“WE HATE EACH OTHER”

Summary

Therapy Gecko – Episode: “WE HATE EACH OTHER” – June 3, 2026

Podcast by iHeartPodcasts | Host: Lyle the Gecko

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Overview

In this episode, Therapy Gecko (Lyle) explores two candid, deeply personal conversations with strangers who call in to share their struggles. The main segment features Patrick and Stephanie, a young couple navigating the aftermath of a long, tumultuous relationship while raising their infant daughter together. The episode dives into themes of respect, infidelity, co-parenting, self-worth, and personal growth as the pair unpacks why they "hate each other" but still try to make things work for their child. In the second, lighter segment, Lyle chats with Lee, a listener battling feelings of stagnation and self-doubt, who finds solace in the simple joys of fitness and amateur photography. Throughout, the host's irreverent, empathetic, and often funny "lizard therapy" style keeps the conversations honest and engaging.

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Major Segments & Timestamps

• Patrick & Stephanie: Dissecting a “Hate-Filled” Bond (01:48–29:37)
• Lee: Lost, Working Out, and Healing (33:07–80:20)

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1. Patrick & Stephanie: "Friends That Hate Each Other"

Background and Relationship Timeline

• Length & Nature: Together on-and-off for 7–8 years; turbulent from the start due to infidelity and unresolved baggage.
• Child Together: 6 months ago had a daughter (unplanned, decided mutually against abortion).
• Current Dynamic: Cordial co-parenting, emotionally fraught and sometimes volatile between just the two of them.
  • “We’re pretty cordial for her. But if it’s just us two, some days we’re good, some days we’re very, very bad.” (Patrick, 05:47)

The Issues (Infidelity, Resentment & Porn)

• Early Betrayal: Patrick cheated at the start, sparking lasting mistrust.
• Recurring Theme: Both partners admit to cycles of betrayal, secrecy, and "tit for tat" revenge.
• Porn and Sex: Major tension; Patrick argues it’s "totally separate from your real sex life," but Stephanie felt it was an emotional rejection.
  • “I feel with porn and masturbation that is totally separate… I don’t think it shapes how you feel about your partner.” (Patrick, 10:07)
  • “He never respected me. Since the beginning, it was always lie after lie.” (Stephanie, 13:16)
  • “He was cheating on you while you were pregnant?” “Yes.” (Lyle & Stephanie, 13:57–14:01)

Respect Lost—and Gone Both Ways

• Mutual Loss of Respect: Both agree that neither respects the other anymore, largely due to patterns of cheating and lying.
  • “We’d go tit for tat… I’m not exactly sure why we let it go on so long.” (Stephanie, 18:43–19:49)
  • “Not only was it a lack of respect for each other, but [also] a lack of respect for ourselves.” (Patrick, 26:26)

Co-Parenting and Coexistence

• Prioritizing Their Daughter: Temporary truces and ongoing effort to avoid involving their child in their issues.
  • “We do have a decent friendship, and I would like to keep it that way for our daughter.” (Patrick, 21:14)
• Admitting Deep Friendship Beneath the Drama:
  • “You two clearly have a deep friendship… enough for you to, like, raise a child together, but also just a complete lack of respect.” (Lyle, 17:32)

Attempts at Open Relationships and Realizations

• Lack of Definition: Lyle notes that their undefined relationship resulted in open-relationship-style behavior, but without consent or clarity.
  • “You guys have essentially been doing an open relationship, but it pisses everybody off because that wasn’t the title of it.” (Lyle, 20:26–20:36)
• Monogamy Still Desired, But "Too Far Gone": Both acknowledge they aren’t emotionally positioned to try again.
  • “Deep down, both of us want something monogamous, but… we’re kind of just too far gone.” (Patrick, 20:39)

Moving Forward: Self-Improvement & Boundaries

• Patrick’s Plan: 75 days of self-improvement (no porn, no alcohol/weed, focus on working out and being a better father).
  • “Lock in on yourself. Just try to be a better person… You’re so lucky… that your family life is at a baseline of calm existence enough that you can exist in this.” (Lyle, 22:57–25:21)
• Stephanie’s Advice:
  • “If God gives you a sign to stop with that man, leave him… Just look at the red flags and just leave… you’re going to end up being in this relationship.”—(Stephanie’s advice to listeners, 28:08)

Notable Moments and Quotes

• On why they both stay:
  • “Either we both would break it off and come back, or we would take the other person back. It was a revolving circle.” (Stephanie, 19:15)
• On luck and perspective:
  • “You got to [mess] up a ton, and it’s kind of totally fine. Because you have… your family life is at a baseline of calm existence… That is crazy to me.” (Lyle, 22:57–25:21)
• On the future:
  • “Call me back in ten years. I want to see what became of this.” (Lyle, 29:33)

Key Takeaways

• Raw honesty about the complicated aftermath of betrayal, the challenge of co-parenting without rekindled trust, and the realization that sometimes, friendship and stable parenting matter more than salvaging romance.
• Both seem intent on focusing on themselves and their daughter, while recognizing the vital importance of boundaries and self-respect moving forward.

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2. Lee: Feeling Lost, Getting Swole, and the Power of Simple Joys

Background

• Situation: 27-year-old, recent struggles with comparison, depression, lack of structure, and impulsive spending.
• Current Goals: Improving mental and physical health, sporadically seeking connection online, finding fulfillment in accessible creativity (photography).

Discussion Highlights

Feeling Lost & Social Comparison

• Comparison Trap: Lee describes watching friends settle down, marry, and advance careers, while feeling left behind.
  • “All my close friends are married, they’re having kids… and I’m kind of just like, I don’t know. No partner, no child, no career…” (Lee, 36:25)
• Host Empathy:
  • “Dude, I feel lost every fucking day of my life. Yeah, of course.” (Lyle, 36:00)

Apps, Dating, and Vulnerability

• App Fatigue & Body Image: Feels like he should do well, but is jaded by low matches and a traumatic dating experience.
• Awkward Date Recounted: Candidly admits to an encounter where a woman mocked his body, leading to a bruised ego and inspiration (eventually) to work on himself.
  • “She laughed and said, ‘Why is it so small?’” (Lee, 42:48)

Self-Improvement & The “Deserving a Good Life” Conversation

• Moves Toward Healing: Regular gym visits, working on AD/HD, controlling impulsive spending.
• Lyle’s On-the-Fly Philosophy:
  • “You have to go, like, rewire your fucking brain to be like…It is my divine duty to treat myself the best as possible and strive to have a good life. And for that reason, I will find myself to be deserving of having a good life because I’m the only thing that I can be.” (Lyle, 54:56–57:54)
• The struggle with self-worth: Lyle oscillates between feeling deserving and feeling like “just some asshole”—both agree some self-criticism keeps you grounded, but too much is destructive.

Dopamine Loops, Depression, and Spending

• Impulse Buying & Food: Attempts to fill emptiness with purchases; food is a frequent comfort (recalling, for instance, $17 spent on “a pathetic” Burger King meal).
  • “Oh my god. Food. I was a fat.” (Lee, 73:29)
  • “What happened to our country? Seventeen dollars for a Whopper, fries and a drink?!” (Lyle, 74:04)
• Improvements: No more suicidal ideation, trying to maintain perspective and not spiral when things go poorly.

The Personal Project: Daily Bugle Photography

• Instagram Plug: Lee shares his amateur nature/photo page, “The Daily Bugle Photography,” and receives earnest praise from Lyle.
  • “This page kind of looks like it should be on the Golden Record…This is just a guy taking photos of the earth he landed on.” (Lyle, 77:04)
• Encouragement: Lyle encourages self-expression, following your gut, and cherishing the “average” things that make life sweet.

Notable Quotes

• “I feel like I walk around New York and I look around and I’m like, I fucking love living here...And then I have other things in my life...I fucking hate being here. And I’ll just leave.” (Lyle, 46:42)
• “We’ll both make a pact. We’ll both try to be better about stuff.” (Lyle, 80:13)

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Final Thoughts & Tone

Podcast Vibe:

• The show’s signature blend of playful absurdity, candid honesty, and nonjudgmental empathy. Lyle flirts with the line between sage, relatable advice and philosophical rambling, always returning to kindness and acceptance, no matter the pain or absurdity callers bring.

Core Insights:

• Relationships and parenthood are messy, but friendship and civility are possible even after deep betrayal.
• Self-forgiveness and improvement must be rooted in personal, gut-level honesty—not comparisons or shame.
• Creative self-expression, no matter how “average,” is itself a victory.
• It’s okay to feel lost; everyone does—even therapy geckos.

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Memorable Moments / Quotes with Timestamps

• Patrick on Respect Lost: “Throughout these seven years… we’ve both lost respect for each other. So for me to start respecting her in that way, the way she wants me to, I don’t think I could do it.” (Patrick, 08:13)
• Stephanie’s Direct Warning: “If God gives you a sign to stop with that man, leave him… Just look at the red flags and just leave it as it is. Don’t continue it, because you’re going to end up being, like, in this relationship.” (Stephanie, 28:08)
• Lyle’s Luck Perspective: “You got to fuck up a ton, and it’s kind of totally fine…your family life is at a baseline of calm existence enough that you can exist in this… That is crazy to me.” (Lyle, 22:57–25:21)
• Lee on Gym Motivation: “I’m just tired of my clothes being so tight, dude.” (Lee, 34:37)
• Lyle’s Gut Alignment Riff: “I’m trying to stop like faking it till I make it. Do you know what I’m saying?… I feel in my gut so deeply when I hate something… so deeply when I love something.” (Lyle, 46:42)
• Lee’s Plug: “It’s called the Daily Bugle Photography on Instagram.” (Lee, 75:16)
• Lyle’s Endorsement: “This is just a guy taking photos of the earth he landed on. This…is what it feels like to be alive.” (Lyle, 77:04)

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Overall Takeaway

A classic Therapy Gecko episode—a mix of heartbreak, healing, self-doubt, dark humor, hope, and a reminder that everyone, gecko or not, is a work in progress. Whether raising a child with someone you “hate,” or learning to love your own average Instagram, life’s messy—but it’s yours to live, one impulsive Whopper or creative photo at a time.

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Listener Action:
Check out “thedailybuglephotography” on Instagram to support Lee’s journey of doing something “average” and honest, for its own sake.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

We.

[A]

We just contributed to people to do podcasts. We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions. Well, sick and tired is a strong way to put it, but, you know, tired and sick. Tired and sick. Listen to hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it.

[B]

Hello? Hello, Is this the Geck?

[A]

Yes, sir. Who is this?

[B]

This is Patrick.

[A]

Patrick? Patrick. You. Wait. Where? I heard a little beep in the background. What was that? Oh, you're getting out of your car.

[B]

I just got in the car.

[A]

Okay, are you about to start driving the car somewhere?

[B]

I'm not going to be the one driving.

[A]

Okay, well, who are you in the car with?

[B]

I'm in the car with my 6 month old and her mother.

[A]

Oh. What? Okay, wait. Okay, so you just.

[B]

All right.

[A]

You texted me and you said. I'm texting you because I want to talk to you about how I up my relationship with my daughter's mother so bad.

[B]

Mother.

[A]

That it Genuinely made me rethink my whole life. And you want to talk to me about this while she's driving a car next to you?

[B]

I'm totally down for it.

[A]

Okay. All right, go ahead. What happened? How did you up this relationship?

[B]

So this relationship has been going. Has been going on for seven or eight years now, but it was kind of rocky all the way from the start from my own doing. So I got out of a maybe a four year relationship that was basically my whole high school time. And then maybe less than a month after that, I met Stephanie, my baby's mother. And so we started talking, we dated. I wasn't over my. My high school girlfriend. Go. I wasn't over my high school girlfriend yet. And one thing led to another. I hit up my old ex, and then new baby, new. New girlfriend found out about it. So that just strained the whole relationship. And then after that, instead of us just completely breaking it off from each other, we just kind of rolled with it, I guess you could say.

[A]

You kept dating?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, we kept dating.

[A]

And this was, this was, this was several years ago.

[B]

Yeah, so this, that was 2018. And so then we dated, like, I guess you could say exclusively for about four years, and then we broke up and then we were kind of just like on and off since then.

[A]

Okay, and then when did you have this child together?

[B]

That was about six months ago, last November.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

What? She was born.

[A]

So you were on enough to do that?

[B]

Yeah, it was actually a weird situation, but yeah, it was, it was one of those on. One of those on times.

[A]

And are you happy with that? Like, was it. Was it was this like a choice or did this like just happen?

[B]

So it kind of just happened. Like it, there was definitely no plan of it, but we both kind of decided that we didn't really want to go through with an abortion.

[A]

Oh. So, okay, so it was, it was an unplanned baby.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So. But you guys, it sounds like you're co parenting pretty well considering she's in the car with you right now.

[B]

Yeah, we're pretty cordial when it comes to our daughter because she really has nothing to do with our problems that we have between each other, you know, so we, we're pretty cordial for her. But if it's just us too, it's like back and forth. Some, some days we're good, some days we're very, very bad.

[A]

How and how are you today as you're talking about this on the phone while she's in the room?

[B]

Well, like my text Said I. I've been thinking about myself and my actions and everything about me a lot lately. So I've come to a conclusion that I'm not living the way I want to or should be. She's got an idea of the way she wants me to be, which I don't really. I wouldn't say I don't agree with, but there's just a different way I want to live for myself.

[A]

Okay, let's talk about this. Let's talk about this. What. What way does she want you to be?

[B]

Let's see. To put it shortly, she. Let's stay more attentive to our relationship. She says more respectful to her. To be more respectful to her in our relationship.

[A]

Dude, is she. Is she feeding you these lines? Is she.

[B]

She. She fed me that last one.

[A]

Okay, okay. Be okay. She wants you to be more respectful to her and she wants to be more attentive to her. Okay, keep going. Is that it?

[B]

Honestly, porn and sex has been a bit of big problem in our real life throughout the years.

[A]

Okay, okay, so when she. Okay, all right, but we'll talk about that. But why do you. Okay, so she. She wants you to be more attentive to your relationship and more respectful to her. Why does that not jive with how you want to live?

[B]

I know. Maybe that part doesn't jive. Maybe. Maybe that's not the part that I'm talking about. But it's. I don't know. Just throughout these seven years, like the stuff we've been through and whatnot, we've both lost respect for each other. So. So for me to. To start respecting her in that way, it. The way she wants me to, I don't. I don't think I could do it.

[A]

This is crazy. I. You know what? Okay. Okay.

[B]

I've been waiting to talk to you, dude.

[A]

Okay, so let. Let's. Let's. Let me hear this. I have a pretty good idea. It sounds of how she graduated. How did she. In your. How do you believe that she lost respect for you over the years? Just like porn and shit.

[B]

Porn shit. During those on and off periods, the people I would talk to. But I don't think that's really her business in the off periods. But mostly

[A]

she just said something. She just said something. What did she just say?

[B]

What'd you say? She says I. I would bring them into the relationship during. I'm guessing during our on periods.

[A]

Wow. I want to talk to her so badly, but she's dry. We'll. We'll.

[B]

We'll.

[A]

We'll get to it. We'll get to it. Okay.

[B]

Do you.

[A]

Okay. And then I wanna. I'm. I still have more information I want to get out of you first. She. So. Okay. So. Yeah. In what way? How did she lose respect for you? The. Like the masturbation and porn stuff.

[B]

Yeah, that's like the base of it, I would say, because she feels so. Okay, let me. I. I feel just like now. I feel with porn and masturbation that that is totally separate from your real sex life. And I don't think it shapes how you feel about your partner. That's. That's my base and I'm standing on it.

[A]

Here's. Listen, listen, listen, listen. I agree with that. As a baseline, until those things stop being true. So the question becomes, like, I don't think that porn and masturbation are inherently bad for your real sex life until they become that. Right? So, like, what do you. Were you, like, not having sex with her or appreciating her or.

[B]

No, dude, we had sex all the time. And it was. I thought it was great sex at least, but for her, she. With. With the. The. That whole X thing with her. I think she believes that I go to porn because I don't like her. Like, I don't enjoy her, but it's totally not true.

[A]

What did she just say?

[B]

What did she said? She brought up other people that were. That have been problems in our relationship during the four year on time. The beginning.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like the. The. The X. Basically the. The X.

[A]

Okay. Okay. Let me look more at what you said in this text here. You said, I up the relationship with her. Okay, so you're. Let me talk to her, actually. Is that okay? Is she down?

[B]

Yeah. Do you want to talk to him? Everybody's nervous to talk to him. Do you mind if I. I put it on the. The speaker?

[A]

We can try. Sometimes it sounds shitty, but, you know, we can try.

[B]

All right, let me. Let's try it here.

[A]

Hello.

[B]

Hello?

[A]

Hey, what's your name?

[B]

Stephanie.

[A]

Stephanie. How's it going, Stephanie? Wait, Stephanie, do you know who. Do you know who I am or what the context of any of this is?

[B]

Yes. We went to go see a show in San Diego.

[A]

Oh, you. Wait, you both went to see my show in San Diego?

[B]

Yeah. Dude.

[A]

What's up, dude? Why don't you guys just. Why the. Okay. What? Okay. All right, Stephanie, why have you lost respect for. I forget. I'm gonna call him John. I forget his name. Patrick. Patrick. Why have you lost respect for Patrick?

[B]

Because he never respected me. Since the beginning, it was always lie after lying. So, like, in the way that he, I guess, puts himself out there, he just doesn't care about his image. And I. I just think it's disrespectful on his end.

[A]

What do you mean by he doesn't care about his image?

[B]

Like I said, he didn't want me to talk about this. Go for it. Like, during my pregnancy, he was still, you know, doing stuff behind my back, liking stuff he's not supposed to, talking to girls he's not supposed to.

[A]

Well, like, he was cheating on you while you were pregnant?

[B]

Yes,

[A]

dude.

[B]

Relationship was undefined because we were never really together when the baby was conceived. But since the baby was conceived, then we decided we weren't going to get an abortion. I moved in with her. We tried to make it work, and he would try to. Well, he would say he would try to make it work, but then I would find out things, and it was just like a fantasy to me.

[A]

Were you. Were you. Were you. So were you both seeing other people?

[B]

I wasn't. I'm not sure if he was. I don't know. He says he wasn't, but it's hard to believe him.

[A]

Okay, so do. I mean, it sounds like neither of you particularly want to, like, be romantically engaged with each other.

[B]

Not anymore. Not anymore. But he still tells me that he still wants me and he wants his family to this day. So I don't know. But she tells me the same thing. No, I don't.

[A]

So you. So wait, so, Patrick, you. You want to stay together?

[B]

At this point now, I'm. I just kind of want to be by myself, to work on myself and do things for myself. Like, for the last 15 years or so, I always kind of held myself back because of the people I was talking to. Even though I wasn't doing them right, I kind of still did hold myself back from, I think, stuff that I could have been doing or just been doing for better for myself. So now I'm just focusing on myself and my daughter.

[A]

Okay. What about you? What about you, Stephanie?

[B]

My main focus right now is just my daughter to be honest and myself interesting and just making money.

[A]

But. So you guys are like friends.

[B]

Friends that hate each other. Okay.

[A]

Because you both. You both went to see. You both went to see my show.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Which was actually very fun.

[A]

Oh, thanks. Thanks. Wow. Who watched your daughter while you were at the show?

[B]

My mother.

[A]

Your mother. Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. Stephanie, are you. Are you. Have you tried dating anyone else? Or you're just like, on your own right now?

[B]

On my own. I don't. I just don't have the motivation, really, to go out there, especially being a single mom in this society. I feel like nobody wants that, you know, type of life. Yep.

[A]

How's your kid doing?

[B]

She's doing great. Teacher. Wonderful. She's a blessing. Wow.

[A]

It sounds like it. You know what's funny is you.

[B]

I. You. This is.

[A]

So you two have a fascinating relationship with each other.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You really do. You two have a fascinating relationship with each other because you two clearly have. I don't know if you two would agree, but you two clearly have a deep friendship with each other. Hands that. You clearly have a deep friendship with each other underneath it. Enough for you to, like, raise a child together, but also just a complete lack of. Okay, so, Patrick, I'm curious. Okay, so, Patrick. All right, so I've. I've. I've gotten the idea of why Stephanie no longer has respect for you. But why do you say you no longer have respect for Stephanie?

[B]

Kind of the same reason she doesn't have respect for me. She would do stuff behind my back. I would do stuff behind her back. We would kind of go tit for tat. And then some things I just. I found out, like, maybe a month ago.

[A]

Wait.

[B]

Just made me

[A]

wait. Stephanie, is this true? You, like. You would also, like, see people behind Patrick's back?

[B]

Yeah, because he set the tone of the relationship. So, like, if he's going to do something, I'm going to do him worse. Like I said, we. We would go tit for tat, Literally. So I. And it went on for years. Years. And then once we got to the. After we, like, broke up and weren't. Weren't, quote unquote, exclusive we. It wasn't as bad like, or it didn't. It didn't matter as much, you know, but just some of the stuff that I found out, and I. I'm not exactly sure why we let it go on so long. Either we both kind of. One of us would break it off and then. Or. And come back, or we would take the other person back. It. It just was a revolving circle. And you know what? I actually, like, maybe two or three months before my daughter was conceived, we had kind of came to an agreement that we were just going to leave each other alone, and then we never did it again.

[A]

Okay, dude, this is like, why don't you. I. Why don't you two just, like, why don't you two just, like, be in a relationship and then be like, cuz. Clear. I don't. Clearly, you two both, like, want to like other people or whatever. Why don't you just be in a relationship, but then have it be like, listen, if you want to other people, that's fine. Just let me know. Let me just do, like a quasi poly thing,

[B]

like an open relationship kind of deal.

[A]

I mean, that's. I mean, that's essentially what you guys have been.

[B]

Essentially.

[A]

You guys have essentially been doing an open relationship, but it pisses everybody off because there's no.

[B]

That wasn't the title of it.

[A]

Because that wasn't the title of it.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. You know what? Someone told us that before, too. I think what it is, deep down, both of us want something monogamous, but I think we're kind of just too far gone.

[A]

Yeah. Possibly not even.

[B]

Kinda just. We are too far gone.

[A]

Huh. So you don't respect each other? Do either. Do either of you. Do you believe that you two could respect each other again once more? Again?

[B]

No, Not. Not in a romantic way. Like, she's a cool person. And like you said, we. We do have a decent friendship, and I would like to keep it that way for our daughter. But yeah, I. Like we said, we're focusing on ourselves.

[A]

Okay? Respect. Actually, you know, I'm coming around to this. I actually am coming. I am actually coming around to the idea that you two should not be together. Well, I'm. But. But I am wondering what happens when, like, if one of you gets, like, a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Like, are you guys. Are you gonna be jealous?

[B]

I. Right now I probably would be, for sure. But sometime down the road, as long as they're fine with my. With my daughter and they're treating her right, I got no problems.

[A]

All right? You're so. What. What's your. What's your name again? Patrick.

[B]

Patrick.

[A]

Patrick. You're so lucky.

[B]

Why?

[A]

I really feel like you're so lucky. You're so lucky because you're so lucky because you got to up a lot, and it's kind of fine. You have to up.

[B]

Dude.

[A]

No, no, no. You got to up a ton, and it's kind of totally fine because you have. Because you're. Because, dude, like, you know how many guys. Because, dude, you know how many guys there are who, like, they fucked up and, like, their wife or girl, the mother of their children cannot be in the same room with them, let alone be in the same room with them on speakerphone with the gecko, talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, dude, you're so. Well, I have A change back. Dude, you're so lucky right now. Dude, how many guys have, like, you make guys have, like, like they cheat on their girlfriend or whatever, and. And now they're, like, in court battling over custody or they did. So, like, you, you so, like, you have. Oh, my God, you're so fudgeing. Like, you got, like, an infinite chance. Like, you're. Your family life is, like, at a baseline of, like, a calm existence. Like, just the fact that your family life is at a baseline of calm, calm existence enough that you can exist in this that we can have this conversation right now is crazy to me. And the fact that you're saying, like, I want to. I'm directing this to you because you called and. And like, you. The fact that you're saying to me, like, you texted me in this thing you said, today, I'm starting the 75 days of working out. No porn, no alcohol, no weed, nothing but locking in on bettering myself. Like, like, like, please do that. Please do, like, just do that. Lock in on yourself. Just try to be a better person. Like, the fact that you have, like, the fact that you have the opportunity even to do that and to, like, be a dad, the fact you're not, like, in court doing a whole thing and that you. You can go see my show with your. Your ex girlfriend, who. The mother of your daughter. Whatever. Like, dude, you're so lucky. Do you understand that? Like, this is insane.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, I've. I've seen it go way worse for other people.

[A]

You're so lucky right now, dude. I think. I think both. Whatever you got, Whatever you guys got going on is awesome. Or it's not. I don't know. I haven't decided yet, but. Holy. Thank God. Thank God. Your daughter's gonna be fine. Thank God. I think. I think your daughter's gonna be fine. Your daughter's gonna be. Your daughter was going to grow up to be a healthy, productive member of society because. Both. Because, oh, my God, this is. This is. This is wild. This is crazy. Thank God. I mean, you guys could be at each other's throats right now. I don't. I don't even know how you're doing. I don't know how you're doing what you're doing. I don't know how you're doing what you're doing. This is that one of the health. This, you know, this is one of the healthiest relationships I think I've even seen.

[B]

I don't know if I would say that, but, you know, honestly, I think how we kind of were letting this happen for so long. I think not only was it a lack of respect for each other that was the problem, but it was also a lack of respect for, like, ourselves. And that was one thing that I came to, like, a conclusion I came to recently, which kind of started this whole 75 day thing.

[A]

Well, that's good, man. That's good. Let's go. Your daughter. Your daughter. Where are you guys driving to, by the way? This is a long car ride.

[B]

Oh, we're actually stopped right now. We're about to go get some food.

[A]

You guys are, like, dating. What is this? This is so funny.

[B]

You're like, we're hanging out. I had to pick up my daughter, and we were both hungry, so I was like, you know, whatever.

[A]

Stephanie, I have a question. So, like, this is gonna go on the Internet and a bunch of people are gonna comment on stuff is there? And John's been nutcher. I don't know. Sebastian. Sebastian's doing most of the talking.

[B]

Patrick.

[A]

And Patrick. What? Patrick? Sorry, I don't know where I got Sebastian from. Patrick's been doing most of the talking. So just for a second, is there anything that you want to say?

[B]

Yeah, I'm just gonna say if God gives you a sign to stop with that man, leave him, because he's gonna turn you into, you know, having you have his fault, I mean, his kid. And it's gonna be too late. It's gonna be too late. It's gonna be too late to go back. Okay. That's all I got to say. You just be careful. Take the. Just look at the red flags and just leave it as it is. Don't continue it, because you're going to end up being, like, in this relationship, and. Yeah, you're going to. Or. Or it could be worse. Or it could be worse.

[A]

All right, man. That's so funny. Well, thank you. Thank you for that, Stephanie. John, is there anything you want to say to the people before we go?

[B]

No, man, I'm just, like, super excited and happy that I got to talk to you.

[A]

I'm happy I got to talk to you, too. I wish we could. It's. It's funny that. Yeah, you guys are. You guys are interesting, I think. I don't know. I don't know what's gonna happen to you guys, but I'm sure. Call me back in 10 years. I want to see what became of this

[B]

deal.

[A]

Awesome. All right, you guys have a good one.

[B]

You too. Bye.

[A]

Well, if there were ever a podcast that I needed, the audience to weigh in on. I'm very curious what people think. That was a. That was an interest. That was a fascinating relationship. I feel like they're gonna get back together, but John, I feel like. But they, they. I feel like they can get back together, but John has to really like. John has to. John has to lock. John has to do such an unbelievable amount of locking in for them to be able to get back together. He has to do a amount of locking in that I don't think think is humanly possible. But who knows? I'd love to hear in 10 years, they. They figured it out or not. Or either that or step. Either that or John locks in. He does whatever. Stephanie gets a new boyfriend. She's happy. Actually, that too. That could all that. Also, I was having a John focused theory on this, but my Stephanie focused theory. She gets a new boyfriend, they lock in together. John locks in. He does his thing. Yeah, maybe they shouldn't be together. All right. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway. Now through June 23rd. Shop for you. Save days and get great savings on all your favorite personal care Essentials and earn 4 times points. Shop in store or online and save on items like head and shoulder shampoo, Pantene shampoo, Tresemme conditioner, l' Oreal hair dye, Tresemme Hairspray, and Aussie Miracle curls. And earn four times points to use for future savings on groceries or gas. Offer ends June 23rd. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details. Out here, if you're doing nothing, you're doing everything right. Though on a cruise with Norwegian, even if you're doing nothing, you're still basking in the warm sun, enjoying the peaceful ocean waves. You're breathing. Don't forget about breathing. Definitely need to be breathing. So you get to do nothing or everything, but you still need to be breathing. It's like really important experience. The difference with cruises to Alaska, the Caribbean and Europe. Norwegian Cruise Line. It's different out here. Visit ncl.com call your travel advisor or 188ncl cruise Norwegian Cruise Line ships registry the Bahamas and USA hey, it's us, the Jonas Brothers. And guess what? We have some big news. What's the news? Huge news. We created our own podcast called hey, Jonas. We invented a podcast. Well, we didn't invent it.

[B]

We.

[A]

We just contributed to it. First people to do podcasts. Pretty. Yeah, Pretty wide range of podcasts, but this one's extra special.

[B]

So how did we. How did we actually come up with

[A]

the name hey Jonas? Guys, I honestly don't remember. I think it was on a call about what we should call it, and,

[B]

well, we were thinking.

[A]

I'm originally calling it one of the early names of our band before Jonas Brothers. This is how you guys remember it going down?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I have a very different memory of this. We were talking about a thing a bit for the podcast where people could call in and say, hey, Jonas. And then I wrote down on my little notepad, hey, Jonas, and offered it up as a potential title for the podcast. But thanks for remembering that. Guys, listen to hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Just listen.

[B]

We don't care where you hear it from. Lee. Yeah, to accept.

[A]

Hello.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

Hey, what's up, man?

[B]

Oh. Oh, wow. Hi. How you doing?

[A]

Hey, I'm doing good. What's your name?

[B]

My name is Lee. Lee, I'm blessed to speak to you today.

[A]

You share a name with the guy who assassinated John F. Kennedy.

[B]

Oh, I also share a name with Bruce Lee.

[A]

Not really. I mean, that's his last name. Lee is your first name. So you, you halfly share a name with Bruce Lee.

[B]

Okay, you're onto something.

[A]

You sound like you're in a car right now.

[B]

I might be.

[A]

Where are you on your way to in this car?

[B]

I'm on my way to the gym.

[A]

What are you gonna work out today? What part of the body we're doing?

[B]

Arms, bicep, and shoulders.

[A]

How often do you go to gym? How many days a week?

[B]

Three days right now.

[A]

Okay, what about normally?

[B]

Normally?

[A]

Yeah, you said right now. What about normally?

[B]

Two days normally, but trying to try to. Three days. The, the standard, you know, is anything

[A]

currently motivating you or inspiring you to go to the gym so consistently?

[B]

I'm just tired of, like, my clothes being so tight, dude.

[A]

And same.

[B]

I like being shirtless.

[A]

You like being shirtless? Do you look. How do you look shirtless currently.

[B]

Okay. I, I'm getting there, but I'm okay right now.

[A]

What made you want to call me?

[B]

You know, I, I, I've been trying to call you for a long time, and I used to have, like, a lot of issues, but that was. Issues kind of resolved, and I'm in a, like, better state now. And so now I'm just, I just been calling to see, like, if I did in. And I got in, like, three years later. But, you know, with those issues, though, I do. I do have a question for you, you know.

[A]

Yeah, please. Yeah. Well, I have questions for you, but go. Go ahead with your question for me.

[B]

Okay. So for me, lately, even though I was kind of, like, in a better space, I still feel very lost. Like, my life is kind of more going with the flow than it is structured, per se. So I want to ask you, you know, do you ever feel lost and, like, how do you go about that?

[A]

Dude, I feel lost every fucking day of my life. Yeah, of course. Okay, well, I'll answer my question in the context of what is. What you were doing. So in that. So tell me what issues you were having and then how they got resolved. I'm very curious.

[B]

What's it called? Well, I think for starters, I. I used to really compare myself to my friends a lot. So, like, you know, right now I'm 27, and all. All my, like, close friends are. Are married, they're having kids, you know, they're getting their. Their jobs in their respective fields, and I'm kind of just like, I don't know. No, no, no. No partner, no. No child, no career. I just got a new job. But it's not like in what I went to school for, So I. You know, just stuff like that. And I wouldn't say. I don't even know. Yeah. Like, I'm just. I'm just doing my best, you know. So compare myself to others.

[A]

Yeah. So how do you feel? Like, how do you feel like that issue resolved itself for you?

[B]

I think I've just been kind of thinking of, like, you know, what's it called? Really, really thinking. Like, you know, I'm. I'm a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. So I'm thinking I. I'll just remind myself, you know, like, I have these feelings now, but it's because, you know, maybe I'm not. I'm not applying myself where I need to be, and I'm not taking certain things more seriously. You know, my physical health was one thing, so I. I think that's, like, been helping me, you know, going to the gym and. And losing some weight. But what's it called for my. For my mental health? You know, I'm just trying to take care of it, but it just, you know, we're just. We're just going with emotions, I guess.

[A]

And how's your, like, health now? All right. Like, in the. I guess in all of the things that you were comparing yourself to other people with, like, how are they now? Like, do you feel like you're. Do you feel better about your. Your life?

[B]

For the most part, you know, I I would love to have a partner, that's for sure. But, you know, I'm. I think I'm. I'm okay with not having one for now just because, you know, everything's a little too expensive. So I. I feel like I wouldn't be able to provide as much as I want to. I mean, yeah, just a little bit, so.

[A]

But you're getting ripped.

[B]

Doing my best.

[A]

How do you. So do you feel? You sound. I mean, you go to the gym three times a week. You sound like a physically attractive guy.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Do you. Are you. I would. Are you putting yourself out there? Are you on the app? So you running around? What are you doing?

[B]

I mean, I'm on the apps, but the apps are pretty trash, I won't lie to you.

[A]

What's trash about them? I mean, I know. I know why they're. I know they're. They're trapped, but you sound. I don't know, it depends on who you are. You sound like I'm picturing you as the kind of guy that does well on the apps. There's a kind of guy that does well on the apps that. I'm picturing you as that guy. I'm not. Just from your voice, I don't know if you are that guy, but just from talking to you, from what I know about you, you sound like that guy.

[B]

I love that. Thank you. Like, thank you for that. But no, I. I don't get that many swipes. I won't lie to you. I think it's because also, like, my profile is just, you know, I think I put a decent pictures on it, but I just. I don't know. I don't. I don't take those. That's too seriously because I've gone on a few dates before, but like, I kind of got like, trauma from one of them. So I just take a. Take a. I don't take it seriously anymore.

[A]

What kind of. I mean, if you want to talk about it, what kind of drama.

[B]

I mean, what's it called? To make it, like, not that long of a story. I just, I. I met up with this girl who I. At first I was like, you know, hey, I want a relationship. Is this guy. Well, we haven't talked for two weeks. I was like, hey, I'm kind of like, this is where I'm wanting to go with this. Like, it, you know, is this what you want to do? And she was like, ah, you know, no, not. Not really, but you're kind of cool. So, like, can we just be friends and I was like, okay, you know, that's fine. So she hits me up one day to, like, be like, hey, you want to hang out? I was like, yeah, sure. It. So we. We go. We hang out. And then, you know, afterwards, I was like, oh, you know, this is so fun, but I'm gonna go home. And she was like, okay. And then she kind of, like, made a move on me, and then we were gonna like, have intercourse in the back of my car, and then I couldn't. I couldn't. You know, I couldn't stay up. I couldn't stay up. And then. And then she. She laughed and said, why is it so small?

[A]

She. She laughed at you?

[B]

Yeah, dude. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my. Dude.

[B]

She.

[A]

Dude, listen, first of all, just so you know, I'm. I'm picturing you as. As. Again, like, I. I. I'm picturing you as a beautiful man on the other end of this phone. You. You are a beautiful man on the other end of this phone. I can. She laughed at you, man. Damn.

[B]

Fuck. Damn. I think it was, like, an awkward situational laugh, but, you know, you laugh nonetheless.

[A]

And she said, why are you so small?

[B]

She. Along the lines of that. Yes. Like, why is it so small? Or.

[A]

Damn. Damn. Damn. How did you react? That must. That. Yeah, that's up.

[B]

I just. I was just like, you know, I think I'm just gonna go home now.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

And then, you know, I was on the drove, so it was an awkward drive home.

[A]

Oh, no. You had to drive her home.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Damn. But that's good. But you know what? It's. I. She reveal. It's like, because you wanted a relationship with her, but she revealed herself in that moment, you know what I mean? So it was almost like a good thing that she, like, because you could have got. Imagine you, like, got deep into a relationship with her or, like, you started really developing feelings for her in some fucking way, and then she pulled some shit like that on you, you know?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. That would have been brutal, for sure. We keep it moving forward.

[A]

Okay. I. Listen, I don't think that. I don't think every woman on the apps is gonna be like, oh, your shit is small, you know?

[B]

Oh, yeah,

[A]

I think you can find. You. You. I think that there are some ladies out there where, like, whatever you got, right? Like, no matter who you. I mean, you know this, right? Like, no matter who you are, there's someone out there that, like, what you got is what they. What they're looking for. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Real. Hmm.

[A]

Okay. Was that part of. Was that. Was that. That sounds like something that would cause me to go to the. Start going to the gym three times a week. Was that a catalyst?

[B]

This happened, like, three years ago.

[A]

Oh, three years ago.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. That. I was just like, let me. Let me. For, like, a long time, I was like, let me not. Not be on these apps and let me kind of, like, do my own thing. And it was a thing where I was like, oh, I should really, like, exercise after that. But I have, like. I have, like, pretty bad adhd, and I was, like, very unhealthy and, like, under and over stimulated, like, all the time. So after a while, kind of, like focused on that and then now, like, able to put my attention into certain things a little better. But it was a catalyst. But it took, like, you know, like two, three years. Two years to. To really get the. The. The ball rolling in a sense.

[A]

So are you excited about the future now?

[B]

I think so, you know.

[A]

Oh, what was your. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Go ahead. I'm not. I shouldn't interrupt you. Go ahead.

[B]

No, no, I. I don't even know what I'm talking about that. Feel free.

[A]

Oh, well, I was gonna say. Okay, you asked me a question earlier, and I kind of avoided it, but because I wanted to hear what you wanted to say. But now that I've heard what you wanted to say, what was the question? You asked me if I've ever felt lost.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, I feel lost all the time, actually. And it's funny because you can. Dude, I don't know. I. I actually feel as the older I get, the less I feel qualified. I mean, I was never qualified or even claimed I was qualified to like, or I don't even, like, whatever, to do a podcast like this. Like, I, you know, it's not even like, it's a.

[B]

Whatever.

[A]

I've done this disclaimer a million times, but, like, yeah, I don't know where the. My life goes. I've been. I feel like I've been lost for a while. The older I get, the more lost I feel, the more. And it kind of makes sense because at some point you have to declare a major. You have to make. You do have to, like, make decisions and, like, stick to them and, like, learn to be comfortable with the ones you did not choose. And that's something I struggle with severely and do believe has caused me strife. I would say it's part of feeling lost, for sure. So, I mean, yeah, I feel. I feel lost all the time, but also, I. You know what? I'VE been doing lately is this is how. This is kind of helping me feel a little bit less lost. And I'm still too. I still feel like I'm too anxious to like really take action upon these feelings. But I'm like, dude, I'm trying to stop like faking it till I make it. Do you know what I'm saying in terms of like, I'm trying to stop faking how I feel. Like I can't predict. Like if I hate something, I can't pretend like I don't anymore. It's really hard. Or if I fucking like, like my. I feel in my gut so deeply when I hate something and I feel in my gut so deeply when, when I love something I. And I'm just like, I'm like surrendering to those feelings nowadays. I'm not, I'm not. I feel like I'm still too maybe cowardly to like live my life in full alignment of those feelings because something feels like there's. I, like, I get too interested. I get too thinky about everything surrounding those feelings. But like, you know, I feel like I walk around New York and I look around and I'm like, I fucking love living here. Like, I love this. I love being like, I feel like in deep alignment with that, right? And then I have other things in my life. Trying to think of some shit, like I'm just trying to get some low stakes shit like, oh, or like I'll be at like a event or like talking to someone or maybe you know what I'm out at. Like, I don't, I don't go to the club, but let's say I'm at the club or some shit or I'm at a party or what is something like that? I'll be like, I fucking hate being here. I fucking hate talking to this person right now. I fucking hate whatever this is. And I'll just leave. Like, I don't, I won't kind of fake myself into things anymore. You know, Like, I feel alignment in my gut and I've tried to do this thing of. Let me. I've tried to do this thing of like, let me just pretend like I don't and let me just try to enjoy exactly where I am. Like it's the, it's the duality of wanting to like, be comfortable, wanting to like, enjoy your life as it is, but also wanting to feel aligned in it. These are, these are things that make me feel very lost, is this choice between the two. But I'm trying to really listen when My body and my brain are telling me when I love something, I'm gonna hate something. But then you can. You can have logic behind like why you should still do things that you hate. I don't think you get. I don't know if you get out of that. I don't know if that's possible to like, have a life where you never ever do anything that you hate and you only do things you love, but then you see people do it and then you're like. And then I also, also. Dude, I think a lot of it is like this. Dude, this sounds. Everything I'm saying, it sounds so. Like motivational speakery. But I'm starting to get it because I've heard people say this before. You know, the of like feeling like you deserve to have a life where you. That you like, like. Or feeling like you deserve things like you deserve, like feeling like you deserve to have a good life.

[B]

Okay. Yeah.

[A]

You know, have you ever heard that people talk about that?

[B]

Yes, I have heard of that.

[A]

What do you think about that?

[B]

I feel like you can't really have those thoughts unless like you're. You work towards it, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like if you're going through life and you're like, man, I should be rich by now. But you haven't like, done.

[A]

It's not. Okay. It's not. It's not like an entitlement thing though. It's not. I like, I don't look at it like, it's like a. It's kind of this spiritualish thing thing of like looking at like. Cuz sometimes you can look at yourself and be like. Cuz you could be someone that works really hard and still be like, I'm a piece of shits, you know? But it's like a spiritual thing of like, do I. Do I as a human being feel that's. Dude, that when people say like, you're enough, dude, I'm sorry, I'm going. I'm going like I. I drank a Celsius and I'm going full therapy mode on you right now.

[B]

No, I love this. I'm also drink. Well, I'm drinking the Costco variant of Celsius.

[A]

What's the Costco variant of Celsius?

[B]

It's called Kirkland signature Sparkling energy drink.

[A]

Whoa. How many grams of cat? How much caffeine is in it?

[B]

200 with.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All right. We're on essential vitamin.

[A]

Okay. Sounds like we're on the same. Sounds like we're on the same wavelength here. Sounds like we're on the same I got my. Dude, this is not an advertisement. But I just. I'm trying the. I love. I'm a big Celsius guy. Although I might switch. I might go. But I might start buying the Kirkland because there's no. It sounds like it's the same. Is it good? What's the flavor?

[B]

I'm drinking tropical and it's like a pineapple, star fruit, mango kind of thing.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

It does have taurine in it. So it kind of has like a. Like a red bully taste to it.

[A]

Oh, okay. Yeah. That's the thing I like about. Again, it's not a Celsius ad, but that's what I like about Celsius doesn't have the tar. Oh, wait, no, wait, no, it totally has taurine in it. Wait, it absolutely 100 has Taurine in it. Dude, what the. What is Taurine? Because yeah, I don't like the Red Bull. I mean I do like the Red Bull taste, but it makes it feel like I shouldn't be drinking it. What is taurine? Taurine is an abundant naturally occurring sulfur containing amino acid found throughout the human body. Google says it's healthy for most adults to take taurine every day, but that's totally not true. Right? Wow, that can't be true.

[B]

I used to have a friend who told me taurine was made out of bull sperm.

[A]

I believe that I still, I would still believe your friend over Google.

[B]

That's very real of you.

[A]

This the thing of like, like I guess believing because sometimes because like I look around and I'm like as I get older I'm. I think when I was younger I used to have a thing of like I used to believe more that I deserved a good life when I was younger. And then as I've gotten older I believe it. And again, this has something to do with like entitlement or like work ethic, right? It kind of like, it's kind of like a step before that. It's like you. You get a little older and then I'm start have these feelings where I'm like, man, I'm not special. Like I'm just some. Like who am I to want a good life or who am I to like feel like I deserve a good life? You know? Now I think that kind of self talk it like I actually I. I believe that that is bad. I believe it is worth. I believe it is bad. It is self talk that I have and I believe it is bad. So it's not like an entitlement. So that like the to believe you Deserve a good life, I don't think is, like, a thing of, like, oh, I deserve to be rich tomorrow. Oh, I deserve this. I deserve. That Comes. Actually, I feel like it comes before the work in some way where you have to go, like, you have to rewire your fucking brain to be like, yes, there's, you know, the fucking kids dying in the Middle east and, yes, there's a billion other people, and you are just some asshole. And yes, you know, I, I'm infinite. I'm infinitely small and, you know, whatever. But spiritually, I have, for whatever reason, I am piloting the consciousness of myself. That is the one thing in the. My own fucking life, the one thing in the fucking universe that I, like, can control and, like, am. And I am, like, yes, some asshole, but I am making the executive decision that for some power beyond me, I have been put into this body and this brain and this consciousness, and it is my divine duty to, like, treat myself the best as possible and strive to have a good life. And for that reason, I will find myself to be deserving of having a good life because I'm the only thing that I can be from, like, a fucking, like, divine perspective. Does that make sense? Am I insane? That makes sense, right?

[B]

No, I love that. I really, I, I really, I really resonate with what you're saying right now, dude.

[A]

I, like, listen, I, I feel this way because I am on 200mg of caffeine right now. I want to feel that way every day. I literally, I, I, maybe this is. I don't know if I'm bipolar. I don't know, whatever the fuck, but I literally oscillate between, like, really feeling what I just said, which feels like a healthy amount of ego to have, and then the other thing. I feel it all. I feel like. I feel like lately I've been feeling more the other thing, which tells me I'm just some fudgeing asshole and why should I, you know? But that, that's, like, ego too, right? Isn't that more. That's like an unhealthy amount of, like. That's not good. That's not good for anyone, right?

[B]

I feel like you got to have a little bit of it, though. Like.

[A]

I agree, I agree, I agree, I agree. You have to hate. I also do believe, like, you have to. You have to be humbled in some sense, because you ever meet someone and they have. No, they don't hate themselves even a little bit. I can't. I can't, I can't.

[B]

Oh, yeah. It feels like they're LARPing at some point.

[A]

Yeah, definitely. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway this summer. Stock up on your favorite brands for both you and your home. Now through June 23rd, get big deals on everyday essentials from Procter and Gamble. Shop in store or online for savings on items like Swiffer Power Mop, Febreze Plug Warmer, Herbal Essence shampoo, Old Spice 2 in one, Crest Scope toothpaste, Secret Deodorant spray, and Head and Shoulder shampoo. Get these deals before they're gone. Offer ends June 23. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[B]

Number one hits, millions of records sold. Awards sold out tours.

[A]

You think the Jonas Brothers are satisfied? Nope.

[B]

It's podcast time.

[A]

We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions. A Jonas is available now, and their first guest is a big one, Paul Ruddy. You know, Steve Carell is a great singer. Didn't he tell you not to audition at the office or something? I told him, whoa. We were filming Anchorman. Clearly, I was the idiot. Thank God he didn't listen to me, right? Listen to hey, Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Saigon, the story of my family and of the country that shaped us.

[B]

The United States will not stand by and allow any town to, however great, take over another country.

[A]

From iheart Podcasts, Saigon. Please allow me to introduce Joseph Schulman. You don't think I'm serious about a free Vietnam? I should stop talking so much. I like hearing you talk. One city, a divided country and the war that tore America apart. This is for Vietnam. I've taken a hit from Japanese brown fire. Do you read me?

[B]

They're pouring petrol all over him. He's holding matches. I'm on a landmine for freedom. Let's get out. Freedom for it.

[A]

Saigon. Starring Kelly Marie Tran and Rob Benedict. Staying here's madness. The world should hear about this.

[B]

There's a fire coming to this country and it's going to burn out everything.

[A]

Listen to Saigon on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[B]

But, you know, I do want to, you know, note, I very much do love your content. And at some points I get a little. I get a little envious because of how often you travel. And sometimes I'm like, damn, you know, because, well, I don't think I told you, but, like, I. I have Like, I have a bachelor's in social work because I'm trying to get into social work and whatnot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I'm like, like, he's doing, he's doing some. That, like, I kind of want to do, but, you know, I, I ain't, I ain't built like that.

[A]

Built like what?

[B]

Like the whole like, social media thing, like, I kind of suck at.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I. One thing that is inherent in my wiring, like, from like, I kind of, I get it from my dad actually, is like, really? Yeah, like the marketing, you know, like, do it like how to like. Cuz. Yeah, it is a, it is kind of a thing in like to today's day and age, I suppose, where like, if you want to, you do have to like, learn the, the, the tricks of social media and marketing and, you know, funnels and algorithms and like that to like, enable you to like, do the actual work you want to do. Like. Yeah. When I was growing up, my dad, like, when I was in middle school and high school, my dad, like, hired me to like, help him run his like, Facebook account and his like, email funnels and his like, YouTube shit. So that's how I got into being like, oh, let me like, collect people's emails so I can message them when I have a tour or, oh, I can, I can utilize the attention that I get on one platform and funnel it into another platform. And yeah, I, I, I'm lucky that like, I, that like, brain, like some people, I'm lucky that I kind of grew up like, wired for that brain a little bit. But I totally get it. It's at the, like, after a certain point I do like, that brain, that like, version of thinking. It can't, it can lead you to a point where you're like, but like, there has to be something underneath it that you're like, actually doing. Because I see people who, they get into that brain of like, oh, how do I like, get views or whatever. But like under like that whole like, marketing brain or whatever has to be like something that props up like a real thing that you're doing. Like fucking, you know, like music or if you have like a movie that you made or like a book you wrote or like, I, I guess a podcast or whatever. Like some like, it has to be propped up by like, something that you're actually doing. Because if all you have is the marketing thing, it's like, what am I even doing right now? You know?

[B]

Right.

[A]

Sorry. I feel like I keep going on rants.

[B]

No, I love that.

[A]

Wait let's talk more about you. Sorry, I'm being a fucking crazy person right now.

[B]

No, you're cool.

[A]

Okay. All right. Tell me more about what you want to do. Let's talk about you. I gotta stop, I gotta, I gotta stop drinking energy drinks before the fucking podcast.

[B]

No, not your chill. I, I don't even know, bro. Because, like, well, for social work right now I have to go back to school to get my masters, right? I, well, I don't have to do it, but it's better if I do so because there's more opportunities, right? But like, recently what had happened with me is that I had applied, so I live in, I live in Cali, but I had applied for a probational, like, job, social work position in, in Honolulu, Hawaii, you know.

[A]

Oh, cool.

[B]

Cool, right? It's sick. And I, so I, I ended up getting the job. But the thing is, like, they didn't offer any like, relocation assistance. And it would have been like, for me, it would have been like 8 to 10k out of my pocket to like go out there, my car.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To, to get an apartment. Because like, a lot of the places I also reached out to were like, yeah, if you, if you want an apartment, you need a, you need a pay slip. And I'm like, well, I got a job out there. I'm moving out there for a job. Can I like, I can show you the official hiring email and then I can get it, I can get you a face up later. And they're like, you know, just, just reach out to us when you get a pay slip. So I was like, okay, well, you know, my mom had the idea of like, oh, you know, you should get a hotel for like two weeks, get your pay slip and then move, you know, into apartment.

[A]

It's a good idea.

[B]

It's, it's a good idea. It's also like kind of like a gamble too because, you know, Hawaii is expensive as, and if I get like my pay slip, there's no guarantee that they're gonna like let me into an apartment, you know, So I didn't, I didn't want to move out there, be like 10k plus in debt. And like the job, the job is really cool, but it was Also only like 25 an hour, you know, So I, I, I, I, I got into my own head and I like end up backing out for the job and I was just like, oh, I just, I feel like, because I've been applying to like, I spent all of last year applying to like different case manager positions. Different, different like behavioral technician positions and whatnot. And like I, I get like a handful of interviews. I'll go through it. Nothing. And then I get the one job that's across the water and then I can't go because I don't have like enough money saved. I don't want to like put myself in further debt.

[A]

Wait, question. So it's 10k to relocate because you have to like how much of that is shipping the car? Like do you need the car there

[B]

ideally? Well, the car is like, it was like 24 to 2400 to 3K. They measure it also like by weight.

[A]

Okay. So and then this and this job, they're not going to give you like a relocation stipend?

[B]

No. Like no, no airplane comp. No, I, I would, I'll take like Section 8 out there, you know, like throw me. Yeah, throw me in like a tiny ass little apartment. You know, I'll take that. But you know, there was no, no, no assistance whatsoever. Which I, I feel is kind of silly for a government job on an island to not have relocation assistance, you know?

[A]

Right.

[B]

But I think it's also just me coping with having terrible financial habits.

[A]

What kind of financial habits do you have that are terrible?

[B]

I'm just very impulsive and like, it's like hard for me to save. I think this is another thing too. Like when, when I was, I used to be, I used to be egregiously depressed, you know, Like I, I went to therapy and I, my, my therapist diagnosed me with a major depressive disorder, you know, and he put me on antidepressants and whatnot. And so I was just egregiously depressed. I had like no dopamine, you know, from my brain being silly. I was on the antidepressants, but they told me I shouldn't take caffeine. But I used to drink like soda like all the time and, and coffee and whatnot. So like the anti suppressors didn't do their full job, you know, so like I would just spend money on, on to like give myself temporary satisfaction, you know, like, like I fucking micro transactions in Overwatch or, or Magic the Gathering cards or.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, totally.

[B]

Yeah. But yeah, so I just, I just kind of put myself in a hole because then for the longest time I had a part time job for a city and like I did like maybe 20 hours of work a week. So I get like, you know, what little money I had went to bills and then everything else was just shitty spending.

[A]

Wait, sorry, this is a side note, but your gym is very Very far away.

[B]

Oh, no, I'm. I'm. I'm parked in my car. Like, I'm chilling.

[A]

Oh, okay. I thought, I thought, I thought your gym was 35 minutes away from wherever you were.

[B]

Oh, no, I'm here. Does this sound better?

[A]

Oh, sure. Yeah, it does. Sounds way better.

[B]

Okay. Awesome. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. So are, Are you still doing a. Are you still, like, addicted to, like, dopamine loops?

[B]

Yes, but it's. I, I want to say it's getting better, but it's still, like, a little prevalent, you know?

[A]

Yeah, no, dude, I have the same. I, I. Yeah, like, no, when you're really depressed, you'll, like, go. You're just. There's something about, like, I, like yesterday I walked by, like, a frozen yogurt store. Like, I'm truly just abandoned frozen yogurt place that nobody ever goes into. And I was, like, stoked. I was like, oh, I get to be happy for like, five seconds. You know? That's what it is.

[B]

Right?

[A]

So I'm like, yeah, it's a very, like, brain. Brain chemistry dependent thing. But you feel. About the beginning of this call, you said that you were feeling better about all that. Do you feel like. Do you feel like you are.

[B]

I feel like, overall, I'm like. Because part of my, like, depression back then was like, I just. I wanted to die, you know, like straight up, like. Or I'm sorry, I don't know if I'm able to say that, but, you know, like, it was like the worst of the worst of thoughts I used to have. Like, it would infester and snowball and like, I. I draw, you know, I, I drive to unsafe places and kind of just like watch the waters go, you know, But. But like, I don't do that anymore, you know, I. Overall, I've, like, learned to enjoy life for what it is. And I think, like, I'm. I want to say I'm like 75% happy with my life. And then, you know, the, the rest of the percent is like, right. It's. It's getting better. The rest of the percentage is just like, you know, I really need to, like, have better money, financial skills and whatnot. And, and like, properly, like, I. I don't want to cut myself off of spending on myself, you know, But I also would really like to not be dropping, you know, hella money when I don't need to be. Yeah.

[A]

What. What was the thing you spent the most money on when you were trying to feel something?

[B]

Oh, my God. Food. I was a fat.

[A]

Oh, yeah, dude, dude, listen to this. I went to Burger King yesterday, okay? I got a Whopper, a medium, fries and a drink. Guess how much money that was.

[B]

Did you use the value menu or.

[A]

No, no, I used that just regular Whopper. Why? Whopper's not on.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Menu.

[B]

I'm a guess. $15?

[A]

$17? What happened to our country? $17 for a Whopper, fries and a drink?

[B]

It's egregious. It's terrible.

[A]

And I paid it. I'm part of the problem. Oh, God. I remember holding it and being like. And also, it was like pathetic looking too. It was like. It wasn't even like a. Like a Five Guys burger where it's like. All right, there's some premiumness to this, but. What's your name again, man?

[B]

Lee.

[A]

Lee. I enjoyed having this conversation with you, Lee.

[B]

I did, too. You've given me a lot to think about.

[A]

Okay, good, good, good. What. What should. What should we. How should we end this? What should we say? What should we do? What do you think?

[B]

Am I allowed to. To plug my. My amateur photography account?

[A]

Sure, man.

[B]

Sick. What's it called? It's called the Daily Dougal Photography on Instagram.

[A]

The Daily What?

[B]

Bugle likes, you know, like Spider Man. The Daily Bugle.

[A]

It's. It's the Daily. The Daily Bugle.

[B]

Yes. Photography.

[A]

So you stole it from Spider Man?

[B]

Hey, the. The. The. The tag was open on Instagram, so I took it. I hope I don't get like, copyright strike through, Ken. I don't even know.

[A]

No, I don't. That they don't own the. That way. It's just the Daily Bugle photography.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And there's no stop and there's no. Oh, are you Spider Man?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, that's me.

[A]

Okay, cool. All right, so you got a picture of a cat. Wait, this is Night. Wait, this is a great photography page. I like this. I'm following. I just followed. You got a picture. Look at this. You got a picture of the sun. You. A picture of a flower. You got a picture of a bird. The sky. Wait, everyone follow this guy's photography page. The Daily Bugle photography. Wait, look at this one. Paradise Falls.

[B]

Oh, that's a good trail.

[A]

Yeah, I scrolled through your whole page. This is nice. This is a. This is like. This is. This page kind of looks like if this should be on the Golden Record that we send out into outer space for the aliens, you know, it's just kind of. It's pretty perfect.

[B]

That's. That's a Heidi My Mighty. That's a Mighty high compliment.

[A]

I mean that with. I really. I mean that with all of Mike. I'm so serious right now. Like, it's. This is just. This is just a guy taking photos of the earth that he landed on. This is exactly this. You're. This. I don't know. I'm. This is what it feels like to be alive. This is. Is looking through. I'm looking through your page. I'm like, this is. It feels like I found something. Is a. It's a sunset, a flower, a cat. This is very pure. You know, there's no. Nothing flashy, nothing crazy. And even that. Look at the. Look at the fucking caption, too. What's up, y'? All? This is my average photography page that I will try to post consistently on. Let me know what you like and don't like about my posts. I let your open the criticism, but you're also, you know, I. This is a. This is a good. Wait, is that you? No, it's just Spider man in the. This is a great page. I'm a huge fan. I'm gonna comment Nice. On the. This picture of the sunset. Wow. It's a picture of the sunset. It says summer is almost upon us. Hashtag summer, hashtag beach.

[B]

Yeah, I had to do the hashtags to. To try and get, like, something some more likes or spread, you know, whatever media stuff.

[A]

This is perfect. But everyone, thank you, man. Check out this guy's photography page. What's your name again?

[B]

I'm Lee.

[A]

Lee. Lee, is there anything you want to say to the people of the computer

[B]

before we go go to therapy? Gecko Live shows? I went to your first one in la.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And yeah.

[A]

What year? What year?

[B]

Let me. I, I. Let me see if I can find the pick the selfie real quick. 2022. May 2, 2022.

[A]

Oh, okay. That really was my first live show. Yeah. The Lodge room. Yeah. Damn. Hell, yeah. Nice to finally talk to you.

[B]

Yes. I have a selfie with you. I was. I was a little drunk that night, funny enough.

[A]

Lee, thank you very much for calling, and good luck with the rest of your entire life. This was a nice conversation.

[B]

Thank you. I really appreciate that. You know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do better to be more instinctual. Like you like the. I liked what you said earlier about the whole listening to your gut and doing. Doing what you want to do and not want it in. I'm gonna do that. All right.

[A]

I'll try to do that too. Because everything I just told you about this, it's just a. It's just. It's just. It's just behavioral theory for me. I've been. I've been ignoring my gut a lot. But yeah, I'm gonna try to do that too. All right, we'll both. We'll make a pact. We'll both try to be better about stuff.

[B]

I'll gladly make that pact.

[A]

Swag. I'll see you around the Universally.

[B]

Thank you. I love you.

[A]

Love you too, buddy. See you late.

[B]

Bye. Bye, dude.

[A]

Once again, please go follow the daily Bugle photography on Instagram. Look, he just took a picture of a peloton. Why am I obsessed with. I don't know if this is the Celsius talking, but I'm obsessed with this. He took a picture of a tree. This is a perfect Instagram page. Please go look at this. Therapy get goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night. Therapy get goes Doing it right, Teaching you how to live your life. But he's not really an expert. When Kohler, global design leader in luxurious kitchen and bath products, asked me to be their ambassador for timeless, elegant, durable cast iron, I said, I'm in. Soon after, I was in their Kohler, Wisconsin foundry watching molten iron poured, enamel applied by hand, and the beautiful finished pieces ready to ship.

[B]

Since 1883, Kohler cast iron has been

[A]

crafted by incredible artisans, and seeing it firsthand gave me a whole new appreciation for their craftsmanship. Now I'm proud to lend my stamp

[B]

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[A]

iron products for their durability, beauty, and enduring style. Shop my curated [e-mail] as the Kohler cast Iron Ambassador, I say, long live cast iron. Lots of places can expose you to identity theft. That's why LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity, which is way more than anyone can do on their own. If we find anything suspicious like new loans or changes to your financial accounts, we alert you right away, all through text, phone, email, or the LifeLock app. Save up to 30% your first year. Visit lifelock.com iheart Terms apply. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Summer is here and the sun is out. Make sure you take care of your skin this summer. Now through June 23rd. Shop for you. Save days and get great savings on all your favorite skincare Essentials. And earn 4 times points. Shop in store or online and save on sunblock from Neutrogena Sun, Bum Hawaiian Tropic, Banana Boat, and Coppertone. And earn four times points to use for future savings on groceries or gas. Offer ends June 23rd. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details. Protein packed meals in 10 minutes TikTok's got millions of them. Could you whip one up in under eight? Probably. But hey, it's not a race. Grab the recipes on TikTok and start cooking. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.