LOVE IN THE STRIP CLUB GONE RIGHT

Summary

Therapy Gecko: "LOVE IN THE STRIP CLUB GONE RIGHT"

Podcast: Therapy Gecko
Host: Lyle (the Gecko)
Date: January 14, 2026
Episode Summary by [Your Name Here]

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Lyle, the unlicensed lizard therapist, connects with listeners through a series of candid, often funny conversations about love, vulnerability, and unexpectedly deep topics. The central story is about Caesar’s surprising romantic connection with a strip club waitress, interwoven with discussions on emotional risk, heartbreak, and self-renewal. The episode also features Jude, a single dad reflecting on parenthood and growth, and closes with Maggie, who lightens the mood by discussing her asthmatic cat.

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Key Conversations & Timestamps

1. Caesar: "Love in the Strip Club Gone Right"

(02:00–32:00)

How It Started

• Caesar recounts how a routine night at the strip club with a friend later led to an unexpected romance.
• He describes striking up a connection with a beautiful waitress while drinking:
  "She came up to me asking what I wanted to drink ... She had me speechless. Didn't know what to say. She even laughed and chuckled that I couldn't get my words out." (03:45)

An Unusual Lap Dance

• Fueled by "liquid courage," Caesar asks the waitress—not a dancer—for a lap dance.
• Instead of the usual, they end up just talking in the private room: "She tried to do the dance, but I was just there talking to her, just pouring myself out to her, just telling her how beautiful she was." (05:00)

Taking It Beyond the Club

• They exchange real contact info, and she later helps Caesar run errands. Their connection grows as they talk for hours in his car and finally share a delayed New Year's kiss (11:55).

On Emotional Vulnerability

• Caesar reflects on why he felt embarrassed about being so open:
  "I'm sober, and I'm realizing that ... I poured myself out to this chick that I didn't even know that well, and I embarrassed myself." (08:12)

Personal Romantic History

• He opens up about being previously hurt in relationships, making him hesitant to be vulnerable again.
  "When you actually care for someone ... and that someone treats you very badly ... that kind of hurts you very bad to where you tell yourself you're never going to be this vulnerable again." (16:19)

Host Insight

• Lyle reflects:
  "Certain kinds of women are really attracted to a guy who's emotionally vulnerable and honest about his feelings ... it seems the authenticity of that perhaps drew her in." (29:02)

Memorable Quotes

• "If this doesn't go anywhere, I have a good memory of how my New year started." – Caesar (13:00)
• "I want to change. I want to be better. So working on it." – Caesar (32:38)

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2. Jude: The Single Dad's Journey

(35:57–74:50)

Becoming a Father

• Jude describes fatherhood as transformative:
  "People always say, 'the moment I saw my kid, life changed for me.' ... It really isn't bullshit. It's pretty intense. Your DNA gets fucking changed." (38:10)

On Raising a Daughter

• He notes the bittersweet experience of co-parenting after breaking up with his child's mother.
• Talks about his daughter's vibrant personality and early interests: "She loves Bluey ... loves the Rolling Stones ... That's not gonna change for a while." (40:13)

Relationship Breakdown

• The relationship ended amicably:
  "No bad blood, really ... We were barely setting boundaries. You're just starting to understand who the other person is." (61:11–62:52)

On Luck and Tragedy

• Describes his life's duality:
  "I've always said my life is predicated on two very distinct forces: luck and tragedy." (50:38)

Single Fatherhood Reflections

• Jude addresses other single dads:
  "Don't do it, man. Just toughen up ... Life is so long ... you'll be better, bro. Don't let [not having the perfect family] turn into something that it shouldn't." (68:15)

Most Striking Moment

• Paints the poignant scene:
  "That very specific thing of being a single father, where your kid's shit is at your house, but they're not there ... What is this room? Is this a home? Is this a bachelor den?" – Host (70:32)

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3. Maggie: Cat Asthma & Genetic Anxiety

(79:00–83:06)

Comic Relief

• Maggie calls in to share the saga of her cat's asthma and jokes about transferring her own "genetic anxiety" to the pet.
• "She has asthma, and I just spent $500 to get her drug to fix her asthma." (79:22)

Life Philosophy

• Ends with a succinct, humorous take: "Fuck it. We ball, get bitches, get money, don't have asthma." (82:58)

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Notable Quotes by Timestamp

• "The authenticity ... perhaps drew her in, you know? And you strike me as an authentic guy, so I wouldn't look at any of this as anything to be embarrassed of from my perspective."
  — Host (Lyle), reflecting to Caesar (29:02)

• "I hope everyone finds love, true love, and not get taken advantage of."
  — Caesar's closing words (32:21)

• "A new person is born every day. You feel like you're going up against a different child every day."
  — Host to Jude (40:13)

• "There's always that stigma about men's mental health and talking out ... I wanted to give voice to that very niche group of dudes out there."
  — Jude (71:15)

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Episode Themes & Takeaways

• Vulnerability is Powerful: Caesar’s story shows that being emotionally honest, while scary, can lead to real connection.
• Romantic Growth After Pain: Both Caesar and Jude have histories of heartbreak, but each is, in his own way, finding courage to try for happiness again.
• Single Parent Perspective: Jude’s candid account offers a rare window into the challenges and joys of single fatherhood.
• Comic Realism: Maggie’s irreverent energy underlines the necessity of humor in facing life’s annoyances.

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For First-Time Listeners

This episode is quintessential Therapy Gecko: strange, real, unexpectedly moving, and genuinely funny. Lyle holds space for vulnerability, delivers compassionate honesty, and keeps the tone loose. You'll leave with a smile and something to chew on.

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Want to join the conversation?
Follow and call in at Lyle’s Twitch.

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End of summary. For more engaging listener stories, tune in Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

Transcript

[Jude]

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[Host]

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[Jude]

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[Host]

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[Jude]

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[Host]

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[Jude]

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[Host]

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[Caesar]

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[Host]

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[Jude]

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[Caesar]

Hello?

[Host]

Is this Cesar?

[Caesar]

Yeah, Cesar.

[Host]

Cesar, you texted me and you said you wanted to talk about the topic of love in the strip club. Gone, Right?

[Caesar]

Yep, yep, I remember sending that text. Yeah, it was. It was crazy, crazy night. And I don't know how I did it, but. Yeah.

[Host]

What was. What was your night?

[Caesar]

Let's see. Kind of started with the whole thing with the strip club was buddy of mine, he told me he's never gone to the strip club. This was around, I think, Christmas Eve or a day after Christmas. I'm like all right, I got you. Let's. We was off work. Took first time ever taking him to a strip club. I was kind of feeling under the weather. Wasn't really feeling it, but I mean, I wanted him to experience strip club for the first time. So I took him out, he did his thing, and we just went back home. Come the weekend after Christmas, I was feeling much better. I wasn't sick anymore or anything. I was like, all right. I couldn't enjoy myself the other day. I want to go out, have fun by myself. I'm gonna try again. Went to the strip club. Chilling there by myself. And strip club being. I mean, the. I know they don't like being called strippers, but the entertainers, dancers, they. They. There's not much of an imagination. They don't leave much to the imagination. You get to see.

[Host]

Sure.

[Caesar]

You get to see pretty good things.

[Host]

Sure. That's. I think that's. Yeah, that's the point.

[Caesar]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just. I get there, sit at the table. I get a waitress come up to me. They're fully dressed. They're just working as well In. In the strip club. Comes up to me. I'm still sober. Her being so even right now. She came up to me asking what I wanted to drink. And I saw how beautiful she was. And like, just like right now, I'm up with my words. She had me speechless. Didn't know what to say. Whatever. She was like, okay, I got you. She. She understood that. She even laughed and chuckled that I couldn't get my words out. She brought me a drink. She actually brought me her favorite drink. And throughout the night, she was my waitress and kept bringing me more and more drinks. More and more drinks in my system. Got a bit more confident that liquid courage. And I had the brightest idea and the dumbest idea to ask her if I could get a lap dance from her instead of a stripper. I want it from her because she was beautiful to me. Somehow she agreed. I thought I was about to get kicked out or something. She agreed. I'm not expecting to see anything more than just. Just a regular lap dance. Her fully dressed or whatever, because I find her very attractive. Well, I got to see more than what. Than what I was and what I thought. So now, I mean, private room, getting a lap dance or whatever you think it'd be. A lap dance. No, it wasn't even a lap dance. I was just. She tried to do the dance, but I was just there talking to her, just pouring myself out to her, just telling her how Beautiful. She was and everything. And if. If it was through a different situation, a different circumstance, I'd like to get to know her and everything. Just. I embarrass myself.

[Host]

So, okay, so you guys are back in the private room and there's no lap dance. You're just. You're just sitting there and talking with each other. You're pouring yourself out to her emotionally, and you say if this was another situation.

[Caesar]

Different circumstances.

[Host]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, she said. What did she say?

[Caesar]

So, I mean, yeah, it did start as a lap dance, but conversation kept going. But, yeah, I mean, strippers have stage names. Waitress have their real names. And in the beginning, she gave me a real name, and we actually. She wanted to exchange socials and contact information. I'm like, okay, cool, maybe an actual shot here.

[Jude]

But all right.

[Caesar]

I mean, at the time, I'm just drunk, happy. I'm with her, not really thinking, just. I just kept going with the flow.

[Host]

Okay.

[Caesar]

Had a good time with her talking. Yeah.

[Host]

Okay, so was this recent?

[Caesar]

This was, let's see, the weekend after Christmas.

[Host]

Okay, so have you guys. I mean, you said the topic of this was love in the strip club gone, Right? Has. Has this continued to go? Right. Have you been in contact with her? Has there. What's the situation been? Or was it all the matrix?

[Caesar]

So once strip club over here, I'm not sure in other places. Strip club over here closes at 2. And there's only one other place in the city that is open a little after hours nightclub. I go over there and just. I kept partying. I'm. Me and her, we're messaging back and forth. So I invite her out and she agreed. She wanted to come out and everything. But then what's it called? She got stuck because they. They are also the cleanup crew at the strip club.

[Host]

Okay.

[Caesar]

She couldn't come out that night. No problem.

[Jude]

All right.

[Caesar]

Next morning. Okay, next morning, I realize what. What I've done. I'm apologizing. I'm so embarrassed and everything.

[Host]

Wait, why are you. Why are you embarrassed? Why are you. What's the matter?

[Caesar]

Because now I'm sober, and I'm realizing that somewhat remembering what happened last night, I poured myself out to this chick that I didn't even know that well, and I embarrassed myself. I'm telling her all types of things and everything. And like, I mean, everything that I said was truthful, but I embarrassed myself. I was just, I guess, what's it called? Very lost for words. And her beauty just brought it all out. And then I was drunk.

[Host]

Were you Were you telling her like, were you just like kind of like emotionally pouring out to her about her or were you kind of like talking about like your life and whatnot?

[Caesar]

Oh, no, not my life about her like that. I wanted to be with her, date her, get to know her more like just I told her a lot of things about her, of me wanting to know her. And I just met her that night and mind you, she's showing me a lot of things, titties and all of that very first night.

[Host]

I have to. Well, I. Okay, I have to ask. I have to ask. So even though she wasn't a. I guess a stripper, did you, did you, did you, did you tip her in the way that you would have a stripper giving you a lap dance?

[Caesar]

Oh, yeah, because I mean, at the time it's still just. I wasn't expecting exchanging contact information. So I'm still paying for a dance.

[Host]

Okay, you message her and you apologizing for all this stuff and then what does she say?

[Caesar]

She actually wanted to hang out. No way to see me more.

[Host]

Really?

[Caesar]

Yeah, we kept talking here and there. She helped me do. Run some errands. I needed help. I needed an extra driver to pick up a vehicle. She offered to help me out.

[Host]

Really?

[Caesar]

Yeah.

[Host]

So you guys are hanging out and she's running errands with you?

[Caesar]

Yeah, she sent me her actual address, picked her up, run the errands. I took her back home. I'm thinking I'm just taking her back.

[Jude]

Home, dropping her off.

[Caesar]

That's it. Real quick. No, we sat in front of her place maybe over two to three hours just talking in the vehicle. And come New Year's. Yeah, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day. I mean, everyone's out partying and everything. She had to work bartending, no problem. I'm out partying with a few of my buddies and she actually had time to meet me at the after hours nightclub. So we're over there, me and her hanging out. She's meeting my buddies and everything. I mean, she was at work, I was with my guy friends, New Year's, New Year's ball drop or whatever. Like people usually kiss New Year's as soon as it happens. I was my buddies. I'm not kissing none of them. She was at work. I don't know if she was kissing on anyone or not. Maybe one of her girlfriends or something at work, co workers. But once we met up later that night. It's New Year's Day now. Maybe like 4 o' clock in the morning. We're still at this club and I had actually when she got there, like, so what, you got your New Year's kiss yet? I'm like, no, she asked me if I got mine. I'm like, no, I didn't do anything. But she went for it. She. She engaged it and everything. Like, all right, cool. A little, Little late of a kiss, but.

[Host]

All right, okay. It sounds like, you know, it sounds like sounds. This sounds nice so far. So this was New Year's Day. That was about 12 days ago. What. How has. How has this evolved or not since then.

[Caesar]

So kinda in the same city, but with my job, I'm kind of on the road, countryside, city side as well, working on the river. And I mean, she's also going to school, still working two jobs and things like that. So first week and second week of January, it's kind of like message here and there. We're both busy, we're both adults and stuff. We got things going on, but call each other here and there, try to hang out whenever we can and see when our schedules line up. But we both know we're busy. We're not. We're not trying to. She's not all in my business. I'm not all in her business. If. If we may want this to work out, we're gonna try, but it was a good start to the New Year's. If this doesn't go anywhere, I have a good memory of how my New year started.

[Host]

That's nice, man. That's nice. What's your name? Your name. Oh, yeah, you. Wait, you gave me your name. Hold on, let me look at it again. Caesar. Hmm, That's a nice story. Caesar, what's your. You're. I'm curious about you. What's your. How'd you find this podcast? How'd you find me? I'm just curious.

[Caesar]

Oh, years ago, this.

[Host]

But I'm curious.

[Jude]

I don't know.

[Caesar]

I don't know if it was years ago or not. So what's it called? I think I was following at one point. On and off, on and off. But I'd always seen the phone calls, the reels kept coming up and everything. Some of them I like, funny and everything. But then, I don't know, sometimes I'll just be cleaning out my. My followings and everything, but I can honestly say I've unfollowed, I think a few times and followed back on and off. So some people do it and everything, but yeah, I like your content. Content and everything.

[Host]

I've never heard of someone you Were.

[Caesar]

Out of country as well.

[Host]

Oh yeah, well, I've never heard. That's interesting to me. I've never heard of somebody. Like I get like unfollowing someone, but I've, I've never heard of unfollow and follow back and then like that. The back and forth is a new phenomenon to me.

[Caesar]

Not, not, not rapidly like at the same minute.

[Host]

I know now I know you're not pressing the button rapidly, but I know what you mean.

[Caesar]

No, yeah, like at one point I'm like, okay, I'm liking the content. I'm watching all the videos and everything. I like it. And later on just, I don't know, a wave of different emotions or some. Sure. I just clean out all of my followings or whatever. Like, oh, let me just refresh my feedback, get a different feel of things. Then later on, oh, I like your content. I start following again and it just be back and forth.

[Host]

But yeah, so you're on the. So your job takes you on the road.

[Caesar]

Yeah. Whenever they call, when. Wherever it is that they need me, I gotta go.

[Host]

What is the job?

[Jude]

A.

[Caesar]

Mechanic for boats.

[Jude]

Cool.

[Caesar]

Wherever. Wherever our company boat is at, there's multiple boats. But wherever they're at and something's messed up fit, I have to go fix it.

[Host]

So I got some questions. So you really poured yourself out to this waitress lady. How's your love life. How's your love life been in the past? You strike me as a emotionally vulnerable man who, you know, takes chances when he wants to. What's your, what's your love life been like?

[Caesar]

So let's see. Back in high school, high school days, I was an actual lover boy and everything. Try to do everything to, to please whoever I was with. But I'm sure people, some people may relate, some people may not. But when, when, when you actually care for someone and that someone that you're with at the time treats you very badly or does you very dirty or like you find out the hard way that you actually don't mean shit to them or whatever. It's like that changes or kind of hurts you very bad to where you tell yourself you're never going to be this vulnerable again. So I became kind of an. For a very, very long time. But anyone, anyone that I'd be interested in. Like I try a little bit, but I would hold back. I wouldn't be as open as I was with this girl. And I said I was never going to be that vulnerable ever again. But I guess it was just me being very drunk and seeing how beautiful beautiful she was. It just all of that came out.

[Host]

Do you feel like over the years people have been. Have like taken advantage of your emotional vulnerability?

[Caesar]

When, When I start to open up a little more to whoever I'm with, Like, yeah, they, they see, they take advantage of how nice I be or like I try to offer. I try to offer help. I think long time ago, an ex of mine, like an actual. I considered this one an actual ex because we never hated each other. Nothing. We only split up because of work. Work wise, we never had time for each other. And later on we talked here and there and I actually offered her to move in with me rent free. She doesn't have to worry about paying any bills or nothing like that. She can continue working if she wants, or I can take care of her and she can go back to school. I offered that to her. We were in the, we were in the moment of actually trying to move her into my place, but with the person or situation she was in the. With someone else, it backfired on her very badly now, now to this day she's actually still with the person and in a very bad space. She. What's it called? She agreed in the beginning we were actually moving the stuff in and backed out last minute. And now she's suffering for it and no one, no one ever will ever get that offer from me ever again.

[Host]

Interesting. Okay, so. So how did it make you feel? She's like moving her stuff in and then she's like, you know what? No, never mind.

[Caesar]

Well, I told her, cuz she said like we passed up the street from my place and I called her and told her what's, what's going on, why did we pass it up? I'm like, oh, the, the. The person she, the situation she was with, the time, they like, oh, he wants to talk in person, he wants to explain himself such and such and everything. I was like, I was kind of aggravated about it and whatever, like I can't do anything about it. She wants to go talk to him impression. Okay. I told her, I told her it's either today, we do this now or you never see me again. She went to go talk to him trying to see what was gonna happen. She told me to just go meet her, meet up at her grandma's place. I'm at a grandma's place, we're waiting on her. As soon as she pulls up, she says, oh, he wants to try again and everything. I didn't even let her finish. I just unloaded her case from the vehicle. And I left. Yeah.

[Host]

Was that the LA before this waitress woman? Was that the last sort of romantic situation you were in?

[Caesar]

Yeah, I think so. I mean. I mean, there's been other. Other. What's it called, People around that I've been with and things, but it's never. Never been anything deep or emotional. It's just a pastime.

[Host]

Do you feel like you will be able to. Because that's rough. Someone being like, all right, I'm ready to move in with you, and then be like, actually, I want to try again with my ex when their shit is, you know, halfway in. That's rough. Do you believe, Caesar, that you will ever be able to open your heart again?

[Caesar]

I mean, I want to. And all the. What's it called? People I've been with, it's. It's me pursuing them or trying to get to know them. And I feel like if I stop trying, it'll just come to me. If someone actually wants to get to know me, and if I see they show effort. Yeah, I'll open up to that person.

[Host]

That. That's what everyone always says. That's what everyone always says is, like, you, I. I. You know what's fun? People say, like, the minute you stop looking is when it happens. And I would. I would amend that a little bit because you have to put yourself out there and you have to take chances in order to meet new people and whatnot. But I think what they. I think what they mean by that is, like, you know, you can kind of tell. You can kind of tell when somebody wants to put effort towards you.

[Jude]

Yeah.

[Caesar]

Like, let's say. So I usually try to enjoy my. Myself going out alone sometimes here and there. Like, I may go to a bar, have a drink myself, just. I'll look around, see what's going on or whatever, but I'll share. You can't really find love at a bar. People in there may not be happy, or for someone to go into a bar is a reason that they're there. It's not. It's either a good thing or a bad thing.

[Host]

I get what you mean.

[Caesar]

Love. Yeah. But I may go to a nice fancy place, have dinner by myself or something, look around, talk to a waitress here and there, see how their day been. If they continue with the conversation and be friendly or whatever, like, just have an actual conversation, not hit on anyone, see where it goes and if so. And so whoever you speak with at the time and, like, in the actual conversation, they continue. More conversation. More conversation, exchange contact information. Like, don't. I Wouldn't expect them to be sitting and sending me good mornings or updates on things or whatever. Just, like, they'll call here and there, like, hey, dinner.

[Host]

Yeah. You can tell. Yeah. You can tell the way that somebody's texting you or communicating with you, whether or not they want to be.

[Caesar]

Yeah, yeah.

[Host]

And. Yeah. And just try. I think you were getting on the subject. It's just like. Yeah. Not trying not to, like, force, you know?

[Caesar]

Yeah.

[Host]

Caesar.

[Caesar]

What happens? Am I out of time?

[Host]

No, you're not. Oh, there's. There is no. There's no concept of being out of time. I mean, there's death that's being out of time.

[Caesar]

Too many times.

[Host]

Are you still in a car outside of your house?

[Caesar]

Yes.

[Host]

Oh, I forgot. We don't. We can. We can leave this in. But for context. We. Cesar and I had this conversation for, like, the first two minutes of it, and then I realized I wasn't recording, so I asked him if we could redo the first two minutes of this conversation.

[Caesar]

And I thought, you want to tell them now? Okay.

[Host]

No, I'll. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, I'll mention that.

[Jude]

But.

[Host]

99% of this conversation was what you guys heard. But in. I realized in that 1% is where the information that you were. No, no, we're not live. We're just. I just. I, I, I. I just put. I put the phone number on Instagram and I just started recording. But it. I forgot that the information that you are parked outside of your house was in that bit that was lost. So I'm gonna. I'll go. I'll let you get back into your house. Caesar, I appreciate you sharing your story with us, and I think you're gonna have. Something tells me, Caesar, something. Something tells me that you're. You're a. You're a sweet guy and love will find its way to you. Something tells me that. So I'm not just blowing smoke up your dick.

[Caesar]

What's it called? So you saw a message, correct? The one that I said, of course.

[Host]

Yeah, of course. That's why I called.

[Caesar]

You said this is. This isn't live, correct?

[Host]

No.

[Caesar]

Okay. Now, if you want to post clips or shorts of it or whatever, I'm cool with it and everything. If you could kind of leave my name out. That's the thing.

[Host]

Oh, sure. Wait, is your. Is your real name Caesar?

[Caesar]

Oh, yeah. I should have used the fake name.

[Host]

Okay. All right. Yeah, we can do that, Brandon. Let's. Let's put a. You know.

[Caesar]

You know, never mind.

[Host]

Really? Really?

[Caesar]

Yeah. Never Mind.

[Jude]

Put it up.

[Host]

You're serious. Just put. You want Palatir?

[Caesar]

Put it out there. Because I was about to say, like, so that girl from strip club. That's one. And there's kind of a few others that I'm not trying to pursue but are kind of in conversations right now with. So, yeah, whichever is in the least is the one I spend more time with.

[Host]

Okay, I see what. I see what you mean. I. A bit. You're. Are you. Are you worried that this podcast will. Will be found by one of them and influence?

[Jude]

No.

[Caesar]

No. I mean, I like your content. I mean, I did tell you. Sometimes I don't follow, but I follow back. But I like your content. And like, it's weird, it's funny, and it's a guy in a green. In a gecko suit. I like it. It's funny to me.

[Host]

Thanks.

[Caesar]

I don't think that would ever come on to their feedback. Hopefully. Hopefully it does. Like, I want you to get more. More people to come through, but highly doubt it may come across there for you.

[Host]

You're telling me that you don't believe that in general, beautiful women have therapy gecko come across on their Instagram feed?

[Jude]

For sure.

[Caesar]

For sure. I'm sure you get good callers and beautiful women coming through. Like, what's it called from the two that are kind of in conversation with right now? Huh? I don't know. Maybe. Maybe it might come across. It's just two. Two people right now. But.

[Host]

Okay.

[Caesar]

Yeah.

[Host]

All right, I'm gonna. This is. All right, this is. I'm gonna take this as your final answer that we can keep the name Caesar.

[Caesar]

Yeah, yeah. And I'll possibly just. Just burn myself and ruin all chances.

[Host]

But you don't have to. Can I tell you something, Caesar? And listen. I. Listen, Caesar, you don't have to burn yourself. Genuinely. I mean, I'm sure. I think you. My, My. My view of you from the half hour that I've been talking to you is a positive view. So I don't think that this would negatively affect you. It seems to me that women. And this is. By the way, this is like a dude. I read a book about this when I was like, 20. It's called models by this guy Mark Manson. But actually, I think certain. Certain kinds of women are really attracted to, you know, a guy who's. Who's emotionally vulnerable and honest about his feelings and whatnot. And so I think. I think that the waitress at the strip club that night, you know, the thing that I guess you found embarrassing. It Seems as though that actually, like, the authenticity of that perhaps drew her in, you know? And you strike me as an authentic guy, so I wouldn't look at any of this as anything to be embarrassed of from my perspective.

[Caesar]

Yeah, Yeah, I get it. But, like, she is the only one that I kind of. That kind of really knows me, somewhat knows me, but she barely knows. Yeah. There's another part of me, like you said, you see me as a nice, genuine person. That. That's your point. The view of me. Correct. Huh. But other side of me, I'm actually kinda still an.

[Host]

That's okay. I don't. But. But let me. But I. I'm gonna refute this real quick because I don't think that the part of you that's kind of an asshole necessarily negates or refutes the part of you that I am perceiving right now. I think that those two parts of your existence can coexist as you are a dynamic, multifaceted human being.

[Caesar]

I feel like sometimes I'm a. Probably wrong word to use, but I feel like sometimes got autistic because I. You kind of lost me there a little bit.

[Host]

Oh, I lost. No, I feel like if you're artistic, if you were autistic, you would have been locked in.

[Caesar]

Sometimes, but, like, I'm good with words, but sometimes I also up my words as well, and also with the chicks, I'm lost for words as well, so.

[Host]

I get you, man.

[Caesar]

Yeah. Today's also kind of been a long day.

[Host]

See, it's been nice talking to you, Caesar. I'll let you get back into your house. Is there anything. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

[Caesar]

I hope everyone finds love, true love, and not get taken advantage of.

[Host]

Thank you, brother.

[Caesar]

Don't be like me. Don't. Don't be like me either. That's it. Be an actual good person.

[Host]

You're doing great, man.

[Caesar]

Yeah. This year I said I want to change. I want to be better. So working on it.

[Host]

Take care, Caesar. Thanks for sharing, man. I appreciate you.

[Caesar]

Nice talking to you, man.

[Host]

Caesar, that was. Caesar, that was really interesting. I want an update from Caesar. I really do. Like, of all the, like, callers that I would want updates from that I can think of in my head, Caesar is one. Caesar doesn't strike me as someone who listens to the podcast. I think he just follows me on Instagram. But if he does happen to listen back to this, give me an update. Caesar, I want Caesar. I want to hear from You, I. A lot of people, I'm like, don't call me back for another year. I want an update from Caesar. I would be very happy to hear from Caesar again. Call me back in the. Call me back in a month, Caesar. I want to hear how your love life's going. I'm invested in this.

[Jude]

You know how everything's a subscription now. Music, movies, even socks. I swear. If to continue this ad, please upgrade to premium plus platinum.

[Caesar]

Uh, what?

[Jude]

No.

[Host]

Anyway, Blue Apron, this is a pay per listen ad.

[Jude]

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[Host]

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[Jude]

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[Host]

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[Jude]

It's giving Fiscal Queen, it's giving Star, it's giving up to 5% cash back.

[Host]

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[Jude]

Max $100 cash back per month.

[Host]

See terms at Venmo Me Terms, lines.

[Jude]

And tines with Spencer Graves on the iHeartRadio app is a podcast designed for hunters and fishermen to enjoy success. I like the idea of like, hey, put me on a big deer. You know, hey, there's a big deer out here. He's doing this. Be looking for this deer.

[Host]

But I also love doing it on my own.

[Jude]

I love going out there and saying, running my cameras. I love patterning the deer. I like showing up at the right time, checking the wind, knowing what stand I need to be in.

[Caesar]

And then whenever it all comes together.

[Jude]

And it happens, that's the most satisfying thing ever. So when you do it on your.

[Caesar]

Own, it's like, I then can hang my hat. But if I had somebody say, hey.

[Jude]

Pull up on these dots and catch.

[Caesar]

Them right here and you're going to win. And then when I go in, it's.

[Jude]

Like, yeah, it's cool.

[Caesar]

I won the tournament. The ultimate Goal is done.

[Jude]

But it's like, dude, when you find.

[Caesar]

Them and you make them bite, that's the puzzle.

[Jude]

I love it. Listen to Lines and Tines with Spencer Graves on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Call from Jude.

[Host]

Hello?

[Caesar]

Hey.

[Jude]

Hi. Is this Lyle?

[Host]

Yes. Hi. Who's this?

[Jude]

Oh, hi. This is Jude.

[Host]

What's going on, Jude? How's life?

[Jude]

I think it's going well so far. Yeah. I mean, a lot's been happening in the last few months for me, but all things considered, could. Could be. Could be worse. I guess that's something to say, but I think it's going just fine, you.

[Host]

Know, Was there any particular reason why you wanted to call me today?

[Jude]

Honestly, I just saw you were online, and I figured. I have tried calling you before on, like, other fronts that I've kind of already had, I guess, sort of like, topics in mind for. But I just didn't think you were gonna pick up, so I was like, whatever, I'll give a call. And so, you know, I'm a little. I guess. No, that's flummoxed.

[Host]

That's okay. You know, we put this podcast through, like, a background noise removal thing, so I don't know if it'll pick this up, but you sound like you have a baby in the back.

[Jude]

I do, absolutely. Actually, she's just throwing a ball around right now in, like, my apartment courtyard.

[Host]

Is that your baby?

[Jude]

Yeah, it is.

[Host]

This is your baby. Okay, I have a really important question.

[Jude]

Mm, Go for it.

[Host]

Have you seen the movie Marty Supreme?

[Jude]

I haven't yet, no. I've been hearing great things, though.

[Host]

Ah, fuck. All right, well, shit, now I can't talk about it. Okay. It's a great. I can't.

[Caesar]

Why?

[Host]

I can't. The question I had for you would require me to spoil the movie, and so I don't want to go.

[Jude]

You know what? It's all right, though. Go for it. Oh, that, like, it's too important of a spoiler, is it?

[Host]

It is, yeah. No, you should go see this. I actually haven't yet fully talked about. I mean, that's not what this podcast is about, but I haven't talked about yet how much I loved that movie. Everyone should go see that movie. It's a good movie anyway. Okay. And I can't tell you. I can't tell you why. But I can't tell you why I brought up that movie without spoiling it anyway. All right. You have a child. How old?

[Jude]

Like, I might have. She's she's two and a quarter.

[Host]

How old are you?

[Jude]

26.

[Host]

Oh, shit. Okay. Dude, what's it like being a dad? Was it like being a dad?

[Jude]

Honestly, it's fucking insane. Like people always say, you know, the, the moment I saw my kid, life changed for me. And you think it's like a load of shit, but it really isn't. Actually, it's pretty intense. Like you feel this really primal sort of like emotion that you've never really ever thought was even anywhere within, I guess, like reach. And it's just sort of like, I don't know, your DNA gets fucking changed. And it just says like, you have to protect and provide for this little thing for the rest of his life, you know? Like, it's, it's pretty. It's pretty intense. She's, she's yelling at me right now that she doesn't want me to play with her. But even now I'm like, yo, that's. That's kind of shitty. But, you know, I gotta give her a space. And yeah, it's, it's, it's a whole array of emotions because I mean, you know, people, they always ask you, like, are you ready? But I don't think anybody's ever ready for any moment because like, you know, every, every instance that that happens, when it comes down to, like, having a kid is sort of just like absolutely brand new.

[Caesar]

They.

[Jude]

They kind of die at the end of every night and are reborn every morning because they're just constantly fucking changing. So it's like you. You have to take care of a new person every single day and you just have to kind of adapt to this like, incredibly unreasonable force that just has your face.

[Host]

What's your name again?

[Jude]

I'm using my kid's name, but we'll go with Jude.

[Host]

Jude. That was I. You're a. You're a well spoken gentleman, Jude. I enjoyed that description. That was interesting. A new person is born every day. You feel like you're going up against a different child every day. Like it's really. That it's that inconsistent. The personality is, is ever evolving.

[Jude]

Yeah. You know, I will say the, the interest, they'll. They'll stick. And so like, I know she loves Bluey and that's not going to change for a good minute. She loves the Rolling Stones. That's not gonna change for a while. She loves Superman.

[Host]

She. You're trying. She's two.

[Jude]

She's two and a quarter. Yeah, she's really like, aware for her age. I always get people kind of like, generally I Don't know, kind of questioning if I'm lying about her age because she just seems really. And I know everybody goes, oh, my kid's special, blah, blah, blah, blah. But like, I don't, I don't consider. She's not over here, you know, in three years, I don't expect her to be Beethoven composing symphonies like Death. But I do think she's got, I don't know, well, like this, this kind of bleeds into something else that I've kind of had in mind about like I read this series, this book series that really dipped into like reincarnation and shit. And I'm just like, this definitely is not this kid's first rodeo. Like she's been around.

[Host]

That's fascinating. Okay, all right. I have, I have lots of questions. Okay, wait. First of all, okay, put a pin in the reincarnation things. I want to talk about that. But she's 2 years old and she likes the Rolling Stones. Like, does she like the Rolling Stones in the sense that like you put on the music for her and she likes the music, or does she like, does she like, know who they are? Is a two year old conscious enough to understand Mick Jack's existence?

[Jude]

I will say that, that she's, she's aware of, of influence. Like as in sometimes she'll see me try to shoehorn some of my interests into who she is. And that's just like a natural part of it, you know? Like, I don't know, I, I, I guess I, if I had to think of like something, even if it's like, as my new is what I'm about to bring up, we, we go to this little sushi cafe right down the street from us. And I absolutely love the chashu pork that's in that ramen. She hates it. And I always go, you know, trying to goad her like, oh, this is the beef knees. You should eat it, dude. And she's like, no, no, no, no. And it kind of works that way with like, generally her interest too. I mean, she didn't with Batman Forever just because, you know, she, she really likes bright tones and just I guess he's an optimistic kind of kid. And, and I, our, our relationship is sort of like a Batman Superman kind of thing where it's just like she's this bright ray of light that sort of like is just unfettered and shines. And I've always been more kind of a pessimistic, kind of detached person. So it's like, you know, as much as I would want her to love Batman. She won't. So when I put on the stone, she was just like, it was, it was jumping Jack Flash. And she just started moving her little head, her little feet, and I was like, okay, well I'm gonna introduce to you what this band is called. And she, she recently also kind of picked up on Nirvana too. And it's just, honestly, it's just fancy shirts. I think that's kind of what, what helps kind of introduce the concepts of these musical groups. But generally music has always been something that's fascinated her.

[Host]

So you said to me, sorry to interrupt you, but you said you are a generally pessimistic, detached person. Did that, did she change any of that in you?

[Jude]

You know, it definitely took. She did, she did for sure. But it took some time because, I mean she was born and know my, my baby mama, because we did separate, she was always more on the optimistic side of things. But for me, I just like, I'm not even joking. The very first, I want to say like 30, 40 days that she was born. I would stay up till like four in the morning just watching her breathe, making sure she like didn't spontaneously die on me or something. Or, or you know, like sometimes kids will roll over and, or, or you'll hear like, oh, you know, if only someone was awake, they wouldn't have choked on their, like, you know, they drank an ounce too much of milk and they're gone. And it's like, holy, you know, and it bleeds into a lot more than just that. But I will say she's, she's, she changed a lot about me and for the better.

[Host]

You know, it's what happened with your baby mama.

[Jude]

Honestly, it was, it was just kind of the age old story. It's funny, we, we fit a lot of statistics like almost down to the T. And it was actually something that I kind of had in mind where I was like, maybe I should start being safe about like you know, coitus, because I remember.

[Host]

Hold up, hold up. What, what do you mean by. You fit a lot of statistics?

[Jude]

So do you know what the average amount of time that you have to, for lack of better word right now, bang someone to get them pregnant like concurrently through, you know, like a period of time that you're with them for like on, on average?

[Host]

I. My guess, I think it's a lot. Right? Like it's, it's hard to get pregnant. Like people have to try.

[Jude]

Well, I think it, you know what, And I don't remember if I looked up the age range that we were when this happened, but maybe it's very specific to when we were. I believe we were 23 and 22 ish. And it's eight months. And that's exactly when I Googled that. And then, I'm not joking, like, two days later, she was like, yo, I'm pregnant. I'm like, fuck. Okay, wait, you were like, fuck.

[Host]

Okay, okay, hold on, hold on. You were. You were like. You just. You keep unraveling. You were like, fuck. Okay.

[Jude]

But, yeah.

[Host]

Were you having unprotected sex with this lady for eight months?

[Jude]

Eight. Eight months.

[Host]

Just, you know, were you pulling out?

[Jude]

Yeah. Yeah, of course. You know. Right. All over the back. That's what you got to do. But, you know, were you doing it.

[Host]

Were you doing it at the last minute?

[Jude]

No. Well, for the most part, yes. But I'm. I will just say I know when I conceived my child and I know exactly why it happened. And honestly, it's because of the Friends Christmas episode where Phoebe's singing Happy Kitty, Sad Kitty at that cafe.

[Host]

I have no idea what you're talking about.

[Jude]

So there's this Friends episode. Honestly, it could have been any Friends episode.

[Caesar]

We were.

[Jude]

We were traveling, like, to Arizona, because that's where my siblings are. And she. She came along with me, right? Like, we were eight or we were some months in. I point is, it all kind of lined up to that day. Like, when I trace it back, obviously I don't have, like, the exact timeline etched into my head, so I can't give you exact, you know, details on it, but I will say a thousand percent, that day I fell asleep on top of her because I was. I was. We were just, you know, like, we. We got a motel, we might as well use it.

[Host]

And I have to keep all. I'm sorry. I have to. Sorry. Sorry I keep interrupting you, but I'm trying to.

[Caesar]

Okay, you're good.

[Host]

Okay, you're telling me that an episode of Friends.

[Jude]

You're telling me fall asleep on top of her?

[Host]

Okay, so you're having sex with your girlfriend and then while watching Friends. While watching Friends. And then you, what, you come in your sleep?

[Jude]

I. I think I just, like, I. I was so bored and just, like, I guess numb to both, like, the sex we were having at the time as well as, like, this episode of Friends that I was just kind of, like. I really dropped the ball, you know? I was distracted.

[Host]

You fell asleep with your. You like. Okay, so you're having sex with this girlfriend.

[Jude]

Drifting. I was drifting to sleep. I was, like, in and out of consciousness. And I was like, I should stay up. This is happening. And. But I, you know, friends was on in the background. I was like, this isn't doing it for me. I was like, johnson, man. I drove like nine hours.

[Host]

I've never heard of somebody coming in there. Well, okay. Oh, hold on, hold on. You had a wet dream inside of your girlfriend is what I'm hearing.

[Jude]

Yeah, essentially.

[Host]

That's hilarious.

[Jude]

Yeah. Yeah. But I do remember also thinking, like, damn, maybe I should get plan B. And at the time, I didn't know they cost like 8 bucks at Costco. And I was like, I'm not. I just went on a road trip. I'm not trying to drop 50 bucks.

[Host]

I don't have to tell you how much more expensive having a child is.

[Jude]

Than plan B. Oh, a thousand percent. But also I was like, I mean, we've been doing this for how long and it hasn't happened. Like, okay, I slip up once. What. What are the odds the one time I fall asleep while, you know, just a little under prepared that it's gonna happen? And.

[Host]

Okay, so.

[Jude]

I mean, it is.

[Host]

It's okay. So she tells you that she's pregnant and what's your first response?

[Jude]

Straight up, I was just like, I. I don't. I mean, I'm. Mind you, I'm. I'm. I was 22, 23ish around there, right? And I. Sorry, I got a text. I kind of distracted me a little bit. But I was. I was 22 or 23. I was in and out of college at this point in time. I just dropped out again and I was working at a coffee shop. Broke as, like my last, you know, tax thing or whatever was like 20 grand in California. I was like, I can't afford a baby. And also, I don't think that I should be passing my genes down. Like, they're not that great. I'm like five, eight. Most of my family has like a history of mental illness. And I was like. I was in a real Tony Soprano thing where it was like, my son. What. What the. Did I give my shot? But my shitty jeans, you know?

[Host]

So what's your life like now? Like, what do you do? What's the. What's your. You see, you're an interesting guy to me, or, you know, you're a smart dude. I'm curious what's going on with you?

[Jude]

I've. I've always said my life is like, kind of predicated on like two very distinct forces. And it's like luck and tragedy. And for the most part. Recently, it's been just a lot of really cool, lucky breaks where, you know, I knocked her up and I. It's funny. So when I found out she was pregnant in that week, this crazy happened where I. I basically had to save her life. So the end. And we thought my kid died, so it was this whole other thing. I won't get too much into it, but essentially I, I, I got hooked up with a job out in a really big, touristy, rich area. And so now I kind of. I work maybe five, like, maybe 30 hours a week.

[Host]

Wait, how did your. How did your wife almost die? What the happens?

[Jude]

Oh, yeah. So, I mean, it's. It's kind of crazy. So I have. I have various theories on this, one of which is. So, it's funny, she. She had gone to the doctors during the time that I'd met her for this, like, ovarian cyst that she had, and they told her, like, it doesn't matter. Nothing's gonna happen. Like, it can just stay there. It'll be fine. And so then either one of two things was, you know, because my. My sperm was in her, and there was a little thing at two weeks or maybe like, the size of a fucking pinto bean, that pinto being probably like, soap on the cyst, broke it. And so she's. She's a really recalcitrant person. Like, very headstrong and ornery. So I'm not even joking. I remember we were in bed, and she was. She was fucking just. She looked like shit. She looked like she was going to die. And she actually was, you know, like, at one point in time, I was like, you know, are you sure we shouldn't, you know, go to the hospital or something? She's like, no, no, no. Like, it really, really, really fucking hurts, but I'll be fine. And then we both dozed off. And when I woke up, her lips were pale, she was cold, and I, like, smacked her a few times, and she just was unresponsive. And I was like, you know, I finally ended up getting a kind of, like, really drowsy, like.

[Caesar]

Call my mom.

[Jude]

And I was like, your mom's not gonna do. I'm gonna call 9.

[Caesar]

1 1.

[Host]

And you said that, like, you said that exactly like a Anzari.

[Jude]

You're good. Your mom's not gonna do.

[Host]

I'm gonna call nine.

[Jude]

Yeah, no, exactly. That. That's probably how I sounded in the moment too, but I. I ended up calling the ambulance. And this was. So when I say we dozed off, it Was. It was again, like. And I don't remember who started what. I mean, she felt like shit. But somehow like the, the mood came about and that was when. That was when it got really, really bad. Was. And also at that time, it was just like, again, I'm like 22, 23.

[Host]

Dude, stay on track with me real quick. What do you mean the mood?

[Jude]

The mood mad.

[Host]

Why are you guys at the hospital?

[Jude]

No, no, no, no. This was before. Before we knocked out. We. We went for another round and I, I like, again. You're. I think.

[Host]

Wait, Jude, stay on track with me, okay? You. Yeah, this lady. This lady is falling. This. Okay, your girlfriend is like pale and sick and you call.

[Jude]

No, no, no.

[Host]

Did you call 91 1?

[Jude]

I did. A thousand percent right away.

[Host]

Okay, so what happens?

[Jude]

So then they come and they, they take her to the hospital. They have to like, do some crazy surgery and they, they tell me point blank, they're like, your kid's probably dead. And she might. Yeah, they were like, you're, you're. Because it was like a two week old thing. It was, it was a tiny little like very just new form of life again, like the size of a pinto bean. And so they were like, the kid's probably dead. Like, she's lost a ton of blood. We're gonna have to do a surgery. And I remember asking him, like, she'll. She'll make it though, right? Like, at least she'll make it. And they're like, oh, I mean, no promises. I was like, so I'm just like, my kid's dead and my girlfriend might die. That's crazy. You know, but yeah, no, she. She ended up pulling through and then they, they, they ended up realizing that, you know, the kid was still alive, but she, she again was like, basically recovering from surgery and it was like the first two weeks of, of her, my kid even being of any kind of like, existence. So they, they told me straight up, like, probably the next ultrasound it's going to be like 50, 50 whether or not there's a heartbeat or even anything in there.

[Host]

How did that make. Okay, by the way, also the way you were telling that story before when you were. Because you were going in and out of two different stories and it made it sound like your girlfriend got really sick and then you guys started fucking again. You understand?

[Jude]

Yeah, no, no, no. A thousand percent. A thousand percent. And so.

[Host]

Jude, I'm gonna stop you. Okay, so. Okay, so when you're, when you, when you were told that there was a 50. 50 chance, like, like What. How did you feel? Like, what was going on in your. Because I. Because you initially. Because, like, it's an interesting emotional roller coaster to me because you initially didn't. You were, like, you know, afraid to even have this baby. And then when you HEAR It's a 50, 50 chance, like, what do you, like, what's going on in your head?

[Jude]

Yeah, well, I mean, what. When we first got there and they told me it was dead, I mean, it felt like I. I lost. I lost my kid. I lost. And, you know, I. I never. I never didn't want her. I just always wanted to, like, kind of brace her mom for who she was going to have this baby with. So I just tell her, like, hey, I'm up for it. I'm game. But, you know, obviously you're like, eight months into dating. You're not going to disclose everything about yourself at that point. You're barely out of, like, the honeymoon phase. So I was just, like, as blunt as I could be. I told her. I was like, look, I mean, we could do it. And then she was, whatever. Anyway, I felt devastated. I just started bawling and crying and I. I couldn't. I shut down, dude. I was. I was just not even there. It felt like some. Some part of me separated from. From who I was and just would never come back. And then luckily enough, there was a chance, and. And so it was nothing but hope. I was just like. I mean, I think. I think this thing's gonna want to be born. I think it's gonna fight this, you know, and it. And it did, like, against the wands, man. Like, you know, she just kind of is here now.

[Host]

Interesting. All right, let's go back to this thing I put a pin in earlier about. You're. You've been reading a book about reincarnation?

[Jude]

Yeah. So it's. It's a series by Yukio Mishima. It's called the Sea of Fertility Tetralogy. And it starts off, like, really super benign. Like, it's just. I mean, this guy was a far right radical kind of guy who, in his books is trying to. I mean, it's. The whole reincarnation part is. Is a different aspect of who he is or what his beliefs are. But essentially in the book, there's the central kind of figure who. Who chronicles the lives of one of his best friends who comes back to life and dies in, like, ways that just kind of establish who he is. Like, it. It's sort of like his hubris ends up being, you know, it not only a defining factor of him and his, you know, kind of, like, coming back every time, but it manifests in a different way. So, like, the first time he's. He's kind of obviously going through this is friends just like this really pure, dainty, kind of like, noble guy who's just, you know, absolutely just in denial of. Of being anything other than. Than pure is like, of course I don't like this girl. Like, that's stupid. I'm the embodiment of. Of what, like, Pre World War I Japan embodies. And it's this whole other thing with, like, you know, the culture shift and shit.

[Host]

So. So do you believe that, like, your kid used to be someone else?

[Jude]

A thousand percent. I think a lot of us used to be people in other lives before this one. Like, there's. There's certain mannerisms in me that a lot of people kind of, like, jab at, and they're like, what the is that, dude? Why do you do that? Like, you're not. You're not. And it's. It's something as simple as, like, I've always had this proclivity towards, like, bowing my head, like, just slightly every time I, like, excuse myself or. And I'm like, where the. I'm Mexican, bro. Like, and. And. And. And that's the thing. It's like, nobody understands it. They're like, you're. You're weird for that. And there's other things where I'm like, I'm pretty sure I was like, a Japanese dude in my past.

[Host]

You like, it's so funny to me that you read a. A reincarnation book by a Japanese guy, and your conclusion was like, I was a Japanese guy in the past.

[Jude]

I was a Japanese guy a thousand percent.

[Host]

So. So what's next for you, Jude? What's. I. You've given me a bit of a picture of how you got to be living the life that you're currently living. Oh, what did you kind of tell me what happened with the baby mama? So it's. I mean, it sounds like you guys had a kind of a close relationship.

[Jude]

Yeah.

[Host]

Like.

[Jude]

Like what?

[Host]

Yeah. Did you. Did you mention what happened there?

[Jude]

That didn't. And it was. It wasn't anything, like, crazy dramatic. It was just, again, you know, we. We fit a lot of the statistics where it's like eight months. We got pregnant two years after having a kid. We broke up. And it's just like, no bad blood, really. Just generally, I don't think we. We had enough, I guess. I'm not sure if it's like background or foreground information on. On what? A relationship. I mean, we barely had a relationship without a kid, let alone one with a kid. And it's just difficult to kind of, you know, like, learn to. To be a parent and still be a partner when the. That idea of how we were gonna, like, I guess you could say, love each other was never even really fully established. Like, we were. We were at that point in time where you're barely setting boundaries. You're barely starting to kind of, like, really understand who the other person is. But the thing is, you know, we were. We were in a time of transition, too. So it's just like. I mean, I. I loved her before she was a mother. I loved her as she was becoming one. And then once she became one, it's not that, like, I stopped or that she stopped, but just rather that neither of us were able to really, I guess, put in enough time or effort to. To continue to grow that aspect of our lives. It was like, you know, it just. It. It just kind of happened. One day she came home. She was like, I don't think we should be together. And I was like, I don't either. Like, how serendipitous. We should probably break up. She's like, I believe. All right, cool.

[Host]

That makes a lot of sense to me, though, that you have a kid and then you're like, that makes a lot sense to me because you. You guys See, on. So you guys were together for. For how long?

[Jude]

In total, Eight months before she got pregnant. My kid was.

[Host]

So. Okay, so. So it makes sense to me that.

[Jude]

Almost three years.

[Host]

Oh, okay. Okay. So you stayed together for a little bit after the kid.

[Jude]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Host]

Oh, so you were. You were together with the kid for longer than you were together without the kid.

[Jude]

Exactly. That's what. That's what. I mean, it's like.

[Host]

It's interesting, right, because you were like. You had a. Already premature relationship there where you didn't even, like, know each other all that well, and then now you have a kid, and it's like, oh, we got to get to know. Not only get to know the kid, but get to know ourselves with the kid. And it's just like. With all this going on, there's, like, not enough room for you guys to really develop your relationship. I guess that makes a lot of sense to me, like, just, like, logistically.

[Jude]

Yeah, yeah, it was. It was just, you know, logistics, and I mean, a lot of. I guess, like, you know, we. We never found our communication style. I guess you could say was a big. Because there was. And, you know, we've. We've been broken up for about three months now. And the first month we kind of just talked it out. We just hashed out. Like, we. We were both in a place where we wanted to understand why it didn't work out. And I think we. We came to understand that, like, it just. It just was, for the most part, both of us kind of being. And. And a big part of it, too, is like, you don't want to argue in front of your kid. You don't want to put that on them, but you also can't get away from them. So it's like you never have the time to. To really work on compromise. And compromise, people say, is like when neither party is happy or, you know, a thousand percent unsatisfied. So it's like we couldn't work through that progress. So there were times where I would placate what she wanted and she would do the same without fully wanting to, because there could have been some middle ground that we would have found, but we never felt that we could actually work towards it because, you know, we don't want to. We don't want to put. It's a sensitive kid we have, so she. She would have picked up on it. And how terrible is that? You know, like, I guess at the end of the day, I'll go for it.

[Host]

Well, I get what you mean. It's like, okay, in order for us to really understand each other, we have to, like, hash things out. And we don't want to be hashing it. We don't want to be hashing it out in front of the kid.

[Jude]

Yeah, so it's like, you know, if it didn't work out and we. We couldn't really, like, fit each other's molds quite so easily within the context of what life had in store for us, then that's just how shit goes, you know?

[Host]

So what are you up to? What's. Oh, okay, let me ask you this. Okay. So again, yeah, I have a pretty clear picture of how you arrived at your life as it is before we go. And thank you very much for sharing all of this with us. It's been very interesting talking to you. What's next? What's next for you, Jude? Where do you see life taking you?

[Jude]

Oh, right now, it's just kind of focusing on, you know, raising my daughter still kind of, I. I guess reinvesting in myself and pursuing the interest that, you know, unfortunately, when she was younger, you. You kind of have to give up and just generally moving on from here, man. Like, you know, I'm not. I'm not saying, like, oh, I. I need someone to, like, feel complete, but I am in a place where, like, I feel complete enough that it's like, okay, word. You know, I'm just gonna go with the wind and just, you know, be a wave and ride life out and. And see where it takes me. And right now it's like, I feel good, bro. I'm. I got a decent job. I might go back to school. I have. My kid is happy with me, and, like, you know, I recently started kind of talking to someone, so it's like, it's on the up and up. It's. It's just staying positive and being strong for my child and for myself and just. I think. I think there are clearer skies now than ever, and so it's just taking in that sunlight and, you know, canning it up.

[Host]

I'm. I'm glad to hear that. It was interesting the way you described yourself as a life of tragedy and. And luck, and it sounds like you're in a great season of luck, that's for sure. That's awesome.

[Caesar]

Hmm.

[Host]

Thanks for talking to me, Jude. I. I appreciate. I appreciate this. I felt like. I feel like I learned some stuff from listening to your life.

[Jude]

I'm glad you could take something away from, man. And thank you for giving me my 15 minutes.

[Host]

Is there anything else you want to say to the people, the computer, before we go?

[Jude]

Yeah, I guess. You know what I will say to, like, all the single dads out there that feel like right now, you know, maybe you might have just broken up with or have gotten broken up with or whatever the happened between you and your baby mama, and you come home and all your kids is there and your kid's not there, and you go, damn, this sucks. I'm gonna have a beard be a piece of. Don't do it, man. Like, just toughen up. You know, it's. It's. It's hard to kind of get away from the feeling that things are never going to be better or that, like, you've lost something that you'll never get back, but that's still not true. Like, life is so long, and, you know, you've got prospects out there and don't feel that you have to chase after something that. That I guess won't chase back after you or that just wasn't in the cards for you. People always say, like, I. I wish I had a perfect family. And it's like, there. There really is no perfect family. Like, even if you have a nuclear family, like, you got problems. There's drama, there's. And just because you're not, you know, maybe with the mother of your child, don't let that turn into something that it shouldn't, because, you know, it's just the. The loss of. I guess everything that you have as a foundation when you become a father and. And a partner in that sort of way is. Is a great one, that. That's gonna really bring you down. But you can. You can persevere. And, you know, in Herman Hess's Siddhartha, he says, I can think. I can wait. I can fast. And Viktor Frankl says that with any. With any, why there's always a how so. Like, you know, you'll. You'll be better, bro. Don't. Don't let. Not, you know.

[Host]

Victor. Victor. Victor Frankel. Victor Frankl is the. The. The Holocaust survivor guy.

[Jude]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Yeah.

[Host]

I fucking. I've been trying to read that book, dude.

[Jude]

It's. It's so good. Yeah, I have. I have a few by him that I haven't been able to get around to, but he's pretty fucking amazing. All right, let's go.

[Host]

Dude. You know, I know I said we're gonna go in a sec, but. Yeah. The way the picture you. The picture you painted struck me. That's very specific thing of being a single father. Where your kids shit is at your house, but they're not there, and you're just like, fuck, what even. What is. Like, what is this room? Is it. Is this a home? Is this a fucking bachelor den? Like, what the. Like, it's just. That sounds like just a. An interesting, like, mental space to be in. It sounds like you're. You're writing through it, so I'm. I'm proud of you, buddy.

[Jude]

Oh, thank you, man. Yeah, no, I definitely appreciate it. And again, it's for, you know, like, I guess there's always solidarity to be found in, you know, being in different, I guess, groups and stuff and especially, like, online. You always see about single moms and kudos to them and to everything they go through, but there's always that stigma about, like, men's mental health and talking out and, you know, I guess I kind of just wanted to really quickly give. Give voice to. To that very niche group of dudes out there that are probably just like. Because, you know, you. You work. You work and you come home and you. You help contribute towards the kid, and maybe you. You don't have the time to see them. I do, thank God. But I know a lot of people probably don't. And maybe you only have them one or two nights and out of the week, but, you know, it's, it's something. And they're always gonna, they're always gonna love you for that. And even if it, if, if you don't have that constant reminder of them being there at the end of the night to, like, kind of show you what you're working for, I mean, you know, they're still, they're still wherever they are, and you're still wherever you are. And it's very important to just not go the easy way out and, and slowly kind of destroy yourself and be like, well, there's nothing I can do because it was with their mom or they do this or they do that, but it's like, yeah, dude, I, Anytime you get to see your kid, make that opportunity, don't, don't just go, oh, well, you know, maybe I'll just only see him for an hour. Maybe I'll only see him for two. Well, all right, man, it. See him for an hour. See them for two. Take them to the park, you know, do it. Because I know there's some people that are, that make themselves victims where they're like, oh, you know, I, I only see my kid on Monday, and it's like, well, why, why work every other day? And I get tired, and it's like, okay, dude, I do it too. Everybody does too. But that's not a excuse to not, to not, you know, like, I don't know that you can't just, like, play your part by, by contributing money and one day out of the week, like, you know, but put, put, put every effort that you can to be a good dad. Yeah, absolutely, man. Sorry I keep ranting and.

[Host]

No, no, no, no, no, it's okay. I, I, I have a lot of respect for the, for everything you just said. I think you're doing a great job, man. I have a lot of respect for you.

[Jude]

Thank you, dude. I appreciate you too. And I respect what you do as well, because, you know, it. This has helped a lot, for sure. Personally, I just get it off my chest and to, I guess, feel. Feel heard in this very specific way and topic. And you do that for, for more than just me, you know, you do that for every person who calls, and sometimes you, you just give us laughs, and sometimes that's, that's all you need, you know, it's like the, the ridiculousness of it all. Like, today I'm talking About this. Yesterday, I was talking about how I wonder if at petting zoos they make you sign a waiver saying you might get chlamydia, or if they test the koalas for chlamydia before letting them in the petting zoo. And, you know, like, you need a perfect little balance of both taking life seriously and thinking about koalas and chlamydia and.

[Host]

And with that. And with that, I think we'll end the call. Good luck. Jude, man, thank you for sharing, man. I appreciate it.

[Jude]

No, absolutely. Yeah. Thank you. Bless. I guess that's what you say sometimes. I'll say it, dude.

[Host]

Hey, take care, dude. Get blessed, brother.

[Jude]

Yeah, thank you. Bye. Bye. Okay.

[Host]

I like that guy, man. That guy is a real sweet dude. I mean, I wasn't just blowing smoke up his ass either. I really do. I respect him. I say you respect anyone who has fucking. Anyway, like, I do have a lot of respect for anyone who has kids that are, like, actively in their life and, like, taking care of them. Like, it's not easy. It's not an easy pledge to take either. You know, I mean, it's a lot of responsibility. That feels like. Like. I don't know, man. That guy was 26. No, he's about my. He's not that much younger than me, but people with kids, I'm always just like, that's a real adult. I really don't feel. I feel like if. I really do feel like the only way I see myself, I'm like, the only way I feel like, like real adults have, like, you know, I guess, answer to things outside of themselves. So I don't know. I have. I gotta. I got a lot of respect, and it doesn't always have to be a kid, but I got a lot of respect for folks like Jude, you know, doing their thing. Thank you for. Thank you for sharing with us, Jude. Rewards programs are a lot like pop culture. They can be hard to keep up with. But with Venmo's new rewards program, Venmo Stash, rewards are so easy because the more you do, the more you get and you choose the bundle of brands you get cash back at.

[Jude]

It's giving fiscal queen, it's giving star. It's giving up to 5% cash back.

[Host]

At your favorite brands. Just pick a bundle of your go to spots to shop with your Venmo debit card and earn cash back at them. Do more, get more with Venmo stash. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank NA. Venmo Stash bundle terms and exclusions apply.

[Jude]

Max $100 cash back per month.

[Host]

See terms at Venmo Me Stash terms.

[Jude]

Lines and tines with Spencer Graves on the iHeartRadio app is a podcast designed for hunters and fishermen to enjoy success. I like the idea of, like, hey, put me on a big deer. You know, hey, there's a big deer out here. He's doing this. Be looking for this deer. But I also love doing it on my own. I love going out there and saying, running my cameras. I love patterning the deer. I like showing up at the right time, checking the wind, knowing what stand I need to be in.

[Caesar]

And then whenever it all comes together and it happens, that's the most saddest, fine thing ever.

[Jude]

So when you do it on your.

[Caesar]

Own, it's like, I then can hang my hat. But if I had somebody say, hey.

[Jude]

Pull up on these dots and catch.

[Caesar]

Them right here and you're gonna win. And then when I go in, it's.

[Jude]

Like, yeah, it's cool.

[Caesar]

I won the tournament. The ultimate goal is done.

[Jude]

But it's like, dude, when you find.

[Caesar]

Them and you make them bite, that's the puzzle.

[Jude]

I love it. Listen to lines and tines with Spencer Graves on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Host]

As we head into 2026, it's safe to say that 2025 was a year like no other. So much news, so much disruption, and, yes, so much division.

[Jude]

That's why we're wrapping up this season.

[Host]

Of Next Question with a look back at everything that's happened. Things are coming at us with such a velocity, we thought it was important to take a moment, connect the dots to, and explore what it all means. We're summing up the first year of Trump's second term with David Graham on Project 2025, and how many of the goals have been implemented. Richard Haass on foreign policy and the changing world order. Jessica Valenti on reproductive rights and the terrifying consequences of abortion bans. Tina Brown on the year scandals here and across the pond. The President has upended everything from pardons to the press, so we're covering it all. Listen to next question. With me, Katie Couric on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello.

[Jude]

Are you the gecko?

[Host]

I am the gecko. I am the gecko. Who are you? What's going on?

[Jude]

I'm Maggie, and I'm crashing out.

[Host]

Well, you're crashing out. Okay, well, first of all, nice to meet you digitally. Maggie. Why are you crashing out?

[Jude]

My cat has asthma.

[Host]

Your cat has asthma?

[Jude]

She has asthma, and I just spent $500 to get her drug to fix her asthma.

[Host]

That's really nice of you. Did you get her, like, a cute, like, cat inhaler?

[Jude]

Yeah, she's been on the inhaler, but that does not work.

[Host]

You know what's crazy is I would think cats don't even need that much air. They're. They're pretty tiny people, so they don't even need that much air. It's crazy. They can get asthma.

[Jude]

Yeah. I think she just has, like, a will to die. And for me to spend money on keeping her from dying, it's like a fun game we play.

[Host]

Interesting. Why do you think your cat wants to die?

[Caesar]

I don't know.

[Jude]

I think when she was, like, birthed into the world, she got my genetic anxiety, so maybe it's like that.

[Host]

Do you want to die? That's a loaded question.

[Caesar]

No.

[Jude]

I just have genetic anxiety, you know?

[Host]

And you believe that your anxiety is so bad you can pass it on to your animals?

[Jude]

Yeah. When she was birthed into this world.

[Host]

That sucks. Like being a therapy animal, but, like, the person's mental illness rubs off on you. You know what I mean? Like, if you're like a golden retriever. You're like a golden retriever, and you're assigned to make this kid feel less anxious, but instead, the dog is like, dude, this kid's stressing me out, you know?

[Jude]

Yeah, yeah, it kind of sucks. But, like, she. She does enjoy the saltiness of a tear, so I think it's like.

[Caesar]

It's good for her.

[Host]

Does she lick your tears when you get upset?

[Jude]

Yeah, she's like. She's pretty baller.

[Host]

Wow. You feed your dog? No, you're not your fucking dog. You feed your cat your own sadness.

[Caesar]

Yeah, but it.

[Jude]

It, like, makes her stronger.

[Host]

That's powerful. Oh, cat has asthma. I think you're lying. I don't think your cat has asthma. I don't know why I said that.

[Jude]

Dead ass, Lyle. Dead ass.

[Host]

I don't know why I said that. That would be a lame thing for you to lie about. Well, Maggie, you know. Listen, Maggie, we could keep talking about other shit. We could end it right here if you have something else you want to talk about. I don't know if we fully covered the topic of your cat having asthma. If we didn't, we can keep diving into that. I'm going to let you take the floor here.

[Caesar]

Oh, God.

[Jude]

I mean, I think the. The cat asthma has been covered.

[Host]

Okay. Okay. Do you have. Do you have asthma?

[Jude]

I don't think so.

[Host]

You should. You. That should be something that you know or don't. No, no, no.

[Jude]

I'm gonna go.

[Host]

That's not something that you know or that should be something that you know, whether or not that's what I meant.

[Jude]

To say, then I'm gonna say no. For the. For the. Me asthma.

[Host]

Beautiful. Maggie, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

[Jude]

Fuck it. We ball, get bitches, get money, don't have asthma.

[Host]

Thank you, Megan.

[Jude]

Of course. Thank you, Lyle.

[Host]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.