“THE PRESSURE IS MOUNTING”

Summary

Therapy Gecko – "THE PRESSURE IS MOUNTING"

Date: April 5, 2026
Podcast: Therapy Gecko (iHeartPodcasts)
Host: Lyle (Therapy Gecko)

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Episode Overview

In this thought-provoking, meandering, and often humorous episode, Therapy Gecko (Lyle) travels the emotional universe with three callers navigating life’s mounting pressures. The central theme revolves around personal transitions, relationship dynamics, anxiety, and the struggle of aligning reality with our ambitions. Through candid conversations, Lyle juggles empathy, comedic relief, and practical advice (with many disclaimers that he's "not a real therapist"), offering listeners comfort and perspective.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Grayson: Life Changes & Guilt in Partnership

(Starts ~02:10)

• Context: Grayson calls in while on a break from his job stocking shelves at Kroger, overwhelmed as he prepares to get married and move to Nashville in pursuit of his dream career.
• Mounting Pressure: Wedding planning, feeling financial imbalance (his fiancée is a nurse and out-earns him), and the emotional weight of moving for his dreams while his partner sacrifices proximity to family.
• Relationship Dynamics: Lyle probes into the couple’s arrangement—validating Grayson’s guilt and anxiety about "making good" on his fiancée's sacrifices.
• Career Transition: Grayson expresses creative self-doubt in pursuing music for film; worries about not landing a job or living up to potential.
• Advice & Support:
  • Input vs. Outcome Dependency: "Replace the pressure of outcome with motivation for your inputs," Lyle advises. Don’t spiral about landing the perfect job—show appreciation through daily actions and effort.
  • Mutual Support: Lyle highlights the importance of showing up in small ways and recognizing each other's sacrifices as mutual contributions, not a burden to repay.

Notable Quotes:

• Grayson: "I really feel a pressure to pull it off, [...] to get to where I ideally want to because she's doing so much to allow me to take the chance to try, you know?" (15:30)
• Lyle: "As long as you do those things, you’ll be fine. [...] Replace the pressure and outcome dependency with more motivation for your inputs." (17:45)

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2. Johnny: Relationships, OCD, and Communication Breakdowns

(Starts ~28:41)

• Context: Johnny is up all night with insomnia, processing a potential marital breakup after his wife told him she "needs a break" due to longstanding issues.
• Root Issue: Johnny's obsessive, OCD-like behaviors (e.g., fixating on how tasks like dishes should be done) have caused emotional exhaustion for his wife—issues previously discussed, but now at a boiling point.
• Emotional Landscape:
  • Johnny acknowledges his faults, but wishes there had been more ongoing communication rather than letting frustrations accumulate.
  • He fears therapy ("What if someone is not compatible?"), but is now open to going, not only for the marriage, but to better himself.
  • Lyle affirms these feelings, shares personal parallels, and frames the problem as one of "alignment" and "work" in relationships.
• Realistic Outcomes:
  • Sometimes improvement isn’t enough to overcome a partner’s emotional exhaustion—focus on self-betterment regardless of outcome.
  • Lyle prompts Johnny to express his feelings to his wife about the need for better communication before she makes a final decision.

Notable Quotes:

• Johnny: "If I don't know what I am doing wrong, I can't fix it." (43:22)
• Lyle: "There’s a certain level of alignment that work can just keep overcoming, but then there’s a certain distance of alignment that just can’t go past her threshold." (51:16)
• Lyle: "Just don’t walk away thinking you’re a broken person or that you used the years incorrectly." (51:51)
• Lyle (advice): "Be prepared for your piece to not be good enough—but you’ll sleep better at night knowing you tried." (53:53)

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3. Greg: Feeling Stuck, Ambition, & The American Dream

(Starts ~65:11)

• Context: Greg, a 26-year-old, shares feelings of complacency—still living with his parents and working inventory for a flooring company while aspiring for more.
• Personal Goals:
  • Greg wants financial independence, to live alone, and hopes to eventually run his father's trucking company.
  • He is frustrated by obstacles (like an injury that halted his education) and the slow grind toward his ideal self.
• Comparison Trap:
  • Lyle reflects on the pressure of comparing oneself to a “dream version,” and the importance of being patient with incremental progress.
• Modern Realities:
  • They discuss how hard it is for young people today to “do it all right” and the changing definition of success and independence.
• Friendship & Support:
  • Greg has strong family ties, a best friend nearby, supportive relationships, and a broader online community.
  • Greg is hesitant to move in with roommates, preferring to have his own space when he finally moves out.
• Optimism & Confidence:
  • Lyle reassures Greg: "You have the sauce... You got the salt, you got the sauce, brother."

Notable Quotes:

• Greg: "I would like to start my own life. I feel like I’m in that stage where I’m ready to be on my own." (68:02)
• Lyle: "As long as there’s a vague direction...we’re vaguely moving forward in life somehow, then I’m like, okay." (70:09)
• Greg: "I want to be able to take time off, live with my family...not have to worry about what bill is going to get paid the next day." (74:52)
• Lyle: "You have the sauce… I think you’ll be okay." (75:25)

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

• Lyle on Giving Advice: "I hate giving advice. What did you think—was that good advice?" (21:10)
• On Grocery Cart Etiquette: Lighthearted debate: Is leaving carts in the lot evil or just selfish?
• On Relationship Dynamics: "In a relationship, there are a billion different roles and things, and you have to decide what you’re willing to put up with." (47:45)
• On Traveling & Dreams: "Don't travel and shatter your illusions of what could be. Just sit in your room all day, not doing anything, dreaming of what could be..." (61:00)
• Fan Engagement: Lyle promises Greg a tour ticket if he comes to the show and can prove his identity, building an in-joke about distinguishing the "real Greg." (80:31)

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Important Timestamps

• 02:10: Grayson begins, discusses Kroger, work, and life transitions.
• 06:01: Grayson reveals upcoming wedding and move, emotional context.
• 17:45: Lyle’s "input vs. outcome" advice for Grayson.
• 21:23: Grayson wraps up; Lyle pivots on podcast purpose.
• 28:41: Johnny opens up about insomnia and relationship issues.
• 33:22: Johnny describes OCD tendencies and the toll on his marriage.
• 39:33: Johnny reveals ongoing lack of sleep and emotional distress.
• 44:10: Lyle discusses "alignment and work" in relationships.
• 51:16: Major quote about relationship thresholds.
• 65:11: Greg joins, deep-dive into ambitions and frustrations.
• 72:55: On the cost of adulthood and societal expectations.
• 74:50: Greg’s vision for life and retirement.
• 80:31: Lyle and Greg’s joke about show tickets and "the real Greg."

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Episode Tone & Style

Therapy Gecko’s signature: a blend of playful absurdity, unfiltered honesty, and genuine empathy. Lyle seamlessly switches between humor (Greg-naming quiz, shopping cart debates), validation, and gentle, realistic encouragement—always circling back to the nonjudgmental, supportive "lizard therapist" core of the show.

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For New Listeners

You’ll find comfort listening to strangers wrestle with the same anxieties, ambitions, and existential doubts that you do. Therapy Gecko doesn’t have all the answers—but you’ll leave feeling less alone and, perhaps, less pressured by your own mounting "shoulds."

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Essential Takeaways

• Progress over perfection: Don’t measure worth by outcomes alone; value the genuine effort you put in.
• Relationships require both communication and realism: Sometimes love and hard work aren’t enough—alignment matters.
• Everyone feels the pressure to be more: Life’s a messy, slow process; incremental steps are still progress.
• Humor helps: Whether it’s about shopping carts, insomnia, or job woes, laughter keeps the heaviness at bay.

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Try your best, be kind to yourself and others, and, as Lyle would say: Keep going.

Transcript

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[Therapy Gecko (host)]

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[Therapy Gecko (host)]

What's up dude? What's your name?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

My name's Grayson.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Grayson this is Lyle. What's going on, man? How you doing?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

Oh, not too much. I'm. I'm at work right now, avoiding going into my store and doing my job.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

What's the store? I mean, it's. Is it a specific store? Is it a chain?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

It's a chain.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

What's the store? Are you allowed to say, yeah, Kroger. Kroger Kroger's are mainly in the west coast. Yeah. Or like the. Not the west coast, the middle. The middle of the. I almost said the Middle east to the middle of a. The country. There are no Krogers in the Middle East. There's not. There is no. They don't have Kroger in Iraq.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

No, no, there are no Krogers in Iraq.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

What's it like working at the Kroger?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

It's fine. It's fine. I just stock the shelves and I listen to you and other podcasts and that's about it.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

What is the hardest part about the shelves? Stocking?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

Customers have no sense of spatial awareness or other people. A lot of times people will park a cart, like right in the middle of the aisle, walk away from it and, you know, take so much time and think and do whatever people do, but always ends up just kind of being a little frustrating as someone just doing a job.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Do people. Have you seen. There's this guy on YouTube. I kind of hate him, but he's. I can't look away because he just, he makes, he makes content. That I think is mean spirited, but it, it's undeniably interesting where he runs up to people and forces them in the parking lot to put their shopping carts back if they left them out. Do you see that? Have you ever seen this guy?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

I have seen that guy.

[Greg (caller 2)]

I think he's a little.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

Little heavy handed sometimes, but I, I kind of dig it.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

It's undeniably very interesting to watch. Does that really? Like, okay. Like, okay. As a guy, I'm sure you've had to put away plenty of shopping carts left in parking lots before, have you not?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

I've never had to do that, but I. A lot of people do that.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Okay, so as somebody who's close to that, do you. How evil of an action do you

[Grayson (caller 1)]

believe it to be to leave the cart in the lot and not put it like in the little slot?

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah,

[Grayson (caller 1)]

I don't think it's evil, but I definitely think it's a. Immoral is definitely not the word, but like, it's selfish almost. You know, it's.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

It's a.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

It's a lack of thought kind of action that is, like, without consideration for just the world happening around you, you know, leave as you left it. Yeah, you found it.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Do you believe it's an indica. Do you believe someone who does that?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

There's.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

There's an. It may indicate that they are capable of greater evil.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

Deep down.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Maybe.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

What's your name again?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

Grayson.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Grayson, is there any particular reason you called into the show today?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

I'm getting married in two weeks from today.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Congratulations.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

Thank you. And then I am moving two weeks after that, and the pressure from those two things is definitely starting to mount.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Mm. How old are you?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

29.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

How long have you and your homie been engaged? I don't know. I've never referred to. I didn't want to say partner, and I didn't want to say girlfriend, so I said homie, but you knew what I meant. How long have you guys been together?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

I know what you mean. Four years.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Four years. Cool. Are you excited to get married?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

I'm extremely excited. I'm very, very excited.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

That's awesome.

[Greg (caller 2)]

What.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Tell me where the pressure is coming from.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

We both are in different kinds of jobs, where she definitely picks up a lot more financially than I do, which has bled very heavily, like, into

[Greg (caller 2)]

the

[Grayson (caller 1)]

wedding, where it's, you know, far less than, like, 50, 50 split input, you know, financially and stuff like that. And then, you know, she just works a lot. She's a nurse, works 12, and so she just does a lot. And we're getting married, and then we're moving so that I can take a chance with my degree and try and take a. Try and take a chance with, you know, something that I actually want to do, which is wonderful because she's made a lot of, like, really major,

[Greg (caller 2)]

you

[Grayson (caller 1)]

know, life choices and sacrifice for me. She's kind of the one that's, like, made the idea, like, let's go somewhere more music friendly. My degree is in music for film, so we're going to Nashville so I can try and get something a little bit more in the industry or industry adjacent.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Interesting.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

But I find myself a lot struggling with, like, I don't know, making good on the sacrifice that she's making for me, you know, by. By giving me this opportunity to go. I feel a lot of pressure to actually get a job, which has not really been going well so far.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Okay.

[Greg (caller 2)]

Well, I don't know.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Well, all right. Actually, I have. Actually, I have a lot of questions, so, like, okay, so this lady, she's a nurse. She is. Do you guys, like, financially contribute Equally to the relationship or do you kind of contribute based on what each other makes?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

It's closer to based off what each other makes.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Okay. And like, do you feel. Because, like. Because sometimes, you know, someone's contributing more financially and like they're happy to and like, it's like, do you feel. Do you feel in your gut of guts that. That there is any kind of resentment from her about that?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

I don't know that it's resentment as much as it is. It is maybe, like, Maybe disappointment that I haven't fully, like, committed to the changes that I need to or.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

You know, haven't fully given my all or haven't necessarily, like, overcome like, my, like, fears of failure regarding it and stuff like that. You know, I have a lot of.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Okay.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

Like, creative self consciousness, you know, so she.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

So you feel. Not that she resent you, but that she. I mean, do you feel like she's disappointed in you for not trying?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

What's. So what's her deal? Like what, like, what's this woman's ideal life like? Does she. Is she like. Absolutely. Because is she, like, absolutely in love with. Where. Where are you?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Where.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

I mean, don't give me the. Don't give me your longitude and latitude, but what state are you in?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

Ohio.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

You're in Ohio. Okay. Is she. Is she in love with the great state of Ohio and she's in Ohio for. Die. Ohio. Till I die. Hi. Till I die?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

No, no, we're. We're trying to get out of here.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Okay. All right. So. So she's up. So is it. Well, so, like, is it like I'm leaving behind my friends and my family for you to pursue this dream in Nashville, or is it like, oh, Nashville, that sounds fun. Let's go to Nashville.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

It's kind of like, oh, that's fun. Let's go to Nashville. But for me, I can't. I can't help but interpret it as this greater sacrifice. You know what I mean? Both of us have like all of our families around here and stuff like that. And Nashville's not too far of a drive. Like, we'll be up here like, semi frequently. It's not like we won't see friends, we won't see family. You know, a lot of friends already live in other cities and other states and stuff like that. Just at this things in the game of life and whatnot.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

So

[Grayson (caller 1)]

I don't know. That's not really like a big concern. But I can't help but feel like, Like that she's giving me this opportunity and stuff like that is therefore indicative of, like,

[Johnny (caller 3)]

a.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

A loss of some other dream or idea of life that she might have had.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Okay, well, I. Oh, okay. I have a few things I want to say. First of all, getting. I don't want to be, like, negative about, like, the. I'll touch on that. I'll touch on the aspect later about, like. I mean, I don't know if you listen to the show, but I've ran a bunch of. I feel like I've talked a bunch about, like, the whole, you know, like, jobs in the industry thing. It feels like it's very, very, very, like, remote more than it is, like, location dependent. But that's another. I'm actually kind of more like, what. Like, again, like, what. What is this woman's dream life? Like, if she was like, what is. What does this woman want out of life? And in what way do you believe that you are an impediment to that? Like, like you've told me. All you've really told me right now is that she's Move. She's. She's moving to Nashville. Like, I want to know, like, what she. What you feel like she is sacrificing. Like, what's her dream life and in what way are you getting in the way of it? Or. Or in what way do you believe you're getting in the way of it?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

I mean, her core thing above anything is, like, you know, family. Like, okay, that's one thing. So I. I definitely kind of feel like, a little guilt, I guess. Maybe not guilt, but just that we're moving away from our. Our family and the people that we're closest to.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

But I.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

You know, I. That's kind of just the way of moving and getting out of where you are and whatnot.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

But. But she's. But she's.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

But her dream.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah, go ahead, Go ahead, Go ahead.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

I was gonna. I was gonna say, like, her dream life is, I guess, like, she wants to be more in a city where, like, it's happening, you know what I mean? Like, in la, in New York and Nashville, a Florida cutting, which is great.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

I think I feel it more like. I. I can't even, like, fully articulate it other than just kind of like, you know, she does financially support me ratioed, you know, more than, like, I am supporting her and stuff like that.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Okay.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

So I kind of feel like maybe not that she's sacrificing something for me, but that I really feel a pressure to.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yes.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

Pull it off, you know, to. To get to where I ideally want to because she's doing so much to allow me to take the chance to try, you know?

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah, I get what you mean. So. Well, okay, a few things is like, yeah, if her, if her dream is to go to the place where it's happening, it, that's it, then yes, Nashville is going to be a better time for her than Ohio. I, I, the angle of like, this move is a sacrifice for her. Like, I, I don't think that's, I think my, my, my assessment is that like, this woman clearly loves you. This woman clearly, like, has just like, this woman just clearly, as someone who loves you, has a vested interest in your well being and in your thriving. And you as a, as a person who loves this woman, have. You have a vested interest in wanting to show through action your gratefulness to her for the support that she's giving you out of the love that she has for her. And I think, I think both of those feelings are, are good, are respectable, valid feelings to have, but I don't think that they have to drive you insane. You know what I mean? I don't think that they have to cause you to spiral. I think you have a nice motivation and the, and I think you have lots of reasons to like, not off and like, you know, sig out all day or whatever it is. But, but the pressure of like, I need to get a job in music production in, in Nashville, I mean, I don't even know what that looks like, but I just, she just, she does it. By the way, I don't think this one, this woman just wants you to have your mo. Like you, you sound like, Tell me if this is a fair assessment, but it sounds like you're like you're looking for your mojo

[Grayson (caller 1)]

a little bit.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

You kind of looking for your, it sounds a little bit like you're looking for a mojo. This, this lady, she loves it. She wants you to have your mojo. She wants you to like, have the things in your life that make you feel like you're, you're thriving as a human being and contributing in the relationship. And, and even if, and the, and even if you can't find this specific thing, she just wants, she wants to probably see that you're trying and you want to see that you're trying, but if you go into this, like, outcome dependent, as they say, you're just gonna spiral and go insane. You know, if you go into the, if you go into this, like, I need to get a job in the music industry in Nashville or else my wife's Sacrifice. Of course my wife's horrible sacrifice of moving to. From Ohio to Nashville will be in vain. Then you just get used to spiral. You know what I mean? Like just, just put in, just put it like be like in. Be like input dependent, right? Be like, okay, I can't around like I gotta, I gotta apply to gigs. I gotta work on my music. Like when, you know, if I'm. If I'm like at home on my laptop, like let me do. And she's like making. She's like, has a long shift as a nurse. Like let me do the laundry, let me clean, let me do the chores, let me ask her if she needs anything. Like, like be like, be in service of her the best way that you can be by both being in service of yourself and being in service of her. The ways you can be like that's all shit that you should be like thinking about. Not like I need to get this job or else. If I, if I don't get this specific job, I'm fucked. Right? It's just like how, how can you keep like being in service to the relationship by like improving yourself as a human being and improving like. And you know, just like try like ways in which you as her partner can like bear the load of her existence, you know. So as long as you do those things, you'll be fine. Because I have bad news. You're probably gonna apply to a thousand cuz. Like. Cuz if you say to your. Because if you follow that method, there's like a way you can do it that, that'll make you and her feelings like you know it's happening, you're working towards it, you're doing. But if you. But, but you might send out a thousand applications to like work in like film production, music in Nashville. You might just. You might just get rejected from all of them. Like it's a crazy thing. Like that's very outcome independent. But like you could. But you can choose. I'll just. I'm repeating myself now. But you can choose like to be there for her when she needs it and be there for yourself when you need it. And that's a little bit more input dependent. And so as long as you're, as long as you're like the pr, like you should replace the pressure of like pressure and outcome independence into like what's a good, What's a good word? Put it into more like motivation for your inputs, right? Because it they. Because one is just like a spirally crazy feeling and the other one is like, oh, we got Something going. I'm gonna try to be, you know, in service of this. I'm rambling. I don't know why. I have an advice podcast. I hate giving advice. What did you think? Was that good advice?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

I. I think so, yes.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Okay.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

I think that's very helpful.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Okay. I don't know if it's the. Do I. Is this an advice podcast? Am I an idiot? What's your name again?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

No. Grayson.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Grayson. Did I. What. What were you gonna ask me if I watched?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

Oh, I was just in silence. I was gonna ask if you watched the Artemis 2 launch, the moon launch the other day.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

No, I didn't. How was it?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

It's incredible. Really cool to see. I wish I could go. Maybe I'll go down for the actual landing launch in a couple of years.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

See, I like chatting, like, so. Well, sometimes it's like a chat podcast. I like chat, but it depends on what I'm in the mood for. Today I was in the. Today. I think I gave advice today because I was in the advice. I was in the mood to do an advice podcast. Sometimes I'm in the mood to do a chat podcast. Sometimes I'm in the mood to do a journalistic story. It depends on what I'm in the mood for.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

Whatever you're in the mood for is always appreciated.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

You're. I. You're. You're a great guy. Dude, I'm be. I'm not even fucking right. You seem like a good dude. You really do. You're generous. You. I'm serious. I can tell in our conversation that you're generous just with how you are being in this conversation, listening to me right now. I can tell that you bring that energy into your relationships. I respect you.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

I appreciate that.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Do you. When you go grocery shopping, do you put your card away?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

I usually don't buy enough at one time to need a cart or. Yeah, I. I usually put my cart away, but I'll do it, like, inside the store, and I'll just, like, load up all the bags on my arms, you know, to bring to my car.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

What's the. What's the last thing you did for your. Your fiance?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

Bought her dinner last night.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

It's a good guy. Hell, yeah. When's the wedding?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

Two weeks from today. April 18th.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Nice. I'm excited for you guys. You sound like. You sound like. You get. See, that's. You give a. That's all that matters. I mean, I guess. I guess it's not all that matters, but it's one thing that matters a lot.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

Probably the first thing that matters.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Definitely the first thing that matters. All right. I'm gonna let you go, man. Unless there's a. Unless if there's anything else you wanted to. Wanted to say.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

Nothing in particular. Geck. Bless everyone on the Internet. Be well.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Hey, thank you, brother. Good luck, and mazel tova on the wedding. Good luck in Nashville, brother.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

Thank you.

[Greg (caller 2)]

Thank you, man.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

Have a good one.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

You too, man. Take care.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

You too.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

I like that guy. Can't you tell? Why do I feel like I have such a different. I wish. I wish everyone who listens to this podcast could listen. Could just. You could, like, be in my body while I'm recording it. They would have. They would have such a different experience of it that I do. I feel like I can tell. I just can tell. That was a good guy. All these call. I've been. I read the comments. I shouldn't, but I. All these calls, they feel. And sometimes I'll go back, I'll listen because I'm insane. I won't listen the whole thing. But, like, if I read a comment and they're like, you were doing this, I'll listen and I'll be like, oh, that sounded a lot like, I'll listen to a conversation. Like, oh, when I'm, like, listening to it, that sounds so different than how it felt to be in the conversation. You know what I mean? All right. Who cares? Sorry.

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[Keon Miller]

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[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Wow.

[Riley Wilson]

Calling me out already. But yes, last possible second. Every year.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Same.

[Keon Miller]

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[Therapy Gecko (host)]

hello?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Hey yeah, can you hear me?

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Hey, what's up man? What's your name?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

I'm gonna go by Johnny.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Johnny.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Johnny Rockets.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Johnny Bravo. Johnny.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Johnny Pinaponi. That's not real. Johnny. What's up man? What's going on? How's it. How's it hanging with you?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Insomnia man. Just like, like, you know, like, when you go to sleep, that's when all the thoughts you have hits. And, yeah, that keeps you awake. You can't sleep.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Dude, I've been in the past year since I had, like, a crazy existential crisis. I now must fall asleep with the TV on. Ever since that. It's been a full year. I have to fall asleep with tbr. I see. Dude, it's. I'm serious. Like, you. I can't. I love that you're laughing because you know exactly what I mean. Like, I can't. I've learned that, and I've, like, I should have been. I should have been doing this all along. Like, I'm not a big, like, background noise music guy up until, like, a year ago, and now I must always have something on. Are you like that?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

I, I, I love, I love white noise. Like, I'll have my fan on, or Sometimes I'll play YouTube on my phone.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

But I don't know, like. But sometimes, like, you know, like, anxiety and stuff, I'm just going through some right now. It's just, like, freaking me out.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Do you want to talk about it, or do you want to talk about something else? Last podcast, I said that to someone, and I didn't mean it. I wanted to talk about the thing. But this time.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

But this.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

But this time. Sometimes I. I'm. I'm gonna lie. I'm gonna be honest. Sometimes I ask that question, and I don't mean it. I usually want to talk about the thing, but this time, in this moment, I mean. Yeah, and I mean it. If you don't want to talk about it, we talk about whatever you want.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

That's what I called, man. That's what I called, like, I can't sleep. I saw your, like, you're doing the thing. I'm like, okay, sure, I'll call him and talk about it. But yeah. So, like, last Tuesday, my wife told me she wants to end, like, either end things or, like, just take a break from everything. And it was, like, all of a sudden for me because, like, the past few weeks before that, she was, like, perfectly happy, perfectly fine. I was like, what? And she's like, I'm just emotionally exhausted. You do these things. And it just, like, that's a lot for me. And, like, you have to, like, pull up her phone and tell me, like, what those things were. And she's right. She's right. Like, the stuff she said, she's right. And she brought it up last year, too. And she also acknowledged that I'm improving upon them, but, like, I haven't, like, completely gotten better about those. Like, I admit, like, she's still hurting because of it, but, like, So sorry. I'm kind of nervous. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

This is. No, no. Well, okay, so immediately questions. So she said, all right, so just to recap, she's perfectly. She's perfectly happy. Then she just hits you with the like, yo, I gotta leave because of. And then she pulls out her phone, and she has notes she wrote. She prepared for the conversation. She wrote down a list of these things which she had brought up to you a year ago. And then she. And then she is saying to you, I want to give you. I want to give you credit. I see that you've been trying to improve upon these things. I think you are, but it's not enough for me. And so I gotta go. That's.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

That's.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Was her. That's kind of what's.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

I, I, I feel like, yeah, that's. That's kind of the gist of it.

[Greg (caller 2)]

But I feel like for her, it's just.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

I think she has a hard time confronting me about these things. I try to be open and welcoming and be like, hey, like. But I still. I feel like she has a hard time with this, and it just sucks to know that.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Go on, hit me with the list. What's. What are the things?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

So one of them is like. So I'm. I kind of fixate on things, like, to the point where it's obsessive. Like, suppose if I'm doing the dishes, I'd be like, oh, the dishes need to be done this exact way. That's what. That way. It's the most optimized. I know it's fucking ridiculous. Like, I acknowledge that, but it's like a problem I'm trying to unlearn. So I'll be like, doing the dish. I'll be like, okay, the sick needs to turn on now. Then turn. Turn off now. So I don't. I don't waste too much water. I got to use this much dish soap so I don't waste it. And sometimes she'll be doing the dishes. I'll be chilling in the living room. And, like, I'll be watching her, which is extremely shitty. I know, but, like, again, like, that's like, a habit of, like, trying to unlearn it. Like, just that in everything where I fixate and I try to, like. And it's not coming from a place I am ending up controlling her, but it's not coming from a place of trying to control her. It's more so, like, I'm just, like, so fixated on, like, that being done that way and.

[Greg (caller 2)]

Yeah.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

How old are you?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

I'm 29.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Has this been a problem your entire life?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

I feel like this is. I. I. I think I did have fixations when I was younger, and I used to do certain things. Like. I don't know if fixation is the right word, but I had certain things I used to do. Like, when I was a kid, sometimes if I would put a book down, I would pick it up again, put it back down, and I would do it, like, four times exactly. Or five times exactly. Yeah, I did that for a bunch. I think OCD is the term for it.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah.

[Greg (caller 2)]

Yeah.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

But I used to do that growing up. And then throughout my college life, I was, like, a very messy guy, like, everywhere. But then I saw her stepmom a couple years ago, and I saw how she cleaned as she went, and then she hung out with everyone. She was socializing and then cleaning as she went and think. Something clicked in my brain where I was like, I can't be living like this, like, with this girl, and we're growing up. I can't be living like a dumbass. Like, I gotta grow up. And I think it became very intense after that point where I was, like, way on top of, like, keeping the house clean and everything. And I think, like, that's when this started happening.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

How long have you been with your wife? Like, including dating? Like. Yeah. How long you been with your wife?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Three years. Three years.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Three years, yeah. Okay. When do you first notice that this was a problem for you?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

When she brought it up last year. Mm.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

And is she okay with. So this. Is this. Is this the main thing, or. It's kind of like, is there more to. Is there more that she put on her notes at.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah, I'm trying to think. I think her note was more her. Just more like, like, her being, like, sharing her emotions with me, like, how she was being hurt. But I didn't get much points across it. I think it was more like there were certain things I would say certain times, and they were all, like, boiling up to a point where, like, she felt this exhausted. And I. I just wish, like, she would tell me more often, like, hey, what. What the fuck? Why did you say that? Or something? So I would be like, yeah, why the fuck did I say that? Rather than, like, it coming up to a point where, like, it all. All, like, piled up and it all came all at once.

[Greg (caller 2)]

Mm.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Hmm.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

So did you respond by being like, let's try to fix it?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah. Yeah, I did. I. I still am. And I have been afraid of therapy for the longest time. Funny. I'm calling the therapy guy. I know you're not a real therapist. I listen to you all the time and I'm afraid of therapy.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

I got the sense that you might not have been to therapy when you said, I think this might be something called ocd.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah. I don't know the terms.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Right.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, coming back to the conversation. Yeah, I've been afraid of therapy for the longest time. It was. It's not that I don't think it works. I know it works. It's more so the process of finding the right therapist. Like, what if someone is like, more like a yes man or someone is not compatible and I gotta go through multiple people?

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

I mean, therapy. Therapy's fine, but. Okay, so. I mean, no, I think you should go to. You should. You should. You should go to a real therapist. You should always go to. You should always go to a real therapist. You should always go to a real therapist. I just like in my purse. I just. In my personal. I mean, I like doing this. I like talking to people and doing. Doing fake. What? I don't know. Whatever this is, I like doing it. Just talking.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

In my own personal life. Therapy. Therapy's fine, but. Okay, when did she tell you this?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Last Tuesday.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Last Tuesday. Do you have kids?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

No.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Okay. What's your life like outside of your wife?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

So I'm trying to think of a way of saying this without giving out too much. I got a job.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

It's.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

It's. It's pretty chill. I enjoy it. It's in software. I like. I. I just like technology overall. Like, I'll be. I like tinkering with computers and stuff. What else? I like cooking. After my work, like, I go pick her up. We hang out at home sometimes. We take trips every now and then. Like, every few months, we'll go like. Like into a new city or go hiking somewhere. Yeah.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Mm. But I said, like, outside of your wife, like, do you have a lot of friends?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah, that's. That's another issue. My. All my friends are, like, pretty spread out now. They're like. Yeah, they're like in different parts. They're like, like five, six hours away from me.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What. What part of town are you in?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Like what city I'm in or.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

No, just state. I mean, you can give me the city if you want.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Oh, no, I'M in Texas.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Oh, you're in Texas.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Okay.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Are you okay? Okay. Okay. Okay.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Okay. What did. What. When she gave you this second round of notes or, or, or rather the first round of notes again.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

What?

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

What? What? Yeah, it was the second round. It was the second round notes.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah, because, like, remember, I told you she told me this last Tuesday and she brought it up, or, like, she, she first told me this a year ago. She had a note ready that time as well. Yeah. So this is, like, second note.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

But what I'm asking is, is this a. Okay. Yeah. Okay. No, you're right. It's a second round of notes. You. You improved. Meaning it's a second round of notes. So how did it make you feel? What did you, what was your reaction? How did you, like, what were the results of the reflection?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

I was surprised at first, and then I was like, no, I gotta, I gotta fix this. But then, like, I have a close friend. I talked to him about this. She also told me to, like, talk to that friend, to, like, reflect on this and everything. I talked to him about it. And, like, I, I have these issues, but if I, like, obviously, again, like, I am gonna go to therapy after having this discussion, I realized, like, even if, like, like, she does not want to continue anything with me, I'm not doing it just for her. I, I think I need to improve these things, like, anyway. But, yeah, other than that, What else did it make me feel? Yeah, I need to improve. I need to go to therapy. And I wish she would. I, I, I wished she would have told me this sooner so I could have worked on it, because I'm, I'm willing to work and improve, like, but if I don't know, like, what I am doing wrong, I can't fix it.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Okay, so. So you asked her if you can have another chance to improve, and, and she wasn't buying it.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah.

[Greg (caller 2)]

Yeah.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

So basically, by the end of it, what happened is, like, I, I told her, like, hey, I will improve and everything. And he was, like, ready to end things at that time. But then, like, she's. She was, like, surprised by the way I acted. She thought I would lash out. I'd be like, how could you do this to me? And everything. But she was surprised. Like, how, Like, I was receptive to it. And, like, I took the criticism, which is, like, odd in and of itself, because, like, every conversation we had, I tried to be receptive and, like, understand sometimes I would be defensive. I think I was defensive in this conversation too, at first, but then, like, as she kept on clarifying. I was, no, she's right. But yeah, just surprised about that.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Okay, so. So she said she's like, okay, I'll give you another chance. So she has given you another chance to show that you can improve yourself.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah, she. So she said she's gonna take this weekend, which is she's doing right now. She's gonna. A close friend of her picked her up. They went to her place, and she wants to, like, have some space and talk about this to have more clarity about this. And she's gonna talk to her therapist about this on Monday. Then she's gonna let me know what her, like, decision is on this after that.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah, I'm collecting my thoughts about this because I've. I've been in a similar. Ish situation where somebody is like, what? Well, no, just. I mean, I feel like everyone has been in a relationship, has been like a situation at some point where they're like, hey, there's this aspect of your existence that, like, bothers me. And I would like you to try to change it. And you go, like, okay, I'm going to make efforts to change it. And you think you're doing. You think you're doing a good job to change it. And you also have to decide the most important. By the way, the most important thing of this is like, you kind of. You. You have this, like, mirror of, like, which is like your part, your partner. And they're like, hey, we don't lie to, like, this aspect of you is, you know, I'm not happy about it. And you have to look at it. And if you look, you might look at it and go, ah, that's not that big of a deal. Or you might look at it and be like, I know, right? I hate that about me too. God, I suck. And if it's the second one, then it's a pretty easy, healthy thing to be like, oh, I gotta improve that. But I'm also. I'm also kind of. There's certain things where I'm like, listen, I can do. I have kind of like, I know my limits. And I'm like, okay, my. I've exhausted my limits of how good at this thing I think I can be. There's a lot of different. Because I don't know, man, in a relationship, there's like this billion different roles and things and design, like, so many variables at play. And it's like, listen, I can do this, that the other thing. I can be this. I could be that. I could do that. I could be that. I Can this. The other thing. And you have to also, you have to be able to look at this shit and be like, okay, so for the OCD thing, you have to look at it, be like, can I really change that? Or do I need. Like, do I need to just accept that it's part of me? And do I have to be like, okay, I accept that this is, like, I've done the best of my ability. This is where I'm at. Are you aligned on this? And if she goes, no, I just can't do it and just be like, okay, all right. This first fair. Which sucks ass.

[Greg (caller 2)]

But.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

But, like, do you think, like, I guess I'm like, do you think, whatever my part, like, if it's her, if she decides to end it at someone in the future, do you think it's fair to them, like, whoever my partner may be, that, like, I am, like, doing these to them and they're hurting?

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

No. Well, fair. Well, affair is a weird word. I mean, you're be like. Like you're talking. Like, I'm just using. As an example. I'm using, like, watching her do the dishes. Like, no, it, like, fair. I don't. I don't like the word fair, but, like, it, like, she does. If she's in this relationship and she's emotionally exhausted because you keep watching her to do the dishes. And then you. If you. If you look at your. Now, listen, if you look at yourself, you should pro. You should probably be able to look at yourself and go, it's probably not great. And you actually did that in this call. Even look at yourself and be like, it's not great that I watch my wife do dishes. I'd like to stop doing that. And you could probably find it within yourself to stop doing that, you know, and then if she sees you, like, if she actually notices that it's getting better, then great. But if she doesn't, and she keeps asking and she kind of has hit this point where she's like, you haven't improved enough for me, then, you know, yeah, sure. It's. It's. Yes. Fair to walk away. I mean, fair now. Yeah.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

The. The other thing is, I just wish you would have told me this earlier, like, rather than it boiling to a point where she's that hurt and exhausted. It just sucks that, like, it came to a point where she felt like that, and then she told me. Communication. Yeah. Yeah. Communication is very important in relationships.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Of course. No, that does. It is. No, I. I totally get what you mean. Um, and so, yeah, you're you're entitled to feel that way. And then she's going to go off and she's going to be like, well, do I want to keep making this work? You know, Do I want, do I love this guy enough that I want to keep making this work? And if the answer is yes, then great, then you can keep making it work. But if the answer is no, it's a, it's fucking hard. I mean, I don't want to sit here and I don't want to do a Kelsey esque bet on whether or not go for you again. But.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah, yeah,

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

but if, but if she doesn't, like, it's good. Just, just so you know, man, if she doesn't, I, it's gonna be like, it's devastating. But. Yeah, but it just wasn't, it just wasn't aligned for you. You know what I mean? It just wasn't. This just, it's. Yeah, yeah. So much relationships. Just about like, like a lot like. Dude, it's weird. Like there's, there's the kind of the two pillars of like alignment and work and sometimes you just have of and part. Also, like alignment means a billion different things. Alignment also means like, what are two people willing to put up with, right? Like what are two people willing to put up with? And you have to decide what you're willing to put up with and if you're willing. And everyone, everyone, there's no unless if you're amazing and perfect. No relationship has two people that don't put up with anything. So like.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

So like your wife is deciding what she's willing to put up with and she might, she might decide that there's too much that she doesn't want and she doesn't. And the, the amount that she loves you and wants to make it worth is not more than what she's willing to put up with. And that just means you're not aligned. It doesn't, it doesn't necessarily. I don't think you should take it as like a. I like just don't walk away thinking you're a broken person or that you used the years incorrectly. You know what I mean? It's just, it's just alignment and, and, and there's a certain level of alignment that work can just keep overcoming. But then there's a certain distance of alignment that work just fucking just can't, you know, go past her threshold. Yeah, go ahead. I'm rambling.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah. But yeah, no, no, you're fine. Like, this is all like, like solid. Like, like helps me like, think about this from a different perspective. I appreciate it, but

[Grayson (caller 1)]

I.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

So she. She is. I'm gonna like, she's gonna be back here Sunday, so tomorrow, and then she's gonna talk to her therapist on Monday. And I think she's gonna reflect on this a little bit, then she's going to give me her answer. But I was thinking on Sunday I could sit down with her and I could like, discuss some of the stuff I was discussing with you about, like, the communication where like, hey, if you like, brought this up earlier, I know it's like, like hard to bring it up over and over again, but if you were able to bring this up earlier, I would have. And be more precise, I would have been able to understand, like, hey, these are the things I'm doing wrong rather than it being. Get to a boiling point. Like, I don't know. I just like some of the stuff, like, I was thinking of bringing it up on Sunday before she talks to her therapist so she could like, process those things with her from, like, with these additional points. What do you think about that?

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah, of course. I mean, that's your. Yes, your piece. I mean, give your piece. That's your piece, right?

[Greg (caller 2)]

Give your piece.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, because. Yeah, because like, otherwise it's gonna. For like, it's gonna bother me for a while. Like, hey, like, he's not. Understand this aspect of.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Listen.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

This whole thing.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Listen, totally give your. I mean, give your. Give your piece. I mean, you don't want to lash out, right? And then you're not. You don't even sound like you're even. You don't even sound like lashing out. Yeah, you don't sound like lashing out is even anywhere near your. Your consciousness. So, I mean, speak your. That's the. Speak your piece and you have a fair peace. And then be. Be prepared. Be prepared for your piece to not be good enough. Be prepared for your piece to not be good enough. But also what you just said to me, where you were like, listen, I just want to make sure I went out with as much effort as I could so that I could sleep better at night. So do that. You know, Was this helpful in any way?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah, it was. It was very helpful. Like. Like I. Again, like, I talked to this with my friend, but like, I was still contemplating that if I was staying up all night. But it was nice talking to you about this.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

What time is it? Oh, you're in Texas. Oh, it's like 7:00am did you.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah.

[Greg (caller 2)]

Huh.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Did you sleep at all?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

What you say? No I did not. I was just staying up with my.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Thought this was Tuesday.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

It's, it's like, it's Saturday right now.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

No, I know Saturday, but this, bro, the breakup was Tuesday.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah, the, the conversation was on Tuesday, right? This, this is like the first, this was the first night that she left and I'm like, in bed alone with my thoughts.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Oh, you're in bed alone with your thoughts?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah, yeah. After Tuesday, he was still here with me. And then she left to go at her friends. She. Okay, she went yesterday to her friends. She's staying today. She's gonna come back tomorrow.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Oh, so this is your first night in bed without your wife in, like, years.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah, but like, I've been to, like, I've visited friends. Like, I've been. But I didn't have to dread these type of talks.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah. Okay. All right. Yeah. So of course you're up until 7:00 in the morning, bro. Do you know about melatonin? Do you know about melatonin gummies?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah, I've heard of them. I've never tried them. I've heard of them.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

All right, so I'm actually, I'm giving. I'm giving up my career as a fake therapist to become a fake psychologist. And I'm gonna say you should take. You should take some melatonin gummies, my friends. I love. You should take some melatonin gummies next time.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Okay, I'll.

[Greg (caller 2)]

I'll take.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

I'll try them.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Take no more than.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

I need some.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Take no more than two. Take no more than two melatonin gummies. I don't want to be the reason you overdose on melatonin gummies.

[Greg (caller 2)]

Okay?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

If I do that, I'm probably gonna, like, you know, like another fixation. Like, what is this? What are the side effects? How does this work? What is the science behind it? I'll probably research it for them, okay?

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Oh, you actually probably do you actually. Okay, you actually should. Okay, wait. You should actually see a psychologist because you might need to get medicated for something. I don't know. You didn't hear from me, but you should go see a person because. Yeah, I mean, well, cuz. Yeah, well, yeah, man, if you have anxiety. Why am I acting like this? Whatever, I'm. This is all. This is all personal experience I'm drawn from. Okay? If you have anxiety and you're having. And you're staying up until 7 o' clock in the morning, if you're anxiety, first of all, if you're anxiety, that means you're walking around being Anxious about stupid shit all day, and your brain's trained for that. And then when you actually like. And then once. And then now you actually have something to be anxious about. I mean, it'll drive you insane, of course. So you should probably. You probably. You should go see a psychiatrist. Get a little something just to help you.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

A therapist or a psychiatrist or what?

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yes.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

What's the steps?

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

You should see a therapist, and you should see a psychiatrist. Don't tell them that you spoke to a lizard on the phone and that's why you're here.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

We're lizard on the phone.

[Greg (caller 2)]

Yeah.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

But that's.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah. Do you. You got. Oh, you said your friends are spread out a lot. You got to be around. Also. Here's another thing is. I know we've been on the phone for a while, but. And I. I know we're on the phone for a while. I know I say this in literally every single episode of the podcast, but, like, you should probably find a community of other people to be around so that you're not.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Alone with your thoughts. That's a horrible way to live. You should find. Find some other people. Texas. You're in Texas. Texas has all kinds of shit. Do.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Some shit does. Yeah. But see, the thing is, like, her and I, we were. We live in one city, and we were thinking of moving to another city to get a house over there. And I still want to move to that city anyway, regardless of the outcome. So that's what I was like, oh, it's a few more months. Like, should I try building community here or should I just go there? Like, I have a friend over there, and I gave out so much. I don't want to give up more. But it's another city in Texas. One of the big cities.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Is it? What? It's one. Okay. That's all. Like, I mean, by the way. By the way, you. You spec. You specifying that you work a big tech job in Austin does not give out as much information about you as you think it does. But anyway.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Okay.

[Grayson (caller 1)]

Okay.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah. Okay. Whatever. Austin. I'm gonna pretend it's Austin. Austin is Austin, Houston. And it's all a billion things to do.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah. Yeah. The victory.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah. It. Yeah. You'll. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna hit you with the. You'll be fine, man. But I'm not gonna hit. I'm not gonna hit you with the. You'll be fine, but I will hit you with the. I see a path forward for you positively that, if followed, may potentially lead to you being fine.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

I. I hope so, too. I just like me right now, I'm like, I really want this to work, but I also know if I push it too much, it's actually unhealthy. So I'll try my best and see what happens.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

All right, man. Is there anything else you want to say to the people, the computer, before we go? Hey, thank you, man. I appreciate you. Have a good one. And get some. Get some. Get some. Either get some sleep or get some coffee and then try again at. And, you know.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah, I'll probably find that. Yeah.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

All right.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Take care.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Good luck, brother. Take care.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Bye.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

It's a nice guy. I don't. I don't think we can identify. We can identify him just based on the fact that he works a big tech job in Austin. What's going on? Lost. They have. They have guitars. Every city in the planet. I actually know I've. I used to be a big. Every place is the same person. I don't think that's true. I think different places are different. They have different. They have stuff. You know what I would say, actually, you know what? I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go on record on this podcast. I'm gonna say. I know I talk a lot about traveling. I'm gonna actually say travel. Travel narrows down your horizons. You know, if you've. I actually. You. If you've never been anywhere, then you get to live in the beautiful imagination of what could be. You know, don't shout, don't travel. And shatter your illusions of what could be by learning what is. What is will never be as good as what can be. So just stick with what could be. Just sit in your room all day, not doing anything, dreaming of what could be, and never shatter it by learning what is.

[Riley Wilson]

This is Riley Wilson and Keon Miller from ok, Storytime.

[Keon Miller]

Okay, honest question. Are you someone that does your taxes the minute you can or someone who waits until the last possible second?

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Wow.

[Riley Wilson]

Calling me out already. But yes, last possible second.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Every year, same.

[Keon Miller]

Which is why I'm very into anything that makes tax season easier.

[Riley Wilson]

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[Keon Miller]

With TurboTax Expert full service, you get matched with a real tax expert who does your taxes for you, start to finish.

[Riley Wilson]

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[Riley Wilson]

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[Riley Wilson]

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[Riley Wilson]

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Real time updates are available on the iOS mobile app.

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[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Hello there.

[Greg (caller 2)]

What's going on?

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

What's up, man? What's your name?

[Greg (caller 2)]

My name's Greg. How are you?

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Greg. Greg Turkington. Greg Geraldo. Rest in peace, Greg. Give me a Greg. Greg. Me.

[Greg (caller 2)]

I feel like there's a Greg Daniels somewhere out there.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Greg Daniels is the. The creator of the Office that. Finally someone names a Greg.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Greg Daniel. Do you have another one? Bonus. Bonus. If you don't have another Greg, that's okay. You got another.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Great.

[Greg (caller 2)]

My dad. My dad. He's a great.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

That's perfect.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Greg.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Greg. Do you have another human being? Name anyone. Doesn't have to be a Greg. Just name someone.

[Greg (caller 2)]

Bob.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Bob should be someone. It could just be like a name.

[Greg (caller 2)]

Bob Orton.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

There we go. Who's Bob?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

He is a.

[Greg (caller 2)]

So I'm a WWE fan. He is an old wrestler. He is the father of Randy Orton, if you know who that is.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Bob Orton Jr. Bob Orton Jr. American professional.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yep.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Retired wrestler, son of Bob Orton Jr, born in 1929 in Kansas City, Missouri. Wow. Well, okay, let's do a phone call. Let's. Let's do the actual thing. What's, what's your. What's. What's up, Greg? How's life?

[Greg (caller 2)]

It's good, man. I'm. I'm sitting at work right now on a. On a Saturday morning.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

I am.

[Greg (caller 2)]

I've got all my work done for the day, so I'm just chilling out. How's lockdown for you, Mr. Gecko?

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Life is actually going. It's going okay for me. I feel good. I'm trying to do more and I never feel like I'm doing enough. I always got to do more, so I'm doing.

[Greg (caller 2)]

Yeah, I kind of feel the same way. It's. You get kind of complacent in life, you know what I mean?

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

It's like, yeah, you can't do that.

[Greg (caller 2)]

Sometimes you get complacent. Yeah, that's. That's how I felt here recently.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Why have you been feeling complacent?

[Greg (caller 2)]

I've been at the same job for. Since 2018. I mean, this is the only job I've ever had outside of high school. And it's. I'm trying to get my. So I'm trying to drive a truck and I've got a disability and the state's making hour for me and so it's kind of like it's just pushing me back even further and further. And I just feel like I'm going to be stuck here forever, you know?

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

H What would you want to do were you. If you were not stuck there?

[Greg (caller 2)]

Honestly? Ideally, I would like to work in it, but just for, I guess, the time constraints of getting a better paying job quicker. I probably drive a truck. My dad owns a business. He owns a trucking company. And so I would like to take that over someday and who knows, hopefully retire early.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Nice, man. So, okay, so, yeah, typically the whole thing of like, oh, I should be doing more comes from something of like, comparing who you are now to who you could be. Like your kind of dream version of yourself, right? Like, what. Who is that? What does that look like?

[Greg (caller 2)]

Honestly, it's somebody who makes more money. I know it's probably such a cliche thing to say, but it's like money really does make the world go round. You know what I mean? It's like I'm. I'm 26 and unfortunately I still live with my parents. I save money, you know, and it's. It's not a bad situation. I love my parents, love them to death. I. I pay bills. I'm not just living rent free, you know, but, you know, it's. I'd like to, at some point here in the near future, live on my own. I feel like I'm in that. That stage of life where I'm ready to be on my own.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

And what job did you say you work now?

[Greg (caller 2)]

I basically do inventory for a flooring company.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

What. What would you try to do to make more money?

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Honestly?

[Greg (caller 2)]

I should go to school. I. I was. I was in school at one point for. For cyber security. And while at work, I fell and I hurt my leg. I dislocated my knee and torsion ligaments, and that. That just kind of set me back and I was. I was never really able to restart school. And so now I'm trying to, as far as plans go, should be getting

[Johnny (caller 3)]

a cdls in May.

[Greg (caller 2)]

That way I can drive a truck and start making a little more money. Little more money.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Cool. Cool. All right. So you have a plan?

[Greg (caller 2)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

All right.

[Greg (caller 2)]

Yeah. I'm not just planless, thankfully.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have this thing too where I'm like. I also, like, every day I'm like. I wish I was, like, getting more out of my days, you know, But I'm always. But there's always like a. But I always. I feel like. Like I'm like a snail. But we're. Yeah, we're getting there, you know, as long as it's like. As long as there's a vague direction. And I know that that Things are in the works that they're vaguely. We're vaguely moving forward in life somehow. Then I'm like, okay. It's when. It's when I'm like, huh? If I repeat the same day over and over again that it's this day I just had, I'm gonna be in the same place kind of thing.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Greg (caller 2)]

It's.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

It's.

[Greg (caller 2)]

I think it's one of those situations where you kind of have to learn from the things that you do in life.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah.

[Greg (caller 2)]

It's like, you know, you make a decision, you know, it's not getting you where you need to go. You can't make that decision again. You need to make the better choice the next time. You know, it's easier said than done, but it's. Ultimately, it is what needs to happen, in my opinion.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Do you have a good relationship with your parents that you live with?

[Greg (caller 2)]

I do. I have a very good relationship with them.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

All right.

[Greg (caller 2)]

So it's not like I love my parents.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so it's. Did they. Did they drive you crazy?

[Greg (caller 2)]

No, not really, man. I mean, it's cool. Like I said, I. I've, like, at the end of the day, I don't have an issue living at home. It's just a situation of I'm growing into being my own adult, you know, and it's like, I wanna. I would like to start my own life, you know?

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Greg (caller 2)]

By the way, I don't think ill will towards him.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

No, totally. I don't think there's any shame in. In doing it, you know, quote unquote, late. I mean. Well, I mean, there's a lot of shit, man. I think also, like, in. In most four. In a lot of, like, foreign countries, it's like, not like a lot of what we have in America. Of, like, when you turn 18, you. You're on your own. Like it. That's not how a lot of places operate. And it's becoming harder and harder in America for people to operate like that. I mean, there is still, like. I feel like there is still opportunity in America for, you know, dudes like you who are like, I. I want to, you know, achieve that goal. And, you know, I'm working towards it and this, that and the other way. Right. But it's like, it's understandably harder than I think it once was.

[Greg (caller 2)]

I would agree. I mean, it's a lot of things. Like I said, it comes down to money. Everything nowadays is so expensive. It's expensive to live, you know.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's crazy expensive to live.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah.

[Greg (caller 2)]

Yeah. And the. I guess my big thing is I don't. I don't really want to live with roommates. And so that doesn't. That one doesn't help the case any. And so in my opinion.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah.

[Greg (caller 2)]

And in my opinion, it. The American dream, you know, it's not to. It's not to live with a roommate until you go and get married. Now, there's nothing wrong with it, and I wouldn't be necessarily opposed to it. I mean, I've got a friend who's offered several times to let me move in with him.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Really?

[Greg (caller 2)]

I mean, it's my best friend, you know.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah.

[Greg (caller 2)]

Yeah.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Wait. Multiple.

[Greg (caller 2)]

Mainly just because.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah, go ahead, Go ahead. Yeah, I'll let you finish first. I'll ask my multiple questions.

[Greg (caller 2)]

I was saying mainly just because he.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

He also.

[Greg (caller 2)]

He doesn't think that he knows my family dynamic and everything. He knows. He knows it's good, but he also. He knows that I'm ready to get out on my own, you know, so he's off.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

He's all.

[Greg (caller 2)]

He's got his own place. He's living in an apartment for three, four years now, and he's offered to let me move in. So.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Okay, two things. What is. What is your. Because you're. You're correct in saying that there is no. Like, like, what is your American dream? What's your idea of that? For you?

[Greg (caller 2)]

For me, I want to be an entrepreneur. I don't know if it's necessarily. Entrepreneur would be the right word for me. I would like to take over my dad's business. You know, it's.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah, it's awesome.

[Greg (caller 2)]

It's one of the things where it's.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

It's a.

[Greg (caller 2)]

It's a good footing that's already. Already running. And he's. I mean, he's probably about 10 years to retirement.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Cool.

[Greg (caller 2)]

And I would like to take over that business and kind of get myself to the point where I could retire even earlier than he's able to, because I don't want to work till the day I die. You know what I mean?

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah.

[Greg (caller 2)]

I'd like to be able to take time off, live with my fam or see my family, live with them. Just live in the moment, you know, not have to worry about what bill is going to get paid the next day. Do I got to go to work in. In a couple days?

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah, yeah. No, I'm not worried about you. You sound like a smart. You sound. I don't. We've only spoken for 10 minutes. I'm not. When I do this to people, I hope people know I'm not like, I don't just. I don't. I don't like, just say shit that I don't mean. I'm. I'm getting a sense from you that you're a smart dude with integrity. So I think you'll be okay.

[Greg (caller 2)]

I'd like to. I like to think so. I like to think so. So I appreciate that. I really do.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Well, so I guess the question now is like, because you're gonna go to school, it's like, I don't know what your dad. What's your. I don't know what your dad's business is, but it's like, what can. What can you best do in the meantime to prepare yourself to be able to run it better?

[Greg (caller 2)]

I think first off, I need to. So it's a trucking company, and first off, I need to, I guess, learn the basics of trucking. So, I mean, I need to. I need to go through my classes with that, and I need to get a little bit of experience on the road.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

I need.

[Greg (caller 2)]

And then after, once I kind of get the basics down, I need to work with him a little bit and learn some of the back ends of the business. I need to. I need to learn how much it costs to, you know, upkeep a truck. I mean, it's. It's not cheap. I mean, I've seen it before. It ain't cheap. And then ideally, honestly, once I'm doing something like that, I would like to get some sort of degree in. In business of some sort. So even if. Even if it doesn't work out with my. With my dad's company, for whatever reason that may be, I still have something else I can fall back on where I don't just have to sit in a truck for. For 10 to 12 hours a day, you know?

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

So why are you. Okay, okay, this is my other question. Why are you so opposed to roommates?

[Greg (caller 2)]

Honestly, it's. So if it's somebody in the right situation, I wouldn't hate it. You know, like, if it's somebody that I'm friends with and everything. And now if I. If something happened, I got kicked out tomorrow and I had to go live with a roommate, I wouldn't hate it. But thing with me, I just. I would like to live on my own. If I'm not married or if I'm not dating anybody, you know, I would like to have a place that I can call my own. I don't have to, I guess, tiptoe around other people. You know, It. I made a. It may not make the most sense, I don't know, but I guess in my head I would just. I would prefer to be able to have my own place, you know, to truly make it my own.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Mm. Mm. Hmm.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Do you get lonely? Do you have friends like it sounds like? Do you spend a lot of time with your family? Because I guess I would only be worried that you, like. It's kind of. It could be kind of lonely just like living by yourself if you don't have any other thing that you're doing regular, regularly. Yeah.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah. I've got.

[Greg (caller 2)]

So I've got friends and everything and like my best friend, I've. I went. I mean, I've known him since elementary school. We worked the same job here for five years. And then I'm at my current job and we live. As of right now, we live less than a mile apart from each other. And every weekend we would. We go out and do stuff together. And every weekend that we're off of work, we. We go out, we do stuff together. And then I. I play. I play tc, so I play Counter Strike. And so I've got friends. One of my. Two of my best friends. One lives in Iowa, one. One lives in Las Vegas. And I mean, we talk every day on Discord and everything.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Greg (caller 2)]

While playing. While playing Counter Strike and so cool.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

No. Okay, I got you. Yeah, you seem like. You seem like you're chilling on that front.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's.

[Greg (caller 2)]

It's not too big of a concern for me. I don't believe.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Bro, I think you're gonna be fine, man. But do. What's your name again?

[Greg (caller 2)]

Name's Greg.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Greg. Oh, fuck. Oh, go. Wait. You're the fucking. You. At the beginning of the. Sorry, I'm. I'm insane. At the beginning of this phone call, you named some Greg's and then I asked you to name person. You named a person?

[Grayson (caller 1)]

Yep.

[Greg (caller 2)]

Yep, that's me.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

You have. Do you want. You're the only person who's been able to do that successfully. Do you know that?

[Greg (caller 2)]

Yeah, I. Yeah. I've been listening to podcast and I want you. I've been ready for this whenever.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

I always.

[Greg (caller 2)]

I always hear you say that question and people always fail it.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Dude, you have the sauce.

[Greg (caller 2)]

I've been waiting for my time.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Greg. Dude, I'm a Greg. I'm a Greg fan now. I'm rooting for Greg. You're fine. You got Greg. You have this. You got. You got the salt, you got the Sauce, brother. You got the sauce. I'm not worried about you. I'm not worried about you. Is there anything else you want to say to the folks of the computer before we go?

[Greg (caller 2)]

No, but I do have one for you, please. So you got your tour coming up?

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

I do.

[Greg (caller 2)]

I don't know if it's too late to add shows, but Chattanooga, Tennessee, you can ask.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

You can have to come. I just want to. I'm like, you know what? Listen, if I was like, listen, if I was like, ultra star power, I'd go everywhere, but I'm like, you know, I gotta kind of. It's got. It's the thing where I'm like, I'd rather. I'd rather just like, do one show in Tennessee and just have the folks who want to come drive. Like, it's just easier. And it's like, that's the Tennessee gig, you know? I hope. I hope you'll be there. If. Hey, you know, if you want to come.

[Greg (caller 2)]

If you want to come to.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

If you want to come, send me a. Send an email. Send an email to. Send an email to therapy gecko, mailmail.com and give me some. Give me some proof that it's great. I'll. Because I don't want some. Some random people might message me being like, Greg, but I'll be able to tell who the real Greg is. I'll be able to tell the real fucking Greg. So just send me. Send me an email. I'll put. I'll give you. I'll give you a ticket if you want to come.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Oh, sweet.

[Greg (caller 2)]

Yeah, I'll probably come to the one. Atlanta. I'm closer to landing.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

Okay, perfect. All right, I'll give you. I'll give you a ticket. Either. Either one. Let me know. Send. Send me an email.

[Greg (caller 2)]

Appreciate that, brother. Yes, sir. Thank you.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

For sure. For sure, man. Hey, have a good one. And I'll. I'll see you in Atlanta, hopefully, if you want.

[Johnny (caller 3)]

Thank you, brother.

[Greg (caller 2)]

You too. Have a good one.

[Therapy Gecko (host)]

All right, take care. Bye. Bye. Don't email me if. Pretending like you're Greg. If you're not Greg. I will be able. I can tell. I can tell that shit also. Just don't do it. I don't. You know what? I have actually pretty nice fans who listen to the show. I actually don't think anyone's gonna do that. Anyway. That's the podcast that was Therapy Gecko. Please go. It is true. I am going on tour. I'm going to 30 cities across America for the fourth time in a row. I love tour and I love running around. I love doing these shows, doing the Gecko Therapy. I got some material planned. I got some stories that I'll be telling about my travels through the universe and it'll be fun, man. It'll be a good time. Go to therapy gecko tour.com go to therapy gecko tour.com and get tickets or check the link in the episode description. I put it at the top of every episode to go to therapy gecko tour.com I just did the for I talked about this already, but I did the first show in Tokyo a few weeks ago that was really fucking fun. We're doing San Diego and Los Angeles soon as part of the Netflix is a Joke Festival. That'll be fun. And it's always fun to keep going and not it's fun not to kill yourself. It's fun to keep going, experiencing life, doing things. That's it. Keep trying. Keep trying folks.

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[Therapy Gecko (host)]

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[Therapy Gecko (host)]

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[Therapy Gecko (host)]

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[Therapy Gecko (host)]

this is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.