“MY MOM HATES MY POLY LIFESTYLE”

Summary

Podcast Summary: Therapy Gecko – “MY MOM HATES MY POLY LIFESTYLE”

Episode Information:

• Title: MY MOM HATES MY POLY LIFESTYLE
• Podcast: Therapy Gecko
• Host: Lyle (from iHeartPodcasts)
• Release Date: May 21, 2025

---

Overview

In this episode of Therapy Gecko, host Lyle engages in deep and introspective conversations with two callers, Cat and Scott, exploring contrasting perspectives on relationships—polyamory and monogamy. The discussions delve into personal struggles, familial relationships, mental health, and the complexities of modern love. This episode offers listeners a nuanced look at how different relationship dynamics impact individuals' lives and their interactions with loved ones.

---

1. Lyle & Cat: Navigating Familial Tensions Over Polyamory

Introduction to Cat's Situation

The episode kicks off with a heartfelt conversation between Lyle and Cat, a 30-year-old polyamorous individual grappling with her mother's disapproval of her lifestyle.

• Cat shares her anxiety about reuniting with her family after a significant falling out during Christmas. She states, “...this is the first time since then that I'm seeing everybody.” ([02:16]).

The Root of the Conflict

Cat elaborates on the origins of the tension, revealing that her mother's disapproval stems from Cat's choice to live a polyamorous life, which her mother perceives as undermining their relationship.

• Cat: “...I don't have room in my life for her.” ([10:27]).

• Lyle notes the depth of the issue, stating, “That's a very introspective. You went from it was about the basement flooding to it was about all these deeper things.” ([11:14]).

Emotional Struggles and Therapy

Both Lyle and Cat discuss their mental health journeys. Cat emphasizes the importance of using therapeutic tools to maintain her sense of self.

• Cat: “She reminds me, like, to use my tools and that I don't have to let anybody make me feel any kind of way.” ([20:35]).

Attempts at Resolution

Cat recounts a pivotal conversation with her mother where she firmly asserts her stance on polyamory, highlighting her inability to continue the debate.

• Cat: “...I was like, yeah, I'm not going to change my mind.” ([17:44]).

Impact on Family Dynamics

The strain extends beyond just Cat and her mother, affecting her relationship with her stepdad and brother. Cat reflects on the challenges her family faces, especially with her brother's medical complexities.

• Cat: “Thomas has this rare genetic disorder called FG syndrome... he's non-verbal.” ([47:13]).

---

2. Lyle & Scott: Embracing Monogamy Amidst Personal Growth

Introduction to Scott's Journey

Following Cat's call, Scott shares his experiences in transitioning from a long-term monogamous relationship to a new dynamic.

• Scott: “I have a nesting partner. We have a girlfriend and have a platonic partner who I've been with for ages.” ([46:02]).

Contrasting Relationship Styles

Scott highlights the differences between his monogamous lifestyle and Cat's polyamorous approach, providing a balanced view on how both styles can feel natural to different individuals.

• Lyle: “Two completely different lifestyles can both feel deeply natural to respective individuals.” ([80:26]).

Overcoming Relationship Challenges

Scott discusses the challenges he faced, including an eight-year relationship that ended recently and his subsequent marriage to someone he met at 16.

• Scott: “I had a couple years ago where she was going through some mental health issues and wanted to take a break.” ([77:11]).

Personal Growth and Coping Mechanisms

The conversation turns to how both Lyle and Scott use tools like AI and journaling to navigate their mental health and relationship dynamics.

• Scott: “It's kind of like it's doing the analysis of me doing my own analysis of myself.” ([66:52]).

---

3. Themes and Insights

Intergenerational Perspectives on Relationships

A significant theme in this episode is the clash between personal relationship choices and familial expectations. Both callers illustrate how deeply personal lifestyle choices can lead to broader relational conflicts.

Mental Health and Self-Care

Throughout the conversations, the importance of mental health support and self-care practices emerges as crucial for maintaining personal well-being amid relational stress.

The Fluidity of Relationship Structures

The contrasting experiences of Cat and Scott underscore the fluidity and diversity of modern relationship structures, advocating for personal authenticity over societal norms.

---

Notable Quotes

• Cat: “I don't have room in my life for her.” ([10:27])

• Lyle: “That's a very introspective. You went from it was about the basement flooding to it was about all these deeper things.” ([11:14])

• Cat: “She reminds me, like, to use my tools and that I don't have to let anybody make me feel any kind of way.” ([20:35])

• Lyle: “Two completely different lifestyles can both feel deeply natural to respective individuals.” ([80:26])

• Scott: “It's kind of like it's doing the analysis of me doing my own analysis of myself.” ([66:52])

---

Conclusion

In "MY MOM HATES MY POLY LIFESTYLE," Therapy Gecko offers a compelling exploration of how personal relationship choices intersect with family dynamics and mental health. Through engaging dialogues with Cat and Scott, the episode highlights the complexities of navigating love, acceptance, and self-identity in today's diverse relational landscape. Whether you're grappling with similar issues or simply seeking to understand different perspectives, this episode provides valuable insights into the multifaceted nature of human connections.

---

Connect with Therapy Gecko: For more insightful discussions and to join the conversation, follow Therapy Gecko on Twitch and stay updated on live call times, typically on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

Transcript

[Lyle]

You're listening to an iHeart podcast. Hey, folks, this episode is sponsored by ChatGPT Plus. ChatGPT plus is free for college students now through May. That means you have no limits on how many ways you can prompt ChatGPT to help you through the worst part of the school year. There's many ways you can do this, like uploading your class notes and having ChatGPT quiz you on them. Or or asking ChatGPT to take a complicated concept and try to explain it to you in simpler terms to help you understand. ChatGPT plus free for college students through May. Restrictions apply.

[Gemma Spaeg]

This is Gemma Spaeg from the Psychology of your twenties Let your imagination take flight with an AI powered PC from Lenovo. Whether it's creating digital art, designing new software, or building a portfolio for a Future career, their PCs are powered by Intel Core Ultra processors to help students unlock smarter learning and unleash their creativity. That's the power of Lenovo. With intel inside, all you have to do is choose the one that fits your passion. Head to Lenovo.com to shop AI PCs and find your perfect companion. Plus, get 5% off when you create an education account.

[Lyle]

Kick off summer with Memorial Day savings at Lowe's right now. Get five Scott's Naturescapes 1 1/2 cubic foot mulch bags for just $10. Plus get up to 40% off. Select major appliances and save an extra $50 on every $500 you spend on select major appliances. $396 or more. Lowes we help you save valid through 528 Mold Shopper excludes Alaska and Hawaii. Selection varies by location While supplies last. Seeloes.com for more details this season, let.

[Unknown]

Your shoes do the talking. Designer Shoe warehouse is packed with fresh styles that speak to your whole vibe without saying a word from Cool sneakers.

[Lyle]

That look good with everything.

[Unknown]

Sandals you'll want to wear on repeat. DSW has you covered. Find a shoe for every you from the brands you love like Birkenstock, Nike, Adidas, New Balance, and more. Head to your DSW store or visit dsw.com today.

[Lyle]

Hello.

[Cat]

Hello.

[Lyle]

Hi. Hello. Hi. Hey.

[Cat]

Hi. Hello.

[Lyle]

Hello.

[Cat]

How's it going?

[Lyle]

When I was. How old was I? Maybe. Did you ever use aim?

[Cat]

Absolutely.

[Lyle]

How old are you? Can I ask you how old you are?

[Cat]

Yeah, I'm 30.

[Lyle]

Okay. Yes, you've used aim. I. One sec. Like I used to have a lot of conversations that just went like, hey, yeah, hey, what's up? No Substance and mjc cool. You know, and they're all I Don't know where my AIM chats are. I don't know if they're still. I don't think I can still log into. Am I trying to remember what my. My childhood like, you know, we all had like, like stupid emails. Mine was Dr. Worm45mail.com.

[Cat]

Wow. Where did the 45 come from?

[Lyle]

I don't know where the 45 came from, but do you know where the. Do you know where the Dr. Worm came from?

[Cat]

No.

[Lyle]

Okay. It was.

[Cat]

I was just more interested in the 45, I guess.

[Lyle]

Yeah. The 45 is more mysterious. The Dr. Worm is a little bit more. Well, there's a. They might, you know what, the band, they Might Be Giants.

[Cat]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lyle]

They have a song called Dr. Worm and it's about a worm who's a doctor that plays the drums. And I liked that song. So My email is Dr. Worm. What was yours? What was your childhood email?

[Cat]

Was. Yeah, yeah, it was KitKat, like the candy cutie, the letters and then 9 5, which is the year I was born.

[Lyle]

KitKat cutie. I like. That's good. That's a good. I'm honestly, I am genuinely surprised that that wasn't taken.

[Cat]

Kit Kat Q95, but I added 95 to it, so KitKat QT probably was taken, buddy.

[Lyle]

But of all the 30. Of all the. However old you were at the time. 12 year olds.

[Cat]

True.

[Lyle]

That would probably. Because everyone puts. Yeah, the 45 isn't. Isn't the year I was born. That would make me 80. Yeah, yeah, that would make me 80 years old. But I'm surprised I wasn't taken. That's a good one. KitKat QD95.

[Cat]

It's all right. It is. It is not as embarrassing as it could have been.

[Lyle]

You know, I wonder if by talking about this on the podcast we'll get emails to people.

[Cat]

Yeah, I'm expecting to. Yeah.

[Lyle]

Do you still have access?

[Cat]

I will say as soon as I said it. Yeah, as soon as you asked, I was like, oh, I better give the crappy one. So that if I get emails, it doesn't matter.

[Lyle]

What is your name?

[Cat]

Cat.

[Lyle]

Cat. Did you tell me that already?

[Cat]

No.

[Lyle]

Okay, good. I think I'm losing my mind, actually. I'm not.

[Cat]

No, you're. You're not. You're not.

[Lyle]

I'm not.

[Cat]

You're good.

[Lyle]

I'm. I actually, I. I actually. I mean this. I feel very sane in this moment. I feel awesome. I feel good. How do you feel? Do you feel sane in this moment?

[Cat]

I feel. I'll be honest, it's a little surreal. I've been trying to call you for a few days and actually knew that today would be the day that we talk, but still tried, you know, the past couple of days. So I'm just still a little bit reeling that you actually answered two questions.

[Lyle]

One, have we ever spoken before?

[Cat]

We have never spoken before.

[Lyle]

And then two, how did you know that today was going to be the day?

[Cat]

I hate to say it, but it was just a feeling. Just a gut feeling. I have been having some life stuff going on, and today I am chilling at the hospital. My brother's getting discharged, and it's just a good day to be on the phone.

[Lyle]

Do you. Are you typically correct in your gut feelings? Like, have they. Have your premonitions typically came true?

[Cat]

Man, that's a good question. I'm gonna say no, because I texted you a few days ago and was like, today's the day we're gonna talk. And then we didn't. But upon further inspection, it was not the day we were gonna talk. I just knew that we were gonna talk at this season of my life where I'm going through this stuff with my family.

[Lyle]

You know, it is kind of funny because if you're. Yeah, it is kind of funny because, like, if you every single day go, today is the day, you'll eventually be right. So.

[Cat]

Exactly. You know, and that's how I was feeling. I was like, you know what? Today is the day. Today's the day. And then eventually it was right. And now I can be satisfied that I called, I made it in today day.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Or you won't sometimes. Sometimes you'll say, today is the day, and it will never be your day. You know, it's like that. It's like, Friends, it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, your year, your decade, your century, your. If, I guess, if the soul exists beyond death, what would you call that? That's not a lifetime. What's like. What's like a step above a lifetime?

[Cat]

Wow, Great question. Oh, gosh. Like a soul cycle.

[Lyle]

Yeah, it hasn't been your soul cycle, but if that was in the Friends theme song, people would be like, this is too. Definitely.

[Cat]

It would not have been the Friends theme song had it talked about soul cycles.

[Lyle]

No, that would be too much.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Well, you know, listen, I'll be fully honest with you is I think I've been. I just. Yeah, I don't know. Just to, like, set a context for me personally is I think I've been yesterday. I think I tried to record this podcast Yesterday. And I was.

[Cat]

No, I know. I listened yesterday and yesterday, and I was like, wow, this is not. He's gonna try again tomorrow, and we're gonna talk tomorrow, and it'll be better.

[Lyle]

Yeah, Yeah. I. There's a thing. When I record this, I. By the way, I promise. I promise I'm not gonna just talk about myself this whole time, but I just gotta get this stuff.

[Cat]

No, you're fine. I'm vibing. This is great.

[Lyle]

Is that. I tried to. There's like, I've been doing this for five years now, and. And there is several, Several, several, maybe even hundreds of times where I have sat down to try to record this podcast. And I am. I'm not feeling it, and I'm not in the right physical or mental existence to do it. And yesterday was one of those days, and you were there. You saw. You saw it on the Twitch stream.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

But today, I don't know if the violence is kicking. I don't know if it's the fact that it's noon and not 9pm but, yeah, I'm ready to. Yeah, I'm. Hit me with whatever you got. Let's get. Let's give it. I will give it. Let's give this a try. Let's give this conversation our best try on both ends and see what the fuck happens. So what's up, Cat?

[Cat]

So I am in Maryland. I am not from Maryland, but my parents and my little brother live here, and my little brother is, like, incredibly medically complex. See, later if you want, but he was hospitalized for an infection and is getting out today, which is amazing, But I came to visit him, and this is the first time that I'm seeing my mom since we got in a huge fight at Christmas.

[Lyle]

Mm.

[Cat]

Well, so I'm like, awesome that I get to see my brother, and I just have a lot of anxiety in my body because this is the first time since then that I'm seeing everybody.

[Lyle]

And everybody is your mom and your brother. Is there anyone else?

[Cat]

Yeah, my mom, my stepdad, and my brother.

[Lyle]

Are you cool with your stepdad?

[Cat]

Yeah, we're cool.

[Lyle]

Can I ask what was the fight about?

[Cat]

Yeah, you can ask for sure. You know, it was, like, a culmination of a lot of things I want to say. It was about the basement flooding, and I didn't, like, jump up to help right away, but really it was about my mom not feeling cared for in our relationship and feeling like ever since I chose this polyamorous lifestyle that I don't have room in my life for her. While simultaneously I am dealing with, like, I have a lot of insecurities about my life choices and things that I think that my mom would disapprove of. And so when she tells me that she does indeed disapprove, I'm just like, okay, I don't want to sit here and like, tell you that it's okay and convince you that it's okay, because I already did that for myself. I don't have the bandwidth to do it for you too.

[Lyle]

Well, that's a. That's a very introspective. You went from it was about the basement flooding to it was about all these deeper things.

[Cat]

Yeah, I think the basement flooding was just the catalyst to get us yelling at each other, you know?

[Lyle]

Yeah, yeah, it's. No, it's never just about the basement. It's never just about the fucking. The whatever stupid thing, but. So you said it's about your mom doesn't feel cared for enough?

[Cat]

I think so. And I'm putting words into her mouth because I've been avoiding the conversation. So we haven't had like the direct conversation, but if I could project and read her mind a little bit, it's that like, well, okay, so to give you even more context, in 2020, my husband passed away and my mom, like, came up to Chicago to live with me for several weeks and like, really helped me, took care of me. And then that's been five years and I have grown and gone through a lot of therapy and made new friends and have new partners and just like have a totally different support system now. And I think my mom is feeling like, cut out of that. Not that she's cut out, but I definitely rely on her less now than I did five years ago.

[Lyle]

Does your mom have like, her own life? I mean, she has her stat. She is, she is. She's married.

[Cat]

She's married. She has my brother who's 25, and she and my stepdad are his like full time caregivers and will be until he passes away. Which could be. Well, we were thinking it could be this week, but now he looks fine and so we're thinking like weeks to months. So, like, he's with him a bunch. She has a job that she's really successful at. She has book club. She's hosting a baby shower girl in her book club. Like she's got stuff going on.

[Lyle]

Yeah, interesting. No, it sounds like she's got a lot of shit going on, but, like, I don't. Why is she like. Is she just like guilting you about shit.

[Cat]

So, like, my mental health has been really rough the past year and a half. And from her perspective, it is rough because, like, relationship turmoil from being polyamorous and dating multiple people. And from her perspective, my choices are contributing to my mental health. From my perspective, which is, you know, more accurate because I am the one living my life. I know that the choices that I'm making are getting me out of the mental health issues. But I think from her perspective, and also because, like I said, I don't need her as much now, so I'm not relying on her as much, so she's not getting as much information about my life. I think she just has, like, such a limited perspective that she felt the need to tell me, like, hey, you are doing it wrong.

[Lyle]

Yeah. I mean, that's the thing when you have, like, when your fucking kids are. I mean, that's the thing when your daughter is 30 years old, your. Yeah. I mean, if you were 16 and you had 17 boyfriends or whatever, then maybe, yeah, maybe. Maybe your mom was a little bit more justified in chiming in. But by 30, it's like, you know, whatever you have to say about my life is, you know, you're entitled to your opinion about it, but you have no. You. You have no sway. It's like. What's the Bob Dylan song? The times are a Changing parrot.

[Cat]

Yes.

[Lyle]

Do you know the lot? There's a line. It's about pet. Ah, crap. Well, I want to look this up. Hold on. Sorry.

[Cat]

Good. Look it up.

[Lyle]

I'm looking it up. It's a. It's a. The times, they are a changing. The classic classically from the opening of the Watchmen movie. Have you seen that?

[Cat]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lyle]

Okay. He goes. It goes. Come, come mothers and fathers throughout the land and don't criticize what you can't understand. Your sons and your daughters are beyond your command. Bam. That's what's. That's what we got. That's. That's what we got. That's. That's what's going on here.

[Cat]

That's it.

[Lyle]

Speaking the truth. So, yeah, I mean, your mom. Your mom's got to listen to. Maybe you should send her that song. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe you text her. Maybe you text her that song and you're like, that's. That's what you gotta accept. That's her journey. Is. Is. Is accepting that. That. That little part of the song. Yeah. You know, and I get why that would make her hard to hang out with if she is. Hasn't accepted that.

[Cat]

Yeah. Well. And it's Hard, too, because, like, my mom and I were really, really close. Like, I said, like, she lived with me for a little bit when my husband died, and then even before that, like, she was only 20 when I was born, so we really grew up together. And, like, are really close or were really close, Question mark. I don't know. And so it's weird for me, too. Like, I have a lot of grief about the state of our relationship currently, and I'm like, this is not how I would prefer it. And that doesn't change that. Like, I just don't have the emotional bandwidth to convince her that I'm making the right life choices.

[Lyle]

You can't. You. Well, you literally can't.

[Cat]

Right. Right. True.

[Lyle]

What? Well, I guess, like, I mean, when. When you talk to her about these things, how does that conversation go? Like, are you like, hey, mom, listen, I'm never gonna. I know you have your ideas of how I should be living my life, and you're entitled to have ideas about whatever it is that you want, but I would. I just. I don't want to hear him anymore.

[Cat]

She's like, but I'm your mom, and you need to hear what I have to say. You need to hear my perspective.

[Lyle]

Mm.

[Cat]

But I'm like, but I don't need to. You need me to. And that's different.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Cat]

And I did, like, I did sit and listen to her, like, last. Let's see, in October, she flew out to see me, and we talked, like, pretty intensely and emotionally, and I just straight up told her, like, I sat and I listened, and I was like, yeah, I'm not going to change my mind. Like, this is not a contin. A conversation that I'm willing to continue having with you for you to tell me that polyamory is wrong for me. Like, I'm just not open to hearing your perspective because you don't know. You haven't done the research. You don't have the experience. Like, you have your own insecurities around it, and that's. I just don't want to deal with that, and I don't have to. And she didn't like that.

[Lyle]

Yeah, that's a bummer. That's a bummer. I wish I had anything. I. I wish I had anything better to tell you other than that. That's a bummer.

[Cat]

Yeah, it is a bummer.

[Lyle]

You know? Yeah. I don't know, because you. You're like, I. If you look anyone out there, if you have a. If you have a parent who's, like, unconditionally supportive of you. It's like, it. Striking gold, you know?

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

And it's hard to deal with it if it's. If they're. If they're not. I'm. I. I'm not a real therapist or I'm not. I don't even think I'm a fake therapist. I'm just doing a podcast.

[Cat]

You're absolutely a fake therapist.

[Lyle]

I get. You know what? I guess if you call yourself the therapy gecko and you. And you pretend to give people. Yeah, I guess. I guess I'm. Yeah. Anyway. Well. Well, okay. Okay. Have you ever talked to a real therapist about this? And if you do, what do they have to say?

[Cat]

Oh, yeah, I talk to my real therapist all the time.

[Lyle]

What does your real therapist say?

[Cat]

She basically reminds me, like, to use my tools and that I don't have to let anybody make me feel any kind of way, which is actually funny because that's advice that my mom has given me my whole life, usually about other relatives. And then just, like, reminding me about some other therapy stuff, like Wise Mind, which is you have, like, the emotional part of your brain, and then you have the logical part of your brain, and Wise Mind is bringing those two together and making decisions from both. And so reminding me, like, don't just look at the details on paper. Don't just look at how you're feeling about a situation. Like, use all of it and take all the data and make your decisions accordingly. And just, like, reassuring me of my sense of self also, because we've done a lot of work on that since my husband passed away.

[Lyle]

What's your. So, like, I'm very. What's your relationship like with your stepdad? I know we kind of talked about it a little bit, but, like, is he, like. Because. Because the stepdad is. Is a bit of a central figure, I think, in this, of, like, you know, like, does he play a voice of reason? Is he on your side? Is he, like, hey, you know, give. Give the kid a break? Is he. What's his kind of. Not that it really matters in the, like, processing of all. Not that it really matters in the processing of all of this, but I'm just curious.

[Cat]

I don't really know. I think for the most part, he just, like, stayed out of it at Christmas. Like, try to mediate between us a little and remind us, like, hey, don't say anything that you're gonna regret. I feel like at that point, it was too late, though. Like, I was already figuring out how I was gonna suddenly fly home and leave the trip. But for the most part he's like encouraging to both of us to do it our way. Whatever that looks like.

[Lyle]

So tell me, I guess like aside from what's going on with your mom, Tell me about, tell me about the polyamory stuff. What's, what's been. Your. What's been. Journey with that. I think about this stuff a lot because like, I don't know, like being on. I don't know, I think these are not refined thoughts. I'm gonna think aloud for a second, but it's like I think there's something to be said about like I'm trying to figure out how I want to live my own life and it's. Yeah, there's something to be said about like committing to one person and then like you have like doing the work of like figuring it fucking out with like one.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Person. And like, you know, you, the idea, the idea is you, you pick someone and then yeah. You grow with them and you fight with them and you work it out and you, you continue on. But, but, but the idea that like, like I don't believe like soul mates makes no sense to me. The idea of like there, there's one person who's. One person who's perfect for you and you happen to meet them out of the infinite amount of people that like, that's. There's no way. There's just no way.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

And I also, I also believe in, you know, that like, like the, like the abundance of love and all that shit of like, well, I have, you know, tons of friends. Why can't that exist? Why can't that, you know, be. Why can't I have infinite love for multiple people? And the truth, the truth is I actually, I don't think to say which of those things is to say like, okay, the path of commitment and we're going to fuck. I'm just choosing this and we're going to do it. There's, there's growth there and there's positive things there versus the acceptance of like. I'm going to live with just the utmost abundance of love and I'm actually going to learn how to juggle and be in like, you know, multiple, abundant. What's the word? There's a fucking thing I'm trying to think of like, like, like, like anti possession kind of shit. And I'm going to learn how to be. I'm going to learn how to be so fucking loving to so many people that I have no desire to possess them in any way.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

You know, and I Think. And I think both. Both kind of lifestyles. There's no. Neither of them are, you know, correct. Tm. They both kind of. They both bring with them their own sense of, you know, struggles and their own senses of benefits. So I'm curious. You. Which. What. How, you know, what your journey has been like on that.

[Cat]

Yeah. Yeah. So my husband and I were monogamous and Christian. Like, super Christian. I was working in the church, and he was super involved in the church. And when he passed away, there was also, like, some just, like, bullshit drama that happened at the church. And so the church ended up closing also. Luckily, I had another job lined up, because I was trying to get another job anyway. And so I transitioned to working in marketing, which, like, I was doing marketing for churches anyway. And then I eventually started dating very, very casually. And in dating casually, I was dating a lot of people who were either polyamorous or in open relationships. Because people who casually date are casual daters. Right. It just makes. So A lot of the people that I was dating were also dating other people. And I was just like, well, yeah, sure, I could try this. I dated a guy for two years in Greece, and I actually, like, flew back and forth to see him a bunch. And at first, we were just super casual, like friends with benefits. But we were pretty into each other, and if I was gonna be there, we would hang out. But we weren't, like, gonna get married or anything. Like, we were committed as long as it served both of us. But then after being together for, like, a year and a half, I was like, well, we've put in so much time. Like, we should be more serious than this. Like, we should be committed, committed. But for him, that looked like more exclusivity than I was comfortable with, because by that point, I had already met other people in Chicago that I really liked spending time with, hanging out with, dating, hooking up with. And I wasn't willing to give up those connections. And there was one in particular that Greek boyfriend was especially, like, insecure about. And he was asking me, like, hey, if we're gonna be committed and serious, I don't think that you should still be with this person. And I was like, but I love this person, and I want to be with this person indefinitely, so I'm not going to do that. So we broke up. And then my partner Javon and I have been together and are doing well, and we date together and separate and have other partners also. But we live together and, like, do life together, share finances, share an apartment. He's feeding the cats while I'm gone. I love our relationship. Our relationship is amazing and beautiful and wonderful. I just rambled a bunch.

[Lyle]

No, no, that was great. That's great. I. By the way, I like, I really do. I really. I really do get. I feel where you're coming from because, like, people, you know, I think people mistake, like, oh, I could never do that with. Nobody can ever do that, you know?

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

So that's. Yeah, that's. I mean, that's probably what's going on with. Yeah.

[Cat]

Oh, I could never do that with the pretense or the undertones of. And neither can you.

[Lyle]

Right, Right. But I don't know. We live in. We live in an abundant world where everyone can kind of fucking do whatever they want.

[Cat]

Yeah. And that's. I mean, one of my core values is to do it for the bit, like everything can't be so serious. And that's not to say that, like, my dating life isn't serious. Like, I have a lot of very serious committed relationships. It's just that commitment and exclusivity are not mutually exclusive.

[Lyle]

That's an interesting concept. Tell me, tell me more about what you mean by that.

[Cat]

Well, I'm wholeheartedly committed to my partner, Javon, and that doesn't mean that I can't be committed to other people. Also, it's like you were saying about friendships. It's like you don't have one friend, and that's the only friend that you do stuff with. You have a bunch of friends and for a bunch of activities. Right. Like, there's one friend you go to the movies with to see an action movie, and there's another friend you go to see a rom com. And it's just like the same kind of thing, but for dating and incorporating sex and romance into those relationships also.

[Lyle]

Mm.

[Cat]

And there's no reason that you can only do that in one relationship.

[Lyle]

Yeah. I have. I have to ask though, cuz it. Here's the one thing is that there is a. The one thing that you. I mean, one of the. One of the many challenges to the lifestyle, I assume, is that you have a finite amount of time in an.

[Cat]

Totally.

[Lyle]

You have a fight 20. You have 24 hours in a day.

[Cat]

Yeah. That is my most difficult thing.

[Lyle]

I mean. Yeah. For most people it's like. I mean, polyamory, isn't it? Like, forget about anything logistically. I mean. I'm sorry. Forget about anything emotionally. It's just like, logistically between, you know, having to work for however many hours you got to work and Having to do laundry and brush your teeth and go to that, you know, just do everything. I mean, how do you have genuine question, how do you have time to have all these commitments and all these relationships?

[Cat]

Yeah, I'm probably the wrong person to ask because I left my job and started my own business partially to free up my time, partially because I was just ready to do that, but so there's that. So I work a lot less now and the work that I do is significantly more meaningful. And then it also honestly helps that I am dating people who are dating each other because then we can hang out together versus when I've dated people who are not dating the people that I'm dating. It's like a lot more logistically challenging just to find time. And I feel like that's the like, not argument necessarily, but like that's what I end up like getting frustrated with partners about is time management either on their end or mine. Of like, okay, well I set aside this time for you and you didn't take me up on it. Or like we had this date planned and you double booked or I double booked or whatever it is. It's like time management is like the most annoying part.

[Lyle]

That's so. No, the thing you said about. Yeah, like if you have two boyfriends, but the two boyfriends are also boyfriends. That's. I mean, that's perfect. That's perfect because you can go. Because that means you can go do whatever the thing you're gonna do. And then your boyfriends are boyfriend ended up with each other. You know, you don't worry about.

[Cat]

Well, like last night. Exactly. Last night, like I flew out to Maryland and so my girlfriend was over at my apartment with my partner and she like stayed over and got up this morning and went to work and I'm like, wow, how great that my partner was not home alone. Like how wonderful that he had company.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Cat]

And company that I love and trust versus like company that I don't know anything about.

[Lyle]

What business do you do?

[Cat]

I am a business consultant. I help creative people organize their self care passion project or small business.

[Lyle]

Interesting. How long have you been doing that?

[Cat]

I started in January.

[Lyle]

And how is it? How's it going?

[Cat]

It's going great. I love all of the clients that I'm working with. I'm doing a lot more one on one coaching than I was expecting. I was expecting to do more like small business consulting where I have like contracts with small businesses. But actually a lot of the work that I'm doing is just like one on One calls with people who are doing some form of passion project and they just need help like with project management or resources or training, stuff like that. So I have a client that I'm helping develop a marketing strategy for her self published children's book. I have a client that I'm helping her outline her like branding guidelines for her own business because she doesn't quite have the budget to pay someone else to do it. But I was like, well, I can do it, but it's better if I teach you how to do it. So I'm doing that stuff like that.

[Lyle]

That makes, you know, you're very easy to talk to. So it makes sense that you have this like one. One kind of coaching job.

[Cat]

Yeah, it suits me. I enjoy it a lot. And I don't know, I have been in therapy like all of my life, literally all of my life actually, since my brother was born because he's special needs. The like therapy center for him where he would do like his physical therapy. They also offered mental health services to the siblings. So I started therapy like super young and have just like, I don't know, absorbed it all. And I like passing on knowledge not just about like business stuff, but everything like holistic care. And I really think that self care, like is part of your work and your business. It's like the crucial part. It's the part that everything is built off of. So I'm glad that I get to do that for other people and with other people.

[Lyle]

I'm gonna go ahead. I don't know what's going on in the twitch chat, but if you're down, I'll see if the twitch chat has any. Any questions. Are you a real gecko? I'm not gonna answer that.

[Cat]

Clearly. Yes. Speaking of, are you a real gecko? Is when your little like intro theme song plays or your outro theme song and it says buddy's not really. We say a gecko.

[Lyle]

Oh, oh, I. I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta update that intro song. I gotta get a new one.

[Cat]

I know that's not the words, but it's fun. So.

[Lyle]

Okay, here's a question. Someone asks if STDs are ever a concern.

[Cat]

Yeah, for sure. So we're just like really open and talking about testing and also using barriers and we just have those conversations a lot more than other people.

[Lyle]

Someone asked what was the transition like from being employed to self employed?

[Cat]

Fucking terrifying. I have like a good savings account that I built up for this and it still like hurts me emotionally to dig into it. Like I Know that that's why I have the money. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, like, I'm gonna burn through my savings. It's like, that's literally what it's for. Yeah, it's really just like the mindset shift of, like, I am fully responsible for my income versus when I was working at a business. It was like, there was a little bit of, like, sales and lead generation in my job, but I wasn't doing all of it. Whereas now I'm doing all of it. Like, if I need a new client, it's my responsibility to go out and find a new client.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Cat]

And that, like, I knew all of that going in, but it's still quite a lot to. To juggle and to get used to.

[Lyle]

Are you. You started in January. Are you. Are you. Are you in the green?

[Cat]

Not yet.

[Lyle]

What's been your, like, process for gathering clients and whatnot?

[Cat]

So it's funny, when I moved to Chicago back in the day, like, five years ago, I did it. Or six years. Oh, my gosh. I raised support as a missionary to do that. And so I had, like, a pitch deck that I would show to people from the church and say, here's why you should invest in my position at this church, and here's the impact that I'm going to make. I just, like, took that framework and created it for my business. And so I made, like, an investor deck. I scheduled calls with a bunch of my friends and family and just anybody who would get on a call with me. And then I asked them to do something, whether it's like, book a call with me to move forward as a client, refer me to someone else, or shout me out on social media. And then I just did that over and over again until I got a client load I was happy with.

[Lyle]

I guess that kind of the missionary thing leads into this other question. Are you still a Christian?

[Cat]

That's a tough question. I don't think so. I don't know. I think there's a lot of value in the community that you get from the church. Like, I have a lot of really close friends, like family friends from the church. I think church can be awesome. I think it also can be awful. The, like, party line from Christians is, well, it's not God that makes church awful. It's people. And it's like, yeah, I get that. And I don't know, I'm more spiritual. I don't think I'm Christian. I'm not like, Jesus saves or anything anymore. But I'm also not anti Church.

[Lyle]

You know, the dude I. Yeah. People listening to this podcast know that this. This year. This. This year has been unintentionally been for me the year of the existential crisis. And I've been thinking a lot about. I've like, been thinking about things that I have not really. I mean, that, you know, everyone thinks about, like, you know, what the is this? And, you know, how did consciousness get to be. And what happens after we die and all that stuff. But this year, for this year, I got like. Really? Yeah, it's called existential depression. Like, I got really into it and I almost. I think it's. The other day I was like, thinking about it and I was like, oh, wait, I actually do think. I'm like. I was. I was like, wait, is there actually fucking might be a God? And not in like a. Not in like a. Obviously like the God as It's kind of like the way it's been like.

[Cat]

Like a higher being. Like.

[Lyle]

Yeah, yeah, like a higher being. Like, like the way it's been like, weaponized.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

To like, you know, other people and to fucking, you know, like, I don't think, like. I don't think I believe in heaven and hell. Although I. Who. I don't. Who knows. I. At this point, it all roads leads. All roads kind of lead to there being no definitive answer. But when people talk about like. I'm not bothered when people talk about like God and Jesus because I think God and Jesus are just like. They're just allegory. I don't know if allegory is the right word.

[Cat]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Lyle]

They're just placeholders for like a higher power. And when you really think about like, what a fucking miracle and like what insanity it is to like, be conscious, you. You. It almost like the fact like they're being a hot. There. There must be a higher power, which. And it's not necessarily like a dude in the sky or like. Right, right.

[Cat]

I mean, for me, just like the design of like the earth, one place where our like, human being is able to exist and has the right ozone, whatever in the air. And like, all of that to me indicates like some sort of higher power designing things or orchestrating things.

[Lyle]

Yeah, yeah. But I mean, there also is like, you could take a nihilistic approach to it and be like, it's all just a random chaotic.

[Cat]

Sure.

[Lyle]

A cosmic mistake. But still. But. But even. But even. But even if it's all a mistake and it's all random, it's like, well, so the. That's. That still doesn't explain a lot of stuff, you know, So I don't know. But yeah, but yeah, the fact that it's like, so I don't know anytime, like when, like, like even like prayer, like I like, I pray now. You're like, I find my. I've talked about this before. Like I'll do this thing like when I'm like traveling, like if I'm going through airport security and you know, there's that moment when you, you like, you don't have any of your stuff and you don't have your phone and you're standing there and you're waiting. I'll like clasp my hands and look up and it's like, wow, wow.

[Cat]

Like actually pray.

[Lyle]

Yeah, it's like prayer, but it's again, it's not like, it's not like Jesus or Catholic. It's just like we randomly somehow got to evolve into these like into conscious beings. It's so insane. There are, there obviously there's like, you know, scientific whatever of like the neurons create consciousness or whatever, but there's, there's still so many questions that like can't be answered. And the answer is not necessarily like there was a God and he created the life and he wants you to, you know, never have sex and never, you know, like that stuff, that, that stuff is all fucking stupid. But like, yeah, the idea that there's something more conscious than us makes total sense. So I just, I sub that in now. I don't get annoyed when people talk about Jesus or anything like that because I just sub it in with like they're just seeking a higher power, the seeking answers, you know, it's only annoying when people use it. Yeah, go ahead. Sorry.

[Cat]

Yeah, it's annoying when they like try and force it on you. Exactly. They're like, oh well, you should change your XYZ because I believe this. It's like, okay, we can stop this conversation now. Versus if they're just telling me about their belief system, I'm like, oh cool, tell me more.

[Lyle]

Right, right. Yeah, it's annoying when they do that when they try to push it on you or when they like use it to be like, well, yeah, again, I guess, I guess. Yeah, I guess. Actually all forms of like religious powered hatred are just like extremities of trying to force your religion upon other people.

[Cat]

Yeah, well, and I hate that that religious powered hatred is veiled under the guise of religious powered love. It's like, well, we're just telling you this because we care so much about you. Like you clearly don't, because you're telling me this.

[Lyle]

Although, you know, it's fun, and I. Although. To be. Maybe it's wrong to be sympathetic to this degree, but I also. I was thinking. I was like, maybe it's wrong to be sympathetic to this degree, but I. I was thinking. I was like. I was like, you know, if I were convinced that.

[Cat]

Right.

[Lyle]

If I were convinced unfallibly of these things, then of course I'd be like.

[Cat]

Yeah, yeah, I have the best news in the world. I have.

[Lyle]

I have the best of. Yeah, of course. Louis CK has this joke where he's like, you know, like. Like people who are, like, anti abortion. Like, yeah. Like, they, like, in their minds, they think that you're killing babies. And so, of course, if you think that people are killing. But of course, if you're convinced that you think that people are killing babies, you're gonna stand outside of the Planned Parenthood. Doesn't make it right. But of course that's what you're gonna do if that's what you're convinced of, so.

[Cat]

Exactly.

[Lyle]

You know what? I. None of these are all just, you know, things to think about, I guess. I don't fucking know. But.

[Cat]

Yeah, I don't know either. You talk a lot about, like, recording your thoughts on the Internet, and I feel very similar. I'm like, oh, my God, all of this is recorded and I'm gonna change my mind tomorrow.

[Lyle]

Yes, exactly. But whatever. I'll. Here's what. Here's what happened is I'll change my mind tomorrow. Somebody will be like, well, in here, you said this about this. And I'll be like, well, you know, whatever. I'm. It makes. Honestly. What's in it, Cat. It makes me. Yeah. Yeah. It makes me very. I'm very happy. And I feel that, you see, you really get where I'm coming from on all these things, and that makes me. That makes me feel. Feel very seen. So I appreciate this conversation very much.

[Cat]

You're so welcome. And I know that you don't see it this way, but we spend a lot of time together.

[Lyle]

This is true. It's true. You spend a lot. It's true. We have a. Yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah.

[Cat]

I listen to you talk a lot, so it makes sense.

[Lyle]

Hold on. We might have another. Let me. Let me see if we have any more com. Any more questions from the chat. Oh, someone wants to know, how many partners do you have?

[Cat]

I would say three right now. I have a nesting partner. We have a girlfriend and have a platonic partner who I've been with for ages, but we're long distance right now.

[Lyle]

Let's see. Oh, how did you meet your partners? Someone wants to know.

[Cat]

Okay, so Javon and I met on Tinder. We were just, like, looking, and then we actually really liked each other and, like, fell in love, which was a little problematic because we both had other partners at the time who weren't super chill with us falling in love. And then I met our girlfriend through Javon. He already knew her. I don't know how they met. I assume on the app. And then my platonic partner. We were friends in college.

[Lyle]

When you say you had partners that weren't chill with you falling in love, are you. Is it, like, did you have agreements with them where it's like, look, have sex with whoever you want, but, like, I want to be your.

[Cat]

Exactly. I want to be your connection.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Okay, that makes sense.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Someone wants to know your thoughts on Playboi Cardi.

[Cat]

On what?

[Lyle]

Play Playboy Cardi.

[Cat]

Playboy Cardi. I don't know. I have none.

[Lyle]

Okay, Okay. I don't have any either. All right, well, well, Cat, I, I. Is there anything else that. Did we cover all bases if we didn't?

[Cat]

We cover so much, dude. I mean, I would love if. If you're cool with it, I'd love to tell you a little bit about my brother because he's, like, my hero.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Oh, also, yeah, I do want to hear about your brother. I also. Don't let me forget. But I wanna. We'll do this at the very end. I want to give you. Don't let me forget about this. I want to give you the opportunity to shout out your business. I don't know if you have a. An email.

[Cat]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lyle]

Instagram or whatever. But, yeah, go ahead. Tell me about your brother.

[Cat]

So his name is Thomas. He has this rare genetic disorder called FG syndrome, which it. It doesn't matter what it's called, but it basically, his body and his brain, like, don't connect the way that they're supposed to. And so that's caused a whole bunch of issues throughout his life. He. We call him Bionic Boy because he has so many, like, medical devices attached to him, fused to his spine. He has the muscle relaxer pump under his abdomen, like under the skin that sends muscle relaxers straight to his spinal system. He has. He's on, like, bagged nutrition. So instead of a feeding tube, it just goes directly to his bloodstream. It's really fucking cool. He likes to play piano. He likes to read books. He loves to Watch movies. He was on a really big Marvel kick. But then I think he finally got tired of Marvel. After watching like all of the movies in chronological order and release order like a hundred times over. I think he's finally moved on to other action movies now. See, he's quadriplegic, so he doesn't have functionally quadriplegic. He doesn't have like full range of motion of his limbs. He can like turn pages in a book and like press keys on a keyboard, but he doesn't have very much control of his motor skills. He's wheelchair bound. He's non verbal. He can communicate with like yes, no with his eye movement or like he'll raise his eyebrows for yes or lower them for no, but for the most part we just kind of read his mind.

[Lyle]

Does he like type or write or anything?

[Cat]

He did type for a while, but it's like so much physical effort for him to be able to type that there's just very little that's worth it to him for the energy of communicating.

[Lyle]

He's 25, right?

[Cat]

Yeah, well, he'll be 20, 25 in September.

[Lyle]

Sorry if you mentioned this already, but has he, is he been like this his whole life or was it something that developed?

[Cat]

It's gotten like worse through his whole life. So it's like every year he's had some sort of medical complication. Not necessarily every year, but pretty much every year. And so it's like usually one thing at a time. So when he was little little like there was barely anything wrong, so to speak. And then as he or his body just like couldn't keep up, like if you're in a wheelchair and you don't like walk around and move your muscles, then your muscles atrophy. So his body has just been like falling apart his whole life.

[Lyle]

What was your, what was your guys relationship like like growing up?

[Cat]

We actually didn't realize that he was not also mentally handicapped until he was like 14. So that was the first time he ever typed a sentence. Before that, like we were chill, but I didn't know he was in there, you know, so like we would hang out, watch movies, whatever. But like I was like, how can this relationship be like, I don't know, we thought he was a vegetable. And then it was like, oh my gosh, he's not a vegetable, he's a real kid. He's in there and can talk and tell us things. And I have a lot of guilt for like not being around more, but I'm trying to just let go of that and be around as much as I want to instead.

[Lyle]

Does he have a nice relationship with your stepmom and your mom?

[Cat]

Yeah, I think so. I think they. So during the pandemic it was pretty rough because there was the shortage of healthcare workers. And so it was literally just my mom and my stepdad taking care of him 24 7. And they all got burnt out from each other. Now they have like nursing care in the house again. And so I feel like the relationship is much better not just between like my brother and my parents, but even between my mom and my stepdad. Like, I feel like they finally get a break from caregiving now.

[Lyle]

Wait, where are you right now, by the way? I hear a lot of people.

[Cat]

I'm in the hospital lobby. Yeah.

[Lyle]

Oh, right, right. An elevator just came by, mentioned that you mentioned that. What? Forgive me if you mentioned this already, but what's up with your dad?

[Cat]

My dad is a chill guy. He and my mom got divorced when I was young and my brother was young. So my brother is his biological child also. He's remarried. He lives with his wife in small town Indiana.

[Lyle]

And are you. Is he. Do you guys, like, are you guys cool and you're cool with his. His wife and everything?

[Cat]

Yeah, yeah, we're cool. He wasn't around a ton when I was growing up because he had work stuff and I was with my mom, who's his ex wife. And I have a lot of just like grace and understanding for that. And I talk a lot lately about how like, my dad and I's relationship now that I'm an adult is so much better. And then my mom kind of jokes like, well, that's because you lowered your standards. But like, yeah, it is because I lowered my standards because, like, my dad never asked to have me. Like, they just got pregnant. He did the best he could and left his wife and still like showed up for me. So yeah, I did lower my standards. I'm cool with that. But he and my brother haven't really been able to see each other, like, since my mom and them moved out here to Maryland. They used to live in Indiana also.

[Lyle]

Mmm hmm. Trying to think. Was there anything else you wanted to. You wanted to mention about your. Your brother or your family or, you know, kind of anything at all? Before we get into. I want to let you do your plugs.

[Cat]

Yeah. Yeah. Gosh, I don't think so. I'm just, I'm so thrilled we got to talk today.

[Lyle]

Yeah, absolutely. Here. What's. Okay, so what. Where do people. If people want your Your coaching services or. Yeah, any of these things where they find you.

[Cat]

If you want help with your self care or your passion project or your small business, you can follow me on Instagram at. Cat makes stickers. That's Kat with K. From there you can check out my website if you want or just follow I also. Well, by the name you can tell make stickers as my like lead generating thing. So you can also see the stickers that I've been designing and working on.

[Lyle]

Cat makes stickers. There's no. No. No X's or underscores or numbers or anything.

[Cat]

No.

[Lyle]

Cat makes stickers.

[Cat]

Straightforward.

[Lyle]

Yep, pretty good. What kind of stickers do you make?

[Cat]

Whatever I feel like. Just like fun stuff. Today I was working on a sticker of my mom's pets, but in the style of like the Stardew Valley pets.

[Lyle]

Here, hold on. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. Is it. Is it embarrassing if I check this out while we're on the phone?

[Cat]

No.

[Lyle]

Okay. Cool. Stickers. Cat makes stickers. Cool. Oh, you gotta. Oh, this is cool. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, you got the Powerpuff Girls. Oh, hell yeah. You're really doing it. This is sick.

[Cat]

I'm trying, man.

[Lyle]

This is like for helping folks with like.

[Cat]

Yes, I am. I am really doing it.

[Lyle]

This is. This is like helping folks with like ADHD and shit like that.

[Cat]

Yes.

[Lyle]

Okay. Sick. Sick. No. Well, look, I'll say this just by talking to you is that I. I really enjoyed talking to you, Cat. You're very. I can just, you know, from the hour. Ish. That we got to talk. I could tell you're very empathetic, understanding person. So.

[Cat]

Wow. I'm going to quote you on my website.

[Lyle]

You know what? I full. You can. I will. I will endorse you. I will. This is. I will give. I have a full. I don't know if what we. I guess what we just did counts as some form of a one. One conversation. And so I will give you. I will give you a. An official endorsement. Put me on the. Put me on the back of whatever CDs you put out or anything like that.

[Cat]

Yeah. Yeah. Great.

[Lyle]

Cat, is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?

[Cat]

You know what? No, I feel good. This was great.

[Lyle]

Perfect. Thank you, Kat. Have a good rest of the day.

[Cat]

You too.

[Lyle]

Bye. Bye. That was a great conversation. I love. I love talking to that person. That was. That was great. That was really great. No, definitely. I hope she gets some business. That would be. That would be super cool. To me if she got some business off of this, I'm gonna cool. One of my favorite things now is like, if somebody I love, like if somebody shouts out their shit on the podcast, I'll like, after I release the episode, I'll wait a few days and then I'll go to their Instagram and I'll like, I like, I'll see the look at the comments and there'll be a bunch of people being like, Geck sent me here. And I'll be like, that's sick. I did that with the, there was the, there was of course the cave guy and then there was the woman on the boat. And yeah, it's cool. It's cool watching like their followers go up and shit. But yeah, yeah. Shout out. Shout out. Kat makes stickers. That was a good conversation. Yeah, the more I, I don't know. The more, the more I, I don't know that was. I don't know if I have any post call thoughts aside from that. I think everything, everything that was said is, is. Was good. That was good. Hey folks. This episode is sponsored by ChatGPT Plus. ChatGPT plus is free for college students now through May. That means you have no limits on how many ways you can prompt ChatGPT to help you through the worst part of the school year. There's many ways you can do this, like uploading your class notes and having ChatGPT quiz you on them, or asking ChatGPT to take a complicated concept and try to explain it to you in simpler terms to help you understand. You can even use it to help design a diet and exercise plan that optimizes your energy for studying. You can use the voice feature to practice interviewing for jobs post graduation. You can use it to practice a new language for a summer trip abroad. It can help you organize your hectic schedule so you can block out time to study certain subjects and make sure you're getting things done. There are endless ways that ChatGPT plus can help you on your academic journey. ChatGPT plus free for college students through May. Restrictions apply.

[Gemma Spaeg]

This is Jemma Spaeg from the psychology of your twenties unlock smarter learning with Lenovo AI powered PCs powered by Intel Core Ultra processors. Head to lenovo.com and choose from multiple devices to fit your passions. If you're a gamer, you can spend less time stressing about GPUs and CPUs and more time dominating with the AI enabled smart engine with which optimizes your game performance in real time. Or maybe you're a scientist on the verge of a groundbreaking discovery and need a device with a longer battery life and AI enhanced tools to give you extra time to finish your research. Or you're a musician preparing for your biggest break and need better, faster AI tools to make digital art a breeze like creating band posters and T shirt designs. Or you're a soon to be graduate needing to catch a recruiter's eye to to land that dream job. So you need cutting edge smart tools to build your portfolio from scratch. That's the power of Lenovo with Intel inside. Plus college students and teachers get 5% off with an education account on Lenovo.com a better future is waiting and it needs you.

[Lyle]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for three.

[Cat]

Month plan equivalent to $15 per month.

[Lyle]

Required intro rate first three months only.

[Cat]

Then full price plan options available, taxes and fees, extra fee, full [e-mail] not.

[Unknown]

Everyone who handles your personal information is going to be as careful as you are, and it only takes one mistake to expose it to hackers and identity theft. Maybe that's why there's a new victim of identity theft every five seconds in the United States. Fortunately, there's Lifelock. Lifelock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity if your identity is stolen, a LifeLock US based restoration specialist will help solve identity theft issues on your behalf, guaranteed or your money back. Plus, all LifeLock plans are backed by the million dollar protection package, meaning LifeLock will reimburse you up to the limits of your plan. If you lose money due to identity theft. You can't control how diligent others are with your personal information, but with Lifelock you can help protect it. Act now and save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code iheart or go to lifelock.com iheart for 40% off terms apply.

[Lyle]

Hello?

[Scott]

Hello?

[Lyle]

Hey, what's your name?

[Scott]

My name is Scott.

[Lyle]

Scott, what up?

[Scott]

Yeah, I like I started a weed journal and chat GPT last night and like it's really weird because I feel like I've been more honest with it than like most of my therapists I've.

[Lyle]

Ever Had you started a weed journal in chatgpt?

[Scott]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Okay, I'm going to make some. I'm going to make some guesses as to what a weed journal is. Um, first guess, a journal that you do while you are high on weed, essentially. Okay, is that. Wait, essentially or what's a weed journal?

[Scott]

Well, I mean, I have. I have it do a bunch of shit already, so I'm like, keep track of what I have. Keep track of what I've smoked in the past and like, what I've said about it and then kind of like asking me questions about, like, why I'm smoking and how I'm feeling and stuff. Because, you know, I know a lot of people in the show say they feel like they smoke too much weed, and I'm kind of trying to figure out if I smoke too much or if it's actually helping.

[Lyle]

Okay, so you. So you tell it that like, you're like, okay, I smoked this strain and this is how I'm feeling. And it's like, okay, got it. Memory updated?

[Scott]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Lyle]

Okay. And then you journal with it.

[Scott]

Yeah. You know, it's giving me like, prompts, checking in at like 15 minutes after I smoke and then like an hour after I smoke.

[Lyle]

All right, how's it been going?

[Scott]

It's kind of like getting me to kind of like experience it more because I kind of always felt like I don't really get like the stereotypical, like, high, you know, like the giggles, the munchies, you know, couch lock, like that. But I still have, you know, been smoking and, you know, kind of just as to make it through the day and stuff. So I think kind of paying attention to it more is making me feel the effects more. And it's also like, I don't know, just exposing some of my insecurities the way I'm like, reflecting on some of the aspects of my life I'm trying to, you know, ignore when I smoke or, you know, like I said, smoking too much, stuff like that.

[Lyle]

Are you saying that AI is exposing your insecurities or weed is exposing your insecurities?

[Scott]

The way I'm conversing with AI is because I guess I don't have the social pressure of it being an actual person. So I'm kind of like. It's more like thinking to myself or like, you know, something like that kind of.

[Lyle]

Yes. Interesting. Well, yeah, I mean, that's what. By the way, you know, look, I. I've gone back and forth, you know, in my real life, like with my friends debating about AI and You know, reading about, you know, environmental things and whatnot. But, but like, but I get like. But I mean, look, I, you, I use, I use it every day. I use it every day to like do this. And it does like, help you think. My friend refers to it as journaling squared. And I can't exactly explain what he, what that means, but then when he said it, I'm like, that makes perfect sense. It's like thinking to myself but having something like reflect back at me. It's not good. Don't use it. I don't think it's good to use as a friend or a Roman partner. I think that's where people can get tripped up because you don't want to do that. But, you know, it's not, it's not, it's a good partner for, you know, help, helping you think. Not necessarily. I, this is just my experience. I don't want to. I know this stuff is like controversial, but it's like, yeah, for me it doesn't like, think for me, I'm not like, I don't fart into it and then it farts back something and I'm like, great. I don't have to think anymore. I use it as a tool to help me, me think and reflect and introspect and whatnot. And I assume that's what you're doing with this weed journal.

[Scott]

Yeah, that Journaling squared makes a lot of sense to me. Like, I feel like journaling is like too open ended. Like I don't know what the hell to write about. So like having telling it to ask me questions and then kind of summarize that information back to me at some point, you know, to say trends or, you know, whatever. Like, so it's kind of like it's doing the analysis of me doing my own analysis of myself kind of.

[Lyle]

You know, I'm gonna. I know. Fuck. I know this is controversial and maybe I'm an idiot for saying this publicly because I might eat my words many years from now, but this is just my thought process of it because my friends say that I had a friend who said that we are the last generation that will have critical thinking skills because of AI. And I think, I think that's a bold statement to make and he may be right. And maybe there are people who are more researched on this than I am, but I don't know. For me, I think it's not replace ionic. I mean, you could look at it as like a thing that is again, like helping you think because you're thinking with it. It's not like it's not telling you. I mean, if you look, if you're like, if you use it to write poems for, for yourself, and then you post the poems on Instagram and you're like, look at these poems. I think that's stupid, like, doing like that, and people do like that, and people use it to, like, do create. I like, like using it to, like, do creative work, I think is lame, kind of antithetical. I think that's antithetical. Yeah, I think, I think using it to, like, create artificial art is dumb. And I don't, I actually, I don't know if it will ever even get to the point where it creates good artificial art. And if, and if it is creating good artificial art, it's doing it with the guidance of a human who is refining it and prompting it in ways that are artful, I suppose, but in the way that it sounds like you and I use it to, like, kind of as a sounding board for reflection. Yeah, I think is, yeah, is, Is, you know, is useful.

[Scott]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

I mean, I don't know. It might. Yeah. Sorry, Go ahead, Go ahead.

[Scott]

Oh, just. I used to listen to this podcast called Pessimist Archive. I think it changed the name and the format, and that's why I fell off. But, like, it kind of started off as, like, you know, saying, like, well, I think the first episode was trying to find out, like, when was America great? Like that we're trying to make it great again. And it's like, you know, it went back to World War II or whatever. And then they were saying times were great then. And then, you know, whatever I want. I think it went, like, all the way back to, like, medieval times, and they were like, you know, essentially the conclusion is like, everyone always thinks that times were better in the past. And also, like, I think, you know, kind of the reaction to books is similar. Original reaction to books was kind of similar to, like, the initial reaction to computers and stuff like that. So it's a weird kind of like, loop, generational loop where kind of everyone thinks what's wrong is better.

[Lyle]

I'm willing, you know, I'm willing to be checked on this. Let the, Let the, Let the record show. I'm willing to be checked on this. But I, I just, while, while you and I are talking about it, I, I, I really, what you just said resonates with me super hard. I really think every, I think every generation thinks that the previous generation are, is stupid. Isn't that what keeps, Isn't that what keeps happening? Like, like, like all those, like, articles being like, well, millennials don't want to work anymore. Millennials spend all their money on, like, avocado toast. It's like the boomers thought the millennials were stupid. And then the millennials think the Gen Z and then we think that, like, does it, doesn't that just keep happening? Isn't that like a cycle of, like, yeah, everyone, every generation thinks the previous generation is fucked and stupid. There's certain. And like, look, I mean, there's certain things that are, like, I think, like, undeniably true. These aren't. But these aren't black and white things. You can't just. Or maybe they are. I don't know. I mean, I say all this stuff and then someone sends me a link being like, hey, there's empirical data to show that suicide rates are up and depression is up and anxiety is up, so we have actual data to show that times were better before. And I'm like, ah, shit, maybe.

[Scott]

I mean, it's all relative.

[Lyle]

I guess it's all relative. I don't know. You could probably have some fucking chart. Yeah, actually, now I think about it, yeah, they're probably a lot of. There's probably a lot of like, again, empirical data that can be like, no, no, no, these aren't feelings. We can actually prove logistically that the quality of people's lives were better in this period of time. And, and, and then I look at stuff like that and it makes me, it makes me less optimistic. But I don't know, sometimes then it's.

[Scott]

Also like, well, what about, you know, if you think about, you know, America in the 50s or whatever, like, it might have been better for white people, but not black people, you know, so it's like it goes back to it being like, relative. It's like there's never going to be. Well, I mean, I feel like the idea of peace has like, gone out the window since like 9 11. So, you know, it feels like there's never going to be like a, you know, utopian world where everyone, you know, even though that's kind of the goal, and hopefully one generation, you know, even if they say some stuff is shitty, you know, like, then the next generation will still have other stuff that they push forward, even if they bring some stuff back. So it's like, hopefully, you know, the average is progress forward in the end, but it doesn't really feel like it always.

[Lyle]

These are big questions. Yeah, these are big questions to think about. Maybe I should get some, like, experts on the podcast. I feel Like, I'm always just, like, spinning my own wheels on a lot of this shit. I'd love to, like, because I, you know, the more I research and the more I, like, look shit up, I'm like, okay. Because I'm always like, all right. There seems to be smart people who come up with, like, two smart, well researched people can come up with different visions for the future, you know? I mean, I don't know. People are saying, like, I don't know, man. Like, people are saying, like, the dollar is going to collapse and the end of the world is here. And then there's people being like, you know, on the thing of, like, well, yeah, yeah, everyone. Every generation says that the previous generation was. And then you can be like, yeah, but this time it actually is different because X, Y and Z.

[Scott]

But every generation also thinks the world is going to end. Remember back in 2012, right?

[Lyle]

Yeah. Yeah, bro. I remember when the fucking trailer for that movie came out. I was terrified. I really thought the world was going to end in 2012.

[Scott]

I remember being, like, on the beach that day and just, like, kind of looking out at the horizon and being like, it was just a weird vibe for sure.

[Lyle]

Yeah, Yeah. I don't know. I want to have this. I want to have this conversation because I'm trying to check. Because I'm like, fight. I'm always fighting with myself of, like, I. I want to believe that. Like, I want to believe that, like, the world is how you see it and that perspective is everything and that that applies on, like, a individual level as well as a societal level. But I'm also. There's also people who could be like, hey, you're actually a big, dumb fucking hippie and all this shit is happening, and we don't need your hippie fucking nonsense right now. We need X, Y, and Z. So, yeah, I'm like. I know I'm wrestling with that.

[Scott]

But then, like, your own perspective can lie to you, too, you know, like when you're, like, depressed and it's like, you know, then. I mean, in that moment, I guess that is your world. But, you know, kind of overall, it's not necessarily.

[Lyle]

Yes, yeah, Depression can lie to you. It can tell you that. Oh, it can tell you a lot of your thoughts. Your brain can lie to you. And so. And you can. I see. I don't see why optimism can be. I mean, yeah, yeah, optimism can be checked and dissected and pulled apart, but so, I mean, on the fucking same coin, so can pessimism. So, I don't know.

[Scott]

Everything's gonna be fine.

[Lyle]

Everything's gonna be fine, right? Probably. Maybe. Who knows what's going on in your life? I don't know anything about you, and we've been talking for 15 minutes. I only know that you smoke weed and talk to chat. Gbt.

[Scott]

I had no amount of time. I got married like a little less than a year ago to the person I've been with since we were 16. So it'll be like we've been together half of our lives this summer.

[Lyle]

L' Chaim. Very good. How old are you now?

[Scott]

I'm 32.

[Lyle]

32. And you're married to the lady you met when you were 16?

[Scott]

Yep.

[Lyle]

Okay. Yeah. I'm curious about your life because you are like your romantic life is the polar opposite of the previous callers romantic life. And so I'm curious on you. You have like the exact opposite romantic life stories. So I'm curious. And we got to hear her, you know, struggles and her benefits to that. And so now I'm curious. You took the opposite route of like, I am going to commit to this person that I met when I was 16. And I've now it's been 16 years of commitment. It's interesting. So what's going on? What's going on with you? Tell me about that lifestyle.

[Scott]

I mean, it's kind of one of those things where like, I see why that sounds kind of crazy to people, but like, it just feels natural to me personally. We actually met on like a Reptar fan page on Facebook. I like made a comment reference referencing a song by this band that references Rectar. And she like, noticed it, knew the band as well and then saw that, you know, we're from generally the same area. So she added me as a friend and literally my first words to her were, do I know you? But then from there it turned into like a couple hours long conversation. A couple of weeks later, we were at the same concert and like saw each other but didn't actually interact. And then, you know, we lived like an hour away from each other. So we were, you know, in high school having our parents drive us back and forth on weekends to, like, see each other. Once we finally started dating months later. And yeah, I mean, there we had like a really big fight. A couple, you know, like a year or two into our relationship that, you know, kind of led to some really hard times. And I probably still kind of feel the effects of it as well. And then there was a point, you know, a couple of a few years ago where she was kind of Going through some mental health issues and, you know, sort of wanted to take a break, which, you know, I gave her like, her space, but she wanted to, you know, potentially go on a date or kiss someone else and stuff. And that was kind of like where I drew the line. And I don't think she necessarily wanted to do that. I think it was kind of, you know, not like a midlife crisis, but kind of something like that and more related to, you know, mental what she was going through mentally. But yeah, so I don't know. I mean, we've lived together, we have three cats and a dog, we own a house together. It's. I mean, yeah, like you said, it kind of goes through all the, A lot of the stereotypical kind of like, beats. But like I said, it feels, it just feels natural.

[Lyle]

Isn't that the. I love this episode. This is one of my favorite episodes of the podcast lately. Because isn't that, isn't that so cool that two completely different lifestyles can both feel deeply natural to respective individuals? It's interesting.

[Scott]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

I don't know if you were here when I was talking to the previous person.

[Scott]

Yeah, I was.

[Lyle]

That's cool to me. Okay. What the fuck was I going to say? What do you do for a living?

[Scott]

Work for. I place orders for a company that makes musical accessories and also distributes like pro audio stuff who are like owned by a big parent company that like trades on the British stock exchange or whatever. So when I started at the job, it was a family owned company and had been for like four years and then they sold like a year after, less than a year after I was there. And so it's been a lot of dealing with the corporate, like, you know, every time we have a town hall meeting, we have to hear about the investors and how they're doing versus, you know, oh yeah, we're so good working on our total package rewards, even though we're not going to give you a raise, you know, like that. So that's frustrating. And I actually tried to start a union at one point, but only one other person was actually had the balls to try to join me.

[Lyle]

Sorry. I know I moved on from this topic, but I actually remembered what I was going to say is that I think I read. I don't know if this was a tweet or if this was like something I saw on Instagram, but like someone said something of like, I think breaking up is like, not for every, not for everybody. Of course this doesn't work this way for everybody, but like, for like Long term couples, like, breaking up is like part of the relationship in a way. Like having a little. Like, I, I know lots of couples in successful relationships that like broke up or like went through really hard times. And you, I think you start to realize that, like going through. Not always, because we do live in a chaotic, random world and sometimes a breakup truly is a breakup. But it does seem that like, you know, going through like a tough time or a disagreement is like a not, not disagreement, but you know what I mean? Like, it is a fundamental part of like the relationship process, you know, because. Yeah, that's, that's, it's, it's because. Yeah, kind of like we were talking about the previous caller is like, you know, if you're committing to somebody and you had. There's like, there's just gonna kind of be like natural points of friction unless if you get really lucky and really aligned with a lot, which a lot of people do. But yeah, if you're committing to somebody, there's just naturally going to be friction, I think.

[Scott]

For sure. Yeah, I think it's one of those things where like, I mean, it's kind of cliche, but like, it can make or break you, you know, like, it shows how, how much you're committed, you know, chose whether or not you feel, you know, like life would be the same without that person or better or worse, you know, kind of. I think it's, you know, also sort of a life directing thing where it's like you kind of have to. Because something's changing so drastically in moments like that. You know, if it gets to, you know, something like that big, then it can be like, you know, kind of like a wake up call type thing. Type. Put time to reassess, you know, and just kind of figure out your priorities, I guess.

[Lyle]

What is your name again?

[Scott]

Scott.

[Lyle]

Scott. Scott. The weed journal guy.

[Scott]

I'll forever be known as that.

[Lyle]

I'm trying to think if I have any other questions to ask you, Scott. Let's see. How long have we been talking? We've been talking for about 23 minutes. Okay, so you. What? Okay, what? All right, let me ask you this. The weed journal, the, the, the reflections. You know, I think we, we talked a lot about like, I think, I think I, I went on too big of a rant about AI in general that I actually forgot to ask you on a personal level, what, if any, conclusions you have come to as a result of this weed journaling?

[Scott]

I mean, I pretty much just started it like yesterday, so so far it's kind of Been just, like, reflecting on why I wanted to start it, which, like I said, I think it's kind of tied to both how I feel, the effects and just, like, insecurity about the fact that. That I do smoke as much as I do. I really think that, like, the 90s propaganda against smoking, like, fucked with my head, you know, Like, I. I cannot imagine smoking a cigarette and, like, I feel like guilty smoking weed sometimes. So that's kind of a weird place to be into.

[Lyle]

Yeah, I do too. I. I came to this. I'm my. I'm still on my weed journey. I'm not going to pretend like, I'm like, well, I was thinking about this. Like, I'm on. I'm on a big, like, medication journey, like, trying to find like. Like, like working with, like, psychiatrists and shit, trying to find, like, medication that works for me. And I went on this thing of. I was. I had this thing of, like. I came to a pretty hilarious realization for myself where I was like, well, I don't want to have to be on a drug every day. You know, that was, I think, one of my big anti, like, SSRI talking points. And then I was like, wait a minute. I fucking smoke weed every single night. I'm already on a drug every day. You know. And once I came to that point, I was like, oh, yeah, duh. So, yeah, I don't know.

[Scott]

Yeah, it's also kind of ironic to me that, like, I was. I was straight edge until I was like, 23. Like, I didn't even have a drink of alcohol or anything. And I was kind of like part of my identity. Not, you know, not to the point where I was like, only going to see you straight edge bands at DIY shows and like that. But, you know, I labeled myself as straight edge and, like, would tell people that if they, you know, offered me a drink or whatever. And so, yeah, I don't know, it was kind of a weird shift transitioning from that to, you know, having a drink or two here or there, having a smoke here and there. Now I, you know, smoke a couple times, three times each day. So, yeah, that's. I guess that's happened over the last, like, eight or nine years. And I even. I stopped weed for maybe like a year and a half. I had some where, like, I was passing out and my heart stopped. Not necessarily related to the weed, but the first time it happened was like, when I was smoking and eating too much. So, yeah, it's just. Yeah, it's been an interesting and continues to be an Interesting. Like Trip kind of figuring out what works and what doesn't. And I'm kind of on the same with like, the medication as well. Like, I was on Lexapro for a while and it was really working, but then it was giving me, like, bad side effects so I weaned off it and it's like, it really was like the lowest I've probably ever been. And now I'm about to start Prozac and see how that goes. So it's kind of. It's. Yeah.

[Lyle]

Scott.

[Scott]

What.

[Lyle]

Let me think. Is there any. Is there anything else you want to cover or you think we did it?

[Scott]

I think we did it.

[Lyle]

All right, cool. It was good talking to you, Scott. I hope, I hope that you continue to live a nice life.

[Scott]

You as well as a gecko in the computer.

[Lyle]

Have a good one. Scott. That was so perfect. What a perfect episode to have. I loved the. I loved that contrast. That was. That was juicy to me because, like, I don't know, I went on the whole, like polyamory, verse, monogamous commitment rant and then both callers embodied lifestyles that were opposite yet. Yet were very natural to them. That's so. It was so fascinating to me and so interesting that they both happen to call in right after each other. So that was. I liked that. Do I have any other post call thoughts about Scott? I liked his voice and he was a nice guy. And that's it. Hey, folks. This episode is sponsored by ChatGPT Plus. ChatGPT plus is free for college students now through May. That means you have no limits on how many ways you can prompt ChatGPT to help you through the worst part of the school year. There's many ways you can do this, like uploading your class notes and having ChatGPT quiz you on them. Or asking ChatGPT to take a complicated concept and try to explain it to you in simpler terms to help you understand. You can even use it to help design a diet and exercise plan that optimizes your energy for studying. You can use the voice feature to practice interviewing for jobs post graduation. You can use it to practice a new language for a summer trip abroad. It can help you organize your hectic schedule so you can block out time to study certain subjects and make sure you're getting things done. There are endless ways that ChatGPT plus can help you on your academic journey. ChatGPT plus free for college students through May. Restrictions apply.

[Gemma Spaeg]

This is Gemma Spaeg from the Psychology of your twenties. Are you shopping for a new laptop while trying to keep up with all the new technology and AI. Talk about feeling burnt out. But no more. Lenovo.com makes it easier than ever to find the perfect PC. In fact, they'll break it down for you. Step 1 Shop their lineup of AI PCs powered by Intel Core Ultra processors. Because why deal with downloading new software when you can just buy a smarter PC that already comes with all of the AI features and tools? Step 2 Find the one that fits your passion. Whether you're a creative genius, a research scientist, a hardcore gamer, or a future CEO, no dream is too big. That is the power of Lenovo. With intel inside, you can keep up with your ideas as well as any challenges you may face. Step 3 add to cart and purchase. Oh, and if you're a college student or a teacher, make an education account through Lenovo and get 5% off your whole order. Shop [e-mail] A Better Future is waiting and it needs you.

[Unknown]

Not everyone who handles your personal information is going to be as careful as you are, and it only takes one mistake to expose it to hackers and identity theft. Maybe that's why there's a new victim of identity theft every five seconds in the United States. Fortunately, there's LifeLock. LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity. If your identity is stolen, a LifeLock US based restoration specialist will help solve identity theft issues on your behalf, guaranteed or your money back. Plus, all LifeLock plans are backed by the million dollar protection package, meaning LifeLock will reimburse you up to the limits of your plan. If you lose money due to identity theft, you can't control how diligent others are with your personal information, but with Lifelock you can help protect it. Act now and save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code IHEARTRA or go to lifelog.com iheart for 40% off. Terms apply.

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway now through June 17th. Shop in store or online for your favorite personal care Items and save $5 when you spend $15 or more. Stock up on items like Dove Body Wash, Degree Motion Sense Deodorant, Tresemme, Hairspray, Dove Shampoo, Dove Bar Soap, Dove Men's Body and face Wash and Dollar Shave Club blades, and save $5 when you spend $15 or more. Hurry in before these deals are gone. Offer ends June 17th. Prom restrictions apply. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[Lyle]

Hello hello. Hi. What's your name?

[Lars]

My name is Lars.

[Lyle]

Lars. Lars. I'm gonna warn you about something.

[Cat]

Okay.

[Lyle]

I think over the past hour and 20 minutes, I don't know how long the last two calls took. I have. I think I have hit my limit on deep, existential, philosophical conversations.

[Lars]

Okay.

[Lyle]

Oh, you sounded so disappointed. I could tell in your voice that you sounded really.

[Lars]

No, no, no. Absolutely not. No, that sounds great.

[Lyle]

I also feel like I'll just. Well, did you have something you wanted to talk about?

[Lars]

Maybe like a couple things, but nothing was.

[Lyle]

Go ahead, go ahead. It.

[Lars]

Okay. I heard you were talking about relationships earlier. I don't know if you still want to do that. I got out of an eight year relationship recently.

[Lyle]

Okay. And how you doing?

[Lars]

Doing all right. I actually just got into a new relationship with a trans woman.

[Lyle]

Okay. Where'd you meet him?

[Lars]

Bumble.

[Lyle]

Bumble.

[Lars]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

And how's it going?

[Lars]

It's going great. I mean, she's fantastic. Yeah, no complaints.

[Lyle]

Okay. Okay. What. When did you break up with your previous person?

[Lars]

Oh, a couple months ago probably. And I moved where I was living in March and we broke up a couple months before that, so probably in December or something.

[Lyle]

Very nice, very nice. Okay, wait, you said you. You said. You said a couple of things. What would the other thing be?

[Lars]

Oh, I called. I emailed you actually, earlier and. And you read my email on the stream.

[Lyle]

Which email? Who. Which email were you.

[Lars]

The douche canoe story.

[Lyle]

Douche canoe?

[Lars]

Yeah, we put a bunch of douches on this guy's door for years. We like pranked him and he was like. He didn't know who it was for like years. And then he found out it was his girlfriend who is actually now his fiance.

[Lyle]

That's kind of. That's good. Like, I'm trying to remember that. What do people. Do people still use douches?

[Lars]

I honestly don't know.

[Lyle]

Have I. I don't know if I've ever seen a douche in my.

[Lars]

They're like this plastic thing that's like. I don't know, it's got like a tube.

[Lyle]

Maybe this is a.

[Lars]

You get them at the dollar store.

[Scott]

Yeah, maybe.

[Lyle]

This is a personal question, but have you ever used one?

[Lars]

No, not personally, no.

[Lyle]

Okay, so they're not like part of everyday hygiene?

[Lars]

No, I think they're on for special occasions.

[Lyle]

Okay, what does it actually do?

[Lars]

It like cleans everything out, you know, make sure that you're nice and clean.

[Lyle]

Interesting. Do. Do most women use douches?

[Lars]

I think both. I think everybody use. Uses douches on occasion.

[Lyle]

Oh, like you could, like. You can put them in your ass.

[Cat]

Yeah, yeah, okay.

[Lyle]

Yes, that makes sense.

[Lars]

My girlfriend's here right now, actually, and she's laughing.

[Lyle]

Where do you. Where do you. Yeah, I feel like I've never seen one. I've never, like, dated anyone who used one or anything like that. I've never. I mean, I've used a bidet. I've. I've watched.

[Cat]

Oh, yeah.

[Lyle]

Bidet Rock.

[Lars]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

With a bidet. What's the difference between a bidet and a douche?

[Lars]

Days are in a toilet, I guess. I don't know. I think douches get more up in there.

[Lyle]

The bidets are sick. I gotta get a bidet. We need a bidet. For a while, I had. I used to have a sponsor of the podcast. It was like, tushy bidet. I think I gotta get a bidet sponsor. Do you have a. Do you have a suggest? Who should I. Who should I reach out to?

[Lars]

Oh, I don't know any brands.

[Lyle]

Off the top of my head was Tushy. Well, okay, I'll. I'll. I'll. Okay, I'm glad we had this conversation. I'm gonna try to find a bidet sponsor so they can send me one.

[Lars]

Nice.

[Lyle]

Okay. What else? What else? How's the weather where you are?

[Lars]

It's pretty overcast. Yeah. Here in Washington.

[Lyle]

Ah, Washington's Washington. Does Washington get cold?

[Lars]

Oh, yeah, it gets pretty chilly in the wintertime. But right now it's a mild, humid, kind of rainy day.

[Lyle]

Dude, I think I've been to Seattle five times.

[Lars]

Five times I've seen you. One of those times.

[Lyle]

I went. I went once in 2021 to do one of my very first live shows. That was like a DIY live show. And then I went in 2022 for a tour, and then I went in 2023 for a tour, and then I Went in 2024 for a tour, and then I going again in 2024 to do my reptile rave. So, yeah, I've been to Seattle five times.

[Lars]

That's awesome.

[Lyle]

That's crazy.

[Lars]

How was your reptile rave?

[Lyle]

It was fun. It was fun. We did one in Seattle and then we did one in New York. It was fun. Although, you know what's funny is I do remember when I did my New York reptile rave. I was, like, standing up on the stage while we were. They were. The DJ was playing and I was from. I had a moment where I was looking out and I was there, and I was like, wait, why did I do this? I don't Like, I don't necessarily like raves. I just wanted to. I just like doing things. That's the main reason I like doing things in person, you know?

[Lars]

Yeah, I have.

[Lyle]

I. Today, I really enjoyed doing the Phone Call podcast. I really enjoyed. I'm enjoying talking to you. I enjoyed talking to the previous caller and the caller before that. But I may. I feel as though I mainly thrive, you know, in. In the. In the universe. And I think that the rave was an excuse to be more in the universe. You know, just have a party, be around people, you know, maybe I'll do more like that. I don't know. I like. I like stuff. I like people. I like experiences. What do you like? What do you like?

[Lars]

Oh, I like to be home alone and do art.

[Lyle]

Respect.

[Lars]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Specs. Do you and your girlfriend do art together?

[Lars]

We do. Yeah, digital art, and I do more like physical art. So then we put, like, our art together. She, like, does something digitally, and then I'll put, like, textures on it.

[Lyle]

Do you. Do you act like you're better than her because you do physical art and she does digital art?

[Lars]

No, we respect each other's art equally. Okay.

[Lyle]

Okay, That's. It would be fair if you did. I was talking to my friend about this yesterday. Like, I think it may. Philosophically, it makes absolute sense why, if you're vegan, why you would think if you're vegan and you think you're better than everyone else. First of all, you're right. And second of all, you're. You're entitled to that opinion because it's so clearly. I don't know why I'm bringing this up, but this is just the concept of thinking you're better than. It's so clearly unethical to eat animals when we don't have to. Yeah. And so if you do that, you're just. You're. I think you're literally better than everyone else. Yeah, I don't do that. I eat. I. I've. I've killed thousands. And not personally, but I've contributed to the murder of thousands and thousands of chickens and cows and pigs throughout my life. And I will. And I will continue to do that for. I will just continue to do that for the rest of my life. I will never even attempt to go vegan or vegetarian. And if I ever meet a vegan or vegetarian, and they say to me, what you are doing by eating meat is wrong and I am better than you, I will. I will. I will agree with them. I think. Yeah, I think it's true.

[Lars]

Yeah, I think that's pretty fair.

[Lyle]

You know, I don't know. I don't want. I guess. Are you, Are you better? I think you might be. I think not. I'm trying to. I think if you don't use a computer, you're probably better than everyone else. Like, if I, If I, if I were completely off of social media, I would absolutely be. All the time I would be thinking I'm better than everyone else. There's a. I've. Cuz like I've had times where, like, by, by times, I mean time. I mean, I did this once. No, I know. I do this fairly often. I do this fairly often where like if I'm on, if I'm on this, like, I'll have like a 42 minute subway ride and I'll be like, you know what? I'm gonna turn my phone completely off.

[Scott]

Oh, wow.

[Lyle]

Put it in my backpack and just observe and just not be on my phone and just like, kind of be in like a. I'm gonna use this as like meditation time to just not be doing anything. And the whole time I'm look, you're looking at everyone else and you look up and everyone else is on their phone. And it's great because you just, you just get to soak in being better than everyone else.

[Lars]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

For that, in that, in that moment, I'm the most enlightened, an awesome person on the train and it just, it feels great. Yeah. But I can't. I don't think I can do that my whole life. If I could, I would be insufferable all the time. If I could be. If I could live the kind of life. I think, I think if you have the like, willpower and conviction to live the kind of life where you're abstaining from any and all things that could be remotely considered unethical and you're not. And you don't eat sugar and you don't go on the Internet and you just live like a completely holistic life. I think you, I think. Yeah, you, you deserve, you've earned being the ability to be pretentious about it, I think.

[Cat]

Mm.

[Lars]

Yeah, definitely. I mean, yeah, if you can do all that, I guess.

[Lyle]

Dude, if you can do all that and then you walk around thinking you're better than everyone else. You. I think you deserve it.

[Lars]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

I think that's the prize that you get for. For being able. I. And I. And frankly, I'd rather have. Wait, hold on. I'm gonna blow your mind right now. Okay. I'm gonna Blow your mind. Frankly, I would rather just, you know, eat the meat and, like, use the Internet and do the things. Because I'm abstaining. Because. Because that would. By doing those things, I'm abstaining from thinking I'm better than everyone else. And you. And you know what that makes me do? It makes me think I'm better than everyone else.

[Lars]

Yeah.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

It'S a loop. My. My abstinence from thinking I'm better than everyone else subconsciously makes me think I'm better than everyone else, which is. Is really awesome when you think about it.

[Lars]

That's great.

[Lyle]

Anyway, what's your name again?

[Lars]

Mars.

[Lyle]

Mars, is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?

[Lars]

I hope you all are having a great day and Geck nation.

[Lyle]

Beautiful. Thank you, Mars.

[Lars]

Thank you.

[Cat]

Bye.

[Lyle]

Well, there we go. We did it. We did a podcast. What a great episode. I want to thank Vyvanse for helping me make this episode. I want to thank the. I want to thank the. The. I want to thank Diarrhea for not having me have it right now. I want to thank. What am I gonna eat after this? Oh, yeah, I'm gonna eat some sushi. I have a little bit of sushi in my fridge. Okay, thank you all for listening to this podcast. This was a good. This was a good episode. I was talking at the beginning about how sometimes I sit down to record and I just can't do it. And when that happens, I usually go, oh, I can't do this anymore. I can't do this podcast. Like, I. This is my body and my brain telling me I cannot do this anymore. And then the next day I'm like, all right, let me try again. But I'll do it in the morning right after having some coffee or some shit. And then I'm in the zone and I'm like, alright, I think we can do this shit. So, I don't know, but. And then tomorrow I'll probably be like, everything sucks forever. I think that's life. Life is like, when think when things are working well or your brain is in a positive mode, you're like, oh, everything's gonna be great forever now. And then when they're in a negative mode, you're like, alright, this is it. This is how my brain will function and how my life will be for eternity. But really, you're just going in and out of all that shit. I don't know for me, personally, that's how my life has gone so far. I'd like to Have a nicer baseline. Anyway, okay. Thanks for listening to this podcast, thanks for listening to the ads, thanks for calling, thanks for being here. And we'll do another one. This one comes out on a Wednesday, we'll do another one on Sunday. I might do an IRL on Sunday. I don't know yet. Depends on how I'm feeling. Alright, Geck bless. Hello folks, it's Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But get this, I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right, an entire extra hour of the podcast that you can listen to by becoming a premium member of Therapy gecko over at therapygecko.supercast.com Supercast subscribers get access to bonus episodes. They get a completely ad free podcast feed of the regular show. They get recordings from my live shows members only streams and they help support my ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's a clip from this week's members only bonus episode.

[Cat]

Um, I kind of just wanted to get your take on what I do, which is very similar, I think, to what you do, which is put a silly rat costume on, a little animal costume, put myself out on the Internet and kind of use that Persona to explore my mental health journey.

[Lyle]

Interesting. Okay, so let's. I want to. I want to get a full scope of this. Here you dress up as a rat on the Internet.

[Cat]

Mm.

[Lyle]

If you want to hear this full conversation, you can sign up to become a premium [e-mail] or find the link in the episode description. That's therapygecko.supercast.com Alright, I have nothing else to say. Hey folks. This episode is sponsored by Chat GPT Plus. ChatGPT plus is free for college students now through May. That means you have no limits on how many ways you can prompt ChatGPT to help you through the worst part of the school year. There's many ways you can do this, like uploading your class notes and having ChatGPT quiz you on them. Or asking ChatGPT to take a complicated concept and try to explain it to you in simpler terms to help you understand. ChatGPT plus free for college students through May. Restrictions apply.

[Gemma Spaeg]

This is Jemma Spake from the psychology of your twenties. Want to feel more creative but don't have the right laptop? Lenovo.com can help. Look through their legendary lineup of AI powered PCs and devices and find the one that fits your passion. Their PCs are also powered by Intel Core Ultra processors as well as cutting edge AI tools which allow students to focus, learn and create with ease. That's the power of lenovo. With intel inside Plus, college students and teachers can get 5% off their order. Shop [e-mail] the future is waiting and it needs you.

[Unknown]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway this spring. Stock up on all your personal care favorites and earn 4 times points. Now through June 17th. Shop in store online for deals on all your favorite personal care items like Pantene Shampoo, Native Body Spray Deodorant, Secret Body Spray, Venus Razors, Always Pads, Head and Shoulder Shampoo and Native deodorant and earn 4 times points. Then use those points for discounts on groceries or fuel. You don't want to miss these deals. Offer ends June 17th. Promotions may vary. Restrictions apply. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

Not everyone who handles your personal information is going to be as careful as you are, and it only takes one mistake to expose it to hackers and identity theft. Maybe that's why there's a new victim of identity theft every five seconds in the United States. Fortunately, there's LifeLock. LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity. If your identity is stolen, a LifeLock US based restoration specialist will help solve identity theft issues on your behalf, guaranteed or your money back. Plus, all LifeLock plans are backed by the million dollar protection package, meaning Lifelock will reimburse you up to the limits of your plan if you lose money due to identity theft. You can't control how diligent others are with your personal information, but with Lifelock, you can help protect it. Act now and save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code iheart or go to lifelock.com iheart for 40% off. Terms apply.

[Lyle]

You're listening to an iheart podcast.