“THINGS KEEP FIZZLING OUT”

Summary

Podcast Title: Therapy Gecko
Host: Lyle (a gecko psychologist)
Episode Title: “THINGS KEEP FIZZLING OUT”
Release Date: May 11, 2025

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Overview

In this episode of Therapy Gecko, host Lyle engages in deep, occasionally humorous, and introspective conversations with callers grappling with various personal challenges. The episode delves into themes of mental health, relationship struggles, and unresolved family mysteries, all wrapped in Lyle's unique gecko-inspired persona.

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Introduction and Monologue (02:08 - 04:12)

Lyle opens the show with a candid and introspective monologue, expressing his existential musings and the desire to connect with others amidst feelings of uncertainty and over-caffeination.

Notable Quote:

"I am a gecko. As every day inches forward I lose sight of who I am. If I'm a man. If I'm a gecko, I don't know what the hell it is that is piloting my eyes or my body."
— Lyle (02:08)

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First Call: Simon from Denmark (04:12 - 27:04)

Background: Simon shares his recent struggles, including a tumultuous breakup and a stressful move due to his landlord's illegal activities. He discusses living alone and the eerie calm that follows significant life upheavals.

Key Discussions:

• ADHD and Mental Health: Simon reveals his ADHD diagnosis and how it affects his focus and hobbies. He talks about his reliance on medication to manage his symptoms and the challenges he faces when he's off his medication.

  Notable Quote:

  "I have ADHD, so I have like my focus and my interest is shifting a lot, and I find it very hard to delve into something where my interest isn't in it."
  — Simon (10:35)

• Medication Experiences: Both Lyle and Simon discuss the effects of ADHD medications like Vyvanse, highlighting how these drugs can alter mood and productivity.

  Notable Quote:

  "It's like amphetamine, but released over the course of the whole day in very small doses."
  — Simon (12:22)

• Career Aspirations: Simon expresses his dream of working with exotic animals and the difficulties in securing internships in Denmark due to limited opportunities.

  Notable Quote:

  "I would really like to do something with animals, like a sanctuary, preferably exotic animals."
  — Simon (19:49)

• Ethical Dating: Simon introduces his philosophy of ethical dating, emphasizing honesty and clear communication to avoid ghosting and manipulation.

  Notable Quote:

  "In a world where there's so much ghosting, I just decided that change starts with myself."
  — Simon (29:29)

Conclusion of Call: Simon and Lyle share mutual encouragement, discussing hopes for the future and personal growth.

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Second Call: Calvin's Relationship Struggles (39:38 - 54:22)

Background: Calvin reaches out to discuss his painful breakup with a girlfriend who exhibits narcissistic and gaslighting behaviors. He details the emotional turmoil and the challenges of moving on.

Key Discussions:

• Relationship Dynamics: Calvin describes the toxic nature of his past relationship, emphasizing the emotional manipulation he endured despite his efforts to please his ex-girlfriend.

  Notable Quote:

  "She kept yelling at me and trying to gaslight me, trying to say I never listened to her, yet I did everything for her."
  — Calvin (41:28)

• Emotional Support and Encouragement: Lyle offers empathy and practical advice, encouraging Calvin to lean on his supportive friends and avoid returning to a destructive relationship.

  Notable Quote:

  "You have good friends who give genuine perspective. Don’t let this lady drive you crazy."
  — Lyle (47:32)

• Financial Support Gesture: In a spontaneous act, Lyle offers Calvin $5 via Venmo to provide immediate support, highlighting the genuine care between host and caller.

  Notable Quote:

  "I'm sending you $5 right now."
  — Lyle (50:09)

Conclusion of Call: Calvin expresses gratitude, affirming the importance of finding healthy, loving relationships and maintaining one's mental health.

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Third Call: Rachel's Uncle's Disappearance (60:02 - 72:00)

Background: Rachel, a recent college graduate, recounts the mysterious disappearance and subsequent death of her uncle. She details her family's search, the confusing circumstances surrounding his death, and the emotional impact it had on her during her teenage years.

Key Discussions:

• Family Turmoil: Rachel shares the sequence of events leading to her uncle's disappearance, including his move back home after being disowned and his later homelessness in Florida.

  Notable Quote:

  "He was in Florida, homeless, with two accomplices living out of his car. They were using his credit cards after his death for months."
  — Rachel (61:13)

• Emotional Impact: The unresolved nature of her uncle's death and the lack of closure profoundly affected Rachel, leading her to question the circumstances and seek answers.

  Notable Quote:

  "It's very mysterious, and I wish that I could have been there to hear the homeless people converse."
  — Rachel (70:21)

• Resilience and Hope: Despite the tragic story, Rachel finds solace in rescuing her uncle's kittens, turning a painful memory into a positive action.

  Notable Quote:

  "I rescued five kittens under the deck and adopted them out to people. That was something good that came out of it."
  — Rachel (66:21)

Conclusion of Call: Rachel emphasizes the importance of family connections and shares a heartfelt message encouraging listeners to cherish their loved ones.

Notable Quote:

"Find the woman who means the most to you and find a woman who treats you how you want to be treated."
— Rachel (53:13)

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Closing Thoughts

Towards the end of the episode, Lyle reflects on the callers' stories, expressing empathy and a shared sense of battling internal struggles. He reiterates his commitment to helping listeners navigate their personal challenges, all while maintaining his quirky gecko persona.

Notable Quote:

"So much of life is just the fucking battle that you as a human being have with what you logically know to be good and bad."
— Lyle (54:22)

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Conclusion

“THINGS KEEP FIZZLING OUT” offers a blend of raw personal accounts and supportive dialogue, showcasing Lyle's ability to connect with callers on a genuine level. The episode highlights the complexities of mental health, the pain of toxic relationships, and the lingering effects of unresolved family issues, all while providing a comforting and humorous listening experience.

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Note: Advertisements and non-content segments have been excluded to focus solely on the meaningful discussions and insights shared during the episode.

Transcript

[Lyle]

You're listening to an iHeart podcast. Hey folks, this episode is sponsored by ChatGPT Plus. ChatGPT plus is free for college students now through May. That means you have no limits on how many ways you can prompt ChatGPT to help you through the worst part of the school year. There's many ways you can do this, like uploading your class notes and having ChatGPT quiz you on them, or or asking ChatGPT to take a complicated concept and try to explain it to you in simpler terms to help you understand. ChatGPT plus free for college students through May. Restrictions apply.

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[Lyle]

Hello and welcome to the Therapy Gecko Podcast. I am Lyle. I am a gecko. I am a man. As every day inches forward I lose sight of who I am. If I'm a man. If I'm a gecko, I don't know what the hell it is that is piloting my eyes or my body. I don't know if it's a soul. I don't know if consciousness is individualized. I don't know what this thing Is that incepted? And I control whatever. I don't even know what I mean when I say I. I'm getting too existential. I. I get existential a lot. And, you know, being existential is nice and all, but sometimes you just want to be in the real world with everyone else. What's the Matrix thing? The red pill or the blue pill? I'll take the blue pill every time. I will take the blue pill every time. I don't want to know the truth. What's the other one? The allegory of the cave. What's the cave guy? The cave thing. Plato's cave. Who's the Plato? It's the play. D'oh. Yeah, Plato. I don't want to know what's outside the cave. I'm gonna just enjoy what life has to offer. And life's got a lot to offer. It's got people that you can talk to. It's got videos that you can look at on the Internet. It's got food you can eat and it's got things you can do. It's got places you can go. It's got people you can talk to. I think I said that already. And today on the Therapy Gecko podcast, we are gonna talk to some of those people. It is 9:30pm at night. @ the time I'm recording this, I drank an entire diet Mountain Dew, which has about 91 milligrams of caffeine. And I'm ready to party. So let's talk to some people on the phone. Hi. Hey. What's up, man? How are you?

[Simon]

I'm good, I'm good. How are you?

[Lyle]

I'm okay, man. Where are you calling from? I noticed you have a bizarre area code. Bizarre to me. It's normal for you. I don't know why.

[Simon]

Yeah, I didn't even know how to call in. I'm from Denmark, so. Yeah.

[Lyle]

Ooh. Where in Denmark?

[Simon]

I live in a town called Ohuz. It's the second biggest city in Denmark, bro.

[Lyle]

I love Denmark. So I've been there two or three times. I went there first when I was like 18. I went to Copenhagen. I took a trip to this place called Christiania. You know Christiania?

[Calvin]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Simon]

Yes, Rudyard.

[Lyle]

Like the free. And this was when I was 18 and like, I was, you know, weed was still illegal and hurt. And we heard rumors like, yo, there's this place in Denmark where everyone fucking smokes weed. And it's like a little village and it's like an anarchist fucking place. And I. And I remember going There. And, you know, you go to, like, Pusher street, and there's all this, like, street art, and there's all these people, like, hanging around this big lake, getting high and hanging out, and it's just like, damn, this is the coolest motherfucking place ever. And then not just the drugs and stuff, but, like, Copenhagen, too. What a beautiful, beautiful place. Everyone's riding their bikes around, everyone's happy and. Yeah, it's cool. I mean, I know you don't live there, and, you know, none of this. I'm just. I'm just gassing up. Denmark. I love that place.

[Simon]

Well, Denmark is kind of nice. Yeah. Like, compared to, like, a lot of the other places on Earth, you know, so. Yeah, I feel like.

[Lyle]

You feel like what?

[Simon]

I feel like we have it good, you know, Like. Yeah, we're pretty set.

[Lyle]

You sound like you don't have as much of a boner for it as I do.

[Simon]

Well, it's because when you live in Denmark from, like, if you're from. Do you know what Jutland is? It's the main part of Denmark which connects to Germany.

[Lyle]

Yeah.

[Simon]

So when you're from Jutland, like me, then you find people from Copenhagen, like, even the Danish ones, to be quite arrogant, if that makes sense.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Oh, now I feel like a dick.

[Simon]

No, no, it's kind of like an. It's an internal thing in Denmark, because, like, in Jutland, where I'm from, like, everyone is going to greet you even though you don't know them. And that's a very, very bizarre thing in Denmark. I know in, like, United States and stuff, people talk a lot, like, even though you don't know them. But in Denmark, it's, like, kind of seen as rude to be talking to people, especially in Copenhagen. But in Jutland, where I'm from, we just say hi and greet each other and. But there's not much of that in Copenhagen. Like, people just mind their own business.

[Lyle]

Interesting. Interesting.

[Simon]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Why is it considered rude to talk to people?

[Simon]

I don't know if it's considered rude, but it's just like, in Denmark, like, Danish people, we have our own thing going on, like, our own agenda, and we know where we're going. So a lot of the time, if we get interrupted in that, it's kind of seen as not particularly rude, but just.

[Lyle]

Mmm.

[Simon]

Kind of a disruption in one's day, one might think. Yeah.

[Lyle]

So let's say that we're at the grocery store and the line is long, and I turn around and I'm like, this line is Pretty long, huh? Would that be rude in Denmark?

[Simon]

It wouldn't be rude, but the person behind you would definitely think, huh. Why do you need to point that out to me? So, yeah.

[Lyle]

Do you make conversation with strangers ever, or. Well, where do you live again? Joplin in Aarhus.

[Simon]

It's the main part of Denmark, connected to Germany is called Jutland, so it's, like, the main city there.

[Lyle]

Okay, cool. And so you. And you guys think that people from Copenhagen are douchebags?

[Simon]

Kind of. You can. You can look at a little bit like, we're the farmers in Jutland and then the business people in Copenhagen. So in Jutland, we're farmers, and we're, like, greeting each other, and, you know, I got a partner, and. But in Copenhagen, there's not really time for that. I imagine it would be, like, kind of the same rush as New York, but not with that many people, of course.

[Lyle]

Mm. Mm. Well, what's your name again?

[Simon]

My name is Simon.

[Lyle]

Simon. Well, Simon, I assume that you called in for more than just to hear me gush about the city people. So what's up, man? How you doing?

[Simon]

The past, like, half a year has been kind of hectic for me. I think I lost my girlfriend. I had a very hectic move out of an apartment because the guy I was renting it from was doing some illegal shit. And I came home one late one night and could see, like, I could see my window. And, like, the rest of the apartment was dark. But, like, he was in my stuff looking with a flashlight. And my. My theory is he was looking for the contract, like, where we had signs that I could live there. And if he found that because it wasn't digitized, so if you find the physical copy, then I wouldn't have proof that I could live there. So he can kick me out, like, right away. So, yeah, it's been kind of hectic, but I've moved to a new place where I live alone, which is so nice. And, yeah, things are kind of quiet now, but it's kind of eerie because, you know, so much stuff happened, and now it's just, like, back to baseline.

[Lyle]

Yeah. How is baseline for you?

[Simon]

And that's the thing. It's kind of. Baseline is nice, but I have to make a. Like, a lot of effort to make something happen. Like, if I have hobbies, I painted Warhammer. Warhammer miniatures. But I have to make quite an effort to, like, kickstart that hobby again.

[Lyle]

Why do you feel like it's taking you such an effort to kickstart your hobbies again?

[Simon]

I feel I'm probably. My idea is that I have adhd, so I have, like, my focus and my interest is shifting a lot, and I find it very hard to, like, delve into something where my interest isn't in it. So, for example, then I have, like, this period of two months where I paint a lot of Warhammer and spend a lot of money on it, and then it just, like, fizzles out and. Yeah, I'm kind of just waiting for it naturally to return because it should be fun doing your hobby. It shouldn't be an obligation or like a chore.

[Lyle]

Right, right. Is it like a. Like a brain chemistry thing?

[Simon]

Yes, if you get really specific, it is because it's kind of like being dopamine addicted. But I just need and want more dopamine than normal people in quotation. Right.

[Lyle]

Yes, I'm familiar with that. What are your current sources of dopamine?

[Simon]

So I take medicine for my adhd and whenever I do, it's not kind of a problem. But when I don't, I eat a lot to, like, just keep. Not because I'm hungry, but just to keep, like, the dopamine flowing. The. Oh, I know you've talked about, like, eating a pint of, you know, Ben and Jerry's, and that would be like, the kick. So, yeah, when I don't take my medicine, which is during the weekends, and when I'm hungover, then I eat a lot.

[Lyle]

Wow. What medicine do you take? I'm curious.

[Simon]

It's something called L. Vance. It's like amphetamine, but it just releases very slowly.

[Lyle]

Wait, wait, say it again.

[Simon]

Advance.

[Lyle]

Advance. Or Vyvanse.

[Simon]

L. Vance.

[Lyle]

Lvanse. Okay.

[Simon]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Is it like a stimulant?

[Simon]

I think so. Like, the way I kind of know how it works is that it's just like amphetamine, but then released over the course of, like, the whole day in very small doses. So whenever the ADHD brain would lose focus or anything, then instead of losing focus, it was with. It will give like a kick of amphetamine or something. And then you would keep your focus.

[Lyle]

Yeah, I actually just started taking. I took a Vyvanse for the first time in a while yesterday, and it made me feel like it gave me so much like dopamine, and it was great. It is so interesting to think about how much of this shit is, like, just yet. Chasing. Chasing brain chemicals, you know? Yeah, well, fucking pill can. You know, you think it's all these external things, but you take a pill and everything changes. And your external is the same, but the way you view it is different.

[Simon]

Yeah, I actually had. When I started ADHD medicine, when I first got diagnosed, I. I started on a different kind of medication, and I felt like I would get this filter on my feelings. So beforehand, when we would, like when my parents would make my favorite dish for dinner, I would be, like, really happy. And then when they told me after dinner, I had to do the dishes, and then I would get really pissed. But then when I got the medication, it just sort of turned off my feelings, so everything was kind of gray. So I feel like for some people, some medications, like, really does the trick. But for me, like, most of the medications just make me feel, like, bland and gray.

[Lyle]

Go ahead, go ahead.

[Simon]

It might just be because. It might just be because it, like, turns off that dopamine hit, you know, how is.

[Lyle]

How is the one you're taking now making you feel?

[Simon]

It's, it's. It's the medicine that least affected my mood, I think. But I view myself as two different people. Like, when I take my medicine and when I don't, like, I feel vastly different.

[Lyle]

Whoa. Two different people. Tell me what the two different people are.

[Simon]

It's not really two different people, but it's just like two. Two different mindsets, I think. So the way my unmedicated self would view and tackle a situation is one thing, and then when I'm medicated, I would tackle it another way.

[Lyle]

Do you feel like it's better when you're medicated?

[Simon]

Yeah, for sure. For, like, different things, like studying, working, getting stuff done around the house. All those kind of. All those things kind of get easier. And also, I think if people were to, like, be with me socially, then if I medicated, I'm much more. They could be with me for a longer period. Period of time and not get irritated with me. But if I'm off my medicine, then I'm can be kind of intense.

[Lyle]

Interesting. Intense. Intense in what way?

[Simon]

Intense and just like, the emotions, like, if I feel joy, I feel a lot of joy. I'm like, jump around. I'm like, in an energetic, like. Like a kid, maybe.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

And so you feel like that your emotions are too intense, that, like, people. Other people can't handle it.

[Simon]

Some people can. I feel myself, like, kind of weirdly magnetized to other people with adhd, and they have a much higher tolerance because they can, like, they. They kind of get it, you know?

[Lyle]

Yeah, I. I feel that way too. I also kind of feel myself magnetized to people with adhd, you know, like, Other people, people who also like have like weird struggles or like feel life very intensely. You know, as a person who feels life very intensely, it is bizarre to even like feel fathom the mind of somebody who like isn't feeling life very intensely. It sounds sick. I'd like to not feel life very intensely.

[Simon]

It makes more of a mellow experience in life. I think if you, if you don't then you won't spike as much.

[Lyle]

It's, it's a, it's a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing and a curse. And it kind of, I guess depends on how you want to look at it because I don't know, some people like don't ever think about any of this shit or feel very intensely.

[Simon]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Which is a more certainly a more comfortable way to go through life. But I don't. These aren't things that I think you choose. Think some. Yeah, these aren't things you choose. These are just things you're fucking born with and deal with and whatnot.

[Simon]

Yeah, I, I've always used like the analogy of like Jim Carrey because he has adhd and you can clearly like, you can clearly tell by most of his roles in films that he's just like a bomb of energy and I think that's his adhd, like him challenging, channeling his ADHD into something positive and making a career out of it. But yeah, that's that. I've always said that's a good analogy of someone using their diet, like their diagnosis to do good.

[Lyle]

Do you what are your hopes and dreams for life, Mr. Simon?

[Simon]

I don't fucking know, Lyle. And that's the, that's the worst part because right now I work, I'm at work right now and I work for the Danish railway company and there's like one big one doing all of the trains in Denmark and it's kind of a dead end job. You know, I, I can't move up in the ranks and I'm kind of disposable because it's just a service. I sell stuff from 711 in a train. So yeah, it's kind of, it's comfortable right now. It pays the bills and I can live and it's fine. But as for my dreams and hopes, I don't know. I would really like to do something with animals like and sanctuary and like I'm preferably exotic animals.

[Lyle]

Where does one go to work with exotic animals in Denmark?

[Simon]

They go to the zookeeper school. But the problem is that Denmark is so small that when you're looking for an. I don't know what it's called in English, but kind of an internship in Denmark you have. And you contact the. The. The business or the zoo and then. But Denmark is so small that we don't have sus. Enough sus for everyone to get an internship. So you might get put on a waiting list for like a year or two. Just right in the middle of your education to be.

[Lyle]

Hmm. Okay. So you. In order for you to get this internship, there's a long wait list.

[Simon]

Yeah, that might be. That's the kind of thing you don't really know before you apply.

[Lyle]

What about just get. Can you just get a parrot? You just get a pet parrot.

[Simon]

I actually had a bearded dragon once.

[Lyle]

Mmm. Yeah. Couldn't you be like. You could be like the. The Tiger King of Denmark and just start your own illegal zoo.

[Simon]

Have you seen Common Side Effects? The show on hbo?

[Lyle]

Yeah, yeah. I love that show.

[Simon]

I would love to be the brother to that guy. I don't know, I don't remember his name, but like seat or something.

[Lyle]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I actually know. I know. Yeah, yeah. I know exactly the scene that you're talking about. That guy who just owns a bunch of like, exotic pets and shit.

[Simon]

Yeah, yeah. I love to be that guy, though.

[Lyle]

That's very funny that you reference that and. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I couldn't you could you just open a fucking pet shop in Denmark? How easy is that?

[Simon]

In Denmark, there's like so many regulations, and I believe there are animals as well, and especially exotic animals, and if they're venomous, it gets kind of like. It gets even more difficult. But I know the pool in Denmark who have like, snakes and drain their venom and stuff like that. They need to like, have kind of a military grade permission to do so.

[Lyle]

Interesting.

[Simon]

I believe. Don't quote me on that.

[Lyle]

Yeah. The Tiger King does feel like a kind of uniquely American thing, it seems that requires very little regulations.

[Calvin]

Yeah.

[Simon]

Have you ever seen. There's like this one streamer girl. I don't remember her name, but she's friends with Cutie Cinderella and Ludwig has been over there and she has this kind of sanctuary out in the middle of nowhere and invites streamers over to, like, participate and feed the animals.

[Lyle]

No. Who is it?

[Simon]

I don't remember her name at all, but I just like a bunch of my favorite dreamers have. Has visited the sanctuary. And that would be like the ultimate, like the ultimate dream just to like, take care of 20 or 25 animals.

[Lyle]

What's. What animal would be the crown jewel of your exotic animal zoo.

[Simon]

Mr. Lyle, you know this. It would be a gecko.

[Lyle]

Listen, man. Here, let me tell you something. Let me tell you something, all right? I'm gonna make a pact with you, all right? In 30. In 30 years, if both of us still don't know what to do with our lives, I'll fucking. I'll dress. I don't know where my gecko suits will be at that age, but I'll. I'll dress up as a lizard and move to Denmark, and I'll just be in a cage. And you can. You can drive me around and we'll do like a little exotic animal freak show around Denmark.

[Simon]

Hell, yeah. That would be so cool. I would feed you well, too. I'm a good caretaker.

[Lyle]

Yeah. What. What kind of what. What do we got? What's the spin? Jesus.

[Simon]

It's kind of. Kind of tempting now.

[Lyle]

Very tempting. I actually, last night I. Yeah, did I feel you on the dopamine last night I go puffed. God, man. Last night, fucking go puffed. A pint of Ben and Jerry's, Some hot Pockets and some party mix. And I actually, I only. I only ate half the pint of Ben Jerry's, but the other half is in the freezer right now. And I'm thinking about. Thinking about eating it. Thinking about eating. It's too much, man. It's too much. I've been. I've been. I've also. Yeah, dude, I've also been having like a crazy dopamine deficiency. I'm eating like a pint of Ben and Jerry's a day. It's. It's crazy, man.

[Simon]

So it's even when you, like, feel full, like when you don't need to eat more food because your body is full and you feel that, but you still keep eating because it tastes so good.

[Lyle]

Well, yeah, of course. Of course. By the way, Ben. Ben and Jerry's ice cream is not, you know, is not for satiation purposes. No, it's not for. You don't get. You don't get full on ice cream. You know.

[Simon]

I've actually worked in an ice cream store one time.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Did you get. Did you get to eat a lot of ice cream?

[Simon]

I did, but I very, very quickly got tired of ice cream and didn't want to eat it.

[Lyle]

That's sad, man. How do you. How do you know that's not gonna happen with these exotic animals? You know, like, you just spending so much time around bearded dragons that it doesn't even excite you anymore?

[Simon]

It's actually kind of kind of crazy. You mentioned it. Because I got pretty tired of the bearded dragon when I had it. But I think, like, it would be kind of. I was a kid then, and I would really, like, like, the responsibility of taking care of not just one, but, like, multiple animals. And, like, kind of have a feeling that I'm helping, doing good. Because I always see these animals, like, kind of going extinct and getting hunted everywhere. So, yeah, I feel like I would be different. And also with, like, me being more mature.

[Lyle]

Simon, this was a good conversation, man. I enjoyed talking to you.

[Simon]

Yeah, you could.

[Lyle]

I hope. I. You know. Look, man, we're. I hope we figure out our. What? Whatever the fuck's going on in the brain that makes us eat shit and go crazy.

[Simon]

Well, I can probably tell you already that we probably won't because the brain is so weird.

[Lyle]

No, don't say that. Fuck. Fuck you, Simon. Fuck you, Simon. I believe. I believe that both of us will figure it out, okay? We're both gonna figure it out. You can't say that. You can't say that. We won't, Simon. You can't.

[Simon]

I believe as well.

[Lyle]

Do you really? I hope that's the first step to believing, is to just say it, even if you don't.

[Simon]

Yeah. Well, I do believe. I do believe that we will figure it out someday.

[Lyle]

How old are you, man? I'm curious.

[Simon]

I'm 25.

[Lyle]

All right, cool. We're about the same age. Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah. Do you ever. Do you ever go to Copenhagen? Or are you, like, it's all. Everyone there is too douchey?

[Simon]

No, I do. And the girlfriend I broke up with actually lived there, so I was there quite a lot. And because I work for the railway company, I have street travel, like, free travel across all them. So I could just go there whenever I want.

[Lyle]

How's your love life been since the gif? The gif?

[Simon]

It's been kind of crazy. Like, the first girl I dated after her was, like, a Satanist, but she was kind of sweet, but a Satanist nonetheless, and kind of intense.

[Lyle]

How so?

[Simon]

Just, like, in everything. Like, in emotions. I remember, like, when I met her, the night that I met her, like. Like, this other girl came in, which I have. Which I have seen, like, in the past, my life, and she came to say hi, and just, like, put a hand on my shoulder and said, hey, Simon. And I was like, hey. And then the girl, the sickness girl, she was just gone instantly because she felt a vice. But I'm.

[Lyle]

Are you gonna try to, like, go on more Dates and stuff.

[Simon]

Yeah, I'm kind of trying to practice practic ethical dating. So no ghosting, no being a dick. Being clear about boundaries and what you are looking for in like dating.

[Lyle]

Interesting, Interesting. Wait, tell me more about this ethical dating. Like you're like, no ghosting, no like letting things trail off, like firmly ending and being like, like. Tell me, tell me more about this philosophy.

[Simon]

I don't know if I have the time. Then I. I have to put you down for a minute because I have to get some gear on and then I can take you up again. Can you hang on?

[Lyle]

Oh, you have, you have to go. You have to get out of here.

[Simon]

No, not get out of here, but I have to go to where the train is. So I just have to get like a gear on. It's going to take five seconds and then I can tell you on the way there.

[Lyle]

Okay. All right, one sec. All right. Yeah, tell me more about, tell me more about your ethical dating philosophy.

[Simon]

Yeah, so in a world where like, like in the modern world where there's so much ghosting, there's so much non responsive, I just kind of got tired of it and decided that change starts with yourself. And, and I've actually gotten a lot of positive feedback on it. Like this one girl when I was dating the Satanist. Then there was this other girl I met with on Tinder and I just told her that I was seeing someone else and that I wanted to know where that went. And she was like, cool, text me if it ever goes bad or you're ever not seeing her again. And that worked out fine. And I texted her afterwards and we kind of met up after that.

[Lyle]

How was, how was that meeting?

[Simon]

It was good. Like we didn't really click in a lot of ways. We had a good conversation and that was it, but not really leading to anything further.

[Lyle]

Mm. Yeah. I think it can be hard emotionally to always be like, I don't know, it can be hard for some people to like communicate everything all the time because it's like, well, is this too much after having just, you know, met once and you know, a lot of people I think kind of struggle with, with that.

[Simon]

Yeah. I feel like in then, then Denmark, people just avoid the confrontation of it and. But it's not that bad. Like now I've tried it a couple of times just being honest and being like, hey, I don't think we should see each other anymore. And people actually do take it or I mean, women do. I don't know about men. I've heard a lot of scary stories about men who can't tolerate being rejected. But I've had a lot of good experiences with women, like, open and upfront about it.

[Lyle]

Do you feel like it is a European thing to be, like, direct? I know, I know. Like, in Amp. Like, in. In the Netherlands, there's a whole thing of, like. Like, Dutch directness. Like, people are very good at communicating.

[Simon]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Do you think it's a European thing?

[Simon]

It might be, but I don't think we're good at it. In Denmark, Like, I hear stories from, like, my, like, platonic girlfriend, like, my friend. Friends who are women. That. And there's a lot of bad acts out there.

[Lyle]

So are you. What's your. What's your, like, dating goal? Are you trying to get married and all that?

[Simon]

Well, I don't know about marriage. I'm not. Like, that's not kind of my main focus, but my main focus is definitely a family and kids.

[Lyle]

Nice.

[Simon]

Like, I really want to be a dad, like, a lot.

[Lyle]

Nice. Are you trying to be a dad, like. Like. Like, soon? You trying to be, like, a young dad?

[Simon]

No, no, I'm trying to be a dad, like, with the right woman, so that, like, my goal as a dad is to be the best dad possible. So that will only make sense if I have the best wife possible. Like, mother as well.

[Lyle]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, man. It's the most important decision you can make in your life.

[Simon]

Yeah, it is.

[Lyle]

That's cool.

[Simon]

So that's, like, my end goal. Well, nothing like.

[Lyle]

Yeah, we're gonna figure. We're gonna figure out the brains. We're gonna figure out the brain. Simon. I'm gonna manifest. I don't know if I believe in manifestation, but I'm gonna manifest for us. Okay. All right. We're both gonna figure out the brain. We're both gonna have beautiful wives and children.

[Simon]

And children. Yeah.

[Lyle]

And. And you're gonna have a be. You're gonna have an animal sanctuary, and I'm gonna have, like.

[Simon]

That feels like a lot on my plate, though, to both have a family and an.

[Lyle]

Yeah, maybe that is a lot. Maybe that is a lot. Not all at once. Not all at once. Maybe when you're, like, 70 or some shit. Maybe when you're 70.

[Simon]

I'm just gonna smoke weed when I'm 70 and for the rest of my life.

[Lyle]

You can. Fuck, man. You can do that now.

[Simon]

I am doing that now. But, like, I'm definitely gonna increase in amount of weed smoking when I get older, I think.

[Lyle]

I mean, at that point, just. Do you know Heroin or something. Well, by the time you're 70, there's gonna be some. I mean, there's new drugs all the time. Like, ketamine has become popular, and what is it, 2C2. Sweet. The pink one. So by the time you're 70, there's gonna be some. You know, there's gonna be super weed or some new thing to snort or inject or put up your ass and, you know, probably be doing that.

[Simon]

Yeah, you might be able to smoke your ADHD medicine later in life.

[Lyle]

Smoking Adderall sounds nutso.

[Simon]

That could be crazy, though.

[Lyle]

Simon. All right, I'm gonna. I'm gonna end this phone call so that I can go eat Ben and Jerry's.

[Simon]

That. That sounds really nice.

[Lyle]

Brother. It was nice talking to you. I really hope that you do figure things out. And, yeah, I'm gonna. I'm gonna come to Denmark at some point. I don't know what.

[Simon]

Please do. I promise I'm gonna be at your show. Or if you're not gonna do a show, then hit me up. We'll go to Christina.

[Lyle]

Oh, actually sounds nice. Yeah, I did a show in Copenhagen a couple years ago. Maybe I'll do another one. Who knows, who knows, who knows, who knows?

[Simon]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

Simon, is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?

[Simon]

I guess just kind of stay fresh, stay positive.

[Lyle]

Beautiful.

[Simon]

Believe.

[Lyle]

Take care, Simon.

[Simon]

Take care, man.

[Lyle]

Maybe I'll start an animal sanctuary. No. All those animals would be fucked if I had an animal sanctuary. If you're an animal out there, you better pray you don't end up in my sanctuary, because I can't even take care of a plant. Maybe I'll have a Diet Coke. Sanctuary. Yeah, that sounds more. That sounds like more of a thing I can take care of. Hey, folks. This episode is sponsored by ChatGPT Plus. ChatGPT plus is free for college students now through May. That means you have no limits on how many ways you can prompt ChatGPT to help you through the worst part of the school year. There's many ways you can do this, but. Like uploading your class notes and having ChatGPT quiz you on them. Or asking ChatGPT to take a complicated concept and try to explain it to you in simpler terms to help you understand. You can even use it to help design a diet and exercise plan that optimizes your energy for studying. You can use the voice feature to practice interviewing for jobs post graduation. You can use it to practice a new language for a summer trip abroad. It can help you Organize your hectic schedule so you can block out time to study certain subjects and make sure you're getting things done. There are endless ways that ChatGPT plus can help you on your academic journey. ChatGPT plus free for college students through May restrictions apply. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities, so do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail].

[Unknown]

Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra fee full [e-mail] not.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Everyone who handles your personal information is going to be as careful as you are. And it only takes one mistake to expose it to hackers and identity theft. Maybe that's why there's a new victim of identity theft every five seconds in the United States. Fortunately, there's Lifelock. Lifelock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity. If your identity is stolen, a LifeLock US based restoration specialist will help solve identity theft issues on your behalf, guaranteed or your money back. Plus, all LifeLock plans are backed by the million dollar protection package, meaning Lifelock will reimburse you up to the limits of your plan if you lose money due to identity theft. You can't control how diligent others are with your personal information, but with Lifelock you can help protect it. Act now and save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code iheart or go to lifelock.com iheart for 40% off. Terms apply.

[Lyle]

Hi, this is Jevon, your blinds.com design consultant.

[Unknown]

Oh, wow, a real person.

[Lyle]

Yep. I'm here to help with everything from selecting the perfect window treatments to wow.

[Unknown]

Mm. I've got a complicated project.

[Lyle]

No problem. We make the complex simple. I can even help schedule a professional measuring install.

[Unknown]

I didn't realize you did that.

[Lyle]

We can also send you samples fast and free. Wow.

[Unknown]

I mean, I always thought I needed a designer to come to my home, but scheduling's always a nightmare.

[Lyle]

Notwithblinds.com, we're on your schedule. And there's no haggling, pressure or hidden fees either.

[Unknown]

Hmm.

I just might have to do more.

[Lyle]

Whatever you need. How about you tell Me what you had in mind.

[Unknown]

Okay then. So the first rum looking at is for guests coming over and I'm thinking of something.

[Rachel]

Blinds.com has covered over 25 million windows all backed by a 100% satisfaction guarantee.

[Lyle]

Shoplines.com now and save up to 40%.

[Simon]

Site wide rules and restrictions may apply.

[Lyle]

Hello.

[Calvin]

Yes?

[Lyle]

Hi. What is your name?

[Calvin]

My name is Calvin.

[Lyle]

Calvin, like Calvin Klein?

[Simon]

Yes.

[Lyle]

Do you get that a lot? Do people say that to you a lot?

[Calvin]

Oh yes, definitely.

[Lyle]

Do you feel like Calvin Klein?

[Calvin]

Not really. I wish I was rich like Calvin Klein.

[Lyle]

Is he rich or dead or. I guess you could. I guess you can't be. Can you be rich and dead? I guess when you're dead you no longer own things. So he's either rich or dead. Is he rich or dead? Whatever. I mean I love him, he cares about him. Let's talk about you. Let's talk about you, Calvin. I'm so in the mood to talk to you right now. I really am. I, I, you're, I'm really gonna treat this conversation like you and me are the only two people on the planet earth for the rest of eternity. So I'm here. I'm ready. Whatever you got to throw out, I will, I will catch it. You could if. Now, if you want to say something crazy and insane and horrible, I, I, now's the time to do it because I'm ready for whatever you got to go on right now.

[Calvin]

Well, to be quite honest, man, I've been going through a lot. Like I'm trying to go through a breakup at the same time. My ex girlfriend wants to get back on me, but she's playing mind games yet she wants to get back with me, but she's talking to other guys and I'm not sure what to do about that.

[Lyle]

Okay, so you're going through. But when you say you're going through a breakup, this is. And the ex that wants to get back to you. These are. There's one woman in the story. There's not multiple.

[Calvin]

Yeah, there's only one woman.

[Lyle]

Okay. And how old are you? I just want to know.

[Calvin]

I am 24.

[Lyle]

24. And tell me about this woman. Tell me about the relationship you had with her.

[Calvin]

Well, to be honest, when I was with her, she kept always yelling at me and kept trying to gaslight me when she kept trying to say I never listened to her, I never did anything she wanted me to do, yet I did everything for I bent over backwards and I loved her. She meant everything to me and I didn't I. I just did everything she wanted me to do. Like, I thought what she did. What she did was love. And I'm not sure you thought what.

[Lyle]

She did was love. What do you mean by what she did?

[Calvin]

I mean, I'm used to being gaslighted, and I thought when I got with her things would be different, but apparently she told me lies and I just fed into it, and I. You know, I just wanted to believe her, you know? Like, I. I just wanted to be with her. And I don't know, like, dude, like, I've been wor. I've been with her for. Off and on for two years, and I love her.

[Lyle]

Dude, why do you love her?

[Calvin]

Because, truth be told, like, her and I connected more. Her and I had a lot of common, but at the same time, I had a lot of trauma for my exes in the past. And after her and I broke up and I saw, you know, my. My eyes open up and I thought, you know, she told me she loved me. She did all these things for me. She bought me gifts, and, you know, she was trying to praise me, and I thought that was love, but apparently that's not love at all. That's what my friends are trying to tell me.

[Lyle]

Oh, what are your friends. What are your friends telling you?

[Calvin]

My friends are trying to tell me she's being a narcissist by telling me Elias, and trying to gaslight me to try to get back with her. And what she did was not love because she. She was trying to yell at me, trying to tell me that I didn't listen to her. I. Like, I didn't do anything around the house, but, yeah, I did everything for her. I cleaned for her, I cooked for her, I bought her things, I paid her rent and everything, but yet, apparently, things are not going her way.

[Lyle]

How long has it been since you talked to this lady?

[Calvin]

To be honest, this morning.

[Lyle]

This morning. Are you going on dates? You seeing anyone else?

[Calvin]

Not right now. Not at all.

[Lyle]

What else is going on in your life?

[Calvin]

Well, you know, to be honest, I've been trying to go out more with my friends, try to try to get my mind off of things. Tried to get me into an environment where I feel like I'm accepted and where my friends want me to, you know, feel like I'm okay.

[Lyle]

That sounds great. You sound like you have good friends or have you been hanging out with them a lot?

[Calvin]

Oh, yes, of course. Like, the other day, my friends took me to get a couple drinks at the bar, and my. My ex kept trying to blow My phone up. She's like, where are you at? What are you doing? I'm like, I'm just hanging out with my friend. She's like, oh, my friends, Are they good friends? And she's like, are you trying to talk to any woman? I'm like, no, I'm just hanging on my friends having a few beers.

[Lyle]

Mmm. You know, look, I'm gonna, you know, I'll. I'll say this. Meh. Calvin, I'm really no expert on these things, but I have these kind of amorphous thoughts and feelings about love and relationships and. And how to handle it and, you know, I mean, at the end of the day, right, like, you want to be in a relationship with someone that you feel safe and comfortable and secure around. And I don't know. I don't know you, but you said this lady is, like, yelling at you and. And you know, you guys broke up, but she's being jealous and it's like, do you feel secure and safe around this lady?

[Calvin]

Well, I moved away from her, and I feel a lot safer being away from her. Like, now I'm seven hours away from her, and ever since I moved away, I feel a lot more safer. But yet she was trying to get me come back to her, you know.

[Lyle]

What do you want to do with your life, man? Because where you're at now, you got all these friends.

[Calvin]

I'm in North Dakota with all my friends, and truth be told, I want to become a streamer. Like, when I was with her, I had to put that on pause because she got mad at me for trying to, you know, trying to try to make content. And now with my free time, I'm trying to put more content out for people, you know?

[Lyle]

Wait a minute. She got mad. Why did you. Why was she mad at you for trying to make content.

[Calvin]

She said that she thought content. More content was more important than her. In which I. I told her she was more important content. But yet her mind, she thought that trying to make.

[Lyle]

Come on, man. Come on, come on. Calvin. Calvin. Oh, God. Oh, man. Calvin. Listen, brother, my friend, Calvin, you got. Just from my perspective, you got a nice setup going on. Really? You got a nice setup going on. You got a thing you want to do. You got good ass friends who, you know, it's. It's a. God, what a gift it is to have, like, other people in your life who give a. About you enough to offer you genuine perspective on your situation and try to knock yourself out of yourself when you're going insane. You know, that's that's lucky. You're blessed to have that. You. You want to stay around those people. Those are good people that you got around you, you know, and then you don't. And if you. If. If you go back to this lady who doesn't want you to pursue your. Your hobbies and ambitions and who's driving you crazy, you're gonna go crazy, man. You too young for that.

[Calvin]

Yeah.

[Lyle]

I'm not telling you anything.

[Calvin]

Calvin.

[Lyle]

I'm sorry I talked over you, but. Calvin, I'm not telling you anything. I'm not telling you anything. You don't fucking know. You. We're just going around in circus. Because I'm not the first person to tell you this. I can. I can tell that by your friends.

[Calvin]

Oh, yeah.

[Lyle]

The problem is that. The problem is that it's hard, right, because you form a.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That.

[Lyle]

That's the thing. That's what I think. And I want to. I want you to know I empathize with you on this. Because somebody can be like. You can, like. Logically, somebody can be very toxic. And you can know that, and you can know they're not right for you. And you can know in your heart and in your gut that. That you know, yeah, they're not right for you. But what sucks is that. I mean, not what sucks. It just. It just is what it is. It's fucking life. It's like you form a strong connection with them. And that connection, it's a one of one thing. And after a lot of time and a lot of affection and a lot of energy and a lot of love, you build a connection with someone on like a emotional, spiritual, physical level. And your logic and this connection, they don't compute with each other. Your friends are only operating off of logic. That's why they're able to be like, hey, you know, this lady is not. Is not good for you. Because they. They're not blinded by the connection. And the connection is a real thing. And it's painful to let go of that connection. And I empathize with you on that. But logic. Logic usually wins, you know, so. Yeah, and. And if it help makes you feel any better, over time, as you do move yourself in the direction of where you actually want to be in shit, you'll. You'll naturally develop more connections. But I understand. I understand the pain, but listen to your friends, man. God damn, your friends sound cool.

[Calvin]

I will. I appreciate you, Lyle.

[Lyle]

All right. Calvin. Calvin. Calvin. Is there anything else I can do for you at all? Do you want $5?

[Calvin]

I mean, I wish.

[Lyle]

I'll venmo you $5 right now. What's your. What's your. What's your Venmo? I'm Gonna Venmo you $5. Calvin. What's your Venmo? I'm Venmoing you $5. I have no idea why I'm doing this right now. I just said I would. I said I would. Now I have to do it. What's your Venmo?

[Calvin]

Calvin, hold on, brother. I need to go on my cow real quick.

[Lyle]

Okay? Why am I sending you $5? I don't know why it feels like the right thing to do to send you five. I've never. Nobody. No callers on the show. I've ever. You're the first caller on this show to ever get paid. I'm sorry. No, this is, this is not, this is not. This is. I want you to. I want you to know, first of all, Calvin, I, I, I, I love you. I hope you succeed in life.

[Calvin]

I love you, too, man.

[Lyle]

And in. I don't know. And this is not. I'm not going to take credit as this be be. This is more me being manic than me being a good person. But I. It makes me feel good to give you five. What's your Venmo? I'm sending you $5 right now.

[Calvin]

My Venmo is Emo, Em E, M, O, B O I Z 0 as Emo Boy, 00.

[Lyle]

Emo Boy, 00. Okay, Calvin. All right. All right, Calvin, I sent you. All right, Calvin, I sent you $5.

[Calvin]

I appreciate it, brother.

[Lyle]

All right. What are you going to do with it?

[Calvin]

Well, for me, I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna try to get a meal since. With the person I've been living with for the past couple days. I've been starving, and I'm trying to get. Trying to figure out what to do. And my friend, he doesn't do anything about it yet. He works, and he doesn't give me anything at all. And I've been trying to clean his apartment, trying to bend over backwards from everything.

[Lyle]

Wait a minute. Wait. You start. Do you have a. Do you have a job?

[Calvin]

I've been trying to get a job, but every job I applied to has never got back to me at all. And I put a good resume. Like, I have a good resume. Nobody wants to hire me. And I worked at Home Depot. I've worked at Walmart, everywhere. And I have good covers, I have good customer service, yet I don't let my autism get in the way of anything.

[Lyle]

Hmm. Okay. Okay, okay, well, listen, don't, don't listen. Listen to your friends. Don't let this lady drive you crazy. And I wish I had something more cool. And also I wish I had something cooler to say to you than just keep trying, but just keep trying, man.

[Calvin]

I appreciate you and everybody. Yeah. Just. I'm trying. I'm trying to keep myself on my feet. Just my mental health has been draining me and I'm not trying to let that get in the way.

[Lyle]

Covenant. Calvin, is there anything else you want to say to the people, the computer before we go?

[Calvin]

All I can say is find the woman who means the most to you and find a woman who treats you how you want to be treated. Don't let her treat you any other way. You want to be loved. And if a woman gaslights you or treats you like any sort of way, that is not love. You need to find the one person who means the world to you and you truly know she would be the one for you. And she deserves to know that you. You deserve everything in the war, like love, honesty, loyalty, communication. You deserve everything. From that as. From my perspective, as I've been through many relationships. And for right now, I'm sticking to myself and you know, like, I just want everybody to find true love. And I just. I want everyone to deserve what they want, you know, in life. I want everyone to be happy.

[Lyle]

You're a sweet boy, Calvin. You're a sweet boy. Thank you for calling my show Calvin. Okay, Good luck.

[Calvin]

Thank you. And I hope everyone has a good night.

[Lyle]

Okay, Good luck, Calvin.

[Calvin]

Thank you. Have a good night, Gear girl.

[Lyle]

Calvin's a sweet boy. Calvin's a sweet guy. I have zero regrets sending him $5. Nobody else call me and ask me for $5. That was the only time I'm ever gonna do that. When. That's what happens when I get. That's what happens when I. When I get really hopped. Hopped up on caffeine and Vyvanse is I tell people I love them and I send them $5. And I'm. By the way, hold on. Just so you know, in my soul, I actually do love Calvin. In this moment, I feel. I feel like a lot of. I guess the like. But in my gut is like is just a. There's love. And I think Diet Mountain Dew. It brings it to the surface and makes me want to give. It just makes me want to give that guy $5. I might wake up in the morning and be like, I'm not gonna regret giving him $5, but I'm like, I don't know, I'm crazy. I know I'm acting like I'm acting like a crazy person. I feel for Calvin. I really do. I feel for Calvin. Again. That's the thing, right, is you, you can have a, you can again, logically know that there are problems. Well, so much of life is just the fucking battle that you as a human being have with what you like, logically know to be good and bad, right? There's like what is a part of your brain that logically knows how you should be treated and what is good and what is bad and blah, blah, blah. And then you have the emotional part of your brain that it doesn't want to lose things or people is horny that, that, that you up. So, so I, I, I, I feel for Calvin in his battle within his own brain. Hey folks. This episode is sponsored by ChatGPT Plus. ChatGPT plus is free for college students now through May. That means you have no limits on how many ways you can prompt ChatGPT to to help you through the worst part of the school year. There's many ways you can do this, like uploading your class notes and having ChatGPT quiz you on them. Or asking ChatGPT to take a complicated concept and try to explain it to you in simpler terms to help you understand. You can even use it to help design a diet and exercise plan that optimizes your energy for studying. You can use the voice feature to practice interviewing for jobs post graduation. You can use it to practice a new language for a summer trip abroad. It can help you organize your hectic schedule so you can block out time to study certain subjects and make sure you're getting things done. There are endless ways that ChatGPT plus can help you on your academic journey. ChatGPT plus free for college students through May. Restrictions apply.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Unknown]

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[Lyle]

Hello.

[Rachel]

Hello.

[Lyle]

Hi. What is your name?

[Rachel]

Rachel.

[Lyle]

Rachel. What's up, Rachel? How's life?

[Rachel]

It's going well. I just graduated college, so. That's great.

[Lyle]

Exciting. Congratulations.

[Simon]

Thank you.

[Lyle]

Rachel, is there anything in particular that you wanted to talk about today?

[Rachel]

I wanted to tell you the story of my uncle's disappearance.

[Lyle]

Your uncle's disappearance? Sure.

[Rachel]

Okay, so we have to start from the very beginning. Before I was born, my uncle was disowned by my grandfather and moved to a Native American reservation. That's the beginning. We are not Native American, so I don't know like what the rules are with that, but I don't know. And Then my grandfather passed away. So then he moved back home when he was hit by a bus and he became disabled. The bus was a government vehicle, so he got a lot of money in a lawsuit, so he became a millionaire. Do you have any questions so far?

[Lyle]

No.

[Rachel]

Okay, so let's fast forward. I'm in eighth grade. Not right now, but back in the day, I was in eighth grade. And he wanted to move with, like, all this money that he had, and he was, like, struggling a little bit. And so my mom was like, okay, yeah, you can stay with us. We can help you find a place to live, yada, yada, yada. So my mom has six siblings, and she's, like, very known to help them out when they're in need. So he lived with us for, like, a month. Like, came to my eighth grade soccer games. Everything was fine. And, like, he was my favorite uncle. And, like, I just thought he was so funny. Like, he was always super outgoing. Turns out he was deep in alcoholism, which I know that now, but at the time, I was just like, this. This guy's awesome. And then he moved to, like, a beach in, I want to say, like, Delaware. Eventually, he lived with us for, like, two months. And then after that, we didn't really hear from him. Like, I saw pictures of the house. Like, he was, like, living his life. Like, he was peaceful. And then, like, a few months later, my mom's like, I haven't heard from your uncle. And we're all like, okay, well, he's probably just, like, living his best life on a beach somewhere, drinking a 30 rack, a bush light, just, like, having a great time. And then another month passes. My mom's like, okay, like, something's going on. And turns out my uncle had met this woman who claimed to have been in love with him. And she said that she was, like, a gem dealer and, like, sold diamonds and, like, different precious gems. And allegedly that wasn't true at all. And she just, like, took all of his money, like, from that big lawsuit back in the day. And then after that, like, we didn't hear from him at all for, like, months. So my mom was, like, in contact with, like, a private investigator and, like, all these police departments, and, like, no one knew where he was, but he had, like, a car.

[Lyle]

So.

[Rachel]

Eventually, my mom gets a call. I want to say this is, like, another, like, three months later. So at this point, I'm, like, a sophomore in high school. My mom gets a call, and they're like, we found him. We found him. So this is great news to Me, because this is my favorite uncle. And I'm like, we need the laughs back. And my mom's like, well, he's in Florida. And so I'm not from Florida. I did go to college there. But, like, he got from Delaware to Florida, and turns out he is now homeless. So he has this car, and he has these two homeless accomplices who he lives with out of the car, and there's some sort of, I don't know, ruckus going down in Florida, but, like, there's always a ruckus going down in Florida. And so, like, we're like, okay, we found him. But then. But then a few months later, my mom gets a Facebook message from a random woman in, like, the most western part of Virginia possible. And, like, this place. This is not a place that you want to be at. It's like, Confederate flags everywhere. Like, very scary shacks in, like, on top of hills type shit. And this Facebook message is like, are you my uncle's sister? And she's like, yes. And it's like, he's dead. This was horrible. This was a big, big, horrible things happening to me when I was a sophomore because I was like, I'm never gonna get to hang out with my alcoholic uncle who harasses waitresses at restaurants while I'm six years old. Like, yeah. Yes. Chat. Rest in power. Rest in power. So I'm 15 years old at this point, and my mother is like, you know what would be a great family bonding experience? If you used your learner's permit to drive with me five hours to buff Egypt and retrieve our uncle's body. So I'm like, wait.

[Lyle]

You wait. You're living in Egypt?

[Rachel]

No, no, no. Like, it's just, like, me saying, but nowhere. But saying, but Egypt.

[Lyle]

Okay, okay, Wait, so this is. It's in America, it's not in Egypt?

[Rachel]

Wait, yeah, no, no, we're. No, we're in Virginia.

[Unknown]

Sorry.

[Lyle]

All right. Yeah, that was. That was very confusing to say that. To say that you're driving to Egypt.

[Rachel]

Someone just said, hey, daughter. You know, it would be super trauma.

[Lyle]

Oh, do me. Can you not. Can you not. Can you not look at the chat?

[Rachel]

Okay, okay, well, look. So.

[Lyle]

Okay, go ahead. So you're driving to. Not Egypt.

[Rachel]

So I'm driving to, like, the western part of Virginia, not West Virginia, but, like, the westernmost part of Virginia. So it's, like, very much farmland. So I'm 15. I have my learner's permit. Like, I need a trusted adult in the car, and me and my mom and My sister drive out to, like, this random, like, woman's house. The woman who Facebook messaged my mom. And we get there, like, five hours later, and it's like, just the most random lady we've ever met. And she's like, yeah, he's dead. Like, you gotta go to, like, the morgue. So there was, like, three buildings in this town. One of them was, like, a place to replace tires on your car. Another one was. I don't even remember. And then the third one was a morgue, like a funeral home. So we are there, and we go down in the basement. I'm 15 years old at this point. Like, let me just say that we go down in the basement of this funeral home, which is, like, where they keep bodies, which is, like, so crazy because I would have never known that otherwise. So I'd like to thank my mother for this learning experience. And it's my uncle. Okay, so obviously I'm, like, laughing right now, but you have to understand, like, I knew he was dead for a while. And, like, it's not funny, but he did look like he was sleeping. But, like, upon his body, there was, like, the white sheet, like, just like how you would think in a movie, but, like. But the sheet draped, like, ever so slightly over his right leg. And then we're like, what is that? And the guy in the morgue is like, oh, yeah, his leg is missing. Like, his leg was amputated. So I'm here. I'm 15. I'm like, did someone cut off his leg? And, like, he died. At this point, I'm like, I need to go home. But apparently, because he was an alcoholic, he got a blood clot in his leg and they had to amputate it because he was homeless. And he never got it checked out. So anyways, that literally is not an important part of the story. Anyway, beating up the story. We correctly ID my uncle's body, may he rest in power. And then we're like, we need to go retrieve his belongings out of his car. Because, like, he had, like, mail in his car. And, like, his important documents were in his car. And my uncle had a son, my cousin. And you might be wondering, where is my uncle's son? He was too busy to come because he was playing Larry the Lobster in a free edition of SpongeBob the Musical in, like, New Jersey. So we decided to handle it. So we get to where his car was, and there's, like, a shack, and the two other homeless people were there, but, like, they didn't know what was going on. Because they were, you know, victims of substance abuse. And we, like, get his stuff out of his car. And they're like, who are you? Like, a man just died here. We're like, yeah, we're his family. And they're like, what? And we're like, yeah. So we get his stuff out of his car, and then I found five kittens under the, like, the deck of a shack that he was living in, and I rescued them, actually, and I adopted them out to people, so that was something good that came out of it. But eventually we did come to find out that they were in possession of some of his belongings, and they were using his credit cards after his death for many months. But we figured that out, and that's the story. So there's a lot of unpack. Like, how did he live on a Native American reservation? Why was he in Florida? The leg thing happened, and then.

[Lyle]

Did you ever find. Did you ever find his leg? Did you ever find his leg?

[Rachel]

Right. Where was it? Where was his leg?

[Lyle]

Okay, so you never found a leg?

[Rachel]

No, it was, like, amputated in, like, a medical procedure.

[Lyle]

Do you still talk to your aunt? My aunt, or, like, your uncle? Your uncle had, like, a lady friend.

[Rachel]

Well, he didn't, though. It was a woman who scammed him out of, like, a million dollars and said that she, like, sold gems. No one does that. Yeah, I know. So we never figured out what happened.

[Lyle]

Has there been any updates on this?

[Rachel]

No. Every time I bring it up, like, my mom's just like, yeah, whatever.

[Lyle]

Okay, okay.

[Rachel]

And realistically, this wasn't that long ago.

[Lyle]

Like, wait, how old are you now?

[Rachel]

I'm 21.

[Lyle]

Okay, so I guess you'll miss. You'll just never have the answers to this, right?

[Rachel]

It's, like, very mysterious, and I wish that I could have been there after we left the shack to hear the homeless people converse. Well, did they have something to do with it?

[Lyle]

Like, you know, rest in peace to your uncle?

[Rachel]

Yeah, he was great. He died doing what he loved.

[Lyle]

What did he love?

[Rachel]

Drinking.

[Lyle]

Is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?

[Rachel]

I love you guys. Look out for your uncles.

[Lyle]

Bye. Bye. Hey, folks. This episode is sponsored by ChatGPT Plus. ChatGPT plus is free for college students now through May. That means you have no limits on how many ways you can prompt ChatGPT to help you through the worst part of the school year. There's many ways you can do this, like uploading your class notes and having ChatGPT quiz you on them, or or asking ChatGPT to take a complicated concept and try to explain it to you in simpler terms to help you understand ChatGPT+ free for college students through May restrictions apply.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway this spring. Take care of your entire home, including the air you breathe, and save $5 when you buy $25 worth of participating products in store or online. Shop for items like Glade Plugins, Airwick Plug Ins, Glade Auto Sprays, Airwick Diffusers and Glade refills, and save $5 when you spend 25 DOL on participating products. Offer ends May 20th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[Unknown]

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[Lyle]

To an iheart podcast.