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Tim Allen
ABC Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star in the new family comedy Shifting Gears.
Lyle
Dad, I'm broke and I need a place to stay until I figure out what the rest of my life looks like. So a couple of days.
Max
I love it when his daughter moves back in.
Lyle
The last time you walked out that door, you looked back at me and gave me a double bird. I was 18. The double bird was how I ended all our conversations. The wheels come off. Can we try to talk to each other like rational adults?
Ken Mears
Have you watched the news lately?
Lyle
That's not a thing anymore.
Max
New Wednesdays, 8.7Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.
Lyle
Where'd you get those shoes?
Daniel
Easy.
Matt Rogers
They're from dsw. Because DSW has the exact right shoes for whatever you're into right now. You know, like the sneakers that make office hours feel like happy hour, the.
Lyle
Boots that turn grocery aisles into runways.
Matt Rogers
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Lyle
To multitasker and everything in between.
Matt Rogers
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Lyle
Find a shoe for every you at.
Matt Rogers
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Ken Mears
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Matt Rogers
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Lyle
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Bowen Yang
This is Matt Rogers from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Save the date for your Cordially Invited, a hilarious new wedding comedy starring Will Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon. Chaos ensues when two weddings are accidentally booked on the same weekend at the same venue. Uh oh. Will Ferrell plays the father of the bride and Reese Witherspoon is the sister of the other bride. And they go head to head to make sure the ones they love get their special day together on screen. For the first time ever, it's Ferrell versus Witherspoo. Comedy and alligator wrestling await you, and you're cordially invited. Watch January 30th on Prime Video.
Lyle
Hello?
Daniel
Hello? Can you hear me?
Lyle
Yes, sir. What's your name?
Daniel
I guess I'd prefer if you give me a name. So that's cool.
Lyle
All right. I'm gonna call you Daniel. What's up, Daniel?
Daniel
That's funny. That's my best friend's name. Not much. I guess I was calling because I was looking for some outside perspective on my current situation.
Lyle
What's your current Situation.
Daniel
I am, I'm on disability due to my mental health. I have schizophrenia, PTSD and a few other things. But I want to start my own business and I, I'm just kind of like paranoid that if I do that, you know, the government's gonna tell me that I don't need the disability anymore. And then if my business doesn't work out, I'm kind of fucked.
Lyle
So. Daniel, I, I think you know this already, but I, I'm not a real therapist, nor do I know anything about government benefits or anything like that. So I have my. Any information I could possibly give you is gonna be completely worthless. But we can talk through it a little bit if, if, if you'd like.
Daniel
Yeah, I mean, I guess I'm just kind of looking for like a outside perspective. Not really any, any advice or anything like that.
Lyle
Okay, well, I mean, look, I mean, let me ask you this. You so, you so, okay, so you're getting like benefits from, you're getting money from, from Uncle Sam. And do you know for a fact that if you go and start a business and become a. We're gonna get into some, we're gonna get into some weeds here, okay? If you become a, a 1099 independent contractor employee, as you would for your business, if you become a self employed individual and start, you know, make it a little bit of that 1099 money, do you know for a fact that the government is going to tell you to fuck off?
Daniel
I don't know that for a fact, but the work I would be doing is pretty much the same thing that I was doing before I had my mental breakdown and got on disability.
Lyle
Okay? So here's the thing is you should, you should find that out because my outside perspective to this is the, the, the. One of the great cures to paranoia is evidence, facts. You know, this is, this is like an empirical thing that you're talking about here. So go, go ask an accountant, man. Go ask. Bring the, bring this inquiry to the people who, who would know. And I just, that that's my general thing is like, you know, you could be paranoid about something and roll it over in your head over and over again, but it's foolish to do that about something like this where you could just look it up on the Internet or talk to somebody who knows about it, you know. So it's surprisingly weirdly common for people to just decide out of theory, thin air a fact and do no research on it. Low, low key. Possibly because they secretly want some excuse to not do something which I, by the way I get. Because excuses to not do things are awesome. They, they make it so that you don't have to do anything, which is sometimes cool. But dude, fucking, you know, get, get off, get off the phone with me and go talk to a tax attorney or something like that. You know, instead of stewing around and worrying, why don't you, why don't you do some. This, this is my long winded version of telling you to just Google it.
Daniel
I have, I have googled it my fair share of research. But the. Okay, the consensus is a pretty mixed bag where some people will be able to work and receive money both from their own employment and the government and other people are just kind of kicked off without any explanation. It's kind of just like if they.
Lyle
Well, let me, let me. What's, what's the, what's the, what's the business, what's the business you want to do? Can I ask that?
Daniel
Yeah, yeah. I, I make jewelry.
Lyle
Okay. So you think that if you start an Etsy the government is going to kick you off of your disability?
Daniel
Not necessarily. If I did like an Etsy, because I think they do have, I think they do have some kind of leeway if you're just kind of like pawning off your hobbies. But I, I want to make it like a, a full scale business. I mean, just, it would only be me. I'm not trying to like employ other people, but you know, I want to.
Lyle
Selling. I. What is that? What is the difference between those two things?
Daniel
I guess the difference would be how much money I make off of it.
Lyle
Yeah, yeah. You know, I'm, I guess I, I'm, I'm slightly confused at what you just said because you were like, I don't want to start an online shop where I just pawn off jewelry I make. I want to open a shop where I sell jewelry I make.
Daniel
Well, no, I mean, I mean like, I like, I don't want to, I don't want to like only be confined to like an Etsy type marketplace. You know, I want to like make my own site, have my own line and, and you know.
Lyle
Yeah.
Daniel
Kind of make my own style.
Lyle
Sure, sure, sure. But we're, I mean, we're getting into the weeds of, of that, like, you know, the, these, these, these unimportant logistics aside, you want to open a business starting selling jewelry and I guess like, I don't know, man. Yeah, I mean, I, if you really want my outside opinion, you should just do it. You should just do it and yeah, you should just do it. And here's the thing. I. Again, you should. Please, dear God, I know you said you've done some research, but please, dear God, talk to somebody who's not me about this because I don't have any of this information and I'm gonna fly blind on it. But like, dude, just do it. Because if you want to, if you want to do something, you should, you should do it. You're gonna fucking die and be nothing forever. So just do it. And worst case scenario, if you start making. If the worst case scenario is that you start making so much shit, tons of money selling jewelry that you don't need government disability anymore, isn't that a good thing? Isn't that what you want?
Daniel
Well, that's, that's what I want. But if it doesn't pan out, then, you know, it's not just me.
Lyle
Again, you should, you should, you should, you should really talk to somebody who's not me about this. But like, if you make like $8,000 in a year selling jewelry on Etsy, I don't think the government is going to take away your benefits. Please take, please don't take my word for that. Please go talk to somebody who knows. But from a general, philosophical, outside perspective on this situation, I would say to you, you know, I guess, I guess to figure it out and not just like, let the, you know, not to make again, I'm being such. This is why one of the reasons I hate giving advice is because I'm a hypocrite about it, but it's like, you know, idea. The reason I hate giving advice is because I'm noticing your. I, you're making like, you're like operating out of fear. This is like a fear based indecision, which I am the king in my personal life of fear based indecisions. And so it makes me feel gross to tell you to not operate from, from a fear basis because I am familiar with what that looks like. But from an outsider perspective, feel gross, man. You know, that's what I'm seeing here. So I mean, just so. So I would say, I mean, yeah, stop doing that and figure out how to sell your jewelry, man. Goddamn.
Daniel
Yeah, Yeah, I know. I just like, I'm. It makes me so worried because like, you know, I, I live with my partner and our kid and we just bought a house and my partner recently got laid off. So kind of everything is, is hinging on my very minimal money that I get. And if the government tells me, you know, you were already doing this before, so you can do it Again, then, like, I don't know.
Lyle
Okay. I don't want to, I don't want, I don't want to get. I don't, I don't look at. Yeah, well, I don't want to get too deep in, like, the weeds because this is like, Bjork. I'm, you know, I'm sitting here in my polyester gecko suit trying to give advice about government bureaucracies. But, like, let me ask you this. Well, so what you said.
Daniel
I just want to chat.
Lyle
Yeah. So I'm curious, like, before you were on disability, what were you do. Were you a W2 employee at a. Like, what were you doing?
Daniel
Yeah, I was working for the Jared.
Lyle
You were working for Jared?
Daniel
Under. Yeah, under. I was doing, like, repairs and, and stuff.
Lyle
Okay. And you were doing that as a salaried W2 employee with benefits.
Daniel
Yes.
Lyle
Okay. That's significantly different than, you know, making some extra money selling jewelry on your Etsy store.
Daniel
Yeah.
Lyle
I do not know if the government.
Daniel
I'm doing the same stuff with my hands. You know what I mean?
Lyle
Yeah. But I don't think that's what the. I, I, I, Again, I really, I hate, I hate, I hate saying these things because you should absolutely talk to a person who knows. But from my dumbass, uninformed perspective, I would assume that the actual thing you're doing matters less than, like, the setup of the, you know, you're, you're, you have a, you have a business. You're 1099 employee. It's very different from being W2ED. Whether or not. Like, because you're not, you're not doing the same thing. You're starting a. Whether or not the. Yeah, you're not doing the same thing. It's doing a totally different thing. You're starting your own business. You're probably, at least at the very, at least at the very beginning, going to be making significantly less money than you were making before. But, you know, the, in the ideal version of your life, I assume you start this little business and eventually you start making enough money that you don't even want the fucking government disability anymore because you're making so much money doing this thing. But, like, to, to be, to be too scared to try. I, I don't know, it just, it just seems figureoutable. And again, please, dear fucking God, go talk to somebody who, you know, I. Go talk to a tax douche or, or, you know, government. Yeah. Don't, don't ask me about these things. I don't know. But if, if, if this conversation can be a catalyst for you to go figure it out, then great. But, yeah, I mean, don't. I wouldn't sit around being scared about it. I would just, you know, go. Go do it. Sounds like you. It sounds like something you want to do, so just fucking do it.
Daniel
Yeah. Yeah, that was a good point too, with, you know, the tax forms and having it be completely different because it's not in the same environment. I never really looked at it that way.
Lyle
No, this is. I don't think the government care. I think they're just looking. They don't really. I think they care less about what you do and more about the. The how. How. How what you do is organized. Anyway. Anyway, I've got a lot of people on the other line who are trying to ask me about tax advice, and I gotta get to them. So is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Daniel
Yeah, actually, I'd like to just say please don't stigmatize people with schizophrenia or similar mental illnesses. A lot of people tend to think that I'm a dangerous person when. When they find out that I have schizophrenia and it kind of alienates you. But, you know, not. Not everybody's like that. You know, sometimes we just see and hear things, and other than that, you know, we're regular people.
Lyle
Does the schizophrenia help you make cooler jewelry?
Daniel
You know, honestly, I. I kind of think it does because I tend to see things a little differently, I guess.
Lyle
Right. What kind of pieces do you.
Daniel
Yeah, I can do with. With the equipment I have. I can do rings, chains, basic, like, pendant work. I can set stones into whatever. I mostly work with silver because, I mean, obviously I'm only getting like 1400amonth. I can't afford gold, but, yeah, I could make most of you know what you would see at, like, a craft fair.
Lyle
Well, my friend, I. I hope. I hope that you figure out how to start selling jewelry, because I don't. I don't. I think, you know, it sounds like something that's. I think if you have. If you have something like that that you like to do, you know, I mean, it's. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a gift. So, you know, go do stuff, I guess. I guess. I guess. I hope you find someone who's not a gecko to talk to about this stuff. Thank you for calling, Daniel. Have a good rest of the night and good luck, man. Thanks, man. I appreciate you saying that. Thanks, man. Thank you. Bye. Bye.
Daniel
Bye.
Lyle
Hello?
Daniel
Hello?
Lyle
Hi.
Daniel
Hey.
Lyle
What's your name?
Daniel
My name's Max.
Lyle
Max. What's up, Max? How's life?
Daniel
Good. What. What's your name?
Lyle
My name is Lyle.
Daniel
Oh, Lyle.
Lyle
Hey. Hi. Hey.
Daniel
I. I actually met you, like, last year, I think.
Lyle
Where did. Where did we meet?
Daniel
It was in South Carolina, in Greenville.
Lyle
Oh, kick ass. Kick ass.
Daniel
Yeah. Yeah. Small. It was a. But, yeah, I was. I brought my friend that she didn't know you about. Like, she had no idea who you were. And. Yeah, so it was. It was pretty cool.
Lyle
Did she have fun? Did she have a fun time at the show?
Daniel
Yeah, yeah, she really. She really enjoyed it. I don't know if she listens to your podcast now, but, yeah, I introduced you her to you, so, yeah, it was pretty cool.
Lyle
Well, that's cool. I'm glad that she didn't. I'm glad that she didn't go see the show and then come up with a plan to assassinate me.
Daniel
Yeah, I don't think she's that kind of person, but. Yeah, I don't got. I don't got. I don't know anybody that would do that.
Lyle
Max. Max. What's up? What brings you to call into my Gecko show today?
Daniel
Okay. Well, you know, I mean, obviously everybody has so many problems all the time, but my current problem, well, not really a problem, but it was. It was something I wanted to talk to you about. So I'm in Houston, Texas, and so it's supposed to snow, like, in the morning, tomorrow morning. And I wanted to. I wanted to visit. I wanted to visit my boyfriend. He's, like, in the north side of Houston. I'm in the south. And, like, it was gonna snow. So I was like, you know what? We're not gonna do anything tomorrow, and it's gonna be snowed in. So I was like, you know, we just. We're just gonna go. We're just gonna go over there. I'm gonna just go over there and, you know, we can just do nothing together in the snow or make snowmans or whatever, you know?
Lyle
Sounds nice. Yeah, it sounds nice. What's the issue?
Daniel
Yeah, so I live with. I live with my mom, right. So I told her. I told her I was like, I'm gonna go to my boyfriend's house and. Because we're not going to do anything tomorrow anyway because there's a snow, you know? Right. So I told her that, and she was like, have you seen the weather? It's going to snow. You're not going to be able to make it out of the house tomorrow. I was like, it's going to snow like 2 inches. So what? It's going to be gone by like.
Lyle
So, so wait a minute. So what again? What's the, what's the issue is like your mom, is your mom forbidding you from going?
Daniel
She, she cop blocked me, bro. I was trying to get some. I'm trying to get some.
Lyle
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Max, Max, Max. How old, how old are you?
Daniel
Why does it matter?
Lyle
It may. Matt, are you above the age of 18? How old are you?
Daniel
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm 26.
Lyle
You're 26? Matt, Max, are you there?
Daniel
Yeah, I'm here. Can you hear me?
Lyle
You're 26. You're my. Look at 26. Your mom cannot block you, okay?
Daniel
But I live with her, you know, that's the thing. And I'm Mexican, so it's like I have to live by like my Mexican parents rules because I live with.
Lyle
No, you do not though. You do not though. You do not, though. You do not, though. You do not. I mean, look, sure, you know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? Sure. If you're living. Sure. If you're living with your mom and yeah. And your mom is like, well, my house, my rules. I mean that sucks though. Do you, I mean like it's, it's.
Daniel
Really not that bad because she lets me, she, she doesn't tell me like no a lot.
Lyle
So this is like, bro, but bro, but bro. All right, do you. I, but here's the thing. And I don't, I want to like tread carefully on this because I understand and I lived with my parents for a fair amount of time after, you know, school and, and I understand that we live in a tough economy and a lot of you gotta, you know, I, I get it. I totally get it. But like, I mean, do you have, do you, do you. Are you attempting to leave your parents house?
Daniel
Like what do you mean attempting to leave? As in like when they move out? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Lyle
Okay.
Daniel
Obviously, yeah. I'm not trying to be like 40 and still live with my parents. Like, yeah, the goal is to like have my own place someday. Obviously. It's just like if I'm just not financially there and if they allow it, then I sure will live for like, you know, with my parents.
Lyle
Sure.
Daniel
As long as I can. But people in the chat saying I don't sound 26, I know I sound like a freaking 18 year old just because of the way I talk, but.
Lyle
Don'T, don't, don't don't, don't look at, don't look at the chat. Don't look at the chat. Let's just talk, okay?
Daniel
It's too late. All right, all right. So yeah, that was my issue as, as of today, but it's okay.
Lyle
Okay. I mean. Oh, well, yeah, I mean, like. Yeah, I mean, dude. Well, here's the thing is like, Norm, normally I would be like, your mom can't tell you what to do, but I guess if, if you're. Yeah, I guess. I guess if you live at her house, she like kind of totally can tell you what to do. She.
Daniel
Yeah, that's, that's exactly what I was thinking. I mean, low key, I was about to say, like, I don't really care. Imma still go. But then she just kind of like, oh, if it was, if it was your dad, you would probably listen to her. I mean, listen to him. I was like, all right, you know what? If it makes you happy, then fine, I'll stay here, okay? Just because of the 2 inches of snow is such a big deal to you. I'll just stay.
Lyle
Do you have. I, I will. I. I mean, do you, do you have a diva. John? Hello? Hello? Okay, this person, all right, this person has disappeared. This person is gone. Yeah, I don't know. That's a tough debate again. I, like, this is a tough one to talk about because like I told, like it is, it is just such a, like economy and it's hard for people and like, you know, it's hard, it's hard to like the, the getting the money to like get a security deposit and find a place and do all that stuff is like a like extreme burden unfortunately. But yeah, I don't know. I don't know. That's a tough one. And I also think that like, I also like fully am in favor of like living at your parents house to save up money. You know, I mean, that's what I was doing when I first like, you know, graduated college and shit. Like, I think, I think it's a good thing to do. But it's tough, it's tough to, it's tough to manage that and like get yourself in a, a good, like financial position while also dealing with like, you know, having, having to suck up to your parents and like deal with all their shit. That's tough. I don't know. But yeah, I don't know. I hope that this caller can go have sex with her boyfriend and live a happy life with the best all.
Matt Rogers
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Max
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Lyle
To the later years of still figuring it out.
Max
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Lyle
Hello?
Max
Yeah, Lyle.
Lyle
Hey, what's up? What's your name?
Max
Hey, it's Max. I actually sent you an email for the Geck mail for a father issue.
Lyle
Did I read it on the podcast?
Max
Yeah, yeah, you did. It was the. It was the one where you did the Geck mail one, and then you did phone calls as well.
Lyle
Oh, what was the email that you sent?
Max
It was about father issues. It was, like, stuff about, like, making my dad proud. And, like, I have these classes for, like, calc 2 and, like, physics and stuff like that.
Lyle
Yeah, I remember that. You were kind of. You were sort of talking about, like, you know, like, a pressure to do better in your classes, to, like, not disappoint your parents. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where. Where you at with that?
Max
You know, I'm still in the same boat, to be honest with you. I actually did want to go a little more in depth with that because it's not just like, I don't know if it's making my parents proud. I don't know. I'd like to go more.
Daniel
Well.
Lyle
Well, do it. Well, do us. Do us a favor for those who have not heard me read that email, and as a refresher for everyone involved, why don't you. Why don't you start from scratch?
Max
Yeah, for sure. So I am a second year in a university, and last semester I took some really hard classes. And the main point is that I showed my dad my grades, and they were all pretty much A's, and there was just that one C. And he looked at that one C and then called me out for it. And I was just pretty upset about that. So I just didn't know where to go from there. So that. That was, like, the whole point of that email. I'd like to get a little more in depth with that.
Lyle
Sure. I mean, I mean, yeah, I have thoughts, and they're probably similar to the thoughts I expressed when I read the email, but. Yeah. What. What more death. What more depth do you want to get into?
Max
So actually, this was literally almost gonna be a year ago. So this was actually the 7th of February. It was around, like, 3am another. For some context, I. My dad has an auto shop, so it's like a family business that we have And I always go there and like help out. And yeah, around that time he's actually having some chest pains. And I guess he had to go to the hospital at like three and then it ended up being his main arteries was clogged like 95%. So I'm guessing if he didn't go, he'd be dead probably so. So the reason why I wanted to make him, in a way, proud, because when he left, I'm almost with him for, you know, obviously.
Lyle
Right.
Max
So I. There's no one left to cover the business, so it's just me. So by that time I was like 18, still. I was still 18. I don't know about running a business. I don't know anything. So it was just me, my two co workers, and that's it. Literally nothing more than that. And I'm also juggling like, like going to work, opening up in the morning, going to classes. And I had to do that for like a month and a half while he was in the hospital and also recovering. So honestly, that took a really, really big mental tone on me. And I just like, I had no social life in any means whatsoever. And yeah, definitely that time sucked. And that's like one of the reasons why I wanted to make him proud of me. And I also saw it and I kind of expected him to acknowledge like everything that I've gone through. And like, I. I'm not expecting. I'm not saying like, he's a reason that I'm going through this hell or whatever, that that's like out of his control, but I just wanted some sort of validation from him and I just didn't get that like, at all in any means. So I just. I didn't get anything. And like, I. I failed one class, but it's like I actually still passed it either way. So it's fine. I passed everything and I was still doing this back and forth and I'm just not getting anything from that dude. And I understand that you and I have said this already, that, hey, like, you already know that you're proud of yourself, of everything that you've done and you don't need from this dude, but I just want something that's like. That's like the only thing I want. So I. I don't know, it's a lot. I'm not looking for anything for you to say or anything. Just like, I don't know your thoughts or whatever.
Lyle
And why you're. What, you're 19 now?
Max
19.
Lyle
And well, I get. What are you studying again? Remind me you talked about a little.
Max
Bit in the email, like, mechanical engineering.
Lyle
Is that what you want to be doing?
Max
Yes, it's exactly whatever you want to be doing.
Lyle
Okay, great.
Max
If I didn't have that, I'd be working McDonald's, dude.
Lyle
Okay, great. Okay, great. Okay, great. Everything. I have a question. Everything that you just said to me, have you ever. Have you ever said any of this to your dad? Have you ever told your dad, like, if you ever see. Ever sat with your dad and been like, yo, dude, I fucking have been doing so much shit for you, you know, because here's the thing. Like, you're like, you don't have to do any of that shit. Your dad, Your dad gave birth to a son, not a fucking employee. You know, like, like, like, like you, you did all that shit for him because, like, because you wanted to and you felt a responsibility too, and you rose to the responsibility that you felt you had. It's a very admirable thing to do, and you certainly feel that way. And have you ever sat down with your dad and been like, yo, like, I did a bunch of work for you. I helped you out a lot. I've been putting in a lot to, you know, have a good relationship with you and to try to make you proud and to, you know, I've been putting in a lot here, and I don't. I'm not getting anything from you. You know what? The. Have you sat him down? Not those exact words, but have you sat him down and expressed that to you? That. That to him?
Max
Not those exact words. I. I didn't mention it to him once, but this was like, maybe a, like a couple of weeks almost to a month after he got out, and I didn't mention it to him, and he just kind of, like, shrugged it off in a way. So I didn't really get like a, like a full on, like, response from him.
Lyle
So he. So you, you brought all this to his attention? He just shrugged it off.
Max
In a way, yeah, in a way. Yeah. So it's just like, like, like, what more can I do? There's not more that I can do, like, legitimately. That's why I tell you. And you told me as well. Okay. Like, again, you know, you're proud of yourself, and I think that's all I need. I don't need from this dude. So I don't know.
Lyle
I'm sorry. Yeah, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.
Max
By the way, I don't. I don't know if this helps. I don't even know if I could Say this on the stream, but I. I literally been working there since I was like, 15, 14. I don't know if that gives any, like, help. But, yeah, I don't know. I've just. I've been at this for a while. Not, yeah, handling this alone, but I've been at this for a while.
Lyle
Yeah, I'm. I'm like, no, sincerely, I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm very sorry to hear that your dad has not been appreciative of your efforts, and I hope that that doesn't affect your own personal view of yourself. And, dude, I don't know, it's like, you're kind of right. It's like, yeah, what the fuck more can you do? Like, all you, like, in any relationship of any kind, it's like you put in, like, you put in effort to it, and like, if the other person is not appreciative of your efforts, you know, you can communicate that you can go, hey, dad, what the fuck? I've been doing all this work and you've, you know, never tell me, you know, that you're proud of me and any of this stuff. And if he shrugs it off, dude, I don't know. It sucks, but it's like, yeah, I guess there is nothing that you can do except there. I guess there is nothing that you can do except be like, all right, you know what? If you're not gonna appreciate me, I'm just. I'm not gonna do any shit for you anymore. You know, I'm not 15 anymore. I don't, you know, need you. I'm gonna just, like, do my own shit. I'm gonna try to get good grades because I like what I'm doing. And, you know, I'm not gonna let you be in control of me emotionally. You know, we're getting into. We're getting into such, like. This is like, such like, real therapy shit right here. But, like.
Daniel
Yeah.
Lyle
But yeah, I'm deeply sorry to hear that that. That, yeah, you're dealing with this shit from your dad. It's tough.
Max
Yeah.
Lyle
Cuz, like.
Max
Yeah.
Lyle
I don't know. I feel like if you're like. If you're like a parent, you know, like, you got to like that, like, like, like love and appreciation has to be, like, virtually, like, unconditional. You know, I think that's kind of like a contract for doing something like that, so. And I feel. I feel. I feel bad for people who, you know, have not, like, you know, don't have that as their experience. And it's a bummer. And I guess the best that you can, like, because it's like, yeah, what the fuck can you do? Because after you've communicated with it and after you put in all this effort, bro, the. The best you can do is, like, take this. This is gonna sound, like, kind of, like, sweet and corny, but, like, dude, I mean, the best you can do is, like, examine what you're not getting from your dad and, like, give it to other people. You know what I mean? Like, you look at your dad and be like. You look at your dad and be like, oh, he's not appreciative. He's not this. He's not that. And be like, okay, how in my relationships, like, I don't know if you have a, you know, fucking girlfriend or friends or, like, whatever. It's like, in my relationships that I don't want to be like this. Like, how can I be. Be better so I don't make other people feel the way that, like, my fucking dad is making me feel, you know, I mean, that's. That in terms of, like, how you can feel like you have some control of the situation, that. That kind of seems like it makes sense.
Max
Dude, that's so real honest, too, because I'm. It's actually my last day when I break, so I'm actually really happy that I don't have to go back to work. I'm happy about that. I don't. I don't really care. But, dude, that's such a good point, because every dude. I'm spent with this dude every single fucking day. And for some reason, I don't know, I just see myself and my dad now, and I'm like, I don't want to be like this fucking dude. Really fucking don't. This dude. Fucking stubborn as hell. This dude's a baby about not everything, but it's the smallest little thing. And I act like that sometimes, too, and I'm like, dude, I don't want to be around this dude.
Lyle
But, yeah, dude. And that. That. But that's the end. That's the crazy. That's. That's, like, how you can be productive about it is like. Like, you know, unfortunately, it's like, yeah, you look like if you look at your dad and you see much like. Like you just said, like, it's you. It's in your DNA. Literally.
Max
Literally. Exactly.
Lyle
It's literally in your DNA. But you're a smart guy, and so you have the ability to consciously recognize that and then make, like, conscious decisions to be less like that. You know?
Max
Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. I'm actually glad I have therapy tomorrow. It's actually my first session, actually, which is kind of dope. So I'm cool. I'm happy about that. But. Yeah, dude, it's just like. I also, like, realized you and all those people out there that worked it like 9 to 5. I don't know how the you guys do it. That sucks. It's like the same over and over again. And it's like, the repetitiveness gets to you, and it's like. But for me, it's like I feel like a robot, man. I gotta feel like I don't feel anything. I feel everything until I get back home. And it's the same fucking cycle like every other day, every single fucking time. And I hate that shit.
Lyle
You're like. You're. You're. You're like a 19. Like, I don't know, man. Do you know should do something crazy? I don't know. I don't know. I don't. I've. Now, all right, I'm getting. I'm didn't. I'm getting too carried away by telling you to go do something crazy. But I don't know, man. Well, but you like mechanical engineering, right?
Max
Oh, yeah. This is why I'm happy that winter break is ending, because I don't have to fucking be there. And then now I can actually do what I want. What I want to fucking do. I'm gonna look for internships. I'm gonna get really fucked busy so.
Daniel
I don't have to be there.
Max
It's all good from here, but it's just like. Dude, it sucks. It just really does. I just wish I enjoyed being there, but I just. I just don't.
Lyle
I really talk about your dad. You talking about your dad's shop?
Max
Yeah, just him and, like, dealing with people.
Tim Allen
Dude, do you.
Lyle
Do you make. Do you make any money from. Did your dad pay you money or is it like a. You work for the family?
Max
Yeah, he. He pays me. I don't ask him for money, but, I mean, he. He pays me either way. Yeah.
Lyle
Do you need. Do you need the money from his shop?
Max
You know, that's a good question. I guess, in a way.
Lyle
Yes.
Max
In a way. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. That's a good question. Oh, shit.
Lyle
Well, I don't know. I'm not. You know, I. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't know the answer to the question, but it's a good thing to think about.
Max
Yeah. That's a good question. Yeah, that's a good question. But, yeah, it just fucking sucks. And I'm literally not the only one. Like, my brothers went through this shit too, so it's just like, I. I think we all have, like, PTSD from this shit. Yeah. I don't know, dude, but yeah, I mean, I mean, that's. That's basically it. I just, like, I'm kind of glad that I don't have to go to work anymore and, like, I can focus on what I actually want to do. Yeah, man. That's what I got.
Lyle
Well, what's your name again?
Max
Max.
Lyle
Max.
Max
Not, not. Not. Not the other one. Not the other one.
Lyle
I don't even. Max, you ran. You. You. You. You rank. You rank very low on the list of people who. When I hang up the phone from them, I'm a little worried about what's going to happen to them. You rank low. You rank. You rank low on that list. I think you seem. I mean, I don't know. I've only been talking to you for 17 minutes, but I think you seem like you have a good. A good head on your shoulders. So, you know, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not worried about you.
Max
I just. I'm trying to be optimistic about everything, so just. Yeah, just trying to do. Just trying to do my own thing. And also the way I feel guilty leaving, I don't actually know how to feel about that. Like, I feel guilty leaving in a way.
Lyle
Yeah, well, cuz. Yeah, I feel like there's also like, the whole, like, oh, I want to cut off my dad because. Or like, not cut off my dad, but, like, you know, we had the whole thing about, like, oh, well, what can you do? I mean, you can stop, like, doing shit for him, but there's guilt associated with that, obviously. I'm curious what your therapist will say about it tomorrow.
Max
Oh, yeah, I hope so. Yeah. Yeah, I hope so, actually. Yeah. Yeah, I. I hope she said something about it, but. Yeah, and I'm reading the chat too, Mac, that. That girl was fucking, like, 14. At least. There's no way.
Lyle
Hold on. What are you. What? What?
Max
There's no. Dude, she didn't sound like she was 26. Who are you talking.
Lyle
Who are you talking about?
Max
Remember the other Max that went on the other line?
Lyle
Oh, the girl with the snow thing?
Max
Yeah, yeah.
Lyle
Oh, yeah.
Max
That's why I put the real Max, because the other one was. I don't know, man. That's stupid.
Lyle
Okay, well, Max, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go, just.
Max
I hope everyone has a good night and. Yeah, yeah, that's basically it. Thank you for taking my call, man. Appreciate it a lot.
Lyle
Hey, good luck, Max. Take care.
Max
Amen. You too.
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Daniel
Hello. Hey, dude.
Lyle
Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. What's your name?
Daniel
Daniel.
Lyle
Daniel. What's going on, Daniel?
Daniel
Nothing. I bought a $400 chair today.
Lyle
You bought a $400 chair today?
Daniel
Yeah, I did.
Lyle
What kind of chair is it?
Daniel
Oh, dude, it's called, it's a beauty rest chair. So I went to Staples to get like a return and they gave me a coupon and then I walked around and I went to the chair section and $400 chair. And the reason that it's $400 is because it has this world special feature that allows me to work on my lumbar support, so basically extends it and it has this like hydraulic system in the back of the chair. Never ever bought a chair so expensive. And I'm really, really happy that I bought it.
Lyle
I like that. Yeah, I think if you're gonna splurge on some, on some, on some bullshit like that, you should be happy about it because you never want to like buy a $400 chair and then be pissed at yourself for buying a $400 chair.
Daniel
Yeah, you're right. But the thing is for my back, dude, you know, and I sat in it for like maybe 30 minutes and it did the thing, you know, moved my muscles and feels great. I'm sitting in it right now actually.
Lyle
Pretty good. Pretty good. So I guess is your life perfect now that you have this chair?
Daniel
You know, I think my daily basis would is going to be a lot better because a lot of my mental energy goes into how my body's feeling, you know, So I feel like if I have a stronger body, I don't have to worry about that as much. And I can worry about the things that, I don't know other people worry about. There's always stuff to worry about. But I don't want to have to worry about my body. I want that to be fit, you know?
Lyle
Yeah. Well, I mean, your body will eventually decay and be nothing forever, but in this period of time, it is funny. It is really crazy to think about how fragile the human body is. It's so like we're like walking vases, and we pretend like we're invincible, and it's like you're one little tap on the back away from, you know, nothingness forever.
Daniel
Yeah, I know. I took a misstep when I was running maybe like six weeks ago, and I sprained my ankle for the first time. And I used to take. Or I always had pride in my ankles. You know, I used to jump off trees as a kid and stuff and always thought I had pretty sturdy ankles, but first time I ever got a pop in my ankle down there. So I've had to take it a little bit slow in the last couple of weeks and rethink the way that I use my body so.
Lyle
Well, that's nice that you have pride. I've never heard anyone ever say in. In my life that they have pride in their ankles. I know, but I'm. I've never. I've. That's a. It's a strange thing to say, but I like it, and I'm actually going to take it from you, and I'm gonna start. I'm gonna start to have pride in my ankles. Why not? Why not have pride in your ankles? Yeah, they do a lot for you. Have pride in your. In your body. I'm starting to like my body more. I'm starting to like my body. Yeah. I have been talking a whole bunch of about that. I have.
Daniel
But I know you don't want to.
Lyle
Talk a whole bunch of about that. We can talk. I can talk. We can talk about. We can talk about it. We can talk about it. Yeah, I, like, I'm starting to real. I. I think I. At a certain point, I had con. I, like, even at, like, I'm 27, like, when I was, like, 23, I thought I was gonna. I thought I was dead. Like, I felt dead.
Daniel
Yeah.
Lyle
And I was like, all right, I'm dead. I don't need this anymore. So let me just pack it with as much everything and why I did that for the past, forever. And now I'm like, oh, I got to actually. Yeah. You weren't. Wait, what do you mean?
Daniel
You were involved in that one time I pulled up to your L. A show and I gave you a bag of honey. No, no, it was Hawaiian barbecue chips and chitzo hoy, and you gave me those Hawaiian barbecue.
Lyle
I remember those Hawaiian barbecue chips. They were good as. Yeah, I remember those.
Daniel
Yeah, they are good.
Lyle
I don't remember the Chips Ahoy, but yeah, I remember those Hawaiian barbecue chips. I ate. I ate the. Out of those. Those were really good.
Daniel
I'm glad.
Lyle
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's crazy.
Daniel
That was you trying to be better, too.
Lyle
Yeah, but I. I'm kind of. I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I might actually live. I might actually live past the age of 30. And I'm realizing that I got a. Well, here's the thing. I hear I've. I've come to terms with a few things. I'm never gonna be, like, a guy who, like, only eats healthy. It's just too, like, eating delicious, salty, unhealthy food is, I think, just a fundamental part of who I am. I don't think I'm going to change that, But I do what I do. I do think that I can offset it by not doing it every fucking day and by, you know, exercising and generally trying to eat more. I ate for the first. Dude, for the first time in my life yesterday. I was at a restaurant and I ordered a plate of spinach, and I just ate the plate of spinach. It wasn't like. It wasn't like. Because in the. My. My encounters with spinach in the past were like, you know, one leaf on top of a greasy slice of pizza. Something like that. You know what I mean? Those. My encounters with spinach, like. Like, this is. This was my first time hanging out with spinach one on one. You know what I mean? Like, normally spinach is like, six months ago. Normally spinach is like just a part of. Of the group. He's someone I hang out with in a group setting, but this is our first time, you know, testing the waters one on one. And we had. We had a good time. We didn't have a great time, but I. I'm like, you know what? It's a good that I have a relationship with. With this guy. I'm glad to know this person, you know, they could be useful to me in the future. Not in, like, a Machiavellian sense, but you know what I mean?
Daniel
No, 100%. I feel the same way, like, about Beats. I never knew that that guy didn't really mess with him that much. I thought that he stained your clothes a little bit too much. But I learned that, you know, he's a super fruit and eating him gives you a lot, a lot of energy, like instantaneously. So if you're working out, beet juice is a really good thing to have. And I think that if I didn't know that information, I would have been ignorant towards beets in general. So learning about your diet, learning about what the food specifically does for you, that's what's going to help.
Lyle
What do you give a fuck about? Because I think the one of the main cuz like if you don't care about anything, you don't have anything to like live for or care about. You kind of start to just you, you are, you don't care what you put in your body or anything like that. You just really don't care. But if you start to be like, oh, I actually have things that I want to be alive to do. It's. What do you, what are the, what are those for you? What do you, what do you need your back to not suck for you to be able to do so that.
Daniel
I can make other people's backs not suck? You know, you can't.
Lyle
Are you, are you a chiropractor?
Daniel
I wanted to, I thought about that for a while. You know, I'm trying to get, trying to figure out my career and put it into a path that, you know, does help me inherently do something altruistic. So right now I do work as a high school in a Christ cross country or a college and a high school cross country and track and fuel coach. I've been doing that for like a couple years and I really, really do like it because I get to help other people. And that's the thing that you're asking me, like, what's the thing that you know, I really like to do and can I see visual progress and the people around me, you know, I want to maybe do P.T. something like that. Coaching helped me get into, I guess more so the technical aspect of my job.
Lyle
Sure.
Daniel
So helping.
Lyle
Can I, can I, can I, can I say something that you might find insulting? But I'll, I'm going to also give you the space to defend yourself.
Daniel
Okay.
Lyle
Okay. So like, all right, so like across like a track and field coach, right? Like, okay, like, like a football coach, they're like making play like basketball, football. Like they're like making plays and like organizing a team and everything. But like if you're like a Track coach. Do you just, like, yell, run? Like, how much is there to like. Like, there's. I feel like there's not as many variables. You know what I mean? Like, how do you. How do you do that?
Daniel
So, I mean, that's. That's the best part of the job, right, is I get to tell other people to run. You know, if you were to break it down into, you know, simple terms. But, you know, there's various parts of the training that you have to focus on. Their speed training, their threshold training, their interval training, and all those things help them with different things. Like speed. That's your. I would say that's a different car that you would have. Like, you could have a Civic or you could have a Ferrari. You know, different cars go different speeds. Then you have your threshold training, and that's basically how long can you go for. Some cars can do that for longer and sustain that for others. So you have to work on that. And then you have your VO2 max. Your interval training as basically your efficiency. How much oxygen can you output? Or I guess mpg. That's the other way that you could say. So I mean, that's the thing I was talking about. There's that science aspect to it because, you know, there was a time where, you know, I work with some kids that, you know, were shit brains and thought that they knew everything and, you know, expected you to know everything, too and have the answer for everything. And it's either I can tell them I don't, or I can go look for one. So I got pushed into doing the latter option, you know, but, yeah, you're right.
Lyle
Have you ever thought about, like. Like a whip or a rickshaw or something like that that you could, like, you know. Yeah, like a rickshaw. Like, like. All right, today. Today we will be doing exercises where, like. Yeah, where I'm in the back of a rickshaw and you're gonna run and take me to do errands.
Daniel
I mean, there's some coaches out there that will bike with their kids. I do run with mine because I still got the legs for it, so might as well use it while I got it. But rickshaw pulling, like a sled sort of option. I think that would be awesome.
Lyle
Yeah, actually, that would be sick. You might get. There might be human rights violations involved, but it could be right. Could be worth it. Could be worth it.
Daniel
Well, you know, I'm a brown guy, so me and the rickshaw might give me an extra excuse. You know, maybe they'll think that I'm, you Know, on something, doing something, you know.
Lyle
Do you say, do you say you're a brown guy?
Daniel
Yeah, I'm a brown guy.
Lyle
Yeah. Then, you know, take a Take. You know what I. Regardless of, of, of, of your race, I think everyone deserves a rickshaw ride or two in their life.
Daniel
Yeah. You know, on a three wheeler, you know, like, motorized tricycle. No 100% can be cool. It's good to talk to you.
Lyle
Yeah, it's good. It's nice talking to you too, man. It's nice talking to you too. I like this, I like the. I'm happy that you have a chair that you like. I'm happy you bought a thing and you like it. It's really cute.
Daniel
Yeah, dude. There was a time where I didn't have the financial stability. Like, even when I bought one of your sweaters, though, you know, I love this guy too much. I don't have the money for it, but, you know, he deserves.
Lyle
Oh, God.
Daniel
Because you got me through Covid, bro. That was you.
Lyle
I appreciate, I appreciate that. That's my, that's my worst.
Daniel
Was reborn through your show that year. Yeah. And I appreciate it.
Lyle
Really, I appreciate that. That's. Well, that's my worst fears. I don't want people, like, buying my merch or tickets to my show if they can't afford it. That's why I like ads, because ads are like, you know, I, I, I can have money and the people listening to the show don't have to pay any money. And it, it's a good system.
Daniel
It's good. Yeah, I know, because I'm sure that you have a lot of other listeners that, you know, super appreciative of what you do, but just don't have the funds to show you how much they appreciate it, you know?
Lyle
No, no, listen. No, no, no. Listen, listen, listen. Yeah, I don't know. I also, Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Sometimes. Well, every once in a while, like, someone will. I'm not touring this year, but, like, someone I'll like if I get like a DM from someone. And like, yo, I want to go to the show, but I can't afford it. I'll respond and I'll be like, yo, come through. I'll put them on the list or something like that. But, but also, if you're, Listen, also, like the opposite. Say one more time.
Daniel
You said you put them on a list. Is it like a secret show list or like.
Lyle
No, no, no, no. It's like, like that, like, so they can come to the show for free. Also, Also, I just want to. I, I, I just want to say, Eve, the opposite is true, too. So if you're listening to this and you're a multi millionaire and you just want. And you want to give me a lot of money for no reason, I. That would be awesome, too.
Daniel
Yes, that's acceptable.
Lyle
Very acceptable.
Daniel
All right, well, pick up the phone. In 10 years yet.
Lyle
What's your name again, sir?
Daniel
Daniel.
Lyle
Daniel. I'm happy you got you sitting in a chair. You know what, Daniel? Every. I want you every single day, every time you sit down in that chair. Just like when you sit. When you sit in it, just really feel it. Just be like, I love this chair.
Daniel
Yes. It grounds me. Dude, I'm reading a book about grounding, and I think that that really, this is helping me. I have a question.
Lyle
Yeah, what's up?
Daniel
Do you need a trainer?
Lyle
So, I actually do. I re. I don't. I appreciate that. I don't like physical. I don't like pt. I don't like training. Because anything. Well, here's the thing. Anything that's, like, like, in my life in general, I hate rigid structures. Like, I hated fucking, like, all of high school, and I hate, like, organized class and, like, all that shit. And anything that, like, becomes like a, Like a rigid, weird structure where, like, I have to show up for some guy, I mean, I'll just hate it. Yeah, I do a little bit. Yeah, I. Well, go. Go ahead. What's your. What's your. What's your. What's your. What's. What's your regimen?
Daniel
Okay. Well, it's not that my regimen is just changing the daily habits that I'm doing, so that way I can improve my life in a structure way where I feel that I'm improving in 1% increments, and I don't try to enforce on other people, like you said, strict schedules. I want to make small changes in other people's lives or at least show other people things that I've learned on my path that could help other people, because I find benefit in that. And, you know, in terms of, like, you trying to, like, figure out what works for you, that's also what I'm trying to learn, is trying to see what works for other people so that way I can better help them. And I think that's where I'm trying to take my career, is trying to give more personalized help to people that actually, you know, want it, and I'm trying to figure out how to actualize it. I have the question that I need to ask, it's just, I don't know, I mean, I have thoughts in my brain like everyone else of, well, how to formalize it already. But, you know, I'm trying to move in the direction. So I feel like helping you out would help me get a better sense of how to help others.
Lyle
Okay. If you can send me a video of you doing 100 push ups in a row, then I would, I'll consider hiring you as a personal trainer.
Daniel
Okay. Sounds good. All right.
Lyle
What's your name again?
Daniel
Daniel.
Lyle
Daniel. Thanks for talking to me, Daniel. This is a nice. Thanks for letting me rant at you about stuff and thanks for me about stuff and yeah, I enjoyed this. I enjoyed this interaction. Is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
Daniel
Stretch your back, lay down on the ground for like five minutes like a starfish and just breathe and pretend that you're in a pond in a nice emerald forest. Take a deep breath.
Lyle
I like that.
Daniel
Just relax your hips. Relax it all.
Max
Yeah.
Lyle
Thank you very much, Daniel. Enjoy your chair, my friend.
Daniel
Yes, of course. All right. You have a good day.
Lyle
You too, man. Bye bye. That I. Somebody in the chats, Somebody in the twitch chat said, I think this guy is just wants an excuse to touch you. But I don't think that's true. I don't think that's true. I think Daniel seems like a, like a stand up guy even though he's sitting down. That's a stupid too. That was stupid. I'm not, I'm not cutting any of this out of the podcast, but those were. That's stupid. Yeah. I don't know. I don't live. Never liked personal training. I like just setting up my own thing. Because here's the thing is I don't want to hate it. That's the thing. I'm getting like, I, I'm. If I make it like a rigid thing that I have to fucking do. Like, I like creating my own structures and whatnot. And I, I, I don't know, I don't want to hate it. I don't want to hate it. But I don't know, I hope he said, I want, I want to see the video. I hope that he sends me a video of him doing 100 push ups. I would be very impressed by that. If he does, if he sends me a video, if he actually sent me a video of him doing 100 push ups and if he happened to live in the same. If he happened. If this man who I have no idea where he lives, happens to send me a video of him doing 100 push ups and we happen to be exist in the same city. At some point I would do a personal training session with him. I will say that on this podcast on record. We shall see. We shall see. Spirit.
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Therapy Gecko Episode Summary: “WILL I UPSET THE GOVERNMENT WITH MY JEWELRY?”
Release Date: January 22, 2025
Host: Lyle, the Unlicensed Lizard Psychologist
Podcast: Therapy Gecko by iHeartPodcasts
In this episode of Therapy Gecko, host Lyle engages in deep, unscripted conversations with callers seeking unconventional psychological insights. The central theme revolves around personal struggles intertwined with practical concerns, such as balancing mental health with entrepreneurial aspirations and navigating familial expectations. The episode skillfully blends humor with heartfelt dialogue, offering listeners a unique perspective on handling everyday dilemmas.
Timestamp: 02:04 – 16:51
Background:
Daniel reaches out to Lyle seeking an outside perspective on initiating a jewelry business while receiving disability benefits due to mental health conditions, including schizophrenia and PTSD.
Key Discussion Points:
Fear of Losing Benefits:
Daniel expresses paranoia about the government's potential reaction if his business fails, fearing the loss of disability benefits and financial instability for his family.
Daniel: “[...] I just like paranoid that if I do that, you know, the government's gonna tell me that I don't need the disability anymore.” [03:30]
Lyle’s Perspective:
Lyle acknowledges his lack of formal expertise but encourages Daniel to seek professional advice, emphasizing the importance of factual information over fears.
Lyle: “Go talk to a tax attorney or something like that. [...] Just Google it.” [04:39]
Research Findings:
Daniel shares his research, revealing mixed outcomes where some can maintain both their business and benefits, while others lose benefits without clear explanations.
Daniel: “[...] the consensus is a pretty mixed bag where some people will be able to work and receive money both from their own employment and the government and other people are just kind of kicked off without any explanation.” [06:47]
Encouragement to Proceed:
Despite uncertainties, Lyle motivates Daniel to pursue his passion, suggesting that even if his business becomes successful and he outgrows the need for benefits, it would be a positive outcome.
Lyle: “If you make like $8,000 in a year selling jewelry on Etsy, I don't think the government is going to take away your benefits.” [10:14]
Emotional Underpinnings:
Lyle identifies Daniel’s hesitancy as fear-based, relating it to his own struggles with fear-driven decisions, thereby creating a relatable and empathetic dialogue.
Lyle: “You could be paranoid about something and roll it over in your head over and over again, but it's foolish to do that about something like this where you could just look it up or talk to somebody who knows about it.” [05:00]
Daniel’s Personal Stakes:
Daniel reveals the financial dependency on his disability benefits, highlighting his responsibilities towards his partner and child, which amplify his fears of failure.
Daniel: “[...] I live with my partner and our kid and we just bought a house and my partner recently got laid off.” [11:55]
Final Thoughts:
The conversation underscores the delicate balance between pursuing personal ambitions and ensuring financial security, leaving Daniel with a blend of reassurance and the necessity to consult professionals.
Timestamp: 02:04 – 72:52
Background:
Max calls in to discuss his struggle with seeking approval from his father after taking on responsibilities following his father's health crisis. As a second-year university student studying mechanical engineering, Max grapples with academic pressures and the emotional weight of familial expectations.
Key Discussion Points:
Academic and Familial Pressures:
Max recounts a pivotal moment where his father criticized his sole "C" grade, despite overall academic success, leading to feelings of inadequacy and a desire for validation.
Max: “I showed my dad my grades, and there was just that one C. And he looked at that one C and then called me out for it.” [31:26]
Balancing Responsibilities:
Taking over his father’s auto shop while managing college coursework placed immense mental and emotional strain on Max, exacerbating his need for his father's acknowledgment.
Max: “I was juggling like going to work, opening up in the morning, going to classes. And I had to do that for like a month and a half while he was in the hospital.” [33:11]
Lack of Recognition:
Despite his dedication, Max felt unnoticed by his father, intensifying his emotional turmoil and questioning the purpose of his efforts.
Max: “I wanted some sort of validation from him and I just didn't get that.” [37:40]
Self-Reflection and Personal Growth:
Lyle encourages Max to redefine his self-worth independent of paternal approval, advocating for personal pride in his achievements and conscious efforts to cultivate healthier relationships.
Lyle: “If you're not gonna appreciate me, I'm just gonna do my own shit.” [38:11]
Future Aspirations and Coping Mechanisms:
Max shares his upcoming therapy session and aspirations to find internships, indicating proactive steps towards mental well-being and career development.
Max: “I'm actually really happy that I don't have to go back to work. I'm happy about that.” [44:22]
Max: “I'm glad I have therapy tomorrow. It's actually my first session.” [43:31]
Breaking Cycles:
The dialogue touches on breaking negative familial patterns, with Max expressing a desire not to emulate his father's stubbornness and emotional unavailability.
Max: “I just don't want to be around this dude. This dude's a baby about not everything.” [42:26]
Support Systems:
Max emphasizes the importance of external support, acknowledging the role of Therapy Gecko and upcoming therapy in his journey towards healing.
Max: “I just want my dad to acknowledge everything I've gone through.” [37:18]
Closing Remarks:
The conversation concludes with Max sharing a sense of optimism about his future endeavors and the steps he's taking to improve his mental and emotional state.
In this poignant episode of Therapy Gecko, Lyle adeptly navigates complex emotional landscapes presented by callers Daniel and Max. Through candid conversations, the episode highlights the challenges of balancing personal ambitions with societal expectations and familial pressures. Lyle’s empathetic yet humorous approach provides both solace and practical advice, encouraging listeners to seek professional guidance and prioritize their mental well-being. The episode serves as a testament to the power of open dialogue in addressing and overcoming personal struggles.
Daniel on Fear of Losing Benefits:
“...I just like paranoid that if I do that, you know, the government's gonna tell me that I don't need the disability anymore.” [03:30]
Lyle Encouraging Action Over Fear:
“Just do it. Because if you want to, you should do it. You're gonna fucking die and be nothing forever. So just do it.” [09:07]
Max on Seeking Validation:
“I didn't get anything from that dude.” [37:40]
Lyle on Breaking Negative Patterns:
“If you're not gonna appreciate me, I'm just gonna do my own shit.” [38:11]
Max on Personal Growth:
“I don't want to be like this fucking dude.” [42:26]
Note: This summary excludes all advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections to focus solely on the meaningful dialogue between Lyle and the callers, ensuring clarity and relevance for readers unfamiliar with the episode.