03:05]
Joe
So, yeah, I mean, that's kind of my thing right now. It's just like. Well, four months ago was four months ago. And I'm like, then I was experimenting with, you know, just people getting to know people, being a hoe, you know, just kind of. Kind of getting that out of my system. And for the very first time, because I got out of a relationship that was pretty treacherous. And since then, I've kind of been.
- [03:38]
Mal
I've been.
- [03:39]
Joe
I've been chatting with this person, you know, I've been connecting with someone, but it's just kind of. It's a little complicated because this person is. Is a. I think she is marking off the boxes. Right. But there are things that make me very apprehensive. Like there is this distance between us, which reminds me of my ex, because we were long distance as well. So I'm like, I don't want to really do that again. But. So, like, all you.
- [04:13]
Lyle
What.
- [04:14]
Ray Porter
What.
- [04:14]
Lyle
What is the hoe era like for the. When you say you have been addicted to Facebook dating, what is. What is these past four months looked like exactly?
- [04:24]
Joe
Well, yeah, I mean, I broke up with. Well, my ex broke up with me earlier. Well, end of last year. So then that kind of prompted the hoe era because, you know, I was. I left that relationship very insecure about just kind of like my sexual experiences with people, my casual experiences with people. I didn't really have that whole experience, right. So then I was like, okay, let's try to sleep with as many people can, like, to get that out of my system, you know, and. Which prompted me to going to a certain place in this is. Let's just say there's this sort of. How do I explain this? Oh, my God, it's so weird. It's weird.
- [05:12]
Mal
I'm talking to you.
- [05:13]
Joe
But there's this place in this place where you can. It's essentially a brothel. And, you know, it's like a strip club slash brothel place. And I went there, right? I'm like, okay, I'm free now. Let's go do this sexual experience thing. And so I went to this place, I think, even. Yeah. Four months ago. That's when I text you that. And it was like the greatest experience ever.
- [05:37]
Lyle
Oh, really?
- [05:37]
Joe
I mean, it was. Yeah, it was. It was an incredible experience, right? I mean, you can.
- [05:43]
Mal
It's.
- [05:44]
Joe
I remember mentioning. I think it texted you, like, I have something about being in, like, just engulfed with pleasure. Because that place is just like, totally. There's beautiful women. You can drink in there, you can smoke in there. It's 24 7. It's just like. It's It's. It's incredible, right? And so fast forward, you know, I've had some casual experiences outside of that place since then, and I've kind of felt myself sort of like, okay, we should slow this down. Maybe we should try to connect with someone. Fast forward. I went to the same place, same club, um, and, you know, I rave about this place to my friends. I'm like, this place is the greatest place ever. There's beautiful women. You can. You get to know them, you can sleep with them. It's just. It's a very transactional, but also, like, it's a great experience, in my opinion. And so I went to this place again, and I just felt myself not really having as great of a time as the first time I went there earlier this year.
- [06:50]
Lyle
Why do you know, Go. Well, go ahead, if this answers the question, but why do you. Why do you feel like that is?
- [06:57]
Joe
Well, I, again, like, I had a casual experience before going to this place, and I felt myself going, like, you know, I should slow this down. I should really connect with someone. But it's hard for me to connect with people where I live. So I'm like, let's go. Let's go to this place again. Let's sleep with more beautiful women. It's very. It's very easy. I mean, that's why people go there. Mm. I did that. But I also felt myself just feeling lonelier, not as excited about it. I mean, the sex was. It's always fun there, but still, like, I'm by myself. Like, I wish my friends were with me.
- [07:34]
Lyle
Yeah.
- [07:35]
Joe
I really kind of would rather be connected with someone a little more. Seriously.
- [07:40]
Lyle
Hundred percent.
- [07:42]
Joe
Exactly. But on this same trip, which part of me feels a little bad about, there was a plan to meet a lady in the same city, to which I did right after going to this, having this club experience. And I found myself really connecting with her.
- [08:02]
Mal
Okay.
- [08:03]
Joe
And I feel myself a little bit more now, more accepting of it. But at the time, I was a little more in denial of it because
- [08:11]
Mal
I was like, I don't want to
- [08:13]
Joe
get into a long distance relationship again. You know, she is a foreigner, like, trying to get the visa, trying to, like, who's gonna move where? Like, all these long distance, like, thoughts and feelings are popping up again, which is what I felt with my ex, because we had dated for almost a year. And, you know, the same feelings, the same sentiments, like, I'm missing this person. I find myself missing this person a lot. We're texting. I miss you, and makes Me feel like it's great to have that feeling.
- [08:45]
Lyle
Yes.
- [08:46]
Joe
To miss someone, you know, that sort of like. I don't want to say love quite yet, but that loving feeling, you know?
- [08:53]
Kal Penn
Yes.
- [08:53]
Joe
But it's hard because you have to plan everything again, who's going to move where again. Like, yeah, but I'm trying. I'm telling my friend, because one of my best friends, because I'm just like, man, I'm just like. I'm just. Why am I such a horror? Like, whore. Like, I see there's so many beautiful women. Like, I just want to talk to them. I just want to, like, kiss them and this. And obviously all consensually. But, like, I know deep inside I want, like, my one person. And these days, like, more lately, I'm more accepting of it. Texting her more, just like, okay, let's see where this goes, you know, let's give this an honest go. So that's kind of where I'm at right now. So I'm just kind of going with the flow with it and. Yeah, we'll just see where it works, where things go, you know, that's kind of what I'm feeling.
- [09:47]
Lyle
You know, I struggle with a lot of similar things where it's like, at some point. And it's also hard because, like. Like, connection is kind of rare, I think. Like, you can go on a lot of dates and you can talk to a lot of people, whatever, but, like, really feeling like you connect someone, connect with someone. And having that, like, oh, I miss you. Oh, I. You know what?
- [10:15]
Mal
I.
- [10:15]
Lyle
Like a connection, it feels really rare. And it's never perfect. It'll. It'll show up in, like, such deeply inconvenient scenarios, you know, I mean, if you're someone who likes you, connected really deeply with the, you know, the lady or the guy that you were dating in high school, and then you fucking took that to the bank up until you were in your 60s. You're really lucky. You're really lucky. And it's funny, I don't have answers to this stuff. I've been thinking about it myself because we live in a. Like, think about all of our fucking grandparents or like. Or like, arranged marriages or shit like that, where, like, back before we had a billion options on dating apps and shit, you just kind of kicked. You just kind of picked someone and you committed to them and then you just ran with it. And there's pros. It's hard. There's pros and cons to that because obviously that created a ton of unhappy Marriages that just kept going out of the sake of convenience.
- [11:20]
Joe
Yeah.
- [11:22]
Lyle
And then on the flip side, it's like, now we have this, like, problem of abundance where it all feels like there's always something around the corner, and you're like, oh, fuck, I have this connection, but the logistics of it aren't. Aren't perfect. And let's. Let's wait until we find a more perfect thing. Bro, I'm not even going to vaguely pretend or insinuate like, I have an answer to this, but I'm happy to ponder it with you.
- [11:52]
Joe
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
- [11:54]
Lyle
Because it's something I do think about a lot. There's also the thing of. I have a lot of theories about it. I mean, I think at some point you have to be. You have to decide what you can stomach. You know, you have to really decide what you could stomach. And you have to be pretty brutal about your. They have to kind of brutally audit yourself in terms of what you can stomach. And like, have you ever. Have you done that? What I mean by that is like, like, okay, let's like you and this lady, right? Let's say, like, she wants that. Let's say you were the lady and she wants to have kids in the next, you know, year, you know, and you. But you want to wait. It's like, can you stomach that? Can you really. Can you really stomach that? You know, figure it out. She wants to move to Denver. You want to stay in New York, would you move to Denver? You know, is that okay? Can you stuff like that? She. Like, like, like you have. You're going to have to put up with things. That's the pros. Forget about romantic relationships. The pros and cons of, like, just being around other human beings is like, you have to deal with conflict. It's like the, the tax you pay on connection is this of kind conflict. And you just have to decide what you're willing to stomach. And dude, some people are wired in this way, and I've met them where they're like, totally cool with, like, yeah, I'll just be single. I'll be a. There's male and female versions of this where it's like, you know, I'm totally okay. You know, for guys where it's like, I'm totally okay just like, being alone or, like, being a playboy or whatever, or for women who are like, you know, living a male de. Centered life and just like, doing their thing. Some people are totally okay with that. And then some people are, like, pretty adamant about wanting a connection. But. But it can be hard if you're. It can be hard, especially if you're the kind of person that, like, is a hedonist and you're trying to break away from your hedonism because you. You really feel like on the other side of that hedonism, there's a better, more accountable version of yourself to, like, you know, dive into these things. But it's hard. It's a leap of faith. So you just have to be. Decide what you're willing to stomach. And so I ask you that, what are. What are you willing to stomach?
- [14:30]
Joe
I think. I don't know. I feel like I was the one who was very adaptable, understanding, community. Like, I felt like I was very. I was very much like the healthy one in my last relationship. So it's more of like, what am I choosing? Do I want to continue just being single, or do I want to actually try to begin a relationship with someone? And I think it's just kind of. I kind of, like, go neutral, I think trying to take a neutral approach of, like, let's just where things go. I try not to, like, overthink it because, you know, the moments where I'm feeling a bit, like, overwhelmed is like, who's gonna move where? Like, she's trying to start her business. I'm trying to get a new job and, like, a start. Begin a new career here soon. Things like that are kind of, like, popping in my head, but it's more of, like. I mean, she. She's understanding of that too. So I think we're just gonna kind of play it by ear and just kind of go where things go with that. Yeah, I mean, the whole thing with, like, options. Yeah, that was. I think that's kind of why I was, like, addicted to Facebook day. I'm trying to. Even today, I was like, I need to, like, delete my apps or, like, pause them or something. Cause it's just, like, it's easy to. At least for me. I don't know. Like, it's kind of like, worse than, like, doom scrolling. I have, like, this thing where I'm like, I wake up. Okay, who's. Who's matched with me? Who can I chat with? Like, it's kind of like whenever, like, addiction or something.
- [16:00]
Lyle
Yeah, it's a. It's a terrible addiction for sure.
- [16:03]
Joe
Yeah. My first time, like, dealing with that, like, being single. I've been single for, like, last six months, but I've been doing that. I'm like, I've never done this before. Like, I'm just trying to See who I match with, see who I can sleep with, go on dates. But I'm trying to. I think I want to, deep inside, like, slow that down because it's exhausting and terribly exhausting. It is, like, it's expensive. It's exhausting. I'm avoiding, like, focusing on things that make me happy and then instead of doing that, just, like, going out and meeting people, going to the bar and getting drunk and trying to chat with people, or, I mean, I hang out with my friends, too, but it's like, I'm avoiding, like, what makes me truly happy to just kind of chase this thing. And I really want to slow that down. So I'm mostly leaning towards, like, beginning a relationship with someone, a healthy one, because my last one was pretty heinous. And I want. I know, like, love. And, like, I mean, it takes two people, you know. Like, it should be, like, I've heard some of your phrases. Like, it should be easy, you know,
- [17:08]
Lyle
having a relationship with someone, you know, I. I'd like it to be easy.
- [17:15]
Joe
I don't know.
- [17:17]
Lyle
It's ideal if it's easy. I also. I was going to say something, and I'm a bit of a. I'm hypocritical to say this, but, like, the. The. The theory that I have, and this is just like, I've kind of come to. I've kind of come to this conclusion a lot and, like, betrayed it in my life. But I've. The best relationships I've had in my life or, like, the times where I, like, really connected with someone. I've had some, like, girls that have, like, connected with that I've, like, over the years. Like, I mean, I started, you know, first downloaded dating apps when I was, like, in college, and I had some connections with people over the apps, but, like, overall, when I think about, like, the people I had the most connection with, they're usually people I met in person. And I met them because I was, like, doing stuff with my life. And I do feel like, you know, I mean, it's easy and, like, kind of cheap and quick to, like, you know, go to this app that, like, shows you, you know, attractive people in your area and stuff and gives you the quick hits. But, like, the most quality connections I found were, like, because I was living my life, those people, like, naturally gravitated to me. And every time I kind of go back into the dating app world, I try to remind myself of that because you do get kind of exhausted, and it's a lot of, like, effort and,
- [19:00]
Joe
oh, yeah, It's a lot of effort.
- [19:02]
Lyle
And, You know, if you're going to put all that effort into something, you might as well put it into your own life. It's not like a. I don't know, it's a trick. It's a tricky equation. It's a really tricky equation. But the data. Yeah, the data in the data for me at least shows that, like, the I've. I've had periods of time where I put a lot of energy and effort into like, apps and stuff and didn't, like, really pan out super well. And then anytime I, like, put a lot of energy and effort into just like, my own stuff and I, like, didn't focus too much about it, like, you know, connections kind of more naturally came to me. Yeah, Dates feel. Dates also feel kind of stiff. You know, they just feel kind of stiff and weird. And obviously like, the. Over time, the. The stiffness can turn into a genuine connection. I mean, I have, like, I think, yeah, my. All. Most of my, like, really good friends met each other. I mean, really good friends, like, they met their spouses, like, on a hinge or a tinder. And those places can be conducive to relationships. But if you're just like, burnt out and exhausted by that shit, it's, you know, the better course is to be like, all right, I'm going to take a fucking break from this and, like, do something with myself. And then shit happens unexpectedly. I mean, you were on a trip, you're on a trip, right?
- [20:49]
Joe
No, no, I got, I got back from that trip.
- [20:51]
Lyle
But you. But I'm saying, the lady that you met, who you guys are texting each other, I miss you.
- [20:57]
Joe
Yep. Yeah.
- [20:59]
Lyle
You guys.
- [21:00]
Ryan Reynolds
That.
- [21:00]
Lyle
You met her on a trip, right?
- [21:03]
Joe
Actually, I met her through Facebook dating, because there's a distance and she happened to live in the same city where this club place is at. And I was like, well, if I'm going there, you know, might as well go to club and then we'll see, like, how things go afterwards. And things went out turned out to go really well to where I'm like, I mean, we miss each other a lot. So I was like, okay, you know what? I'm gonna try to visit you again, like, end of this month or like August or something. Like, it's been. It's been really good. And no, I've been just, like, in love with that place to where I'm like, I. I didn't think I'd see myself, like, not wanting to go there, which is good because I do want Like, a genuine connection. But, you know, we did meet through Facebook dating. And, you know, it's kind of weird because it gives you, like, people far away. I mean, that's how I met my ex, too. Like, we met.
- [21:58]
Lyle
Yeah, totally.
- [21:58]
Joe
Like, 800,000 miles away and. But, yeah, I'm trying to slow that sort of side of me down to where I'm like, you know, like, I want to even today. Like, I was just on the phone with my friend, oh, what are you doing Fourth of July? And I was like, oh, let's go to this one bar in town. All right, cool. And he's like, oh. He mentioned something about, like, chasing. I'm like, you know, I don't want to do that. He's like, oh, that's good. Like, he's very much like a lover boy. He's like, oh, dude, she's the one. Like, I'm telling you, like, you should date her like this and that.
- [22:32]
Lyle
Oh, he mentions, like, chasing. Like, chasing women at a bar.
- [22:36]
Joe
Yeah. It's like, oh, like, it'll be. I forgot what exactly you said.
- [22:40]
Lyle
It's so. It's so. There's nothing. There's nothing. Just more. And, like, guys know the feeling. There's nothing more just, like, exhausting and disappointing than, like, going to an event with the express. You know, women have experiences, too. Like, there's nothing more exhausting than, like, going to a place or an event with the express purpose of, like, I am going to meet someone tonight.
- [23:09]
Joe
Yes. And, like, actually, that was so relieving when I told him that. I'm, like, you know what? Like, I'm not gonna do that. I'm not worried about that. I'm talking to someone. He's like, yes. He's, like, supporting because I've told him about this girl. And also for me, because, like, the whole, like, rest of our last. I mean, this. Since the beginning of this year, I've been just doing that, like, focusing on chasing girls at the bar. Like, you know, one of my friends was like, dude, like, did he say exactly, like, you should focus more on, like, your art rather than trying to, like, just go to the bar or go to the clubs and trying to, like, chase girls.
- [23:41]
Mal
Like, it's.
- [23:42]
Joe
It was right, because, you know, I was neglecting, again, like, that personal side of, like, the side that matters or just focusing on myself, you know? Like, I was, like, neglecting that you just kind of, like, chase. But I was also, like, not for no reason. Like, I was very much heartbroken. And these days, I'm feeling more Healed. And I'm feeling, like, a lot better about that. So I'm just, like, I'm, you know, ready for an actual connection with someone. And, you know, this chasing is exhausting. The dates are exhausting. Like, I just want to, like, wake up, not open the apps, just, like, work on something at the house or go hang out with a friend or, like, like you said, like, go. Go out and like, just not even think about girls and just focusing on, like, the boys and, you know, like, making, like, saying hi to people, not expecting anything else out of it. So it's been. Been quite the journey this far.
- [24:32]
Lyle
It's hard. I mean, it's a very. You know what's funny is it this. This stuff is very analogous to, like. It's very analogous to, like, a lot of career things, too. You, like, fight. Finding a girlfriend is a lot like creating a viral video in the sense that, like, in the sense that, like, you know, you can, like, in the sense, like, you can. You can approach the. You can approach something logically. You can like, oh, I have a hook. Oh, I have a this. So I have a. That. Like, you can, you know, use your. You can. You can, like, really try to do it, but at the end of the day, some random dumb bullshit you film and post on the Internet is going to be the thing that ends up being the thing.
- [25:19]
Joe
Yeah.
- [25:19]
Lyle
As opposed. Whereas, like, you know, you can. You can, like, you can. You can do the same thing where. With. With finding a girlfriend where it's like, oh, I'm on all these apps. I do all this. I go. I have this regiment of going out to the bars, but it's gonna be some random. Like a random.
- [25:34]
Joe
Exactly.
- [25:35]
Kal Penn
Just.
- [25:35]
Lyle
Yeah, it's. You know, and it's also similar. It's like, okay, sometimes people do the regimented thing and it works out. You know, there's no real answer. But it. It's. Yeah, it's similar stuff.
- [25:47]
Joe
Yeah, I agree with that. Like, the less you try, the easy. It's like trying to get a. Like your cat or something. Like, if you. If you're trying to call your cat, your cat won't listen. But you don't try. They'll just come over. But I mean, like, the. The most popular reels are the ones that. Where people are like, not even trying, but it was like, just some random. And it's just like, you can tell, too. You can tell when reels are trying or when they're just like, just some random shit. And it's just like. I mean, it's the same thing with dating too. And like my last experience too. It's just like, if you don't try, it's just kind of like live your life. I mean, that's why, like, I agree with just like focusing on your hobbies, focusing on yourself, your health and that sort of thing. Because naturally it'll just come. Come through. And even like, just casual experiences too. Like if I. If you just don't try so hard, like, or even like something more serious, like a relationship, like, it just kind of comes naturally. It's always best that way, whether it's like through a dating app or like through in person. Like, it's just kind of like, let just be chill or like, I mean, that's why it's also good to like, be friends with some people before getting into the relationship too, because it's just like more. More natural, less expectations. I've told that to people. Like, it's just best not to have any expectations. Like, you know, keep it. What does it. Keep the expectations, like, extremely low. Like, don't expect anything. And then things will, you know, things will work out. They won't, or they will work out or they won't. And I've had plenty of that in my last bike dating experiences just kind of like, let me navigate this just with no expectations. And it's been working great so far. Now I'm just trying to navigate, like, what it's like to connect with someone on a serious level. And it's kind of, again, like, don't expect a whole lot, but let's give this an honest chance. And so far, so good. It's only been a few days, but it's been kind of nice.
- [27:43]
Lyle
What's your name again?
- [27:45]
Mal
Joe.
- [27:45]
Lyle
Joe. Okay. I'm glad that you remembered the fake name that I gave you.
- [27:49]
Joe
Yeah.
- [27:50]
Lyle
Joe, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go
- [27:55]
Joe
now? Let's see. I don't know what to say. Yeah. Love is love. That's it.
- [28:03]
Lyle
Have a good one, brother. Take care.
- [28:05]
Joe
You too, brother.
- [28:05]
Mal
Peace.
- [28:08]
Kal Penn
Hey, everyone, it's Kal Penn. I'm the host of Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project, Hail Mary Massive sci fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from Earth.
- [28:31]
Ray Porter
I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating. Some of these sections and it's like, okay, yo, yo, yo. Is this indulgent? And I really thought about it. I was like, no. At this point it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that deeply, emotionally affected me. And I left it on the mic. That's great because it served the story. People will say like, oh my God, I cried at the end. It's like, yeah dude, me too.
- [29:03]
Kal Penn
Listen to Hearsay, the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [29:13]
Apple/Mac Advertiser
Getting to a great idea is hard in college. Nonsensical essays, cringe inducing presentations, and seemingly unsuitable solvable problem sets. But then the first thought becomes a final thesis. Jumbled slides transform into a polished keynote. And that midterm assignment gets a lot less mid because the road to great ideas is littered with bad ones. You just have to keep going until something clicks. Great ideas start on Mac. Find out more on apple.com college hey,
- [29:42]
Ryan Reynolds
it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills. But it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment
- [30:04]
Apple/Mac Advertiser
of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for a 12 month plan. Required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy. See terms.
- [30:15]
Joe
Hello?
- [30:16]
Lyle
Hey, what's up man?
- [30:17]
Joe
Hey, thanks for calling back.
- [30:20]
Lyle
For sure. What's your name?
- [30:21]
Mal
It's Mal. That's like the name I want to use because like a job reasons and stuff.
- [30:28]
Lyle
Sure man. What's going on with you today, Mal?
- [30:33]
Mal
So I had sent a text a couple days ago. Well like the first text I sent was like back in October saying like I was like furloughed my job and then I sent a text like a couple days ago saying like oh, like I was. I got unfurloughed back in November. But that's not the important part. The important part my was a Korean American geologist who also stutters and I just kind of wanted to. I know like in like past like episodes I've listened to like there were some folks who said that they had, like, a stutter and. Or I guess in some, like, yaknail stuff. And I'm not. I. I just wanted to, like, kind of share my stuttering story. Also, like, branding, like. Like, I'm a Korean Americans who kind of been through, like, this American experience. That gets better. I'm, like, 38 years old. I'm, like 38 years old. And. Yeah. Like, I've been through all these stages in my life. Yeah. So. Yeah, sure.
- [31:38]
Lyle
Well, all right. Where do we start? Let's see. How about. Okay, it sounds like you. It sounds like you want to tell
- [31:45]
Mal
your life story, sort of, but I know, like. Like, we're limited by time, so I. I guess I'll just start with, like, the stuttering because it's kind of interwoven, and I'll, like. I'll try to be quick about it with a detail so I don't, like, take up, like, all of your time.
- [32:03]
Lyle
No, you're all good. Go ahead, man.
- [32:05]
Mal
So I started stuttering when I was, like, fourth grade, I think, because, like, my family had moved to, like, a different town in my state, and I was just a shy kid, and I just didn't talk for a while. And I think that's when I noticed, like, when I started talking again, I just couldn't pronounce words. I had trouble, like, with certain consonants and stuff. And that kind of happened throughout middle school and high school and kind of weaving in, like, me being, like, a Korean American. Like, my family wanted to be. My family wanted me to be a doctor. And numerous times a lot of folks in my family were like, you know, just. Just say it. Like, why aren't you saying it? Like, what's. What's wrong with you? And one time my, like, uncle sat down with me, and he was like, oh, you know, like, if you want to become a successful doctor, you know, you got to get rid of that. Or, like, no one's going to respect you. So that really affected me, like, for a long time as a kid. And it always, like, it always, like, was on my mind. And a little fact about folks who stutter. I think it's like, only 1% of the population stutters. At least that's what the National Stuttering association told me, and I'll get to that later. So it's very rare you'll run into, like, a person who stutters. So as a kid, I didn't know anyone else stuttered, so I thought, hey, what's wrong with me? Like, like, I'm the only person in this world who Stutters, Like, I gotta fix this. I. I treated it like an enemy, I guess, Like a. Like a bad part of my body that I fixed. And I was always ashamed of was so bad that I had trouble talking on the phone. Like, if I still had. Well, I still have a stutter, but, like, I wouldn't be having this conversation, or it was difficult ordering food at restaurants. So I'd always find, like, something that was easy to order that I wouldn't stutter on. And that kind of affected me. I. I actually didn't start. I wasn't comfortable talking with girls until sophomore year in college because of the stutter. And the only way I forced myself to stutter or talk to them was because we had these extreme students from Germany. And I was like, well, I gotta talk to them because I want to talk to their homes. And I forced myself to do that, and I did. Anyway. The first person that I stuttered. Sorry. Like, the first person who I met who stuttered was in college. And I had this realization, like, oh, I'm not the only one. So that was kind of helpful. And then kind of over time, from, like, age, like, 18 to 25, I just kind of became more comfortable with my voice. And then I think the biggest breakthrough was back in 2020. Sorry. When I was 25, I saw this documentary. I forget what it's called, but the person who made the documentary, he, like, he went around the US and he went to Japan, and he was with some people who stuttered, and he was talking with this guy was, like, in the 70s, and. And he said that his stutter was like a friend to him because it was with him his whole life, and he had gotten comfortable with it. And he said that if he. If his stutter went away the next day, he would miss it like an old friend who had died. So I was like, oh, that's an interesting way to reframe it. And ever since then, I've kind of treated it as a friend, like a person, I guess, a part of me that makes me special. And that was even more reinforced when I went to the National Stuttering Association Conference to have it around July 4th every year. I'm not going this year because I didn't. I'm, like, saving up for, like, a trip. I'm saving for, like, a trip to Japan. But they're like, I met, like, 700 other folks who started like, me, and I was like, oh, my God, like, cool. Like, they're just like, me.
- [36:17]
Lyle
Yeah.
- [36:17]
Mal
And I'm hearing their stories. I'm like, there's a lot of commonality. And also when it comes to stutters, like, everyone stutters differently. And also knowing, like, oh, like, my kind of stuttering is different from other people. In, like, the uk, they call it stammering. I actually met this guy who's a doctor in the UK who sort of went through similar experiences I did where, like, his, I think, like, his advisor in med school was like, you know, like, you got to get rid of that stutter or you're never going to make it. And then four years later, he was getting his MD and his advisor was sitting there just kind of like, like, with like a. Oh, like, I shouldn't have told him that, like, look on his face. So I was like, well, that's. That's pretty interesting. And then, And I think the most interesting part was everyone asked me, like, oh, like, you're so fluent, like, could you take speech language therapy? And I never did because I couldn't afford it my entire life. I just kind of came to my realization and other things I found out was, like, the world of speech language pathology. And I'm not. I'm not like, an expert in it, but just. Just from anecdotal experience from talking with folks who stuttered. Like, they said that the original strategy, like, in the past was to develop ways to talk to other people without stuttering instead of working on, like, internal issues or, I guess, being comfortable with your voice and kind of like a holistic approach to speech language therapy. So, like, there are a lot of folks who are older who had learned, like, methods to not sort of like, singing while they're talking or kind of talking in a monotone voice. And that's. That's not really a way to live. And so it's been more recent, from what I've heard that they develop.
- [38:15]
Lyle
Wait, people. People have gotten rid of their stutter by just singing all the time?
- [38:20]
Mal
Well, that. That was like one of like, like the, like, methods of therapy for speech language therapists is to sing. And. And I've noticed and that when I sing, I. I didn't stutter. And I guess that's one of the things that they figured out, like, the speech language therapists. And I think another way is, like, if you whisper but don't hear you. And another method that I've heard is speaking in like, a, like, Like a very, like, monotone voice, like a robot. But, like, that's not really a way to live. I mean, like, I guess if folks enjoy talking, that they can, but that's not really, like a way to live, to express, like, you can't express your emotions and all that when you're talking, if you're talking like a robot. So. Yeah, and, and also, like, I met a lot of folks who were, like, in different parts of their stuttering journey, like, folks who had just started speech language therapy, folks who developed the stutter, like, in their 70s. Because they got cancer. Well, no, they got some neurological disease that I guess it interrupted, like, their language areas. And so they'd been fluent their whole life, and now they couldn't speak. And it was, it was devastating for them. And then there. And I, I think the most beautiful thing I saw there was kids who stuttered, who have been raised to be okay with their stutter. And I just saw them happy and being free, I guess. And that definitely brought, like, a cheer to my eye. I think there was, like, the cousin of some kid there and, and like, she, like, at, like, the closing remarks, like, looked at her cousin, I was like, you know, like, like, the way you talk is beautiful instead of being shameful. And that just, yeah, that, that really hit me pretty hard, like, in a good way. And I guess what I wanted to say was, you know, like, it does get better with time. Stuttering is nothing to be ashamed of. And I met some guy at a stuttering meeting. He was, like, 18. He was really young, and he wanted to be an air traffic controller. But, like, he really wanted to be, like, he loved it, but he had a really bad stutter. And I could just see the pain in his heart. Like, I can't do this. It's my dream, but I have to let go of it. I hope he attended more of those NSA meetings. So. National Stuttering Association. Unfortunately, its acronym is the same as a certain government agency, but it's, but they're different. But I, I, I hope he got more comfort from others and learned to accept himself. I know it's not like, the main way to do it. I mean, there's many ways to kind of, I wouldn't say get over stuttering because it's still a part of my life, but learning to accept it and not be shameful for it. Other, other good examples of it is like the movie the King Speech, which just left me just, like, in tears because I guess it's interesting seeing a movie about, like, like a very famous person. I think it was like, one of the, like, the kings of England during World War II. And he had to give a speech because, like, the London, like, the London Blitz was happening and he he got a speech language pathologist back then who, you know, I used like the more older methods to help him but also kind of guided him and was his friend and was able to be like vulnerable around him and just helped him with his speech and yeah, it was amazing. And what's interesting is like the movie also depicts a lot of like, like, like the shame that comes with stuttering and like, I mean it's kind of over exaggerated but ways that other people who aren't necessarily aware of stuttering like treat folks who don't have, who have a stutter. So I'm not saying that everyone does that, but yeah, it was a really good movie and yeah and kind of tying that into like who I am. So I think I mentioned earlier like I was raised Korean American, I'm a kid of immigrants from Korea and my parents really wanted me to be a doctor, but I ended up becoming a geologist instead, which is a complete 180. And I guess being like a kid of immigrants who also has a stutter and like I would always be like the translator for my parents. That made things even more difficult and with the pressure of being like, well I guess the pressure of being told my entire childhood I need to become a doctor. That's the only viable pathway to become successful in this country, which I totally understand because my parents are immigrants in a new country where you know, they're starting new and you know, being successful, I mean that's one of the reasons why they moved here is to make sure that I lived a successful life. You know, they, they only want the best out of me. So like I'm not angry at them for the way they raised me. I forgave them even though they stopped growing up. But I understand now as an adult bad perspective and just I guess for all, I guess for Korean American listeners who are young going through equal title as a kid, a youth, you know, it, it does get better. There are options out there to other pathways for success. And yeah, that's, that's like the, the extra long TLDR version of my life story and I hope folks hear it. I've never like, I've shared it with friends but I haven't like shared it like openly out to like everyone. So. Yeah.
- [45:00]
Lyle
So how are you doing now?
- [45:02]
Mal
I'm doing great. So I've been six years at my job as a geologist. I'm not going to identify where because I don't want to get toxic, but I just passed my six year mark there. It actually coincided with my birthday. So I like turned 38 and six years. I do a lot of like. So, like there's a lot of things in geology like volcanoes and environmental geology and a lot of different subfields. I do more of the environmental stuff and I really like it personal life wise. I. I think I. I think when you called me yesterday, I was on a date, so I, I couldn't really answer because I didn't. I didn't want to be rude. And you know, the day went well, so there'll be like another date.
- [45:50]
Lyle
So that would have been really funny if you answered during the date and then you just didn't it like that guy who called when he was in the movie theater and then he just didn't see the movie. Like, you call and you just go out to the bathroom. You just talk to me for an hour and then your date just leaves.
- [46:06]
Mal
Yeah.
- [46:06]
Lyle
Oh, man.
- [46:07]
Mal
Yeah. Yeah.
- [46:08]
Lyle
Just, you know.
- [46:08]
Mal
Yeah.
- [46:09]
Lyle
Doing the therapy gecko show. How's the day?
- [46:11]
Mal
Yeah, it went. It went like, pretty well. Like, we got like ramen and then we went to this like really cool, like bar that has like 2, 000, like board games and thousands drink. Yeah. Yeah. Like, it's just, it's. It's. It's cool because, like, you walk in this big bar, it's like open space. There's like a kitchen like in the middle, and you can sit anywhere you want. And then there's this like. I think like it used to be maybe like Stone's Mansion or something, I don't know. But there's this room that looks like a. Like a really old vintage library. And this, it's a stacked full of games and apparently, like, that's only like a quarter of like the games. Like they have more in the back and. Yeah, like two. I was like, oh, my God. That's. That's like.
- [46:58]
Lyle
Do you know what's. You know what's funny is I, I feel like I don't like, I don't like places that like, they advertise on quantity. You know what I mean? Like, we have two. Like, we have two. Like, if you advertise, your bar is like, oh, we have 2, 000 board games. I'm like, that's useless. I'm. I can only. I could probably play like maybe one or two, you know?
- [47:20]
Mal
Yeah.
- [47:20]
Lyle
You were like, like, if the bar was like, we have two really good games, I'd be like, all right, I'm in. That sounds like I can get the whole thing. Or a bar that just commits, that's like, you know, we we do Jenga.
- [47:33]
Mal
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, like, I'm like, I'm kind of on the same page with you. Like, with like. Like restaurants with menus. Like, if there's like a million items in the menu I have.
- [47:42]
Lyle
Yeah.
- [47:43]
Mal
I get a lot of anxiety. I'm like, what do I choose? Yeah, like, I. I'd rather be like, this place makes hot dogs, really good hot dogs. And that's it. I'm like, all right, let's go.
- [47:53]
Lyle
Exactly. Those are the most successful places, by the way. Like, Chick Fil A. They're like, we do a chicken sandwich. We do a couple of other things, but we do that chicken sandwich. We don't have, like, a new crazy thing every week. We just have our one thing that we do. Yeah, I feel like a lot of life is like that, you know, you just figure out one or two things to do very well.
- [48:16]
Mal
Yeah. And it's like Pizza Hut. Even though they're not doing so hard now, they're like, yeah, we make pizzas and we're in a hut. So
- [48:24]
Lyle
cool, man. Mal, how is. How's dating been for you? Are you looking for a wife? Are you looking to have kids? Is that the whole thing?
- [48:33]
Mal
More like a part, like a life partner. No kids. I'm not gonna bring anyone new into this economy in this state, but definitely, like, like, like a person to be with, a person to share my life with. And, like, I'll go on, like, on like a day or two every month. I'm on the app site. What's strange was, like, I. I have hinge, and I, like, had it for like three or four years, and I didn't use it for, like a year. And then I just random was like, hey, I should, you know, try it. And I matched with, like, two people, and I went on two different dates over two different days. I think the one yesterday was the one that was more promising. I'll see. But it's been nice. And there's folks I talk with, like, on Instagram, and. And, you know, I know, like, I know like, one hard rule that I have is, like, I'm not dating anyone at work. Like, I like to keep my work life and private life, like, very separate, so.
- [49:33]
Lyle
Respect. Respect.
- [49:34]
Mal
Yeah, yeah.
- [49:37]
Lyle
And you, you don't sound like. I mean, I know you mentioned you're a high function stutterer, but you haven't really been stuttering on our call. It sounds like your stutter has gotten a lot better over the course of your life.
- [49:49]
Mal
Yeah, it has. I think it just has to do with, like, confidence, be more comfortable with who I am. And also, like, I, I feel like I'm, like, the exception out of the norm for other folks sort of who've gone to, like, speech language therapy, like, their whole lives. And a lot of folks are, well, like, you ever been in speech language therapy? I'm like, yeah, I haven't. Mainly because I, I, I couldn't afford it in those years because I was, like, in grad school or I didn't have insurance, like, a long time ago, so. And, like, it's usually, like, expensive. So. And I, I think what's, what's, like, an interesting observation that I've noticed is, like, when I'm with, like, close friends where, like, I'm more comfortable, like, I don't have this mask on, or I guess I'm more comfortable being myself. I stutter more. But I think that's because, like, they know I stutter and they're told, and, and they're totally fine with it. So I'm like, okay, whatever. Yeah.
- [50:46]
Lyle
Weird. I would think it was. It's so funny you say that. I would think it would be the opposite, where you, when you feel like you could just be yourself, that you stutter less.
- [50:53]
Mal
Yeah.
- [50:54]
Lyle
There's a comedian I know who, he has a. He has a stutter, and people think he's faking it, because when you talk to him in real life, he doesn't have the stutter as he has a little bit, but he doesn't have the stutter as much. But then when he goes on stage, he stutters a lot. And it's because, like, you know, like, the stage nerves and, like, the adrenaline, like, really activate the ticks. So it's interesting to hear you say that, because I would think that the ticks and whatnot, they get activated more, like, the more stress you have. But you're saying it's like, the more chill you feel, the less stutter you. Or do you feel like the more chill you feel, the more you stutter? Which I think is interesting.
- [51:40]
Mal
I think. I think it's like, maybe not chill, but more okay to be vulnerable. So, like, around people I really trust, where I'm just like, I'm just gonna. Just whatever. Because, like, I. I feel like there's, like. When I'm talking, like, like right now, like, I have. I kind of feel like I have, I don't know, like, interesting. Well.
- [52:06]
Lyle
Oh, okay. So the stutters are like, they're like farts for you, Kai, where it's like, if I, like, I'm like, right now because you. Okay, I tell you if this is accurate, like right now because you want to like, not stutter, cuz, like you're on a podcast or whatever. Are you. Are you like, holding it in
- [52:24]
Mal
sort of that. I mean, like, that is one good way to like. I never saw it that way, like, holding it apart. I know people with stutter are like, we're all wired a little differently, so. Yeah, maybe. Interesting. I know, like when I give presentations or I am on big conference calls, I have a lot of time to prep for them. So like, that's like, minimize the stuttering. I'll. I'll have to think about that more. Like, I guess the whole, like me stuttering more when I'm feeling more vulnerable around people I trust, you know, that's. That's just a personal observation. So I wouldn't say it's like applicable for everyone who stutters because we're all wired differently. That's what I learned from meeting other. Other folks stuttered. And I'm not a professional in language pathology, so maybe that's something that they could do like a thesis
- [53:25]
Lyle
Mal. Is there anything else you want to say to the people before we go?
- [53:33]
Mal
Not really. I'll be. I'll be going to one of your shows in one of the. In a urban area in the middle of a country.
- [53:45]
Lyle
Urban area in the middle of the country.
- [53:47]
Mal
Of the country. Yeah. Yeah.
- [53:50]
Joe
And.
- [53:50]
Mal
And I don't know, I mean, I'll. I'll bring like a mineral to give you or something and that's how, you know it'll give me.
- [53:58]
Lyle
Oh, I would like a mineral.
- [54:00]
Mal
Yeah, I would like a mineral. I. I do this thing with like close friends where I'll get like a geode and I'll have it cracked in half and I'll keep.
- [54:07]
Lyle
I like a geode.
- [54:08]
Mal
Give the other. Yeah. And I'll try to find one that's green. Maybe if there's right in there. Because you're the gag.
- [54:15]
Lyle
I like it. I would, I would. I would enjoy pondering over a green geode. I'm excited. Okay. I'm excited to see you at my next show in the urban area in the mid West.
- [54:30]
Mal
Yes.
- [54:32]
Lyle
All right, man. Well, thanks for. Thanks for sharing, brother. I'll. I'll see you. I'll see you at this urban area in the Midwest.
- [54:40]
Mal
Yes, totally. Yeah. I will mark it down on my calendar so I don't forget because I also have ADHD and all that, but yeah, cool, man.
- [54:48]
Lyle
Thanks for sharing your story, man. I appreciate it. I'll talk to you. I'll see you. I'll see you in an urban area in the Midwest.
- [54:55]
Mal
You too, guy. Thank you.
- [54:56]
Lyle
Later, man. That was nice. I liked Mal. I'm excited for this green geode. Yeah, that'll be awesome. A fucking green geode. Maybe it has like a. Maybe. Maybe it glows. Maybe I can jailbreak it to glow. Yo, can you jailbreak a rock to do shit that normal rocks don't do? I'll have to find that out.
- [55:29]
Kal Penn
Hey everyone, it's Kal Penn. I'm the host of Irsay the Audible and I Heart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project, Hail Mary massive sci fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from Earth.
- [55:52]
Ray Porter
I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections. And it's like, okay, yo, yo, yo. Is this indulgent? And I really thought about it. I was like, no. At this point it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that deeply, emotionally affected me. And I left it on the mic.
- [56:19]
Kal Penn
That's great.
- [56:19]
Ray Porter
Cause it served the story. People will say like, oh my God, I cried at the end. It's like, yeah dude, me too.
- [56:24]
Kal Penn
Listen to Irsay the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [56:34]
Apple/Mac Advertiser
Getting to a great idea is hard in college. Nonsensical essays, cringe inducing presentations, and seemingly unsolvable problem sets. But then the first thought becomes a final thesis. Jumbled slides transform into a polished keynote. And that midterm assignment gets a lot less mid because the road to great ideas is littered with bad ones. You just have to keep going until something clicks. Great ideas start on Mac. Find out more on apple.com college hey,
- [57:03]
Ryan Reynolds
it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment
- [57:25]
Apple/Mac Advertiser
of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for a 12 month plan. Required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy. See terms.
- [57:33]
Lyle
Hello folks, it's Lyle and I'm going to read some viewer mail today. This is a segment, it's called Geck Mail and in it I read mail from viewers or listeners. I guess viewers, listeners. What's the difference? What's the difference in a viewer and a listener? I guess they're the same. I guess one is you see something and one is you listen to something. And I guess most people are listening, but you can view something with your ears which is to listen to it. Okay, so this is people who have sent me mail to therapygeckomailmail.com Some of these are old, but I've just been like going through the backlog. So if you sent me an email seven or eight months ago, I might be reading it right now. This is from Jackson. Subject line. I like to stare. Interesting. I live near an arena in a large US city and one of my favorite pastimes is watching the waves of people leaving a show and the traffic that comes with it. The pictures, guys selling T shirts on the corner, group interactions, the cool outfits. I love it all. It's just so human. I just saw a girl in full pink body paint and that's sick as hell. I make little lives in my head for these people, like they're sims. I feel like the watcher in the what if Marvel series. Like I'm in spectator mode. It's relaxing, letting my mind wander and be creative in that way. I guess I like to guess the type of people that come to whatever show is playing that night. It's a fun little game I get to play before bed. Pretty soothing after you get used to all the honking and that is all peace and Geck Jackson, that's a nice little email. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah, one of my favorite things about living in a city is you get to watch the world go by. Like just sitting on a bench and like looking at people and thinking about their lives, you know, staring at them real good, thinking about who they might be thinking about their life is like. Yeah, I like doing that too. It's. There's a word for it. It's called saunder. You guys know that word? Let me look up the official definition of this word. Saunder. Saunder is the profound realization that every passerby is living a life as vivid, complex, and central to them as yours is to you. Coined by John Koning in the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, it captures the feeling of recognizing the hidden depths and stories of strangers. That's cool, man. Yeah, I like doing that, too. I like. See, I like looking at people's shirts and being like, what's written on that guy's shirt? What the hell is Patagonia? Is that a real place? Thank you for sharing, Jackson. Let's see here. Okay, that one's way too long. Oh, how about this? Okay, this one. The subject line of this is, what the hell am I doing? Parentheses, Running for public office. Dearest Geck, call me William. I hope this email found you grounded and well. I'm in my 20s and recently married. The build up to the wedding was a lot of stress as we did everything DIY to save money. It was great, but exhausting. Then comes my dilemma. After the wedding, I experienced a big emotional crash. This is common, but I have dealt with it in a strange way. I have decided to run for public office. This hasn't come out of nowhere. I'm very interested in politics, and maybe I would have done this later in my life, but why have I not let myself relax after such a big milestone? I've got this thing where I cannot just be. Do you ever feel this way? I have a lot of projects like yourself, but I feel like you've mastered the art of chilling. I can't do it. How do you do it? Okay, before I start reading this email at all, I. Where have I really given off the feeling that I am. I have mastered the art of chilling. That's not even kind of vaguely, remotely sort of true. I have in no way, shape, or form mastered the art of chilling. I don't really like chilling. I'm like you, Enzo. I can't just be. I don't really like sitting around. I like to do a lot of things. I like to be out there. I like to challenge myself and, you know, keep growing and expanding. You know, I don't think that just. Just chill. I don't like just chilling. You said, I don't regret starting this project, but I can't go back now without a lot of ridicule slash shame and knowing that. Oh, wait, you said I. Okay. I don't regret starting this project, but I can't go back now. So why would you. Why would you go back if you don't regret it? I'm locked into this. Knowing that I'm locked into this process for three to four years is scary. I love you, Gecko man. Big love. Young William I don't think there's anything wrong with this. Young William run for public office. What's the problem? What's the problem, man? You don't need to just chill. You don't fucking need to do anything. Just do. Do the thing that you want to do, man. If this is what you want to do, just do it. I don't have a good cool thing to say about this. I think you should just. Let's do it if you want to do it. It's good to do things. I don't think it's bad. The framing that you have that it's bad to do things, I disagree with. I think it's good. I think it's good. Or the framing, not the. I don't think you have a frame that it's bad to do things, but you have a framing that it's bad to not be able to just chill. Accept it, dude. Accept it and lean into it. I've accepted that I can't just chill. I've accepted that I can't just, like, sit around and, like, you know, being with friends and, like, relationships are really important, but, like, I can't just chill. I also have to, like, do stuff. So I'm with you on that, you know? It's okay, man. It's not a big deal. Do stuff. This is the last one. One is the last one. This is from Nicholas. Subject line, surviving until GTA 6 comes out. Hey, Geck, I was listening to your new Geck mail episode. Oh, this is from a year ago. Oh, this is from way over a year ago. It's from May 19, 2025. Oh, holy shit. Okay. Hey, Geck, I was listening to your new Geck mail episode, and I relate so heavily to your perspective on Grand Theft Auto 6 and this period of time we're living in. Have I read this email already? It's unread on my. Whatever. I'm gonna. Let's just read it. I wanted to comment this on Spotify, but I already left a comment. I too, can say that GTA 6 coming out is what I value the most at this point in my life. I'm 19 years old. You mentioned how you feel included in this big historical event, and you've never been more content with simply existing in a single. As a single individual in this sea of people who are also anticipating GTA 6. Yes, I will say GTA 6 has. It has quelled my existential dread. I talked about this before. It is a good. It's a good, you know, as you get older, Life stops having as many, you know, inherent markers. But GTA 6, it's a big one. I know exactly what you're talking about. It's rare when I feel comfortable with the idea of being just one person out of 7 billion. With GTA 6 though, I feel okay with it, which I think is due to that sense of relatability between all the people who have been waiting for GTA 6 so intensely. It's nice to feel like you're on a team included in a group of individuals who have experienced the same duration of time between GTA 5 and now as I have. It's a feeling of togetherness. I think GTA 6 is inspiring ASF. It's May right now and we have about a year to develop ourselves to create a healthy and somewhat sustainable, stable mindset in time to play GTA 6. GTA 6 is frequently in the background of my thoughts. It acts like a reminder in my mind that I need to lock in. It's an aspiration to be better. Let's really get there. I wish you luck, Lyle. GTA 6, day one. Nicholas. Wow, this was a year ago. My life has not improved since then. I'm eh. There's been vague improvements, but not the ones that I wanted. But there's still time. There's still five months left until GTA 6. One, two, three. Like four and a half. How can I improve my life in four and a half months in time for GTA 6? That's the real question. Okay, thank you for reminding me about this, Nicholas. I mean, you didn't really remind me about it. I, I reminded myself by finding this old email. But we're gonna do things. I'm gonna, yeah, maybe I can lose £300 before GTA 6 comes out and you know, get a. Maybe, maybe I can sweep. I'll think of some better stuff later. That's the podcast, folks. Thank, thank you guys. Thank you guys for listening. I have a couple, I have a new development. I'm, I'm gonna film a special. I'm really excited about it. I'll probably talk about it more on the podcast coming along, but if you are in New York City on August 29, I am filming a special at the, at the Bell House in Brooklyn, New York. Basically, I've been touring for the past like six, not six years. I've been touring for like four years and like my shows are like half material from me and half bringing up the audience to talk. And I decided, I was like, oh, I want to like, I've never put out any of the material from the half that's me. So I'm gonna take all the material that I've been doing over the past like four years of touring and I'm gonna put it into like a kind of, kind of corral it into a little one man show type of thing and then I'm gonna perform it and I'm gonna film it and we're gonna put it up on YouTube and I'm excited for it. If you want to be a part of that, go to therapygeckotour.com and come see my show at the bell House on August 29th. And if you want to see me do stuff in general, I'm probably gonna run the one man show in a couple places. I'll probably run it at my Appleton, Wisconsin show and probably a few shows between then and when I when I'm in Brooklyn. So therapygeckotour.com if you wanna be part of help me figure this stuff out. But that's about it. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for tuning in and I will see all you folks again around the universe. Thank you guys for listening to the podcast. Happy 4th of July. And try not try to stay alive until at least GTA 6 comes out. Beautiful. Thanks everyone. It's called soccer. It's called football. Soccer. Football boy.
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