British Bah Humbug! with Jameela Jamil | 2

Summary

'Tis The Grinch Holiday Podcast

Episode 2: "British Bah Humbug! with Jameela Jamil"

Release Date: November 17, 2025
Host: The Grinch
Guest: Jameela Jamil
Producer/Recurring Characters: Cindy Lou Who, Max the Dog, Dudley Wormhoo

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode brings The Grinch’s signature anti-holiday spirit into focus with British actress and activist Jameela Jamil as the guest. Together, they bond over mutual disdain for Christmas and discuss rebel holiday traditions, people-pleasing fatigue, and the chaotic realities behind festive celebrations. Comedic banter, tongue-in-cheek "holiday facts," and a subplot about the Grinch’s over-the-top festival, Grinchapalooza, set a hilariously irreverent tone.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. A Not-So-Merry Christmas Spirit

• The Grinch kicks off with a tirade about the pain of Christmas tree shopping, poking fun at traditional customs, waste, and holiday consumerism.
  • "Chopping a whole tree down?... So some family can watch it slowly die in their living room over the next month." (04:25)
• He shares a rapid-fire, satirical set of "holiday fun facts," lampooning everything from eggnog ("Did you know that most eggnog is actually just pasteurized rhinoceros mucus?" 06:57) to stockings and caroling.

2. Meet Jameela Jamil: Self-Professed Christmas Skeptic

• The Grinch introduces Jameela with a typically backhanded flourish, referencing her career and joking about the indignity of being featured in in-flight magazines (12:12).
• Their rapport centers on mutual food pilfering on set, and general skepticism toward Hollywood glamour.
  • Jameela: "My top photo shoot tip is to bring Tupperware with me to steal as many snacks as possible." (13:13)

3. The Art of Not People-Pleasing – British vs Whoville Grinchiness

• They connect over their “low desire to please” (14:42), with Jameela detailing her British roots as the source:
  • "We are very polite indeed, but that politeness is holding in pure venom, rage, and toxicity, I would say." (15:11)
• A witty exchange follows about the quirks of British vs. American spelling and holidays.
  • Grinch: "I like how you guys just kind of play around with the spellings of words...” (15:58)

4. Jameela’s Unlikely Showbiz Story

• Jameela reveals her entry into television began in teaching, and pivoted to TV through an accidental audition after an argument in a pub.
  • "Because I was so relaxed...they mistook that for competence and confidence. And then they gave me the biggest job on youth television almost in England's history." (18:11)
• On her Hollywood career: "I have a story that has exactly zero struggle in it." (19:08)

5. Holiday Rebels: Christmas and Hanks-giving Instead

• Jameela out-Grinches the Grinch as she explains her avoidance of Christmas and creation of a Tom Hanks-themed holiday:
  • "I have started my own separate holiday...where we watch Tom Hanks movies and we eat Indian food together and we talk about the things around the table that we love about Tom Hanks. And it’s my own separate thing." (21:03)
• Both share a disdain for typical holiday music—with a mutual soft spot for Mariah Carey (20:34).

6. Holiday Mishaps & Chaos

• Jameela shares a story about nearly choking on a chickpea, highlighting the absurdity and near-tragedy of having to sit through a mandatory YouTube ad for the Heimlich maneuver while choking (21:43).
  • "It’s a 60-second ad for the Heimlich maneuver, which you only ever would YouTube when you are choking..." (22:32)

7. Jameela’s Christmas Movie Role – Not So Merry After All

• Jameela describes how her latest Christmas movie, "A Merry Little Xmas," is actually about festive disasters, family tension, and chaos—something the Grinch enthusiastically approves.
  • "I play an instigator of even more chaos to make Christmas even worse. So you’d love my character." (24:01)

8. The Battle of the Festivals: Grinchapalooza vs. Whoville Tree Lighting

• The subplot progresses as the Grinch attempts to plan “Grinchapalooza” with shady British impresario Dudley Wormhoo – only to be scammed out of his cash in delightfully cartoonish fashion.
  • Grinch: "Did we just get swindled? Well, Grinchapalooza’s still on... but now we gotta do it on a budget of exactly $0.” (28:43)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote/Highlight | |-----------|----------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 04:25 | The Grinch | "Let’s go pick out a tree that was mercilessly chopped down... just to watch it slowly die in their living room." | | 06:59 | The Grinch | "Did you know that most eggnog is actually just pasteurized rhinoceros mucus?" | | 13:13 | Jameela Jamil | "My top photo shoot tip is to bring Tupperware...to steal as many snacks as possible." | | 15:11 | Jameela Jamil | "We are very polite indeed, but that politeness is holding in pure venom, rage, and toxicity..." | | 18:11 | Jameela Jamil | "They mistook that for competence and confidence. And then they gave me the biggest job on youth television..." | | 21:03 | Jameela Jamil | "I have started my own separate holiday...it’s my own separate thing." | | 22:32 | Jameela Jamil | "It’s a 60-second ad for the Heimlich maneuver, which you only ever would YouTube when you are choking..." | | 24:01 | Jameela Jamil | "I play an instigator of even more chaos to make Christmas even worse. So you’d love my character." | | 28:43 | The Grinch | "Did we just get swindled? Well, Grinchapalooza’s still on, not gonna let this defeat us..." |

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:22-04:05: Grinch’s comedic setup and opening holiday rant
• 06:59: Holiday “fun facts” segment
• 11:49-13:46: Introduction of Jameela Jamil and mutual “food stealing” confessions
• 14:42-16:33: The art of not people-pleasing, Britishness, and spelling jokes
• 17:02-19:08: Jameela’s unconventional path from teacher to TV star
• 20:03-21:40: Disdain for Christmas and Tom Hanks alternative holiday
• 21:43-22:32: Jameela’s “almost died choking” story
• 23:32-24:14: Discussion of “A Merry Little Xmas” and family holiday chaos
• 24:30-28:43: Grinch’s festival planning, Dudley Wormhoo’s scam, and blowout subplot

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Tone & Style

The episode is irreverent, satirical, and full of holiday mischief. The Grinch’s grouchy, quick-witted banter is matched by Jameela’s dry British humor and self-deprecation. They both poke fun at tradition, poke holes in holiday myths, and bond over their refusal to people-please or conform.

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Overall Takeaway

This episode is a festive treat for Grinch fans, anti-Christmas rebels, and lovers of British wit. It’s a comedic, offbeat examination of why the holiday season can be annoying, with smart asides about cultural differences and the pleasures of defying expectations. The showdown between Whoville Christmas and the Grinch’s Grinchapalooza sets up the season arc, promising more mischief to come.

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For fans who cherish holiday chaos as much as holiday cheer, this episode offers a hearty dose of both—served with a wink and a scowl.

Transcript

[Announcer]

Wondery subscribers can listen to Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast ad free. Join Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

[The Grinch]

Namaste. Who's there? Is it Bigfoot? The abominable snowman who hit the buzzer?

[Jameela Jamil]

Hi there. It's Jamita Jamil. Oh, I'm here for the podcast.

[The Grinch]

Oh, you're so early. Tbh. I wasn't expecting you to actually show up.

[Jameela Jamil]

Sorry.

[The Grinch]

Yeah, okay. I haven't really straightened up the place yet. Do you mind hanging out for a bit while I tidy up?

[Jameela Jamil]

Okay, yeah.

[The Grinch]

In the meantime, do you have your phone on you? You can pre register for Mount Crumpet building access. Just scan the QR code that Max carved into the snow in front of you with his pee. Also, while you have your phone out, can you order me one of those acai bowls? They look like an ice cream sundae, but taste like a compost. He. You ever have one of those?

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. Any toppings in particular?

[The Grinch]

Granola's a must. And what are those little nasty red. They're like goji berries. Yes, yes.

[Jameela Jamil]

Disgusting.

[The Grinch]

Disgusting about, I don't know, like a thousand of those. By the way, feel free to sneak into the security hut by the Mount Crumpet loading dock. If anyone asks, you don't know me, okay? Yeah. And whatever you do, do not press the red button on the control panel.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm gonna press the red button, I think.

[The Grinch]

Well, I mean, you want to know what it does?

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[The Grinch]

It triggers a reverse trapdoor. It's just like a regular trapdoor, but the door flaps open upward, catapulting you through the security hut roof and all the way up to the studio level. You want to try it? Come on, press it. Press it.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, Maybe I won't try it. Maybe I'll stay here.

[The Grinch]

Press it.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'll order you an acai bowl.

[The Grinch]

Okay, Fine.

[Narrator]

From Wondry and Dr. Seuss, broadcasting directly from Mount Crumpets to how we get power all the way up here, I'll never know. It's Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. As always, the Grinch is joined by ace producer, sidekick and rising holiday influencer, who's never shy about interrupting.

[Cindy Lou Who]

You're doing a great job, Mr. Announcer.

[Narrator]

Cindy Lou. Who do you think you are interrupting me? And right over there, hoping he doesn't have to wear antlers this year, it's Max the dog. Now here's your host, Christmas biggest besides skinny chimneys.

[Dudley Wormhoo]

It's the Grinch.

[The Grinch]

Wow, where'd we get him? Long Winded Announcers R Us. Geez, but yeah, it's me, the O.G. the G man, the gris inch. We're back. We got picked up, as they say in Huliwood, for not one, not two. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're a bonafide hit, baby. It's season three. Yeah. Let's go. And with me as always, Cindy Lou who. How are you, C.L.

[Announcer]

Dubs?

[Cindy Lou Who]

Doing well, Mr. Grinch, thanks. I'm happy to be back for another season. And just a reminder, listeners, you can follow me on hoostagram @cindyloo kidproducer.

[The Grinch]

And I'm also on who Talk, and that was exhausting. But I get it. Everyone's riding the Grinch wave these days. We all have personal brands to manage now. And it is great to be back. But you know what's not great? The most annoying time of the year. Oh, that's right, it's here again. The holidays. I don't even want to say it out loud. I know you're probably thinking, wait, we're barely into the holiday season. Is there already something bothering the Grinch? Of course there is. When it comes to the holidays, I'm like a wreath with a poofy diaper in the middle of it. That's just my vibe. Okay? Want me to prove it? Here we go.

[Narrator]

Hold on to your seats.

[The Grinch]

Keep on your pants.

[Narrator]

The Grinch is going on one of his rants.

[The Grinch]

What am I ranting about now? Oh, nothing. Just one of the biggest pains in the butt you Christmas creeps put yourselves through every year around this time shopping for a Christmas tree. Oh, yeah, that's a fun tradition, isn't it?

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[The Grinch]

Let's go pick out a tree that was mercilessly chopped down, displacing all kinds of defenseless, now homeless, and might I say, delicious critters and creatures. Good, hard working termites, tree slugs, banana slugs, regular slugs, spiders, moths, worms, SAP beetles. You eat SAP beetles around the holidays? Yes, they're seasonal. It's my Christmas tradition. But come on. Chopping a whole tree down?

[Announcer]

Why?

[The Grinch]

Because some family wants to watch it slowly die in their living room over the next month. Come on, kids. Let's all drive down to the parking lot of who depot to watch day laborers wrap up a tree like it's a dead swordfish and place it on top of our medium priced SUV crossover. Yeah, and let's be even louder than we were last year. Let's sing annoying Christmas carols too, because the Grinch loves that. No, I don't. And what kind of Christmas tree do you Get. No one knows. They just make up new kinds of Christmas trees every year. This is a Douglas fir. This is a noble. This is a Norwegian princess. Oh, okay, are we just naming cruise lines now? Just give me the kind that won't be drooping in two days so that all my ornaments crash onto the floor. Oh, that's a beautiful sound. Actually, now that I hear it now, I'll admit I do have some fun with all this. You know, there's a Christmas tree lot not far from here, very convenient for me, run by these two hippies from up north, and it's a blast to sneak down behind them and disable their generator. You should see them lose their poo, worrying about keeping all their weird vegan soups warm. To sum up, taking an innocent tree out of the ground, placing it on some big torture rack where it looks like they're trying to get the tree to admit to a crime, then chop off the base of its trunk and bundle it up with the same plastic mesh they use for bags of oranges, only for you to take it home, stand it up and put some ugly artwork on it that your kid made in the third grade. I mean, what a mean, wasteful waste of time. You mean Grinch? Now, listen, I may seriously loathe. I mean, really, really dislike Christmas and the holiday season, but that doesn't mean I haven't studied it meticulously. I know the ups, downs and outs, sideways and back again stats of this crazy time, and I want to share it with you in a little bit. I'm calling holiday Fun Facts. Here's one. Did you know that most eggnog is actually just pasteurized rhinoceros mucus?

[Cindy Lou Who]

I might have to fact check that.

[The Grinch]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. And did you also know that before she met Santa, Mrs. Claus was an aspiring RA she went by the stage name Nutmeg the Stallion.

[Cindy Lou Who]

That is unconfirmed.

[The Grinch]

Okay, but did you know that all the wrapping paper you throw away on Christmas morning is recycled into fun wigs for dogs? It's true. Ask Max about his chapel roan wig. You're right. You look more like Ron Weasley in that thing. Moving on. Here's a really fun fact about Christmas. Did you know that There are only 10 families who appear on all holiday cards? It's true. These printing places just reuse the same families over and over and over on every card. But we never notice because we project the same people we love and miss the most onto their faces. Oh, God. That's actually really sweet. And Sad. No, no. Down. Hard down. Not during the fun part. Okay, I think I'm good. I'm good. Okay, here's another Christmas factoid that'll blow your mind. Did you know that stockings were originally designed to pick up reindeer poop, but then big plastic took over the poop bag industry, so now they're just fire hazards that hold cheap gifts like lip gloss and keychains.

[Cindy Lou Who]

Stockings hung by the fireplace are kind of dangerous, but I still don't think that's true.

[The Grinch]

Save it, Sand. I'm on a roll. Check it. Did you know that in addition to candles that smell like Christmas trees, science is working on a Christma that smells like candle wax? Why? That's my question. For most science experiments I hear about science. What are those guys ever up to? Right. Here's another. This is very interesting. Some cultures refer to wreaths as Santa's toilet seat. That's true.

[Cindy Lou Who]

No, it's not.

[The Grinch]

How about this? Did you know that the term caroling got its name from Carol Buzlowski? She escaped from a local prison and started scream singing in people's windows. It's true. How many more more of these great fun facts do I have? About a day, but I'll end on this one. Did you know that in addition to Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph, Santa had six backup reindeer?

[Cindy Lou Who]

Backup reindeer? What were their names?

[The Grinch]

Greg, Jose, Vasquez, Carl, Chad, T. Boz, and Bazinga. He's my favorite. And those are my Christmas fun facts.

[Narrator]

Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast cannot confirm, deny or verify the validity of any of the previous claims. These are the mindless ramblings of a green Christmas curmudgeon and should by no means be accepted as fact.

[The Grinch]

Who told him to say that? Sandy? We need to vet everything that guy says. Ugh, I need a break to compose myself.

[Announcer]

Hey there, Grinch fans. If you and the family are enjoying the show, I have the perfect recommendation for you after you've listened to every episode of Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. Obviously, it's a podcast called the Cinnamon A Holiday Adventure. The magical Cinnamon Bear, played by the one and only Alan Cumming, helps little Jimmy and Judy on a quest to find their stolen tree topping star. Along the way, they'll encounter some bizarre characters, including Mr. Presto, the magician, voiced by John Goodman, and Santa Claus himself, played by Ryan Reynolds. A little bit of humor mixed with a star studded cast. Did we mention Rachel Dratch too? And you've got a deliciously rich and rewarding holiday experience. Listen to the Cinnamon Bear, a holiday adventure only on Audible. And Grinch listeners can get audible for only 99 cents a month for the first three months. For a limited time, save over 90% on the best selection of audiobooks plus podcasts like the Cinnamon Bear. Just visit the Audible website and look for the limited time offer banner Happy Holidays.

[The Grinch]

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch. Your heart's an empty hole. Your brain is full of spiders. You got garlic in your stomach, Mr. Grinch. I wouldn't touch you with a 39 and a half foot pole. My guest tonight is a lovely and talented actress and activist. Hopefully she can actively help me cancel Christmas, so stay tuned for that. She's best known for her turn as Tahani in the Good Place, which, judging by the name, is not a show about Whoville. This year alone, she's been featured in Pixar's Elio and is now starring in what is a very unpleasant combination of words to say out loud. The Netflix Christmas rom com, A very little Xmas. Please welcome Jameela Jamil. Hey there.

[Jameela Jamil]

Hi. How are you?

[The Grinch]

I'm great. Thanks for coming all the way up here. I mean, I. Oh, man, I should have picked up. I'm a mess. I'm a mess today. One of those decades now. You've been on the COVID of Vogue, Glamour, and Vera, the in flight magazine for Virgin Atlantic Airlines. Big time stuff. Was it always your dream to be stuffed in a seat back pocket next to a vomit bag?

[Jameela Jamil]

100%. It's where I always belonged, I felt.

[The Grinch]

Really?

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[The Grinch]

With a bunch of Biscoff crumbs and.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[The Grinch]

Maybe a gum wrapper, definitely.

[Jameela Jamil]

Hopefully. Actually just a piece of old gum that someone didn't even bother to put in a wrapper that they just stuck on the inside.

[The Grinch]

Well, the world's your oyster.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[The Grinch]

Seize the day.

[Jameela Jamil]

Exactly.

[The Grinch]

I mean, who's gonna stop you? It's not like there's cameras in there.

[Jameela Jamil]

Listen, a girl can dream.

[The Grinch]

Have you seen my cover? I did a cover. I was once featured on the COVID of Harper's Bazaar.

[Jameela Jamil]

Really?

[The Grinch]

Not the fashion mag? It sounds like it, but in this case, bizarre is spelled B I, Z.

[Jameela Jamil]

A R R E. Yes, that sounds really great.

[The Grinch]

Do you have any tips for just doing that kind of photo shoot thing? I mean, you're very glamorous and, you know, I kind of try to suck in my gut, but it's just kind of f. Physically impossible for me.

[Jameela Jamil]

You know, no one has a gut in Hollywood and I Think you're bringing that to the table, and I think that that's gorgeous. Oh, you know, I think it's cool.

[The Grinch]

You think so? It's kind of like how people are keeping their natural teeth these days instead of getting fake choppers.

[Jameela Jamil]

100%. Yeah. My top photo shoot tip is to bring Tupperware with me to steal as many snacks as possible.

[The Grinch]

Well, why do you need the Tupperware if the Wheat Thins and the Cheez Its are already in their own packages?

[Jameela Jamil]

Because I don't believe in just taking packaged snacks. I like to take not livestock, but real baked goods, you know, and then I take them home with me and then I put them in the freezer. I have a long running issue with stealing food from set.

[The Grinch]

Oh, my gosh. I mean, I don't know if you know anything about my personal history, but I think I just fell in love. I like to steal food as well. It's just. It's very specific seasonal items that I have in mind.

[Jameela Jamil]

Like what?

[The Grinch]

Roast beast, of course. As well as, you know, old bananas.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, I love an old banana.

[The Grinch]

You know, I've only been on a couple of these, like, sets or whatever. I travel a lot, and I travel for pleasure as well. I was in Kauai last week, but. Wow. Yeah. I got invited to swim in some sewage. It was a sanitation workers convention, and they just wanted a couple weird guys like me swimming around in some open sewage, and I obliged.

[Jameela Jamil]

Was that in London?

[The Grinch]

No, that was in Kauai.

[Jameela Jamil]

Ah. Cause it sounds like just dipping your toes in the Thames.

[The Grinch]

Oh, well, I've done that too.

[Jameela Jamil]

We swim the Channel, which sounds exactly like what you're describing.

[The Grinch]

Oh, really?

[Jameela Jamil]

Just a couple of guys swimming in sewage.

[The Grinch]

So I wanted to talk to you about something that we have in common. We both are people displeasers. In fact, you even have a substack named low desire to please. I mean, can we be best friends already? Can we be bffffffff if we don't.

[Jameela Jamil]

Get married by the end of this podcast, I would be absolutely amazed.

[The Grinch]

Where does your dislike for people pleasing come from? Because mine comes straight from Whoville around Christmas time.

[Jameela Jamil]

Mine comes from the other Whoville, England. We are very uptight, unpleasant people. We're very polite indeed. But that politeness is holding in pure venom, rage and toxicity, I would say. And so, British people, you'll really notice it when you come over here from America. The difference in the customer service. There's no smiles, there's no compliments. No one cares how your weekend Was here. And if you ask someone you know, like, oh, what's your Easter plans? They'll treat you like you've just put your hand in their purse. So my low desire to please comes from being British.

[The Grinch]

Oh my gosh. Talking to you is like looking in a British mirror, I guess. With a U, right? Does mirror have a U over there?

[Jameela Jamil]

Yes.

[The Grinch]

Ah, no it doesn't. Well, it really should. I like how you guys just kind of play around with the spellings of words, you know what I mean? I know you invented the language and everything, but I really think that the Americans perfected it. I mean, baconator. A word like that would not happen in Merry Old England.

[Jameela Jamil]

100%. We also wrote the word phlegm. You know that stuff that.

[The Grinch]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

That comes up around this time of year. Seasonal mucus. We spell it P, H, L, E, G M. Yeah. Which doesn't make sense to anyone.

[The Grinch]

Pardle. Pardleum. Yeah. So I don't like spelling words very much. I was kicked off of my first ever spelling bee as a young man. You want to know what word I lost out on?

[Jameela Jamil]

Desperately.

[The Grinch]

That was it. Desperately. You got it right. I don't know how you did it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Wow.

[The Grinch]

Yeah. I said, can you use it in a sentence? And they said, I desperately want to get away from your stench, young man.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm sorry to hear that.

[The Grinch]

Were you good in school? Did you like it?

[Jameela Jamil]

I hated school. I was not a popular child, but I loved my teachers, which only made me less cool and more hated. And even worse, my teachers loved me. So a real nightmare for making any friends or having any lasting impact. You get it?

[The Grinch]

Well then where did the showbiz thing come from? Where's tv? Come into here. Sorry, the telly. I wanna be polite.

[Jameela Jamil]

Thank you for breaking it down. Otherwise I would have no idea what you're talking about.

[The Grinch]

So not the wireless, but the telly.

[Jameela Jamil]

I became an English teacher cause I loved teachers so much that I became one. And then I got scouted. I had an argument with a man in a pub, an English pub, which is a social institution in London. And he thought that I was funny. And he told me I should go up for this big nationwide open call to be on tv. And I said, ugh, I would never go on television. I think the industry is disgusting. It would go against all of my principles. And he said, really? Well, it's £1,000 a day. And I was like, what is the email? Please can I have it now? And all of my principals feelings flew out the window and I sacrificed My integrity and went to the audition. And unbelievably, because I was so relaxed, because I didn't think I was really going to get it. I was just there for the experience. They mistook that for competence and confidence. And then they gave me the biggest job on youth television almost in England's history.

[The Grinch]

Wow.

[Jameela Jamil]

And so I did that for, like, eight years. And then I kind of tried everything I wanted to try. So then I went to America, and I was like, what could I bring my chaos and disaster to here? And so I thought, this will be a funny idea for a column if I go to a Hollywood audition. And it was for a TV show called the Good Place, and I got it by mistake. So I am the least popular actor in Hollywood because I have a story that has exactly zero struggle in it.

[The Grinch]

Oh, my gosh, what a tale. You go to a foreign country and go on your first audition, book it, and then what? Then you just vibe then I've just.

[Jameela Jamil]

Been vibing ever since.

[The Grinch]

I feel like you need to start some kind of Tony Robbins thing, because I would be at the front of the Hilton Exhibition hall listening to your life philosophy.

[Jameela Jamil]

I know. I want to call myself Phony Robbins and start my own tour.

[The Grinch]

Phony Robin.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. Pretty good.

[The Grinch]

Yes. Yes, yes.

[Announcer]

Oh.

[The Grinch]

Oh, my gosh. I mean, let's talk about this. Tahani on the Good Place. Everybody in America knows you from this show, but let's be real. Christmas, that's the bad place. All right.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yes.

[The Grinch]

Rainbow string lights, inflatable blowups on lawns. Just trash bags dressed up for the season. So tell me, what about Christmas is actually good? I mean, do you have a thought on this?

[Jameela Jamil]

Very little. I can't stand it. I can't stand this stuff.

[The Grinch]

Oh, my God. Right?

[Jameela Jamil]

Not a bit. Big Christmas person. I like to go against the grain. I like to eat Chinese or Indian food, preferably alone or with one other person. I will play no Christmas music. The only time I like to listen to Christmas music is Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas is you. And I listen to that in July and only in July.

[The Grinch]

I also, too, despise Christmas, but listening to Mariah Carey is kind of a non negotiable for me.

[Jameela Jamil]

So you listened to Mariah Carey during.

[The Grinch]

During Christmas, but not All I Want for Christmas is yous. Just the Emancipation of Mimi.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, the best album.

[The Grinch]

I. I'm just. I've been dazzled by this woman who hates Christmas as much as I do. I mean, I just never thought.

[Jameela Jamil]

It sounds like I hate it even More.

[The Grinch]

You might hate it more than me.

[Jameela Jamil]

Which is something I think I've come here to out. Grinch. The Grinch. In fact, you know what my nickname is? The Grinch.

[The Grinch]

Really?

[Jameela Jamil]

Around this time of year, because I'm so unseasonal in my joy. Even for Thanksgiving. I refuse to celebrate Thanksgiving. I want to celebrate Hanksgiving. So I have started my own separate holiday that I have been doing for 10 years with my friends since I moved to America, where we watch Tom Hanks movies and we eat Indian food together and we talk about the things around the table that we love about Tom Hanks. And it's my own separate thing. So I'm a rebel. I don't believe in the system. I don't want to be told how to celebrate.

[The Grinch]

Oh my God. Ah, I'm having a heart. Swell. Ah. You hate Christmas and holidays that second. Help me, Jamila. There's not room in my rib bench.

[Narrator]

Quit giggling.

[The Grinch]

I'm having a real cardiac moment.

[Jameela Jamil]

You know, one time I was choking when I first moved to Los Angeles. I'm just going to make this about me now. While you're dying. Well, someone's going to have to have this place. I'll inherit it from you. I choke. When I first moved to America on a small dried chickpea. The chickpea is exactly the size of my airwaves. And I'm living with this model who is not very good at the Heimlich maneuver. A bit like just how I almost let you die. She was doing the same to me and then she was sort of slapping me on the arm, which is not where the chickpea was, and going like, get out of her stop. Like talking to the chickpea. And so she youtubes the Heimlich maneuver, which is what you're supposed to do when someone's choking. And. And they have an ad on the Heimlich maneuver. A mandatory ad, not the one that you can click away in five seconds.

[The Grinch]

Oh my God.

[Jameela Jamil]

It's a 60 second ad for the Heimlich maneuver, which you Only ever would YouTube when you are choking and need help learning the Heimlich maneuver. So I almost died because of the ad. Remembered last second that I had found an inhaler and that that would open my airwaves. I went, ran, grabbed it, used it, and then my airwaves opened. The chickpea fell down to the bottom of my windpipe. But I survived. But then I had it rattling around for ages.

[The Grinch]

You hear that? Kids pay for YouTube with no ads. Now when they told me that you were coming on this show promoting a Netflix project. I got all excited thinking you were cast on Great British baking show. But nope, just a Christmas rom com called A Merry Little Xmas. So sell me on that career decision. This seems like a holiday nightmare. Okay? Like running into an ex under mistletoe. Please tell me there's a twist that might actually stop me from throwing the TV out the window.

[Jameela Jamil]

A Merry Little Xmas is the opposite of A Merry Little Xmas. It's a disastrous Christmas and everything is tense and going wrong. And it's. It's. It's family, it's tension, it's divorce and marriage and relationship problems. And I play an instigator of even more chaos to make Christmas even worse. So you'd love my character. Oh, okay, so it's not your average Christmas movie. It's not all lovey dovey and cheesy. It's about real family and real relationships. It shows all the tension and the boredom and the, you know, the nightmare of Christmas. Oh, and some of the sweet stuff. But we don't need to focus on that.

[The Grinch]

That sounds great. I mean, I love family tension. Well, this has just been an incredible conversation. Thanks for coming on the show, Jameela. Jamila.

[Jameela Jamil]

Thank you, the Grinch.

[Narrator]

We return now to our Christmas spectacular showdown. It's Cindy versus the Grinch in dueling holiday event held on the same night. Cindy and her Whoville tree lighting ceremony.

[Cindy Lou Who]

It's only Whoville's biggest, leafiest pre Christmas.

[Narrator]

Celebration versus the Grinch's. Definitely planned far in advance. Grinchapalooza.

[The Grinch]

Oh yeah, I didn't tell you about that.

[Narrator]

And now let's join the Grinch at the Grinchapalooza festival grounds. Where he's about to meet a bloke promising to deliver the festival of his wildest, weirdest and greenest dreams.

[The Grinch]

Okay, I'm here with Max on location, as they say, atop Mount Crumpet on Grinch's Meadow, which I've just now decided to name this place. Remember, Max, we're meeting festival producer Dudley Wormhoo, A professional. A British professional with an accent and everything.

[Jameela Jamil]

Hi.

[Dudley Wormhoo]

I hear the bridge.

[The Grinch]

Well, I better be right. Otherwise you better call animal control and tell them there's a green beast on the loose.

[Dudley Wormhoo]

I love it. But, er, here, mate. Stanley Wormu, top tier festival impresario at your service. Is that the money?

[The Grinch]

Yeah. Briefcase full of untraceable cash, just like you specifically requested.

[Dudley Wormhoo]

Brilliant, mate. It's like I always say, trust is the cornerstone of any good Partnership?

[The Grinch]

Absolutely. Dudley, I've got big plans for Grinchapalooza. Christmas tree, wood chipping contest, candy cane bonfires. But I want to know, Take me through your vision. What else do you see?

[Dudley Wormhoo]

Oh, what do I see? Okay, well, can we get rid of that rock formation? Yeah, it could be very peaceful. And over there we'll have holographic unicorn races. Right? You look like a guy who loves unicorns.

[The Grinch]

Oh, that's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Cindy Lou Who]

Mr. Grinch.

[The Grinch]

Oh, great. Look who just crashed the visionary meeting.

[Dudley Wormhoo]

Who's that child with the crazy hair?

[Cindy Lou Who]

Hello, Mr. Worm.

[Jameela Jamil]

Who?

[Cindy Lou Who]

Cindy Lou.

[The Grinch]

Who?

[Dudley Wormhoo]

Oh, hello, love. Nice hair. Where'd you get it done? Tell me. Very festive.

[Cindy Lou Who]

Thank you.

[Jameela Jamil]

Wait.

[Cindy Lou Who]

No distractions. Mr. Grinch, can I talk to you privately?

[The Grinch]

Uh huh.

[Cindy Lou Who]

Mr. Grinch, I overheard you saying you're meeting with this guy and you need to be careful. A quick Google search shows Dudley got banned from the Glastonbury Music festival in the UK because of the crazy coaster disaster of 87.

[The Grinch]

Oh, Cindy, jealousy looks terrible on you. Green suits me. Not you.

[Cindy Lou Who]

He had a half finished roller coaster at a rock concert. People just want flying into the air.

[The Grinch]

Please, you're embarrassing yourself. Dudley's a saint. A British saint. With scarves and everything. And he's got a cane. Doesn't even have a limp. And he's twirling a cane. How threatening could that be?

[Cindy Lou Who]

Respectfully, I shouldn't even be here, but I'm trying to help you.

[The Grinch]

And I shouldn't even listen. But here we are.

[Cindy Lou Who]

Don't say I didn't warn you.

[The Grinch]

Enjoy your tree party. Right, where were we?

[Dudley Wormhoo]

I believe you were just about to hand over the briefcase. Gotta get on for those. Yeah. Rockmasters. Unicorn holograms. You know what I mean. It's for the puzzles, mate. Come on, hand it over.

[The Grinch]

Oh, yeah, sure. You're really. You're really grabbing at this cash like a hungry raccoon in a dumpster. You're not gonna. Ah, who am I kidding? You got a scarf. You're clearly trustworthy, worthy. There you go.

[Dudley Wormhoo]

O, that's heavy. Okay, right, so I just remembered, I've got to feed my helicopter pilots. Pets, iguana. Strict feeding schedule, you understand? Brb, mate. Of course.

[The Grinch]

Lizards gotta eat. Am I right? A visionary and a good friend, you just love to see it. Wait, are you taking off?

[Dudley Wormhoo]

Don't embarrass me. You got us getting. Crikey. I'll give you a bar later. Cheerio. But you don't have my Dapper.

[The Grinch]

Max. Did we just get swindled well, Grinchapalooza's still on. Not gonna let this defeat us, but now we gotta do it on a budget of exactly $0 max. Call Cindy. Tell her you pulled a muscle chasing your tail. All come along strictly to manage your rehab. God, that Dudley sure is a charmer. Should we invite him? Yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right. He's a terrible person who stole all of our money. So definitely not on the invite list. I wouldn't touch you with a 39 and a half foot pol. And they really make them that long? Go off kings. How about some organ? Yeah, that's nice. Okay, wrap it up.

[Announcer]

Follow Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast on the Wondery App, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast ad free by joining Wondery plus and the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short [e-mail] survey if you have a tip about a story you think we should investigate, please write to [e-mail] tips.

[Cindy Lou Who]

Tis the Grinch holiday Podcast is a production of Wondery and Dr. Seuss Enterprises, starring James Austin Johnson as the Grinch with Anjuli Kunnapaneni as Cindy Lou who? And Anthony Atamanick as the announcer. This episode was written by our lead writer, Dan Cronin and Joe Redlingschafer featuring voice acting by Kieran Regan. Our sound designer is Jamie Cooper. Music supervision by Scott Velasquez for Frisbe In Sync. Senior producers are Adam Azeroth, Jennifer Klein Walker and Brian Taylor White. Our associate producer is Kim Baekema. Sarah Mathis is our managing producer and Callum Plews is our senior managing producer. Carlos Hernandez is our audio engineer and Adrian Tapia is our studio manager. Executive produced by Susan Brandt for Dr. Seuss Enterprises. Executive producers are Andrew Goldstein and Marcia Louie. For Wondering.

[Jameela Jamil]

It.