“LARPING AND DIVORCE”

Summary

Therapy Gecko – "LARPING AND DIVORCE"

Podcast: Therapy Gecko
Host: Lyle (AKA The Therapy Gecko)
Air Date: March 29, 2026
Episode Theme: Navigating Major Life Transitions, LARPing, and the Search for Community & Purpose

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Episode Overview

In this soul-baring and frequently irreverent episode, Lyle the Therapy Gecko talks to two callers: Chris, a recently divorced man rediscovering himself through sobriety and foam sword-fighting (LARPing), and Finn, an Australian surf lifesaver and engineering student deeply in love with the ocean. The conversation with Chris dives deep into identity, co-dependency, recovery, and finding meaning outside of romantic relationships—especially through community hobbies. Finn’s call is lighter, exploring Australian wildlife dangers and career aspirations in marine science, wrapped up with a heartfelt bit of wisdom for listeners.

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Key Segments & Insights

1. Chris: Divorce, Sobriety, and the LARPing Life (04:10–48:52)

First Impressions & Call Vibe

• Lyle immediately feels a "good vibe" from Chris:
  “[...] something about the way that you said those two things. I’m getting good vibes from you.” (04:17)
• Chris shares he’s a new listener but finds comfort in the content during a tough period.

The Weight of Divorce

• Chris reveals he’s in the middle of a divorce after nine years together, separated just a month and a half ago.
  “I’m in the process of finding an apartment, and we’re going to sell the house.” (08:30)
• No kids, but sharing cats—life is being “unraveled.”

The Catalyst – Sobriety and Shifting Dynamics

• Chris was a heavy drinker; getting sober through AA created distance between him and his wife.
  • She said he was more emotionally available when drinking:
    “She would say things like [...] whenever you used to drink with me, you’d be much more vulnerable.” (14:12)
  • Chris: “Whenever I was drinking, I was just miserable, dude…internally, I was fucking dying.” (13:40)
• He self-identifies as “avoidant,” she as “anxious,” with counseling not solving underlying issues.

Reflection on Co-dependency & Purpose

• Chris admits his main source of identity and purpose was “making his wife happy” and that outside interests weren’t prioritized, leading to a feeling of emptiness post-separation.
  • “I did put my purpose into the relationship as, like, that was my purpose.” (27:45)
• Much of his social circle was through his (ex-)wife.

Recovery & Self-Discovery

• Chris is now 1 year, 8 months, and 17 days sober.
  • Lyle: “Proud of you. Not for real. For real. For real. For real.” (24:48)
• He describes difficulties in finding self-purpose:
  • “I just kind of do the next thing in front of me. I still have hobbies…but I don’t feel like I really have a purpose.” (25:12)

The Role of Hobbies and Community – LARPing as Therapy

• Chris introduces his passion for foam fighting (“LARPing”):
  • “[...] the hobby that I recently picked up about a year ago is foam fighting...It sounds very nerdy, but […] it has so many buffs. It’s outside, you’re socializing, you’re getting better at something…” (39:20–39:35)
  • Community has become like family: “People in recovery are also my family...I don’t know what I would do without them.” (31:26)
• Lyle advises moving from “background character” to “pillar of the community” by actively organizing events and adding value:
  • “The key in any scene, if you are feeling like a background character, is you must add value to the scene...” (42:14)
  • “You gotta host the party, it’s the key to life, I swear to God.” (46:44)
  • Chris: “That helps. That helps a lot...I will start volunteering some more in the games and stuff.” (44:32)

Existentialism & Connection

• Lyle shares the insight:
  • “The opposite of depression is expression...the antidote is to be of the universe.” (33:13)
• They discuss how community, action, and contribution are powerful counterweights to existential angst.

Notable Quotes

• Chris: “I wanted to build a life with her...I don’t know.” (29:54)
• Lyle: “Being out and around people is the only thing...the antidote for depression is just like being out of your house and in the universe as much as possible.” (33:13)
• Chris’s departing message: “Keep your head up, things get better...just enjoy what you have today.” (48:35)

Memorable Moment

• Chris, once reluctant to share, opens up deeply. Lyle enthusiastically affirms his “good vibes” and encourages him toward self-leadership in community.

Timestamps of Note

• Divorce revelation: (08:05–08:21)
• Sobriety backstory: (13:13–15:08)
• LARPing & community: (39:22–44:32)
• Lyle’s "host the party" advice: (44:03–47:12)

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2. Finn: Life, Surf Lifesaving, Ocean Science, and Australian Dangers (51:29–61:40)

Introduction

• Finn from Australia calls after a shift as a “surf lifesaver” (lifeguard), introducing his girlfriend (also a lifesaver).

Australian “Lifesaver” Culture

• Difference between US “lifeguard” and Australian “surf lifesaver” ("guarding” vs. “saving” life):
  • Lyle: “A lifesaver…implies that something inevitable will happen.” (52:14)

Career Transition: Marine Science & Startups

• Finn, an engineering student, leaves one startup (algae-cleaned wastewater) to start another, focused on marine sensors.
  • Carefully distinguishes from “bullshit AI” startups:
    “Please, please, please, please...tell me it's not like a dumb bullshit AI startup...” (54:35)

Ocean Love & Nature’s Dangers

• Finn feels most alive underwater — “more comfortable underwater than I do out of water.” (56:39)
• Lyle and Finn share wild facts about Australian sea creatures (blue-ringed octopus, venomous fish):
  • “Little kids will be like, oh, this is fucking sick. Let me pick this up. And then just fucking straight up die.” (57:47–58:06)

Wisdom to Listeners

• Finn closes with a quote often misattributed in his friend group:
  • “The tools should feel light in your hands…It shouldn’t feel like a chore to kind of use the tools of your trade.” (60:20–60:56)
• Friendly rapport and encouragement from Lyle to promote the US tour.

Timestamps of Note

• Lifesaver intro: (51:30–52:20)
• Ocean science career: (54:04–55:58)
• Dangers of Aussie wildlife: (56:39–58:30)
• “Tools should feel light” quote: (60:20–60:56)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Lyle on self-discovery & purpose:
  “If you spend too much time in that container…you just kind of find yourself confined to that container. But if you’re in the universe...that’s really great.” (34:55–38:25)

• Chris on existential crises:
  “Half the time, I’m just like, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing…I get, like, these existential crisises a lot.” (20:46)

• Lyle’s actionable advice to find belonging:
  “Once you start to contribute…you now become a part…you now go from kind of a consumer of the scene to a contributor of it.” (44:04)

• Finn’s parting wisdom:
  “The tools should feel light in your hands.” (60:20)

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Episode Flow & Tone

• True to Therapy Gecko’s essence, the tone is humorous, lightly absurd, but deeply human and revealing.
• There’s a constant interplay between vulnerability and levity, with Lyle supporting callers and reflecting on existential themes.
• Lyle’s advice is practical, compassionate, and playful — from encouraging callers to “host the party” to existential musings on “the universe” and “the container.”

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For New Listeners

This episode is a rich example of Therapy Gecko’s unique charm: anonymous strangers, real emotional stakes, and the comforting absurdity of a psychedelic lizard costume. It’s as much about individual psychology as it is about the weird ways we find connection and meaning in a chaotic universe — even if it’s through foam swords or scientific startup dreams.

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Whether you're reeling from heartbreak or facing poisonous octopi, this episode reminds you: put yourself out there, host the party, and remember — tools (and life) should feel light in your hands.

Transcript

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[Caller]

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[Lyle Geck]

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[Lyle Geck]

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[Caller]

Real time updates are available on the iOS mobile app.

[Lyle Geck]

Hey folks, I just wanted to make a quick announcement before we get into the podcast that I have started a patreon [e-mail] Lyle Forever and I have now gotten rid of my Supercast page that used to have all of the premium Therapy Gecko episodes and I have relaunched my premium Gecko offerings to folks that are colloquially known as Gecko legends [e-mail] LyleForever so here's the quick deal. Patreon.com LyleForever For $6 a month you get access to every episode of this podcast ad free. So no ads on the podcast for subscribers of the Patreon. You can link the your Spotify feed or your Apple podcast feed with your Patreon account and listen to the episodes just like you listen to the normal feed. You also get Two bonus episodes, two hour long bonus episodes of the podcast once a month. And then also, you guys know that I've been making these documentaries, going to Iraq, going to Ukraine, going to the gathering of the Juggalos, doing all these things I post, I shoot a bunch of stuff. When I make those videos, I shoot tons of extra footage. And I have pretty much every time I release one of those videos, I take, like, hours and hours of extra footage and I put it on that Patreon.

[Caller]

And.

[Lyle Geck]

And you can get access to all of these things at once for $6 a month. And if you were previously a subscriber on my supercast, I have, alas, discontinued everything going on on my supercast. But if you were currently a member on the supercast, please check your email because you get a free month of the Patreon for being a member of the supercast. So anyway, if you feel like you want to, if you like the show, if you hate the ads, if you want to get bonus episodes, if you want to see more of my Gecko travels, Please go to patreon.com lyleforever and become a premium Geck legend today. Okay, thank you guys for letting me do that. And now let's get into. Oh, my voice cracked. Fuck. All right, before I die, let's get into the episode. Hello?

[Caller]

Hey, is this the therapy gecko?

[Lyle Geck]

Yes, sir. Who is this?

[Caller]

Wow, I'm surprised to get on. My name's Chris.

[Lyle Geck]

Chris. Honestly, Chris, I don't. Like, I. You might think I'm fucking with you, and. But I. Dude, you might think I'm fucking with you, but I really believe what I'm about to say. You only said, like, two. You only said two things to me, but I already like your vibe. I'm not like. Really? Yeah, this isn't a. This isn't like a bit just something about it. I'm actually. I'm actually having a bit of a crisis in this very moment right now because I'm not. I'm not even doing a bit right now. I'm judging. I'm realizing because of the fact that I can tell that I like your vibe after you basically saying nothing, just like two, like, sentences. I can now tell how much of, like, me people are judging based on, like, the first thing that comes out of my mouth. Like, I'm fully realizing how important that, like, first micro impression is. Like, how much information is in that little thing. Because I got so much information about you from you just saying. Is this the therapy gecko? Oh, man, I didn't think I would get on and. And it was crazy. A lot of people. And a lot of people say that. You're not the first person to say, yeah, oh, man, is this a therapy? Even the way. Even, like, you're not the first person to say, is this a therapy gecko? Oh, man, I can't believe I got on. But other people have said that I didn't even clock it. I don't know. I'm not. I swear on my life. I swear on my children's life. I don't. I'm being dead serious right now. Something about the way that you said those two things. I'm getting good vibes from you and I. Not even in a woo woo way. I don't even know what it is. I'm gonna let you talk.

[Caller]

Good, good. Yeah. Well, cool, cool. I'm glad that you get good vibes for me. I hope that continues throughout this call. Yeah. I don't even really know what to say, dude. Like, I've been listening to you for not very long. Honestly, I've been listening to you for about, like, a month or so, but I've just been consuming your content, like, so much over the past month. Just it. Like everyone else says, it's like, it's really gotten me through, like, some really fucking tough times lately. So, dude, thank you for putting out good shit.

[Lyle Geck]

I have two questions. First of all, did I sound insane just now?

[Caller]

No, you didn't sound insane. I don't think you sounded insane. I mean, I feel like a little imposter syndrome because, like, I don't feel like I give a ton of good vibes, but that. I mean, I feel like you. You kind of. I took it as a huge compliment. I'll say that you didn't sound insane. And I totally get what you mean by. By like, being able to read people as soon as you kind of, you know. Yeah.

[Lyle Geck]

Okay. My second question. I'm curious. How did you find out about the podcast?

[Caller]

I saw. I saw a clip on. I think it was like, Instagram or something. Cool. And I just. I don't know. I really related to you a lot.

[Lyle Geck]

Cool, cool, cool.

[Caller]

Yep.

[Lyle Geck]

What's your name?

[Caller]

My name's Chris.

[Lyle Geck]

Chris.

[Caller]

Yep.

[Lyle Geck]

Chris. Dude, what's up with you, man? What did you want to talk about today, if anything?

[Caller]

Dude, there's so much going on in my life right now. Honestly.

[Lyle Geck]

Please.

[Caller]

Well, yeah, this is gonna be live, so let's see.

[Lyle Geck]

Let's start with. Let's start with the first thing that comes to your head, and I believe it will naturally guide us towards all of the things that you want to talk about. But let's just start with the first thing that comes to your head.

[Caller]

Okay. So my wife and I are getting a divorce. And that's. That's been kind of like, the heaviest thing that's been on my mind lately. Mm. Mm.

[Lyle Geck]

How long has that process been going on for?

[Caller]

It's probably. I mean, we got separated about, you know, month and a half ago or something like that. So right now I'm in the process of, like, finding an apartment, and we're going to sell the house and things like that.

[Lyle Geck]

So you guys already live together?

[Caller]

We did. Yes. We did live together for, I guess, like, six. No, five years.

[Lyle Geck]

Five years.

[Caller]

Hold on. No, it was. It was like. Hold on. So, math, it's been a long time. Let's just say like, seven years. Whoa.

[Lyle Geck]

How many. You guys have any kids?

[Caller]

No, we don't have any kids. Mm. We do have cats, though.

[Lyle Geck]

You guys got cats?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Lyle Geck]

How long are you guys together in total for?

[Caller]

9 years.

[Lyle Geck]

9 years. Okay. How old are you?

[Caller]

I'm 35.

[Lyle Geck]

How old is she?

[Caller]

38.

[Lyle Geck]

So. So listen. I mean, listen, Chris. Chris, I. From the second you said, is this a therapy gecko, I never thought I would go on. I was like, I could talk to this guy for three hours. So if you. If you want to. I don't know if you want to. I'm. I'm here. I'm down. If you want to talk. If you want to talk about it.

[Caller]

You know, I've talked to so many people about it already. I don't really want to talk a ton about it. We might get into it later, if that's cool, But I want to talk about something else. Well,

[Lyle Geck]

yeah, well, I. Can I ask you this?

[Caller]

Sure.

[Lyle Geck]

And just because I'm curious what was, like, the catalyst of it, because I'm. I'm only. I'm asking. I guess not. Well, I mean, I'm nosy in all aspects. I guess that's why I do this show. But I'm also just, like. I'm curious what it is after five years of living together, because that seems state. I feel like, just like, in my head, right when I'm thinking about relationships and stuff, I'm thinking that, like, certain. You know, all relationships have kind of kinks and whatnot that reveal themselves over time and either get worked out or don't. And it just seems like after five years, it's like, what else is there left to discover or work out? You know what I Mean, so I'm just. I'm just curious from that perspective. Like, what.

[Caller]

Sure.

[Lyle Geck]

What the catalyst was.

[Caller]

So I'm. I'm generally more like. Like the avoidant type, I guess you would call it. And, yeah, say, you know, she's more like the. The anxious. You know, like, let's figure this out right now sort of thing. So we're. We're trying to. We tried to, like, work through that. And, I mean, I tried to listen to her, you know, I tried to sit down. You know, I tried to change my ways and. And, you know, I feel like I really tried hard to, you know, to listen to her, be there with her. Be there with her through her emotions and stuff. We tried going to marriage counseling for about a year, and, you know, at the end of the day, it was just. It didn't. It didn't really work out. I mean, I know that's very vague. Sorry. But, like, no, no, no, it was not. It was not like a super, like, big catalyst that was like, oh, you know, this is. We're. We're. Okay, you know what? There was kind of a catalyst, I'll say that. Okay. So I used to drink a lot, like, heavily, like, alcoholically. And that was, like, 18 months ago. Well, no, wait, that was, like, I don't know, 20 months ago or something like that at this point. But. So we used to drink a lot together. A lot. And that's pretty much, like, all I did was stay at home and drink. But I recently started going to. To, you know, AA meetings and things like that. And I spent a lot of time in. In those rooms and dedicated a lot of time to, you know, recovery. And. And I don't think she really appreciated it. You know, she would say, you know, she would. At first, she really, like, was very vocal about, like, hey, you're spending way too much time away. But, like, over time, she kind of told me, like, hey, you know, I get it. You're in recovery. Fine. But I think that she never kind of got over that. She. Kind of. A lot of the time she would tell me, like, God, you know, in a roundabout way, she would say, like, God, I wish you would just go back to drinking. You were so much cooler then. You were able to talk to me about things then. But, man, like, whenever I was drinking, I was just. I was miserable, dude. Like, I hated. Hated living. I mean, I didn't show it, right? Like, I didn't. On the outside, I look like a normal human being, but, like, internally, I was fucking dying. Like, so I had to do something different. Yeah.

[Lyle Geck]

Wow. Wow. She. So, in a roundabout way, she told you she missed when you were drinking heavily?

[Caller]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Lyle Geck]

Crazy. Like, what do you mean by in a roundabout way? Like what? Like, what did she say?

[Caller]

She would say things like, you know, whenever we used to drink together or whenever you used to drink with me, you know, you would be much more vulnerable. You would be able to talk to me about things more. You weren't. You didn't shut down. You didn't have this wall up. And, you know, I tried to. Like. And honestly, like, I. Whenever we did get into conflicts, I would have. I would get. I would start shutting down, but I would try to notice that I. I know that I do that. So I tried to. Tried to not do that and try to open up and connect with her, but it was never quite enough for her to be like, oh, yeah, he's. He's trying to do the thing. He's trying to work through this. Like, she just. I think she lost her patience, and eventually she was just like, all right, he's not. He's not. He's not gonna change. He's not. He's not gonna do what I want him to do.

[Lyle Geck]

That's wild, man. Man.

[Caller]

I mean, I don't want to paint her as a villain or anything because, you know, I have my. I have my too, you know?

[Lyle Geck]

So. Okay, so she was. So you're. Okay, so, like, you're an avoidant, and she's anxious. So does that mean, like. Like, was she too emotional for you and that just, like, you just couldn't handle it?

[Caller]

I mean, now she. She definitely got emotional. Like, you know, she would cry, and I would. I would be, you know, kind of stony. Like, I don't really. I didn't really know how to handle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I would try to be there for as much as I could, but I just really didn't know how to. How to handle it. Like, I would be there and be like, hey, you know, is there anything I can do for you? Like, what. What can I do for you? Like, I would look to her to try to help fix her, and that would be. Yeah, yeah. Like, what. What do you need me to do? I'll do anything. Like. And that would. That was. That was my mo.

[Lyle Geck]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I see what you mean. That's a big difference. That was an interesting way you phrased it. I would look to her on how to help her as opposed to, like, having my own plan or thought about. Yeah. And I don't Actually, I don't think that's. Some people just aren't, like, built for. Some people just aren't good with, like, crying or, like, dealing with, like, you know, very emotional people. I feel like it's a. It's like a personality thing. I don't know if it's necessarily, like, a defect. Like, some people just don't have it. Why do you think, like, it took five years for this to, like, unravel? Like, what. What was going on in year five that wasn't there in year one?

[Caller]

I feel like just over time, we. We had more and more responsibilities. Like, when we first got together. When we first got together, we were just living in an apartment together. We were both going to a normal job, you know, And I can't quite. Like I said, I can't quite pin down one thing. I think it was just, like, a culmination of, like. Like, responsibilities around homeownership, the future, like, finances. It was a lot of. It was a lot of, like, external things, and maybe I didn't put a lot of focus or as much focus as I should have on the relationship. That being said, I mean, I. I'm gonna get defensive here a little bit, but, like, I know that I put in a ton of work into the relationship, and I really wish that I could have, like, been enough, in a way. I really wish that it could have been enough because we had a marvelous life. We had a marvelous life together. Like, we have a house, we have cats, we have farm animals and a business together. And, like, so much, and it's just, like, everything's being unraveled now. Hmm.

[Lyle Geck]

So you said you focus too much on external things. Like, you were worried about money and worried about finances and worried about home, and just, like, more responsibilities kept piling up that you couldn't really, like, focus on the relationship itself.

[Caller]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lyle Geck]

I know what you mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was there, like, one person who kind of broke it off, or did it just kind of, like, mutually not work?

[Caller]

Well, she. She. You know, she. She broke it off. She broke it off. Yeah.

[Lyle Geck]

Did you want.

[Caller]

Yeah, like, I. I imagine living the rest of my life with her. I like what you've done, by the way. Like I said, I didn't want to talk about it, and we've been talking about it for a while now.

[Lyle Geck]

Oh, yeah. Sorry.

[Caller]

No, it's fine. It's totally fine. That's why I'm here, you know?

[Lyle Geck]

Well, how long. How long ago was this? Like, have you guys been in contact? Or is it Like, a complete, like, no contact now.

[Caller]

It's kind of just, like, logistical things. She's, you know, she's gotten a lawyer. I don't have a lawyer.

[Lyle Geck]

She's a lawyer.

[Caller]

Yeah. Yeah. Divorce lawyer.

[Lyle Geck]

So did you do a prenup?

[Caller]

No.

[Lyle Geck]

Tight. So what's it. What's she suing you for?

[Caller]

Well, it's divorce. Divorce lawyer thing. She. She. I think she did it to, like, make things simpler as far as splitting stuff. Mm.

[Lyle Geck]

Man. Hmm. So this has been. I'm so. I'm sorry. I lose track of my own brain how this has been. How long since you guys have not been together?

[Caller]

She separated. She took all her stuff on Valentine's Day,

[Lyle Geck]

so. So kind of fresh.

[Caller]

It's been like a month and a half. Yep, bro.

[Lyle Geck]

What's that? What's the month and a half been, like, what's been going on?

[Caller]

Oh, man, it's. It's been very raw. It's been like, oh, shit, like, I'm living alone. Uh, I need to figure out what I'm gonna do going forward. Uh, you know, like, a lot of ambiguity. Like. Like, it's. It's been a very emotional month and a half. Um, I. Half the time, I'm just like, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I get, like, these existential crisises a lot. Like, fuck, what am I gonna do? Life is. Is fleeting. Like, I don't know.

[Lyle Geck]

No, I get what you mean. I get what you mean. Yeah, life does feel a little. A little fleeting. I mean, what were you doing before?

[Caller]

Before?

[Lyle Geck]

Yeah. I mean, you got married. You got. You've been. You were together for. Well, you were there for nine years, so. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. When you were, what, 25?

[Caller]

Something like that? 26. But, yeah. So how do I say? I've already said a lot, but, like, we. We moved around a lot. We. We lived in another state at one point. Like, I worked a regular job. She worked a regular job. Then we moved back to my home state, and we had a business. Ran the business for about here. We ran the business for, like, four years or something like that together. Things were pretty chill, like I said. Like, first time a homeowner. So we were just kind of figuring things out as it came. I. Like I said I was drinking heavily when we first got here. Recently gotten a recovery, so it's like. It's been a. It's been like a. Like a learning process for me to, like, figure out my own, too, because, like, I was numbing it out for so long. And I'm like, oh, this is who I am, you know?

[Lyle Geck]

Yeah. Would you.

[Caller]

I know.

[Lyle Geck]

Did you. Well, what did you. Wait, I'm sorry. You know that that's what

[Caller]

I. I know that. That's like. How do I say. I mean, it's not giving you a very clear picture of what happened before, right?

[Lyle Geck]

No, no, no. Well, I was gonna ask. Okay, so you were numbing yourself out, and then when the numbing went away, who were you? What did you find? What did you discover?

[Caller]

Good question. Well, I mean, I was. I was, like, pretty broken inside. Like, I feel like I just numb to away, like, throughout my entire, entire, like, entire life. I. I'd use video games or nicotine, weed, whatever, to kind of shut that out, you know? So now it's like, oh, now I'm. I'm this guy who. Who kind of just lives. And like, I don't know who, who, who we are after that.

[Lyle Geck]

You're this guy who kind of just lives?

[Caller]

Yeah, bro.

[Lyle Geck]

Who. Oh, okay. Hold on. So no, no, we're gonna, we're gonna do this. What, are you sober now?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Lyle Geck]

Okay. How long you been sober?

[Caller]

Let's see. I've been sober for one year, eight months, and 17 days.

[Lyle Geck]

Oh, that's. That's great. That's. I literally. I could have swore you just started. Okay, cool.

[Caller]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Lyle Geck]

Oh, congrats, man. That rocks. Hell, yeah. Proud of you.

[Caller]

I appreciate it. Thank you.

[Lyle Geck]

Not for real. For real. For real. For real. For real. Hmm. Okay, so as of today, March 28, 2000. Who cares? You feel. Do you feel like you are just a guy who exists?

[Caller]

Some days? Most days. I mean, I still do. You know, I, I don't feel like I really have a purpose, if that makes sense. Like, I, I just kind of do the next thing, like, in front of me. Like, I still have hobbies and things like that. Like, yeah, like, I, I, I love my hobbies. And maybe that was. I'll kind of get into this. Like, she didn't like that I spent time outside of the relationship with my hobbies. So, you know, whenever I got sober, I was like, oh, you know, I want to do something that's active. I want to get out of the house. And she didn't like that either. Spending more time because.

[Lyle Geck]

So you were always out of the house before we.

[Caller]

Well, not always. Like, I spent. So there's. There's this hobby that I do. It's like two times a week. It's Wednesdays and Saturdays, and I would go to it pretty religiously because I loved it. But she did. She would, like, throw that in my face whenever. Whenever. Like, oh, you're not spending. You're not spending quality time with me. You're not. You're not doing whatever. But I would. I would make a conscious effort to take her out on dates. Like, okay, I'm gonna take you out on a date Friday. Every Friday, we're gonna go out on a date. Like, I'm gonna get you flowers. I'm gonna. We're gonna go to marriage counseling. Like, we're going to spend some, like, quality time sitting down with each other, talking to each other, trying to figure out each other's feelings about whatever. But I just don't think that she was. I don't know. She told me at one point that it's like, an energy thing. Like, she didn't feel like I was totally in it. Whereas, like, I'm sitting over here pouring my guts out. Like, what the. What the. I'm totally in this. It was confusing.

[Lyle Geck]

Okay.

[Caller]

Hmm.

[Lyle Geck]

And so in the past five years, you've been living together. You said that you. Where do you live? I'm just curious.

[Caller]

United States. I'll tell you. The state of South Carolina.

[Lyle Geck]

You live in South Carolina? Okay, So the entire five years, did you have any purpose outside of the relationship? Like, why do you feel so purposeless right now, dude?

[Caller]

Like, yeah, the relationship. So, you know, more therapy talk, but, like, super codependent, you know, I. I did put my purpose into. Into the relationship as, like, that was my purpose, like, to try to make her happy, to do everything in my power to make this woman happy.

[Lyle Geck]

Yes. I. Yeah, I understand that being a driving purpose. And look, it's not the worst purpose the world to have, but it's definitely a purpose you want to have, among other things.

[Caller]

Sure.

[Lyle Geck]

You know, did you feel like you had any purpose outside of that? Any purpose about, like. Just like, oh, I want to make this woman as happy as possible.

[Caller]

I mean, I wanted to make enough money to survive. I wanted to, you know, contribute to my community in a. In some ways. Like, I didn't. Not other than that, though. That was my driving one. Like. Okay. I did have, you know, I had a little bit of a goal to. To, like, work on myself to. In order to be a better person for her.

[Lyle Geck]

Why did you love this woman so much?

[Caller]

That's a good question. I mean, her. And I just. Just kind of really kicked it off. She. She was a really. She is a really wonderful person. When she's not angry, she's. She's she's very sweet. We have a lot of inside jokes. She loves her animals. She's attractive. She's fun to be around.

[Lyle Geck]

Yep.

[Caller]

Wanted to build a life with her. Like, I don't know.

[Lyle Geck]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Hopefully the vibe's still good. I don't want to. I don't want to.

[Lyle Geck]

Oh, your vibe?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Lyle Geck]

I take back nothing I said at the beginning of this call, Chris. I take back nothing I said at the beginning of this call. Don't you even think for a second that I do.

[Caller]

Good.

[Lyle Geck]

No, I'm. I'm in. I'm in. Ponderance over your life.

[Caller]

Hmm.

[Lyle Geck]

Hmm. Okay, so now you're like, what the fuck do I do?

[Caller]

Yep. How do you make.

[Lyle Geck]

How do you make money right now? How do you make money?

[Caller]

So I have three jobs right now. I. I don't want to say too much, but, like, I work. I work for. Let's see, I have. I still have that business. I have. I'm working for a startup, and I work for the government.

[Lyle Geck]

Oh, shit. You really do have three jobs.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Lyle Geck]

How do you have time to do anything?

[Caller]

I just. That's all I do is work, basically, and listen to you. But I still. I still make time for hobbies. Like, my week's pretty full, I'll say that.

[Lyle Geck]

Okay. What do you do? Do you have any friends?

[Caller]

Oh, yeah, I have. I have a very. Like, my friends are my family. Like, I don't.

[Lyle Geck]

That's one.

[Caller]

I don't connect them. Yeah, like. Like that group, that hobby group. What? That hobby that I do, it's like. It's that those people are. Are my family. And, you know, people in recovery are also my family. So it's super nice to have those people around. I don't know how. What I would do without them.

[Lyle Geck]

So you've been with this woman for nine years? Right. And then throughout those nine years, have any of your friends, like, been in contact? Like, have it. Like, have your. Do your friends know this lady?

[Caller]

So before. Before I got, like, sober, I didn't have. I only had one friend, and that was the friend that I had from middle school, which was. Oh, yeah. So I didn't have any.

[Lyle Geck]

You didn't have any friends before you got sober?

[Caller]

No, no.

[Lyle Geck]

Oh, okay.

[Caller]

She was my primary social circle.

[Lyle Geck]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Damn. So she was your primary social circle from the ages of 20. It's from essentially the ages of, like, 24 to 34 or.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Lyle Geck]

Or something like that. So my math.

[Caller]

Something like that. Yeah.

[Lyle Geck]

But like, about a decade. Let's Call it about a decade. She was your primary social circle, right?

[Caller]

Right.

[Lyle Geck]

Yes. That's tough.

[Caller]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But now I'm like, in really developing those. Those bonds again, which, again, well, I don't know if I ever really had them, but, like, it's. It's nice to. To go out and like, be with people, just be around people, even if I don't really make. Like, I'll connect with them on a certain level, but I'm kind of like background character sometimes, which is fine. Like, that's like. I just kind of hang out and I get to know these people and be with these people. It's great.

[Lyle Geck]

Being out and around people is the only thing. I mean, not everyone likes doing it, but to me, it's like the, The. The. To me, the antidote for depression is just like being out of your house and in the universe as much as possible, you know? Right. Depression. Depression and existentialism. Really? Really. They come to me late at night and in times where I'm like, not doing anything. And I posted this video about, like, existential depression about a little less than a year ago, and someone made a comment on it. They were like, the opposite of depression is expression. And I was like, that's fucking genius. That's genius. And so I kind of have been kind of since then. Like, I mean, I mean, this is all. This has been a constant of my life, but I've been. It's been a little more pointed since then. If I'm just like, oh, the antidote for, like, existentialism and depression is to just like, how can I be of the universe as much as possible? You know? Like, I could be around people doing things like, like on missions. My mind demanded somewhere, shit like that. So, you know, I mean, it sounds like this relationship, although it was nice, it sounds like it kind of kept you from being of the universe for. For the better part of a decade. Is that accurate?

[Caller]

Yeah. That's. That's so profound. That's so profound. I love that. Yeah. I mean, honestly. Yes, it's. It's very true. Like, it might. I. I was a part of it in a. In a very. In a very contained sense.

[Lyle Geck]

Exactly. Yes, a very contained sense. Which is. Which is fine. I mean, that container, there's a lot of joy in that container. People find a lot of joy in that container. I. I think there's a lot of joy to be found in that container. There's a. Listen, dude, also, by the. By the way, the thing about that container, right? This. This thing about, like, you have your friends and you have your people, but you feel like a background character. There's a lot of trade offs. And I'll explain this of like, you know, you can go out, right, and you can be a part of a big community and you can be valued in that community and you can be really helpful in that community and those people can feel like your family and all that stuff. I don't know if you feel this way, but this is the way I kind of feel where it's like, like there's, there can, there can be, there can be, there can be like people who are like around you in life, but there's a difference between that and like people who are like in your life. You know what I mean? Cause you go to the rock climbing gym or you go to the comedy open mic or you go to the whatever and you have a good time with everyone. But at the end of the day, everyone goes home. Like at the very end of the day, at the very end of the day, everyone goes home to their own little container. And you want to have a quality container still. I wouldn't completely neglect the value of the container, but I think a real, at least to me a real quality life is about like, okay, if you spend too much time in that container and that container is your entire universe, then you know, if you get divorced or, or even if you don't, you just, you just kind of find yourself confined to that container. And then if you're in the universe, that's really great. If I had to pick between 100% in the universe or 100% the container, I'm picking 100% in the universe. If you're in the universe, that's great. The universe is a great place to be. But you might find, depending on the kind of person you are, if you're of the universe indefinitely, you kind of, that's how you wind up going back to your container, being like, oh, I'm kind of fucking lonely. Like everyone else has their lives and I get to interact with other people. My life and these other people's lives, like they're, they're rubbing up against each other and that's nice and that's great, but, but like who's really, at the end of the day, who's really, who's really in my life, who's really in my day to day decisions and in my day to day existence and like, you know, fucking sharing a life with him, you know, And I think it's important to have people who are really in your Life, but also important to balance that with, like, being of the universe. So it's a tricky. It's a tricky balance to have. It sounds like you were a little bit more in your container for the better part of a decade, and now you're learning how to be more of the universe. But this is good. It sounds like this is a good thing, actually. It sounds like this is a good thing. This is a good development for you in some way.

[Caller]

I think so. I think. You know, I think so. Like, whenever I first. I mean, it's still kind of. It's still. It's still very fresh, but, like, ultimately, you know, it's a good change because. Yeah, like, branching out. Being of the universe is. Is ultimately better than being in, like, a super, you know, codependent, potentially, like, negative container, like. Yeah, Yeah. I don't really know what else to say, so.

[Lyle Geck]

Well, let me ask you this. We've been talking for about 35 minutes. I know you said there was a lot of different things you wanted to talk about. The divorce was only one of them. Was there anything else?

[Caller]

Yeah. So I'll talk about, like, there's a. So that. The hobby that. I'll talk about that a little bit, if that's cool.

[Lyle Geck]

Yeah, sure. What is it?

[Caller]

Sure. So the hobby that I recently picked up about a year ago is foam fighting. Like, with foam.

[Lyle Geck]

Oh, you're a fucking larper, dude. You're a larper.

[Caller]

Fuck, yeah. Absolutely.

[Lyle Geck]

That's awesome. That's so cool.

[Caller]

I am, dude, I've just. I fucking love it. Like, it's. It's not like. So the one that I play, it's not. You're not like, role playing per se, but you are, like, using foam swords and foam shields. It's like, almost like a martial art. And it sounds very nerdy, but, like, it's so much. It has so many buffs, so it's like, it's outside. You're socializing. You're getting better at something. You're, like, learning different maneuvers to outsmart your opponent. I just. I've been really on this kick lately, and I love it. It's called bella Gars

[Lyle Geck]

Delagars.

[Caller]

Yeah, Bella B E L E G A R T H. Have you met

[Lyle Geck]

a lot of friends doing this?

[Caller]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I've met a lot of really good people. Like the communities in Deliarto. Super welcoming. Especially the one that I've recently become a part of. Like. Like I said, they. They are essentially like family. Like, everyone's super cool. Like, everyone's super like wanting to YouTube to improve and just we hang out outside of, outside of the group. I mean, it's been super, super nice. So. Yeah. And it makes me taps into that, that part of me that like, I don't know, I used to play a lot of like Skyrim and like Elder Scrolls and like role playing games, and I actually get to do it outside with people. Cool, man. You know, it's, it's really cool. It's really fun events that happen.

[Lyle Geck]

How long have you been doing this?

[Caller]

I've been doing it for, for, for 10 months now.

[Lyle Geck]

Okay, cool. Okay, so you must have, you must have made some like actual friends.

[Caller]

Yeah. That you. Definitely, definitely.

[Lyle Geck]

Okay, let's get into this real quick because I actually have some thoughts about this. You say that you're a background character, right? You don't feel like you're really like. Okay, there's clear solutions to this. Okay, first of all, how do you feel about your status as a background character? Would you like to be less of a background character?

[Caller]

You know, I feel like subtly like I'm moving from the background character to becoming more of like. I don't want to say main character, but like a, like an extra.

[Lyle Geck]

Here's what you got to do. Here's what you got to do.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Lyle Geck]

Here's what you got to do.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Lyle Geck]

You have to start the key. I learned this a long time ago. The key to. In any scene. You're in a scene, right? The key in any scene, if you are feeling like a background character, is you must add value to the scene. Right? So I learned this a long time ago. When I was in college, I had two things. I still love these things, but I, you know, I was doing a lot of stand up comedy and I was doing like super Smash Brothers tournaments. And I would show up at these open mics and I would show up at these tournaments and like, I would know people there and I would have fun and I would make some friends. But I. Again, you, you feel a little bit like a background character. And it wasn't until I started putting on the shows and the open mics or I started putting on the tournaments that I went from a background character to really being a part of the scene. So that's the key in any scene. And it's not, by the way, this is not like a transactional thing. It's just like, you know, you, you, you gotta, you gotta host the party, you know, I'm saying you gotta have everyone in your backyard to fucking hit each other with swords. Or whatever because they're like, oh shit, this is, this is, you know, this is Chris's backyard. They start to recognize you because you've added some form of value to the scene. You now become a part. You now go from like kind of a, a consumer of the scene to a contributor of it. And that is what really kind of makes you a, you know, a pillar of, of this community. So, so if I were you, if I, if I wanted to. To find a way to elevate myself from just a background character to really feeling like these people are like. And this community is like kind of part of my, my. I would.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Lyle Geck]

Start putting on events or just figuring out how you can contribute. Right. You just have to contribute. You can't. It's not a. It's not enough to just show up consistently. You can show up consistently, but you still be a background character. It's. Once you start to contribute is when you elevate yourself from background character to like, oh, I'm a cornerstone of the fucking South Carolina LARP scene. So that's, that's my two cents on that.

[Caller]

That, that helps. That helps a lot. Yeah. Like, I will, I will start like because there's a lot of volunteer opportunities in it too. So maybe I'll start like volunteering some more in the games and stuff. So that's actually a really good idea. Yeah, I, when you say it, when you say, when you say put on, put on stuff like you said open mic and Super Smash Brothers. Like so did you, did you like say, hey everybody, come to my house, we're going to play Smash or did you like put on the show? Like, what, what was that process like for you?

[Lyle Geck]

Well, it's, I mean, it's easy because like in any thing there's always more people that want to participate in the thing than. Than want to put it on. Right?

[Caller]

Sure.

[Lyle Geck]

Like, like, like. I mean, I'll use those two examples. I'll use comedy and I'll use, I'll use. I'll use Smash Bros. It's like there's way more like players than there are tournament organizers. There's way more comedians than there are people putting on the open mics. So in any scene there's always going to be like more people who want to attend events than there are events.

[Caller]

That makes sense.

[Lyle Geck]

So all you. So just like do like, like listen you the. All these, like, all these people, all these LARPER people, like, they're going to want. More opportunities to do their thing. So if you give them more opportunities to do their thing. You start becoming an important part of the community. So it's like. It's very much. If you build it, they will come type of thing.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Lyle Geck]

So, yeah, we got a start of some way, you know.

[Caller]

Yeah. Yeah. I will say. I will say last night that I did. So there's a discord. And I posted like, hey, it's kind of like. It's funny because you mentioned that, because, like, there. This is kind of a. This is kind of a crossover to what you're saying is that last night I posted something in the discord. I was like, hey, who wants to go to this improv show? And that was, like, kind of outside of my comfort zone. Because I'm planning something.

[Lyle Geck]

No, you gotta play the thing. You gotta plan the thing. Get that.

[Caller]

Get that. Yeah.

[Lyle Geck]

Get that deep into your comfort zone. You gotta plan the thing. That's the key to life. You gotta. The key. You gotta host the party. It's the key to life. I swear to God.

[Caller]

So I did that, and I went with a friend of mine. It was just one guy, but, like, we still had a really good time. It talked about life, and with him it was great. So that was just like, one. It's funny that you mentioned that, because I am on that path. I just have to start doing more. But I like that advice. Thank you.

[Lyle Geck]

Chris.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Lyle Geck]

I still think you're a good dude. I liked talking to you.

[Caller]

Yeah, I'm.

[Lyle Geck]

I'm hopeful. I'm hopeful for you in this crazy.

[Caller]

Thank you.

[Lyle Geck]

Yeah, don't get. Just. Just like, listen, man. Don't. Like, next time. Next time you start feeling all existential and crazy, just be like, I gotta. I gotta. I gotta put something on. I gotta. I gotta invite everyone to the improv show. I gotta do what I just start. You just gotta do things. That's the only key. That's the only answer I have to any existential, is to just, you know, be of the universe in the best way you can.

[Caller]

Yeah. I just want to say, like, I really love what you're doing with this podcast. And, like. Like I said, I'm not really, like, a super longtime listener, but probably will be going forward because.

[Lyle Geck]

Thanks, man.

[Caller]

It. This shit is. This shit is really, like, hidden for me. Thanks. So, like, I love what you're doing. You're doing a great job.

[Lyle Geck]

So just wanted to say that now I'm glad. It's cool that more people. I thought. I thought that. I kind of thought that this podcast was like, all right, everyone who has found it has. Everyone who is going to find it has already found it. So I'm glad to hear that new people are finding it. I got to I'm going to start posting more Instagram clips now because of you. Swag. Chris, is there anything else you want to say to the people, the computer before we go?

[Caller]

I would just say, you know, keep your head up, things get better, everything passes, everything's transient, but everything. Just enjoy what you have today. Just enjoy what you have today. That's why I leave people with a computer.

[Lyle Geck]

Thank you Chris. You have a good rest of the night. Get blessed brother.

[Caller]

God bless brother. Bye.

[Lyle Geck]

See Chris, I'm telling you, it's just too he said two things. He said, is this really the gecko? And then he said nice. I forget the two things he said, but I could tell. I could tell he had good vibes.

[Caller]

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[Lyle Geck]

hello.

[Caller]

Hi. How you doing, Lyle?

[Lyle Geck]

I'm doing good, brother. What's your name?

[Caller]

Hell, yeah. My name is Finn, dude. Holy shit. So good to be talking to you, man.

[Lyle Geck]

Finn, what's going on with you? Good, Good surf, Finn?

[Caller]

Not much. I'm a surf lifesaver down here in Australia. I just had a patrol shift, so sitting here with my girlfriend doing some university work, we're both surf lifesavers and. Yeah, kicking back, man.

[Lyle Geck]

Beautiful, beautiful. You said you're both lifesavers? Is that what it's called?

[Caller]

Yeah, we're basically the guys that hang out on the beach and, like, make sure no one drowns or, like, pull people out of the water if they're stuck.

[Lyle Geck]

Oh, wait, in Australia, they call a lifeguard a lifesaver.

[Caller]

Yeah. So it's like surf lifesaver. So you're the. You're the guys in the surf, out on the boards, like on. In the boats and shit like that.

[Lyle Geck]

Wow. That's a lot more. What's the word for it? Godly. I don't know. I don't know what to say. Like, there's such a difference between, like, you guard. Because I. You know what? Actually, here's what I'll say. A lifesaver. It kind of implies that, like, something inevitable will happen. You know what I mean?

[Caller]

Yeah. I mean, hey, dude, it's Australia. Like, you got the. The sharks, the snakes, the fucking. Everything's out to get y. The implication.

[Lyle Geck]

Yeah. Because if you're guarding a life, you're like, we are the lifeguards. It's like, hey, we're just making sure. It's like, we're just making sure that nothing bad happens. But if we're. If you're a life saver, it's like, hey, something's going to happen, but when it does, we'll be there to save your life.

[Caller]

Yeah, we're there. Ready to step in. Holy shit, man. Hey, Gek. What's. I noticed, like, obviously you're asking the questions a lot because it's your show. But like, what's something that brings you joy? Like besides doing this sort of stuff? What, what sparks joy for you?

[Lyle Geck]

What sparks joy for me? I don't have a good answer to that question, man. I mean, the sun. I like the sun. I like working

[Caller]

honestly, fair as fuck. Yeah. Getting out get a bit like vitamin D. We're just going into winter down here, so you guys are going to be going into summer pretty soon. Getting some, some nicer weather or park weather.

[Lyle Geck]

Yeah, I was in Australia like three years ago and there was, it was winter time. But anyway, listen, Finn, enough for the small talk. What's up man? Would you want to talk about.

[Caller]

I kind of want to talk about what I'm doing at the moment. I've just kind of made like a bit of a career, not career shift, but for reference, I'm studying engineering at uni, so I'm in my fourth year, so like coming to the sort of back end of the degree and the last like two and a half years I've been working at a startup with a friend and I have just left that to pursue my own sort of little startup situation.

[Lyle Geck]

Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please tell me it's not like a dumb bullshit AI startup that is just a thing that chat GPT already does.

[Caller]

No, no, not at all. And like, dude, trust me, because like we go through with. Whilst I was working at the other startup, we're doing like a lot of pitch competitions so it was like, would be sat there with other people who were trying to get like grant money or that sort of stuff. And dude, 95% of it was just like, you know, this, this app or this thing that you like. What if it was AI? Believe it or not.

[Lyle Geck]

It's so dumb.

[Caller]

AI as well. It's so dumb, dude, it's, it's very like dot com bubble, like just kind of throwing, throwing it on there. Because it's what's popular. No, the previous startup I was working at was actually really, really cool. They used algae to like fix up wastewater.

[Lyle Geck]

Oh, I like that. Okay, that's real.

[Caller]

Yeah, yeah, a real, real, actual honest to God thing. But yeah, that was pretty cool. And now I'm working on one of my own things, keeping like putting little sensors and shit in the ocean and checking on like environmental data in the sea.

[Lyle Geck]

Dude. Cool. Okay. So that's your startup?

[Caller]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't know. I'm like very, very ocean coded. I love like Diving, spearfishing, snorkeling, all that sort of business. So, like, I don't know, want to kind of set myself up to be working in that industry once I graduate.

[Lyle Geck]

Dude, cool. No. Dude, whenever I hear startup, I just immediately think, like, some bullshit AI app that, like, the world does not even remotely need at all.

[Caller]

Yeah, just like, up the. Up the global water consumption a little bit more. Talk to your AI alarm clock as you wake up. That's. That's what's good for everyone, really.

[Lyle Geck]

Okay, so what do you like about the ocean?

[Caller]

Dude, it's just so good, man. Like, I'm. I'm obviously very biased because, like, Australia, we've got, like some of the best beaches in the world, but just it. I feel more comfortable underwater than I do out of water, you know? Like, it's a. It's a really, like, I don't know, kind of primal, just like, incredibly present feeling that I only really get when I'm, like, gone for a dive.

[Lyle Geck]

Wait, so you dive?

[Caller]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've done, like, scuba. I do a lot of snorkeling. I do a lot of, like, spearfishing with some of my friends and.

[Lyle Geck]

Yeah, cool, cool. And Australia is known for having pretty fucked up creatures. Are there a lot of fucked up creatures under the sea?

[Caller]

There? There are a lot of fucked up creatures, but they're the cool ones, man. Like the ones that are super venomous and, like, kind of crazy. The coolest, weirdest little ones like, like we've got. Do you know about the blue ringed octopus?

[Lyle Geck]

Yeah, I know about the blue ring octopus. There's like that video of a lady holding it and she has no idea that it's like the most poisonous thing on the universe.

[Caller]

Yeah, they've got like. They're kind of colored like those little, like, highlighter pens that you've got in school. And they're like, tiny and look really, really cute and are like fluorescent, like a glow stick. So little kids will be like, oh, this is fucking sick. Let me pick this up. And then just fucking straight up die. They're like. It's crazy venomous.

[Lyle Geck]

Whoa. Are they common?

[Caller]

Not like super common, but there's enough of like a spread between like. There's another fish that just looks like a rock and is also incredibly poisonous and it just sits still. And then if people step on it, it fucking stabs them and then they die. It's crazy.

[Lyle Geck]

Dude, do you know anyone that's been killed by any Australian animals?

[Caller]

Not killed, but I've had, like, friends that have I've got a mate that's got like a pretty solid at like anti venom tolerance because growing up he just got bit by like a lot of snakes and so would just kind of is naturally immune and kind of just fucks around with snakes if we ever run into them, like out bush.

[Lyle Geck]

Oh, wow. How often do you go out the bush,

[Caller]

dude? As much as I can. I'd like. I'm 22. I've like just only had a car for the last like year. Ish. But I've gone like heaps of camping trips and like four wheel drive trips. It like, I don't know, it makes me very, very happy.

[Lyle Geck]

Cool, man, cool. Yeah.

[Caller]

Also my girlfriend is here and she also listens to the podcast and wants to say hi quickly. Oh, I'll put you on. Hi. I'm a big fan and I was not expecting him to actually put me on.

[Lyle Geck]

Oh, hi. Well, what's going on in your life? What's happening with you? Are you, do you, are you like, are you a pilot? I'd like to think you're a pilot. Maybe because one does. One covers the ocean, the other covers the sky. That could be nice.

[Caller]

Oh, that would be so poetic.

[Lyle Geck]

Yeah.

[Caller]

I should have been a pilot.

[Lyle Geck]

Should have been a pilot.

[Caller]

No, I'm also an engineer.

[Lyle Geck]

Oh, okay. That's still real. At least you're not.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Lyle Geck]

Using AI to kill dogs or whatever they do.

[Caller]

No plans on killing dogs yet, but I'll hand you back. There you go.

[Lyle Geck]

What's your name again? Finn.

[Caller]

Yeah, hey, remember that?

[Lyle Geck]

Hell yeah, I did remember Finn. Well, Finn, listen, it was nice having a nice little chat with you. Is there anything else that you wanted to say to the folks before we go?

[Caller]

Yeah, you know, I mean, I've listened to the pod quite a bit and I always, I've always thought of like, what would I say if I did manage to get on and have the little like what I'd say to the people on the computer and there's a quote that one of my friends has misattributed to or our friend group is misattributed to one of our friends grandpas. But it's something that I really love as kind of a compass towards like how you should spend your time. And the quote is, the tools should feel light in your hands. So that being like, it shouldn't feel like a chore to kind of use the tools of your trade.

[Lyle Geck]

I think that's a good way to be. I agree with that.

[Caller]

Hell yeah, man. Dude, love the podcast. You're doing amazing stuff. Keep it up. Come back to Australia, man. When you come back.

[Lyle Geck]

I don't know. I don't know, man. I I, I don't, I don't know if I'll ever come back to Australia. We'll see. We'll see how this we'll see how my us we'll see. If my us tour does well then we'll, we'll go back to Australia. But I gotta see how we do in the US so, so tell the people to go tell the people to buy [e-mail] and if we can sell tickets in the US.

[Caller]

Subscribe make sure you've got notifications enabled to when your city or town is coming up.

[Lyle Geck]

Thanks man.

[Caller]

Lovely chatting to you mate. Have a have a good one and live well.

[Lyle Geck]

Have a good night, man. Take care.

[Caller]

Bye.

[Lyle Geck]

See you, Finn

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[Caller]

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[Lyle Geck]

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[Caller]

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[Lyle Geck]

It's a single company that sells a suite of enterprise apps that handles everything from accounting to inventory to sales.

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[Lyle Geck]

platform in a simple and affordable way. You can save money without missing out on the features you need. Check out Odoo at o d o o.com that's o d o o.com what's up folks? It's Lyle. I am here to end the episode with yes, that's right, you guessed it. A piece of of Geck mail. Geck mail is mail that people send me to the email address therapygeckomailmail.com it's mail that people send me to the email address therapygeckomailmail.com and I read it. I read the mail. I ponder the mail. I become the mail in some ways you could say. And so that's how I how I like to do the show. I like to end it by reading a piece or two of viewer mail. So let's do that. You guys down. Let's do that. All right. This is from Celeste. Subject line I am on a new journey. Hello Lyle. So much has happened in the last couple of months. I thought I would share. I recently broke up with my boyfriend right before Christmas because I was at my breaking point. I've had this burst of freedom ever since then and it's made me so optimistic about life and the world. I can do anything I want. So I decided to apply to a cruise line and I got the job. I've always wanted to work on one and follow in my mother's footsteps. I know it will be tough, but I am excited for the connections I will make and the places I will see. I just got back from training in Salt Lake City. Mamma mia. I did not like Salt Lake City. No offense to anyone listening. I already met a bunch of new people who are super cool and keep in touch. I recently found out I will be in the New England area, mainly Baltimore and Maine. But I am super excited to start next month. I know you grew up in the Baltimore area. Do you have any cool recommendations to see around that area? Love what you do. Never stop being yourself. Toodles. Recommendations for Maryland. There's one place in Baltimore that I recommend everyone go to. If you're in Baltimore. I want to give a shout out to this place. One of my favorite art museums in the world, possibly my favorite art museum in the world is. I just dropped a bottle cap. I just dropped. I was fidgeting with a bottle cap and I dropped it. Okay. Uh, the. My favorite art museum in the world. It's a place called the American Visionary Art Museum in Baltimore, Maryland. Highly recommend. The American Visionary Art Museum. It's this place where it's like, it's art that's kind of made by like vagabonds and like, I don't want to use the term vagrants, but like, it's you. It's. It's art made by people who are not like classical artists. Right? Like you go into a regular art museum and like all the artists are like professional artists, I guess. And these are all just like folks who kind of like maybe they. They. Maybe they, you know, started making shit when they were like 80 years old and going insane or like, you know, they. They died in obscurity. And this is like art that was found of theirs later, but it's kind of art that comes from conventional places and it's really like cool and modern and shit. So I recommend the American Visionary Art Museum. Go get it.

[Caller]

Go.

[Lyle Geck]

Go eat a crab, I guess. I don't fucking know. Go to the. Go to the Inner Harbor. I didn't know that Baltimore is New England, so thanks for letting me know that. Okay, let's read another email. Let's see here.

[Caller]

Um,

[Lyle Geck]

okay. This is from Kirsten. Subject line, child therapist who listens to Gecko Therapist. Hey, Lyle. I have been an on and off listener since 2023. I recently started a weekly routine of listening to your podcast on Spotify and it has made me feel less alone in my career. As someone who talks all day, it is quite a lonely profession being a therapist. I am a school based therapist, which means I am contracted through an agency to have therapists with children to have therapy sessions with children K12 during school hours. Wait, that's weird. I've never heard of that before. They just like. I didn't know that. They hire like freelancers to do this shit. That's weird, right? That's like not normal, isn't the fuck? Aren't like school therapists typically like school staff? I am not a part of the school staff exactly. So there can be a lot of miscommunication when it comes to school schedules and school politics surrounding when I can see my students and safe places I can actually hold sessions. I have been offered a janitor's closet before and I had to advocate for an actual room. Hilarious. Typical therapists keep a caseload of 15 to 30 clients, whereas I have currently 53 and counting shout out to Community Mental health. It can be lonely due to being an outsider in the school system, but in a way it is also lonely because of the secondary trauma you carry that no one else can quite understand unless you are a mental health professional. There's more to the email, but yeah, interesting. Interesting that you can be like a freelance. I didn't know you could be like a freelance therapist. I think that is what has drawn me to the podcast. As a therapist, you're supposed to lead people to their own conclusions, not offer them advice or tell them straight up that they are being an ass or who you think in their life is an ass. This podcast feels like an outlet for me. After a hard day, I don't have the pressure of the person in front of me. You can say what you actually think without the license. And sometimes the people, the problems people talk about on here feel very relatable to what I'm currently going through. It is nice to take a break and think about problems that aren't completely related to children being abused or experiencing suicidal ideation. I think you're doing a great job offering advice, support and comedic relief. Thanks gek. K. Appreciate you. K. I. You know what K. I have to be honest. I appreciate you, but I have to. I truly. You know what's funny? I appreciate you. There's a lot of real therapists who have told me that they listen to the podcast. Although I can't imagine being a real therapist and wanting to listen to this podcast. I really can't. I really. If you're a real therapist out there and you listen to the podcast, I want you to know I deeply appreciate you listening to the podcast. But just from a personal level, I can't imagine like if you're like listening to folks problems all day and then you want to come home and do it more, I guess it makes sense the way that you're talking about it. K is it makes sense being like, oh fuck, I keep hearing all these people's problems and like, you know. Yeah, you have, you like. I mean, I'm just like some fucking asshole. So I can just like kind of say whatever. I don't have a license to do this. So I guess it makes sense if people are talking about their problems and then it makes sense that it would be cathartic to hear somebody who doesn't have to abide by any like actual medical rules give their feedback. So that makes sense. I appreciate you listening, K. I'm sorry that they made you have to do a fucking. I don't know. I don't know. Honestly, doing a therapy session in a janitor's closet sounds like there would be. Like there would be something so funny to me if I was a kid and I had to sit with a therapist in a janitor's closet and do a session. Like I would be amused by that. That it would, it would solve whatever, whatever issue I had. Maybe I could fidget with a broom. I don't know. Thank you for your services or. I always appreciate the real therapists that talk to me or call into this show they're doing. They're doing actual real ass work. So I appreciate, I appreciate them. Thank you. K. Should we do one more? What more do we have? Do we have any more? One sec, let me see if I can find a quick one here. Okay, I've answered this question before, but I'll do it again. Important clarification. This is from Eddie. Eddie says hello. What species of gecko are you? Thanks, Eddie. What species of gecko am I? I'm a therapy gecko. I think officially though, I'm a day gecko because I'm the same kind of gecko as the geico gecko and he's the day gecko. But I do not sell car insurance. A lot of people asked me that and it was funny. It wasn't actually even funny the first time. It wasn't funny the first time. But you know what's annoying to me? I get annoyed at myself for getting annoyed when people ask me if I sell car insurance. Because if you. Because you can't dress up like a gecko and walk around and expect people to not ask you if you sell car insurance. Like, he's just the guy, you know what I mean? Like he's the fucking guy. I don't come anywhere close. I'm not even like the third or fourth most popular gecko in pop culture. He's the most popular anthropomorphic gecko in the world. Not even close to Anyone else. So you can't reasonably expect to be able to walk around in a gecko costume and not have people ask you if you sell car insurance. So when that happens to me and I get annoyed, I get double annoyed because I'm like, I have no business being annoyed by this thing that I signed up. I signed up to have people ask me if I sell car insurance. So I don't mind. Okay. Anyway, folks, thank you very much for listening. Before we go, I want to remind everyone that I am releasing bonus episodes of this podcast over on patreon.com Lyle Forever. You can also find the link in the episode description. That's bonus episodes. I put out two bonus episodes a month. And you can also get access to a Spotify feed. What you do is you link your Patreon with your Spotify page and you can get access to every episode of the Therapy Gecko podcast ad free. Yes, that's right. No more ads interrupting the podcast for just $6 a month. You get two bonus episodes a month. And I also have up there, you know, as you guys know, I went to Tijuana. I went to the gathering of the Juggalos. I went to Iraq. I'm posting my video soon from Ukraine. And all of those travel videos. I have bonus tons and tons and tons of bonus content from those travel videos also on that Patreon. Patreon.com lyleforever and if you were previously subscribed to Supercast, if you were listening to the bonus episodes on Supercast, you are entitled. You can check your email. You are entitled to a free month of Patreon. I am no longer on Supercast. I am doing all of my bonus content on patreon right now. Patreon.com lyleforever and if you are a current super cast subscriber, you get one month free. And it's the same stuff that you were getting on the Super Cast, except now there's more. Because it's basically a combination of the bonus episodes and the ad free stuff and the bonus documentary stuff. Um, here we have. We are. We just released a bonus episode today this morning. Here's a little preview of today's bonus episode.

[Caller]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me and my boyfriend went. Whose name is also Owen.

[Lyle Geck]

Wait, you're dating a dude who's also named Owen?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Lyle Geck]

That's so funny. That's a very call me by your name relationship you got going on there.

[Caller]

Should I get a little TMI? I won't get two TMI on you, Mr. Gag Man.

[Lyle Geck]

That's what this Is that's. That's, you know, go ahead, man.

[Caller]

The question has been posed before. You know, is it weird calling out your own name during sex? Mm.

[Lyle Geck]

Is it?

[Caller]

And I. It.

[Lyle Geck]

Dean.

[Caller]

Hey. How you doing?

[Lyle Geck]

I'm doing good, man. How are you? What do you want to talk about today?

[Caller]

Nothing much. I'm actually currently on vacation with my ex right now.

[Lyle Geck]

You're on vacation with your ex?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Lyle Geck]

Okay. And why is she your ex?

[Caller]

It was just a lot of arguing all the time. I wasn't. I'm not gonna say I was the best, but we planned this vacation a while ago and we were debating on still coming or not, but we thought it would be a good idea to come on this trip and just kind of like have a one last little like time to hang out, you know,

[Lyle Geck]

to hear that full call and a whole brand new hour. A fresh podcast. A fresh podcast that is not available on the public feed. Please go to Patreon.com to become a member today. This has been the Therapy Gecko podcast. Thank you all for listening. I am Lyle Geck bless you all for billions of years and then billions of years after that. And that's it. Thank you guys. Have a good one. Bye Bye. See you next episode. Geck bless. See you guys around the universe.

[Caller]

Therapy Gap goes on the line. Taking your phone calls every night.

[Lyle Geck]

Therapy get goes doing it right, teaching

[Caller]

you how to live your life.

[Lyle Geck]

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[Lyle Geck]

So your team always gets the win. Call 1-800-GRAINGER visit grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

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[Lyle Geck]

So good.

[Caller]

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[Lyle Geck]

I got it.

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[Lyle Geck]

Okay.

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