Holiday Hot Takes! with Hollywood Hottie John Stamos | 10

Summary

'Tis The Grinch Holiday Podcast

Episode: Holiday Hot Takes! with Hollywood Hottie John Stamos | 10
Release Date: December 23, 2024
Host: The Grinch (voiced by James Austin Johnson)
Guest: John Stamos

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Introduction of the Guest

In this season finale episode, The Grinch welcomes renowned actor and musician John Stamos as his special guest. The episode sets a festive yet mischievous tone, aligning with the podcast's blend of holiday spirit and Grinch-like cynicism.

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Opening Banter and Setting the Tone

The conversation begins with humorous exchanges about lighting and personal appearances. The Grinch immediately establishes his sardonic personality, contrasting with John Stamos's calm and affable demeanor.

Notable Quote:

• The Grinch [00:39]: "This is not a flattering light, is it?"
• John Stamos [00:31]: "How does my hair look? Am I ready?"

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Discussing Hollywood and Personalities

The dialogue shifts to Hollywood anecdotes, where John shares insights about his experiences in the entertainment industry. The Grinch playfully teases John about his hair and roles, creating a light-hearted rapport.

Notable Quote:

• John Stamos [12:42]: "I was originally going to play you in the movie that Jim Carrey got. Did you know that?"
• The Grinch [13:15]: "Buddy, you couldn't pay me to go over that."

---

Reflections on "Full House" and "Fuller House"

A significant portion of the conversation delves into John Stamos's iconic role in "Full House" and its sequel "Fuller House." The Grinch expresses his personal distaste for the show's themes of excessive hugs and warm sentiments, providing a humorous counterpoint to John’s nostalgic reflections.

Notable Quote:

• The Grinch [13:40]: "And Fuller House, I mean, forget about it. Yeah. Sounds like a nightmare."
• John Stamos [14:25]: "Too many hugs. We would do maybe four Christmas shows every season."

---

Musical Insights and Band Experiences

John shares his passion for music, emphasizing his time with the Beach Boys. The Grinch humorously downplays this, but John passionately defends the band’s legacy, highlighting their American roots and cultural significance.

Notable Quote:

• John Stamos [18:47]: "I consider myself a fan who got to play with the greatest rock and roll band in history."
• The Grinch [19:15]: "Red, white and blue flying in the California side."

---

Humorous Interactions and Personal Anecdotes

The interaction becomes more playful as The Grinch and John engage in light-hearted teasing and fictitious scenarios, such as contemplating political campaigns and magical disappearances related to the holiday season.

Notable Quote:

• The Grinch [19:46]: "You know, I'm very interested in being a council person because I love really long tables and I love saying no to concerned citizens at a podium."
• John Stamos [21:27]: "Relatives. Is that something?"

---

Addressing the Holiday Season and Challenges

The conversation touches upon the stresses of the holiday season, with both hosts expressing their unique take on traditional festivities. John suggests spreading gift-giving throughout the year to alleviate the pressure, while The Grinch maintains his cynical perspective.

Notable Quote:

• John Stamos [22:26]: "Spread it out through the whole year."
• The Grinch [22:39]: "Double heart swell."

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Conclusion and Season Finale Wrap-Up

As the episode nears its end, The Grinch and John navigate toward the resolution of the season's central mystery—the missing letters to Santa. The Grinch humorously reflects on his role in solving the Whoville Whodunit, culminating in a festive yet characteristically Grinchy closure.

Notable Quote:

• The Grinch [30:32]: "Yeah, sounds like a them problem."
• Cindy Lou Who [30:32]: "Mr. Grinch, we received a call from Santa himself. He's a huge fan of the show."

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Key Takeaways and Insights

• Dynamic Host-Guest Relationship: The interplay between The Grinch and John Stamos offers a blend of humor, nostalgia, and playful antagonism, enhancing the episode’s entertainment value.

• Humor in Holiday Traditions: The Grinch's critical takes on traditional Christmas elements provide a humorous counter-narrative to the often sentimental portrayals of the holiday season.

• Celebrity Reflections: John Stamos offers personal anecdotes and professional insights, enriching the conversation with authentic Hollywood experiences.

• Resolution of the Mystery: The episode successfully ties together the season's overarching mystery, showcasing The Grinch's role in solving community issues despite his grumpy exterior.

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Conclusion

Holiday Hot Takes! with Hollywood Hottie John Stamos serves as a fitting finale to the season, blending celebrity interviews with the podcast's signature mix of holiday cheer and Grinchy sarcasm. The episode not only entertains but also reinforces the Grinch's journey towards a heartwarming resolution, promising growth and redemption in line with the season's themes.

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Notable Production Credits:

• Host: James Austin Johnson as The Grinch
• Guest: John Stamos
• Additional Voices: Anjuli Kunupadini as Cindy Lou Who, Anthony Atamanick as the announcer, among others.
• Writers: Dan Cronin and Joe Redlingschafer
• Sound Design: Jamie Cooper and Kelly Kramerek
• Music Supervision: Scott Velasquez for Frizz on Sync

For more episodes and exclusive content, subscribe to Wondery+ via the Wondery App, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts.

Transcript

[The Grinch]

Wondery subscribers can listen to every episode of Tis the Grinch Holiday podcast ad free. Join Wondery to get exclusive Christmas mystery bonus content. Start your free trial in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. All right, it's a great show. Let's check in on John Stamos. He's my guest today. Hello?

[John Stamos]

Who is it?

[The Grinch]

It's. It's the Grinch. It's the guy. It's me.

[John Stamos]

I'm getting my makeup and hair done.

[The Grinch]

In the dark here. Let me turn on the light here. Oh, hi. Hi. Hi. This is not a flattering light, is it?

[John Stamos]

I think the overhead lighting is a bit much. How does my hair look? Am I ready?

[The Grinch]

Great as ever. Can we stop with the hair? Whatever, dude. Look, there's a cheese plate in there from the last guest. I think that was like a few weeks ago. So, you know, enjoy the cheese plate.

[John Stamos]

There's something that smells in here, that's for sure.

[The Grinch]

I think that would probably have to be everything.

[John Stamos]

Got it.

[The Grinch]

It would be the everything in here.

[John Stamos]

Got it.

[The Grinch]

Got it.

[John Stamos]

When can I get out of this and start?

[The Grinch]

Podcast starts in six hours. I'll come check on you in a little bit.

[John Stamos]

I can't wait.

[The Grinch]

Hey, parents. Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast is pleased to have Alexa as our presenting sponsor this season and every season, Alexa and the Echo Dot Kids Smart speaker are helping children learn and explore while having fun along the way. From Wondry and Dr. Seuss, it's the most wonderful time of the year. Unless you're the Grinch. That's right, Recording from high atop Mount Crumpet, which is almost as tall as the Whoville Christmas tree. Man, that thing is big. It's the season finale of Tiz the Grinch Holiday Podcast. Here to celebrate Christmas Eve Eve, tonight's special guest, it's everyone's favorite, Uncle John Stamos. Plus the dramatic conclusion of the Whoville Whodunit. And let's be honest, those reindeer antlers aren't fooling anybody. It's Max the dog. Now for the last time this year, it's the green grump himself, the Christmas Crab. He is the Grinch. Alrighty. Alrighty. It's me, The Grinch Almighty, Mr. Green and Mean the Charlatan, the Holiday Humbugger, and several other nicknames and interesting wordplay thingies for me. Anyhoo, it's our season finale here, so let's get down to business with a special edition of my signature rant. Hold on to your seats. Keep on your pants. The Grinch is going on one of his rants. Now what do I mean about a special edition? Well, hold onto your who hats cause I'm about to unleash a virtual rant royale of hoo larious holiday hot takes. That's right, we're going Next labs for my final rant of the season with some flamin Hot right out of the oven. Rapid fire hot takes on various Christmas and holiday related things. I'm a regular Stephen A. Grinch. Cindy, read the disclaimer.

[Cindy Lou Who]

The following statements are the opinions of a miserable green grump and do not represent the views of wondery Amazon, Dr. Seuss Enterprises, Cindy Lou who or Max the Dog.

[The Grinch]

Now strap in kiddos, cause it's about to get hot in here. First up, hot take. Plastic Christmas trees should be banned. There, I've said it. Sure, they're easier and less mess, but who wants that? Not me. If you're gonna celebrate Christmas, you should have to suffer the indignities of the traditional au naturel Christmas tree experience. Just like everybody. El. I'm talking about branches breaking off in your doorway as you carry the tree inside your home. I'm talking pine needles all over your rug. I'm talking about water spilling out of the base onto your floor so you have to get down on your hands and knees and wipe it up with a rag. Tree SAP seeping into your floorboards by the gallon. I'm talking about the full Christmas tree experience. No cop outs on my watch. Hot take. That's enough already. With Santa's reindeer, okay? How long are we gonna press these poor creatures into Santa's servitude? I mean, gosh, how old must they be now? Like, isn't 225 years of service enough? Look, it's time for Santa's reindeer to step aside and hang him up already, okay? Ship him off to a nice retirement home in Boca and let some new blood take over the reins of Santa's sleigh. Okay, move over Donner and Blitzen. There's a new generation of millennial reindeer waiting to replace you. On Connor. On Austin, on Parker, Penelope. On Riley. On Aiden, on Mason and Maddie. My next scorching hot take. We need more Christmas candy in the shape of orthopedic medical equipment. I've always said this. Why stop at candy canes? Give me a cinnamon walking boot. Stuff my stocking with a pair of crunchy crunches made out of chocolate. I want to ride around in a jazzy scooter made entirely out of taffy. Nougat neck braces. Three words. Gummy gauze pats. The kids will love it. Hot take. There should be more songs about roasted nuts. You're welcome, kids. Hot take. There aren't enough ways to spell Hanukkah. 1n, 2k's. 1k, 2n's. Starts with Ch, starts with just H. It's not nearly enough. Give me three N's, four K's. Leave it in Hebrew letters. More. I like that one. Whatever that letter's called. Throw an X in there. Get weird. Hot take. This one's really gonna upset people. Ugly Christmas sweaters are not ugly enough. Big deal. You got Pitbull's face crocheted into a sweater and he's wearing a Santa hat. If you really want to wear something offensive to a Christmas party, show up in a Sherpa lined tech vest with your company's corporate logo embroidered on it. Now that's ugly. And finally, hot take. We need some government regulation here in Whoville to monitor all the noise, noise, noise this time of year. Just take a listen. You can literally hear the who's playing their instruments and singing their dopey Christmas songs from all the way up here. Ugh. Can you believe that? And I purposely live in a cave far above it all. Can you imagine living down there in Joy Town? Even the names of the who's instruments sound loud. Listen to this list. Jing Tinglers, Flew Flubers, Tar Tankers, Hoo Hoobas, Garginkas, Tromtookas, Slu Sunkers, Blum Lucas, and the Infernal Zuzither Kharzay. It's too much noise and someone needs to crack down on it. Woo boy, that was fun. I'm fired up. What's next, Cindy? Hey, everyone, it's James Austin Johnson. I play the Grinch here on Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast is pleased to have Alexa as our presenting sponsor. The holidays are a glorious time of year. But listen, parents, between you and I, they can be so stressful too. Shopping for food, decor, presents. And while kiddos often do their best to be little helpers, sometimes they can cause a tad more chaos than intended. But worry not. I know just how they can channel that spunky holiday energy. Something that's all the rage for who's of a young age is the Echo Dot Kids. It's a cute, smart speaker with Alexa, and it's made just for kids. Echo Kids can help foster children's independence by allowing them to learn and explore. Kids can ask Alexa to play music, read a bedtime story, get help with their homework and so much more. Say you want to make sure your kids brush their teeth so they don't end up with termites in their smiles, or make sure they go to bed on time. Alexa can establish those routines through daily task reminders. Echo Kids even filters out explicit music so kids can always be ready to sing and dance along to their favorites. Like perhaps a song about a very handsome furry green fella. Huh? It's the coolest device for children both big and small, so trust me when I say the Echo Dot kids is here to help them do it all. Shop the Device [e-mail] EchoKids hey parents. It's me, James Austin Johnson, host of Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast the holidays are a time to indulge in the classics. We've grown up loving classic movies, music and the most fun classic games. Games are a great way to get the whole family together. In fact, the Pokemon Trading Card Game is sure to bring that holiday cheer, and it can be enjoyed by families and friends year after year. Passing down childhood traditions to the next generation is a lot of fun. I mean, how exciting will it be to bond over Mewtwo's psychic prowess or share how Pokemon can evolve from a cute Charmander to a fiery flying Charizard? If you don't already know how to play, no worries, because it only takes minutes to learn. You can start battling it out in the amount of time it takes to listen to me sing the show's theme song. And Pokemon cards are not only fun to play with, they're also fun to collect. They come in a variety of cool and captivating styles created by different artists, so there's something for every aesthetic. Find gift ideas for all ages and at every price [e-mail] holiday hey grownups. The Nintendo Switch System is the gift that brings family and friends together this holiday season, whether you're at home or on the road. That's because Nintendo Switch has familiar faces like Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach and Bowser in games for your holiday moments. Start your engines. The race is about to begin with Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. Get together and find out who has what it takes to win first place on Rainbow Road or embark on a wonder filled adventure in Super Mario Bros. Wonder, where the only thing to expect is the unexpected. Like Mario turning into an elephant. Huh? Wanna get the whole family in on the party? Super Mario Party Jamboree is packed with game boards and minigames. Even Grandma and Grandpa will it's all on Nintendo Switch, the home of Mario and friends. Additional Accessories may be required for multiplayer mode games, systems and some accessories sold separately. Games rated E for everyone. You're a monster, Mr. Grinch. Your heart's an empty hole. Your brain is full of spiders. You got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grey. I wouldn't touch you with a 39 and a half foot pole. My guest tonight is a total heartthrob, and that's coming from somebody whose heart is three sizes too small. He's an actor, musician, and the owner of maybe the best head of hair in the biz since Hagrid. Hagrid. I gotta call that guy. You might know him as Blackie Parrish from General Hospital, but all my millennials just call him Uncle Jesse. Please welcome John Stamos. Hey, John.

[John Stamos]

Hi, Grinch. How are you?

[The Grinch]

Oh, I love this calm demeanor that you have. Yes. You've really settled into the cave lifestyle.

[John Stamos]

I've been looking forward to meeting you since I was a kid. I'm a big fan.

[The Grinch]

Have we not met before? I swear we've met.

[John Stamos]

No, no, I'm a big fan of yours.

[The Grinch]

I mean, from one icon with grayed hair to another, I can tell you it is not easy keeping these green curls so voluminous and shiny.

[John Stamos]

They're beautiful.

[The Grinch]

Especially since I. I bathe like a cat.

[John Stamos]

Do you have a special routine that you do with your hair? Oh, is it a hairball?

[The Grinch]

It was a hairball. I'm sorry.

[John Stamos]

Got it.

[The Grinch]

Save that one. Save that one for later. Yeah. What's your secret, babe?

[John Stamos]

I have stuff in here from the 90s, so I just sort of re. You know, just put some water in it and it reignites it, you know?

[The Grinch]

Oh, really? You got some permanent, like, product put in or something like that?

[John Stamos]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it sort of stays like this the whole day.

[The Grinch]

So do you ever wash your hair or do you just kind of, like, walk through a car wash?

[John Stamos]

Yeah, sometimes I do the car wash. I'll get close to a waterfall on occasion. That sort of reignites all the old stuff in there.

[The Grinch]

You kind of have a look like that, like a cover of a paperback romance novel. You know, you might be standing under waterfalls semi frequently.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, don't go chasing waterfalls. I feel like you're being a little buddy.

[The Grinch]

It's a talk show. I'm trying to make you feel good. I'm trying to make you feel comfortable.

[John Stamos]

Okay, you're right. You're right.

[The Grinch]

I mean, are we gonna speak again after this interview?

[John Stamos]

I hope so.

[The Grinch]

Probably not.

[John Stamos]

Let's text. Do you text?

[The Grinch]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

Hey, you know, I have Something. Here's an interesting fact. You don't know about me.

[The Grinch]

Shoot.

[John Stamos]

I was originally going to play you in the movie that Jim Carrey got. Did you know that? I went to the makeup test and I was allergic to the, you know, all the prosthetics. Did you like his portrayal of you?

[The Grinch]

Because, you know, they brought me in a couple days to do some consulting.

[John Stamos]

Oh, really?

[The Grinch]

I was a little triggered walking around the set just. Cause it's like, you know, when they build an exact replica of your neighborhood and you're walking around, but you know that you're on a soundstage in freaking Burbank. It's like, it's a little eerie.

[John Stamos]

It was at Universal Studios, and I think some of that who town is still there. Did you know that?

[The Grinch]

Buddy, you couldn't pay me to go over that. I don't know if you know that much about me, but me and the who's, you know, we got a little bit of a thing.

[John Stamos]

You don't like them?

[The Grinch]

I. Well, there's a couple of them that I do like a lot. I work really well with Cindy Lou. She's.

[John Stamos]

She's on the show.

[The Grinch]

She's in the other side of the booth right now. You probably emailed with her a little bit.

[John Stamos]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you ever do, like, a Abbott Costello thing with the who's?

[The Grinch]

With the who's. Because the who's on first thing.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[The Grinch]

Hey, John, I'm old, but I'm not like, 200. Okay? Abbott and Costello. I mean, you're digging real deep in Santa's pouch here. Moving on. Full House, let's get out of the way. Admittedly, not one of my favorite programs, if I'm just being honest. I mean, I live alone in a cave at the top of a mountain, so the thought of a Full House, that's kind of. It brings out the ick for me. Right, right. And Fuller House, I mean, forget about it. Yeah. Sounds like a nightmare. Be honest. Was it torture?

[John Stamos]

At times. There was a lot of hugging, which you would have hated. You don't like hugs, right?

[The Grinch]

I don't like being touched. I don't like to touch.

[John Stamos]

Yeah. Too many hugs. We would do maybe four Christmas shows every season. Like, it wasn't even just for Christmas. It was Christmas. Christmas.

[The Grinch]

Lot of hugging. A lot of lessons.

[John Stamos]

Too many lessons. The music, you know, that sappy sort of violin music. If. Do you have any music? The music would play like that and be like, you play dj, and I'll be Danny.

[The Grinch]

Okay.

[John Stamos]

Yeah. De. Why aren't you eating your dinner anymore, De? Yeah, it was like that. Then we hug. And if you ever have kids, they would probably like full house because it's like a home cooked meal. It's a warm, friendly show. And I think it's you saying, I'm.

[The Grinch]

Not warm, buddy, look at me. Yeah, I'm humid. It's like freaking Florida in here. I'm sustaining multiple ecosystems up and down these arms and legs.

[John Stamos]

Got it, got it.

[The Grinch]

And you don't even want to see my belly button. I mean, those guys are eating good.

[John Stamos]

Got it, got it, got it.

[The Grinch]

No, no, I'm warm. I'm warm and I'm huggy.

[John Stamos]

So you let people hug you if they have to?

[The Grinch]

I accept hugs. I accept love.

[John Stamos]

Right.

[The Grinch]

It's in my affirmations. Every morning when I wake up, I look in the mirror and I say, you're worthy of love. You are an artist. Use the force, Luke. You know, I say all of it in the mirror, but then you go.

[John Stamos]

Out and then you're mean to everybody. I don't get it.

[The Grinch]

Well, I'm mean to people that are mean to me. Anyway, as a young man, you starred in how to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, which is precisely what I'm trying to do with this podcast.

[John Stamos]

Oh, really?

[The Grinch]

Now, that being said, you mind taking over while I go lay in a dank corner and snooze for a quick six hour nap?

[John Stamos]

Sure. Hello, everybody. This is the Grinch. I'm a little sexier. My voice is a little groovier, but I'd like to say hi. I'm tired of ruining important holidays.

[The Grinch]

Talk about some Broadway stuff.

[John Stamos]

I did Broadway. I did how to Succeed in Business. My second show was the show called Cabaret, which was at Studio 54, which is where I met the Grinch. Is that weird? Oh, are you awake?

[The Grinch]

All right, we're talking Studio 54 again. Okay, I think I can join back. I remember all of us looking around. I was there with Fran Leibowitz, and she was just like, this is living. And I said, honey, go back driving cabs.

[John Stamos]

Who's honey?

[The Grinch]

Fran Leibowitz. You gotta pay attention, John, quit fiddling with your headphones.

[John Stamos]

My headphones unplugged. Cause I was so much. So why don't you take down a crappy holiday like Valentine's Day or Groundhog Day? That seems a lot.

[The Grinch]

I'm making a positive impact on my community by fighting a very destructive holiday. John, think about what Christmas used to be. Christmas used to be a guy walking around with a stick whacking kids and saying no candy for you. I like that kind of thing.

[John Stamos]

I don't remember that. When was that?

[The Grinch]

You know, like Krampus and stuff.

[John Stamos]

Krampus, yeah, right. Oh, that's true.

[The Grinch]

I like that stuff. You know, I don't know why we always go, oh, Santa. Oh, he's so cool. He's so tall. I love that he's got a thyroid problem and that he's whipping his toy bag everywhere. I just get sick of all of it. He gets a lot of credit.

[John Stamos]

But you go down chimneys. Don't you too? Like, how's that work?

[The Grinch]

I just get a brick and I just go get right through that front window.

[John Stamos]

Oh, yeah. Being ease. Brick and egg.

[The Grinch]

Sometimes I'll dress up as, like, a pizza delivery guy. Sometimes I'll pull a Home Alone. You know, I'll be like Pesc at the beginning of Home Alone, just like, here I am, a normal thing that cops do all the time. Stand around for 20 minutes in your poirier.

[John Stamos]

Well, Santa would take a sleigh, I guess. Here's a question.

[The Grinch]

Sure.

[John Stamos]

Are you mad that these Gen X kids have taken slay as a different meaning?

[The Grinch]

You mean the Gen Z kids? Because the Gen X kids, they're a little old.

[John Stamos]

I meant Gen Z. Yeah, but they say slay. Like, oh, that outfit's slays.

[The Grinch]

Oh, slay, slay. Yeah. Cindy Lou walks around just being like, that's a sleigh. And I'm like, literally sitting there like, yeah. And they're, like, sitting on the couch. She's like, slay, mama.

[John Stamos]

Yeah.

[The Grinch]

And I'm like, I'm not doing anything.

[John Stamos]

Yeah.

[The Grinch]

She's like, no, your whole thing.

[John Stamos]

Slay, slay girl, something.

[The Grinch]

And then it turns out I'm just, like, wearing a crossbody bag, and I just don't like things in my pockets. You know what I'm talking about? You're asking me so many questions. I mean, who's the interviewer here? I read somewhere that you said if you weren't an actor, you'd want to be a therapist. And you know, tbh, I'm not sure about that for you. You're too handsome. Do you do selfies or do you autographs or how much do you charge?

[John Stamos]

I love meeting people. I love being famous. I love meeting people. I have no problems taking pictures. You can interrupt my lunch if you want.

[The Grinch]

You love being famous. You and Dave Grohl. You're a live musician, not just a studio guy, not just a pretty face on a billboard. Cha Cha, you are in the beach Boy, you are a Beach Boy.

[John Stamos]

I'm a fan. For a while, I was the only boy on that stage. Cause I started playing with him when I was, like, maybe 19 or 20. But I don't consider myself a Beach Boy. I consider myself a fan who got to play with the greatest rock and roll band in history. And I said it there. I said it.

[The Grinch]

Yeah, you can say it.

[John Stamos]

The greatest rock and roll band in history.

[The Grinch]

And you don't even put American in front of that. You're saying, well, history of rock.

[John Stamos]

No, I'd say American, actually, because we got the Beatles.

[The Grinch]

Okay, say America because they're all American, right? It's all about hot dogs.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, It's America's band.

[The Grinch]

Red, white and blue flying in the California side. Very patriotic to go to the Tasty Freeze and get you banana split with your sweetie baby.

[John Stamos]

I mean, you can't get more patriotic. You have to dress them up as the Founding Fathers to sing. You know, God Bless America. You know what I do now in the concerts to make it more patriotic? I actually have a T shirt cannon that I shoot apple pie out of.

[The Grinch]

No. Yes. Okay, let's say you're running for comptroller.

[John Stamos]

For what?

[The Grinch]

In your local area?

[John Stamos]

Okay.

[The Grinch]

You know, what's the platform? What's the slogan?

[John Stamos]

Have mercy.

[The Grinch]

Oh, so you're just dipping into the well?

[John Stamos]

That's all I got.

[The Grinch]

Yeah. You're just fully going on.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, just whatever. Catchphrase. You got it. Hey, are you gonna arrest me? You got it, dude. You know what I mean?

[The Grinch]

You know, I'm very interested in being a council person because I love really long tables and I love saying no to concerned citizens at a podium.

[John Stamos]

Got it.

[The Grinch]

My district. I'm in the Mount Crumpet area, and I am one of two residents over here.

[John Stamos]

Okay? You could win.

[The Grinch]

I could win. I'm having so much fun talking to you. I mean, I'm like. I've got all this research in front of me. I've thrown it right out the door because I'm just getting along with my friend John. I mean, we were in another life. We're, like, married or something, you know, in another dimension.

[John Stamos]

Yeah. You need to find somebody. I should fix you. Can I be your wingman if we go out some night?

[The Grinch]

Do you know any ladies who like grumpy guys who are really busy doing nothing?

[John Stamos]

My wife is taken. We can find someone like that.

[The Grinch]

You know, I'm looking for somebody who, you know, hates the same things I hate. You know, isn't that what any of us ever want yeah, but it's.

[John Stamos]

Sometimes it's nice to have, you know, opposites attract. Like Paula Abdul saying about, you know, she's single now.

[The Grinch]

Paula Abdul. I mean, we did go on a couple dates, sort of. You did? I'm lactose intolerant. And she really likes Vermont White Cheddar. And it was never going to happen.

[John Stamos]

She wrote Cold Hearted Snake about you. I heard. Rewrote it.

[The Grinch]

Okay. Okay. Obviously, you fancy yourself a musician. I mean, that much is clear. But do you fancy yourself a magician? Oh, how about that for a segue? John.

[John Stamos]

Yes.

[The Grinch]

What's one thing about the holiday season that you want to magically make disappear?

[John Stamos]

Interesting.

[The Grinch]

Yeah.

[John Stamos]

Relatives. Is that something?

[The Grinch]

Boom. Okay, let's go.

[John Stamos]

Yeah.

[The Grinch]

Oh, you hate relatives, too.

[John Stamos]

You do, too. You have relatives.

[The Grinch]

Sorry. I'm having my heart. Think when we find something in common, it just makes my heart swell. My heart. Two sides. Quit trying to make me explain my medical condition while it's got it. Get down. Yeah, Yeah.

[John Stamos]

I played a doctor on tv. You want me to help you?

[The Grinch]

Just give me a quick karate chop at my solar plexus.

[John Stamos]

You ready?

[The Grinch]

Go. There we go.

[John Stamos]

That was good.

[The Grinch]

That feels good.

[John Stamos]

That was good. You okay?

[The Grinch]

It's just. You just answered my question straight up. Usually people dance around it for forever, and it just takes forever.

[John Stamos]

Oh, well, I mean, that's the truth. You know, this gift giving is a pain in the butt, too, sometimes. Because, first of all, I don't need anything, so you don't have to give me any gift. Yeah, but I like to give gifts throughout the year. I don't think I have to give you this. This day, this thing. It's stressful.

[The Grinch]

Yeah. Why do we have to trade the gifts on the one day?

[John Stamos]

Yeah, exactly.

[The Grinch]

That's why I get gifts at other times.

[John Stamos]

Spread it out through the whole year. What else?

[The Grinch]

So you're like, no gifts on Christmas?

[John Stamos]

No, I didn't say that. No, I said I thought we could.

[The Grinch]

Have gone for the double heart swell if you'd been like, no gifts for Christmas, we could have.

[John Stamos]

I'm saying people can give me gifts, but I don't give a. I don't.

[The Grinch]

You don't keep gifts on Christmas?

[John Stamos]

No.

[The Grinch]

Me either.

[John Stamos]

Really?

[The Grinch]

Double heart swell. Oh, my God. Double heart swell.

[John Stamos]

Let me karate chop you again.

[The Grinch]

Oh, my God.

[John Stamos]

Better.

[The Grinch]

Okay. Double heart swell.

[John Stamos]

That's better than mouth to mouth, I think. Just punching you in the gut. Hello? I thought you were dead. Grinch. If you die, can I take over the show?

[The Grinch]

I'm good. Okay, buddy, If I die, I'm giving you this whole thing. I'm giving you the deed to the land trust. I'm giving you the dog. This dog's gonna outlive me. I mean, this guy, he's like 30.

[John Stamos]

Oh, that dog is getting mangy. Huh?

[The Grinch]

Well, I mean, don't worry about it. He doesn't go outside. He's fine. Well, I guess we gotta go ahead and wrap this up. John, it's been so great talking to you.

[John Stamos]

Oh, this was fun.

[The Grinch]

Oh, you're fun.

[John Stamos]

I think we could be friends. Not like real friends, but like.

[The Grinch]

Yeah, not like real friends, but like Hollywood friends. Like, yeah, let's get together. And then you just kind of not. Well, you're very personable.

[John Stamos]

You too.

[The Grinch]

Have you ever thought about writing a memoir? Because I think people would read it. Hmm.

[John Stamos]

Well, if you would have told me when I was a kid that I'd be on with Grinch, that's a. That's a pretty big deal. If you would have told me that.

[The Grinch]

Yeah, but I mean, I think you should. Have you thought about writing a memoir?

[John Stamos]

Who's on first?

[The Grinch]

I'm on first. It's my show.

[John Stamos]

Oh, that's right. Yes, I wrote one.

[The Grinch]

No, you did. Yeah, I did.

[John Stamos]

Yeah.

[The Grinch]

I must have missed that.

[John Stamos]

It's called if you would have told me. That's what. That's. Oh, that's what I was sort of insinuating.

[The Grinch]

Oh. Oh, if I would have. Oh, okay. See, if I'd read it, right? Then I'd know.

[John Stamos]

Yeah, right, right, right.

[The Grinch]

So would I like it? Why don't you send me a free one? Why don't you send me a big stack of free signed ones?

[John Stamos]

Okay, I'll sign them. It's worth a lot if I put my name, but it's worth more if I say love and kisses, Scott Baio.

[The Grinch]

Thank you so much for coming up to Mount Crumpet and being on my show. It means so much to me. Okay.

[John Stamos]

It's an honor. Thank you.

[The Grinch]

All right, I'll see you later. Okay.

[John Stamos]

Bye, Grinch.

[The Grinch]

I'm going to this other room, so let yourself out.

[John Stamos]

How do you get out of here? I'm locked in. He's locked me in, folks. People, call some. I need help. The Grinches locked me in this place of his.

[The Grinch]

Cindy cut his mic.

[John Stamos]

No, don't.

[The Grinch]

And we're out. Did you hear that, Cindy Lou? We are wrapped like a present. Season two, I am done with you. Okay? Time to ditch the mic, slack the studio, and slouch around my beautiful cave until the Christmas season is officially over.

[Cindy Lou Who]

This is a prepaid call from the Whoville Penitentiary.

[The Grinch]

Why is that dramatic intro still playing? Cindy, get this creepy music off the air. The case of Whoville's missing letters to Santa is closed. No need anymore for me to sit here with my delicious bowl of cereal and solve crimes. Oh, but cereal does sound good. Good idea. Freedom tastes good. Okay, let's recap. What a month. Fabulous pod, great guests. No one as charming as me, and certainly not as greasy. But we liked them. And on top of that, I cleared my name. And now the number one villain of Whoville is none other than the Postmaster General, Joy Glee. Talk about going north postal, right? Another flop for the North Pole. The mystery is solved. All thanks to me and Max. But mostly me, Mr. Grinch.

[Cindy Lou Who]

There's just one.

[The Grinch]

Yeah, alright, Sandy, you get some credit too. What do you want, a parade? You're my producer. It's your job to keep me out of prison. Alright, hey, let's do a montage, right? Let's look back at some of our favorite moments of the season. We laughed, we cried, we even threw up on the side of the road. Send dog. Roll the tape. Max, are you thinking what I'm thinking? Oh, you gotta go potty. Copy that. Well, after that's done, let's do this. Wow, this is exhilarating. This is the life. I feel so free. Ow. A bird just flew into my face. Gross. Listen, man, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. It's the Houdini's German shepherd. Gingerbread. Cute dog.

[John Stamos]

Attention, Gingerbread security force.

[The Grinch]

We need all rounded cookie hands on deck.

[John Stamos]

We have code Gumdrop. Repeat, code Gumdrop.

[The Grinch]

Oh, no, don't do that. There's already a warrant for my arrestor the North Pole from back in the 60s. What a journey. Literally to the North Pole. But none of you guys went to the North Pole this year. That's right. I'm taking a jab at my own listeners. What are you gonna do? Stop listening to the podcast. The season's over, baby. Too late, babe. Excuse me, listeners. I'll get back to insulting you in a second. Sydney, why are you moving my couch? You're disrupting my grind.

[Cindy Lou Who]

I was trying to tell you earlier. I'm making room for our final guests of the season. Why spend Christmas Eve alone?

[The Grinch]

Uh, because it slaps.

[Cindy Lou Who]

Come on in, everyone.

[The Grinch]

Final guess. Don't tell me Stamos is coming back. Oh, it's the Houdini twins. I can deal with that. What's up, you little weirdos?

[Cindy Lou Who]

Happy to be here.

[John Stamos]

Ugh.

[The Grinch]

This cave never stops being awesome. Love the stench. And the mailman. Who is still wearing those heinous shorts despite my numerous complaints. Oh, what can I say? I love pockets. It's good to be back. Well, you're not the only one with surprises, Cindy. Max, I have a special one for you. It's the Houdini's German shepherd, Gingerbread. Max has found love. And just in time for the holidays. How revolting. All right, listen up, everyone. While you're here, I guess I'll apologize for accusing you of the worst crime in the history of Whoville. Oh, golly, I don't know about that, Grinch. Your caper is still the most notorious. When won't I be haunted and taunted by my past Houdini's? Any updates you want to share with the audience? Little bit of a. Where are they now? We're doing great, Grinch.

[Cindy Lou Who]

We finally mastered disappear.

[The Grinch]

Where'd they go? I hate this. Ah, they're back. Ah, they've switched seats, I think. No way to know for sure. I can't tell them apart. Moving on. Mailman, what's going on with you, babe? Well, a lot of big news, actually. The wife and I adopted a hermit crab. And I've been learning. Alright, Cliff Notes, Will. The biggest update is I have a new job. Finally, you're done with the goofy shorts. Well, in fact, they'll be even shorter. You're looking at the new Postmaster General of the North Pole. Well, hey, how about that? I can't believe I'm saying this. And I can't believe I'm feeling this, but I'm happy for you. Ew. Cindy, this was a bad idea with the guests. I'm feeling weird. Get him out.

[Cindy Lou Who]

Show Mr. Grinch there. Not just here to catch up. We need their help sorting through all of these letters.

[The Grinch]

Whoa. Where'd you get Those?

[Cindy Lou Who]

Long story. Mr. Grinch, I'm so glad we solved the mystery and you're not stuck in jail. But Santa still never received any of these letters. Which means on Christmas Day, nobody in Whoville will get a single present.

[The Grinch]

Yeah, sounds like a them problem.

[Cindy Lou Who]

Mr. Grinch, we received a call from Santa himself. He's a huge fan of the show. He listens to it on his sleigh. In fact, he's listening right now. So all we need to do is.

[The Grinch]

Read the letters out loud, one by one, so he knows what gifts to deliver to each house. Not a bad idea, Cindy Lou. But he doesn't have the presents in his sleigh. And the clock's Ticking. How's he gonna have time to stop at Target along the way?

[Cindy Lou Who]

Mr. Grinch, he's Santa. He has his ways. Now, everyone start opening these envelopes.

[The Grinch]

Okay, okay, no biggie. Just saving Christmas to the citizens of whom ill again. But don't call me a hero. Call me a handsome hero. Letter one from Annie Blue. Who? Dear Santa, for Christmas this year, please donate all my presents to children in need. Hey, you got off easy with that one, Santa. Man, what a sweet little girl. Okay, what's at the bottom here? And also, can I have a Nintendo switch? Yeah, coulda guessed that. Okay, next up. Dear Santa, for Christmas, I'd like to rescue a dog and give them a safe and loving home. Dogs. I love dogs. Max, come here, boy. I love you. Good boy. What's this next one? Okay, here we go. Santa, I'll take straight up cash money. Okay, this kid is more my speed. Let's keep this going. Dear Santa, for Christmas this year, I would love it if everybody could hold hands and sing Kumbaya. All right, yeah, this guy's joking around. Next one. You heard about the charcuterie plate on the DeAndre Jordan episode? And he wants to try ropes for it.

[Cindy Lou Who]

Postmaster General Oakley. Yes?

[The Grinch]

You have a gift from an anonymous donor.

[Cindy Lou Who]

Thank you.

[The Grinch]

No problem. Merry Christmas.

[Cindy Lou Who]

Merry Christmas to you, too.

[The Grinch]

I wonder what this could be. Oh, a letter. Dear Gretchen Glee, a little gift to right my wrong from so many years ago. Hope you're having a merry Christmas in jail. Sorry, I couldn't help myself. XOXO Grinch. Oh, Mr. Grinch, Merry Christmas. You're a found one mistake. You're a nasty wasty skunk. Your heart is full of unwashed socks. Your soul is full of gunk. Mr. Grinch, the three words that best describe you are as follows. And I quote, steak, stank, stunk. If you like Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast, you can listen ad free and unlock even more Christmas mystery bonus content by listening on W plus. Join Wondery plus in the Wondery app, Spotify, or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short [e-mail] survey.

[Cindy Lou Who]

Tis the Grinch holiday Podcast is a production of Wondery and Dr. Seuss Enterprises, starring James Austin Johnson as the Grinch, with Anjuli Kunupadini as Cindy Lou who? And Anthony Atamanick as the announcer. Featuring voice acting by David Crabb, Jamie Cooper, Vico Ortiz and Nikki Palumbo. Ancillary voices generated using 11 labs. This episode was written by Dan Cronin and Joe Redlingschafer. Our sound designer is Jamie Cooper with additional sound design by Kelly Kramerek. Music supervision by Scott Velasquez for Frizz on Sync Theme music arrangement by Scott Velasquez of Frizz on Sync and Kevin Hutchins with vocals from James Austin Johnson. Senior producers are Adam Azeroff and Jennifer Klein Walker. Our coordinating producers are Sierra Franco and Mariah Gossett. Sarah Mathis is our managing producer and Callum Plews is our senior managing producer. Audio assembly by Daniel Gonzalez, Carlos Hernandez is our audio engineer and Adrian Tapia is our studio manager. Additional engineering by Wolf Robinson and Daniel Paschina. Special thanks to Austin Atwood at Oceanway Nashville Studios and dale Halfacker at Dr. Seuss Enterprises. Executive produced by Susan Brandt for Dr. Seuss Enterprises. Executive producers are Lauren D, Dave Easton, Andrew Goldstein and Marshall Louie for Wondery.