“MY HUSBAND SEXTED A NIGERIAN CHATBOT”

Summary

Therapy Gecko — “MY HUSBAND SEXTED A NIGERIAN CHATBOT” (May 7, 2026)

Overview

In this episode of Therapy Gecko, host Lyle (the Geck) takes calls from a wide cast of strangers, exploring bizarre relationship woes, existential musings, and glimpses into ordinary lives around the world. The episode’s main theme revolves around people dealing with complicated relationships, the search for stability and meaning, and the oddities of human existence — all delivered in the show’s characteristically humorous, empathetic, and slightly absurd tone.

The title story features "Rebecca," whose marriage navigates love, immigration, and a husband's scammy sexting with a Nigerian chatbot. Other callers include a lost musician in wine country, a newly settled dog owner, and a cosmopolitan Belgian blues-bar regular, all honestly sharing their quirks and challenges.

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Key Discussions, Insights, and Memorable Moments

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1. Rebecca: Marriage, Chatbot Sexting, and Immigration Realities

[00:08–21:17]

Story Highlights

• Rebecca recounts how her now-husband confessed to being extorted by someone pretending to be a woman online (a scammer from Nigeria), after exchanging nude photos. She married him anyway, partially for immigration documentation, but also due to their longstanding relationship (together over 7 years).
• Their relationship is marred by infidelity and mutual distrust. During a break, Rebecca herself began an affair with a coworker named “Joey,” and is now left reconciling both relationships and her own motivations.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Rebecca on finding out about the scam:
  “He was like, ‘Well, this is what happened. I’m being extorted for money from somebody who is from Nigeria. What should I do?’ ... It was pretty funny. I thought it was kind of stupid.” (02:33)
• On motivation for marriage:
  “The only reason why it was not a problem was because I was trying to look past the problem. I was trying to get papers, essentially.” (04:13)
• Lyle’s commentary:
  “Damn, bro. And you still need a fucking...marry a crazy guy. You still need to have a horrible relationship to live in America.” (06:52)
• Rebecca’s existential conflict:
  “I don’t know if I’m happy. I’m kind of like, am I settling?” (15:33)
• Lyle’s tough love:
  “If you’re doing this thing where, like, neither of you actually want to be with each other, then, like, you know, have a conversation about it and be like, hey, you want to hang out with these, whatever, London Instagram models, I want to hang out with Joey or whatever. Let’s just do that. And if you could help me out with the papers, that’d be cool, too, you know?” (20:07)

Key Insights

• The call lays bare the often invisible emotional costs and calculations behind “green card marriages” and how love gets tangled with legal necessity.
• Both partners are stuck in mutual guilt, inertia, and a lack of true desire to repair the marriage, but can’t let go – out of habit, necessity, or unspoken hope that things might revive.
• Host Lyle’s pragmatic absurdism offers Rebecca more existential clarity than practical solutions, nonetheless validating her conflicting feelings.

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2. Joe: Lost Musician, Wine Country, and Existential Musings

[21:32–39:58]

Story Highlights

• Joe, a self-described “average guy” and musician on a getaway with his girlfriend, calls in while lost in Petaluma, California — his girlfriend’s phone is dead, and he’s halfway through a joint while (unsuccessfully) searching bookstores.
• Joe reflects on his relationship, his hermit nature, and dreams of musical fame with his band “Rotten Dog.” The call is freewheeling and surreal, with stoner wisdom and infectious earnestness.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Joe on his relationship:
  “We met in high school...she slid in my DMs before we actually first met. Which is crazy because normally, like, wouldn’t it be the other way around?” (26:15)
• On music and redemption:
  “Dude, it’s gonna sound so corny, but it was honestly my girlfriend [who changed me]. And my cat. Dude, I have a little baby cat that I love.” (33:27)
• On hope and existence:
  “Dude, because we are an ant. Right now, we’re just ants on this planet. Like, we could be on Neptune being water people, but we’re on Earth right now. Being human people.” (34:09)

Key Insights

• The segment captures the aimless, rambling charm of young adulthood — lost physically, musically, emotionally, but full of hope and affection.
• Joe’s relationship anchors him, even as he confesses to a chaotic upbringing and past substance abuse.
• Lyle supports his band’s dreams: “I followed you, Rotten Dog...I’m excited to see what the hell this mask is.” (39:05)

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3. Brett: Finding Contentment in Simplicity

[41:02–56:43]

Story Highlights

• Brett, on a work break after trying overpriced hot chicken, discusses with Lyle how he and his circle of 30-something friends are discovering joy in routine and simple pleasures — gardening, watching pets play, and feeling a sense of real “adulthood.”
• He ties this appreciation for simplicity to a period of personal and family crisis: his dog’s emergency, his father-in-law’s strokes, and his mother’s cancer diagnosis, which threw life’s priorities into stark relief.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Brett on stability:
  “I just moved recently, and I have a bigger yard...I started a little garden, and I water those plants, and then I watch my dog run around, and it’s frigging sweet.” (42:57)
• Lyle on future aspiration:
  “It always feels...it feels better to feel like a real person than it does to be, like, I don’t know, a vagrant or whatever, you know. Like, you see like a 56-year-old guy and he’s like eating some yogurt, he’s looking at his watch — like, this is a real guy.” (49:21)
• Brett’s advice:
  “Go get some bananas, put them in your house, look at them. Eat one of them. Just choose to have a good day.” (56:06)

Key Insights

• The call highlights how personal hardships can prompt people to slow down and find gratitude in ordinary moments.
• The “banana on the shelf” metaphor becomes a recurring theme representing grounding, peace, and simple joys.

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4. Peter: The Man of Ghent, Belgium — Jazz Bars and Cultural Openness

[57:15–71:32]

Story Highlights

• Peter calls in from a blues jam at his regular bar in Ghent, Belgium, sharing thoughts on local culture, making friends, and the joys of live music.
• Conversation covers differences between Belgians and other cultures, the peculiarities of Belgium’s government, and the international language of jazz and roots music.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Belgian social steps:
  “You need to take like 15 steps until you get to know somebody. And you cannot skip a step because otherwise they’ll kind of find you weird or they will stop talking to you.” (65:17)
• On American travelers:
  “The Americans actually were some of the nicest people I’ve met, some of the most talkative...You have your government, but that doesn’t mean that it’s its people, you know?” (63:04)
• Advice for listeners:
  “Just trust your gut. And if a lot of people love each other, the world would be a better place to live.” (71:13)

Key Insights

• Peter’s window into Belgian life is friendly and open, showing the universality of music, connection, and small-town community.
• His gentle musings and dedication of a gecko-painted guitar add to the episode’s whimsical, world-spanning feel.

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Notable Quotes & Time Stamps

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|-----------|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:33 | Rebecca | “He was like, ‘Well, this is what happened. I’m being extorted for money from somebody who is from Nigeria.'”| | 06:52 | Lyle | “Damn, bro. And you still need a fucking…marry a crazy guy. You still need to have a horrible relationship…” | | 15:33 | Rebecca | “I don’t know if I’m happy. I’m kind of like, am I settling?” | | 20:07 | Lyle | “…let’s just do that. And if you could help me out with the papers, that’d be cool, too, you know?” | | 26:15 | Joe | “She slid in my DMs before we actually first met. Which is crazy because normally…wouldn’t it be the other way around?”| | 34:09 | Joe | “We could be on Neptune being water people, but we’re on Earth right now. Being human people.” | | 42:57 | Brett | “I started a little garden…watch my dog run around, and it’s frigging sweet.” | | 49:21 | Lyle | “…a 56-year-old guy…eating some yogurt, he’s looking at his watch — like, this is a real guy.” | | 56:06 | Brett | “Go get some bananas, put them in your house, look at them. Eat one of them. Just choose to have a good day.”| | 65:17 | Peter | “You need to take like 15 steps until you get to know somebody. And you cannot skip a step…” | | 63:04 | Peter | “The Americans actually were some of the nicest people I’ve met…” | | 71:13 | Peter | “Just trust your gut. And if a lot of people love each other, the world would be a better place to live.” |

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Episode Structure & Key Segments

• [00:08–21:17] Rebecca: Relationships, Immigration, and Sexting Scams
• [21:32–39:58] Joe: Lost in Petaluma — Music, Purpose, and Existential Riffs
• [41:02–56:43] Brett: Finding Joy and Bananas in Adult Stability
• [57:15–71:32] Peter: Jazz Bars, Belgian Culture, and Worldly Connection

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Tone & Style

• Conversational, irreverent, and gently absurd. Lyle’s lizard-psychologist persona creates a space for naked truth and offbeat humor.
• Empathetic and nonjudgmental. While dispensing little in terms of concrete advice, Lyle consistently validates and reflects back the caller’s feelings, letting them hear themselves more clearly.
• Philosophical undercurrent. Bananas, jazz bars, and even Nigerian scams become jumping-off points for existential questions about home, meaning, love, and belonging.

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Summary Takeaways

• Real connection and inner peace often come from simple, small things — but reaching that serenity is often messy.
• People everywhere are improvising their way through complicated, sometimes surreal problems — whether around love, immigration, or self-acceptance.
• The show, at its best, is about listening closely, finding humor in the struggle, and realizing that everyone is just “existing on the phone together” for a little while.

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Closing Listener Advice:

• “Just trust your gut. And if a lot of people love each other, the world would be a better place to live.” (Peter, 71:13)

Transcript

[A]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[B]

Guaranteed Human.

[C]

Hello.

[B]

Hey, what's up? What's your name?

[C]

We're gonna go by Rebecca today.

[B]

Rebecca, what's going on? How's life?

[C]

You know, life in. I guess.

[B]

What brings you to the therapy show

[C]

so much? I think I've texted you a million things, so I. I don't know. I don't know which one you want to talk about. I'm down to talk about any of them. I think the most recent was, like, me being angry at another person on the podcast.

[B]

Who? Who on the podcast were you angry at?

[C]

That guy Jose. He was just, like, lying to you and then making you stay on the call, and I was like, what is. Why is he doing all this?

[B]

Dude, it's so funny. First of all, shout out Jose. Jose's a legend. Jose's a hero. But for some reason, so, like, it's so random. That was a phone call about absolutely nothing, and it has gotten way more reception than any phone call recently about anything. Yeah, no, Jose was a good guy. I don't know. It was. I mean, people were mad at me. They thought I was being a dick. I was just having a conversation. I. I felt like, well, people were mad at me, and then they were mad at Jose, and I'm like, I think both of us were just existing. That was the whole point. That was what I was trying to get at, is we were just existing on the phone together.

[C]

I think he needed that more than you needed that.

[B]

Well, no, I mean, he felt like he felt as though there was something wrong with him, and I was trying to tell him that there were. There. There wasn't. He was. He was exactly. Okay. Just existing as who he was.

[C]

Yeah, I get that. But. Yeah. So, I mean, I don't know how far you've gone in my text thread.

[B]

Pretend I haven't. And we're just talking. And I also. I actually. I'm not looking at the thing. We're all. Exactly. We're on the phone right now. We're in the moment. What do you want to talk about?

[C]

All right, well, I have a funny story. I have a funny story that happened to me, like, two years ago.

[B]

Huh.

[C]

With my person, who I am currently now married with.

[B]

Huh.

[C]

So I'll try to make it short, but basically, he was, like, texting a bot, and he thought it was, like, a girl, and he, like, sent nudes, and she sent nudes, and then turns out it was a man in Nigeria scamming him for money. And then he was like, hey, I want to confess to you. And I was like, yeah, what's up? And he was like, well, this is what happened. I'm being extorted for money from somebody who is from Nigeria. What should I do? And then I was like, it was pretty funny. I thought it was kind of stupid because I said, if I'm gonna marry this man, why am I allowing this? You know? But also, side note, I did marry him so I can get legal documentation in the United States. But also because, like, I've been with him for. For a long time. But it just felt very weird knowing that this man was sending nudes to a man in Nigeria thinking that it was a woman.

[B]

And that wasn't a

[A]

yes.

[C]

It was a problem for me, but I think it was okay because we'd been together for over four years. It was kind of just. To me, it felt like this was like the end all be all, even though it shouldn't have been.

[B]

Wait, I'm sorry, you felt like what was the end all be all?

[C]

Like this relationship.

[B]

Wait, I'm trying to understand why this was not a problem for you.

[C]

No. Okay, so the only reason why it was not a problem was because I was trying to look past the problem. I was trying to get papers, essentially.

[B]

Okay, and how. Okay, and now you guys are married and you looked past that and how is the marriage going?

[C]

Okay, so like this, it's a whole ball of bs, but basically what happened is we were not good. So maybe about like seven months ago, we kind of took a break. And then, I don't know, I think I would consider this. I would say it was an affair because I met somebody at work. I started working at a restaurant and then I do back a house. And so I met somebody at work. And then I was not seeing the man that I married, right? And then I was seeing this new guy. We're going to call him Joey. So I was seeing Joey and then we were dating essentially. And then, like, it just like me and the guy that I married just were kind of no contact. It was just like random tags. Hey, hey, how are you? Whatever, whatever. But then I started really catching feelings for this Joey guy. And he wanted to be with me, but then he was love bombing me. He was very much like, oh, when I saw you, I knew I was gonna marry you. And I'm like, well, you know, I'm married, so I. This can't happen. But I was almost like about to give in. And then this guy turned out recently, I was like going on Instagram and then he has A girlfriend already in a month that we stopped talking.

[B]

And so, like, during this. During this time, are you with your husband? Like, are you, like, together?

[C]

Well, married, yes, but no contact. Like, maybe two texts throughout the month or something.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[C]

So legally, yes. Married, but okay. Huh.

[B]

So are you romantic?

[C]

Who?

[B]

Are you romantically involved with your husband?

[C]

Well, now, yes.

[B]

Where are you from?

[C]

California.

[B]

Why do you need papers?

[C]

Because I was brought here when I was like, three years old.

[B]

Okay. All right. So you. You don't have a U. S. Passport?

[C]

I don't.

[B]

Oh, damn. But you've been. How long you been here before?

[C]

I have been here for 25 years.

[B]

Damn, bro. And you still need a fucking. Marry a crazy guy. You still need to have a horrible relationship to live in America.

[C]

Yeah, literally. And you know what? And I. There's obviously, like, good parts, and there was a lot of good parts, but also a lot of horrible parts that I literally had no idea were happening. You know, because I feel like, naturally I'm a very loving girl, and so I think I'm very trusting. And so this guy, like, I just one time got a. Like, a hunch and looked through his phone. And then since the first year we were dating, there was, like, he was in girls dms and then girls, like, randomly would DM me and they would be like, hey, or do you know this guy? Like, he's been calling me, he DMS me and he wants to hang out. And it was the whole thing. But again, I think I was just very, like, blinded by it.

[B]

Okay. And I think I'm the problem. Why do you. Why are you the problem?

[C]

Because I think I'm just too trusting. Same thing with this guy Joey. I feel like even though, like, I really liked him, I really enjoyed the time I was trusting. And then how in a month are you already with a girlfriend?

[B]

And so who are you with now? You're with the guy who sexted the Nigerian chat bot.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. And how's he moved in now? Okay, so are you with him, with him or. I'm kind of trying to distinct the differentiate between who you're with for papers and who you're, like, actually romantically involved with.

[C]

Okay, so I'm with him for papers, the guy that was texting the Nigerian bottom. And then currently we're trying. Same person. We're trying to romantically be involved, but it's hard because it's like, I went through so much with. Yeah.

[B]

At the. Okay, wait, but at the time that you were sexting with. That he was sexting With a Nigerian bot. Were you guys in a committed relationship?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. And okay, how is repairing that going?

[C]

Okay, so we do have conflicting work schedules. So I think I like, I only see him during the weekend for a few hours because I work a baker hours, so that means I'm at work by 4am and he is going to work at 1pm and then he won't get off till 11pm and then I get off at 12.30pm so I have to be in bed by like 7pm so weekends really are the only times I see him because he's off those days.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And so it's, it's a little odd, you know, because he has no idea about Joey from work.

[B]

Okay. So.

[C]

And I've never. Yeah.

[B]

Okay. So essentially. Essentially you guys cheated on each other.

[C]

Yes, but he said more times. I know it doesn't justify it, but, you know.

[B]

Okay, all right. So at that point it's like, all right, you did some things, I did some things. Let's, let's start from scratch. That's kind of where we're at.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

This right now. Okay. And are you enjoying being around him? Do you actually want to make this work or is it just for the papers?

[C]

So I'm like a little bit of both. Right. So at this point it's kind of like getting papers is really expensive. I'm glad you don't ever have to go through that. But it's, it's really expensive to try to just even get documents. Like, I have a work permit and I had to pay just recently almost 600 to be able to work here and pay taxes, which is insane.

[B]

Crazy.

[C]

That's a whole nother story. But I am enjoying the time and I'm trying, like, I'm trying to actually be committed into this, you know, So I, I'm enjoying it so far.

[B]

And so I would say. Does he also seem as though he is enjoying it as well? Like he's making it?

[C]

Yeah, I think so. Yeah, for sure. Like, financially he's being very helpful, but I also don't know if that's also, you know, a little bit of guilt

[B]

that he parents still in the country.

[C]

So my mom actually left a few years ago and she's like doing really well over there. But my dad. Yes.

[B]

Where, where is she from?

[C]

My mom?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Mexico.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

We're from Mexico City.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And so she's over there doing her thing. She owns a business. She's doing really well over there. My dad is here and he's just, he has his own business and he's doing. He remarried. You know, that's another situation. Remarried, bought a house, really far. So he moved to Lancaster now. And so that's about, like, two hours from where I'm at.

[B]

Okay,

[C]

wait, are you still in LA

[B]

right at this very moment? Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Wow. See, and that. That was the funny part is Joey was supposed to go with me to go to your show, and I was like, let's go. You know, and he was like, yeah, buy the tickets. And then we're going. But then he ended up like, nah, never mind. So wait, are you coming off?

[B]

Are you coming to the show?

[C]

No, not anymore.

[B]

Okay. I was about to say, I'll see you in three hours. Wait, did you still. Wait, so you bought a ticket but you're not going?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Why aren't you going?

[C]

Because I'm like, I don't have anybody else to go with the.

[B]

By the way. Okay, listen, here's the thing. I see the numbers of some of the shows. Not all of them, but some of the. But listen, you're not the only person who's bought a single ticket to the event.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Come to the show. It's in, like, two hours.

[C]

It seems like, yeah, like, I should go, but I'm just like, you know what? I have work tomorrow, 4:00am again, and then to drive back to LA.

[B]

You. Wait, from where? Wait, do you live in LA? Right.

[C]

Well, okay, so my friends make fun of me because I used to la, but it's like, technically LA County. So, for example, like, today when I got off work, it took me an hour and 10 minutes to get back home.

[B]

Yeah, when?

[C]

Typically in the morning. Yeah, 4:00am we're talking 25 minutes.

[B]

Okay, well, what. So what's up with Joey? Wait, so you were going to go with this guy, which. You were going to bring your mistress to the show?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

And you were. You're not afraid that, like. But I don't. You're not afraid that, like, you know, what if I'm. What if I'm, like, recording it and then he's, like, in it and then you get. You get caught?

[C]

No, because the. The one that was sexting the Nigerian bot, he actually, like, I try to get him to listen to your show and he just, like, never wanted to. He was always just like, oh, yeah, it's funny, whatever. And I'm like, you don't get it. And then Joey, on the contrary, like, he would actually, like, listen. And, like, we would be in the car and then he would, like, you know, comment about it. So I knew that he would have been the person that would have enjoyed it more.

[B]

Okay, but you're happy in your marriage to. I'm just going to call him the Nigerian guy. You're happy in your marriage to the Nigerian guy?

[C]

I don't know. That's where I'm conflicted, because it's like, I think I'm just kind of forcing myself. But again, it just feels like. I don't know, I'm mad that, like, Joey is with this girl in a month.

[B]

But, like, why are you still thinking. But why are we even still talking about Joey? You're married to the Nigerian guy.

[C]

Well, yes, but. Because I thought that, like, you know, it was not going to work out with the Nigerian guy. And then I thought, like, you know, maybe Joey and I would. Would have been together.

[B]

Okay, but that's it. But now you're with the Nigerian guy, so if you're thinking about Joey, but you're with the Nigerian guy, then which.

[C]

But that's what I'm saying is that I don't know if I'm happy. I'm kind of like, am I settling?

[B]

It sounds like you want to be with Joey.

[C]

Protecting myself. Yeah. But I think that's too late.

[B]

It's probably. Yeah, it's a little too late to be with Joey. But then what's the point of being with. But then why don't you. But if you don't even want to be with this guy, then why are you.

[C]

Because I need papers.

[B]

Yeah, but you can, like, break up and not get divorced.

[C]

Yeah, but then the thing is, like, is he gonna let me get papers? I need him to physically be there. And, you know, like, I can pay. I can pay for the papers and stuff, but he needs to sign, like, legal documents and do the whole thing.

[B]

Why did he agree to. But he's like, sex. Why did it sound. It doesn't sound like either of you want to be with each other. Why is this even happening?

[C]

I think. Okay, so he has changed a lot since, you know, like, I've forgiven him all those times. And. And it was more than just the Nigerian texting that guy. Right? It was the girls that had DM'd me and talking about, hey, I met up with him, blah, blah, blah. It's been more like girls from, like, the UK gag. I literally. I had to be. I had. I felt like a crazy person because one time this girl commented, he has, like, another page, another Instagram page where he does photography. And this girl commented, like, so natural. Just very much like, oh, my gosh, Such A cute picture some dumb like that, right? And I was like, why is she so comfortable commenting that with hearts while you and I are together? This was before we got married. And so then I was like, hey girl, you know, just wanted to check in. Like is there something between you two? And she was like, oh, well, we've been dming and she's from the UK Gecko and he. We're in America and I mean he's

[B]

like, he's yamming with people in Nigeria. I don't think he's got like a ratio location. Dude, this is. What, what is the. I don't. I. I don't understand. I don't understand the point of you guys. Like why, like what is. You know, neither, neither of you. Neither of you want to be in the relationship. Why are you doing

[C]

for papers? It just. It seems like convenience, you know, that's fair. I think that's honestly what it.

[B]

But at what, but, but at what point is it like like you're here to be in the US to do what?

[C]

To live? Because this is all I've known my whole life. You know, you can't be like hey, go back to Mexico and then I don't even know what the hell that looks like. You know, we're talking like you were here brought as a baby and what the hell am I going to do over there?

[B]

What do you. You have a baby?

[C]

No, I don't have a baby.

[B]

Oh, okay. I think he said brought you a. Oh, abroad is a baby. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, okay. Don't. Well, don't have a baby. That's a terrible idea.

[C]

Oh no, trust me, I'm very much anti kid.

[B]

What's your name again?

[C]

Rebecca.

[B]

Rebecca.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I have no solution for your problem. I mean there's. I mean I do sort of. But yeah, you're gonna have to just break. Well, you have to break up. But like I guess the whole thing is like if you break up, what's the point of him. But he doesn't want like. But what's the. But here's the thing. He doesn't want to even be in the relationship anyway. So there. So there's no point. So even. Even if he is married to you, there's no point in him going to these appointments anyway, you know?

[C]

Yeah, this.

[B]

It doesn't make any sense.

[C]

I think again, I think it's mostly kind of. And maybe it could be the guilt and maybe he feels like he has to help me at this point point, which is what I kind of feel like maybe that's what it is. But I do also know that, like, you know, like, we've been together for so long and, like, it feels like there is love there.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

But, you know, as conflicting as all of this.

[B]

How long have you. How long have you been together?

[C]

Seven years.

[B]

Okay. He'll help you with your pay. He'll help you with the papers. But, like, I think he'll help you. He'll help you with the papers, but. But just. If you're doing this thing where, like, neither of you actually want to be with each other, then, like, you know, have a conversation about it and be like, hey, you know, listen, like, you want to hang out with these, whatever, London Instagram models. I want to hang out with Joey or whatever. Like, let's just do that. And if you could help me out with the papers, that'd be cool, too, you know?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, what's the point of this?

[C]

Yeah, you know what? But I. I've tried that. I've tried that. And he, like, refuses to let go. And I also refuse to let go. Clearly.

[B]

Yeah. It's hard.

[C]

Yeah, I know.

[B]

Nicole.

[C]

Rebecca.

[B]

Rebecca. Shits. Who's Nicole?

[C]

Well, that's not my real name. Don't worry.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

I don't know who Nicole is, but

[B]

is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

[C]

Them kids.

[B]

Thank you, Rebecca. Good luck.

[C]

Goodbye, Geck. See you around the universe.

[B]

See you around the universe.

[C]

Toodles, Poodle.

[D]

Hello?

[B]

Hey, what's up, man?

[D]

Who is this? The Geck?

[B]

Yes. It's the Gecko. What's up, man? Who is this?

[D]

Whoa. This is Joe.

[B]

Joe? What kind of name is Joe?

[D]

It's. It's like, you know, like the average Joe, you know?

[B]

Are you an average Joe, or are you. Or are you more than that?

[D]

I'm pretty average. I mean, I don't know, man. I'm just some guy. I'm just some guy. I'm kind of lost, though.

[B]

Do you feel like you're a regular guy?

[D]

I feel like I'm more than a regular guy sometimes. You ever get those, like, those small, instantaneous, like, bursts? Like, I feel like I'm the dog today. Can I cuss on ears?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. Why do people always ask me that? I feel like I'm. I always get offended. Not offended. Offended is the wrong word, but, like, I'm like, have I. Am I too soft that people have to ask me that? They can curse.

[D]

The thing is, though, you sound so chill. Like, you don't sound like a guy who cusses you know what I mean?

[B]

Like, I don't sound like a guy who cusses.

[D]

No, you don't. Do. Like, I take you as, like, a very sweet guy. I feel like. I feel like you're one of those guys. Like, if I was with a group of guys and you were there and I was cussing, you would tell everyone to, like, calm down a little bit.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Really? Oh, man.

[D]

Low key, dude. Maybe. Maybe we need to smoke some weed together and figure it out.

[B]

I. I don't know. I mean, I try to. No, it's funny, this. I mean, I've been in some, like, social circles in my life where, like, people have said certain similar things to me, but, like, I don't know, I really. I seem like. I don't cuss. I don't. Like, that feels. That feels. I don't know. That's interesting. I say, I appreciate. This is an interesting way to get a grip on how I'm perceived.

[D]

But you seem very nice.

[B]

I try, man. I don't know. I'm going to say.

[D]

I mean, I would. I would sit down if you're at a bar, I would sit down with you if you're by yourself and buy you a beer.

[B]

Thanks, man. Well, I'm going insane. I'm going insane. Sorry.

[D]

I'm going insane, bro. I'm. I'm looking lost right now.

[B]

Why are you going inside? Tell me why. You're going insane. That's why I don't hear about you.

[D]

Okay, so I'm looking a musician. I like to play bass. So I was in this music store. I'm in Petaluma right now on a getaway trip with my girlfriend. And, dude, her phone just died. And she said she's going to a bookstore. And there's like five bookstores near me. And I went through, like, three already. I'm kind of losing it, and I'm lost and I don't remember where we parked. And now I'm sitting on a bench smoking my weed, and right next to me, I see a sign that says, no smoking prohibited in the park.

[B]

Dude, what is Petaluma?

[D]

It's a little city. It's by. It's. It's in, like. Is it the Sonoma county or something? I can't remember. It's in California.

[B]

And what are you doing there again? You're on vacation?

[D]

Yeah, it's a little getaway trip for me and my girl. It was her six years.

[B]

That's cool. And where is she? You can't find her?

[D]

Dude, A bookstore. She told me a bookstore last. Because I was in this music store for a good minute. I walked out and I see, like, one bookstore. I go in it, couldn't find her. I go another one, couldn't find her. And then I kind of just gave up halfway. Now I'm sitting here on a bench,

[B]

and where do you think she might be,

[D]

dude, there's. I mean, there's two more spots I could go to.

[B]

What are the two?

[D]

I'm halfway with my joint. Go to the two spots. Okay. Should I finish my joint first?

[B]

How much do you have left in the joints?

[D]

Like, it's like a halfway. You know, those little stizzy. Like those little stizzy half joints. It's like little half grams.

[B]

Oh, okay. I thought it was, like. I thought stizzy was a. Was a vape company, dude.

[D]

That's what I thought, too. But then I went into the dispo recently and I saw that they had joints. I was like, let me try that. And, dude, good deal. I thought there'd be more, but it's only five little things. I'm kind of a heavy smoker, so I kind of killed it in a day.

[B]

How did you meet your girlfriend six years ago?

[D]

Did we met in high school? Yeah, she was. I was 16, she was 15. And then we're in the same grade. We're both sophomores at the time. We met through a mutual friend that I don't. I don't talk to anymore. That's some actually more crazy stuff about that. That too. But I met through a mutual friend, and then we hit it off. Actually, she slid in my DMs. Actually, she slid in my DMs before we actually first met. Which is crazy because normally, like, wouldn't it be the other way around? I don't know.

[B]

No, not necessarily. I think there's a lot of. There's a lot of guys who, like, the reason they have a girlfriend is because they. The girlfriend DM'd them. Like, they made the first move, you know?

[D]

Dude, the thing is, I'm not. I never really. Dude, I was a hermit growing up, bro. Like, I played games. I played bass. I played bass guitar. And then, dude, yeah, I just. I was that kid who just, you know, and I did boxing for. For that for a little while. But, dude, I did. I was a hermit growing up, bro. I did not pay attention to girls, really. And this girl DM me. And I was like, okay.

[B]

Do you still identify as a hermit?

[D]

Yeah, Loki, dude, I'm still a hermit. Like, really bad. I'm trying to break out of that sometimes.

[B]

But yet you're lost in Paloma. Paloma, yeah.

[D]

I'm lost in Petaluma.

[B]

Dude, why did you choose Petaluma?

[D]

We chose. Oh, dude.

[A]

Petaluma.

[D]

Well, it's actually Napa. We're staying in Napa. Petaluma is like a sister city to Napa. Napa is actually, like, one of the greatest cities of wine, and I like to get drunk, so I got really drunk yesterday off of wine. Like, a lot of wine.

[B]

How long have you been. How long have you been lost?

[D]

45 minutes now.

[B]

45 minutes. Okay. Have you tried calling your girlfriend? Like, why?

[D]

Her phone is dead.

[B]

Bro, her phone is dead. Her phone is dead. Okay. Yeah, that's a problem.

[D]

She did not charge you last night.

[B]

Does she typically do that? Is she a. She a classic.

[D]

No, she. She's on it. She's. She's always on it. Dude. She's a smart girl. Like, she's always on top of her stuff. But, dude, we got so drunk and so hammered that I really. I really don't know how we got home yesterday. I don't drink and drive, people. This is online, and you're listening to me. Please do not drink and drive. Don't. I don't know. I don't remember how I got home yesterday, but. Or it's the hotel, but it happened.

[B]

Okay. Okay. And she's either in this music store or in this bookstore.

[D]

It's even in this bookstore. I was in the music store. I was fidgeting around on this base that I liked.

[B]

Okay. Oh, I think you guys should break up. You're never gonna find each other.

[D]

I should break up. We're never gonna fight each other.

[B]

You guys should break up. You guys are. Yeah. I mean, this would be grounds for, like, I feel like in the. In the 1400s, this would be grounds for a breakup. Just the fact that you can't physically find each other.

[A]

I would.

[D]

I would want her to sell. I would want her to, like, get a horse, though. Like, if that was the case, I would want.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

At least you get a horse. Yeah, like, a horse. You know, in the 1400s, we. They would trade with animals and livestock. Mm. So, you know, I feel like it'd be okay if she got at least three horses.

[B]

Dude, what's the highest number you think you could count to?

[D]

I'm not good at math at all, Geck. That's why I do construction.

[B]

Dude, what's the last thing you built as a construction worker? What have you Been building.

[D]

I did, like, rough carpentry for a house, so it was just like, the framework of it. But, you know, even then, like, me and my bro homies get hammered and just build. It's like.

[A]

It's like.

[D]

It's like Legos. Like, you're an adult with Legos.

[B]

You and your homies get hammered and build houses. That sounds really dangerous.

[D]

Yeah, it sounds really fun.

[B]

Okay, maybe I am. Maybe I have gone soft. Maybe I have. Maybe that is.

[D]

That's what I'm saying, dude. I. I got you. I got you right there. Got you.

[B]

Is that really. What true do I sound? I don't know. I don't like. I don't know. I say dude words.

[D]

I'm telling you. No, I mean, dude, I'm not a party animal either, bro. When I start living on the edge, dude, I live on the edge.

[B]

You've been living on the edge?

[D]

Yeah, sometimes.

[B]

How to end. Do you like being on the edge, or do you want to get back to the center?

[D]

I like to be on the edge, but my girlfriend likes to keep me on the center.

[B]

Okay. And your girlfriend's more put together than you? It sounds.

[D]

Yes, dude. She's way more put together. Dude, I am. I'm like. Think of it as, like. You ever seen the movie Twins with Arnold schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito?

[B]

I've heard of it.

[D]

Yeah. So the movie is, like, basically, like, they're twins, but only one of them gets the good astronetics, and that's Arnold Schwarzenegger's character. So he's like the big, buff, handsome one that's like my girlfriend. And I'm Dan DeVito. I'm like, the small, fat, stinky one.

[B]

What's your dream for the future?

[D]

My dream for the future, Dude, I'm like Loki, a starving musician right now. Like, I'm kind of in my own band, and I'm just like. I haven't put anything out yet. It's just what I've been struggling with is finding, like, a good tone for my bass because I'm just basing drums, like, a little shitty piano that I use.

[B]

Why? And what do you make music about, dude?

[D]

It's like punk rock music. It's like experimental punk rock. So I'll, like. I'll make, like, catchy jingles, kind of, and I'll just, like. I don't really, like, have a voice. Yeah, I'm still trying to work up to getting a good voice. I kind of just like, say stuff that I. That I want to get off my Chest.

[B]

Mm. What. What do you want to get off your chest? What was the last thing you. You expressed musically?

[D]

Well, dude, I haven't posted anything yet. I have, like, a little vault, like, like, four songs that I like that I'm still kind of working on. One of them is kind of just about, like, influences. People that, like, got to me, and I kind of hated that. That's why I, like, I. I tell people, like, don't hang out with drug addicts or just. Just don't hang out with alcoholics people. It's. It's not worth it. It's. You don't want to be around people.

[B]

Like, that Was that you at one point?

[D]

I was. That was me at one point. Yeah, it was pretty bad.

[B]

Oh. Oh. What. What. What influenced you to change?

[D]

Ah, dude, it's gonna sound so corny, but it was honestly my girlfriend.

[C]

Oh.

[D]

And my cat. Dude, I have a little baby cat that I love. He's, like, two now. He's like my son.

[B]

How did your girlfriend convince you to change?

[D]

Dude, I. Literally. Okay. I'm 22 now, and I don't know why, like, dude, gag. I was, like, so stupid, and, like, I did so many stupid things that I. Lucky, had this, like.

[A]

Like, rule that I was gonna be,

[D]

like, dead in the ground by 18. It was like, Sahad. Honestly, it's sad when I look. When I look back at him now and, like, I look. He just had no. No purpose. And I guess, like. I don't know, like.

[A]

Like.

[D]

Like, growing up, it was kind of hard. I was looking on my own. Like, I had parents, but, like, my mom was at work, and then my dad was always at a night job, so that was always sleeping, and he was working alcoholics. I kind of grew up with that, but it's like, I kind of just found out that there's more to life than certain things. Like, I remember I was on a shroom trip with my friends, and, like, I was saying on the beach and looking at, like, the sky, and, dude, I swear to God, it was, like, pink and purple, and I could see, like, the galaxy out there. Like, it was like Super Mario Galaxy out there. I was about to shoot up in the star and go up in space and collect some little, like, those little dust things. Little star. Like, little colorful. But then I kind of came back, and I was like, wow. Yeah, dude. I was like, wow. I. I could be, like, in Super Mario Galaxy right now if I want, you know? And then I just want to live life seeing, Like, I just want to be out There. Like, I just want to do more than what I'm supposed to. Like, I think with that trip, I learned that there's more to life than what I am. Dude, because we are an ant. Right now, we're just ants on this planet. Like, we could be on Neptune being water people, but we're on Earth right now. Being human people to being a water

[B]

person would be crazy. We're kind of like water. You are made of water. We're made of water. Did you know that we're, like, What? We are like, percent water?

[D]

I think it's like, 75, dude. I think 90% of water is, like, too much. Because how. Like, how is our blood split up of water? Like, how does that work if we're mainly water, but where's our blood? So wouldn't we be made of more water than blood? Definitely.

[B]

You know what? I think you should sit on that bench until you figure out the answer to that question.

[D]

I should, Dude. You know what's on your mind, Geck? I always want to, like, figure out what's going on with you.

[A]

Dude,

[B]

what's your name again?

[D]

Name's Joe.

[B]

Joe, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

[D]

Can you guys please check out Rotten Dog? I'm gonna. It's. My band is called Rotten Dog. You can find me on Instagram, but Rotten Dog.

[B]

Okay, hold on. Let me do.

[D]

Yeah, right.

[B]

I have Rotten. Rotten Dog.

[D]

Yeah, like D, A, W, G Dog.

[B]

Rotten Dog.

[D]

Yeah, like a little cartoon.

[B]

All right, I'm gonna look this up. Are you. Oh, you have the cartoon with the green.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Okay, cool.

[D]

Oh, my God. Wait, I see my girlfriend.

[B]

Oh, you see her?

[D]

Wait, yes, I'm leaving her down.

[B]

Okay, all right, Go, go, go talk to her. I followed you on Instagram. I'll. We'll keep up.

[D]

Oh, my God. Wait, can she say hi to you real quick?

[B]

Sure.

[D]

Okay. Also, about my band. Music will drop soon, probably within like a month or two. So please, people, give me time. Okay, here's my girlfriend here.

[C]

You're like, hello, who's this?

[B]

Hey, listen, just. I. I'm. I'm going to hang up now. I got to go. But with this. Whatever. Just this guy, I forget his name. I'm bad with names, but I followed him on Instagram. Rotten Dog. Just.

[C]

Hi.

[B]

Hi. But listen, just. Just do me a favor. This. This gentleman, this guy that's in front of you, he's a. He's a sweet guy. He's a good soul upon this earth, you know, he's not, you know, listen, look after him. I mean, he's not your responsibility. You. You're your own. He's a grown ass man. He can take care of himself. But, you know, but he's a good guy and so are you and.

[C]

Thank you. You don't even know me though.

[B]

It's true. I don't. I don't know. You could be a multitude of things, but I have tried put trust in the universe, so I'll put my trust in you.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Is there anything that you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?

[C]

I don't know. Let me give the phone to him. Actually.

[D]

I want to say I love my girlfriend, You know, thank you, Jesus. God. God bless somebody. I don't know. Not America, though. America's notice. It's. Why not? It's multitude of things, dude.

[B]

Well, no, I mean, why not? Rotten Dog. I'll see you around the universe.

[D]

On, dog. Yes, dude, I'm coming at you live, anywhere. You're gonna see me. Deco, give me on in the future with you. I'll be rich and famous.

[B]

You're on. You're with me. You're on the thing with me right now. There's no. There's no such thing.

[A]

Go ahead, dude.

[D]

I'm going to your freaking show in San Fran.

[B]

Oh, cool. Okay, sweet. All right, I'll see you there. All right. All right, you can come on stage, you can freestyle.

[D]

It'll be your mask. Okay.

[B]

Okay, cool. I'm excited to see, I'm excited to tell me. Give me. I don't want any more information about this mask. I want to see it in person. I'm very excited.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Okay, cool.

[B]

All right, man, I'll see you then.

[D]

Can we. Can we both shotgun a beer together?

[B]

I can't promise that, but I can promise we can say what's up.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All right. All right, man. I'll. I'll see you around the universe. I'll see you in San Fran.

[D]

All right. I bet, dude. I'll see you around the universe and then San Fran.

[B]

All right, man. I'm excited to see what the hell. What this mask is. This would be fun, dude.

[D]

Yeah, no, you'll. You'll see, bro. I'll post soon.

[B]

Okay, cool, man. Okay, cool. All right. I followed you. I followed you, Rotten Dog. All right, I'll see you then.

[D]

Are you for real?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[B]

You're the green dog, right?

[D]

Yes, that is me.

[B]

All right, man. I'm excited. This. I'm. I'm looking forward to this. This mixtape.

[D]

Thank you, bro.

[B]

All right, man. You take care.

[D]

Awesome. You take better care.

[B]

Thanks.

[D]

You take more care than I will myself. Yeah, you too, man.

[B]

Bye.

[E]

Liberty Mutual customizes your car and home insurance. And now we're customizing this rush hour ad to keep you calm, which could help your driving. And science says therapy is great for a healthy mindset. So enjoy this 14 second session on us. I think you've done everything right and absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, anything that hasn't gone your way could probably be blamed on your father not being emotionally available because his father wasn't emotionally available, and so on. And now that you're calm and healing, you're probably driving better, too.

[A]

Liberty. Liberty.

[B]

Liberty.

[A]

Liberty.

[D]

Hello?

[B]

Hey, what's up, man? What's your name?

[D]

My name's Brett.

[B]

What's up, Brett? What's going on?

[D]

Not much. Not much going on. I'm actually taking a break from work right now.

[B]

And what are you doing during that break?

[D]

I just tried a new restaurant, a chicken place, kind of like Nashville Hot Chicken. And I found out it's a restaurant by Shack.

[B]

Oh, yeah? Is it any good?

[D]

It was delicious.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

In my opinion, a little bit overpriced, but it was really good.

[B]

Yeah. What's. How much for like, a chicken sandwich?

[D]

The sandwich itself is like 12 bucks.

[B]

Okay. But you can just get a sandwich. You gotta. You got a combo, I assume you got some fries, you got a drink.

[D]

Yeah, they.

[A]

They got me.

[D]

They got me on the. On the good stuff.

[B]

They got you on the good stuff. What's your name again?

[D]

Brett.

[B]

Brett, what would you like to talk about today?

[D]

Good question. I think I. I texted you something about how this is kind of thing that me and my friends have been talking about recently. We're all similar age, around the age of 30, some of us a little under, some of us over, and we're experiencing this collective feeling of how, like, cool, simple things are.

[B]

Yeah, sure.

[D]

All right. I'm in my car now, so I should be able to hear you better,

[A]

but.

[D]

Yeah, it's. It's like I just moved recently, and I have a bigger yard, and I just, like, get home from work, and I started a little garden, and I water those plants, and then I watch my dog run around, and it's frigging sweet.

[B]

Yeah, I think it's because, like, the older you get, the more. I mean, the more. I guess, supposedly the older you get, the more you've done and the more you've seen. And so because of that, it's like the Novelties kind of wear off and the simple things are kind of all you're left with.

[D]

Yeah, I can see that. It's kind of like a little bit of maybe like a sense of stability too.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

But just having appreciating, like the simple things in your day to day life make you feel a little bit more. More grounded, maybe is a better word for it.

[B]

Do you feel more stable now?

[D]

Yeah, in the past, like, year or so, I feel like I've kind of taken a turn where in my early to mid 20s, it was like I felt like an overaged teenager, if that makes sense.

[B]

Well, why did you feel like an

[D]

overhead, which I still kind of am. Oh, just I feel like. Or at least another thing that people say around here is like 30 is the new 20. Just like with society and how expensive things can be, it like takes your early 20s to figure out how to be an adult.

[B]

Yeah, you need more. Yeah. You kind of get like a fresh start, it seems.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah. So I kind of feel like I got through that and, you know, I've got a pretty decent job, a bigger yard for my dog. Like all the things that a few years ago I knew I wanted to get to, I'm starting to get to.

[B]

Is there anything left that you haven't gotten to yet?

[D]

Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. I've always wanted to. I mean, I've done a fair bit of traveling, but I want to do a lot more traveling. And then I've always felt like once I own my own home would be like a very big adult thing. Although in my area, that's not super realistic. But it kind of feels like that I feel like the. The sensation I would expect from reaching that milestone. I'm kind of reaching in this. In this current house that I'm renting. I think I feel like it's giving me the same kind of fulfillment.

[B]

And what does it. What does that sensation feel like?

[D]

Yeah, it's a good question. I haven't tried to like, put words to it. I guess it's just kind of like maybe just like less. More peaceful. Like a sense of calm. Not so worried about, like, what I need to do next in order to start or in order to progress towards what it is that I want. I can kind of take a step back and appreciate the moment a little more. Yeah, it sounds like a. Like a super grand statement, but that

[B]

sounds pretty normal to me. Yeah, that sounds pretty normal to me. That's what I'm. Yeah, I think that that's. Yeah, the older you get the more you kind of crave a little bit of peace and little bit less like, all right, what do I got to do next? But my brain works in a sense of like it kind of oscillates. Like you get too stressed out and then you want peace. But then at least for me, when I have too much peace, I get, I get antsy. I'm like, I gotta, if I gotta find another thing to do that'll stress me out.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, I actually, I totally get that. I recently there's been a ton of stuff going on in my life in the last like six months or so. And I actually wrote you an email not that long ago, which you may have not seen yet.

[B]

What's, what was the email?

[D]

But in it really quick summary. In the last six months, my dog had a life threatening emergency. He's fine now, totally fine. My father in law had a, two strokes and he's recovering. And then we found out that my mom has stage four stomach cancer.

[B]

Oh no.

[D]

Right around Christmas or so.

[B]

I'm sorry to hear that.

[D]

Yeah, it, I mean it was a lot, obviously. I think it's, I don't want to say it's a good thing that it all happened at the same time, but it did kind of give me some like intense perspective, I guess, which is probably tying into feeling all these, or appreciating all these simpler things in life.

[B]

Yeah. What kind of perspective did it give you?

[D]

Yeah. So in the email I also write about this, I forget which episode it was, but you were kind of talking about how you were traveling or you, you've oscillate between like this itch to travel and experience the world and then you come home and you're like finding joy in the fact that you have bananas on your counter.

[B]

Yeah, sure. Yeah. There's a lot of joy just having bananas on your counter. There's a lot of joy and feeling like a. Yeah. Person. Like when I, when I quit, I, I'm in California and I was visiting a childhood friend of mine and I went to his house and he had like a real apartment like where like things were like set up and he had like a blender and a spice rack. And it like, you know, he was like, oh, this is like a real person, you know, And I've had little epochs in my life where I was like, oh, I feel like a real person. And it always feels, but it feels better to feel like a real person than it does to be like, I don't know, a vagrant or whatever, you know. Like, you see like, and also you. I think you can be a real person for longer. Like I'll see, you see like a 56 year old guy and he's like eating some yogurt, he's looking at his watch like, this is a real guy. You can be, you can sustainably be a real guy for a pretty long time. You know, I don't know if it's because, I don't know if it's because of like, whatever, like boomers have had less existential dread than our generation and that makes it easier for them to be real people. But. Yeah, I don't know, dude. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's a tough balance.

[D]

Yeah, it's definitely a balance. I feel like if you asked me, you know, five, six years ago if I thought being a, a middle aged adult eating yogurt at like a cafe was cool, I'd tell you absolutely not. But now it's like, that sounds awesome.

[B]

Yeah, no, it looks, it looks great. It's a great day. It's a great day being 56 years old. You're like looking at something, you're not thinking about anything. You're just in your life so deeply. That's. I, I hope that's me one day. I really do. I get so pumped when I see that, especially in New York. I get so pumped when I see that. I'm like, that could be me one day. I could be 56 years old, sitting right there eating yogurt, not fucking thinking about anything. I have over 20 years to get to that point. It's the type of, it's the type of thing I think about that makes me want to not kill myself is seeing a 56 year old guy sitting in a chair eating yogurt. It really is, it's the type of thing that gives me, it's very hope core, for sure.

[D]

For sure. I think that's, that's the, the best part about it is you can, you can look forward to it, but you can also do that kind of thing right now to an extent.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, you can do that thing right now. I mean, I've talked to older people and a lot of older people have told me that they have way less anxiety at their age than, than, you know, in their, in their 20s and 30s.

[D]

Yeah, that makes sense. You just learn more about the world. I feel like maybe part of it too is like you kind of have to go through that phase or that other side of the coin where you do travel and go Experience things that there are to experience. To really have as much knowledge about the world and, and kind of release yourself from all that anxiety and stress, realize it's not such a big deal.

[B]

Are you, what are you most stressed about now?

[D]

That's a good question. Day to day, I work in a retail management, so it can be a stressful environment. But I'm not sure that I would say I'm necessarily stressed about work because in the grand scheme of things, it's like, so trivial. I feel like more so if, if I kind of dug deeper for an answer, I'd probably just be more stressed about, I don't know, like, taking advantage of the time I have. If that makes sense.

[B]

Well, I mean, looking at a dog and go, being in your yard is a pretty good way to do that.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah. That's kind of why I feel like I'm. That that's why this banana thing is stuck in my head. It's like, I don't think you were trying to say anything provocative, but for whatever reason, it really stuck with me was like, just focus on the simple stuff and enjoy it. And you're less. Your time is going to feel like it's wasted.

[B]

Let me tell you this, too. What's your name again?

[D]

Brett.

[B]

Brett. Let me tell you something, Brett. I'm in a hotel room in San Diego right now, and there is a Reese's Fast Break wrapper and an empty bottle of Gatorade on the nightstand next to me. And I feel insane. And when I am in my apartment and there's just, like, bananas on the shelf, I feel I'm craving deeply having bananas on my shelf. So I, I, you actually, it's funny you wrote, you're reminding me that it feels good to have bananas on your shelf. I don't think I've had bananas on my shelf since that pot whatever podcast episode. I said that in that. That must have been a year ago since I had bananas on my shelf.

[D]

Yeah, I can't remember. I can't remember what was actually talking about, but you started. He just asked you how you were doing and you started talking about that in, like, the first 10 minutes of the episode.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, we're going to get back there. I'm inspired by, by this conversation. Thank you for, thank you for reminding me where I need to be in this world again.

[D]

Yeah, well, I mean, you're out there doing the flip side right now because didn't you just start the tour?

[B]

I did start the tour. The tour has been fun. The shows have been Fun. I have. It's. It's a. It's a worth it, trade off. The shows have been fun. We did the American Comedy Company in San Diego last night. Now we're doing LA tonight. It'll be fun.

[D]

That's awesome.

[B]

Yeah, it'll be fun. What's your name again, man?

[D]

Brett.

[B]

Brett. Brett, is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?

[D]

Yeah, just go get some bananas, put them in your house, look at them. Eat one of them. Yeah, yeah. Just choose to. Choose to have a good day.

[B]

Perfect. Hey, thank you, Brett.

[D]

Yeah, thank you. I'll. I'll actually be at your. Your show in Seattle.

[B]

Oh, cool. Okay. I think. Yeah, that'll be in like a month. All right, I'll see you in a month, Brett.

[D]

Yeah, see you then.

[B]

Awesome. Thanks, ma'.

[C]

Am.

[D]

Yeah, have a good one.

[E]

Liberty Mutual customizes your car and home insurance. And now we're customizing this rush hour ad to keep you calm, which could help your driving. And science says therapy is great for a healthy mindset. So enjoy this 14 second session on us. I think you've done everything right and absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, anything that hasn't gone your way could probably be blamed on your father not being emotionally available because his father wasn't emotionally available, and so on. And now that you're calm and healing, you're probably driving better, too.

[A]

Liberty. Liberty.

[B]

Liberty.

[A]

Liberty.

[B]

Hello?

[D]

Lyle, what's up?

[A]

Oh, okay, I got through. Hey, you. I sent you a text that I was at a blues jam in Belgium.

[B]

Oh, you're at a blues jam in Belgium?

[A]

Yeah. Yes, indeed. Indeed.

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

I've been trying to call you for quite some time and I'm a big fan, man. I. I listen to you all the time when I'm stretching or brushing my teeth.

[B]

Fuck yeah. Thank you, man. What's your name?

[A]

Peter. Peter is my name.

[B]

Peter. Peter from Belgium at a blues jazz festival?

[A]

No, it's. It's a jam. It's just a bar.

[B]

Okay. Are you there by yourself?

[A]

Well, I've been living here for 10 years and in the beautiful city of Ghent. So when I go out, it's just people I know, you know?

[B]

Oh, that's great. That's pretty juicy. So you've just been living there for long enough that you just walk the streets and you're. You're. You're the. The man of the people of. What the hell is the name of the city?

[A]

Ghent. G A N T. Okay, so you're

[B]

just the man of. You are the man of Ghent.

[A]

I am a man of Ghent, but yeah, I get around. I get around. So like you say, you just go out and you do stuff and you get to know people, you see them once, you see them twice, and just like you strike up conversation.

[B]

Pretty good. Pretty good. Hmm. So what made you want to go out to specifically this jazz place tonight?

[A]

It's a place I. I'm a regular here, so it's called Mississippi, but not like, you know, the spelling of the river, but it's like missy as in a missus and sippy as in pacific drink.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

It's a pretty cool place as jam. I'm sorry, we have kind of a lag because.

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

Blues and blues and roots bar. There's a couple of gas places in Ghent as well, but this is more blues focused. And we just had a jam was with a Syrian player and he had a saz, which is a very special instrument. We didn't expect that we were going to play with him, but we managed to somehow make something cool of it. Yeah.

[B]

What is a roots

[A]

like blues and roots music? It's like country, folk, Americana. So actually closer to your culture than ours, really.

[B]

Do you listen to any Belgian music, whatever the hell that might be?

[A]

Belgian music is more like pop music. I do listen to a lot of. To some Belgian music, but I mostly listen to like Old English, 70s, 80s, progressive rock bands and this and that.

[B]

Okay, who did you run into today at the jazz bar that. That you knew?

[A]

There's this guy called Emil, and we're starting a project right now. We're trying to start a band, like a cover band, but with a twist, with everything is played a little bit lower and a little bit slower. And I ran into Laura, she's a girl who goes around here as well. And I invited a friend as well, Hannah. She's a pretty cool girl. She knows a lot about Star Wars.

[B]

She knows a lot about Star Wars. Why does she know so much about Star Wars?

[A]

I guess it's. I guess it's the age, man. Like around people are born in like. I don't know, I'm born. I was born in 94 and I think people until like 2000, 2001, 2003, they were all brought up with Star wars, you know, and that's why she knows a lot about Star Wars.

[B]

Does she know who wins the Star War?

[A]

I think. Well, you know, I. I don't take into account like the sequels. Those are non canon for me. So for me, like the rebels win like, you know, Star wars was based off like the Vietnam War. So I think Vietnam wins the Star Wars.

[B]

I thought it was based off of like World War II and like Darth Vader was Hitler.

[A]

Well, I think the uniforms of the, of the Storm Coopers were based off of, of the World War II Nazi uniforms. But the, the Star wars were actually based off of the Vietnam War because they've got the rebels who are hidden in the jungle. You know, like in the third movie. Well, actually the sixth movie. And the Empire is the United States.

[B]

Oh, so the way is the Empire. Okay. Oh, so the rebels are Vietnam and we're the bad guys and. Well, I guess not. We, you're, you're Belgium. So I guess the US Is the bad guys.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm sorry, man.

[A]

Well, but you know, I gotta tell you something.

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

I was, I was a little. This, this call comes a little bit late because I've, I've had so many ideas about what I wanted to say to you. And I'm looking at my old job right now, which is a big ass tower. It's called the Belfry. It's a tower where tourists can go, climb to the top and get a view of the city, know like a panoramic view thingy. And I, I hated my job. I hated doing it because it was always the same thing. And it's always interactions of only like 10 seconds. But you meet a lot of people from a lot of places. And I think that the Americans actually were some of the nicest people I've met, some of the most talkative. And I think to myself, like, yeah, your government is run by some people, but people are nice. You know, I've run into a lot of Americans and they've all. They seem like very open people. Very, very speak easy. That's why I enjoyed listening to your podcast as well. It kind of gives the perspective of like, you have your government, but that doesn't mean that it's. It's people, you know?

[B]

Yeah, of course. I've always felt that way. I mean, it always depends. I mean, everywhere in the world is, has, you know, people who are jerks and people who are nice. I don't really. The question of what makes somebody who they are is such a. There's a multitude of factors, be it like, you know, how they were raised and, you know, the country. And there's so much. It's hard to, it's hard to say, like, oh, the people in this country are this or the people in that country are that. I mean, do you Think Belgians are good people, are nice folks

[A]

generally. I think we are, like, especially in this city. The reason why I stayed this long, I was born in Belgium, but anyway, is because people are quite open here and quite talkative. But I think in general, people in Belgium. Belgium are a little bit closed off in comparison to the Netherlands, at least, where they are more direct and more open. And here it kind of feels like you need to take like 15 steps until you get to know somebody. And you cannot skip a step because otherwise they'll kind of find you weird or they will stop talking to you.

[B]

Wait, if you skip a step, they'll find you weird. What does that mean? Like, what does that mean, to skip a step?

[A]

Well, you know, you gotta go through that whole dance of who is this person? And this and that. You cannot over. Over share in the beginning. They'll kind of find you weird or. Or off putting. That's. That's the feeling I have, at least in. In Flanders, because baldness is like three parts. You have like, Flanders, and then you have Bologna, which is in the south, and then you have like, Brussels, which is the. The capital in the middle, you know? Yeah, but people in Flanders, I feel like they're kind of closed off. I feel more spiritually connected with people from the Netherlands or from the US Or Australia. Like all kinds of people who are kind of really open and you can just tell your whole life story and it'll be okay and, and you'll be best buddies, but in no time.

[B]

Do you feel a stronger kinship to folks from US and Australia.

[A]

Yes, indeed.

[B]

Interesting. Is it? So you. Do you. Have. You spent much time in either of those countries?

[A]

No, neither. Neither. I think I'm gonna wait a little bit until a certain president is done in the US and then I'll. I'll take a look there. Might want to see some nature parks and this and that. I'd love to see Australia too, but, you know, traveling costs money.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. What. What's the. What's the Belgian government look like? What are they doing? What are they worrying about?

[A]

They're up. No. Oh, man. The Belgian government is really hard to explain because we have like a Dutch part, a French speaking part, and then a German speaking part, and we have multiple governments.

[D]

It's.

[A]

It's really too much to explain right now. Anyway. How. How are you doing, man? I. I haven't seen the Ukraine video yet, but I'm really excited to see that one. And I think what you're doing with this, traveling around and showing the, The Real side of, of people is a really great and admirable work. Should be proud Deco.

[B]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I really appreciate that. Yeah, I'm trying to, yeah, I'm really, really, really trying to like make that my next thing, you know, I'm trying to make it so that like. I mean, cuz I post that stuff now and people are like, oh, he's trying a new thing. And I'm like, I'm trying to make it like. No, that's the thing that I do. But it's gonna take some time, you know, it's gonna take a lot more videos. I'm just trying to kind of keep my head down and focus on the work, you know, I mean it's. It's been taking too long to make the videos. So it's been fun maker. I love, I love, I love doing, I love doing that stuff. I think I'm gonna try to go to Somaliland next and then maybe. Yeah, India, I'd like to go to India. I. People like kind of talk shit on India a lot and I wanna, I wanna see it for myself. Like, you know, just see what, what the, what the vibe is like.

[A]

I think India has some tropical environments and I think that's good for a gecko, right? I'm not sure I know. I don't know the most of the geckos. Oh my God. I really. I have to tell you something about geckos.

[B]

Tell me something about geckos.

[A]

I have this guitar and I painted geckos on it.

[B]

Oh, that's really cute. Do you play guitar or you just have a guitar?

[A]

I played the guitar. Yeah, I played the guitar. So I'll send it to you later on. I bought this strap and it had geckos on it. And then I thought like, hey, I'm gonna just paint some geckos on this guitar as well. In honor of the big Lyle of the. Of the gecko.

[B]

Thanks man. Thanks, man. Do you, do you, are you. Do you ever join in on the jazz jams?

[A]

Yeah, I did last week in a jazz club called the Hot Club. And it's like these free jazz sessions. I'm not really a jazz musician, not scholar. But it's like free jazz. So you can do whatever you want. Just listen to the other people and just like it's.

[D]

It's freedom, man.

[B]

Cool, cool. Who's your favorite jazz musician of all time?

[A]

I think Ted Baker, definitely. Like John Coltrane, love him. Bill Evans. When you feel, when it, when it's raining outside. Yeah. And I Think in New York, it kind of rains a lot and it's kind of like dreary autumn weather. You got to pull out on some. Some Bill Evans, you know, and then just stare out of the window very melancholically and it'll hit.

[B]

That's what I do. That's what I do with Simon and Garfunkel is I go out and I listen. Dude, if you ever listen to the only living boy in New York when it's like snowy and depressing in New York, it's a great vibe.

[A]

I will remember that. I will remember that once I'm in New York. Hey, are you doing the IRL podcast soon? Because the weather is getting better, right?

[B]

Well, we'll go back to do the RL podcast soon. I just haven't. I haven't been in New York in a bit, so when I get back home, I'll do that. But what's your name again, man?

[A]

Peter.

[B]

Peter. Peter Sellers. Peter Pan. Peter

[A]

Griffin.

[B]

Peter. Peter Griffin. Peter, is there anything you want to say to the people, the computer, before we go?

[A]

Just trust your gut.

[D]

And

[A]

if a lot of people love each other, the world would be a better place to live.

[B]

Hey, thanks, Peter. Have a good rest of your evening jaunting around Belgium.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

See you around the universe.

[B]

Take care, man.

[A]

Bye. Bye.

[B]

That's cool. I'd like. I'd like that. I'd like to be like a known guy around Belgium. Just. Just bar hopping, running around. Not really an expert.

[E]

Liberty Mutual customizes your car and home insurance. And now we're customizing this rush hour ad to keep you calm, which could help your driving. And science says therapy is great for a healthy mindset. So enjoy this 14 second session on us. I think you've done everything right and absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, anything that hasn't gone your way could probably be blamed on your father not being emotional, emotionally available because his father wasn't emotionally available, and so on. And now that you're calm and healing, you're probably driving better, too.

[B]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.