“MY WIFE RAN AWAY”

Summary

Therapy Gecko - “MY WIFE RAN AWAY”

Podcast: iHeartPodcasts | Host: Lyle the Gecko
Date: April 19, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode of Therapy Gecko, Lyle the unlicensed lizard psychologist takes calls from listeners navigating chaotic, messy, and sometimes comedic aspects of adult life. The central theme revolves around relationships—romantic, platonic, and self—and how we often find ourselves responsible for other people’s choices or left to clean up the emotional mess. The main stories come from callers “D,” whose wife left him with a complicated wake, and “Danny,” who feels cursed in her adult friendships. Both calls, wrapped with Lyle’s humor and surprisingly compassionate advice, ask: How much of other people's drama is really ours to own?

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Caller D: The Fallout of a Toxic Relationship

[03:07–29:36]

Situation Recap

• D, age 37, finds himself abandoned by his wife, alone in an unaffordable apartment, and separated from his child.
• His lifelong best friend, who warned him about his wife, was pushed away after trying desperately to break D out of the relationship—leaving D doubly isolated.
• D reveals that his ex stopped birth control without his knowledge and lied about it, leading to their child’s conception.
• D’s family, especially his mother, pushed for the marriage (even sending a wedding ring), compounding his sense of being “trapped.”

Relationship Red Flags & Loneliness

• D admits to tolerating years of toxic behaviors—his wife would fight with his friends, force apologies, and ultimately alienate his support network.
• “I probably have, like, a fifth grade education right now. An abortion. There you go. Yeah, she didn’t want one of those, and that caused quite a rift too.” (13:04, D)
• Lyle explores D’s susceptibility: previous inexperience with relationships, pressure to "settle down," and the comfort of finally having someone interested.

Financial and Legal Problems

• D is in a costly apartment lease he can’t escape without a big loss and is considering moving back with his mom.
• His wife took the dogs, the child, and is asking D to contribute to her new place.
• Lyle raises legal considerations—urging D to ensure custody and kidnapping protections.

Repairing Lost Friendships

• One of D’s main regrets is burning bridges with his best friend, especially after his friend’s dad died.
• “I completely wrote him off in a really bad time after his dad just died.” (15:38, D)
• Lyle is clear: “Your friend sounds like a really good dude.” (17:30, Lyle)
• D is slowly reconnecting, finding tentative openness but also understandable emotional distance from his friend.

Themes of Regret & Self-Forgiveness

• Lyle guides D in self-compassion, taking stock of his actions but also the hope to repair: “That relationship sounds like it’s both repairable and worth repairing. And you sound like you care about him...” (25:01, Lyle)
• The conversation touches on the German term “schadenfreude”—finding perspective in others’ struggles, not out of malice, but as a reminder that things could be worse. (27:05)

Actionable Gecko Wisdom

• Get a roommate to avoid financial disaster.
• Secure some legal advice to protect visitation rights.
• Allow time and gentle outreach for friendship repairs.
• “Somehow people figure out how to make it work.” (27:53, Lyle)

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Notable Quotes & Moments – Caller D

• On being tricked into fatherhood:
  “She purposely stopped taking birth control... She hoodwinked me.” (04:11, D)
• About the friend:
  “He actually left wild, crazy voicemails trying to save me from her.” (03:11, D)
• On parenthood as a silver lining:
  “I love my daughter and that's the one shining thing about this.” (10:28, D)
• On friendship and repair:
  “Your friend seems like a nice guy. I think... he’s not gonna despise an innocent two-year-old girl for no reason.” (28:45, Lyle)
• Perspective on misery:
  "There's a word for that, it's called schadenfreude. It's a German word." (27:05, Lyle)

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2. Caller Danny: The “Cursed” Friend in the Drama Triangle

[32:17–56:21]

Situation Recap

• Danny, turning 30, navigates toxic or needy female friendships—feeling "cursed" as drama continually finds her.
• She tells the story of “Jenny,” a co-worker/friend in an abusive marriage. Danny and others support her extensively but are met with jealousy and accusations of “not being a good enough friend.”
• Social media drama erupts when Danny posts about meeting with a mutual friend, to which Jenny reacts badly.
• Lyle’s take: “It’s not your fault that she’s going through some crazy ass shit...You have your own life, you know?” (39:31)

Boundary Setting & Repeated Cycles

• Danny recounts being blocked when trying to clarify the situation—Lyle validates her right to step away.
• “If you want to be the bigger person...Just so you know, whenever you send me that text, bring her in, let’s all go to the water park together...But until then, if our whole thing is you getting pissed off at me because your life sucks, I don't want any part of that.” (44:52, Lyle)

Recurring Patterns and Friendship Exhaustion

• Another “Jenny” in Danny's life also brings fresh drama: mental health crises, unstable living, rapid pregnancy with a new partner—all leading Danny to again feel responsible and overwhelmed.
• “You’re entitled to have peace if that’s what you so choose.” (49:41, Lyle)
• Lyle counsels the benefits of low-stakes, group-based friendships, recommending classes or communities over one-on-one emotionally intense friendships.

Insights on Adult Friendship

• “You need to join a community of people because what you really need are like a bunch of acquaintances. And then from those acquaintances you will naturally select whom you become closer with as opposed to being locked in these...one on one friendships.” (53:15, Lyle)
• Danny: “I just want to be friends with normal people...somehow all their shit just ends up like being a part of my life.” (52:23)

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Notable Quotes & Moments – Caller Danny

• On exhaustion:
  “I just want normal friendship.” (52:17, Danny)
• On boundary setting:
  “It’s okay, Danny, if you want to just choose peace.” (47:16, Lyle)
• On adult friendships:
  “‘Do I even want to continue this friendship?’...I feel like I’m cursed because I feel like I can never have like a genuine friendship.” (53:38, Danny)
• On lessons learned:
  “Pick people who you want to help you thrive, not stress you out.” (56:31, Danny)

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3. Caller Don Coos: Comic Relief and Casino Luck

[60:58–67:36]

Situation Recap

• Don shares a lighter comedic story about gambling at a Florida casino: he lost, then won big on a final bet after a comedy show.
• Lyle jokes about gambler’s fallacy and “the lesson” that you only lose if you quit (tongue firmly in cheek):
  “‘The lesson is that if you gamble and lose all your money, you just keep gambling...you will inevitably be rewarded for that.’” (63:57, Lyle)

A Philosophical Sidebar and Gecko Community Appreciation

• Don offers a philosophical reflection: “How often do you think the ratio changes of people having the best days and their worst days?” (61:49, Don Coos)
• He reminisces about meeting Lyle, sharing the Spanish proverb: “The shrimp that sleeps, the current takes them.”
• Ends with a call to culinary hygiene: “Wash your rice.” (67:07)

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Episode Timestamps

• [03:07] Caller D: Wife leaves, friend drama unfolds, financial/legal turmoil
• [15:01] Discussion: Repairing damaged friendship
• [21:01] Lyle's advice on custody/legal logistics
• [27:05] Lyle introduces “schadenfreude” and reflects on perspective
• [32:17] Caller Danny: Toxic friendships and boundary struggles
• [44:52] Lyle’s framework for boundary setting
• [53:15] Adult friendships & finding community
• [60:58] Caller Don Coos: Casino luck & comedy, lighthearted coda
• [67:05] Don’s homespun advice: “Wash your rice”

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Themes & Takeaways

• You are not required to fix everyone else’s life—and doing so may cost your mental health or core relationships.
• Adult friendships require boundaries, and not every crisis is yours to own—even (or especially) for those who feel ‘cursed’ by drama.
• Perspective comes from recognizing that everyone’s life is chaotic sometimes—but with time, connection, and a bit of gecko humor, things can work out.
• Join groups, build a network of acquaintances, and let real friendships develop naturally instead of getting locked into draining one-on-ones.

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For New Listeners

If you haven’t listened:
Expect a blend of raw, messy vulnerability, absurd humor, and simple but profound advice—delivered with warmth and a lizard’s world-weary perspective. Whether abandoned in South Florida, exiled from a toxic friendship, or chasing luck at the casino, Lyle’s message is clear: survive, forgive, find your people, and don’t be afraid to choose peace.

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Memorable Gecko Mantra:
“Wash your rice. Whatever that means to you. However you want to interpret that. Wash your rice.” (67:25, Lyle)

Transcript

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[Lyle]

If you live in New York City, I am hosting a little premiere of my new travel documentary about walking around Ukraine as a gecko next Tuesday, April 28th at 7:30pm the premiere is going to be followed by a Q and A with Me and my pal Roman. So who helped me make the video. He's gonna join us via Zoom from Ukraine, and it's gonna be a really fun and cool event. There's about 70 seats available. The tickets are gonna be pay what you want. It all goes to charity. And you can get more information at the link in the episode description. I am very proud of this video. I've been working very hard on it. I think it's pretty sweet. And if you live in New York, you should definitely come to the premiere. It's gonna be a lot of fun. But also, if you can't come, I'll be putting the full premium documentary on my YouTube channel, YouTube.comlyallfore, on April 29th. All right, let's get into the episode.

[Caller D]

Hey, is this the therapy gecko?

[Lyle]

Yes. Who is this?

[Caller D]

This is D. What's up? All right. Well, I got left by my wife with the 1.1 and a half year old and my best friend, lifelong best friend, was telling me to not stay with this woman and actually left wild, crazy voicemails trying to save me from her. And now I'm completely screwed. I'm in an apartment I can't afford and I'm going to not be able to see my child and things aren't going well.

[Lyle]

I'm glad you called. The therapy gecko.

[Caller D]

How are things with you?

[Lyle]

Sorry, I thought you would think that was funny. Hmm. Okay, so you said that your best friend went nuts leaving voicemails to you, trying to help you get out of this?

[Caller D]

Yeah. He knew that this girl was a demonic crazy and was going to end up ruining my life and actually left out an important part. The woman I'm seeing, well, we'll call her K. She. She purposely stopped taking birth control to. To get knocked up.

[Lyle]

Really?

[Caller D]

And. Yeah, and she ended up lying to me and saying that. That some antibiotic that I was taking ended up offsetting the. The birth control. So, yeah, she. She hoodwinked me.

[Lyle]

How old are you?

[Caller D]

37. I know you. Your callers are much younger. I just.

[Lyle]

Yeah, they're all over the place, so. They're all over the place. They're all over the place. And your name is your name one more time. D. D. Okay. When did you meet this lady? How long did you know her for?

[Caller D]

I met her right after Covet off of a dating app. Little Missouri girl, moved here to Florida and didn't have any friends and thought it would be a good idea to shack up with her, but it's been living hell. She has Two dogs that pee and in the house all the time. And that's a nice break, not having them around anymore.

[Lyle]

So are. So where are you right now? You're in a. You said you're in a house you can't afford. Who. Who's who's lives in this house?

[Caller D]

Well, it was me and Kay with the dogs and the child, and now she just packed up all her stuff and left, so not really sure how we're gonna make things work around here. Might have to go move back with mom.

[Lyle]

And so you're calling me from this house right now?

[Caller D]

Yes.

[Lyle]

And who is is. Are you alone in the house? Are the dogs there?

[Caller D]

No, I'm alone.

[Lyle]

Okay, so she took.

[Caller D]

She took the dogs and the kid.

[Lyle]

Your kid. Okay. And you have no idea when did. When did she leave?

[Caller D]

About 10 days ago.

[Lyle]

Oh, shit. And you have no idea where she is?

[Caller D]

She's somewhere in the near area trying to get me to help pay for her new apartment as well. It's quite a dilemma here. Yeah, I actually have gotten through it a little bit listening to your other callers. I think they a little bit worse time than me, so. Better about myself.

[Lyle]

Can I ask who you were listening to? I'm so can ask who you were listening to where you were like. Well, at least I'm not that. That guy.

[Caller D]

Honestly, the. The million little fibers guy was the one who really got my. My chain yanked. That was one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my life. And I'm an avid south park fan and I never knew that that was a spoof of the book, so. So thanks for the history lesson.

[Lyle]

Interesting.

[X Program Advertiser]

Hmm.

[Lyle]

Okay, so also, I forgot.

[Caller D]

Sorry, I forgot to mention that my mother was so desperate for a grandchild that she sent down her wedding ring from Central Florida to. To force me to ask her to marry her. So this girl was actively asking me for weeks to ask her to marry her. And she wasn't really the true love of my life, but I just kind of felt stuck.

[Lyle]

Hmm. What was going on with you before you met this lady that kind of left. Left you susceptible to going down that path?

[Caller D]

I don't think I've really had long relationships with women before, so I think when she showed a genuine interest, I, you know, was caught back and, you know, thought this was something that I should pursue and stay with. But like I told my best friend, she wasn't my forever love. And, you know, I didn't really, like, love her as much as I thought I would for a wife or Someone who's gonna have my kid. And you know, now I'm in such a big mess now. I don't really know how to get through it except listen to your. For your podcasts.

[Lyle]

Okay, so it was kind of a thing of like. So it was a thing of like throughout your life you didn't have many other opportunities for like a long term relationship. And then a lady comes along and you're kind of like, oh, finally, like, here's an opportunity, let's go for it type of thing.

[Caller D]

Yeah, pretty much. I thought like, you know, I'm getting older in life, I need to settle down. I need to, you know, figure it out. Have, you know, a family and life and stuff and juggling jobs. Trying to figure it all out hasn't been easy and just not in a great mental space.

[Lyle]

You met this lady. Okay, so you're 37. You met this lady when you were like 31, about six years ago.

[Caller D]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

And what was your. Okay, so what was your relationship like? Cuz this.

[Caller D]

What?

[Lyle]

Cuz this isn't like you've, you've been connected with this woman for a fairly long time. Like five years. Like, I assume it didn't like start out all fucked up and crazy. Like how, how did it, how do you think it like progressed to this point?

[Caller D]

Well, I think I kind of just tolerated it for a long period of time, you know, I mean, she was always starting fights with my friends and always making them apologize for their behavior, when in reality it was her behavior that was bad. And she's just a real toxic person. I don't know why the. I stayed around as long as I did. Probably because I was just lonely and sad. But man, I should have listened to my best friend. He was right, man. He was trying to get me to leave her and, and not do this. And you know, I love my daughter and that's the one shining thing about this. But man, I'm in a, I'm in a real, real conundrum. By the way.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Caller D]

You're not coming to Florida yet. You have something against Florida by any chance?

[Lyle]

Dude, I, I.

[X Program Advertiser]

Shit.

[Lyle]

We talked to a previous caller. I don't know where I'll put it in the episode, but I might, I might have to add, I might have to add a south Florida date. We'll see what's up. We'll see if enough people want to come. But anyway, enough, enough about my tour. Fucking tell me about the, like, tell me about the relationship. Must have had even in like a toxic relationship, right? It must have had times where it was, like, really good. Right? Like, what did that. What did that look like when it was good? I'm curious.

[Caller D]

You know, little nice love notes left at the house. You know, nice romantic dinners. You know, just things that. That made my heart, you know, glibber with joy. And I thought that, you know, this was going to be what it was forever. And really, in reality, she's just a controlling. That controlled my every move and every thought and ran lots of my friends away and just completely is train wreck my whole life the last 75 days or 50 days or whatever. It's been. It's. It's not been easy. Never thought I would be in the predicament where she'd leave me.

[Lyle]

Interesting. When did you first start noticing that, like, you felt like you're being controlled?

[Caller D]

About the time I figured out that she went to go steal her sister's baby shower with the announcement that she was pregnant herself.

[Lyle]

Whoa. And you didn't know. But you didn't. You didn't know that she was like, this baby. Was it.

[X Program Advertiser]

This.

[Lyle]

Was there a conversation about, like, yo, let's have a baby, or like, she just kind of sprung it on you? Like, what?

[Caller D]

I mean, we weren't really in the financial predicament to have a baby, and we were thinking we would have a baby down the road, but this was pretty much forced on us. And I mean, not a good predicament. I'm. I'm happy to be a dad, you know, but she wasn't. She wasn't kind to the. The talk about Petros possibly having a. Damn it. What is the word I'm thinking of right now? Wow. I probably have, like a fifth grade education right now. An abortion. There you go. Yeah, she didn't want one of those, and that caused quite a rift too, and so we just went through with it.

[Lyle]

Okay.

[Caller D]

By the way, do you ever edit. Do you ever edit out parts of your episodes that air just like.

[Lyle]

Just usually just the part where I tell the caller to take the phone.

[Caller D]

Okay, gotcha off the thing. I was just curious.

[X Program Advertiser]

Why do you.

[Lyle]

I mean, is it. I'm. I'm gonna, like. Is it okay that I make our conversation into a podcast?

[Caller D]

Yes, I would actually love that.

[X Program Advertiser]

Okay.

[Caller D]

I was just curious.

[Lyle]

Okay, cool. What the fuck was. I guess. Oh, yes, I know. I have many more things about this situation to talk to you about. Hmm. Okay. But you like being a dad. You're proud of being a dad.

[Caller D]

Yes.

[Lyle]

Okay. So proud of being a dad. And this up. You said you're in this apartment that costs too much money.

[Caller D]

Yes.

[Lyle]

Is it. Did you buy it or did you rent it?

[Caller D]

We're just renting everything. In South Florida, if you're not a millionaire, you're renting.

[Lyle]

Okay. And how. How long is the lease that you signed?

[Caller D]

We just signed it about two months ago. So if I break it, I'm going to throw away several grand amongst trying to find a place to put a roof over my head, as well as trying to stay somewhat close to see my daughter.

[Lyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to oscillate between, like, my ins. My instinct to offer solutions versus my instinct to continue to interview you about the scope of the situation. Which would you prefer?

[Caller D]

I. I want to know how to first approach, like, getting my best friend back, because I completely wrote him off and, like, literally wrote him a letter of, like, you know, we're done, like, see you later, have a nice life type deal.

[Lyle]

You did. You wrote him up.

[Caller Danny]

Whoa.

[Lyle]

Okay. Okay. So you're. So your homie was, like, looking out for you. He was trying to be like, yo, this woman is, like, not good for you. And you wrote him back being like, you know, you. We're done, right?

[Caller D]

Yeah. Yeah, I completely wrote him off in a really bad time after his dad just died.

[Lyle]

Oh, man.

[Caller D]

He was trying. He was trying to get me to move up, to be with him, near him. We were actually working together at the time, and he was trying to get me to leave the lady, and I just didn't do it, and I should have did it, and the guy was having a really hard time. He was having anxiety attacks and, you know, all kinds of stuff. Just losing his dad out of nowhere, and I should have been a little better to him.

[Lyle]

Have you tried calling them?

[Caller D]

Yeah, I actually just started reaching out to him, and I told the ex who he left crazy voicemails to, and now she's at the point where she might not even want to talk to me anymore. Now she thinks it's a complete betrayal that I'm talking to him again.

[Lyle]

What? Wait, what? Okay, hold. Wait. Let's. Okay, one thing at a time here. So have you been. Have you been able to get back in touch with your friend?

[Caller D]

Yes, I've texted him sporadically.

[Lyle]

And you told him all the things, right?

[Caller D]

And then I'm embarrassed.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Caller D]

Yes.

[Lyle]

Yeah. And you told him all the things that you just said to me?

[Caller D]

Yes. Yes.

[Lyle]

And did he respond?

[Caller D]

Yes, He's. He's been open and nice. He said he's been treading lightly because he feels that, like, He. I would have not reached out to him ever if, you know, she didn't leave. And I think that's kind of a good point. I probably should have touched base with him sometime in between that. Between now and then, but it was just a nasty ending, so I kind of had to stay on her good side and not, you know, reach out to him.

[Lyle]

Dude, your friend sounds like a really good dude.

[Caller D]

He is. He's the best friend I could ever ask for. He actually. He took down four friends in the process. He went completely nuts when he found out that she was pregnant. He was calling her, saying that he hoodwinked me and she tricked me and all these things. And he has incredible foresight. He's a great friend. Hopefully I could win him back.

[Lyle]

Yeah, I mean, it's. It's. It is genuine.

[Joybox Advertiser]

It's very.

[Lyle]

I don't know if I don't know what the word for it is, but just the fact that, like, you know, you guys are in your, like, late 30s and your friend still has, like, this strong amount of investment in your. In your life going well, like, that's a really, really close relationship. How long have you been friends with this guy?

[Caller D]

Met him at a baseball camp when I was, like, 14.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's a real. Well, have you wanted to see him in person since this all went down?

[Caller D]

No, I'm trying to figure out my. My life arrangements here the last week or so, but I'm. I'm planning on trying to make a trip to him if he's open to see me.

[Lyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And so then you. But you've also. Because you've been in contact with your ex. Where. Where. Where is she?

[Caller D]

She's somewhere near town because she's. She's got a job up the street, but I'm not. I'm not really too sure. She hasn't invited me over for crumpets and coffee, so I'm not too sure, honestly.

[Lyle]

Okay, but she has your, like, kid.

[Caller D]

Yes. So the two times I've been able to see her since she's left, she's brought her to my apartment.

[Lyle]

Okay. Okay, so you. Okay, so you. This is not, like. Okay, the way you. The way you made it sound was that she, like, left town without a trace and whatnot. But you've seen her in the last 10 days?

[Caller Don Coos]

Yes.

[Caller D]

Yeah, we talk occasionally, you know, check up on the daughter, stuff like that, but.

[Lyle]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Caller D]

Social life is going.

[Lyle]

Okay, okay. Okay, wait, this is. That's. That makes the situation significantly less dire than I Thought the fact that you're still, like. So she's. She's not, like, cutting you off from your kid.

[Caller D]

No. I mean, that would probably be, like, kidnapping, but. Yeah. No, she hasn't. She probably will, but with due time. Probably just trying to get what left out of me. She can.

[Lyle]

Wow. Okay.

[Caller D]

What do you think about the. The whole thing? Her. Her announcing that she was pregnant at her sister's baby shower? What. What kind of human does something like that?

[Lyle]

I mean, yeah, it's probably. You want to let the. Let the person whose thing it is have the attention. For sure.

[Caller D]

Yeah, that's. That's pretty rotten, I think.

[Lyle]

Well, let's see. Okay, so now you're in a situation where you're like, all right, what were you gonna say?

[Caller D]

No, I was gonna say randomly if you were still in Japan.

[Lyle]

Oh, I'm somewhere in the universe. But you're.

[Caller D]

Okay.

[X Program Advertiser]

You're.

[Lyle]

So you're in this house and you're like, fuck, I'm gonna pay for this. Can you. All right, I'm try. I'm thinking about a contingency plan for you. Like, what's next? Right, well, you probably should. You probably have to get your fucking, like, legal a bit. A bit airtight. I know that's tough. H. Yeah, you're going to have to get some legal. Going to make sure that, like, your. Your ex doesn't, like, kidnap your child. Although that is illegal.

[Caller D]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

To do in general.

[Caller D]

Yeah. And they have. They have a really good highway system here where they. They have different alerts. They put them on the boards and stuff. So she'd get tracked down pretty quick if that happened.

[Lyle]

All right. Okay. All right. So. So the idea. So it's not super easy for her to just, like, kidnap your kid.

[Caller D]

Nah. No way.

[Lyle]

Okay. And. But you got. And also, you guys are still communicating, so you can. And she also. She lives in South Florida with you. Not like with you with you, but she lives in the same place as you.

[Caller D]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Okay. All right. That makes life a lot easier. And she's got, like, roots in South Carolina. She's got roots in South Florida. She's not gonna, like, go to, you know, France or whatever.

[Caller D]

Well, another red flag was she doesn't really have a whole lot of friends. She's actually from Mississippi. Funny thing is, at our engagement party, none of her friends showed up. It was only my one friend tried to save me, by the way. It was a. It was a small event. But, yeah, that was. That was a sign that. Yeah, but.

[Caller Don Coos]

So.

[Caller D]

But yeah, your question was no, she's not from south Florida and she doesn't really have many roots here, so. Yeah, she might be going back to Mississippi. You never know.

[Lyle]

Well, okay. As far as the apartment goes, how many rooms are in it?

[Caller D]

Just two.

[Lyle]

Just two. Could you get a roommate?

[Caller D]

Yeah, no, I haven't really thought about that yet. Probably should. Do you think I should put like, a craigslist out or something? Sad, lonely man in quick need of a roommate. What do you think I should put out there?

[Lyle]

I think sad, lonely man in quick need of a roommate could be an appealing offer. You can get a roommate. That could be fun.

[X Program Advertiser]

That would at least.

[Lyle]

I think that would. That could at least. That would at least ease the financial burden of like, being in this house by yourself.

[Caller D]

Like, buy.

[Lyle]

Yeah, it would buy you some time to, like, get out of the lease and like, figure your out foreign

[Caller D]

stuff to try to juggle at once. I haven't been sleeping very well.

[Lyle]

Yeah, I'm sure. What. What do you. What do you do you. What do you do for work?

[Caller D]

I'm in between job right now. I. I'm in the insurance world. Mm. They keep changing the rules after hurricanes come through here, so. Kind of a hard business to be in. Mm.

[Lyle]

Yeah, I guess. As far as, like. Yeah, definitely getting a roommate for the place. Sounds like your bud. Your buddy sounds like he's open to. The fact that you're in communication with him. Is good. The fact that he's, like, willing to, like, work out with you, you know, it doesn't sound like he's gone.

[Caller D]

No, I don't think he's God, but it's hard for me to, like, he just. He thinks that, you know, K is such a demon. It's hard for him to like, I think, feel the love back right away, you know?

[Lyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that relate. But I. If that relationship sounds like it. It's both repairable and worth repairing. And you sound like you care about him, so for sure. I'm sure that over time that relationship will naturally heal. Sound like you care about. You sound like you care a lot about your daughter. So I think naturally you will find a way to be in her life. It sounds like there's hopefully decent protective measures such that, you know, your ex can't, like, kidnap your kid. You can get a roommate to offset the cost of the crazy apartment. I guess this is after explaining, I guess just like from an outsider perspective after listening to your. To your tail. These are. These are kind of the little, like, paths forward that I'm Seeing.

[Caller D]

Thanks, Geck. I really appreciate the. The spreadsheet for self improvement. I think, I think I'm on the road to recovery.

[Lyle]

Yeah, man,

[Caller D]

and your podcast has helped with a lot too, man. You really, you have a great talent.

[Lyle]

Oh, thanks, man. I'm really happy that you could listen to. I'm really happy to provide a platform where. Where people can listen to other people's lives and be like, well, at least. At least my life isn't that bad. Isn't as bad as this person's.

[Caller D]

Yeah. And like, I don't want to like go off of that, you know, because it's not fun to like envy in people's shit, you know?

[Lyle]

No, no, there's a word. There is a perspective. No, I'm just being silly. There is a word for that. It's called schadenfreude. It's a German word. Did you know that?

[Caller D]

Mm, no, that's.

[Lyle]

Let me look this up. How the fuck do I spell this? Schadenfreude. Oh, yeah, there's a word for this. Oh, okay. Schadenfreude is the experience of pleasure, joy, or self satisfaction that comes from witnessing the troubles or failures of another person.

[Caller D]

Interesting.

[Lyle]

Yeah. So it's like feeling pleasure that at least your life is not as bad as someone else's.

[Caller Don Coos]

Yeah.

[Caller D]

And more so, I think it gives you like perspective and like gratitude. Like when you're feeling down and stuff, you're like, well, I can still make it work, you know?

[Lyle]

Yeah. Yeah. People figured out how to make it work. Somehow. Somehow people figure out how to make it work.

[Caller D]

You just need a little therapy from a gecko.

[Lyle]

Nah, man, you gotta, you know, I mean, see a real therapist if you can, but I'm happy to talk through all this with you.

[Caller D]

Hmm.

[Lyle]

Is there any other. Before. Before we end, is there any other aspect of this that you wanted to talk through or talk about or anything like that?

[Caller D]

I'm trying to think here. Not really. I just want to win my friend back and get him involved in my daughter's life and not have him despise my daughter even though he's half of my demon X. I don't think your

[Lyle]

friends gonna despise your daughter. Your daughter's just a fucking kid, dude. There's if your friend, your friends. Your friend seems like a nice guy. I think. He's not the kind. He's not. He's not gonna despise an innocent two year old girl for no reason.

[Caller D]

That's true. That's a good point.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Give that shit some time, but I think. I think the homies will prevail.

[Caller D]

Thanks, Jack. I love you, man. Make your way to South Florida, if you don't mind.

[Lyle]

Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go? D?

[Caller D]

No, just that you're a sensation that's taking off and.

[Lyle]

Oh, thanks, man.

[Caller D]

I'm excited to see where you go in the near future, man. Nice talking to you again.

[Lyle]

Thank you, D. It was nice talking to you, too. You take care. Good luck, man.

[Caller D]

All right, easy.

[Lyle]

See you, man.

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[Caller Danny]

Hello?

[Lyle]

Hello? What's up?

[Caller Danny]

Holy. Is this Lyle?

[Lyle]

It is. Who is this?

[Caller Danny]

Oh my God. I did not expect to fucking come on. My name is Danny.

[Lyle]

Danny. What's going on, Danny? How's life?

[Caller Danny]

Life is kind of chillin, I guess.

[Lyle]

Life is kind of chillin I guess. Why is life kind of chillin'?

[Caller Danny]

I. I mean I work a Shea retail job so that's always great. And I just started school again, so I'm like buried in the books right now.

[Lyle]

You texted me and you said, I think I am cursed when it comes to making friends with girls and I don't know if I want to continue my current friendship. Why do you. Why do you feel cursed?

[Caller Danny]

So I'm gonna use a different name for my friend. So a little background. I used to have a friend, I'll call her Jenny. She was like my super close friend at my work back home. FYI. I like moved to this like new area like three years ago. But yeah, so like we became close friends and like she was a mom of two and like I was like super fun hanging out with her. And then the friendship turned a little sideways when she was like going through like a lot of personal shit in her marriage. Basically her husband was like a piece of shit. So I was like there to help her through their like tough times, like helping her pick up her kids while she was like at work and you know, just trying to be a supportive friend. So then before I moved like our friendship got really weird because we brought in another friend to like with with our friend group. And so like they were close but then we like me and the new girl, we started to become close and I guess that like bothered her really badly. So like wait, your friend, your friend,

[Lyle]

your friend is your friend was bothered by you becoming friends with someone else?

[Caller Danny]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Why?

[Caller Danny]

I. I don't know. It was just, like, really weird. I don't know if it's because, like, we were, like, chilling and vibing while, like, her life was kinda kind of going through the. A little.

[Lyle]

Dude, your friend. Your friend's like, your friend is. Is married.

[Caller Danny]

Yeah, she. She's married.

[Lyle]

How old are you? Are all you guys.

[Caller Danny]

So I'm like, I just turned 30. She's like a couple years older than me. Like, I want to say she's like 30. Like, she was 31 or 32. And then the new girl, she's like, same. Like, basically around the same age. Like, me and her, like, pretty much almost 30.

[Lyle]

Okay, so your friend's life is falling apart, and you're kind of like her rock for this. For her life. Falling apart.

[Caller Danny]

Yeah. Yeah. Like, both of us were.

[Lyle]

Okay. Okay. And then your. Wait, both of you were. Wait, both you and the new girl were. Were. Were like her rock for her life falling apart?

[Caller Danny]

Pretty much. Like, me and the new girl, we were there for her when, like, her husband was running. Doesn't matter. We're not friends anymore. But like, basically her husband, like, hit her.

[Lyle]

Oh, geez.

[Caller Danny]

Yeah, like, and the. And the super fucked up part was like, he did that, like, on Valentine's Day.

[Lyle]

Okay. I think it's. I think the hitting is the more fucked up part, but I think.

[Caller Danny]

Yeah, I mean, it definitely was like, in. She didn't, like, do anything for Valentine's Day, so like, I brought her like, a box of chocolate because she's like my best friend. So I was like, here you go. So, yeah, it was. It was all fucked up.

[Lyle]

Okay, so your friend. Okay, okay. So, so this new lady comes into your dynamic, and then the new friend, and you are helping out this friend who's going through a real tough time. Okay. And then at some point, you start becoming closer with the new person, and this friend starts getting, like, jealous that you and this new girl are, like, hanging out more.

[Caller Danny]

Yeah. Because she, like, her. Since her husband was like, a piece of shit, like, he would not let her go and hang out with us.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Caller Danny]

Because of how possessive he was. So that's why, like, she was also kind of, like, pissed off because she was dealing with him and then, like, her kids and she moved from one state to another, so she didn't really have, like, family around. So pretty much like. Yeah, like, we were. We were her walk too much.

[Lyle]

Okay, so you and new girl are in one state. Then this lady and her abusive boyfriend, they moved to a different state. And then so she. So this new girl is kind of, like, isolated while you and the new girl are, like, hanging out.

[Caller Danny]

Yes and no. Like, she. She moved from Utah to California.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Caller Don Coos]

So.

[Caller Danny]

Yeah. So all of her family's in Utah, and she doesn't have anybody out here in California except for, like, her husband and his family.

[Lyle]

You know what's funny? Okay, so you didn't hear. Okay, how do I say this? It's interesting because. Okay, just to tie everything together. It's interesting because, like, I mean, you guys are, like, 30, right? Like, you're all on your own. You're all. You're all. You all have your own arcs, and you all have your own lives pretty much. And. And there's like. Not, like, I really feel. Like, I really feel for your friend, and it sounds like she was just going through, like, some crazy ass and, like. But it sounds like your friends going through, like, some crazy. But it's not your fault that she's going through some crazy ass. And it's. She can't just be like, I'm going through this tough thing and you're not there for me. And you're. It's like. It's like, oh, it's so. Like, there's only so much that you can do. Like, you have your own life, you know?

[Caller Danny]

Yeah. Yeah. And plus, like, I was still going to college while, like, dealing with all of her, too.

[Lyle]

That. You didn't. Okay, the title. You didn't hear this other call, but the previous caller earlier in the episode, like, his friend was, like, bay. It was like, begging, texting him, trying to get out of a, like, similarly toxic relationship. And they were also, like, in their 30s, and I found that to be interesting. Like, that friend kind of feel like. I feel like they went, like, a little above and beyond to, you know, do that. It's. It's very, like, it. It's not your. Like, this woman's life is not, like, your responsibility, you know?

[Caller Danny]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

I mean, it's also. It's.

[Caller Danny]

But sounds like you were supportive.

[Lyle]

Yeah. You were trying to be supportive, but at the end of day, like, well, there's only so much that you can do, you know?

[Caller Danny]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

And it's like the fact that she's, like, blaming you for this and being like, oh, you weren't a good enough. Like, that's wild to me.

[Caller Danny]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lyle]

So, I mean, I feel for her, but that's still. That's wild.

[Caller Danny]

Yeah, it's. It's. It doesn't make any sense like that. Yeah. So, like, fast forward after moving to, like, this new part of California that I'm currently in. So our new friend, she came out to visit me with her boyfriend and I, like, posted a picture of all of us together on social media. And then. So what the. Did I call her Jenny? So Jenny, like, messaged us in Snapchat and was like, what the. Like, you guys, like, basically told us, like, we suck as friends. And like, why? Because she was jealous that, like, me and the new girl were able to, like, hang out and visit each other.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Caller Danny]

And so, like, I, Yeah, so, like, I called her out on her. I was like, what the is wrong with you? Like, I, I don't know what I did. And to be honest, it doesn't feel like you're like, my friend.

[Lyle]

Yeah, I mean, she's got it. She. Her, her life is up and she's gotta, like, I mean, she's gotta leave that. I, I, who know, I'm not talking to her. So I don't want to, like, comment too much on, like, what the. I, I don't know what her full. I don't know what her full deal is or, like, what's preventing her from, like, leaving that relationship and, like, moving on with her. I don't, I don't really know. But it's not your, it's not. She can't, like, make it your responsibility. Like, she's got, like, she's fudgeing, like, 30 something. She's gotta, like, handle her.

[Caller Danny]

Yeah. And, like, I try to, like, show her, like, different, like, women, like, women shelters and stuff. Because it was mainly financial. That's why, like, she had to stay with her husband because he was like, basically the one making all the money. But anyway, yeah, so, like, she messaged us and, like, was like, what the blah, blah. So then I told her, like, well, it doesn't feel like you're my friend anymore. And then she, like, proceeds to tell me, like, we're not friends and I'm tired of, like, carrying all of your baggage. And, and it's like, what the, what the are you talking about?

[Lyle]

Like, nah, this lady. This lady. Listen, here's true truth. Here's. This lady is like, I feel. I, I feel bad. I feel bad for her because she's clearly like, yeah, she's clearly like, I feel bad for her because she's clearly, like, in this situation where she feels like she has, like, no one and nothing and no control. And, like, she's la and for some reason she's choosing to, like, lash out at, like, someone who's like, trying to fucking help her, like, you're set. You're, like, sending her these shelters. You're like. Like you're trying to fucking help her, and her life is just so out of control, and she's just, like, emotion. She just needs someone to, like, blame and lash out at, and that's. And she's choosing you. And, like, listen, if you want. And I genuinely, like, if you want to be the bigger person, if you want to be the biggest, you know, look, you. You. You can live your life however you want, right? If you want to be the bigger person, what you can do is be like, listen, I can't like, you. You can't treat me like this. Like, you can't lash out at me. I know that your life is, like, fucked up and whatever. Just so you know, we're still good. Like, whenever you figure out your shit, like, go to the shelter, like, whenever you figure out your shit, right? Whenever you leave this guy and you can figure out your shit, like, I know that there's. Whenever you figure out your shit, just so you know, I'm here when. Whenever you're ready to send that text, being like, hey, I'm sorry. I was in this horrible situation. I shouldn't have lashed out at you. I was wrong. Let's be friends again. Just so you know, whenever you send me that text, bring her in. Let's all go to the water park together. You, me, the other girl, we'll hang out. It'll be great. Just so you know, whenever you're ready to do that, I'm here. If you want to be the bigger person, you let her know that whenever you're ready, that whenever she's ready, you're there. Right? But until then, if our whole thing is you getting pissed off at me because your life sucks, I don't want any part of that. But when you figure out your shit, I'm here. You know what I mean?

[Caller Danny]

Yeah, that's.

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That.

[Caller Don Coos]

That's.

[Lyle]

That's. Go ahead.

[Caller Danny]

The only problem is, like, when I did want to, like, ask her, like, what the her issue was, she, like, blocked me and the new girl.

[Kel Penn]

Cool.

[Lyle]

That's fine. Yeah. That's not an issue. Yeah, that's not an issue.

[Caller Danny]

No, because I was like, she has.

[Lyle]

She still has. No, no. This, this. This. Let this. Again, if you want to be, like, the bigger person, like, let this person block you and do all this stuff, and if you really want, you can be like. I mean, you don't have to say any of this. This is just, like, mentally for you is like, listen, when you're ready, I'm here. But until then, like I'm not going to. I have no mental space for this.

[Caller Danny]

Yeah, yeah, pretty much. But like after that I've been vibing, I've been chilling. Like no contact with her and. Yeah, so it's, it's been, it's been okay, but fast forward to currently.

[Lyle]

Oh, there's more.

[Caller Danny]

Having the same. There's more. Yeah, because I was just giving you a little insight of like a girl named Jenny, like that I was friends with before and now I have another girl with the same name going through almost kind of the same kind of shit.

[Lyle]

Okay.

[Caller Danny]

Yeah, so.

[Lyle]

Okay, so just take every take. Okay, so just take, take everything I said over the course of this call and just pretend like I said it again for this lady.

[Caller Danny]

Yeah, with this one it's a little different. So she. So this new girl, Jenny that I'm friends with currently. So she also went through like kind of, kind of some up as well. Like she got fired from our job out of nowhere and then her girlfriend, I guess she found out, cheated on her.

[Caller Don Coos]

Okay, so then why is he.

[Lyle]

Why is, why is this different? Just to skip to the that part.

[Caller Danny]

So skipping to this part, she's like a little bit mentally unstable. Like she literally has been submitted into the like psych ward like twice within this month.

[Lyle]

I ask again, why is this different?

[Caller Danny]

Because this time like we're still friends but like her current situation is just like what the fuck are you doing?

[Lyle]

Because like bro, you know. Danny, Danny, Danny, I actually, I don't. Danny, actually, I actually don't need to hear about this other friend. I just am going to tell you this. Like, Danny, listen, you can, you can have a peaceful life if you really want to. Like, it's okay, dude. It's okay. Danny, if you, if you want to just choose peace, like, it's okay, dude. Like you could do it. You don't, you don't have to feel bad about, about just fucking picking peace. You know what I mean? I mean you're like you're. You're like 30 now. You know what I mean? Like you're not, it's not like you're, it's like you've been like assigned a seat next to this person in fucking science class or whatever. Like you can, yeah, you can pick and choose like what you want into your existence.

[Caller Danny]

Yeah, like I, it just sucks cuz the whole going back to like I feel like I'm cursed is because.

[Lyle]

What about the new. Wait, what about the other girl? What about the New girl. The new girls and you are chilling. What about her?

[Caller Danny]

Like, we are. We're. We are chilling, but it's just like, her, like, the decision she's making right now, like, I'm just like, what? What? Like, girl, what the are you doing? Like, no, you shouldn't be doing this.

[Lyle]

What is she? What is she? What? Like, what?

[Caller Danny]

So, like, she. Okay, so after, like, her two mental breakdowns, she is like, this is the new girl? This is my new girl.

[Lyle]

Okay.

[Caller Danny]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Wait, the new. Wait, the new girl and the mentally ill girl are the same people?

[Caller Danny]

No, they're two different people, but they have the same name. Okay, yeah, which is really, really weird. But yeah, with this one, she, like, she still hasn't found a job. She got kicked out of her. Her roommate's place because after her, like, episode, she, like, just wrecked it. And they were like, yeah, we can't. We can't keep you here.

[Lyle]

Danny. Danny.

[Caller Danny]

Yes.

[Lyle]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna attempt to simplify this, and I'm just gonna tell you, like, listen,

[Caller Don Coos]

you're.

[Lyle]

You're. You're entitled to have peace if that's what you so choose. And you're also entitled to make your decisions about whether or not the people around you are bringing you peace or anguish. And you can do that without, You know, guilt.

[Caller Danny]

Yeah, it's just. Is like, I know I can keep my peace, but it's just like, I. I don't know if I want to continue this. This friendship currently that I have because, like, pretty much like, the big kicker is she got pregnant and now she's, like, excited. Oh, like, I want you guys to throw a baby shower. And I'm so excited. La, la, la. But it's just so hard to be supportive with all the crazy that she's been through. Literally within, like, a month.

[Lyle]

I want you guys to throw a baby shower.

[Caller Danny]

Yeah, like, she wants us to throw a baby shower for her.

[Lyle]

Well, you don't. What do you. What are. You heard? Assistants, right?

[Caller Danny]

Like, we're friends. Like, we're good friends, but no, that's stupid.

[Lyle]

This. This person. I. That's. That's lame. Like, yeah, she. This. You're not her assistant or, like, her boyfriend or, like. No, I don't. I don't. I don't like this.

[Caller Danny]

I. I mean, I'm not really supportive of. Of her pregnancy because of, like, all the. That she. That she just went through. And then on top of that, like, she's finishing up school as well. And the current boyfriend that she has, like, they've literally been dating less, less than a month and they're already pregnant. Yeah. So it's like, I don't.

[Lyle]

You, I don't. Do you know, you, you, you keep running into this thing where like everyone is like sort of like demanding that you be responsible for various things in their life.

[Caller Danny]

It's just more like I just, I just want normal friendship. I just.

[Lyle]

Yeah, no, this is not normal.

[Caller Danny]

And like I.

[Lyle]

You can.

[Caller Danny]

And I feel like. And I can, I know that I can. But like, it just feels like I'm cursed because when I try to make these friends, it's like something happens or hits the fan and I'm like, what the? Like, why? And like me and the new, new girl that we're like still friends with, I was telling her about this situation and she goes, dude, you just attract like crazy, like all the crazy. I'm like, I don't try to like, I, I just, I just want to be friends with like normal people that I can go shoot the with and go eat like whatever the. And just hang out and laugh, but it's like all their shit just somehow ends up like being a part of my life in like a small kind of way.

[Lyle]

I'm going to tell you the thing that I tell like literally everybody on this fucking podcast, which is that like you need to join a community of people because what you really need are like a bunch of acquaintances. And then from those acquaintances you will naturally select whom you become closer with as opposed to like being locked in these like kind of insane like one on one friendships.

[Caller Danny]

Yeah, and I feel like that's, that's like part of the problem too with like making friends in your 30s. Like, because like I never really had like close knit friends because I was like bullied a lot when I was in middle school. And so like it kind of made me like, it's not like be afraid to have friends. So like, that's why like I'm very careful with like who I want to have in my life. And it just feels like when I do feel like I have people who I feel like I can trust, like some, some weird fucking thing always happens and it's like, well, fuck, like, do I even, do I even have a friend? Do I even want to continue this friendship? So like, pretty much why that's what I'm saying. Like, I feel like I'm fucking cursed because I feel like I can never have like a genuine friendship.

[Lyle]

That's not true. I think you just need to look in different places. Where did you meet These people work. Okay, what do you do outside of work? I'm about to give you the same spiel I give. I've given 8 billion other callers. But, like, I think you need to. I think. I think you need to, like, find a community outside of work that you can, like, regularly show up at. And that way, like, you have acquaintances and, you know, kind of like. Well, you can kind of use that as, like a filter to find, like, well adjusted people.

[Caller Danny]

Yeah, I mean, like, I'm slowly talking to people in my class that I'm in right now. Like, I obviously like it. I just started this week, so it's like, I don't want to be, like, gone ho. Like, I'm just slowly getting to know these people. But I also have, like, a Discord server that I used to, like, be a part of a lot because my ex had a computer. So I would always, like, game with them. It was just cool. Like, it was just.

[Lyle]

Wait, wait, wait. You said your ex had a computer?

[Caller Danny]

My ex had a, like a full blown, like, gaming computer. So I like, ran a Discord server and I had friends that way. But, like, I thought you.

[Lyle]

I thought you were, like, I thought you were. You were kind of implying that, like, you didn't have. Do you have a computer?

[Caller Danny]

I mean, I have a laptop, but that's more for school. But not like a full setup.

[Lyle]

A laptop. Second.

[Caller Danny]

Yeah, but it's not the same. I can't. I can't game, like, the kind of games that they do. Like, it's. Yeah. Like, I want one eventually and, like, go back to, like, being part of my Discord server. Like, I'll still talk to my friends on Discord, like, here and there, but, like, I don't know, because I don't have, like, a full blown PC setup. I don't really have the opportunity to, like, really hang out with them. So,

[Lyle]

Danny, is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?

[Caller Danny]

Take care of your mental health and really, really pick people who you want to help you thrive, not. Not stress you out. Oh, and while my boyfriend really loves you and.

[Lyle]

Oh, shit.

[Caller Danny]

Letting you know that.

[Lyle]

Oh, shit. Tell him I said, what's up? Tell him I said. Tell him I said thank you. Wait, is he the one that told you about who. Who told who about the show?

[Caller Danny]

He actually introduced me to you.

[Lyle]

Oh, cool. Hell, yeah.

[Caller Danny]

Yeah, he's been listening to you for years, so he's.

[Lyle]

Well, I wonder if he'll be jealous that you got to speak to me And I. And we. And I didn't get to speak to you.

[Caller Danny]

He was like, he was wigging the out just now. Like, he, he's super shy, but like he was wigging the out that actually gone on. Yeah, I'll tell.

[Lyle]

Okay. Give him a. Give him a pat on the head for me or something.

[Caller Danny]

Will do, Lyle. Thank you.

[Lyle]

See you. Danny. Danny forever. 10,000 years of Danny. That's very interesting. I feel like that call and the previous call have a lot of like, that's so I keep. I'm trying, I'm drawing. There's a lot of parallels between that call in the previous call of just like how involved, like especially like in your 30s, like, how involved are your friends supposed to be in your life? You know, like you got like a previous caller's friend, like super involved, like willingly. Right. And then you got like this, this, this woman's like, friends are trying to get her really involved in their life, like, kind of like against her will. It's interesting.

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[Lyle]

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[Caller D]

Hello?

[Lyle]

Hey, what's up, homie?

[Caller D]

Oh, is this Lyle?

[Lyle]

Yes, who is this?

[Caller Don Coos]

Oh, my name is Don Coos.

[Lyle]

Don Coos,

[Caller Don Coos]

lovely to hear from you. How are you doing?

[Lyle]

I'm doing okay. It's a lovely day on the earth for some people. Some people. You know what's crazy? Today is the worst day of many people's lives, but it's also the best day of many people's lives. There's such an infinite amount of everything happening everywhere all at once. But if we start thinking about that, we're gonna go insane. So let's focus on the thing specifically that is happening with you that is the reason that you called in today.

[Caller Don Coos]

Oh, yeah, no. Well, real quick. What I have to say about the philosophical question you have proposed to me is how often do you think the ratio changes of people having the best days and their worst days? I'm just caution

[Lyle]

often. Does the ratio change? Yeah, I don't know. I think the universe has some form of predictable frequency to it where the ratio is kind of probably remains the same over time. That's just my wild guess.

[Caller Don Coos]

Yeah, I feel like at the beginning of the week everyone's life sucks. At the end of the week, everyone's life is good and it balances itself out.

[Lyle]

Hit me with your thing, homie.

[Caller Don Coos]

Yeah, so I went to a casino to go see a comedian perform. At on South Florida. And I got there a little early with some friends, and I brought only a hundred dollars with me because I didn't. I couldn't bear losing more than that, right? And before the show, I put 50 down, run it all the way up to like 110, and then run it all the way down to zero. And it happened in like the matter of 15 minutes. I don't gamble often, and I've never even had an experience where it's gone to the point where I've tripled my money and then gone all the way down to zero. So I felt like the casino was out for me. So I was like, I'm not going to gamble anymore. I go to the comedy show and I have such a great time giggling with my friends, in which I'm like, I'm gonna put these $50 down. And I lose everything up to my last 10. Schmax.

[Lyle]

Huh?

[Caller Don Coos]

And I put 10 bucks on a red seven and I walked out of there with $360. Can't believe they left the lights on after I left that place.

[Lyle]

You know what the lesson is, right? Because you brought up, you brought $100 in there and you were like, I'm prepared to lose this $100. And you did.

[Caller D]

Correct.

[Lyle]

But. But then you put down 150 more, right? And then you walked out with $300. So the lesson is that if you gamble and lose all your money, you just keep gambling, you just keep going. And you will inevitably be rewarded for that.

[Caller Don Coos]

Oh, absolutely. You only lose if you quit.

[Lyle]

Yes, absolutely. Who's this comedian that you saw?

[Caller Don Coos]

I went to go see Stavros.

[Lyle]

Oh, cool. Oh, cool. That's funny that he was playing at the casino. How was he?

[Caller D]

Oh, it was, it was.

[Caller Don Coos]

He was actually so, so funny. Like, my girlfriend doesn't even like stand up comedy like that for real. And I, I convinced her to do it and she came, she came along with me and me and a couple of buddies. And as we're watching, I've never seen her laugh so much at just some dude on stage talking. And it's like we've gone to like, gone to like, don't tell comedy shows and like, other different small comedy shows. This is like the first theater show that she's ever been to. Like, send like a real professional do it.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Caller Don Coos]

And man, we had a great time.

[Lyle]

Yeah. He's the last person where. He's the last person where I'm like, oh, I really want to get him on this show. Maybe we'll make it happen someday. But. Well, what are you gonna spend your $300 on? Or I guess you really netted. You really netted 150. But what are you gonna spend your $150 in profit on?

[Caller Don Coos]

Oh, my $150 in profit went straight to Wawa hoagie sandwiches right after. And then I put a hundred dollars down onto a wisdom teeth surgery I'm having in like, a week or two.

[Lyle]

Well, Don, I'm gl. Thank you so much for finally. You know, it's. It's always good to hear a. A positive story of perseverance and overcoming adversary on here. So I appreciate you, Sharon, of course.

[Caller Don Coos]

Also, if you don't mind me just saying my piece real quick, I got to see you live in the. What's it called? The Doral Beach Improv, like, two years ago.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Caller Don Coos]

And at the end of the year, I posted my. My.

[Caller D]

I guess.

[Caller Don Coos]

I think. I think it was like 2024 wrapped of, like, a bunch of, like, just things that I did. And meeting you was. Was.

[Caller D]

Was.

[Caller Don Coos]

Was a huge highlight. And all I really remember from the interaction that we had, because I was a little starstruck, was that I told you that the shrimp that sleeps the current takes them, but I told you it in Spanish.

[Lyle]

Oh, I don't remember. I wish I remembered that. I really do.

[Caller D]

It's okay.

[Caller Don Coos]

You're a green man traveling the green world. A lot of green things to see.

[Lyle]

Thanks, Homie. I'll try to make it back. I'll try. I don't have any Florida dates this year, but maybe I'll try to add one if there's enough demand.

[Caller D]

Well, I hope our cross.

[Caller Don Coos]

Our paths cross again.

[Lyle]

Yeah, you too, man. You too. Is there anything else you want to say to the folks before we go?

[Caller Don Coos]

Wash your rice?

[Caller D]

I've.

[Caller Don Coos]

I've actually encountered too many people recently where I've gone over to their house to have dinner, and they don't wash their rice. And I thought that was a joke on the Internet that people don't wash their rice. So my. My big. If there's anything to. To leave off of from this call

[Caller D]

is wash your rice.

[Lyle]

Wash your rice. Whatever that means to you. However you want to interpret that. Wash your rice. Thanks for calling, Don.

[Caller Don Coos]

Of course. Have a great. Have a great night, Lyle.

[Lyle]

Take care, man.

[Caller D]

Bye,

[Lyle]

Don, forever. Hey, folks, if you're interested in getting a full entire bonus episode this week, plus getting all episodes of this show completely ad free, plus supporting the show's continued existence, then please consider becoming a member of our Patreon over at patreon.com Lyle Forever or find the link in the episode description Here's a quick preview of this week's bonus episode.

[J]

My parents owned the first Costa Rican circus.

[Lyle]

Whoa. What was your favorite part of being part of the Costa Rican circus?

[J]

I feel like it's just seeing how it connects people. Like a lot of people. Like it was all ages. Like not only kids really enjoyed it, but also like older people, you know what I mean? And just seeing how much people actually

[Caller Don Coos]

like would go to it.

[J]

Because in Latin America, I don't know other than like Cirques Olay, I don't hear about like. And maybe in like bigger countries, like in Mexico, but in like Central America, we don't get a lot of like circuses. You know what I mean? So just having one, it was very interesting.

[Lyle]

Once again, if you want to support the show, hear this bonus episode plus our entire catalog of existing bonus episodes plus get all episodes ad free. We would love to have you join us [e-mail] lyleforever Link in the episode description thank you very much and Geck bless you forever and ever and ever and ever.

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[Lyle]

You'll also get expert advice, text support,

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and a personalized quit plan, all for free. Visit exprogram.com to explore X program's community today at CVS.

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It matters that we're not just in your community, but that we're part of it. It matters that we're here for you when you need us, day or night. And we want everyone to feel welcomed and rewarded. It matters that CVS is here to fill your prescriptions and here to fill your craving for a tasty and yeah, healthy snack. At cvs, we're proud to serve your community because we believe where you get your medicine matters. So Visit [e-mail] or just come by our store. We can't wait to meet you. Store hours vary by location.

[Kel Penn]

Hey everyone, it's Kel Penn. I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast, Hearsay, The Audible, and iHeart Audiobook Club. Every episode, I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible. It's the book club for your ears. Listen to Irsay the AudioBook, Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

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