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Matt Rogers
This is Matt Rogers from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.
Bowen Yang
Save the date for your cordially invited a hilarious new wedding comedy starring Will Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon.
Matt Rogers
Chaos ensues when two weddings are accidentally booked on the same weekend at the same venue. Uh oh.
Bowen Yang
Will Ferrell plays the father of the bride and Reese Witherspoon is the sister of the other bride and they go head to head to make sure the ones they love get their special day together on screen.
Matt Rogers
For the first time ever, it's Ferrell versus Witherspoon. Chaos comedy and alligator wrestling await you.
Bowen Yang
In watch January 30th on Prime Video.
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Gecko
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Gecko
Hello.
Leslie
Hi.
Gecko
Hi. What's your name?
Leslie
Is it okay if I remain anonymous? I could give you like a fake name.
Gecko
Yeah, sure. I'm gonna call you Leslie. I think that's what's up Leslie, how you doing?
Leslie
I'm great. How are you doing?
Gecko
I'm also doing pretty good. I'm having fun. I'm enjoying talking to people on the phone and I'm good. I'm. I'm giddy to hear whatever it is that you want to talk about today.
Leslie
Well, I have a question. Is like, is anything off limits that I talk about? Is there anything that I can't talk about that would like, hurt the show or like, anything like that?
Gecko
I, you know, that's a tough question cuz I feel like for something like that, I feel like, I feel like that's a, you know it when you see it kind of a thing. I mean, fair enough.
Leslie
I want to talk about a weird series of sexual encounters I had whenever I was 19 because I haven't really ever got to talk to anybody about them and it's really been bored in my brain.
Gecko
It's.
Leslie
Why not talk to Internet peoples?
Gecko
I'm gonna. So listen, the way you are presenting this to me right now is making me think that you, you would like to talk about some stuff that sounds like it would be territory most suited for a, a non gecko therapist. That's the vibe.
Leslie
Oh, it's nothing like bad bad. I, it wasn't, it was just some whack. Just weird. Weird. It was just something weird.
Gecko
Okay.
Leslie
I don't have, okay, any friends or anybody that I could be like, oh my God, you're never gonna freaking believe this right here.
Gecko
Okay, okay.
Leslie
But if I get going and you feel like it's not appropriate, you know, obviously you're in charge. You could hang up the phone any moment.
Gecko
Okay, you know what? You know what? What's up, Leslie? What's up?
Leslie
Okay, so back whenever I was 19, I got kicked out of the house. So I started living with some roommates and I didn't have any rules and I was out on my own for the first time. And I grew up real sheltered, so it's kind of oblivious to a lot of shit, right? Well, some people that I had met, you know, shortly after I got kicked out were like, yo, there's this website you should go on because you can meet all these people to boink. And I was like, bet. So I got on there and there was this 45 year old man that lived in my area. And I should say that at that time that dude was older than my parents. And you know, 19 year old brain, you're on hormones and so you're like, yes, let's do that. Because that feels like a no no. Why not? But I was of age. Everyone was of age. Nothing illegal happened. But so I meet up with this guy in, like, a public park, right? And am I still on?
Gecko
Yeah. Yeah.
Leslie
Okay. I'm sorry. I didn't. I thought I got hung up on. Okay, so we needed to be public.
Gecko
I feel. No, no, no, I'm not. I, I, I, I appreciate you giving me the, the permission to randomly hang up on you, but I won't do that.
Leslie
Okay. So I meet up with him in a public park, and I should say, the website we were on, you don't. You don't post your face. You post other things, right? So I have no clue what this dude looks like. And I pull up and he looks. Have you ever seen Puss in Boots? He looked like Humpty Dumpty pot. Like, straight up, like egg with legs. And I was kind of put off by it, but the dude was like, I have pot. And I was like, ooh, why not? And so we go back to his place, and he opens up the door, and it was a freaking hoarder house, like, straight up. And he tried to cover by it by saying, oh, I, I buy stuff and sell it on ebay. Just don't worry about it. And I was like, you're a hoarder. But whatever, I' here, I'm committed. Let's get this over with, right? And so we get down to business. And it started off normal, and then he was like, hey, you want to try something crazy? And I was high, so I was like, yeah, why not? Let's go. And he pulls out this pink duffel bag from under his nasty ass bed. And it's full of, you know, you know, odds and ends. But the craziest shit that he pulled out was a bamboo cane. I want you to.
Gecko
A bamboo cane?
Leslie
Yeah. Like, he had gone out into the wood. He said he made it himself. He went out, like, into the woods, because bamboo grows where I live, like, just out in the wild.
Gecko
This man. This man crafted an object for you to shove up his ass.
Leslie
It wasn't his ass. It was the front part.
Gecko
What?
Leslie
Yeah.
Gecko
He wanted you to hear what sounding is sound. Okay. This man asked you to shove a bamboo cane into his dick hole?
Leslie
Yeah. Well, I will say it's not like a walking cane. It was more like something that you would use. Like, I don't know how you were raised, but whenever I grew up, my parents popped me with switches and stuff. And it was somewhere around there. Like, it was, it was, it was still pretty. It was scarily big for what I was doing with it.
Gecko
What the Is, like, what's the circumference of this thing?
Leslie
Oh, man, I don't know. Maybe, like, not quite an inch, but, like, it was pretty thick, like, the size of, like, a regular pencil. Like your standard number two pencil.
Gecko
Mmm. Okay. Oh, okay. This is the size of a pencil. Okay. All right. I can see that fitting in a dick hole. There we go. All right. So did you do it? Did you. Did you. Did you. Did you shove this cane and this guy's dick hole?
Leslie
Yeah, I did. Yes, I did. And I felt real icky doing it, but he was like, it's fine. Just I'll give you a bunch of pot when this is over with. And I was like, okay, whatever. But that's not the worst part. So after that, he. Sorry. I get, like, bleh thinking about it. But he was like, hey, I want you to. He wanted me to shove tic tacs down there and crunch them with my.
Gecko
Teeth into his dickhole.
Leslie
So. Mm. And so I did it. I shoved, like, four of them down there.
Gecko
You shoved four tic tacs into this guy's dick hole and then chewed.
Leslie
Yeah, and. Yeah, and crunched him. Like, crunched on his pp. And it made me feel really gross because I was scared. I was hurting him. And then he was like, no, you can do it harder. And I was like. And I should. I need. I'm sorry. A little bit of context. The only reason that I met up with this guy is because I saw his picture on the site, right. Which was of his pee pee, and it was real large, like a monster can, which didn't fit his looks at all. Very off putting. That Humpty Dumpty has, like, a. Like, freaking schlong.
Gecko
How did they fit in? Like, how did they. How did you fit four tic tacs into this guy's?
Leslie
Very carefully.
Gecko
Where did. Like, what. How did he get. How did he get him out of there?
Leslie
I told you, I crunched him up. And so then he went and peed after, and that got him out, I guess.
Gecko
Le. Let. Les. Leslie, real quick, just before we go any further with this.
Leslie
Okay.
Gecko
And again, human being. A human being. Please. Like. Like, forget about the pot. Like, just you, like. Leslie.
Leslie
Yeah.
Gecko
Are you with me right now?
Leslie
I swear to God I'm not.
Gecko
Okay. Okay. All right, so. So go, go. Go ahead. Keep going if you want to keep going.
Leslie
I left, and I used to work at a Domino's, and so I walked into the Domino's where I worked and I told my boss, it was also my roommate, that I was probably gonna need to take the next day off of work to like recuperate the shit that just happened. And then I went home. I didn't tell him all the details because I didn't feel comfortable. I just said I needed some time and I went home and I smoked like a whole half ounce of pot. And I think I slept for like two days. And I just try not to think about it, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately, especially since I'm on that site. And he reached out to me again recently, wanting me to hook up.
Gecko
You're. You're. You're back. You're back on the website.
Leslie
Oh, I never left.
Gecko
Can I. How old are you now?
Leslie
26.
Gecko
Okay. All right. So this was this tic tac. Oh, so this was like seven years ago?
Leslie
Yeah, yeah. This happened a long time ago.
Gecko
That tic tac thing is what is maybe one of the most. That tic tac thing is probably. It's at least that tic tac thing. I know like, I know I've thrown. I know I've thrown this around a lot. That tic tac thing is probably top three most up things I have heard doing this.
Leslie
I'm glad I could contribute, but hey, just imagine how I felt.
Gecko
Of course. Of course.
Leslie
So you're still honest about it, but it's so up. Like that's.
Gecko
Yeah. How you. How you doing?
Leslie
Oh, I'm good now. I calm down.
Gecko
Okay.
Leslie
I'm married with kids now.
Gecko
Are you serious?
Leslie
Yeah.
Gecko
You're married with kids now?
Leslie
Mm.
Gecko
Wait, so why are you still on the website?
Leslie
Me and my husband are both on it.
Gecko
Oh, yeah. Did you meet your husband?
Leslie
Yeah, I did actually. I met him on that site.
Gecko
Really?
Leslie
He was. He was supposed to be a one night stand, but I guess I was just too good.
Gecko
How long have you and your husband been together?
Leslie
A little bit over five years.
Gecko
Wow, that's awesome. How old are your kids?
Leslie
Got an eight year old, a five year old, and a seven month old. Okay, wait, I should clarify. Two of those are step kids.
Gecko
Oh, okay.
Leslie
But I consider them my children because I've been around the five year old. I mean, I've been around since he was a baby because my husband and his ex wife, they divorced while she, like before she even found out she was pregnant with him.
Gecko
What. What's this website?
Leslie
It's called FetLife. It's not paid or anything. It's just like. Oh, okay. I didn't Know, some people aren't super familiar with it, at least not where I'm from.
Gecko
Well, I are. Have you ever talked to a real therapist about any of this?
Leslie
Yeah, I did. I went to therapy for, like, two or three years, but that wasn't really one of the things that I talked about. Way more traumatic shit's happened to me than that. I look at it as, like, a funny little story, but that was also really up because I was young and dumb and made bad decisions. I just did it because why not? You only live once was my mindset at the time.
Gecko
How is. How's being a mom?
Leslie
Way, way different. Way different.
Gecko
Is it good?
Leslie
It's awesome, though. Yeah. It's real rewarding. It's different because. Well, I just. I grew up the oldest of 10 siblings, and so whenever I got out of that, I was like, I don't want to have kids. I've already raised, like, five kids. And. And then I. I actually got told I was infertile and thought I couldn't have kids for a long time. And I was like, sweet. I only have to pay for fucking birth control.
Gecko
Sure.
Leslie
And then I guess. And then just one day, I just guess my ovaries were like, you know what? We're going to do our jobs and release an ache.
Gecko
And also, it was an accident.
Leslie
Oh, 100%. But I love it. Like a happy accident, you know, that was actually my birth announcement was Bob Ross. It's like, there are no mistakes, just happy little accidents.
Gecko
Well, that's nice. I'm glad. I'm glad to hear that. You. You sound like you are happy and enjoying life.
Leslie
Oh, yeah.
Gecko
That's good. That's good.
Leslie
I'm sorry I gave you possibly secondhand ick from that.
Gecko
Well, look, man, you know. You know, look, you. You know. You know.
Leslie
Yeah.
Gecko
Yeah.
Leslie
You know, the worst part is that after that happened, I got really into the dominatrix world, and I did that as like, a profession for, like, two or three years. And that's still the most up thing anyone has asked me to do to them. And he let me keep the cane, and I kept it for a long time. It was like a trophy.
Gecko
Oh, wait, he. You. You kept the cane?
Leslie
Yeah.
Gecko
Oh, wow. What do you.
Leslie
He let me keep it? No. So whenever I first had it, this is really up. But I would. Would smack people with it.
Gecko
You gotta. You gotta keep that thing under, like, contamination, my friend.
Leslie
Oh. I sanitized every loving out of that thing. I got home with it. But I was like, you know what? I worked Pretty damn hard for this, so I guess I'm gonna keep it. And then. And then I met my husband, and he was like, what's this? And I told him, and he was like, we should throw that shit away.
Gecko
So you and your husband are together on this. On this website? Are you guys, like, looking for, like, a third, or are you guys having your own independent, fun experiences.
Leslie
For right now? Mainly just everything that we do, we do together. So it could be a third, it could be other couples. More like a swinger situation. But it's all together. Like, we don't do anything without the other person.
Gecko
Oh, okay. So you do everything together.
Eric
Yeah.
Leslie
It'S been. It's been pretty fun because I was worried about it because, you know, things like that in relationships can be messy, but we've been really open and honest with each other about it. So there have been, like, zero, like, you know, problems with it.
Gecko
Yeah, well, I guess that's kind of the nice thing about having met your husband on a website like that is, like, it seems as though it attracts other people who are, quote, unquote, down.
Leslie
Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Met a lot of freaking crazies on there, though. But that's also because of where I live, because you said you're familiar with the site, so it's mainly just you can look for people in your local area. And I live in, like, the bumfuck, middle of nowhere, meth head town, so a lot of crazies on there.
Gecko
You said you don't have a lot.
Leslie
Of public officials, too.
Gecko
What? You said that you don't have, like. You haven't told these stories to, like, your friends or anything.
Leslie
No, I. I told my husband, obviously, because he found the cane and because, you know, he deserved to know my. My past before he put a ring on it. But no, I was too embarrassed to tell anybody else.
Gecko
Well, yeah, the. That tic tac thing, it definitely is one of the top three. There was a guy who told a story about a lady killing a dog in her car and that. It's either that or the tic tac thing.
Leslie
I don't know. I feel like it was. The dog is worse because the dog is innocent and all this, and that guy is a freak, so he kind of deserved it.
Gecko
Yeah. Yeah. Do you? I do. You have. I don't know if you listen to the podcast, but have you heard that dog thing?
Leslie
No, I haven't. I do listen to your podcast, just not super often because, you know, Mama 3. I'm busy a lot, but I listen whenever I get a notification on Twitch.
Gecko
You have, you have three kids?
Leslie
Well, like I said, I got two step kids and then I have my seven month old, so.
Gecko
Right, right.
Leslie
And they stay with. And my step kids stay with us for like two weeks at a time.
Gecko
Cool.
Leslie
And, and I'm really close with them and bonded, so I consider myself, you know, another parent. I know I'm not their mom and I didn't carry them and push them out, but I love them just the same.
Gecko
Are you, are you, are you happy?
Leslie
Yeah, I mean, for the most part, you know, but I feel like that's everyone.
Gecko
Yeah, that's great. I don't think that is everyone. Well, I mean, like, I think, I.
Leslie
Think goes through that, but yeah.
Gecko
Well, I think if you can answer. Well, if you, if you can answer that question with yes, for the most part, you're in the top 1% of humanity, I think.
Leslie
Cool.
Gecko
So doing good. Doing good. Thank you for sharing. Leslie. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Leslie
Make good choices about who you have sex with whenever you are 19. That's the last thing I want to say. Thank you for having me.
Gecko
God bless you, Leslie. Take care.
Leslie
Bye.
Gecko
I do not have any post call thoughts for that. Hello.
Eric
What's up, man?
Gecko
How you doing, buddy? What's your name?
Eric
My name is Eric.
Gecko
Eric. What is. What do you do? What do you, what are you, what are you doing? What are you doing right now?
Eric
Making a cup of coffee, playing some World of Warcraft, Waiting on that PVP queue.
Gecko
Okay. All right. Are you gonna, Are you gonna talk to me while you play World of Warcraft?
Eric
No. Right now I'm sitting here afk, drinking my coffee. My dude.
Gecko
Cool. It is an honor to be AK while you are afk, because I am. I am currently ak. What's up? What's up? What's up, buddy? How you doing? How's life, man?
Eric
Life's been a train ride, dude. Last two years have been pretty hectic, man. I got a DUI and they waited about a year to serve the warrant and lost my license after that. And it's just been a little bit downhill on the, the journey to being sober since then.
Gecko
Where, where are you at on the journey right now?
Eric
I'm about four, three and a half, Almost four months sober. Sober.
Gecko
Okay. How you liking it?
Eric
It's very depressing realizing that all the people you've surrounded yourself with are self destructive and not there for you when you need them.
Gecko
Yeah. Yeah. Do you, did you have like Drinking buddies who like, once you got sober, you, you couldn't I guess relate to them or, or maybe they were resentful of you or anything like that.
Eric
Not necessarily resentful. We just kind of all went ways and it was pretty much everybody I've grown up with since being a teenager. Man, I'm 30 years old now and it was just everywhere I went and everywhere around me it was drugs, partying and drinking. And after 13, 14 years it took its toll and I became a die hard alcoholic and couldn't live without my booze.
Gecko
Yeah, so what, what was it that made you want to quit?
Eric
Well, I was on probation from the DUI that they served the war on and well, still am on probation and night of drinking with my friends ended in a fight and argument and my girlfriend at the time and I, we both got arrested me for violating her for being drunk and disorderly in public while I was being arrested and it led to us separating. She got out of jail the next day. But I spent a month in there waiting for the judge getting my probation back. And yeah, we, we haven't really spoke since then and since I spent a month in there, so it was my first month sober and it just gave me a lot of clarity on the situation and my environments I was putting myself in. And it's, it's just been. Not being, not being able to re. Reconcile or apologize to a lot of people has been hard to say the least.
Gecko
Yeah, tell me more about like the, that clarity if you want.
Eric
Well, you, you see everything you did wrong when people, people telling you, hey, you, you need to slow down or sober up. And then you realize how far in they are. And you see people more talking to themselves when they're telling you to get clean and sober and do better for yourself than they'll ever speak to themselves in the mirror. And you just wish you could help them as much as. But you know, I've reached that part of my journey myself that I've lost enough to where I want to go forth with it. I just wonder how long until some of my friends finally get to that point, you know?
Gecko
Yeah, I mean it's tough because like it's. Well, it's tough because you just, you. It's such a thing that's out of your hands.
Eric
Right.
Gecko
Well, what's your journey like? I mean, I guess. Well, so it's been four months. Yeah. In, in those four months, I would guess that after realizing that this group of friends that you have does not align with the, the lifestyle you are Attempting to create for yourself now, are you trying to find a new group of friends or a new lifestyle? Because it's weird cuz like if. If your whole life is one thing and you're like, oh, this is not suiting me anymore, I'm gonna get rid of it. You will, yeah. You will be like totally bored and depressed because everything you fucking knew is gone. And there's nothing else but right, man, right.
Eric
Can't go to the bar anymore. Just have fun, watch the game. You see it as a problem for yourself. You're there too long and it's, it's hard to find new people. You, you've been around with the same people since middle school and high school and everybody you knew, you met through them or because of them or with them. And it's been really hard to put myself back out there. I have definitely, I, I've got on Facebook. Dating just to communicate with people is such a toxic place. But try to start conversations and stuff and try to meet new people, I suppose. But I'm more afraid to even leave my house nowadays, honestly. If it's not trying to find a job or make some stick to myself, then I'm not really putting myself out there to be around anybody.
Gecko
Yeah, it's a problem in the long run. Yeah, yeah, it's exhausting. It's fucking easy. I mean, are you, when you say Facebook dating, are you like trying to find like a new gf? Are you trying to find friends?
Eric
Well, they have like the friendship option on there and I'm just open the conversation, get me out of my own box. You know, I'm not, I'm not really the, the person I lost a couple months ago, really I really latched on to and really had a lot of plans with, so losing them kind of like put me in a box, so to say, to where I'm closing myself off from that kind of connection and just trying to make a new group of friends, someone I could go play DND with if that, or even game night just to go play some cards, some magic or something, you know, and it's not really easy to find those groups of people, and especially not a sober one. Nowadays we've all got our problems or we all got our clicks and our niches and timings. An issue being an adult, sadly. So it's. I found it easier to stick myself in home and just play Solitaire or PvP on Warcraft, you know, and then waste my time and put myself out there to get hurt again.
Gecko
Yeah. Yeah. Well, what I, I Mean, if I can give you my optimistic take on this because yeah, it's like, it's a lot of like building a life that you like and a community that you like is a lot of fucking work. And it takes a lot of time and a lot of effort and a lot of disappointment because you're, you're particularly working in the realm of things you can't control. Right. When you're trying to build a community or trying to make friends. Because there's a lot of your plan. Yeah.
Eric
Cuz you're being political.
Gecko
Yeah. You're playing politics, not being political. You're trying to like get other people to join your life. And that's hard because you don't, you don't have control over other people. But I guess you have control over like how you go about doing it and whether or not you put the effort into doing it. But what I, my optimistic point of this is like you said, you said some great stuff just now. He's like, you know, you're in the dnd, you're into board games and you're all this, and you're into all this shit and this is like land shit, you know, this is like. Well, can I ask what we're part of the universe you live in.
Eric
I'm in North Florida.
Gecko
In North Florida. You tell me. You tell me. You don't think you can go on the fucking Internet and assemble a group of 6 other nerdy lonely 30 year old men to play DND with?
Eric
I'm sure it's possible, man, but I'm.
Gecko
Sure, I'm sure they exist.
Eric
Trust somebody in order to, you know, to walk into someone's home or allow them to walk into your home after going through so much is just a new journey I'm on, I suppose.
Gecko
Yeah, yeah. It takes some time. I'm sorry, you said impress somebody.
Eric
I forget. Not impress, I forget the terminology I used. I'm sorry. To trust somebody to be able to.
Gecko
Walk to their home or to allow.
Eric
Them walk in your home. It's just that, no, like for leaving the table where you knew everybody had to sit down at a table full of strangers. It's full, it's riddled with anxiety, you know, you, it's a scary thing even at 30 years old.
Gecko
Yeah, yeah. You know, it fucking sucks. Yeah, it, it fucking sucks. It's weird, man. There's like, there are, it's sort of a tale as old as time that there are like pros and cons of being alone and closing yourself off and then pros and cons of allowing other people to come into your life. And it's a very personal decision as to which of those things you're willing to put up with. Like, nothing's free. Nothing's none of these. There's nothing's ever like problem list. You could even be, you could be in the most happy fucking marriage or a group of friends and that you're putting up with something and you just decide what you want to put up with and what you want to expose yourself to. Because you can go, you can say to your, you can say to yourself, you know what? I've weighed the pros and cons and I would rather sit at home for the next 50 years of my life playing World of Warcraft and feeling safe and comfortable. And I would rather, I would rather deal with loneliness and depression in, in exchange for this safety. Or you can go, okay, I'd rather deal with the idea that I could trust someone and get fucked over, but you know, have friends. And I'd rather deal with the awkwardness and uncomfortability of, of, of effort. I'd rather deal with the, the effort required to put myself out there then be lonely. Right. And you. And it's. There's pros and cons to each of them, but it's a really personal decision as to what you want to choose. But yeah, they all it all, all this letting people into your life comes with its own set of fuckery and being alone comes with its own set of fuckery. I'm gonna go out on a. I'm just my own personal. Because I, I've yes. Spent time alone and spent time with other people and observing, you know, talking to other people who are entrenched in communities and observing and talking to other people who are alone and have no one. And it always comes with its own set of stuff. Personally, I kind of think it's better to try. I think again, it's a very personal decision, but from my own point of view, it's better to try put yourself out there and risk getting, you know, risk that trust being fucked then to just stay closed off forever. And I, yeah, that's my personal decision. That's, that's how I look at my own life. But you know, so it's up to you. That's my, that's my little thought about it.
Eric
Well, you said it's pretty true. I never really looked at it that way. You're trading the comfortability and ask the comfortability and the safetyness in your own home. You're trading that for the option of being around people and being in a communal environment, but getting through that barrier from wanting safety and a pristine environment that you could be trustful in is what I'm finding hard. Like, I would agree that getting out there and putting yourself out there would be the best course of action than wallowing and misery and oppression and. But trading safeties, like, it doesn't make sense to my brain right now, and it. It makes me very fearful for, like, how I view the future and how long I'll allow this to take control of me. And that's. That's really what I'm fighting, is that I'm not allowing it to take control of me. To not. To not give up entirely on people in general.
Gecko
Yeah. I don't know what's. What's preventing you from. Hashtag, Just do it.
Eric
Yes. Nothing other than just fear.
Gecko
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That. The. The. I mean, yeah. The philosophy behind it is one thing, but the. You know, I don't know, man. Are there any, like, little, like, are there any, like, little things you want to do? Like what? Why don't you. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I have ideas if you want ideas, but I don't know. I don't know. I could give you ideas if you want ideas.
Eric
I'm always open to ideas, Mr. Lyle. It's. I've never been one like this. Like, to make. Make a long story quick, I've hiked the Appalachian Trail. I've traveled the country. I was a ski tech in Vail for two years.
Gecko
Yeah, look at you.
Eric
North Carolina and 2016 during the wildfires. I've done a lot of things in life. So it for me to be so withdrawn now, like, during all those moments, I was hammered out of my mind. I was eating acid. I was traveling the country, smoking all the weed I could, doing everything I could, and then once all of it stops, I'm so stationary and afraid of even putting myself out there to chase a wildfire. It. I don't know. I guess the alcohol put it in me to be brave. The drugs put it in me to not care and chase for the next one, you know?
Gecko
But can I go now? Go ahead. I want to let you finish. Go ahead.
Eric
No, go ahead now.
Gecko
You finish first. So you finish first.
Eric
I already lost the train of thought, my man.
Gecko
Okay. All right. Can I. Can I have permission. Can I. Can I have permission to. To go cheesy motivational speaker mode on you real quick just for a second?
Eric
Hell yeah. Give it to me.
Gecko
Okay. All right, I'm gonna. What's your name again?
Eric
Eric.
Gecko
Listen, Eric, I think I will invite you to change your perspective on this, because I believe that whatever is in your brain and balls that cause you to do all these things, maybe, maybe, sure. Was aided by. By doing a ton of acid and getting fucked up. Sure. I'm not going to discount that. That would be unrealistic. But the. But the adventurous things that you just described, the lust for life that you described, I think is a thing that came from your actual brain and from you and I think to. I think it's a brutal mistake of you to give credit to booze for those things. And I would urge you to evaluate truly, if bold Boos deserves, you know, whatever. Give booze 20%. Give. Give booze. Give booze 70%. If you want to. Give booze 70%, but take your 30% of credit for doing those things. Take, you know, take it. Take whatever credit you can that you are going to reasonably give to yourself for those things and take it to the bank and go, you know, look, at least I. I'll at least credit myself 30% with hiking the Appalachian Trail. Acid could have 70%, but I'm going to take the 30% of credit for hiking the Appalachian Trail. There is something in my. My brain and gut and of me and of my essence that does those things, and I'm going to use my whatever to. To tap into that so that I can go attend a stupid Dungeons and Dragons event, you know, sober. So, yeah, do it. Do it. Do with that. Whatever you will.
Eric
I totally agree with you. I definitely got to give myself some credit.
Gecko
Yeah, give yourself some credit. You don't have to end, like, whatever you're comfortable with. Give yours. Give alcohol 80% of the credit, but get. You got to give yourself something.
Eric
Right. You're absolutely right, Mr. Lyle. I appreciate that.
Gecko
Oh, man, that sounds fun. I want to go to a dungeon. I want to go. I want to go to a Dungeons and Dragons thing, maybe. Yeah, that sounds fun. That sounds fun. It does sound like it would be fun to get fucked up and go. It does sound like it would. That's a fun. Yeah. Alcohol is a. Alcohol is a tough one. Yeah. Because it's like, I've never been.
Eric
I'm like, everybody does it. It's in every event. You can't. You can't watch a sports game or go to a friend's birthday party without someone drinking a beer or offering it to you.
Gecko
Yeah.
Eric
And I don't see that as the hard part. I see more people. I see it more. I see it harder to watch people that are farther in the hole than I am now continue to put themselves in the hole.
Gecko
Yeah.
Eric
Because I don't want to be like, oh, I'm sober. You need to get sober, too. I'm not that person. But I. I don't. I'm not gonna sit there and watch you drink yourself to a hole, then get to your car and drive like, no, you shouldn't do that. Like, yeah. You know, people see it as. You're the. You're the Debbie Downer, and they. They don't want to be around you no more. Or you just decide not to be around them because you're tired of explaining that you're like, hey, I ruined my life. Let's not do that together.
Gecko
Yeah, you can't. I. Listen, I hope. I hope you maintain the optimism that you will find a new group of people to hang out with.
Eric
It'll take some time, but I'm sure I'll find it in me to. To be able to get out eventually.
Gecko
Yeah. Goddamn. That's all you need. That's all you need. I have things. I have a lot of shit like that where I'm, like, you know, think. I don't. Things are not going the way I absolutely want them to right this very moment. But I'm. I maintain steady optimism that they will eventually because I'm gonna just, like, figure this out. So, you know, as long as you have that, you'll. You'll maybe probably, who knows, be fine.
Eric
Right? Just don't give up, dude. I'm sure life is a struggle. We're all going through something that puts us down, and every. Everybody has a hurdle to get to the next step in the next day. So definitely don't put yourself down in your process, my man. I know you're traveling a lot and you're. You're posting. You're. You're Two to three times a week you're on the air. Just. Just make sure you take care of yourself in that process as well, my friend.
Gecko
You know, I. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't. I don't. I don't know anything anymore. This. I'm actually. I'm really happy that we had this conversation because for the past 20 minutes, I think giving you that motivational speech, I got to live in it. Yeah, I got to. For 20 minutes. I got to live in a world where I felt like I knew something, and that was good. So this was a good conversation. Hopefully for both of us. Hopefully for both of us.
Eric
Definitely. I'm definitely leaving with something from it. And man, just so you know, for the last four months, going through, I've been going through, I've been listening to your podcast, at least two, two or three episodes a day. Just bored. It helps me out, helps me a lot. You, you definitely are helping people out there and you're teaching people things. You're making people realize things that they don't realize about themselves. And I appreciate it, man.
Gecko
Thanks, Eric. I appreciate that, man. I'm trying my best. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Eric
Don't give up. Love yourself as much as you love the person in front or beside you. Take care of yourselves.
Gecko
All right? Go have a beer. You earned it. Just kidding. All right, see you later, Eric.
Eric
Nightmare.
Gecko
I like that guy. He was a cool guy. Do I have any post call thoughts about that? I'm sure I do. I'm sure I do. I feel good in this moment. I, I drank a coffee before. Sometimes I should. Sometimes I show up to do this podcast and I just feel like a dead guy. And I'm like, I don't have the, like, I just, I, I, yeah, I just, I don't have the thing, I think, to be able to do this. But then I, sometimes I show up and I'm like, I feel good right now. I feel like it's a. My. I was talking to a friend the other day and I was telling her I was like, sometimes I show up to do this podcast and I just like, don't feel like I can, I have the, like I, I can give to it. Like, I'm like, oh, I don't feel like I, I can give to it what it, what I think it demands, you know, and she told me, she was like, I, you, why don't you just use it like as a thought experiment to just be, just be like, when you're on the phone with someone, just be like, I'm just gonna be in the moment with this one person at this time and not think about how it is being perceived as a conversation or like anything like that. Just like, can I challenge myself as. Just as a thought process to just be in the moment with the person I'm talking to and like how I like how, like, because I have, you know, I talk a whole bunch of shit on this podcast about like perspective or whatnot, but I have a tons of shitty perspectives and I'm trying to rattle them and get them better. So I don't know. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do for at least today. And also it's easier because of coffee. Coffee is good with the best All.
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Matt Rogers
Is Matt Rogers from Lost Culturesis with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.
Bowen Yang
Save the date, prepare for chaos and.
Matt Rogers
Get ready for your cordially invited a hilarious new movie comedy icons Will Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon together on screen for the first time. It's written and directed by Nicholas Stoller of Forgetting Sarah Marshall and neighbors.
Bowen Yang
Find out what happens when two weddings are accidentally booked on the weekend at the same remote venue. Uh oh. In a laugh out loud battle of determination and grit, the father of the bride, played by Will Ferrell and sister of the other bride played by Reese Witherspoon chaotically go head to head and will stop at nothing to pull off an unforgettable celebration for the ones they.
Matt Rogers
Love and if you think you've been to a wedding where crazy things happen, prepare for alligator attacks, sabotage, Shipwrec cornhole, and all star comedy cameos. Will the couples make it down the aisle? Will fire regulations be violated? Find out. In this perfect blend of hijinks and heartstrings, it's time to RSVP for Feral vs. Witherspoon in their new wedding comedy. You're cordially invited.
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Lula
Holy.
Gecko
Hey, what's up? Hi. Hello. Where are you? Are you at a party or something?
Lula
I was at a bar and now I'm outside.
Gecko
What bar were you at?
Lula
It's called Hammerhead.
Gecko
Hammerhead. Tell me about the bar. What kind of bar is it?
Lula
It's a dive bar. It is at a beach town.
Gecko
Are you on vacation or do you live in this beach town?
Lula
I live in the beach town.
Leslie
Oh.
Gecko
Can I ask. Can I ask where you are?
Lula
Yeah, it's called Amelia Island.
Gecko
Amelia Island. Is that where the plane lady went missing?
Lula
Amelia?
Gecko
Yeah.
Lula
Earhart. That person?
Gecko
Yeah.
Lula
No, I don't think that's where she went missing.
Gecko
Where is. I've never heard of Amelia Island. Where is the. This.
Lula
It's in Florida. North Florida.
Gecko
Okay, so how's living on an island and how's. How is living in a Florida beach town? That sounds like. That sounds like something I would have dreamed of doing when I was a boy.
Lula
You know, when you grow up here, it's a little different. Like you want to get out, but it's. Now that I'm older, it's pretty sweet. I'm not going to lie.
Gecko
You sound like you're having a fun time. I. Yeah, you sound like having a good time.
Lula
Yeah. I've been trying to call you for so long and I'm so excited to be talking to you right now.
Gecko
I'm excited to be talking to you, too. The fact that you and I are talking means that both of us have not died yet, which is really good, I think. I don't watch. I don't know. Death could be better than life, but I don't wanna. I'll find that out eventually. For now, I'm gonna stick with life. I like life.
Lula
Yeah, I like life.
Gecko
What's your name again?
Lula
Lula.
Gecko
Lola.
Lula
Lula.
Gecko
Lula. L, U L, A. Yeah, that's it. Lula. What a great name. Lula. What's up? How you doing?
Lula
Thank you.
Gecko
Is there anything. Is there anything? Yeah, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.
Lula
I'm so sorry. I just want to tell you Like I met my boyfriend because of you and that's why.
Gecko
Really?
Lula
To talk about.
Gecko
Yeah, yeah. What? Yeah, go ahead.
Lula
So we, I went to, I live in Florida and I went to the Atlanta show just because I go to Atlanta kind of often and I met my boyfriend there and now he lives with me and we've been together for like four or five months.
Gecko
Wow, that, that's so cool. I love that. That's amazing. How did, can I. So did you go to the show by yourself?
Lula
Yeah, I did and then I met him at the bar. It was at the Earl. And I sat next to him and then we just started talking and he was alone too. And then we went in together. We met you. We were the people that came in both shows, which I don't know if that happens often.
Gecko
That's so cool. And did he come alone too?
Lula
Yeah.
Gecko
Wow. This is, this is, this is, this is great. This is great promotion for when I do my next tour.
Lula
It really is. We want you to officiate the wedding when it happens.
Gecko
Well, if you, if you. Here's my promise to you is if you promise to do the wedding within a 15 minute walk of wherever I currently am in the world at that time, I, A hundred percent will do. Will do. Will officiate your wedding.
Lula
Heard that. I appreciate that.
Gecko
No, that's sick. That's fucking really cool. I'm really stoked about that. Can I, can I ask. So what can you tell me a little bit more about like what was the conversation you guys first had? Like, what was it like? What'd you guys talk about?
Lula
Like, well, he was, well he was a chef now he does something different. So. And I used to cook. So we talked about that for a long time and then it just kind of ventured off. We did coke the whole night.
Gecko
It was cool as you guys, you guys stayed up all night after the therapy gecko show doing cocaine together? Yes, yes, it sounds, that sounds like, that sounds like an awesome night actually. What did he. All right, let me. So let's say that I'm, I'm curious about this because like if a young gentleman comes alone to a therapy gecko show and, and he, and he sees, and he sees another lady that he likes and maybe he's scared to like go up and talk to her. Think people get, people get fixated on like, oh, what do I say? Like how, like, because what. Cuz the middle of a conversation is the easiest part. It's the, it's the like courage to start one that's the hardest thing so that's. That's what I'm curious about. What was the first thing he said to you?
Lula
Well, I said something to him because he was sitting alone, and there was an empty bar stool next to him. So I came up, and I was like, hey, is anyone sitting here? And he was like, no. And then I was like, hey, to the bartender. I was like, am I here for the right thing? Like, am I here for therapy Gecko? Because I was pretty confused, not gonna lie, because it didn't look like there was a stage or anything. And then. So he heard me say that, and he was like, oh, my God. You're here for therapy Gecko. And I. I said, yeah, obviously. And then we just started talking after that.
Gecko
That's awesome. So you started talking to him. Well, okay, so it sounds like, like, you. You. It sounds like you slid in a tiny little thing of, like, I am open to speaking with other people in this room right now. And then he. And then he was like. And then he. And then. And then. And then he picked up on that. And that made a little bit easier. Okay. All right. Yeah. So. Yeah. So it wasn't like a hey, you come here often? Kind of a vibe.
Lula
No, no, not like that.
Gecko
Okay. Okay. But he's. I guess he still had to have the situational awareness to pick up on your little. Your little cue of being open to speaking with other people in that moment.
Lula
He did.
Gecko
You gave him. You get. You gave it, like, by spy initiating the conversation of, hey, is anyone sitting here? You. I think you gave. You gave him a lot to work with there. Then if. Then he was. Then if you were, like, sitting there on your phone and he had to come in and be like, hey, are you here for the Gecko show? And risk you being like, I don't know what the that is, and don't look at me.
Lula
Exactly. And, like, no offense, but, like, how many people. I mean, a lot of people know about the Gecko show, but, like, come on.
Gecko
No, no, no. No offense taken. I am. I am exactly as famous as I ever desire to be.
Lula
Yeah, you're famous in my world, man.
Gecko
Well, that's nice. Is. Has he done anything to piss you off in the last five months? Are you guys good? No.
Lula
He's literally perfect.
Gecko
Wow.
Lula
I could not be happier.
Gecko
Wow. I'm so. I'm so happy about it because it. Because if I'd be one thing, if, like, you know, you were like, I met my boyfriend at your show, but he's actually a total piece of shit. And so I'm mad at you.
Lula
No, Literally the best man I've ever met. Literally.
Gecko
It's so wonderful. I love that. That's awesome. That's so great. Wow. Wow. Well, were you at the early show or the late show?
Lula
Both.
Leslie
Oh, yeah.
Gecko
You were both. Oh, yeah. You were at both? The late. That. The. This is. I. I'm alienating people who weren't there, which is several thousands of people who. Listening to this. But that late show, that was the drunkest group of people I think I've ever seen in my life.
Lula
Oh, that show was fun. But I really do think that the first show was better.
Gecko
Yeah, they were. You know, they were fun. They were fun. No, no, no. I thought they were both fun. I. I always. That the. Atlanta is a great city. I loved all the shows I've done there, both in 2023 and 2024, and who knows, maybe 2026, I'll. I'll get back on the road.
Lula
Well, I'm hoping you come to Jax, man.
Gecko
Jacksonville. Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna do that.
Lula
Oh, that's hurtful.
Gecko
It. It is hurtful, but wouldn't. Would. Can I ask you a real question?
Lula
Sure.
Gecko
What's more hurtful to you? Me telling you honestly that I'm never gonna come to Jacksonville, Florida. Or me. Or me going, like. Oh, yeah, maybe.
Leslie
You know what?
Gecko
Yeah, maybe I'll come to Jacksonville, Florida, knowing full well that I'm never going to go.
Lula
Both are equally as hurtful. I'm going to be honest.
Gecko
Okay. Well, I guess. I guess we live in a world where being slightly hurtful to you was an unfortunate inevitability that we both must go on a journey through.
Lula
Fair enough. But, hey, Jacksonville is pretty cool. I'm just saying.
Gecko
Well, what's your name again? I'm sorry. I know I've asked you probably 10 times.
Lula
It's cool. I know. It's Lula.
Gecko
Lula. How could I forget that name? That's a good name. Is your boy. Is. Is. Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Lula
No, I just want to thank you for assisting and meeting the person I love so much. So thank you.
Gecko
I. Thank you. Thank you for calling me and telling me this. This is. I'm very. I'm very happy that I could have. Have a positive influence of some kind in this way. This is. This is good. I'm taking this to the bank. I'm gonna feel. I'm gonna try to feel good about this throughout the day. I'M gonna try. I'm. I honestly, I'm gonna use this as an excuse to commit a crime of some kind today. I think I'm gonna steal. Maybe I'll steal something from a convenience store or I'll jaywalk or something like that. I don't know.
Lula
I'm gonna think of something like some diamonds or something like that.
Gecko
That's too. I. That's. That's your. Yeah, maybe I'll. How happy are you exactly? Because that's gonna determine how sadistic whatever crime I commit will be.
Lula
Okay, well, you be good. Thank you so much for taking my call. This was so great. I can't wait to tell Connor.
Gecko
Thank you, Lula. Have a good night.
Lula
You too. Bye.
Gecko
Bye. Bye. That's fun. That's fun. That's good. I like that. I like, see that. You know what? I really, I love my, like my real like, passion. The thing I just really fucking love is I love, like create. Whether it's through like my tours or through like whatever the. I love like creepy. Gathering folks together in physical proximity. It's fun, it's cool. I like it. Makes me happy. These two people met because of, because of this thing. So this is cool. I want to do more stuff where people meet in person. It's cool, it's exciting. I don't have anything else. I don't have. I don't have anything else to say. Or maybe I do. I don't know. I'm on a lot of coffee. Let's keep it rolling. Let's keep it rolling.
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Gecko
High Five Casino.
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This is Matt Rogers from Lost Culturesis with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.
Bowen Yang
Save the date, prepare for chaos and.
Matt Rogers
Get ready for your cordially invited, a hilarious new movie starring comedy icons Will Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon together on screen for the first time. It's written and directed by Nicholas Stoler of for Sarah Marshall and neighbors.
Bowen Yang
Find out what happens when two weddings are accidentally booked on the weekend at the same remote venue. Oh, and a laugh out loud battle of determination and grit. The father of the bride, played by Will Ferrell and sister of the other bride, played by Reese Witherspoon chaotically go head to head and will stop at nothing to pull off an unforgettable celebration for the ones they love.
Matt Rogers
And if you think you've been to a wedding where crazy things happen, prepare for alligator attacks, sabotage, shipwrecks, cornhole and all star comedy cameos. Will the couples make it down the aisle? Will fire regulations be violated? Find out in this perfect blend of hijinks and heartstrings, it's time to RSVP for Ferrell vs. Witherspoon in their new wedding comedy, you're cordially invited.
Bowen Yang
Watch January 30th on Prime Video.
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Alice
Hey, Lyle.
Gecko
Yeah. Hi. What's your name?
Alice
Hey, my name is Alice. How you doing, Alice?
Gecko
Alice. What's up, Alice? How am I doing? I'm doing pretty good, actually. Yeah, I'm doing pretty good, actually. I'm enjoying life. I am. I am in Tokyo right now, hanging out. I'm in a room, I'm not wearing a shirt, and I have to pee. But not enough that I'm willing to interrupt this conversation. That's how I'm doing in this very moment. How are you doing?
Alice
Well, I'm doing great. I. So weird. I knew today was my day.
Gecko
You knew today was your day?
Alice
I knew. Yeah. You know, I haven't. I wasn't talking to my little brother for a while because he's like, you know, he's in foster care, things are a little weird for him. And he called me today, but then I saw you were live, and I'm like, hey, man, I'm sorry. I think today's the day. I gotta go. He's like, all righty.
Gecko
You. I'm trying to understand here. You. Your brother's in foster care?
Alice
Yeah.
Gecko
How old is he?
Alice
He's 16.
Gecko
And he. And he was calling you on the phone to talk to you about something, and you were like, sorry, I can't talk right now. I gotta call the therapy gecko.
Alice
Well, yeah, we were already talking for, like, three hours, and, you know, we're just, like, listening to music or whatever, so it's all cool.
Gecko
Oh, all right, all right, all right. Well, then. Well, then screw him. What's. What's up? How are you doing?
Alice
I'm doing okay. You know, I was doing pretty rough, like, last week or so, but I dropped a couple of courses because I'm in college, and they gave me, like, eight classes this semester. So I just dropped a couple. Decided I'm going to take it a little bit, like, longer than normal because I was, like, on a fast track, which was just stupid. And I'm feeling a lot better now. And, yeah, things are looking up.
Gecko
Good. Very good. It's good when things look up, you know? What. What are you studying?
Alice
Oh, my gosh. It's a Bachelor of Health Information Sciences, but it's basically Digital health. They're changing the name to that. So when I graduate, that's going to be on the diploma.
Gecko
I'm sorry, you said digital health?
Alice
Yeah, like. Like computer science, but for health care.
Gecko
Yo. So you're going to be, like, doing surgery on Zoom?
Alice
No. Oh, my God, no. I'm going to be like. Like, making sure the people that do surgery, all the information from that surgery is taken care of properly.
Gecko
So, like, so, so, like, when Sonic the Hedgehog is having chest pains, you're going to go into the computer and save him?
Alice
Yeah, basically, we're going to look at, like, we can do programming so we could look up. Find Sonic the Hedgehog. Select Sonic's heart count beats per minute.
Gecko
Yo. Because I don't know why he runs so fast in it, but it might have something to do. He might lead to heart complications. All right, I'm done with this joke.
Alice
You're good.
Gecko
You said. You said today was your day. Oh, well, I guess I'll ask you this. And it's completely fine if not normal. Sometimes I say it's fine if not, and I don't Mean it. But today, I mean it. Was there anything in particular that you wanted to talk about? And again, it's fine. If not.
Alice
Man, I just want to talk about life and, like, sure. Human connection, I guess.
Gecko
Human connection. What about human connection?
Alice
Like, it's kind of like the reason I called you and the reason, like, I talk. Listen to your podcast all the time. It's, like, so interesting, the interactions that humans can have with each other. It's, like, just fascinating to me.
Gecko
It is. It's a little upsetting to see. I don't know. It's a little. It's a little upsetting to see that. Like, I guess a lot of people don't have that, and so they are like, they just kind of, like, sit on the computer and like. I don't know. I don't know. Get like. Like leap b. Argue with people in, like, Internet comments sections and stuff.
Alice
Oh, yeah, yeah. Sometimes I'm on Reddit arguing with people. But do be like that.
Gecko
What do you. What do you argue with people about on Reddit?
Alice
Oh, well, the last time it was about how bad a pizza was, I was posting a picture about kiwis on a pizza.
Gecko
Okay, that's what. That's. You know what? That's. That's relatively. What's the word? But that's relatively malignant when it comes to Internet arguments.
Alice
Maybe I'm stupid. What do you mean? Sorry.
Gecko
No, I. Maybe I'm stupid. Like, maybe that. Relatively mild, I think, when it comes to Internet arguments. What the. Does malignant. I got to stop using words that I don't know what the they mean. I'm Google. Hold on. Malignant. Malignant. Like a malignant tumor. Like a tumor. That's not that bad. Hold on.
Alice
Yeah, is like cancerous.
Gecko
Oh, wait. Oh, wait. Oh, malignant is bad. Okay. Malignant's the opposite of what I thought it meant. Oh, my God. Hole. But not. Yes, I meant benign. Holy shit. That's what. Oh, my God. Okay. No, no, you're. You are not stupid. I'm stupid. Benign, I meant. But not malignant. The opposites. Okay. I just. This. I actually had a. This happened to me. I'm 27. To my whole life, I always thought malignant meant not that bad. Okay, this happened to me one other time. I'm just gonna. Real quick the word approximate. I was 24. No, I was 23. Maybe I was maybe, like 23 years old when I found out that I thought approximate meant, like, precise. Like what. Like when you said, like, approximately 7pm I thought about exactly 7pm and then one day I realized. And then when one day I found out that approximate is means the opposite. It. So this is the second time that I have been using a word incorrectly for my entire life. And I'm glad I. Okay, good. Okay. I'm glad that I had this conversation. This was extremely. If this was all. If this entire conversation was just me finding out that malignant means bad, then it was really good, productive conversation for at least me.
Lula
Yeah.
Alice
No, I would be, like, eternally grateful if I could have facilitated that for you or maybe even for anyone listening.
Gecko
Yeah.
Alice
And you do, like a lasting impression. That's human connection, man. That's exactly what I wanted.
Gecko
Okay, well, okay, we connected a little bit just now in this moment. Then be with that.
Alice
Wait, Lyle?
Gecko
Yeah.
Alice
Do you know my name?
Gecko
No.
Alice
Oh, no worries. No worries. Well, you know, there was something this ice cream truck lady was talking to you about. Like, if you could look at a rock, you could be happy.
Gecko
Yeah. Yeah, I remember. Ice cream truck. I love talking. Yeah, I remember. I remember her name. It was Angie. Sorry, that was. I don't know why I said that. I think I only. I think I. Yeah, that was you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you could look at a rock and be happy. Yeah. You're good. You're chilling. I'm trying to. I'm debating whether or not I can do. I've been recently debating whether or not I can do that. Whether or not I can be happy. Like a less than perfect life.
Alice
No. Do you collect rocks at all? That's what you should do.
Gecko
You think I should collect rocks?
Alice
Yeah, that's what I've been doing lately. Like, you know, like geodes and, like, crystals and whatnot.
Gecko
Okay.
Alice
And be like, this planet is neat. Look what this planet did.
Gecko
Yeah. But I. Okay, for me, I don't have to collect. I can just. You don't need to collect them. I don't need to be in possession of it. I can just look at the rock and be like, this is a cool rock. I don't got to take it home with me.
Alice
Okay. Okay, fine. Well, we can all look. Look at rocks and be happy.
Gecko
Yeah.
Alice
In our own place.
Gecko
Yeah. Do you feel like, you know, you said the way you said today is your day, it made it. I guess it indicated to me that you really wanted to have this conversation, which I'm. I'm honored by. And I just. In this moment, I want to check in with you and see if the results of this conversation matched your expectations in any way, shape, or form.
Alice
Oh, my Gosh, Like. Like I still can't even believe I'm talking to you right now.
Gecko
Okay, good. Okay, good. I was. I was worried about that.
Alice
No, I think you facilitate a lot of good in this world and you put a lot of good vibes in there. And I've definitely received those good vibes from you during this phone call, for sure.
Gecko
Okay, good. Okay, good. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. I'm gonna try to remember your name. Give me two seconds. Only. Only one. Oh, okay, Alice. There we go. Okay. You kind of gave that to me, though.
Alice
I'm sorry.
Gecko
No, no, it's. It's okay. It's okay. I would. I would. I was gonna guess Erica.
Alice
Oh, yeah. I'm glad I gave it to you.
Gecko
Alice, is there anything else you want to say to the people. The computer before we go?
Alice
Just appreciate the people around you. That's all I gotta say. Guys, have a good one. And Geck.
Gecko
Bless, I think, Alice, I will. I will see you in. I'll see you in hell or heaven or wherever.
Alice
Wonderland.
Gecko
Or in the dirt. Or in. Or in wonderland. Or in the dirt. But I'll be seeing you at some point.
Alice
Next time you come Toronto, I'm going to your show.
Gecko
Okay, cool. Yeah. Jacksonville, Florida. I don't know, but Toronto, I'm there.
Alice
Beautiful. We'll see you then. All right, take it easy.
Gecko
Bye, Alice. I don't have anything particularly against the actual city of Jacksonville, Florida. I've never been there. If you're from Jacksonville, Florida, I'm not. I've been. I. We did Miami, Orlando, Tampa. It's just. But Jacksonville. Are there people in Jacksonville that would want to come to a thing? Also, Toronto is a better city. No offense to Jackson. I can't. You know what? You know what? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that because I've never been to Jackson. I've only been to Toronto. Toronto is a great city, though. I like it a lot. I'm sure Jacksonville is good too. You know what? I'm leaving. I can't cut this out. I'm leaving it in. I mean, I can, but I don't want to because I'm not that worried about the. About it. I. Yeah, you know what? Maybe one day I'll go to Jacksonville, Florida, to. But I don't know what I would do there. I guess walk. I guess the same. I guess the same fucking thing I would do anywhere else I went in the world, which is walk around safe things and eat. It's the only thing to ever do anywhere all right, podcast over with the.
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Podcast Title: Therapy Gecko
Host/Author: iHeartPodcasts
Episode: THE TIC TAC HORROR STORY
Release Date: January 26, 2025
Note: Advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections have been omitted to focus solely on the episode's substantive content.
In this episode of Therapy Gecko, the unlicensed lizard psychologist hosts a series of candid and often surreal conversations with callers, delving into their personal experiences and struggles. Titled "THE TIC TAC HORROR STORY," the episode centers around intense and sometimes bizarre narratives that highlight human vulnerability and the quest for connection.
Leslie, an anonymous caller, courageously shares a harrowing experience from her youth that has lingered in her mind for years. At 19, after being kicked out of her house, Leslie turned to a hookup website seeking companionship. Her story unfolds as follows:
Initial Encounter (02:30 - 05:46): Leslie meets a 45-year-old man, significantly older than her, who persuades her to meet in a public park. Despite her reservations about his appearance—likened to "Humpty Dumpty"—she proceeds, driven by youthful hormones and the allure of companionship.
Leslie (03:24): "I want to talk about a weird series of sexual encounters I had whenever I was 19 because I haven't really ever got to talk to anybody about them."
The Unsettling Proposition (05:59 - 09:43): The encounter takes a dark turn when the man invites Leslie to engage in unconventional acts, including the use of a self-crafted bamboo cane and the ingestion of tic tacs. Leslie describes the discomfort and coercion she felt, culminating in her performing these acts under the guise of receiving marijuana.
Leslie (07:35): "I shoved four tic tacs into his dick hole and then chewed him."
Aftermath and Reflections (09:48 - 22:24): Following the incident, Leslie seeks solace in marijuana and later enters the dominatrix profession, using the bamboo cane as a trophy until her husband encourages her to discard it. She reveals that she met her husband on the same hookup site years later, leading to a stable family life with stepchildren. Leslie emphasizes the importance of honesty and open communication in overcoming past traumas.
Leslie (15:05): "I went to therapy for, like, two or three years, but that wasn't really one of the things that I talked about."
Leslie (20:24): "The only reason that I met up with this guy is because I saw his picture on the site."
Key Insights:
Eric, another caller, opens up about his battle with alcoholism following a DUI that derailed his life. His narrative highlights the challenges of overcoming addiction and the consequent social isolation.
Journey to Sobriety (23:29 - 26:10): Eric discusses the triggering event—a night of excessive drinking leading to a fight and subsequent incarceration—that propelled him towards sobriety. He reflects on the loneliness and disconnection from friends who remained entrenched in self-destructive behaviors.
Eric (23:29): "I'm about three and a half, almost four months sober."
Challenges of Rebuilding (26:20 - 37:35): Navigating life post-addiction, Eric grapples with finding a new social circle and the fear of vulnerability. Therapy and personal introspection are mentioned as tools he's utilized, but he expresses difficulty in maintaining motivation and combating fear.
Eric (27:17): "I'm just trying to make new group of friends, someone I could go play DND with."
Therapy Gecko's Motivational Support (37:24 - 45:12): The conversation evolves into a motivational dialogue, with Gecko encouraging Eric to reclaim credit for his past achievements and to take proactive steps towards reconnecting with society. Gecko emphasizes self-worth and the importance of personal effort in overcoming isolation.
Gecko (38:33): "You don't have to end, like, whatever you're comfortable with... You gotta give yourself some credit."
Eric (44:03): "Don't give up. Love yourself as much as you love the person in front or beside you."
Key Insights:
Lula and Alice join the episode, each bringing unique stories of connection and personal growth.
Lula's Serendipitous Love Story (49:46 - 61:28): Lula shares her joyful experience of meeting her boyfriend through the Therapy Gecko show. Their conversation illustrates the serendipity of forming meaningful relationships in unconventional settings.
Lula (52:10): "I met my boyfriend because of you."
Gecko (53:22): "Here's my promise to you... I will officiate your wedding."
The dialogue showcases Gecko's lighthearted yet genuine support, fostering a sense of community and shared happiness.
Alice's Linguistic Realization and Human Connection (65:07 - 76:18): Alice delves into her academic pursuits in Digital Health while reflecting on the simplicity of human connections. A pivotal moment occurs when she helps Gecko realize the correct usage of the word "malignant," leading to a mutual feeling of accomplishment and connection.
Alice (67:16): "It's a Bachelor of Health Information Sciences, but it's basically Digital health."
Gecko (73:57): "I really fucking love is I love, like create... creepy gatherings of folks together in physical proximity."
This exchange underscores the episode's theme of finding joy and understanding through shared experiences and learning.
Key Insights:
Leslie (03:24): "I want to talk about a weird series of sexual encounters I had whenever I was 19 because I haven't really ever got to talk to anybody about them."
Gecko (38:33): "You gotta keep that thing under, like, contamination, my friend."
Eric (23:29): "I'm about three and a half, almost four months sober."
Leslie (20:24): "The only reason that I met up with this guy is because I saw his picture on the site."
Gecko (38:33): "You gotta give yourself some credit."
Eric (44:03): "Don't give up. Love yourself as much as you love the person in front or beside you."
Lula (52:10): "I met my boyfriend because of you."
Alice (67:16): "It's a Bachelor of Health Information Sciences, but it's basically Digital health."
"The Tic Tac Horror Story" serves as a poignant exploration of the complexities of human relationships, the lingering effects of past traumas, and the ongoing struggle for personal growth and connection. Through Leslie’s confessional narrative, Eric’s battle with sobriety, Lula’s joyous love story, and Alice’s enlightening epiphany, the episode underscores the importance of sharing experiences as a path to healing and understanding.
Themes Explored:
Final Thought: Therapy Gecko masterfully blends humor with deep emotional narratives, providing a unique platform for listeners to engage with diverse human experiences. "THE TIC TAC HORROR STORY" is a testament to the podcast's ability to navigate the intricacies of the human psyche with both levity and depth, making it a compelling listen for those seeking both entertainment and introspection.
Notable Exclusions:
All advertisements, promotional segments, and non-content dialogues have been excluded to maintain focus on the episode’s core discussions and insights.