Therapy Gecko – "LARPING AND DIVORCE"

Podcast: Therapy Gecko
Host: Lyle (AKA The Therapy Gecko)
Air Date: March 29, 2026
Episode Theme: Navigating Major Life Transitions, LARPing, and the Search for Community & Purpose

Episode Overview

In this soul-baring and frequently irreverent episode, Lyle the Therapy Gecko talks to two callers: Chris, a recently divorced man rediscovering himself through sobriety and foam sword-fighting (LARPing), and Finn, an Australian surf lifesaver and engineering student deeply in love with the ocean. The conversation with Chris dives deep into identity, co-dependency, recovery, and finding meaning outside of romantic relationships—especially through community hobbies. Finn’s call is lighter, exploring Australian wildlife dangers and career aspirations in marine science, wrapped up with a heartfelt bit of wisdom for listeners.

Key Segments & Insights

1. Chris: Divorce, Sobriety, and the LARPing Life (04:10–48:52)

First Impressions & Call Vibe

• Lyle immediately feels a "good vibe" from Chris:
  “[...] something about the way that you said those two things. I’m getting good vibes from you.” (04:17)
• Chris shares he’s a new listener but finds comfort in the content during a tough period.

The Weight of Divorce

• Chris reveals he’s in the middle of a divorce after nine years together, separated just a month and a half ago.
  “I’m in the process of finding an apartment, and we’re going to sell the house.” (08:30)
• No kids, but sharing cats—life is being “unraveled.”

The Catalyst – Sobriety and Shifting Dynamics

• Chris was a heavy drinker; getting sober through AA created distance between him and his wife.
  • She said he was more emotionally available when drinking:
    “She would say things like [...] whenever you used to drink with me, you’d be much more vulnerable.” (14:12)
  • Chris: “Whenever I was drinking, I was just miserable, dude…internally, I was fucking dying.” (13:40)
• He self-identifies as “avoidant,” she as “anxious,” with counseling not solving underlying issues.

Reflection on Co-dependency & Purpose

• Chris admits his main source of identity and purpose was “making his wife happy” and that outside interests weren’t prioritized, leading to a feeling of emptiness post-separation.
  • “I did put my purpose into the relationship as, like, that was my purpose.” (27:45)
• Much of his social circle was through his (ex-)wife.

Recovery & Self-Discovery

• Chris is now 1 year, 8 months, and 17 days sober.
  • Lyle: “Proud of you. Not for real. For real. For real. For real.” (24:48)
• He describes difficulties in finding self-purpose:
  • “I just kind of do the next thing in front of me. I still have hobbies…but I don’t feel like I really have a purpose.” (25:12)

The Role of Hobbies and Community – LARPing as Therapy

• Chris introduces his passion for foam fighting (“LARPing”):
  • “[...] the hobby that I recently picked up about a year ago is foam fighting...It sounds very nerdy, but […] it has so many buffs. It’s outside, you’re socializing, you’re getting better at something…” (39:20–39:35)
  • Community has become like family: “People in recovery are also my family...I don’t know what I would do without them.” (31:26)
• Lyle advises moving from “background character” to “pillar of the community” by actively organizing events and adding value:
  • “The key in any scene, if you are feeling like a background character, is you must add value to the scene...” (42:14)
  • “You gotta host the party, it’s the key to life, I swear to God.” (46:44)
  • Chris: “That helps. That helps a lot...I will start volunteering some more in the games and stuff.” (44:32)

Existentialism & Connection

• Lyle shares the insight:
  • “The opposite of depression is expression...the antidote is to be of the universe.” (33:13)
• They discuss how community, action, and contribution are powerful counterweights to existential angst.

Notable Quotes

• Chris: “I wanted to build a life with her...I don’t know.” (29:54)
• Lyle: “Being out and around people is the only thing...the antidote for depression is just like being out of your house and in the universe as much as possible.” (33:13)
• Chris’s departing message: “Keep your head up, things get better...just enjoy what you have today.” (48:35)

Memorable Moment

• Chris, once reluctant to share, opens up deeply. Lyle enthusiastically affirms his “good vibes” and encourages him toward self-leadership in community.

Timestamps of Note

• Divorce revelation: (08:05–08:21)
• Sobriety backstory: (13:13–15:08)
• LARPing & community: (39:22–44:32)
• Lyle’s "host the party" advice: (44:03–47:12)

2. Finn: Life, Surf Lifesaving, Ocean Science, and Australian Dangers (51:29–61:40)

Introduction

• Finn from Australia calls after a shift as a “surf lifesaver” (lifeguard), introducing his girlfriend (also a lifesaver).

Australian “Lifesaver” Culture

• Difference between US “lifeguard” and Australian “surf lifesaver” ("guarding” vs. “saving” life):
  • Lyle: “A lifesaver…implies that something inevitable will happen.” (52:14)

Career Transition: Marine Science & Startups

• Finn, an engineering student, leaves one startup (algae-cleaned wastewater) to start another, focused on marine sensors.
  • Carefully distinguishes from “bullshit AI” startups:
    “Please, please, please, please...tell me it's not like a dumb bullshit AI startup...” (54:35)

Ocean Love & Nature’s Dangers

• Finn feels most alive underwater — “more comfortable underwater than I do out of water.” (56:39)
• Lyle and Finn share wild facts about Australian sea creatures (blue-ringed octopus, venomous fish):
  • “Little kids will be like, oh, this is fucking sick. Let me pick this up. And then just fucking straight up die.” (57:47–58:06)

Wisdom to Listeners

• Finn closes with a quote often misattributed in his friend group:
  • “The tools should feel light in your hands…It shouldn’t feel like a chore to kind of use the tools of your trade.” (60:20–60:56)
• Friendly rapport and encouragement from Lyle to promote the US tour.

Timestamps of Note

• Lifesaver intro: (51:30–52:20)
• Ocean science career: (54:04–55:58)
• Dangers of Aussie wildlife: (56:39–58:30)
• “Tools should feel light” quote: (60:20–60:56)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Lyle on self-discovery & purpose:
  “If you spend too much time in that container…you just kind of find yourself confined to that container. But if you’re in the universe...that’s really great.” (34:55–38:25)

• Chris on existential crises:
  “Half the time, I’m just like, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing…I get, like, these existential crisises a lot.” (20:46)

• Lyle’s actionable advice to find belonging:
  “Once you start to contribute…you now become a part…you now go from kind of a consumer of the scene to a contributor of it.” (44:04)

• Finn’s parting wisdom:
  “The tools should feel light in your hands.” (60:20)

Episode Flow & Tone

• True to Therapy Gecko’s essence, the tone is humorous, lightly absurd, but deeply human and revealing.
• There’s a constant interplay between vulnerability and levity, with Lyle supporting callers and reflecting on existential themes.
• Lyle’s advice is practical, compassionate, and playful — from encouraging callers to “host the party” to existential musings on “the universe” and “the container.”

For New Listeners

This episode is a rich example of Therapy Gecko’s unique charm: anonymous strangers, real emotional stakes, and the comforting absurdity of a psychedelic lizard costume. It’s as much about individual psychology as it is about the weird ways we find connection and meaning in a chaotic universe — even if it’s through foam swords or scientific startup dreams.

Whether you're reeling from heartbreak or facing poisonous octopi, this episode reminds you: put yourself out there, host the party, and remember — tools (and life) should feel light in your hands.