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James Austin Johnson
Wondery subscribers can listen to every episode of Tis the Grinch Holiday podcast ad free. Join Wondery to get exclusive Christmas mystery bonus content. Start your free trial in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Hey there listeners. It's your bah humbug, bro. The Grinch. The man who's green, who's usually mean but has had to dial it back a bit. As one of America's preeminent podcast hosts, I'm just going to pop in the dressing room of today's guest, Renee Elise Goldsberry. Ah, hey, Renee. Welcome.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
You scared me. Hi.
James Austin Johnson
Sorry. Yeah, the light in here isn't great. Sorry about that. Well, welcome to the show. Thanks for being here.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
I am such a big fan. I'm so excited to be on your show.
James Austin Johnson
Okay. Yeah, that's a good energy. You're going to want to save that. Before the show, I like to ask all my guests to join me in some meditative vocal warmup exercises.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Sure.
James Austin Johnson
Okay, just repeat after me. Ooh gacha ka ooga chaka ooga chaka.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Oogacha ooga chaka oogachaka Ooh ga chaka.
James Austin Johnson
Shamalama Ding dong shyamalama Ding dong shyamalama Ding dong shamala and ding dong shyamalama.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Ding dong shyamalama Ding dong shyamalama ding dong.
James Austin Johnson
Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper sing like angels in a Star Is Born.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper sing like angels in a Star is Born. That's a tongue twister.
James Austin Johnson
In a shallow la la in the shallow la la la la doesn't it sound great? It a shallow la la la. We're sitting in a grocery store parking lot in northeast la. Okay, here's the last one. Christmas is a crooked cacophony of cringe worthy corporate corniness.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
I'm gonna skip that one.
Anthony Atamanick
From Wondery. And Dr. Seuss. Coming to you directly from Mount Crumpet Studios, where you can physically look down on the town of who just like the Grinch does, metaphorically. Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. This week's special guest, she slayed in Hamilton, though not as much as Aaron Burr from Girls 5. Eva, Renee Elise Goldsberry, and from Saturday Night Live, the hilarious Heidi Gardner. Plus, she reported his crime and now she's doing time as his kid producer. It's Cindy Lou who. And he waits until just, just before showtime to put his antlers on. It's Max the Reindeer. I mean dog. But now he's the color of a chunk of phlegm, but slightly more charming. Here he is. You're a host.
James Austin Johnson
It's the Grinch. Boy, that announcer likes to talk a lot, doesn't he? Well, so do I. That's why I'm here casting my pod to you. Did the kids say that, Cindy? Casting my pod?
Anjuli Kunupadini
They do not.
James Austin Johnson
Well, they should. Anyway. Hey there, kiddos. Parental units and whoever else happens to be in the car. Grinch in the. His mouse. And it's the holiday season, which means I got a reason to talk about something I find horrible, deplorable, utterly unignorable, fit to be served only to a mouse. I'm talking about the lousy, inedible gingerbread house.
Anthony Atamanick
Hold on to your seat. Keep on your pants. The Grinch is going on one of his rants.
James Austin Johnson
Look, there are a lot of things to deeply dislike about these glittering, glowing, grotesquely garish, horrendously horrid holidays. But way, way up there is the gingerbread house. Ugh. It's a dessert that you basically need to hire a general contractor to build. I mean, what kid wants to deal with these things? Oh, yeah, that's loads of fun. Hey, Timmy, Tommy, Terry, Suzy, Sherry, Steve, Seth. You kids want to take on a construction project based on a holiday tradition that dates back to the 17th century Germany? One that requires an architectural degree from RISD to finish? I mean, this is supposed to be a fun activity for the kids. Are you kidding me? Building a gingerbread house is a nightmare. You try getting load bearing walls to stand in place with frosting as your adhesive. And the attention to detail on these things. The poor kids, their parents looking over their shoulders, making sure they follow the instructions. Nice job, Chlo. But have you thought about where the H VAC system will go? Have you dug a trench for the sump pump yet? Don't forget to make a functioning air duct system using chocolate straws. Really fun. And here's the best part. You get to eat it when you're done. Whoopee. I mean, you get to try to eat it, but good luck with that. Unless you have the teeth of a great white shark. Because the second you're done and your local zoning board has weighed in, this gingerbread house will be about as appetizing as a real house. Hard pass for me.
Anjuli Kunupadini
You know, I actually think building a gingerbread house is a fun holiday family tradition.
James Austin Johnson
Oh, you do? Sunday. What other holiday traditions did you find fun as a child? Filing their family taxes early pre Christmas chimney cleanings. Nice childhood. Anyway, you got Grinched. Now my heart might be two or three sizes too small. But my ego grew a size or two when I learned that I, the Grinch, have received listener voicemails from fans of the show. Can you believe it? Oh, man. To think that people actually want to connect with me, a guy who lives alone in a dank hole atop an ominous mountain. Oh, boy, it really hits ya. Nope, not gonna have one of my signature cardiac enlargement episodes over this. Down hard. Down, down, I beseech you. Down hard. Button down the hatches. Ah, sorry. I went Braveheart mode there for a second. It helps. Okay, deep breaths. Try to enjoy it, Grinchy. Just enjoy it. Life's a ride. Okay. Woo hoo. Fan messages. Up until now, the only messages I've ever received were from Whoville Gas and Electric telling me they're gonna shut the power off if I don't pay up. And Max's vet informing me that he's three years overdue for his fleeing pick. Guard. We'll schedule something soon, Max. All right, look, I'm penciling it in. Tap, tap, tap, tap. T. He's fine. All right, now let's dig into a couple of these fan mail messages.
Anthony Atamanick
Sometimes the show can feel like jail. Let's cheer up the Grinch with listener mail. Listen.
James Austin Johnson
ER mail. Okay, now these fans of mine took the time to either call in or leave us a message. I can't believe it. Really? So flattered. But then again, I'm kind of a legend. Let's listen to one now.
Unknown
Hi, Mr. Grinch, my name is Dennis Hoonigan. I just found this podcast.
James Austin Johnson
Wow.
Unknown
I guess everyone has their home podcast now.
James Austin Johnson
Never met a dentist I liked.
Unknown
I'm calling in with a suggestion. It has to do the top of the show. When you pop in on your guests in the green room, maybe you should give them a heads up that you're doing that, because then maybe they won't be so startled. It's just thought. Okay, bye.
James Austin Johnson
First of all, Dennis Hornigan. I like startling people as they try to get ready for an interview in a dark room carved out of a mountain. You should see the looks on their faces when I come barreling in and they're in the middle of trying to eat the complimentary charcuterie plate I stole from the Hilton Hotel lobby. Thanks for the suggestion, Dennis, but no thanks. Next caller.
Unknown
Hi, Mr. Grinch. My name is Anna Hooley, and I'm very interested in science and medicine, and even though I'm only 13, I am actually going to be doing an internship at a museum this summer.
James Austin Johnson
Good for her. What a lovely young woman.
Unknown
And I am wondering if you would be interested in participating in a scientific social study for the Museum of Curious Creatures and Genetic Anomalies.
James Austin Johnson
What a vile little demon girl. Cindy Lou, did anyone screen these calls?
Anjuli Kunupadini
Oh, I did. I thought that sounded like a good opportunity for you.
James Austin Johnson
This next one better be good.
Unknown
Hey, Mr. Grinch, my name is Joe Borkinho and I just want to tell you you are a talented, witty, gifted interviewer and showman. This is a great show.
James Austin Johnson
I love this guy.
Unknown
On Opposite Day.
James Austin Johnson
I got you.
Unknown
So you see what I said?
James Austin Johnson
This is awful.
Unknown
Opposite of.
James Austin Johnson
I hate when you get these insulting people.
Unknown
Opposite Day.
James Austin Johnson
Let's prank calls. I mean, what kind of psycho makes prank calls?
Unknown
Gotcha. I win.
James Austin Johnson
Okay, goodbye.
Unknown
I win.
James Austin Johnson
Yeah, yeah, I get it. Okay, Cindy, we're gonna have an emergency meeting after the segment to talk about screening calls a little bit more carefully. You're a monster, Mr. Grinch. Your heart's an empty hole. Your brain is full of spiders. You got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch. I wouldn't touch you with a 39 and a half foot pole. My guest tonight has a Grammy, a Tony, and a. A Soap Opera Digest Award. But perhaps she's best known for having pipes. That's right. My girl can sing. You've heard her hit the high notes on Broadway as Angelica, Angelica in Hamilton, and on Netflix as Wiki Roy in the hilarious comedy Girls 5Ever. She also has three names, which is too, too many if you ask me. Okay, just keep it simple. Grinch. People remember it. I mean, who does she think she is, Lou Diamond Phillips? Anyway, please welcome the lovely and talented Renee Elise. Go Goldsberry. Hi.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Hi.
James Austin Johnson
Oh, my gosh. How you doing?
Renee Elise Goldsberry
I'm so good. Happy holidays.
James Austin Johnson
Oh, that's a little. Okay, you're a little loud. You can pipe down. All right, let's talk about Hamilton. Even though I'm more of an Aaron Burr guy myself. Okay. I mean, what did he ever do that was so bad? All right? Shoot a guy in a duel? Steal Christmas? I mean, must we all be judged by our worst day, Renee?
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Well, you know what he did? He waited for it. That's what it is. He waited for it.
James Austin Johnson
I'm willing to ignore it.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
He should have jumped in. He was calculating and smooth in a world that demanded action.
James Austin Johnson
Right, right.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Even in the holiday season. I think we can just think about the power of action and the celebration of people that are not afraid.
James Austin Johnson
Yes, yes. And that's, of course, why Alexander Hamilton was our greatest president.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Well, I don't think he became President?
James Austin Johnson
Oh, well, I'm not a citizen, so I wouldn't know.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
I think the song goes, never gonna be president now, now. But we owe him a big, huge thank you. And I know I do. Renee Elise Golds, for getting to play Angelica Schuyler in Hamilton.
James Austin Johnson
Uh huh. You know, I never really got too far in the Broadway auditioning process. I mean, it's an instrument that you gotta take care of and I have not taken care of my instrument. I've eaten a lot of hot sandwiches in dry rooms, if you know what I'm talking about. With pipes like yours, I'm sure you get roped into singing Christmas carols all the time.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
I love it.
James Austin Johnson
I'm sure you do.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
I can't wait. It's a holy, holy high holiday. I'm. I'm so excited. Always. I mean, even this moment, talking to you. Chex, watch my children's favorite thing. Taps fingers Favorite movies of this season are yours, do you know that?
James Austin Johnson
Chex, watch again. That's all great. Ribbons, bows, Christmas trees, candy canes. We get it.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Some of my favorite things.
James Austin Johnson
Tell me, Renee, there's gotta be one thing, one thing about the holidays that makes you feel a little bit grinchy.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Yes, it is. The fact that now I'm the person that has to clean the kitchen. Can I just tell you how much we take for granted when we're younger? I mean, literally, you just wake up and there's presents and magic and food and then it just gets cleaned up and then there's just more food. It just keeps appearing. And then you open all the presents and. And it's just all of the wrapping just disappears. It's just magic. And then you become a mom.
James Austin Johnson
Ugh.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Do you ever feel that way?
James Austin Johnson
I see where you're coming from. Because all of the love, all of the appreciation gets lavished on this Santa guy. Oh, I'm so happy that this stranger invaded my home and rearranged our living room. You know, I'm just getting really sick of this, dude. The moms do everything. And then Santa comes through and sweeps up all the appreciation.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
It's a partnership. And let's just think about it. All Santa wants is a bite of a cookie. Soft bite of a cookie.
James Austin Johnson
That's not all he wants.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
And belief the bar is low.
James Austin Johnson
That's not all he wants. Have you heard of give a mouse a cookie?
Renee Elise Goldsberry
I have.
James Austin Johnson
You give Santa a cookie and he's gonna want some milk, and then he's gonna want some bourbon, and then he's gonna just like start poking around in the fridge. Oh, is anybody gonna eat this? Hungry Man. Can I throw it in the microwave? Okay. Lay Manuel Miranda. He seems like. I mean, seriously, what is his deal? You ever want to just tell him to cool it with the earnestness? All the time. Okay.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
I don't ever want him to cool anything. He's hot. He is Midas touch.
James Austin Johnson
I don't know. I just. I don't know that I have it in me to freestyle so much. I mean, this guy, it's like him and Daveed Diggs are just freestyling. And it's like, finish your lunch and go back to work. Right?
Renee Elise Goldsberry
No, no, no, no. Let me tell you, there is nothing better than listening to freestyle Love supreme rap about anything. Can you imagine?
James Austin Johnson
Well, I am the Grinch and it's a cinch. And keep your tushy away. Cause it's gonna get pinched and I'm out of steam. I can't do it anymore.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
So you gotta respect the gift.
James Austin Johnson
Right? I wouldn't be able to hang.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
I just remembered an opportunity to promote myself that I'm very excited about.
James Austin Johnson
Oh, by all means.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
I have a movie coming out this holiday season.
James Austin Johnson
Oh, really?
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Yeah. It just came out in November.
James Austin Johnson
Okay.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
It's called Albany Road.
James Austin Johnson
Albany Road. Hey, you're looking for something fun to do with the kids. You need something to watch with the family this holiday, so. Well, why don't you check out Albany Road, Renee? Tell us about it.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Yeah, check out Albany Road.
James Austin Johnson
Is that in Pasadena? Where is that? Is that in Phoenix?
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Albany Road is a place in our heart. You know, I think you would like it.
James Austin Johnson
Yeah.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Because there's not a whole lot of holiday, holiday, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. But it is at the end of the day, about that season and family and survive in a storm and moving on. It is so good. And I'm so excited that you gave me this opportunity to talk about it. We were talking about Christmas and me being a mom and how little opportunity I get to think about myself. And then look what you gave me. That is what you give to this season. The reminder that it's okay to think about ourselves.
James Austin Johnson
Oh, my gosh.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
That it's okay to be human, to be real, to be disappointed.
James Austin Johnson
Sometimes it's okay to just make it about yourself. What a wonderful thought. To just push away all of those people you're supposed to love that are demanding all of your time, me time. All the noise, noise, noise. And just me time. Just go in another room and lock the door. Yes.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Amen.
Heidi Gardner
Amen.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
That's all I want For Christmas, sometimes.
James Austin Johnson
Drink some Red Bull and just watch Lord of the Rings extended version all the way through with the commentary. Gah.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
What a season. What a season. It's amazing.
James Austin Johnson
Ah. My heart. My heart is growing relay. Slap my back and clean my shoulder blade. Just do it. Ah. Ah. Okay.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Are you okay?
James Austin Johnson
I have, like, a cardiac thing where my heart's two sizes too small, and if some of my rib cage is kind of, you know, takes over, sort of consolidated.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Yes.
James Austin Johnson
Based on the size of my organs. And sometimes my heart grows.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
That's why we have to stay close.
James Austin Johnson
No, that's why you gotta push everybody away.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Because you know what? It's dangerous to be living in a cave by yourself. Somebody needs to be here. Slap your back every once in a while.
James Austin Johnson
Here's the thing.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
I'm just grateful that it's me.
James Austin Johnson
I'm grateful you are here. But I would not have had a Heartswell moment if there was not a person here trying to make me empathize and make me feel grand. Okay.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Oh, come on. You're a dog parent.
James Austin Johnson
I have a sphere of misery.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
You're a dog parent. Your heart has to be swelling all the time.
James Austin Johnson
No, no, the whole dog parent thing. I mean, I'm gonna be good dog. All right? This is a guy who eats my peanut butter, who doesn't shut cabinet doors. This is a guy who doesn't flush, frankly. And that's starting to get a little annoying after a couple decades together.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
You know what? I was wondering what the smell was in here. Thank you for making that clear.
James Austin Johnson
Thank you so much for coming through, Renee Elise Goldberry.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Thanks for having me. And you know what? Happy holidays.
James Austin Johnson
Okay.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Happy holidays. All right, let's go out singing a little. Come on, let's send the people away with a little bit, you know?
James Austin Johnson
All right.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
We wish you a merry Christmas we.
James Austin Johnson
Wish you a merry Christmas Merry Christmas.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Happy New Year maybe just a holiday song.
James Austin Johnson
Here we come a wassailing Deck the.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Halls with boughs of holly for the cave While we decorate it after the show Duck the halls with boughs of.
James Austin Johnson
Holly have fun in here. I'm gonna go.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Tis the season to hang out in the bathroom.
James Austin Johnson
Thanks, Renee. Oh, boy. Nothing I love more than an awkward goodbye. Well, that's not true. What I love most is never saying hello in the first place. Okay, did she take the hint in? Scram. Perfect. My next guest is a true gem. She's the pride of Kansas City, More so than the Chiefs and Eric Stonestreet. Each week she kills it as a Cast member on snl. Oh, and before she hit it big, she was a hairstylist. Huh. So I'm hoping to get some free blonde highlights out of this. Please welcome the hilarious Heidi Gardner. How you doing?
Heidi Gardner
I'm good. Hi, Grinch.
James Austin Johnson
You know what? I am just such a big fan of yours. Snl, Saturday Night Locusts. Man, that one is so good. The way those guys rub their legs together and they make that beautiful sound.
Heidi Gardner
It's Saturday Night Live. It's like sketch comedy. It's not a locust.
James Austin Johnson
Oh, wow. I guess I just sort of. What channel's that on? Is that mtv?
Heidi Gardner
It's NBC.
James Austin Johnson
NBC?
Heidi Gardner
What channel is Saturday Night Locusts on?
James Austin Johnson
Oh, that one's just sort of crack a window during the summer, and you're right there. Oh, I like your sweater. You have, like, a colorful sweater on today.
Heidi Gardner
It is colorful. It's like a horse girl sweater. It's like a horse championship equestrian sweater girl.
James Austin Johnson
Or is it horse girl? You are so horse girl coded. Well, we pull no punches on Tiz the Grinch Holiday podcast, so I want to give you the opportunity to go in on any of your SNL coworkers, feel free to spill the tea. Who's got the messiest office? Who's ordering the smelliest foods?
Heidi Gardner
Well, okay, I'll say messiest dressing room. And I've tried to fix this problem by hanging up Christmas lights. Grinch. But Mikey Day, his dressing room is messy.
James Austin Johnson
Mikey Day.
Heidi Gardner
And I'm trying to help him.
James Austin Johnson
I mean, who does he think he's fooling with this cake show? I mean, who wants to eat a boot?
Heidi Gardner
Yeah.
James Austin Johnson
Now do. Guests, hosts. Okay, what's Timmy Chalamet like?
Heidi Gardner
I feel like he's like everyone's little brother. Like, he's just got that vibe of kind of like, what's going on today? What are we gonna get up to?
James Austin Johnson
Oh, hey, I'm Tammy the Chalamet, Right?
Heidi Gardner
Yeah.
James Austin Johnson
That kind of guy.
Heidi Gardner
Yeah. But then at the same time, he's such a good actor.
James Austin Johnson
He could be the new Hanks, but he's too pretty. He's just too hot. I gotta ask, Heidi. What does Ryan Gosling smell like?
Heidi Gardner
Ooh, he smells kinda like fresh grass and tobacco.
James Austin Johnson
Oh, my gosh. Talk about boy smells.
Heidi Gardner
Yeah, that is a boy smell.
James Austin Johnson
Fresh and dirty. It's almost giving me, like, mom's new boyfriend kind of thing. Like, I'm in the garage and I did one chore.
Heidi Gardner
I mean, the only difference is. And not knocking my mom's ex boyfriends, But, I mean, none of My mom's ex boyfriend smelled like him. Or looked like him.
James Austin Johnson
Oh, that's too bad. Switching gears, you have three cats. That tracks. Yeah, that tracks with the horse girl sweater. I find having a pet to be a huge pain in the butt. Except for the personal servitude part of the relationship. Max, fetch me my reading glasses. So let me see if I got these names correct. There's Cubby Bear. Is that right? Yes, Marshall. And Tweaky. So you're into animal cruelty. Tell me about that.
Heidi Gardner
How am I the animal cruelty? The names, the names.
James Austin Johnson
These are punishments. Might as well. No, these are shackles.
Heidi Gardner
And there's one more. There's a new guy. John Ross Jr. John Ross Jr.
James Austin Johnson
So you have a cat with a full adult man's name?
Heidi Gardner
Yes. Cubby Bear is named after Cubby Bear from the Disney animated show, the Gummy Bears. Marshall. Obviously named after Marshall Mathers. Of course, Tweaky can't, like, just stop and be still, so she's tweaky. And John Ross Jr. Is the son of J.R. from the popular old TV show Dallas. I think all their names are appropriate.
James Austin Johnson
And Marshall Mathers. You want to hear my Eminem impression?
Heidi Gardner
Yes.
James Austin Johnson
Mom's spaghetti. I'm eating Mom's spaghetti. I'm not ready for this rap battle because I haven't eaten enough spaghetti. Does that sound like him?
Heidi Gardner
Yeah, it does.
James Austin Johnson
Now, I heard you say something very disturbing on a podcast recently. Yeah, I listen to podcasts. I get on the treadmill, I throw on a podcast. I don't like to be around people, but I like to have them squawking in my ear on an episode of Las Culturistas, which I clicked on completely by accident, but I listened to the whole thing. And you referred to yourself as a Christmas girl. Ugh. And I was starting to like you. Why?
Heidi Gardner
Oh, my gosh. Because Christmas is magical and special, and it's fun to give gifts, and it's fun to receive gifts and Christmas lights and all the decorations. Oh, my God. I almost got so excited, I fell off my chair.
James Austin Johnson
Oh, well, that's just not a good chair. I should have gotten you the good chair. Max, why did we get her the good chair? But there's gotta be something about the holidays you don't like, right? I mean, there's gotta be something. I mean, what's the one thing about the holidays that makes you the most grinchy? There's no other word for it. What makes you grinchy? How about Santa?
Heidi Gardner
What?
James Austin Johnson
I'm gonna tell you something. He doesn't smell good. All right.
Heidi Gardner
I bet he smells like his reindeer and like he's been riding around all night in a sleigh. I don't want to talk to the man. I just like what he delivers presents.
James Austin Johnson
Hold on. You don't want to meet him? No. And. And. And you don't want to talk to him either?
Heidi Gardner
No.
James Austin Johnson
Oh, you're so grinchy, and you don't even know it. You don't know you're grinchy. Get down. Down, boy. Down, down. Back to normal. I hate that feeling. Ah, Heidi, you made my heart swell.
Heidi Gardner
Oh, I like doing that.
James Austin Johnson
Just hearing someone who shares my. This feeling that I have where I just don't want to be around them and don't want to interact with him. I just. It really gets me.
Heidi Gardner
I love that. I got you.
James Austin Johnson
You just get me.
Heidi Gardner
I do get you. I see you.
James Austin Johnson
It's where your love of Christmas and my hatred of it. It's where they meet and it's where they converge. It's a convergence. That's what it is. It's a convergence. Now, last question. Let's talk about KC bbq. You have one of those paper plates, and it's divided into three sections. I don't care what it is. Maybe it's gladwear or it's chinet or something. But for me, put together your dream KC barbecue dinner plate. Come on. Okay.
Heidi Gardner
It's the burnt ends from LC's. It's the Z Man sandwich from Kansas City Joe's, which is a bun, brisket, barbecue sauce, provolone cheese, and an onion ring. And then it's also from LC's. The fries, really well seasoned, man.
James Austin Johnson
The door dash. People in Kansas City must just, like, hate you, man.
Heidi Gardner
They must wreak a barbecue. I was on a flight recently, and a woman brought a hole from Kansas City to New York, and she had a hole carton full of barbecue next to me.
James Austin Johnson
Don't bring it on the plane, girl.
Heidi Gardner
One of the worst smells I've ever experienced on a plane ride. But I wasn't gonna say anything. I'm from kc. I get it.
James Austin Johnson
I had some of those burnt ends one time. They should call those burp ends, because I was burping the burnts for, like, three weeks.
Heidi Gardner
Heck, yeah. Burping the burnt.
James Austin Johnson
What do they put in that stuff?
Heidi Gardner
Ends.
James Austin Johnson
Oh. Oh, I guess I could have put that together myself. You're from KC and you're a huge Chiefs fan.
Heidi Gardner
Yes.
James Austin Johnson
Well, it must have been fun for you when Travis Kelce hosted, though. I'm more of an Isaiah Pacheco guy myself. If Pacheco came on the show, I would lose my bleep. I would literally lose my bleep. Is that how you felt around Trav?
Heidi Gardner
Yes, I lost my bleep around Trav. I was like perpetual little sister vibes. I wanted to know everything about what he eats on game day, how much sleep he gets the night before. Does he take a shower at the half?
James Austin Johnson
You think they do that?
Heidi Gardner
I actually heard this from Julian Edelman that some guys do, but he said he would never want to get out of uniform. But some guys do.
James Austin Johnson
Yeah, it's, like, a lot of stuff to leave on.
Heidi Gardner
I put on a uniform. I went to Arrowhead and did a day as Patrick Mahomes, and I tried on the uniform. It's tight.
James Austin Johnson
You did a day as Patrick Mahomes?
Heidi Gardner
Yeah. I ate what he ate. He eats, like, two dinners a day.
James Austin Johnson
I mean, I eat multiple meals in.
Heidi Gardner
A day, and he eats, like, 12 eggs.
James Austin Johnson
I would not want to be on a plane with somebody who'd eaten 12 eggs and sausage. 12 eggs and sausage? He works for a football team, not a fart factory.
Heidi Gardner
Don't meet your heroes.
James Austin Johnson
Don't meet your hero.
Heidi Gardner
But I met you today, Grant.
James Austin Johnson
I got to meet you. Thanks for coming to the Cave.
Heidi Gardner
Thanks for having me.
James Austin Johnson
So, thanks, Heights.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
Hoo.
James Austin Johnson
Boy, the guest monkeys on this show are really testing my acting skills. Sydney, do you think she could tell I was totally bored?
Anjuli Kunupadini
Oh, Mr. Grinch, she was a delight.
James Austin Johnson
You're right. We love our guests. I don't know what gets into me sometimes. Aside from all the moths and bat poop. What? I sleep with my mouth open. So what? Anyway, let's move on to something actually interesting.
Renee Elise Goldsberry
This is a prepaid call from the.
James Austin Johnson
Whoville Penitentiary From Wondery and my beautiful but twisted Mind. This is cereal spelled with a C, like the breakfast food. The story of Whoville's missing letters to Santa told week by week while I eat my Thorn Flakes. Ow. Nice cornflakes. Ow. Okay, today's investigation is taking us out of the studio and on the road. Hit life as a highway. Max, Life is what? What's that? They can't afford to play the song. You're lost. I'm here in the car with Max. Say hello, Max. We're on an investigative mission to find out who in Whoville has stolen all the children's letters to Santa. We know the letters never made it to the North Pole, which means their departure must have been cut short right here in Whoville. And only One person has the power to do that. Our main suspect, the mailman. Now, originally I thought tailing the suspect meant Max got to forcefully wag his tail in the mailman's face, smacking him around a little bit until he admitted his crime. But I was shockingly wrong. What it does mean is that we'll be following the mailman at a close, close distance in ultimate stealth mode. What is it, maxi boy? You want to stick your head out the window? We're supposed to be keeping a low profile. Wear grizzled gumshoes, scoping out a scene. Not teens popping our heads out of the limo on our way to prom. Fine, have it your way. You know what? That looks fun. Now I gotta try. Wow, this is exhilarating. This is the life. I feel so free. A bird just flew into my face. Gross. Watch where you're flying, bird. If I wanted you in my mouth, I would have plucked, preened, fileted and fried you first. Wait a second. There on Chestnut Lane, next to those despicable children whizzing down the courtyard on sleds. It's him. The mailman. Look at him, Maxie. In his blue short sleeved collared shirt leather satchel. Yuck. And he's wearing those horrible festive elf shoes that jingle jangle when you walk. Tacky. Of course you'd like those. I bet you'd like those offensively short shorts he's wearing too. It's the dead of winner, pal. Nobody wants to see your calves move over you park like my nana. Does your nana not have a license either? She sounds like a menace. What was that? Max, he saw us. You're right. Wait. He's running away. Get out of the cart. We gotta beg this letter stealing lunatic. Jeez, old pumpkin calves can really fly. How is that possible? He can't deliver my mail on time, but he sure can run like the wind. Watch it, kid. Your sled nearly took me out. You're right, Max. There's more where that came from, Laxor. The whole infantry of sled heads are coming right at us. Bob and wave, Maxie. Bob and wave. There should be a speed limit on these things. Zero miles per hour. Clip my ankle. You gotta do the cha cha slide to dodge these things. We made it. Good thing old Grinchy is quick on his feet. Now where is this guy? Gotta bag this mail snatching letter jockey and save Christmas. I mean save me and my reputation. Yuck. This is why I don't run. Endorphins bring out the worst in me. Wait. Shh. Hear that, Maxie? Elf shoes. There. Get him, Max. Looks like his festive fashion statement will be his downfall. Wow, I really am out of shape. Max, slow it down. You're making me look bad. Yeesh, the weather's really starting to pick up. I can't see anything. Max. Max, I can't see you. I can't see anything. Oh, no. Max.
Heidi Gardner
Max.
James Austin Johnson
You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch. You're a nasty plasti skunk. Your heart is full of unwashed socks. Your soul is full of gunk.
Anthony Atamanick
Mr. Grinch.
James Austin Johnson
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote, stink, stank, stunk. If you like Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. You can listen ad free and unlock even more Christmas mystery bonus content by listening on plus. Join Wondery plus in the Wondery app, Spotify or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey@wondery.com survey.
Anjuli Kunupadini
Tis the Grinch holiday Podcast is a production of Wondery and Dr. Seuss Enterprises, starring James Austin Johnson as the Grinch with Anjuli Kunupadini as Cindy Lou who? And Anthony Atamanick as the announcer. Featuring voice acting by Dan Cronin and Jamie Cooper. Ancillary voices generated using 11 labs. This episode was written by Dan Cronin and Joe Redlingshafer. Our sound designer is Kelly Kremeric with additional sound design by Jamie Cooper. Music supervision by Scott Velasquez for Frizz on Sync. Senior producers are Adam Azeroff and Jennifer Klein Walker. Our coordinating producers are Sierra Franco and Mariah Gossett. Sarah Mathis is our managing producer and Callum Plews is our senior managing producer. Audio assembly by Daniel Gonzalez. Carlos Hernandez is our audio engineer and Adrian Tapia is our studio manager. Additional engineering by Wolf Robinson. Executive produced by Susan Brandt for Dr. Seuss Enterprises. Executive producers are Lauren D, Dave Easton, Andrew Goldstein and Marshall Louie. For Wondery.
'Tis The Grinch Holiday Podcast: Episode 4 Summary - “Blowing The Roof Off Gingerbread Houses! with Renée Elise Goldsberry and Heidi Gardner”
In the festive fourth episode of 'Tis The Grinch Holiday Podcast, hosted by James Austin Johnson as the iconic Grinch, listeners are treated to a blend of humor, celebrity insights, and holiday-themed mystery. This episode, titled “Blowing The Roof Off Gingerbread Houses! with Renée Elise Goldsberry and Heidi Gardner,” features special guests Renée Elise Goldsberry and Heidi Gardner, bringing star power and laughter to Whoville’s holiday antics.
The episode kicks off with the Grinch preparing his guest, Renée Elise Goldsberry, for the show through a series of quirky vocal warm-up exercises. [00:58] Johnson humorously leads Renée through tongue-twisters like:
James Austin Johnson: "Shamalama Ding dong shyamalama Ding dong shyamalama Ding dong shamala and ding dong shyamalama."
Renée Elise Goldsberry: "Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper sing like angels in a Star Is Born. That's a tongue twister." [01:17]
This playful exchange sets a lighthearted tone, showcasing the Grinch’s unique hosting style.
Renée shares her experiences starring in the acclaimed Broadway musical 'Hamilton', highlighting her role as Angelica Schuyler. The Grinch segues into a humorous discussion about historical figures, making lighthearted jabs at Alexander Hamilton’s legacy:
Grinch: "In a shallow la la la. We're sitting in a grocery store parking lot in northeast LA." [01:21]
Renée Elise Goldsberry: "He should have jumped in. He was calculating and smooth in a world that demanded action." **[10:24]
Renée emphasizes the importance of action over calculation, especially during the holiday season, reflecting on her transition into motherhood and the increased responsibilities it brings:
Renée Elise Goldsberry: "Now I'm the person that has to clean the kitchen. Do you ever feel that way?" **[11:56]
The Grinch empathizes, humorously lamenting the overwhelming nature of holiday traditions like building gingerbread houses—his least favorite holiday activity.
Amid the banter, Renée takes a moment to promote her upcoming movie, 'Albany Road', sharing its heartfelt themes about family and personal growth during challenging times:
Renée Elise Goldsberry: "It's about that season and family and survive in a storm and moving on. It is so good." **[14:21]
This segment highlights Renée’s multifaceted talent and her ability to balance professional achievements with personal insights.
The Grinch entertains listeners with voicemails, ranging from genuine suggestions to playful prank calls. Notably, Dennis Hoonigan offers feedback on the show’s format:
Dennis Hoonigan: "When you pop in on your guests in the green room, maybe you should give them a heads up." **[07:07]
The Grinch responds with his characteristic sarcasm, reinforcing the show’s humorous atmosphere. Another standout moment involves Joe Borkinho’s Opposite Day prank:
Joe Borkinho: "You are a talented, witty, gifted interviewer and showman. This is a great show. On Opposite Day." [08:14]
Grinch: "I hate when you get these insulting people." [08:32]
These interactions demonstrate the Grinch’s ability to handle various listener inputs with wit and charm.
The second half of the episode features comedian Heidi Gardner from Saturday Night Live (SNL). The Grinch and Heidi engage in a playful conversation about her time on SNL, her colorful personality, and her love for Christmas.
Heidi shares amusing anecdotes about her messy dressing room and her efforts to organize it with Christmas lights:
Heidi Gardner: "It's Saturday Night Live. It's like sketch comedy. It's not a locust." [18:32]
She also introduces her pets, three cats with unique names inspired by pop culture:
Heidi Gardner: "Cubby Bear is named after Cubby Bear from the Disney animated show, the Gummy Bears. Marshall, obviously named after Marshall Mathers. Tweaky can't stop being tweaky." **[21:14]
The Grinch humorously teases Heidi about her pets, highlighting the playful dynamic between host and guest.
Heidi delves into her passion for Kansas City BBQ, detailing her favorite dishes and the overwhelming aroma that comes with it:
Heidi Gardner: "It's the burnt ends from LC's. It's the Z Man sandwich from Kansas City Joe's. The fries, really well seasoned." **[24:22]
Additionally, she discusses her loyalty to the Kansas City Chiefs, sharing fun experiences like a day spent as Patrick Mahomes:
Heidi Gardner: "I went to Arrowhead and did a day as Patrick Mahomes. It's tight." **[26:22]
The Grinch jokes about the intensity of game day routines, adding to the episode’s humorous tone.
As the episode progresses, the Grinch immerses listeners in the ongoing mystery of the missing letters to Santa. In this segment, he teams up with his trusty dog, Max, to track down the main suspect—the mailman.
Navigating through comedic mishaps and exaggerated detective tropes, the Grinch narrates their chase:
Grinch: "Our main suspect, the mailman. Now, originally I thought tailing the suspect meant Max got to forcefully wag his tail in the mailman's face... But I was shockingly wrong." **[27:35]
Despite their exaggerated efforts and the mailman's festive attire, the pursuit ends humorously with the suspect eluding capture, leaving listeners eagerly anticipating the next clue in the Whoville mystery.
The episode wraps up with lighthearted interactions, including the Grinch’s playful banter about his "two sizes too small" heart and the importance of connecting with others during the holiday season. Renee and Heidi contribute to the jovial atmosphere with festive song snippets, leaving listeners with a mix of laughter and holiday cheer.
Notable Quotes:
Final Thoughts:
Episode 4 of 'Tis The Grinch Holiday Podcast intertwines celebrity charm with the Grinch’s signature sarcasm, delivering an entertaining exploration of holiday traditions, personal reflections, and comedic detective work. With Renée Elise Goldsberry’s Broadway brilliance and Heidi Gardner’s SNL humor, this episode promises to grow your heart three sizes with its blend of laughter, warmth, and festive mystery.
For additional holiday cheer and exclusive bonus content, listeners are encouraged to join Wondery+ through the Wondery app, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts.