Party Like a Gronk-Star! with Rob Gronkowski | 3

Summary

Podcast Summary: ‘Tis The Grinch Holiday Podcast

Episode 3: "Party Like a Gronk-Star! with Rob Gronkowski"

Release date: November 24, 2025
Host: The Grinch (James Austin Johnson), with Cindy Lou Who (Anjuli Guna Bonani)
Guest: Rob Gronkowski
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Episode Overview

This holiday episode welcomes NFL legend Rob Gronkowski as the Grinch’s featured guest. The show blends the Grinch’s signature snark about holiday trends with Gronk's infectious party energy, exploring the battle for Whoville's best Christmas bash. Amid laugh-out-loud banter, they riff on wellness fads, celebrity, football, holiday food, and Grinch’s latest attempt to outshine Whoville’s beloved traditions.

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Key Sections & Discussion Highlights

1. Opening Banter & Grinch's Rant on Holiday Viral Trends

(00:15–05:58)

• Grinch vs. Influencers:
  The Grinch delivers a monologue lampooning “morning routine” influencers and the absurdity of modern wellness rituals.

  • Quote:

    “I haven’t seen my skin in 40 years. Whatever it’s doing under there, it’s none of my business.” — The Grinch (03:11)

  • Grinch proposes his version: waking at 11am, extended fart routines, exfoliating with “shards of glass,” “chugging WD-40,” and “yelling profanities” in the mirror.
    • “Nobody should want to get ready with me. Complete and total unpreparedness and neglect. That’s my personal wellness brand.” (05:27)

• Cindy Lou Who’s Perspective:

  • Cindy tries to rationalize wellness trends (“face dunking reduces inflammation”) and encourages the Grinch to connect with followers via his own routine (04:12, 04:40).

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2. AMA Segment: ‘Ask Grinch Anything’

(05:58–10:52)

• The Grinch responds with trademark sarcasm to listener questions:
  • Do you have termites in your smile?
    • “They taste great, and they’re good for you.” (06:53)
  • On Max having a playdate:
    • “Standing around narrating their play with mindless small talk ... totally my kryptonite.” (07:03)
  • Why are you green?
    • “Funny story. My father had permanent seasickness, and my mother was a pickle.” (07:36)
  • On his roast beef recipe:
    • Detailed, tongue-in-cheek instructions ending with, “Or you can just boil it. I’m no food influencer.” (09:17)
  • Smoothies:
    • “I don’t drink smoothies. I drink chunkies. And the ingredients I use are whatever I happen to see crawling near me.” (10:42)

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3. Featured Interview: Rob Gronkowski

(12:00–24:42)

Introductions & Vibe Check

• Gronk is warmly welcomed as the “long lost sixth Gronk brother,” a proposal Gronk heartily endorses — then pledges to teach the Grinch to party.
  • Gronk:

    “We’re going to change that misery out of you, Grinch, and we’re going to make you a happy fellow.” (13:06)

Celebrity Life & Parties

• Life After Football:
  • Gronk admits to loving retirement and “just relaxing” (13:48).
  • On fame:
    • “When you want to cut a line, you don’t have to cut the line. They let you cut.” (14:54)
• On Parties:
  • Gronk’s party philosophy:

    “A party is good for socializing ... and dancing is really good for your blood flow and gets you activated like no other.” (15:44, 16:02)

  • The Grinch is “disgusted” by the idea, but Gronk insists, “Just relax, man ... go in with confidence!” (16:18–17:03)
    • Grinch teases: “So we could shorten that to con man. You're a con man.”
    • Gronk: “No, no ... we’ll keep it at confidence.” (17:14)

Bill Belichick and Football Culture

• The Grinch asks why Gronk compared his old coach to the Grinch:
  • “You guys do have a little tendency in taking away the fun sometimes.” (17:39)
• On infamous cheating scandals:
  • “I got there in 2010 and all that stuff happened before me, so I don’t know anything about it.” (18:16)

Holiday and Diet Chat

• Grinch pokes fun at Tom Brady’s diet, mixing in medieval times tangents.
• Gronk describes “The Gronk Diet” (“Children love poop. But I don’t eat poop. My diet doesn’t consider poop.” 19:32)
  • “Let’s get that clear ... Gronk does not, never eat, ingest poop.” (19:58)
• Favorite Christmas eats:
  • Growing up, Gronk would sneak cookies and milk meant for Santa as a kid; loves his mom’s homemade eggnog and egg casserole.
  • “If it was me cooking for Christmas, I would have just made eggs, some cheese, and warmed up sausage. Easy as 1, 2, 3.” (20:58)
• The Grinch gushes at Gronk making breakfast for his nieces and nephews:
  • “You could probably fly in a three-star Michelin chef ... but you want to do it.” (21:24)
    • Gronk: “I’m a hands-on guy.” (21:37)

Transformation Moment

• Gronk insists his goal is to make the Grinch’s heart grow.
  • “Your heart’s growing, Grinch.” (22:08)
• Grinch tries to resist: “Evil. Nope. Evil. Hatred. Hatred. Evil.” (22:18)
  • Gronk offers eggs. “Have some of my eggs.” (22:22)
• Grinch briefly softens on tasting Gronk’s seasoned eggs (22:25–22:37).
• Gronk: “I want you as the sixth Gronk brother. I think it’s happening.” (22:07)

Rapid-Fire Football Qs

• Punters vs. Kickers:
  • Gronk: “Punters are the bigger dweebs because they don’t score points ... kickers are kind of cool because of that reason.” (23:37)
  • Grinch: “They’ve got skin in the game ... Punters are just strategic losers.” (23:50)
    • Gronk: “I wouldn’t say they’re losers ... just not as cool as the kickers.” (23:58)

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4. Ongoing Storyline: Grinch-a-Palooza Sabotage

(24:54–29:01)

Following the interview, the show's serialized plot returns, focusing on Grinch’s rivalry with Cindy Lou Who over competing Christmas Eve celebrations.

• Setback:

  • Grinch discovers his “business partner,” Dudley Wormhoop, has absconded with all Grinch-a-palooza funds. He is left without money or Cindy’s support. (25:10)

• Sabotage Attempt:

  • The Grinch attempts to derail Cindy’s choir rehearsal with a flock of “Crumpet cockatoos,” only for Cindy to interpret the chaos as a magical holiday moment.
    • “A flock of crumpet cockatoos ... flying in the formation of a Christmas tree ... what a perfect rehearsal for a perfect night.” — Cindy Lou Who (28:09–28:38)

• Classic Grinch Physical Comedy:

  • Disaster befalls the Grinch (bitten by squirrels, stuck in tree branches, foiled again).
    • “Max, I can’t get out of these branches and the squirrels won’t ... Get me out of ...” (28:38)

• Confrontation:

  • Cindy spots Grinch in the tree.
    • “Mr. Grinch, what are you doing here?” — Cindy (28:49)
    • Grinch: “Just came to tell you that last chorus was a bit patchy.” (28:52)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Grinch on Social Influencers:
  • “If I tape my mouth shut, I’d die from choking on my own stank breath.” (03:44)
• Gronk’s Mission:
  • “We’re going to change that misery out of you, Grinch, and we’re going to make you a happy fellow.” (13:06)
• On Parties:
  • “One day, you and I gotta hit the streets, hit the clubs and get our freak on.” — Gronk (16:02)
• Grinch Often Attempts to Resist Positivity:
  • “Evil. Nope. Evil. Hatred. Hatred. Evil.” (22:18)
• Grinch on Seasoned Breakfast:
  • “Is that a caramelized onion in there? ... People don’t season their eggs. Really. Ah.” (22:34)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Holiday Trend Rant / Morning Routines: 02:45–05:58
• AMA with Grinch: 05:58–10:52
• Rob Gronkowski Interview (Main Segment): 12:00–24:42
• Grinch’s Failed Sabotage / Ongoing Serial Plot: 24:54–29:01

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Tone & Style

• The Grinch maintains an acerbic, irreverent wit, skewering both Whoville traditions and modern trends.
• Gronk’s energy is pure, playful, and guileless: “Cheers to the good times!”
• Cindy Lou Who brings the voice of optimistic reason—gently counterbalancing the Grinch’s cynicism.

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Summary

This episode is a raucous holiday romp, spotlighting the culture clash between the Grinch’s curmudgeonly antics and Gronk’s unbridled love of life, food, and family. Listeners are treated to comedic insights on influencer culture, tales of football glory, festive food confessions, and a running plot of Christmas sabotage backfiring with heartwarming (and hilarious) results. Through all the snark and slapstick, glimmers of Grinch’s reluctant warmth shine through—fitting for a holiday special.

Transcript

[Announcer]

Wondery plus subscribers can listen to Tis the Grinch Holiday podcast ad free. Join Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Max, get it, grab it. Here goes dinner.

[Announcer]

Hello?

[Rob Gronkowski]

Hey, this is Rob Gronkowski. I'm here for the podcast.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Oh yeah, Grog. That's right. Hey, listen, there was a blizzard last night and there's mounds of snow everywhere. You're probably gonna need to run over to who Depot for me and pick up a few things if you're gonna make it up to the studio today.

[Rob Gronkowski]

Okay, yeah, that's fine.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

What do you want me to grab you? Get a shovel. All right. And an ice pick and some rock salt. You also want to rent a snow cat? You ever ridden on a snow. I love those. Oh, okay.

[Rob Gronkowski]

I grew up riding snow caps.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

While you're there, could you also grab me a few yards of PVC piping?

[Rob Gronkowski]

Not a problem.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Are you riding this down? Yes. Oh, you brought a notebook and a pen. Wow, you're more prepared than some of the athletes that do the show.

[Rob Gronkowski]

I went to school.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Save it for the pod.

[Narrator]

From Onery and Dr. Seuss, broadcasting from Mount Crumpet Studios, where the foam caps on the microphones are green, but not on purpose. It's mold, people. It's Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. And as always, Grinch's right hand woman, who's actually left handed Cindy Lou who reporting for duty. Plus he's the master of sit, stay and go potty on the neighbor's lawn. Not ours. It's your furry friend Max the dog. But now he's banned from who Mart for pre tangling all their Christmas lights. Here's your host. It's the Grinch.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Oh yeah, it's true. They don't actually come like that. It's only if I get my hands on them first. I also unscrew all the little bulbs. I call it the Grinch special. A thousand shoddy LED lights and 50ft of frustration.

[Cindy Lou Who (Anjuli Guna Bonani)]

I actually enjoy untangling Christmas lights. It's relaxing.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Well, that takes all the fun out of it for me. Real buzzkill. Send. Alright, folks, the holidays are getting closer and closer, so you bet your yuletide tushies I'm mad about something. Let's do the dang thing.

[Narrator]

Hold on to your seats.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Keep on your pants.

[Narrator]

The Grinch is going on one of his rants.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

I was on Insta who yesterday, just trolling Santa in the comments and reporting harmless posts by the smartless guys when my algorithm bombarded me with the most ridiculous trend morning routine. Videos. Have you seen these colossal wastes of Max? Yeah, I know. Insta who and who Talk are flooded with a Get ready with me grwm. Follow my morning routine. I wake up at 6am and do 700 push ups and lather my face in 45 different Hootrogena products because I'm better than you. Listen, Fit bros and wellness who's I don't care about your skincare. I'm covered in fur. I haven't seen my skin in 40 years. Whatever it's doing under there, it's none of my business. These influencers, they've gone completely loco. I mean, for crying out loud, they're taping their mouths shut when they go to sleep.

[Cindy Lou Who (Anjuli Guna Bonani)]

Actually, it's supposed to encourage nasal breathing and improve sleep quality.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

It's certifiably insane and irresponsible to tell.

[Announcer]

Your followers to do that.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

If I tape my mouth shut, I'd die from choking on my own stank breath. But here's an idea for these morning routine influencers. Instead of doing it before bed, why don't you tape your mouth shut during the day so we never have to listen to a GRWM from you ever again? But listen, it's not just the silly mouth tape that gives me the super ick from these videos. It's the chugging of the lemon water, the poopy pills, and the dunking your face in ice cold H2O willingly.

[Cindy Lou Who (Anjuli Guna Bonani)]

Oh, the face dunking is supposed to reduce puffiness and inflammation.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

I like being puffy and inflamed. You know what I don't like waterboarding myself at 6am Way too early for torture. That's more of an afternoon thing. Some of these influencers even start their day with gratitude journals. My two least favorite words. Here's what I'm grateful for. The block button.

[Cindy Lou Who (Anjuli Guna Bonani)]

I bet your followers would love to see a GRWG get ready with Grinch.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Oh, really? You think they'd like that? Huh? I guess I could give him a little overview of how the green Machine starts his day. 11am Wake up, fart for five minutes straight. Great way to release toxins. Then back to bed, wake up two hours later, fart again, then start my skincare routine. And yes, my skin totally looks like a football that was left out in the rain. But there's no way you'd know under all the fur. So the routine is basically just exfoliating with shards of glass. It's really good for accentuating fine lines and wrinkles. Then I chug a glass of WD40 with a lemon squeezed in. Condition my fur with deep fryer oil, then yell profanities at myself in the mirror for an hour. Thanks for tuning in. Don't forget to smash that like and subscribe button. Check back tomorrow. Who have I become? Nobody should want to get ready with me. Complete and total unpreparedness and neglect. That's my personal wellness brand. But it is working out for me. I mean, look at how good I look.

[Cindy Lou Who (Anjuli Guna Bonani)]

Great job, Mr. Grinch. I can already see our engagement numbers climbing. I think sharing your morning routine really resonated.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Hmm. Engagement app that equals cash money, right?

[Cindy Lou Who (Anjuli Guna Bonani)]

Uh, well, technically, yes, but really, it's just nice to connect with you.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Bank account advance, too, of course. Look, I'm happy to share my morning routine or any other routine. I'm an open book. Which is why I've agreed to do an ama. That stands for Ask Me Anything, and I do mean anything. Except don't ask me to make a video for your friend's birthday that'll cost you $72 on my new personalized video sharing platform. And Cammy. Ugh. Okay, so how does this work? Do I just answer questions as I see them pop up on my laptop here? Cindy.

[Cindy Lou Who (Anjuli Guna Bonani)]

That's right. Answer whichever questions you want. The first one is live now.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Okay, let me put on my readers here. Just nestle these at the tip of my nose. Okay. Imneydiver777 asks, do you really have termites in your smile, like the song says? Thank you for the question. I'm glad you asked. Here, let me smile for Cindy. Cindy, what do you see in there?

[Cindy Lou Who (Anjuli Guna Bonani)]

Oh, definitely see termites.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

I would hope so. They taste great, and they're good for you.

[Cindy Lou Who (Anjuli Guna Bonani)]

I don't think that's true.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Hey, if they can ask me anything, I can answer with anything. Okay. Urbabydaddy asks, do you think Max and my dog Sebastian would be up for a playdate? No, that would mean you and me standing around narrating their play with mindless small talk between poop pickups, which is, like, totally my kryptonite. Not happening. Nnamentjunkie44 says. Hello, Mr. Grinch, I'm here to inquire. How is it that you never seem to tire of grumpiness, griping and complaining by the fire? Okay, does this kid have a question, or did this just become a poetry slam? I mean, he's not bad, but what is the question? Oh, here it is. He asks, why are you green? Funny story. My father had permanent seasickness, and my mother was a pickle.

[Cindy Lou Who (Anjuli Guna Bonani)]

Mr. Grinch, I know that's not true.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Next. Here, tockingscratchandsniff66 asks, in season one, episode four, when you were interviewing comedian Bobby Moynihan, was there simmering bitterness underneath the surface and did it lead to anything? Very perceptive. Yes, it did. It led to a duel. We wounded each other very badly, but now we're great friends again. Next. Eppermintpete asks, will you be coming to East Whoville State anytime soon? Why? You guys got any big parties coming up? Because of. If you do, maybe I'll swing by beforehand and unplug all your speakers. Your parties are too loud. Okay, let's see. More questions are flying in. Nope, too personal. Nope, too personal. Not a question. Too sentimental. That one's just a recipe. Okay, here's one from pikachusanta. Why do you feel the need to smash everything? Also when you go back to being Bruce Banner? Okay, this kid is confusing me for the Hulk with these muscles. I can see why. Grinch, man, I love that guy. I loved hanging out with Hulk at the it's not easy being green meetings. It's just like me and Kermit always wanting to place Banjo. It's like, we get it, dude. You're good at banjo and you can ride a bike. Just drop it. Ookingwkatie asks how do you like to cook roast beef? You know, I'm glad you asked. I don't like to do a whole lot to the roast bee's. I just get a nice thick cut of it, you know, about an inch thick. What we're gonna do is we're just kinda, kinda gonna throw it down, get a nice crust building on the bottom of it. But then you just get a spoon, you get a little spring, a thyme, rosemary, whatever your aromatics are. Just throw those on the other side and you're just gonna let that gently infuse with the butter and just start basting. You know what I mean? Get a glove on. All right. Not everybody has. My hands can just pick up a hot cast iron pan with no glove on. Put the welding mask on while you're at it. Cause there's gonna be some splatters, babe. So just tip it up onto the side, just start basting that butter, that herb infused butter on there. And then you put it down, you get a nice crust underneath, Just flip it around, kiss. It doesn't need to be on the other side for very long. Let it rest. Because if you cut right into that thing. Oh, all those juices are Gonna get all over your butcher block. You really don't want something like that to happen. Or you can just boil it. Okay, I'm no food influencer. Next, let's see. WrenchFanInfresNo asks, did you really shoot first or was it Han Solo? Okay, for the last time, I am not Greedo from Star Wars. I know we're both green, but I'm the Grinch. All right, how is this happening? Greedo. He used to be at the meetings too. Great guy. Ealthywho88 asks, when you make a smoothie, what ingredients do you use? All right, well, let's get one thing straight, healthy who 88. I don't drink smoothies. I drink chunkies. And the ingredients I use are whatever I happen to see crawling near me. Okay, that's enough honesty for one lifetime. Fun idea. Ask me anything. But I think I still prefer my original pitch. Who said you could ask me a question? Let's try one of those next week. Hey there, Grinch fans.

[Announcer]

If you and the family are enjoying the show, I have the perfect recommendation for you. After you've listened to every episode of Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast, I obviously. It's a podcast called the Cinnamon Bear A Holiday Adventure. The magical Cinnamon Bear, played by the one and only Alan Cumming, helps little Jimmy and Judy on a quest to find their stolen tree topping star. Along the way, they'll encounter some bizarre characters including Mr. Presto, the magician voiced by John Goodman and Santa Claus himself played by Ryan Reynolds. A little bit of humor mixed with a star studded cast. Did we mention Rachel Dratch too? And you've got a deliciously rich and rewarding holiday experience. Listen to the Cinnamon A Holiday Adventure only on audible. And Grinch listeners can get audible for only 99 cents a month for the first three months. For a limited time, save over 90% on the best selection of audiobooks plus podcasts like the Cinnamon Bear. Just visit the Audible website and look for the limited time offer banner Happy Holidays.

[Narrator]

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch. You really are a heel.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

You're as cuddly as a cactus. You're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch. You're a bad banana with a greasy black pill. My guest tonight is a four time super bowl champion, a five time Pro Bowler, and a one billion time guy who jumps in the pool with all his clothes on at a party. So you know I'm hyped for this interview. He's also universally regarded as one of the greatest tight ends in Football history, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And his podcast, Dudes on Dudes was once named the number one podcast to listen to while bashing your head against a cave wall by me. Please welcome NFL legend Rob Gronkowski. Nice to meet you, Grinch. Gronk. Gronk, Grinch. Grinch. Gronk, Gronk. Are we somehow related? Are we bros? I mean, could I be the long lost sixth Gronk brother?

[Rob Gronkowski]

You sure can be, Mr. Grinch. I love you. I love your movies. I love what you represent, what I really do. But you can change a little bit every once in a while, that's for sure. And that's why you can be the honorary six Gronk brother that Grinch might change to Gronk. Because we're going to change that misery out of you, Grinch, and we're going to make you a happy fellow.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

What is this energy? You are a cheerful young man. You have a lot of. What's the word I'm trying to think of? You have kind of this annoying charisma. Charisma, Yeah, I guess that's what I. And you know what? Maybe that does mean we're related because I have been referred to as a charismatic and aggravating individual myself. Where you at today? You know, what are you feeling? Your energy level is off the charts. Aren't you retired?

[Rob Gronkowski]

I am retired and I've been sitting on my couch for the last 36 hours just watching movies and watching TV shows, just relaxing.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

A lot of various Grinch related media.

[Rob Gronkowski]

Not necessarily more action, you know, movies. I'm a big action guy. Mission Impossible 3, the Final Reckoning.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Yeah, you know, Tom, he's a good friend of mine, but I mean, that guy, he's always running in those movies.

[Rob Gronkowski]

He does a great job doing all of his own stunts and you got to respect that. He doesn't let a double come in for that. And the way he can run, I think he's 59 years old from what I heard.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Hey, don't add him on my show, Grinch.

[Rob Gronkowski]

I thought you liked that stuff.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

I like to expose harmful truths about others, but I wouldn't say that I want, you know, necessarily the whole media attention. You know what I mean? I'm already kind of a famous guy. I get stopped a lot at restaurants and people come up to me and they're like, hey, do I know you from somewhere? And I say, ah, yeah, probably from when I stole Christmas. And you know, I do the autograph and everybody's happy, but it's fucking being famous. Isn't it?

[Rob Gronkowski]

It's excellent. When you want to cut a line, you don't have to cut the line. They let you cut them. They ask for you to cut the line, which is just fantastic. You never have to wait, you know, being well known in the public eye.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Ah, ah. That's the best. It's just exerting privilege and power over the little people. I think that's really why we do it.

[Rob Gronkowski]

I don't do it. You know, I'm not exerting the. They're like, it's Graham, I high five everyone. I cut the line and kaboom. I get out of there.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Very smart. Little do they know, deep inside your mind, you're going, this is what it's all about, baby. Stealing from the public. Well, that and the partying, right? I mean, you love to party and have a good time, which is a huge disconnect for me because I love to call the cops on parties and have a terrible time.

[Cindy Lou Who (Anjuli Guna Bonani)]

Time.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

So. So what am I missing?

[Rob Gronkowski]

Well, you got a lot of energy, Grinch. You just gotta use it in the right way. A party is good for socializing, getting to meet, you know, new people. I like to be around my girl, my family, my friends. Cheers to the good times. Cheers to the good memories. But if you're trying to party, one other good thing besides the socializing is dancing. Dancing is really good for your health. It's really good for your blood flow, and it gets you activated like no other. One day, you and I gotta hit the streets, hit the clubs and get our freak on.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Oh, well, I gotta tell you, Gronk, that's just. That's a very generous offer and I'm disgusted by it. And the very thought of just simple socializing and dancing all night kind of makes me feel pukey. I guess pukey is the word. But your spirit is very contagious, Grinch.

[Rob Gronkowski]

You were talking about throwing up, you know, on the dance floor. You just got to chill out on the eggnog. Don't eat for about three hours beforehand when you know you're going to go out, so then you're not with a full belly so it doesn't yak back up. Just relax, man. And don't worry if you don't feel comfortable, just leave it up to me. You think my dance moves were anything good? No, but I just went in with confidence.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Confidence?

[Rob Gronkowski]

It got the crowd going every single time. And that's what you got to do.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

You're a confidence man. Would you say you're a confidence man?

[Rob Gronkowski]

I Would say so. Yes.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

So we could shorten that to con man. You're a con man.

[Rob Gronkowski]

No, no, you heard it first. We'll keep it at confidence.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

You heard it first on the Grinch Show.

[Rob Gronkowski]

Hey, Grinch Gronk. Hey, confidence. The only one I'm going to con are those people in line so I can cut them.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Okay, well, moving on. You've often compared your longtime head coach, Bill Belichick to me. Why is that? Is it because he's a reluctant media darling who is disheveled and ill tempered is why?

[Rob Gronkowski]

Yes, you guys got similar traits, but Coach Belichick, greatest coach of all time. I am thankful that he was my coach for the first nine years in the NFL. I'm thankful that he drafted me. But you guys do have a little tendency in taking away the fun sometimes. When it comes down to it, this.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Is what it's about. It's about the fact that I famously stole Christmas and he famously stole the other team's signals. Is that what you're talking about here?

[Rob Gronkowski]

Oh, oh, that's not what I'm talking about.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Go on the record.

[Rob Gronkowski]

I don't know what you're talking about because that was before my hand.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Hey, man, nobody listens to this thing. You can be honest.

[Rob Gronkowski]

I got there in 2010 and all that stuff happened before me, so I don't know anything about it.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Very convenient.

[Announcer]

All right, well, real talk, what's up.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

With your boy Tom Brady? I mean, what's this guy's deal? What a snooze. I mean, have you seen his diet? Plant based, no processed foods, nightshade, vegetables. Gross. Can you even name one nightshade vegetable? Come on, name one.

[Rob Gronkowski]

A tomato.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Okay. All right, you're done. This interview, I mean, I'm thinking about pulling the plug. Cause here's the thing. Nobody knows what a nightshade. I thought nightshade were poison. I thought that was a medieval poison. Do you like the medieval Times?

[Rob Gronkowski]

I feel like there was really no showers around back in those days.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

You know, it reeked.

[Rob Gronkowski]

And I'm a clean freak. And that's what really, you know, keeps me away from the medieval times.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Gotcha.

[Rob Gronkowski]

It was more on the dirty side.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

When you crack open a book and you look at a picture of the past, you know, it reeked. You know that it smelled pretty rank out there.

[Rob Gronkowski]

It probably reeks like my toilet.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Okay, all right, now we're really talking about the Gronk diet here. I mean, if I strictly adhered to the Gronk diet, what would that Consist of. And remember, kids are listening.

[Rob Gronkowski]

Yeah, the children are listening. And children love poop. I got nine nephews and nieces told all the.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Too many.

[Rob Gronkowski]

All they do is talk about poop. No, it's not too many because I'm not the parent. I want my brothers to have as many kids as possible because I show up, I rile them up, and then I leave a couple hours later and it's the greatest thing ever. And all they do is talk about poop. Yeah, they call me poopy head. They say I smell like poop. They say I take poops. So the children listening love poop. But I don't eat poop. My diet doesn't consider poop.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Okay, good. I wanted to make sure. Let's get that clear. Let's go on the record. Yes, Gronk does not. Never eat, ingest poop. Okay.

[Rob Gronkowski]

Never eat it.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

All right. Well, speaking of that, what do you eat on Christmas? Huh?

[Rob Gronkowski]

Well, my parents, back in the day, they used to leave all the cookies out and milk for Santa Claus. And I would wake up at 2am and I would eat those cookies and I would drink that milk and not leave any for Santa Claus. Oh, yeah. Oh, and then I'm a big eggnog guy. My mom used to make homemade eggnog and I would have three glasses homemade eggnog first thing in the morning on Christmas. And she would also make some egg casserole that was very delicious as well.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

And you were just kind of like, you'd see her making that egg casserole. You go, hey, that's too complex. I got to go in another room.

[Rob Gronkowski]

You know, that's right.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

She's dumping various liquids and ingredients into a big dish and just putting it in an oven, forgetting about it. That's too crazy. I can't. I can't possibly watch that.

[Rob Gronkowski]

I agree. If it was me cooking for Christmas, I would have just put some, you know, eggs on the stove, made them scrambled, threw some cheese in it, and then just warm up some sausages that were in the freezer. Easy as 1, 2, 3.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

You like. You say you make this for your. For your nephews and your nieces. You just make a breakfast. You like making breakfast for the kids?

[Rob Gronkowski]

I do. I'm a big breakfast guy.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

That's so sweet. You're like a celebrity. You don't have to do that. You could probably fly in a three star Michelin chef to come and make everybody records. But you want to do it. You want to do it on Christmas.

[Rob Gronkowski]

God, I'm a Hands on, guy.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

My heart. My heart's growing. Gronk, help me out. Don't quit laughing. I'm having a.

[Rob Gronkowski]

Hey, hey, Grinch, we talked about it at the beginning. I need that heart to grow because we want you to be an honorary Gronk.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

It feels so bad.

[Rob Gronkowski]

And that was the goal. That's why I came on this show. Cause I want you to be there.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

For Christmas this year.

[Rob Gronkowski]

I feel terrible as the sixth Gronk brother. I want you as the sixth Gronk brother. I think it's happening.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

He wants me to be his brother.

[Rob Gronkowski]

Your heart's growing, Grinch.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Gronk, Gronk, Grinch, Grinch, Gronk, Gronk, Gronk, you heart's growing.

[Rob Gronkowski]

I love you. I love you, Grunch. Oh, you're turning into Gronk. You're just Grunch right now.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Down, down, heart down. Evil. Nope. Evil. Hatred. Hatred. Evil.

[Rob Gronkowski]

Have some of my eggs.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Okay.

[Rob Gronkowski]

Did it grow? Are you a Gronk yet?

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

I'm eating the eggs. Egg. It's actually seasoned. That's. People don't season their eggs. Really? Ah.

[Rob Gronkowski]

Salt and pepper. I keep it simple.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

That's all you need every day. People just forget that simple step. Oh, these are delicious. Is that. Is that a caramelized onion in there? Did you grow some onions? Mm. And you brought this for me from home? I mean, this is just the most touching. No, no, I just got done with this whole heart thing, and I just got back on track. I'm not gonna think about your generosity. All right, Gronk, you're a sneaky fella. Mm. You're a sneaky little guy. I don't know about you. This is kinda ticking me off at this point.

[Rob Gronkowski]

I'm smarter than I look, Grinch.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

All right, well, listen, I've had a lot of fun talking to you, and I can't wait for you to leave. So I'm gonna go ahead and let's wrap this up real quick. Last question. Who's a bigger dweeb? Punters or kickers? On the dork scale, where do we land here?

[Rob Gronkowski]

I'm gonna say punters are the bigger dweebs because they don't score points. Kickers kick for points. They put points on the scoreboard. So they're kind of cool because of that reason.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

They've got skin in the game. And the punters are just some pawns. They're just pawns in the game. They're just strategic losers.

[Rob Gronkowski]

I wouldn't say they're losers. Some of them are Actually really, really, really cool, but they're just not as cool as the kickers.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm sure the discourse on that is gonna be civil, so join us in the comments section for that. Grok, thank you so much for doing the show. I'm never gonna get that hour back, but it was just really nice to get to meet you and talk to you and grab a swag bag on the way out. It's my trash. I just need it taken down the mountain. Gronk, thanks for coming by.

[Rob Gronkowski]

Hey, hey, thanks for having me. And the whole goal of me coming on Grinch was to make your heart grow.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

All right?

[Rob Gronkowski]

So hopefully when I see you for Christmas, you're a Gronk, not a Grinch.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Thanks, man.

[Rob Gronkowski]

Hey, thanks for having me on.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Okay. All right. Thanks, man.

[Rob Gronkowski]

See you later.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

All right. No, wait, I don't want to go.

[Rob Gronkowski]

You're so fun. Hey.

[Announcer]

Bye.

[Narrator]

The Christmas spectacular showdown is ramping up. It's Cindy versus the Grinch in dueling events on the same night. Last we heard, Cindy tried to warn Grinch about his new business partner, Dudley Wormhoop.

[Cindy Lou Who (Anjuli Guna Bonani)]

He had a half finished roller coaster at a rock concert.

[Narrator]

But Grinch got swindled by his cool accent and stylish scarf. Brilliant mate Dudley took off in his chopper with all the cash on Mount Crumpet, leaving him with zero buckaroos to pull this thing off.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Max, did we just get swindled?

[Narrator]

With no producer, no money, and no Cindy, will Grinch be able to pull a Grinch a Palooza off? Let's find out.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Grinch here, reporting live from downtown Whoville. Don't worry, I'm in disguise and I look gorgeous as a blonde. Loyal podcast listeners, I know you're on team Me. You want to see the demise of the tree lighting, Whatever, who cares? And the rise of Grinchapalooza. So let's do some good old fashioned sabotage. Shh. Birds. Not yet. Okay, so here's the deal. I've acquired an entire flock of crumpet cockatoos to completely derail Cindy's cutesy little choir rehearsal at the base of Whoville's precious Christmas. Yeah, yeah, they're a protected species. I know that. And today, they're protecting Grincha Paloza. So here's the plan. I'm gonna let them loosen the tree, which is gigantic, by the way. Is this a genetically modified tree? This thing is a monster. Yes, I'm sure this is a good idea, Max. What are you talking about? Once the nerds over at Whoville Wildlife Services Realize that they're a bunch of crumpet cockatoos. There's no way they're gonna let Cindy light it up. It would disrupt their precious habitat. That's right. I'm saving the environment one ugly little bird at a time.

[Narrator]

And they call me a villain.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Okay. It's hard to villainously laugh while climbing. I'm climbing up, looking for a perfect spot for these little birdies to call home. Ouch. I'm okay. Just a branch to the butt. Ah, branch to the face. Now that's gonna bruise. Yikes. I think some tree needles have made their way into my crevasses.

[Cindy Lou Who (Anjuli Guna Bonani)]

Welcome to the Children's Fly. Step forward. Right up here is where you'll perform. You'll come right up to the base of the tree. Get in for me and sing.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Yeah. Look at Cindy down there, barking orders like she owns the place. I think I just got bit by a squirrel. Oh, God. How many of you guys are up here? Stop. Next to my fingie. Now. Get off it. No.

[Announcer]

No.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Ow.

[Cindy Lou Who (Anjuli Guna Bonani)]

Is everyone ready for a herd?

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Get off me, tree rat. You guys are so cute that you bite like you're awful. Bob, you're agitating them. No, the birds. The squirrels Open the cage. Too soon.

[Cindy Lou Who (Anjuli Guna Bonani)]

What is happening in that tree? Oh, look, everyone. How magical. A flock of crumpet cockatoos came all the way down the mountain to hear the music, and they're flying in the formation of a Christmas tree. Oh, and now they're taking to the skies. They're going back up the mountain. Wow, this is marvelous. Breathtaking. What a perfect rehearsal for a perfect night.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Max, I can't get out of these branches and the squirrels won't. Give it a rest. Get me out of.

[Cindy Lou Who (Anjuli Guna Bonani)]

Mr. Grinch, what are you doing here?

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Ah, just came to tell you that last chorus was a bit patchy.

[Narrator]

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

You're a nasty, wasty skunk. Your heart is full of unwashed socks.

[Narrator]

Your soul is full of gunk. Mr. Grinch, the three words that best.

[The Grinch (James Austin Johnson)]

Describe you are as follows, and I.

[Narrator]

Quote, stink stack stunk.

[Announcer]

Follow Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast on the Wondery App, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast ad free by joining Wondery in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short [e-mail] survey. If you have a tip about a story you think we should investigate, please write to [e-mail] tips.

[Cindy Lou Who (Anjuli Guna Bonani)]

Tis the Grinch holiday Podcast is a production of Wondery and Dr. Seuss Enterprises, starring James Austin Johnson as the Grinch, with Anjuli Guna Bonani as Cindy Lou who? And Anthony Atamanick as the announcer. This episode was written by our lead writer, Dan Cronin and Joe Redlingschafer. Our sound designer is Jamie Cooper. Music supervision by Scott Velasquez for Frison Sync. Senior producers are Adam Adam, Jennifer Klein Walker and Brian Taylor White. Our associate producer is Kim Baekema. Sarah Mathis is our managing producer and Callum Plews is our senior managing producer. Carlos Hernandez is our audio engineer and Adrian Tapia is our studio manager. Executive produced by Susan Brandt for Dr. Seuss Enterprises. Executive producers are Andrew Goldstein and Marsha Louie for Wondery.